Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 234. Tijana Dated Him For 8 Weeks… Then Filed An AVO

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234. Tijana Dated Him For 8 Weeks… Then Filed An AVO · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apologiae Production.
0:11
Speaker 2: Welcome to the she Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
0:14
Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
0:17
Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
0:21
Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
0:23
Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:31
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Another episode off Shee Raisers. We're excited
0:34
Speaker 2: to be in your fears. Thanks for joining us. Thanks
0:37
Speaker 2: for joining us for another episode. If you're new here,
0:39
Speaker 2: Welcome to our family. We upload twice a week every
0:42
Speaker 2: Monday and Wednesday. Monday is more of our sealf development
0:45
Speaker 2: storytelling what's happening in our lives, things that we've learned,
0:48
Speaker 2: et cetera. And we have an epic guest on too.
0:50
Speaker 2: We try to have one guest on every single month.
0:52
Speaker 2: And then Wednesday is our Bestie submission where you get
0:54
Speaker 2: to write in you're anonymous submission where we can help
0:57
Speaker 2: you and give some besty advice kind of outside of
0:59
Speaker 2: your circle. So if you're new here, welcome. If you're
1:01
Speaker 2: an og, thanks for coming back today. We have a
1:03
Speaker 2: bit of an interesting storytelling from Tiana about the ex
1:08
Speaker 2: partner that she had to put an AVO out and
1:10
Speaker 2: so super ducy today. But before we get started, what
1:13
Speaker 2: is your share of the week.
1:15
Speaker 3: Honestly, my share of the week is going to be
1:17
Speaker 3: a real cheeky and shameless plug.
1:19
Speaker 1: For now retreats.
1:21
Speaker 3: So by now we've actually released tickets if you haven't heard,
1:25
Speaker 3: we run retreats in Australia and both internationally in Bali
1:28
Speaker 3: as well, and we recently have launched another retreat for
1:32
Speaker 3: Australia and Byron Bay in November. Unfortunately, I know you're
1:35
Speaker 3: gonna be really sad to hear this, but we have
1:37
Speaker 3: sold out for our sleepover passes, but we do have
1:40
Speaker 3: our day passes left now, just as good as a
1:43
Speaker 3: sleepover passes if you cannot make it. Obviously you have
1:46
Speaker 3: to get your own accommodation and things like that, but
1:47
Speaker 3: you still get access to every single thing, all of
1:50
Speaker 3: the facilitators and everything. And honestly, these retreats are so transformative.
1:55
Speaker 3: The level of connection, the sisterhood, the personal transformation, the
1:59
Speaker 3: way that you leave these retreats feeling like a brand
2:02
Speaker 3: new woman is something out of this world. And would
2:06
Speaker 3: just love to see you there.
2:07
Speaker 2: Yes, So only downfall with our retreats is how quickly
2:09
Speaker 2: they sell out. Yes, because the spots, well, one, they're
2:11
Speaker 2: limited because it's intimate. We can probably sleep fourteen women there,
2:14
Speaker 2: plus we sleep ourselves there, so we're actually plugged in
2:17
Speaker 2: having a sleepover three.
2:18
Speaker 4: Nights with do you.
2:19
Speaker 2: But yeah, they just fell so damn quick. But the
2:21
Speaker 2: way we created more space was creating these day passes.
2:23
Speaker 2: And they're really good for also local women. If you
2:25
Speaker 2: are breastfeeding, if you've got a combination, or you just
2:28
Speaker 2: like your own space, that's totally fine. They're a much
2:31
Speaker 2: cheaper option as well. So got a couple of those
2:33
Speaker 2: spaces left. If you would like to come, just dm
2:35
Speaker 2: us on Instagram the word retreat. We can give you
2:37
Speaker 2: all the information. Love that.
2:39
Speaker 1: What's your share of the week?
2:40
Speaker 4: Fabe my share of the week.
2:42
Speaker 2: It's our new slavor for clean treats. Another shameless plug,
2:46
Speaker 2: but I don't really ever talk about it on here.
2:47
Speaker 2: I don't talk about much of my socials. Once again,
2:49
Speaker 2: they sell out a lot of time. When I send
2:51
Speaker 2: traffic to the website. Most of the good flight like
2:53
Speaker 2: they're really popular flavors are gone because they're so yummy.
2:55
Speaker 4: They're so yummy.
2:56
Speaker 2: So we've had two new recent flavors, Chock Honeycomb personal
2:59
Speaker 2: fav I just love Chrok Honeycome and the chocolate pistachio
3:03
Speaker 2: Dubai one.
3:03
Speaker 4: Oh that's so good. Oh my gosh.
3:05
Speaker 2: They're so Moorish, they're dairy free, soy free. They're super
3:08
Speaker 2: easy to make, like takes five minutes. She had the
3:10
Speaker 2: dry mixture with some rice milks through almond butter and
3:13
Speaker 2: cooking oil.
3:14
Speaker 4: Weld them together. It's done. Healthier snacks for you and
3:16
Speaker 4: the kids. They won't last in your fridge because they're
3:18
Speaker 4: so damn good.
3:18
Speaker 1: They are so young.
3:19
Speaker 3: I remember when you gave me the Dubai one to try.
3:22
Speaker 3: Were sitting in the car. I remember the moment like
3:23
Speaker 3: it was yesterday, and we were just like, oh my gosh,
3:25
Speaker 3: this is so delicious.
3:27
Speaker 4: A ten I was so good.
3:28
Speaker 2: So if you want to pack it of those, just
3:29
Speaker 2: DM me privately the word treat and I'll send you
3:31
Speaker 2: the direct link.
3:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, so be yummy.
3:33
Speaker 1: Now I want to treat.
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Speaker 3: We need a sweet We need a sweet treat for
3:36
Speaker 3: this conversation. Yes, this story is crazy.
3:40
Speaker 2: So the name of the episode is Tiana dated him
3:42
Speaker 2: for eight weeks, then filed an av Oh what the
3:44
Speaker 2: fuck happened? Who is this man? How did you meet him?
3:48
Speaker 2: And what happened in such a short amount of time? Oh,
3:50
Speaker 2: my goodness.
3:52
Speaker 3: As you know, or if you don't know, I'm very
3:53
Speaker 3: much like a fairy tale lover kind of girl. I'm
3:55
Speaker 3: a lover at heart, right so I've always been like
3:59
Speaker 3: wanting to have a fairy tale experience, but also like
4:02
Speaker 3: the deep kind, you know, I'm always like, I want
4:04
Speaker 3: to have deep conversation. The geminis service level, multifaceted, I
4:08
Speaker 3: tell you that right now. And I stumbled across this
4:11
Speaker 3: really tall, dark haired, handsome man who I was like,
4:15
Speaker 3: who is this man? Is well groomed, takes care of himself,
4:18
Speaker 3: he like dresses like really stylish fit. Yeah, honestly to
4:21
Speaker 3: the box, he really did. And he's actually somebody that
4:25
Speaker 3: I met online actually, but it was through like a
4:27
Speaker 3: friend of a friend, you know, when on social media
4:28
Speaker 3: you've got mutual friends. I actually found out that he
4:31
Speaker 3: was a good friend of my cousin's husband.
4:34
Speaker 4: You know.
4:34
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, obviously I'd always been really not
4:37
Speaker 3: against but kind of like wanting to meet somebody organically,
4:39
Speaker 3: but because I knew of somebody who knew him was family,
4:42
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, obviously, like you can just tell
4:44
Speaker 3: me what he's like, and you know, we'll be fine.
4:46
Speaker 3: So we ended up talking online for a good four
4:48
Speaker 3: weeks before we had actually met in person, and it
4:51
Speaker 3: was like the deep kind of conversations that I like,
4:53
Speaker 3: I was like, this man is intriguing, Like he's talking
4:56
Speaker 3: about he played piano, and he spoke a different language,
4:59
Speaker 3: and we were talking about the universe and like all
5:01
Speaker 3: these different things that kind of captured my attention in
5:04
Speaker 3: the very beginning, especially because on social media I've previously
5:07
Speaker 3: had experiences of just real surface level conversations like you know,
5:12
Speaker 3: the yeah, the usual, like what you experience on like yes, hey,
5:16
Speaker 3: what's up, Like just real low effort kind of energy,
5:20
Speaker 3: and he didn't have that. So it naturally just caught
5:22
Speaker 3: my attention to the beginning. And so I remember us
5:26
Speaker 3: leading up four weeks leading up to that. We just
5:28
Speaker 3: obviously built a connection because we were talking quite frequently,
5:31
Speaker 3: and I remember seeing him for the first time and
5:33
Speaker 3: it was like I was like nervous excited to see him,
5:35
Speaker 3: But it was one of those experiences where I was like, oh, okay,
5:38
Speaker 3: like I actually feel like I've kind of found a
5:39
Speaker 3: good one when I saw him. We actually ended up
5:42
Speaker 3: going for dinner at this Korean barbecue or something in
5:44
Speaker 3: Sydney and just sat across from each other. There was
5:47
Speaker 3: so much eye contact, and he was well spoken, well dressed,
5:50
Speaker 3: very chivalrous, like you know, opened the door for me
5:53
Speaker 3: and all the all the typical like things that you do.
5:56
Speaker 3: We ended up going to like the aquarium or something
5:58
Speaker 3: like that, just strolled through and had like this really
6:00
Speaker 3: beautiful date. So it continued on from there and we
6:03
Speaker 3: just had all these conversations and started spending time with
6:07
Speaker 3: each other. And he had lived like an hour and
6:09
Speaker 3: a half away from me, so every weekend he was
6:11
Speaker 3: booking something in. He was like organized, the masculine kind
6:14
Speaker 3: of energy that you want, like leading, always taking me places,
6:18
Speaker 3: introducing me to everyone, you know, introducing me to all
6:21
Speaker 3: these different people, and like showing me and almost like
6:23
Speaker 3: inviting me into his world, which at the time I
6:25
Speaker 3: was like, this is good. This guy's got a lot
6:27
Speaker 3: going on, Like this is great.
6:29
Speaker 2: So what happened and turned so quickly because eight weeks
6:32
Speaker 2: is not a long time to put an AVO out on someone.
6:34
Speaker 3: It would have been probably around like the four to
6:38
Speaker 3: six week mark. Okay, we were doing stuff all the time,
6:41
Speaker 3: Like I was working full time through the week and
6:43
Speaker 3: then going out with him on the weekends. But he
6:45
Speaker 3: was always scheduling things in that I felt like he
6:48
Speaker 3: was always in my field. And I started to notice
6:51
Speaker 3: that when we would spend time on our own, it
6:54
Speaker 3: kind of shifted. His demeanor changed, his energy shifted. It
6:58
Speaker 3: was a lot more negative than what he was in
7:00
Speaker 3: this bubbly personality that I had saw from him. Initially,
7:04
Speaker 3: it started to like make me question things a little bit.
7:06
Speaker 3: I was like, oh wow, I'm really noticing a contrast
7:08
Speaker 3: of like who you are with other people versus who
7:10
Speaker 3: you are behind closed doors. And I really noticed it
7:13
Speaker 3: when he would spend time like as he lived at home,
7:15
Speaker 3: is living with his mum, and we'd come home and
7:17
Speaker 3: have dinner or whatever, and we would sit on the
7:18
Speaker 3: lounge and he would sit and he would watch the
7:20
Speaker 3: news and he'd get into this really negative headspace and
7:23
Speaker 3: I don't know, he just like his energy shifted and
7:25
Speaker 3: like this bubbly personality, very optimistic kind of guy, and
7:28
Speaker 3: like outgoing outspoken person suddenly turned into someone who was
7:32
Speaker 3: very negative, very pessimistic, having all these things to say
7:36
Speaker 3: about the world and how life is fucked and the
7:38
Speaker 3: world is fucked, and didn't do that at start though
7:41
Speaker 3: I never saw any of that in the beginning. Were
7:43
Speaker 3: you intimate with him at this point, yes, yes, yes,
7:45
Speaker 3: at this point we had it, And I obviously know
7:48
Speaker 3: the story.
7:48
Speaker 1: You're just the.
7:49
Speaker 2: Context of people of like how attached he's gotten quickly. Yes,
7:53
Speaker 2: obviously if intimacy is involved, he's any more connected.
7:56
Speaker 3: I think in this dynamic guy had been intimate with
7:58
Speaker 3: him from three weeks on. Its Yeah, because it was
8:00
Speaker 3: just like we fell into it kind of thing, and
8:01
Speaker 3: it was one of those things that was like, yes,
8:05
Speaker 3: really beautiful at the time at the time, and then
8:08
Speaker 3: I started to notice that I can't even explain to you,
8:10
Speaker 3: like exact things that happened, but I just remember the
8:12
Speaker 3: way that I felt, and I remember questioning my experience.
8:16
Speaker 3: So we'd share our opinion on something and he'd be like, no,
8:18
Speaker 3: that didn't happen. It didn't happen like that. No, No,
8:21
Speaker 3: they didn't say that. And then what I noticed as well,
8:23
Speaker 3: it was in the things that he would say, you know,
8:26
Speaker 3: he'd have a conversation with me, relate it to somebody else,
8:28
Speaker 3: the exact thing that happened, but in a different way. Yeah,
8:31
Speaker 3: he'd add things onto the story or like change things
8:33
Speaker 3: about it and said that he did things that he
8:35
Speaker 3: didn't do, and I'd be like, wait, but no, you
8:36
Speaker 3: didn't do that. You didn't say that, you didn't show
8:39
Speaker 3: up like that. And then I'd think about and have
8:41
Speaker 3: a conversation with him behind closed doors and he'd.
8:43
Speaker 1: Be like, yeah, I did, Yeah I did. I didn't
8:46
Speaker 1: say that. I didn't do that.
8:47
Speaker 3: No I didn't, and like make me question my reality.
8:51
Speaker 3: And he was a strong personality, so at the time,
8:53
Speaker 3: I was very people pleaser, very people pleased, are very
8:57
Speaker 3: softly spoken, didn't want to upset anybody, and I wanted
8:59
Speaker 3: him to like me.
9:00
Speaker 1: And yeah, I just remember thinking, okay, like maybe it
9:03
Speaker 1: is me. Maybe it is me.
9:05
Speaker 3: And then there were a couple of things where we
9:06
Speaker 3: started to get into like little TIFFs as things would
9:08
Speaker 3: go on where I felt like I couldn't get any
9:10
Speaker 3: space from him, and I remember questioning my reality to
9:13
Speaker 3: the point where I would push back and be like, no,
9:16
Speaker 3: I know that this happened, and I'd start to get
9:18
Speaker 3: really fiery because I was questioning my own reality. It
9:20
Speaker 3: was making me feel crazy, and it was just little
9:23
Speaker 3: micro things, but it was multiple things starting to stack.
9:26
Speaker 3: It sounds starting to stack, and I didn't know how
9:30
Speaker 3: to kind of deal with that anyway. So you know,
9:32
Speaker 3: that kind of happened more to the point where I
9:35
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, I actually don't know if I want
9:36
Speaker 3: to spend more time with this man, because I remember
9:39
Speaker 3: having this one moment where I was like sitting on
9:41
Speaker 3: his couch at his mom's house and we were both
9:44
Speaker 3: watching the news, and he did or said something that
9:47
Speaker 3: he had this demeanor and this look in his eye
9:49
Speaker 3: when he was watching the news and said something about
9:52
Speaker 3: life in the world and how fucked people are and
9:54
Speaker 3: all this stuff, and I remember thinking to myself like, oh,
9:57
Speaker 3: and like my whole demeanor dropped, like you're a bit scared,
9:59
Speaker 3: like a bit scared, and I was like, oh my god,
10:01
Speaker 3: like this is not a good situation. And then he
10:04
Speaker 3: looked over it when he put his and on my
10:05
Speaker 3: leg and he was like, what's wrong, what's wrong?
10:07
Speaker 1: Be okay, what just happened?
10:09
Speaker 4: And I was like no, no, no, I'm fine. He's like,
10:10
Speaker 4: are you.
10:11
Speaker 3: Sure you're okay what happened? And I'm like no, no, no,
10:12
Speaker 3: I'm fine, I'm fine. And then I managed to leave
10:15
Speaker 3: that night and like go and think about it, and
10:17
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, I actually don't want to be
10:18
Speaker 3: with this man anymore, Like I don't think this is
10:20
Speaker 3: going to be good for me. I tried to break
10:22
Speaker 3: it off with him, and when I did, he sat
10:25
Speaker 3: with me the whole night at my house until like
10:28
Speaker 3: three o'clock.
10:28
Speaker 1: In the morning and just let you go.
10:30
Speaker 3: Wouldn't let me go, kept going back and forth, No,
10:33
Speaker 3: but we're so good together. But we're meant to be together.
10:35
Speaker 3: It's just you just need time and all of these things.
10:38
Speaker 3: He wouldn't let me break up with him, and I
10:40
Speaker 3: was like, I don't want to do this anymore, and
10:42
Speaker 3: he's like, no, you do.
10:43
Speaker 1: Like we're so.
10:44
Speaker 3: Good together with like the perfect couple. Look at us together,
10:47
Speaker 3: people love us together, and just all these things. And
10:49
Speaker 3: what I started to notice in him was that he
10:51
Speaker 3: had a lot of friends and was, you know, in
10:53
Speaker 3: all these big groups and stuff, but he cared more
10:55
Speaker 3: about how people perceived him than what was actually happening
10:59
Speaker 3: behind closed doors.
11:00
Speaker 2: So remember you sharing something about this story where I
11:03
Speaker 2: don't know if he would like put on a front
11:05
Speaker 2: that he was just this amazing part and twelve year
11:08
Speaker 2: round and like kiss you really passionately, Like.
11:10
Speaker 4: It was like a movie.
11:10
Speaker 2: It was a movie in front of everyone, but then
11:12
Speaker 2: when you got behind closed doors, that like dropped and
11:15
Speaker 2: you were like, what the fuck's going on?
11:16
Speaker 3: This is the contrast, is that he cared so much
11:20
Speaker 3: about how people perceived him, yeah, that he actually wasn't
11:23
Speaker 3: being who he was at all. And it was a front, babe,
11:25
Speaker 3: It was a front, and it was like this side
11:28
Speaker 3: it was. It was really jarring because I remember being
11:30
Speaker 3: like he obviously knew that, like I wanted the fairy tale,
11:34
Speaker 3: and we had spoke about how important these things were
11:36
Speaker 3: to me, so he would do all of these things right,
11:38
Speaker 3: so I'd get sucked into that, and then behind closed
11:40
Speaker 3: doors he'd be negative and not as loving and not
11:43
Speaker 3: as touchy and not as all of them just separate
11:45
Speaker 3: from me, and I'd be like, the contrast is actually
11:48
Speaker 3: giving me emotional whiplash. And I remember this one time
11:51
Speaker 3: we went to a Vango exhibition and I wore this
11:54
Speaker 3: beautiful white dress, like got my makeup done and he
11:56
Speaker 3: had like a full black outfit on. It was this beautiful,
11:59
Speaker 3: like whimsical moment, literally like what you would see from
12:01
Speaker 3: the movies. He started slow dancing with me, but then
12:04
Speaker 3: he started to notice that people started to pay attention.
12:06
Speaker 3: Then he started to spin me around and it made
12:08
Speaker 3: it a show. And then he would pull me out
12:09
Speaker 3: and spin me into him, and I was like in
12:12
Speaker 3: this like fucking getting whisked off my feet in this
12:14
Speaker 3: little like movie moment, right, thinking, oh my god, like
12:17
Speaker 3: this is so special, and then people like clapping and
12:20
Speaker 3: cheering and like it was this whole show that he
12:22
Speaker 3: had put on. And every time we went out it
12:25
Speaker 3: started to feel a little bit like, oh, he cares
12:26
Speaker 3: more about having a quote unquote trophy on his arm
12:29
Speaker 3: than it does about who's actually with him and actually
12:31
Speaker 3: creating a relationship and how she feels that's right. Yeah,
12:34
Speaker 3: I was just so jared by it. So anyway, I
12:36
Speaker 3: tried to break up with him. It didn't work, right.
12:38
Speaker 3: I just got to the point where he wore me
12:40
Speaker 3: down so much. At three in the morning, I'm sitting
12:44
Speaker 3: on the lounge with him. He's got his head in
12:46
Speaker 3: my lap, like no, like I love you, and like
12:48
Speaker 3: all these things instead I love you really soon, and
12:51
Speaker 3: not allowing me to do what I wanted to do.
12:53
Speaker 3: And I just got to the point where I was
12:55
Speaker 3: so exhausted by the conversation that I just gave up.
12:58
Speaker 3: I was like, he's literally wearing me down so thin
13:00
Speaker 3: that I'm like, you know what, fuck it, I'll just.
13:02
Speaker 1: Stay like this. I'm so ted.
13:05
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know what, You're right, And then he
13:06
Speaker 3: would convince me and get in my head and really
13:08
Speaker 3: position our dynamic is something that was really special and
13:12
Speaker 3: if we kept going, we could create something special together.
13:15
Speaker 3: And so as I was tired and also in this
13:17
Speaker 3: mindset of like, oh, you know what, like I'll just
13:19
Speaker 3: give it one more try, like there's no harm in trying,
13:22
Speaker 3: and then the same thing would happen again, and then
13:23
Speaker 3: the same thing would happen again. I question my reality,
13:26
Speaker 3: and then I get to this point where I remember
13:28
Speaker 3: standing in my garage with him going I didn't fucking
13:31
Speaker 3: say that, because he would try to convince me that
13:33
Speaker 3: I was saying and doing and behaving a certain way.
13:35
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not fucking crazy, Like I'm not crazy.
13:38
Speaker 3: It would used to like aggravate me because he would
13:41
Speaker 3: make me question everything that I sought about myself and
13:43
Speaker 3: my life. And I just remember getting in this really
13:46
Speaker 3: dark headspace and fearing telling my mom or my family
13:49
Speaker 3: and being like, something's not right here, but I don't
13:52
Speaker 3: know what. And then the second time and third time
13:54
Speaker 3: around came, I did the same thing. I tried to
13:56
Speaker 3: end things with him the exact same situation. Then it
13:59
Speaker 3: was we did it until four am in the morning.
14:01
Speaker 3: He wore me down again and I just was like fuck, okay,
14:03
Speaker 3: like I can't. But also the emotional turmoil of him
14:07
Speaker 3: positioning things is so beautiful in a fairy tale on
14:09
Speaker 3: this and that I got like swept up in that
14:11
Speaker 3: almost And then it happened again, and I kept trying
14:14
Speaker 3: to leave and he just wouldn't let me, to the
14:16
Speaker 3: point where the last time that happened, it was six
14:19
Speaker 3: am in the morning and it was all night. Babe,
14:21
Speaker 3: I'm constant the whole.
14:23
Speaker 2: My God, that it sounds gives me anxiety think about
14:25
Speaker 2: It's so stressful, to.
14:26
Speaker 3: The point where it was actually right before Christmas and
14:30
Speaker 3: it was Christmas Eve. Oh no, and I was like,
14:33
Speaker 3: I feel so guilty, but I need to break up
14:35
Speaker 3: with him.
14:36
Speaker 1: I need to actually do it.
14:37
Speaker 3: So I broke up with him on Christmas Eve and
14:39
Speaker 3: I did it via text message because I was like,
14:42
Speaker 3: I cannot do this again. I cannot be in another
14:44
Speaker 3: position with you in this way, and like, have you
14:46
Speaker 3: convinced me? And like me, I'll be strong enough in
14:48
Speaker 3: the moment to actually say no. So I did it
14:50
Speaker 3: over message. I was out in the front of his
14:52
Speaker 3: house while I did it. I dropped off his things
14:54
Speaker 3: as I sent the text message. It'd be conversation. He
14:57
Speaker 3: threatened going to a cliff and like saying all these
15:00
Speaker 3: things and being like I don't want to be here
15:02
Speaker 3: for I not together, and like you know, being like
15:05
Speaker 3: I'm going to go to this cliff if I don't answer,
15:08
Speaker 3: like you'll know why, and like all these things and
15:10
Speaker 3: just like dramatizing the situation to make me worry. And
15:13
Speaker 3: I remember at the time, I was actually working with
15:15
Speaker 3: a female coach and obviously was after hours, and I
15:18
Speaker 3: just messaged her and I was like, look, can I
15:19
Speaker 3: call you, Like it's like really urgent. I don't know
15:22
Speaker 3: what to do. This guy's threatening that he's going to
15:24
Speaker 3: do something to himself or whatever. And she'd kind of
15:27
Speaker 3: coach me through it, which was amazing. And then it
15:30
Speaker 3: wasn't until a year later that actually filed for that IVIO.
15:34
Speaker 3: Oh why here, Like yeah, So I ended up blocking him, separating, Okay, yeah,
15:39
Speaker 3: I moved on with my life. Probably six months later
15:41
Speaker 3: I found another partner. So this was a man that
15:43
Speaker 3: I met and was so beautiful, so lovely, and we
15:45
Speaker 3: had probably only like a six month relationship, but I
15:48
Speaker 3: had moved on at the time. After I ended things,
15:52
Speaker 3: he would go out and he would drink on a
15:54
Speaker 3: Saturday night and he would call me like ten times.
15:56
Speaker 3: I forgot this part, sorry, and he would call me
15:58
Speaker 3: ten times. So I would just keep blocking. Delete, delete, delete, delete,
16:01
Speaker 3: not answer, not answer whatever anyway. For a little while there,
16:04
Speaker 3: it kind of stopped. And then once I realized that
16:07
Speaker 3: I was actually with somebody else, he started to email me.
16:11
Speaker 3: Oh and it was like, you know, three months later,
16:13
Speaker 3: he sent me an email it was like Tiana, like
16:16
Speaker 3: how are you? I want to see you again? Can
16:18
Speaker 3: we meet up? I just want to have a conversation
16:20
Speaker 3: with you. I just want to talk with you. And
16:22
Speaker 3: then I didn't reply to that one, and then the
16:24
Speaker 3: next one, and then you know, I just saw my
16:27
Speaker 3: best friend and his wife open their children's presence on
16:30
Speaker 3: their birthday, and that could be us and I want
16:33
Speaker 3: this with you, and I imagine that being usd and
16:36
Speaker 3: it makes me tiary thinking about it. And then you know,
16:38
Speaker 3: the next Saturday night, I get thirty miss calls. And
16:41
Speaker 3: I remember it started to happen while I was with Levi,
16:44
Speaker 3: and he used to get really upset about it, right,
16:45
Speaker 3: because of course I noticed, Right, I had like three
16:48
Speaker 3: miss calls one Saturday night, and then the next Saturday
16:51
Speaker 3: night it was ten miss calls. And then I'd be like, oh,
16:54
Speaker 3: I don't get so frustrated my friend. I'd like, stop
16:56
Speaker 3: fucking calling me. And he's like, Tianna, what are you doing?
16:59
Speaker 3: Like what is wrong? Like who is calling you? And
17:01
Speaker 3: then I told him about the situation. And then there
17:04
Speaker 3: was more emails. There was relentless and then there was
17:08
Speaker 3: voice notes. Oh no, And I remember this one time
17:10
Speaker 3: I was laying in bed with Levi and he sent
17:12
Speaker 3: me this voice note, left a voice note after being
17:14
Speaker 3: drunk one night, and he was like, NA, like I
17:19
Speaker 3: love you, and I missed the way that your skin
17:21
Speaker 3: smells and like all these like I missed the way
17:24
Speaker 3: that your skin feels after you get out of the
17:25
Speaker 3: shower and the way that your hair smells when I
17:27
Speaker 3: touch your body, and like all these things, and I
17:29
Speaker 3: was just.
17:30
Speaker 1: Like oh, and like Levi.
17:32
Speaker 3: Is sitting next to me listening to this, like what
17:34
Speaker 3: the fuck are you talking about? And I just remember
17:37
Speaker 3: being so scared of not knowing what to do with
17:38
Speaker 3: it that I just left it. I was like delete, delete,
17:40
Speaker 3: delete the emails, whatever, more emails come, Why are you
17:44
Speaker 3: not replying to me like this and that? Like talk?
17:47
Speaker 3: And then there was one time I was going downstairs
17:50
Speaker 3: out of my house with Levi and my brother, and
17:52
Speaker 3: I look over into my letter box and there's a
17:54
Speaker 3: letter in a rose in a letter box, and I
17:56
Speaker 3: just my heart sank because I just knew. I just knew,
18:00
Speaker 3: and I went over and I pulled it out. I
18:02
Speaker 3: went upstairs and I read it, and it was a
18:04
Speaker 3: love letter from here him signed with his name, like
18:07
Speaker 3: I think about you all the time, and I miss
18:09
Speaker 3: the way that your skin smells, and like I want
18:11
Speaker 3: to be with you, and like can you please just
18:13
Speaker 3: reply to my emails because I just want to talk
18:16
Speaker 3: to you. We don't have to do anything, you don't
18:17
Speaker 3: have to make a decision right now. I just I
18:19
Speaker 3: want to be with you and I love you and
18:21
Speaker 3: I'll think about you for like it was really like
18:24
Speaker 3: like he was yearning for me kind of thing. And
18:26
Speaker 3: I don't remember believe I reading it and just being
18:28
Speaker 3: so angry and just being like, no, you need to
18:30
Speaker 3: fucking do something about this. Young he calls you all
18:33
Speaker 3: of the time, what are you going to do? Like
18:34
Speaker 3: he was getting so defensive, and obviously when this is
18:36
Speaker 3: happening to your partner, he just like, of course, you know,
18:39
Speaker 3: wanted to protect me and all the things. And the
18:42
Speaker 3: crazy thing is, as I was, I put it on
18:45
Speaker 3: the bench and I put the rose down and I
18:46
Speaker 3: looked at Nick, my brother, and he was like, oh
18:48
Speaker 3: my god, like is that from who I think it is?
18:50
Speaker 3: And I was like yeah, and then we opened it
18:52
Speaker 3: together and leave. I was like, you're fucking kidding me.
18:55
Speaker 3: He's like, I walked outside as I was walking in
18:58
Speaker 3: past a man who had slipped back hair well dressed,
19:01
Speaker 3: standing out the front of his car, out the front
19:03
Speaker 3: of your house and just leaning off against the cart
19:05
Speaker 3: looking up, and he's like, I thought it was really
19:07
Speaker 3: weird because I locked eyes with him and he just
19:09
Speaker 3: gave me this weird look he had this really weird
19:12
Speaker 3: energy about him. So he was like I actually walked
19:15
Speaker 3: straight past him and like we'd locked eyes and that
19:19
Speaker 3: was only like ten minutes ago.
19:20
Speaker 4: Oh creepy.
19:22
Speaker 3: And then it was like a constant thing, like he
19:25
Speaker 3: had come down and driven all the way an hour
19:26
Speaker 3: and a half from Sydney down to where I lived,
19:28
Speaker 3: to sit out in the front of my house and
19:31
Speaker 3: be like Tiana, like can you come down? I want
19:32
Speaker 3: to talk to you. And I'd literally be like, I'm
19:33
Speaker 3: going to send my dad down. I'm not coming down.
19:35
Speaker 4: When did you decide to go to the police?
19:37
Speaker 3: Is it that day after the rose and the letter
19:40
Speaker 3: and the voice note and the thirty miss calls and
19:42
Speaker 3: the voice note of how the way that he missed,
19:44
Speaker 3: the way that my skin smelt, oh you see, tills
19:49
Speaker 3: like it's so bad and like it's not even that
19:51
Speaker 3: like after four or six weeks.
19:52
Speaker 1: I was very early on very four weeks.
19:54
Speaker 3: He asked me one night, really subtly, after I tried
19:57
Speaker 3: to break up with him, like I want to put
19:58
Speaker 3: a baby in here.
19:59
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.
20:00
Speaker 3: This story just gets the us anyway, after I had
20:04
Speaker 3: broken up with him, this is another part of the story.
20:06
Speaker 3: Sorry to backtrack. I haven't spoken about this in a
20:09
Speaker 3: really long time. I'm still remembering all of all of
20:11
Speaker 3: the details. But after I had broke up with him,
20:13
Speaker 3: after he had said that he was going to hurt
20:15
Speaker 3: himself and stuff, we'd spoken a couple of days later
20:17
Speaker 3: and he'd kind of level headed and he was like,
20:20
Speaker 3: he made a book of our love and he's like,
20:22
Speaker 3: I wanted to give it to you for Christmas, so
20:23
Speaker 3: here goo and it's like a book made of our
20:25
Speaker 3: love story from the moment that we met and all
20:27
Speaker 3: these things. And then he was like, I also wanted
20:29
Speaker 3: to show you this. This is something I've been working on.
20:31
Speaker 3: And he created an Instagram account of our love from
20:35
Speaker 3: before we had met, so from around the time that
20:38
Speaker 3: we had started talking, literally four weeks before we had
20:41
Speaker 3: actually met. He had made a post from like a
20:43
Speaker 3: couple of days after we started talking and started posting
20:46
Speaker 3: on this private Instagram account photos of me and like
20:50
Speaker 3: screenshots of me on like our video calls and you know,
20:54
Speaker 3: messages from our chat on there being like the day
20:56
Speaker 3: I fell in love with you and we hadn't even
20:58
Speaker 3: met yet.
20:59
Speaker 4: He was obsessive from the start.
21:01
Speaker 3: From the start, but I didn't know that until I
21:02
Speaker 3: tried to break up with him and he just wouldn't
21:04
Speaker 3: let me.
21:05
Speaker 1: You wouldn't let me go.
21:06
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.
21:07
Speaker 3: And when I found this out, I got really really scared.
21:09
Speaker 3: That's actually sorry, that's the moment when I got the
21:11
Speaker 3: av O. When I found that out, I was like
21:13
Speaker 3: feeling really scared when I had learned this knowledge, because
21:17
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, now I'm starting to feel a
21:18
Speaker 3: little bit scared for my safety. And I feel scared
21:20
Speaker 3: because he's coming to my home and I don't know
21:22
Speaker 3: what he's going to do. And the fact that he's
21:24
Speaker 3: around my family and people that I love, I'm like,
21:26
Speaker 3: oh my god. And then the fact that he had
21:28
Speaker 3: driven to my house left the letter, left the note
21:30
Speaker 3: being like I want to see you. I miss the
21:32
Speaker 3: way that your skin smells. I was like, this is
21:35
Speaker 3: freaking me the fuck out, and I don't know what
21:37
Speaker 3: to do about it. And I just remember thinking like,
21:39
Speaker 3: what if he does something to Nick? What if he
21:40
Speaker 3: does something to Mum? What if he does something Dad?
21:42
Speaker 3: Like all the people that I love were in this place,
21:44
Speaker 3: and just like the skin part really made my skin
21:47
Speaker 3: crawluse I'm like, who says that? Oh?
21:50
Speaker 2: I can't say I've had someone say that to me.
21:52
Speaker 2: It's pretty creepy.
21:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, And there were a couple of other emails after
21:54
Speaker 3: that anyway, So obviously I had a conversation with LEVI.
21:58
Speaker 3: He was fucking raging, so angry and just like so
22:01
Speaker 3: worried for like my safety, and obviously this man contacted
22:04
Speaker 3: me all the time. So I ended up deciding after
22:08
Speaker 3: that that I would go down to the police station
22:10
Speaker 3: and I had the Instagram account from Our Love, and like,
22:14
Speaker 3: the shit that was on there was actually fucked. Like
22:15
Speaker 3: I remember showing the police officer the Instagram, the book
22:18
Speaker 3: of Our Love, the emails that he had sent. I
22:21
Speaker 3: had the voice message from when he said my skin
22:24
Speaker 3: smelt good, and all of the miscalls like from like
22:27
Speaker 3: my phone log for whatever you could see. I screenshot them,
22:30
Speaker 3: and yeah, I remember working with this one police officer
22:33
Speaker 3: and being like you should have come in sooner, Like
22:36
Speaker 3: things like this escalate really quickly and a lot of
22:38
Speaker 3: women get into really bad positions because of this, and
22:40
Speaker 3: he's like, we're not going to allow this to happen, Like,
22:43
Speaker 3: we're not going to allow.
22:44
Speaker 4: This to happen. So do they send it out?
22:46
Speaker 2: And I don't know how this works for does they
22:47
Speaker 2: send out an AVO to his letterbox? Did they go
22:49
Speaker 2: deliver it to him? Or like, how does he know
22:51
Speaker 2: that you've got an av out on him? And did
22:53
Speaker 2: he react respond contact to you?
22:54
Speaker 3: So what happened was you go into the police station
22:57
Speaker 3: and you write a report with a police officer and
23:00
Speaker 3: you give them all the details, you give them all
23:01
Speaker 3: the evidence. They write almost like a statement and like
23:04
Speaker 3: a docu human basically, and then what happens is a
23:07
Speaker 3: temporary protection or it gets put in place, and you
23:09
Speaker 3: can put it in immediately, and so it will go
23:12
Speaker 3: in immediately. They give the evidence. If they see that
23:14
Speaker 3: it's viable and it's actually worth putting in, they'll do that.
23:17
Speaker 3: And then within I think a week or within a
23:19
Speaker 3: couple of days, they have two police officers and deliver
23:22
Speaker 3: it to his house.
23:24
Speaker 1: And so that happened.
23:25
Speaker 3: And then I can't remember how, but he contacted me
23:28
Speaker 3: somehow and was like really upset that I had done that,
23:31
Speaker 3: because he was just like I just loved you so
23:32
Speaker 3: much and I didn't want to do anything to hurt you.
23:35
Speaker 3: I just wanted to love you and like all these things.
23:37
Speaker 3: And then after that I didn't hear anything, not one
23:39
Speaker 3: piece of whatever, because he could get trouble for it. Yes,
23:42
Speaker 3: because if you break the avio, you can get you
23:44
Speaker 3: can rest go to jail. Yes, it took like two
23:47
Speaker 3: years this av O because it kept getting pushed back
23:49
Speaker 3: and it took so long, and I went through this
23:50
Speaker 3: whole process of court, the police fought him whatever.
23:54
Speaker 4: So the protective thing is different to the avo.
23:57
Speaker 1: No, it's the same thing.
23:58
Speaker 4: So why did it take two years when you said
23:59
Speaker 4: it was immediate.
24:00
Speaker 1: Because they put a temporary order in place.
24:03
Speaker 4: Uh huh.
24:03
Speaker 3: But the court process, what's the goal of the avo.
24:07
Speaker 3: The goal is the avio is to make sure that
24:09
Speaker 3: he's not allowed within a certain amount of distance o
24:11
Speaker 3: me or my family or my family.
24:13
Speaker 4: Home, and the court has to approve that. That's what
24:15
Speaker 4: you're waiting for.
24:16
Speaker 3: No, the avio got approved, but the court was because
24:18
Speaker 3: he attested it, which means he fought it.
24:20
Speaker 1: Oh, so he was like, of course he did.
24:23
Speaker 3: He fought the avo, and so it was the police
24:26
Speaker 3: against him. And then because it took so long, it
24:29
Speaker 3: just was this process and it kept bringing it back up,
24:31
Speaker 3: and it just felt like it was something that I
24:32
Speaker 3: really wanted to let go of and after the AVA
24:35
Speaker 3: was put in place, he actually never contacted me again,
24:37
Speaker 3: so it was kind of fine after that and he
24:39
Speaker 3: just let things go. Yeah. I remember having to go
24:43
Speaker 3: to court a few times and it kept getting pushed
24:45
Speaker 3: back because he didn't show up or he didn't have
24:47
Speaker 3: the documents or something like that. And that happened three times, mate,
24:50
Speaker 3: And every single time I would go to court and
24:52
Speaker 3: I'd have to literally sit on the stand and testify
24:55
Speaker 3: and like talk in front of him whilst he was
24:56
Speaker 3: in the room, and I just remember getting so anxious
24:59
Speaker 3: and just being like, I can't fucking do this. So
25:01
Speaker 3: the third time that it happened, I actually ended up
25:04
Speaker 3: pulling the and I ended up withdrawing the AVO because
25:08
Speaker 3: he kept not coming to court and stuff like that,
25:10
Speaker 3: and it was delaying for so long, and I guess
25:13
Speaker 3: after a while, I was just like, Okay, like he
25:15
Speaker 3: hasn't said anything, he hasn't contacted me, I don't get
25:17
Speaker 3: any emails, he doesn't call me and leave fucking breathe
25:19
Speaker 3: into the phone anymore. Yeah, So I was like, okay,
25:21
Speaker 3: I'm just going to like cancel the in I just
25:23
Speaker 3: like I withdrew the AVIO after two years, and then
25:25
Speaker 3: I didn't have to go to court and speak on
25:27
Speaker 3: the stand, and I never heard from him again.
25:29
Speaker 4: Have you ever been tended to look up with social
25:31
Speaker 4: media a stork?
25:33
Speaker 3: I think that I know, not his social media because
25:35
Speaker 3: I believe I'm blocked.
25:36
Speaker 1: Oh okay, but I.
25:38
Speaker 3: Just remember like googling his name once to see what
25:40
Speaker 3: he was doing.
25:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was it.
25:42
Speaker 1: Oh, I just found old photos of him. That was it.
25:44
Speaker 1: And then after that I never looked again.
25:45
Speaker 4: What a story. Oh my goodness.
25:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was wild.
25:49
Speaker 3: It was. I can't even tell you the way how
25:52
Speaker 3: much I questioned myself in that short period of time.
25:54
Speaker 3: And I remember telling my mum afterwards and being like,
25:56
Speaker 3: I knew that something was wrong. She's like, Danna, why
25:58
Speaker 3: didn't you say something? And I was like, I was
26:00
Speaker 3: just trying to figure things out on my own, and
26:03
Speaker 3: I couldn't put to words what I was feeling.
26:06
Speaker 4: You weren't quite sure what was happening.
26:07
Speaker 1: No, I didn't know.
26:08
Speaker 3: But I honestly got to a point where I was like,
26:09
Speaker 3: I don't trust my own judgment anymore, because he's making
26:12
Speaker 3: me question the things that feel real for me and
26:14
Speaker 3: making me believe that, you know, something happened the day.
26:17
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and it just happened for like the whole
26:19
Speaker 3: eight weeks.
26:21
Speaker 1: Ah ow yeah, oh my.
26:23
Speaker 2: Story stalker, creepy, obsessive. But right from the get goat
26:27
Speaker 2: know who created that Instagram page? Like before you'd even met,
26:30
Speaker 2: you had known that it would have been massive red flags.
26:34
Speaker 1: And then I said to my cousin's husband, I was like,
26:36
Speaker 1: why the fuck did you not warn me?
26:38
Speaker 2: Yeah? Did they not know a little bit about his
26:40
Speaker 2: personality and like traits?
26:42
Speaker 3: Well, what I had learned was that they were more
26:43
Speaker 3: like party friends. They would go at festivals together and like,
26:46
Speaker 3: so they had events.
26:47
Speaker 1: They go to.
26:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he puts on a show in front of
26:50
Speaker 3: the peace right and I was like, you have no
26:52
Speaker 3: idea what he's like behind closed doors, because he's not
26:54
Speaker 3: the person he presents.
26:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's wild, holy shit, scary.
26:58
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing, and hopefully like anyone listening is
27:01
Speaker 2: just like, okay, red flags look out for Yeah, honestly,
27:04
Speaker 2: you would not want to go for that again or
27:05
Speaker 2: have any of your girlfriends go through that.
27:07
Speaker 3: I think this is just part of the reason why,
27:09
Speaker 3: like you can just have your wits about you. Of course, Well,
27:12
Speaker 3: just pay attention observe, like observe the pas. Yeah, the
27:15
Speaker 3: person that's in front of you and the person who
27:17
Speaker 3: you're getting to know, especially if you don't know them
27:19
Speaker 3: and you don't know anybody who knows them. I think
27:22
Speaker 3: it's really important to just pay attention to these things
27:24
Speaker 3: because again, spial really quickly, and I'm very lucky to
27:26
Speaker 3: not have had anything else happen. Yeah, that's as far
27:29
Speaker 3: as it went for me, whereas well, some women are
27:31
Speaker 3: not as lucky.
27:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to see how they are in front of
27:34
Speaker 2: people compared to how they're with you behind closed doors,
27:36
Speaker 2: like that contrast is a huge red flag to me, like, oh.
27:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's scary.
27:40
Speaker 3: It's a huge like textbook narcissist. And I remember, like
27:43
Speaker 3: I'm very mindful of who I call a narcissist, because
27:45
Speaker 3: I think people throw that word around really loosely. But
27:48
Speaker 3: I remember reading like narcissistic abuse books and stuff like
27:51
Speaker 3: that to try to understand what was happening psychologically for
27:54
Speaker 3: me in that time and just being like, wow, I'm
27:56
Speaker 3: so glad at the time that I was able to
27:58
Speaker 3: clock it, and a part of my intuition was like no, no, no,
28:00
Speaker 3: like something about this is not right I need to.
28:02
Speaker 1: Listen to that.
28:03
Speaker 4: It's funny.
28:04
Speaker 2: Before you said now, I said, I just had a
28:06
Speaker 2: flashback of like my stepdad. Yeah, he would put on
28:08
Speaker 2: a show in front everyone else, but then behind clothes,
28:10
Speaker 2: I was like, in front of people, look like the
28:12
Speaker 2: best dad ever, And in the moment he were at home,
28:14
Speaker 2: it's like it's a completely different person. Yeah, wild scary.
28:18
Speaker 2: It's so scary.
28:19
Speaker 1: How emotionally jarring is that?
28:21
Speaker 2: Yeah?
28:21
Speaker 1: And then you're like, oh, but this is good. But
28:23
Speaker 1: then you're like, but that's bad.
28:25
Speaker 2: I remember as a little girl, I'd be like, oh
28:26
Speaker 2: my gosh, she loves me. He loves me today and
28:28
Speaker 2: I get home and it's like a totally different story.
28:30
Speaker 2: I'm like, what the fuck happened from the drive home
28:33
Speaker 2: to because I didn't know what a narcissist was and
28:35
Speaker 2: I was just like so confused. It's like every day
28:38
Speaker 2: on eggshell's like what personality are we going to get today?
28:41
Speaker 2: I'm turning on who's around. And if my friends came around,
28:45
Speaker 2: you'd be so nice and like over the top generous,
28:47
Speaker 2: give them money and like you guys need a ride,
28:50
Speaker 2: and like so nice and you talk about your said,
28:52
Speaker 2: that's amazing I'm like, no, he's not like to you girls,
28:57
Speaker 2: he is, but like almost made me look like a liar.
28:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could see how that would make you feel
29:01
Speaker 1: like that too.
29:02
Speaker 2: And then I would get confused, like you were with
29:04
Speaker 2: this stalking guy, because it's.
29:05
Speaker 4: Like, am I is it me?
29:06
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like what am I in the wrong? Yeah?
29:08
Speaker 4: Like, God, are they right?
29:09
Speaker 2: He's really nice. He just gave them money and off
29:11
Speaker 2: to take us here, and yeah, maybe it's me.
29:14
Speaker 3: And you know, we've had this conversation around triangulation, which
29:16
Speaker 3: is a narcissistic abuse tactic or an abuse tactic or
29:20
Speaker 3: something like that where people use other people as evidence
29:23
Speaker 3: to make you feel wrong. He used to do that
29:25
Speaker 3: to me, so because he had like all of these
29:27
Speaker 3: people in his life who thought the world of him
29:29
Speaker 3: and would spoke so highly of him.
29:30
Speaker 1: He'd be like, I had a.
29:32
Speaker 3: Conversation with this person about this, and they said that
29:33
Speaker 3: you're in the wrong. They said this about you, they
29:35
Speaker 3: think that you're this is this. It's not a nice
29:38
Speaker 3: feel because you feel gamed up on. That happened too before.
29:41
Speaker 3: It's awful, Like once you see it, though, it's easy
29:43
Speaker 3: to spot it is, and then when you see like no, no, no,
29:45
Speaker 3: we're not doing that here.
29:46
Speaker 2: Once you're study narcissism, and it's actually like I think
29:48
Speaker 2: it's five different types of narcissist too. Oh wow, Steve,
29:52
Speaker 2: and I learned about last ye. I can't remember exactly
29:53
Speaker 2: and of your whole episode, but there's actually different types
29:55
Speaker 2: of narcissist and different traits and behaviors of them. Yeah, okay,
29:58
Speaker 2: it's like once you learn them, you can see them
29:59
Speaker 2: from a mile away. It's cool because then you just
30:02
Speaker 2: know you wouldn't get too close. But also you have
30:04
Speaker 2: to learn how to like play with them. Yeah, like
30:06
Speaker 2: you can't feed them. Does that sound it sounds it
30:09
Speaker 2: sounds fucked up. But you can't reason with the narcissist.
30:11
Speaker 2: They truly believe everything they say and they're never at
30:14
Speaker 2: fault and you're always the villain. So you have to
30:17
Speaker 2: learn how to like almost be a bit of chameleon,
30:19
Speaker 2: to like play their games so you don't get sucked
30:21
Speaker 2: into their behavior.
30:22
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I remember with this man as well, whenever
30:26
Speaker 3: I would contact him to tell him to stop, he
30:28
Speaker 3: would do it more. It was like I gave him
30:31
Speaker 3: a little bit, I gave him an inch, and.
30:32
Speaker 1: He took it a mile yet feel him.
30:33
Speaker 3: It's like, oh I got a response out of her,
30:35
Speaker 3: even if it wasn't in a positive way. So I
30:37
Speaker 3: remember thinking like I just have to ignore it. Ignore it,
30:40
Speaker 3: ignore it, ignore it. And then that's when I got
30:42
Speaker 3: the av O because I was like, obviously, this ignoring
30:44
Speaker 3: is not working.
30:44
Speaker 1: He kept going, kept.
30:45
Speaker 3: Going, literally thirty miscalls on a Saturday night at one
30:48
Speaker 3: o'clock in the morning, babe, wake me up in the
30:49
Speaker 3: middle of the night, and then it would wake up
30:52
Speaker 3: Levi and he would just rage because he'd just be like,
30:54
Speaker 3: this is fucking not okay, Tiana, like you've got to
30:56
Speaker 3: do something about.
30:57
Speaker 1: This, and I was like, kind of what to do?
30:58
Speaker 4: I'm scared. Oh my gosh, so scary, so scary. Glad
31:03
Speaker 4: you're out of that one, me too. Goodness.
31:05
Speaker 2: But thanks for listening always, always, And if you guys
31:08
Speaker 2: have a this is a I'm sure there's women listening
31:10
Speaker 2: they are like, oh my god, I'm in a situation
31:12
Speaker 2: like this is something you guys could bring into the
31:13
Speaker 2: bestie submission as well. Absolutely, you might relate to this
31:16
Speaker 2: or want to ask questions of you know, how you
31:18
Speaker 2: handle different situations.
31:19
Speaker 4: Thanks for sharing my pleasure.
31:21
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to my personal life stories.
31:23
Speaker 2: If you guys have a bestie submission as well, we'll
31:26
Speaker 2: leave a link in the description box below. Otherwise, dm
31:28
Speaker 2: us on Instagram and that's when you can submit them
31:30
Speaker 2: sound Otherwise, we'll see you next Monday.
31:32
Speaker 1: Alrighty bye, ladies,