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Unlock Mind-Blowing Orgasms at Any Age with Susan Bratton's Secrets · Libido Lounge

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  Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido.
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  We believe that fabulous sex is important to health and exercise and good food.
• 0:19
  Hey, everybody.
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  Welcome back to another episode on the lounge.
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  I'm so excited to bring on Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions.
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  Susan and I have had the fortune of meeting each other a couple times on Summit.
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  I got to spend New Year's with her, and we have the best episode for you guys today.
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  We're gonna talk about difficulty orgasming, how we can overcome this, really how we can
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  focus more and more and more on our pleasure, the differences between women and men, and so
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  much more.
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  So welcome, Susan.
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  So happy to have this conversation with you.
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  Oh, it's so nice to see you again, doctor Diane.
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  We've been friends for quite a few years now and done quite a few things together.
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  I think I met you first by doing a book blurb for you.
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  You did.
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  That was the first thing.
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  I was introduced you to write the bad commentary on my book.
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  You sent it to your daughter, and then we've been bouncing around each other since.
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  So so fun.
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  I love it.
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  Good to see you again, and I'm glad you I'm glad that you wanna talk about orgasm because,
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  you know, I would say that if there's anything that I have thought about the most of my life,
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  it's orgasms.
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  I study them.
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  It is my primary interest.
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  And it's interesting because I like to call myself an orgasm and not, I imagine myself in a
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  silver Lamae jumpsuit out at the furthest regions of the most exquisite pleasure,
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  learning how to have different kinds of orgasms and hold incredible amounts of sensation in my
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  body and surrendering into it with a level of heart connection to my lovers, with a level of
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  turn on with myself and with a level of connection to what I, what I call source or
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  Gaia, that connection to all of us as humanity.
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  So my orgasm is something that I consider to be a very alive part of my life, an evolving,
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  maturing, expanding fireball of pleasure and joy that really fuels so much of what I do.
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  And I went at now I'm 62.
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  I'll be 63 next month.
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  I'm having the best orgasms of my life.
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  Amazing sex.
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  And at 42, I started on the journey of learning how to have orgasms because I could only have
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  one orgasm using my twenty years ago, rabbit vibrator.
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  And I almost got divorced because I didn't want to have sex with my husband because I wasn't
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  orgasming from intercourse.
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  And I had intercourse with him for twelve years and never had an orgasm and just was really
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  just disillusioned by it all.
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  And it almost ruined my life and my marriage I've been with him thirty two years.
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  Now we have sex that keeps getting better.
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  I have 20 different kinds of orgasms and it's what I love to teach people to do.
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  And there's so many myths and misunderstandings about it.
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  That what I love about giving people information about their orgasmic potential is
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  that when I tell them things and they go, oh, oh, I didn't realize that was what it was.
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  It's like an instant change.
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  There are so many things where it's like, I just was working under misinformation.
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  And now that I know what to do, I'm having orgasms.
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  And so that's what's so nice about it.
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  It's very rewarding, for me and for the person having all the orgasms.
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  Like, there's so much hope in what you just said because I know we have people listening
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  that are listening like, oh my gosh.
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  She's in 20 different types of orgasms.
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  Like, I would just like to have one.
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  Yeah.
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  Right?
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  And so and there there's so much hope in in explaining that.
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  Like, where does somebody that either has never had an orgasm or is like, well, okay.
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  You they have this orgasm in, like, one type of way like you're describing, and it is just like
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  it's something.
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  It's not really, like, that exciting.
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  It's not very motivating.
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  Like, what what do you have to say to that?
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  Just from a standpoint of, like, encouraging people that are in that that camp.
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  Yeah.
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  When I talk about the 20 kinds of orgasms, I the last thing I wanna do is have people be
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  discouraged.
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  What I want you to understand is that there are many, many paths to orgasm.
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  What I like to call orgasmic cross training.
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  And essentially, once you start getting one path to orgasm, you can spin up more paths so
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  that almost everything can make you come after a while.
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  And there's a couple of different things that you need to know to.
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  So, so put aside the discouragement that you've had, and let's talk about orgasmic activation
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  because it's very similar.
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  So you have, let's just talk about the three.
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  I'm gonna take you through a couple of big picture things.
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  There's three kinds of orgasms.
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  There's locations to touch your clitoris, your g spot, your nipples, things like that.
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  There are orgasmic techniques like erotic hypnosis, where you can orgasm from the sig the
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  verbal suggestion of it.
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  That's a pretty interesting one or expanded orgasms, which is a practice, a clitoral
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  stroking practice that I've been practicing for decades that has helped me really become
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  orgasmic in a lot of other ways as well that uses a five stroke technique.
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  It's like a a yoga form or any kind of thing that you're doing to the operating system of
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  your body to elicit a specific response.
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  In this case, an orgasm that is stretched out where time is like taffy.
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  And when you have the orgasm, it's not just this fleeting little moment.
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  It's this really long, pleasurable orgasmic sensation.
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  That's the, you know, the kind of the, the strategies, the technologies, if you will.
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  And then the third is objects of desire and objects of desire could be anything that turns
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  you on.
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  But one of my favorite categories for orgasmic cross training, learning how to activate all
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  these different parts of your body so that they all kind of come online and become orgasmic is
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  using sex tools.
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  I don't think they're toys because I'm not playing around Diane.
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  They are tools, tools of pleasure.
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  And it turns out that for the female body, there are eight types of tools that you can use
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  to activate the different parts of your body so that you can have different kinds of orgasms
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  and lots of stuff makes you come as you get better and better at it.
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  So orgasms are a learned skill.
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  There are lots of kinds of them.
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  You can have more and more of them as you activate different areas.
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  One link I want to give you right now is to orgasmiccrosstraining.com because
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  orgasmiccrosstraining has the eight tools for the female body and the four tools for the male
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  body that help you achieve all of these different kinds of orgasms.
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  So what's nice is that you can use the tools in solo pleasuring to wake up that mind body
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  connection, which is the next piece I wanna introduce to this.
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  And then when you're with a partner, it's much easier to have orgasms with or without the
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  tools, because you've had, you've created the neural pathways.
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  So one of my friends, Doctor.
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  Nan wise, she recently wrote a book called why good sex matters.
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  And she's a neuroscientist slash therapist, sexual therapist.
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  And she's done a great amount of work, clinical research by putting women in MRIs and
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  stimulating different parts of their body and noticing that it lights up different parts of
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  our brain.
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  So there are a lot of parts of our body that can be orgasmic.
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  And if you're not currently having orgasms from stimulating certain areas, like, I can orgasm
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  from clitoral stimulation, but I can't orgasm from, penile penetration.
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  I can orgasm from, you know, from intercourse, but I can't orgasm when my g spot is pleasured.
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  I have never experienced female ejaculation or it happens to me every time I have sex.
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  People have different halves that they've kind of figured out or honed, but the other ones can
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  just be added right in over time by stimulating the different parts of your genital system and
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  other erogenous zones, like core gasms from your belly, foot gasms, oral gasms, throat
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  gasms, nipple gasms, and breast gasms.
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  These are all erogenous zones that can be highly orgasmic.
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  So I didn't used to have any kind of orgasm, but the one and done clitoral kind of, and that
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  was it.
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  And the thing is that we've been really under what I would call patriarchal sexuality mores,
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  and still using things like the old nineteen sixties Masters and Johnson's concept of
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  orgasm, which is really tied much more to a male ejaculatory orgasm, a one and done, when
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  actually all bodies, including male bodies, penis owning bodies, are massively multi
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  orgasmic from lots of stimulation.
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  So when you touch a location in your body and you you think to yourself, it feels numb or it
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  feels painful or it feels shameful instead of pleasurable.
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  All I want you to know right now is that you can transform, act to act, activate, awaken the
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  pleasure by giving it loving touch that over time, when you approach your orgasm as
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  expanding your sensation and the mind body connection and bringing in some of the, the,
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  the extra reinforcements that you might need.
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  And we can talk about what those are, the extra reinforcements to kind of activate the orgasm
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  so that once you have it, you can start having them reliably.
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  That's really a good way to think about it is that the female body is massively multi
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  orgasmic and she learns more over time as you begin to play with her.
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  I love it.
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  It and I think where I wanna go.
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  I wanna come back to the extra enforcements because I think that's important, but I also
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  wanna bring up this whole thing that I I see happen so much time, which is, like, orgasmic
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  pressure.
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  Right?
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  Where it's like, there is this discrepancy between the, you know, Rosemary Basson's
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  arousal, you know, model arousal and the Masters and Johnson and other models out there.
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  But I think it's led to this cultural thing where there's this destination and men
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  oftentimes and partners in general, not just men.
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  We have this desire to provide pleasure to our partners.
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  Right?
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  That's just a, I think, a human thing.
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  And so with orgasm, there can be, like, a pressure for one partner to be like, oh, I
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  wanna make sure the other partner orgasms because I don't wanna provide that person
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  pleasure.
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  And then on that receiving end, it can be more like, well, I wanna make sure I get to orgasm
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  in part because I wanna experience it, but also I want to that other person to know they did a
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  good job for me.
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  And it's just pressure, pressure, pressure around orgasm.
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  So how do we get out of that?
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  How do we break down, like, the orgasmic pressure that comes, I think, bidirectionally
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  in couples?
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  Yeah.
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  It's called performance anxiety, and it affects everyone.
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  We all worry.
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  But the more that you learn to have orgasms, the more confident you get that they're going
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  to happen.
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  The more that you understand that it's not something that you can affect, but instead that
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  it's something that you allow.
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  I think that's a big difference as well is that all of your orgasms are in there and they want
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  to come out like a well spring.
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  A beautiful cool spring is just bursting from the earth and flowing out.
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  That's how they work.
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  Your you don't have to go in there and stick a pipe down in the earth and suck orgasms out.
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  You can actually just allow them to come up.
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  And I like to call that birthing your orgasm, which is much less about squeezing down and
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  trying and more about opening and allowing.
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  And so that's a nice little reframe as well.
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  There's another thing that I wanted to say too, which was that I will tell you if I had a
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  nickel for every person who said to me, don't don't sex toys make it more difficult for you
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  to orgasm if you don't have one?
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  Don't they desensitize you?
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  I think that goes back to, religious repressed patriarchal cultural mores again that we're
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  trying to break free of as women.
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  And, no, in fact, it's the opposite.
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  And as a matter of fact, the newest toy that it's funny.
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  I have it right here.
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  The newest toy that I'm working with, I work with a company called Fun Factory quite a bit.
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  I'm a I'm a one of their, you know, fairly important influencers.
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  And they they just launched this new toy called the Sundays.
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  I can have one sent to you if you'd like me to.
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  And what I like about it is that they are now, designing this particular tool to simulate
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  three different types of, nerve endings.
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  Something called Merkle's discs, something called Pacinian corpuscles, and another one
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  called Ruffini endings.
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  And the way that they're doing that is they're actually taking this toy and they part of it is
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  penetrating vibration, part of it is tapping vibration.
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  And part of it is how you use it on the body.
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  And so tools are getting very sophisticated.
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  And what happens is that when you use a toy and I'll show you Diane, I know we're really on
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  audio, but I will show you that I sitting next to me, I have my mother's crystal candy bowl
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  full of all these cross training toys that are at Orgasmic Cross Training.
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  All the toys I recommend from all the different categories, the air stimulators, the liquors,
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  the g spots, the thrusters, the rabbits, and the wand.
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  The wand doesn't fit in my bowl, but it's right here.
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  And what's important to understand is that each one of these is actually stimulating different
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  parts of the vulvovaginal area.
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  And so what's happening as you're tapping, thrusting, licking, sucking all these areas is
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  that your brain is going, Oh.
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  Oh.
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  Oh, I feel that.
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  Oh, do I like that?
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  And this is where you get into the adding in the other components piece of having more
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  orgasmic capacity where all of a sudden you're laying down these neural pathways, and your
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  body is like, oh, I I yeah.
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  I like that.
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  Oh, that feels good.
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  Oh, oh, that's nice.
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  And pretty soon you're starting to have orgasms from all kinds of different locations that
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  you're stimulating, in the, in, in your genital anatomy.
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  Because though the tip of the clitoris, of course, has the 10,000 nerve endings, it has
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  little arms, it has big legs, it has a clitoral body, it has a urethral sponge, it has a
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  perineal sponge, it has vaginal mucosal lining, It has the cervical area as what was your
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  friend who just did a good, that good episode about the cervical orgasms?
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  Jamie Thompson, Jamie Thompson.
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  She was really good.
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  If you didn't listen to that episode of Diane's show, go back and listen to Jamie.
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  I thought that was very nice.
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  She did a really good job.
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  And so what's great about it is that these tools.
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  Stimulate the signals to the brain.
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  So the brain wakes up and then they start to light up more and more, and then it starts to
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  feel really good.
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  And then all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, you're knocking down
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  all these kinds of orgasms.
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  They're flowing out of you.
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  You have less performance anxiety.
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  You enter into a lovemaking date confident that it's simply a matter of time.
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  Diane, I wanted to tell you about a love making date I had yesterday.
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  Just tell me story.
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  Yeah.
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  Tell me story.
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  AI?
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  Please.
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  So yesterday afternoon, the sunlight was streaming into my bed.
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  I'd gone on a bike ride with my lover, and we had taken a shower, and we laid down on the bed
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  right in the swath of the sunshine.
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  And I said, can you rub some of this THC pain cream on my chest where I I got some sunburn
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  because my bikini top was lower than the last one I wore the other day.
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  And sure, sweetheart, I can do that.
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  And then I said, could you rub this mother butter into my my thighs, my shins, and my
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  arms?
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  Sure.
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  Baby.
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  And then I said, could you rub this awaken arousal loyal on my whole vulva all the way out
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  to my groin, even including my moms and down kind of almost my perineum, but don't go inside
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  just all on the outside.
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  Sure.
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  Precious.
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  Let me do that for you.
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  How's that?
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  Does it feel good?
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  Yes.
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  And then I said, okay, could you use the breast oil now?
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  And could you rub it on my breasts?
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  And could you play with my boobs and my nipples?
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  And could we make out now?
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  And he said, of course, I'd love to do that.
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  And so, you know, so, one guy would be like, well, he certainly takes direction well.
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  You basically just bossing him around, but my boyfriend would never think about that.
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  What are the benefits for him?
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  Well, she always tells me exactly what she needs to surrender to her pleasure.
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  She always has new ideas for fun.
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  I love that every time we make love her body wants something different and she's so tuned
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  into it that she knows what it is.
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  And she just tells me, so I don't have to guess.
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  And I love how relaxing it is to be with her.
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  There's never any rush.
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  She takes her time and allows herself to get turned on at the pace that is whatever her body
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  is telling her that day.
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  And it just calms me down too because I don't have performance anxiety because she doesn't
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  have performance anxiety.
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  And I always love to give her so many orgasms.
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  I love how responsive she is.
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  And we kept going with that date.
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  But I think that for a lot of women, just hearing a story like that, where it would be
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  okay for them to ask for anything and everything that they want in the moment in an
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  ongoing conversation throughout every love making date is still a very foreign thing.
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  And I just want women to feel like there is not only nothing wrong with that.
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  That's what makes sex great because we are different every moment of every day.
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  We run with the moon, and the moon waxes and wanes and changes us from kitty cats to to
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  lionesses in any given moment.
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  And so we could start off feeling like really far from our pleasure or super turned on and
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  ready to go.
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  But until we really listen to ourselves and we use these lips to speak for these lips, we
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  can't really get to that full, you know, relaxation and the and having no performance
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  anxiety.
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  And I think that's one of the biggest tips is just what does she want?
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  What does your body want?
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  Listen to her and speak for her in all moments.
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  I love that.
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  And the other thing I wanna point out when you said that I think is so important is that that
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  allowing her to become turned on.
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  Right, versus like, okay.
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  We are going right into intercourse in this moment.
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  Live it up.
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  Go right in.
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  And that thing that winds up happening versus saying, like, oh, it's okay if she needs an
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  hour today.
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  She might need seven minutes tomorrow.
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  Like, there's there's that flexibility.
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  And and I also think there's so much to be said about from that safety perspective around,
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  like, if we can speak in from a standpoint of being self advocates, it does oftentimes lead
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  to that relaxation of our erogenous zones and and that allowing of that orgasm to occur.
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  So I just love all of that.
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  I I know we're running out of time today.
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  So my question for you is around this concept of orgasm, what is, like, one final thing that
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  you think we absolutely need to say today that we would just be completely amiss if we did
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  not?
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  Yeah.
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  I was thinking that we promised the, you know, what are the other things you can do to help
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  yourself come to orgasm?
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  I think that's what we should talk about to close now.
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  The very first thing so a lot of solo pleasuring with toys.
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  I recommend that.
• 23:17
  You don't have there's it's been you use an oral irrigator.
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  You use a toothbrush.
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  You use an instant pot.
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  You drive a car.
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  Use toys.
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  Fill up your pleasure chest with the orgasmic whatever ones you want out of the orgasmic
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  cross training or whatever looks good for you.
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  It's just nice to see the categories.
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  You could be like, oh, I'd like to try an air stimulator.
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  Oh, I'd like to try a thruster, you know, whatever it might be.
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  And the second thing is you can double up on toys.
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  You can triple up on toys.
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  You can put a a little booty plug in.
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  You can put a thruster or a dildo inside you or a g spot wand.
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  You can add a wand or a vibrator or an air stimulator on your clitoris.
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  Load them up, girls.
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  Ain't no shame in coming super well, super long, super hard, and lots and lots.
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  That's another thing.
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  This the third thing is I have a a pleasure protocol that I recommend, and I'll send you
• 24:16
  some, Diane.
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  I I'm sorry.
• 24:17
  I didn't think to send this to you earlier.
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  But, it's, three products.
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  I'll show it to you.
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  I'll get I'll get your address so I can send it to you.
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  There's an awake and arousal oil, and then and that goes on the outer vulva.
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  That's what my boyfriend put on me.
• 24:34
  And then there's melts.
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  Those go inside the vagina, and it's cocoa butter, CBD, and botanicals that melts
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  intravaginally.
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  They also have non CBD versions, by the way.
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  It's all at pleasureprotocol.com.
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  And those really feel very nice for intercourse, and CBD activates the mind body
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  connection, which is what you're going for.
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  The reason your brain is your biggest sex organ is that it's what processes stimulation into
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  pleasurable sensation.
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  It tells you it feels good.
• 25:06
  You gotta get the mind going with the vulva and the CBD uses the endocannabinoid system to do
• 25:14
  just that.
• 25:15
  It's their hormones, signaling hormones.
• 25:18
  And then the third one is Dexoil for as much glide and glide as you want when you make love
• 25:24
  or anytime that you're just wanting a good yoni massage or what have you.
• 25:29
  And they work together really well.
• 25:31
  So add those in.
• 25:33
  So you're getting that activation.
• 25:36
  The awaken is almost like a pre lubricant and then do nipple stimulation while you're using
• 25:45
  the tools on your genitals, because your mouth and your nipples and breasts are a three legged
• 25:53
  stool of your arousal.
• 25:56
  And your arousal is not just direct stimulation, it's full body stimulation.
• 26:01
  So getting, and remember, even if you think to yourself, well, my breasts aren't very
• 26:05
  sensitive.
• 26:06
  My nipples aren't very sensitive.
• 26:08
  I didn't have nipple orgasms until I started pleasuring my nipples.
• 26:12
  Now I can come and come and come just for my nipples being touched ever so slightly.
• 26:21
  And it's amazing.
• 26:23
  And it gets your vulva, your internal erectile tissue, the three erectile tissue systems of
• 26:31
  the vulva, which is as big as all the erectile tissue in the penis, it's just in three little
• 26:38
  compartments, it it starts to get the blood flow from the inside out rather than just
• 26:43
  expecting everything to come from the outside in.
• 26:46
  So it gives you a deep, really nice engorgement.
• 26:49
  Engorgement is where the blood flows in.
• 26:52
  It expands the erectile tissue.
• 26:54
  It creates more surface area, which then when it's stimulated, sends more pleasure signals to
• 27:00
  your brain to register more pleasure.
• 27:02
  So that woman who's like, I don't, I can't really, I can't really, it doesn't feel like
• 27:06
  much.
• 27:06
  I feel like that's lack of engorgement.
• 27:11
  And so stimulating the other areas and then fantasy think the dirtiest things you can think
• 27:19
  of the taboo things, the things you'd never even tell me.
• 27:23
  And everybody tells me everything.
• 27:25
  Think those dirty, dirty thoughts that turn you up because fantasy is healthy.
• 27:31
  Fantasy gets the juices running.
• 27:33
  It really relaxes you and it gets you turned on.
• 27:36
  And everything that I've said today on this show, And thank you again for having me.
• 27:42
  I love talking about orgasms.
• 27:45
  You're gonna keep getting better and better and better as you do it.
• 27:49
  So if your fancy start off pretty tame, give it a year.
• 27:53
  Oh, girl, you're gonna be thinking the dirtiest things.
• 27:57
  And then over time, some of them might actually become realities because you're just maturing
• 28:04
  sexually.
• 28:05
  You're entering into your orgasm era right the hell now.
• 28:10
  And so those are some of the things that can really, really help you.
• 28:15
  Fantastic.
• 28:16
  This has been so wonderful.
• 28:18
  And Sure.
• 28:19
  I hope you guys have been scribbling notes down like crazy.
• 28:22
  Remember, you can download this episode, though, and go back and listen to it a million
• 28:25
  times and definitely do that.
• 28:27
  Because as I've been saying for this entire year now, whichever guest has the most
• 28:33
  downloads, the most shares, likes, comments, etcetera, We're gonna invite them back at the
• 28:37
  end of twenty twenty four to do a very deep dive on all these topics and more.
• 28:43
  And I I certainly want Susan back.
• 28:45
  I could talk to you all day, Susan.
• 28:47
  Thanks.
• 28:47
  Also, just remember that it's a sexy season.
• 28:50
  In sexy season, we have a ton of giveaways and promotional things.
• 28:53
  And remember, if you screenshot if you rate our podcast and screenshot it, send it into us, and
• 29:00
  we have a lot of raffles and giveaways.
• 29:02
  Our twenty one day libido jump start deep dive, we're giving away a thousand dollar value to
• 29:07
  one person.
• 29:08
  So a lot of cool things there.
• 29:10
  Make sure you register.
• 29:11
  Susan, we'll have your links for the, for the orgasmic cross training and the pleasure
• 29:16
  protocol of all of those links of yours in the show notes.
• 29:21
  And just thank you again today for coming on.
• 29:23
  It's a pleasure as always a talk to you.
• 29:25
  Yeah.
• 29:25
  Let me get you a Sundays for your giveaway.
• 29:27
  Let me get you some Forria pleasure protocols for your giveaway.
• 29:30
  How about that?
• 29:31
  I would love like that.
• 29:32
  Yeah.
• 29:33
  It'd be my pleasure.
• 29:33
  Let's give it.
• 29:34
  That would be I can also give you a bunch of my programs, my books and programs to give away if
• 29:39
  you'd like to have those.
• 29:40
  I'm thinking maybe Yeah.
• 29:41
  Sexual soulmates, expand her orgasm tonight, female liquid orgasm, my steamy sex ed video
• 29:47
  collection.
• 29:48
  Why don't I give you one of each of those to give away as well?
• 29:52
  That's amazing, you guys.
• 29:53
  Sexy season just got sexier and hotter.
• 29:56
  We have a whole many giveaways now.
• 29:58
  So please do please do rate us.
• 30:00
  Please do review.
• 30:01
  We'll get you in this raffle.
• 30:02
  And now not only do we have a bunch of stuff from me, we have a bunch of stuff from the
• 30:06
  amazing Susan Bratton to give away as well.
• 30:08
  So gonna sign off for today reminding you all to feel sexy, sexy, stay classy, and always be
• 30:14
  a little badass y.
• 30:16
  See you next time.
• 30:19
  Thank you for listening to the libido lounge.
• 30:22
  Please don't keep me a secret.
• 30:23
  Please share this with your friends.
• 30:25
  You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibido doc dot
• 30:31
  com.