Latest / Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast / How do you know if you're into Kink? The Motivation Behind Our Curiosities: From Hobbies to Kink Exploration | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 19

Transcript

How do you know if you're into Kink? The Motivation Behind Our Curiosities: From Hobbies to Kink Exploration | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 19 · Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Have you ever wondered to yourself there, campsters, if you wanted to try something new?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: And in our world you know you want to try something kinky.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: And you'd be like, how do I know?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: How do I know if I like that?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I've wondered that thing myself.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: When I wanted to try something I was like I don't know if I like this.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Do I like butt stuff?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I've got to find somebody to try that with that with.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can try butt stuff with yourself.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: But it's like, how do I know I like giving the butt stuff.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Well, you got to go out there and try it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: So today, kind of tangentially, we're gonna talk about motivation.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: What motivates you?
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: What's my reasoning for doing things?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: What is my motivation?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about it.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So, welcome back to the Around the Kinky Campfire Pillowfort Sessions.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: This is your host, mostest, with mostest El Comidon, the Cuddle Gigolo and, officially, hh and Julius.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Back again with a new season of the Pillowfort Sessions and I'm going to be talking about motivation in this episode.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Why do we do the things we do?
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: You know, why am I here?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Why am I doing this?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I like to talk first of all.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Let's just get that right out of the way, and I like having a first of all.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Let's just get that right out of the way.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I like having a stage to talk from.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: If I don't have an actual stage, I'm just going to go ahead and make one myself, and pretty much anybody can put a podcast out these days.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: And if you've been listening for all this time, thank you subscribers, thank you campsters, for listening to what I have to say.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I just want to say, even if I say something, you don't have to believe it.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: You don't have to agree with it.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: You can agree with it if you want to.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: You can believe it if you want to, but I'm just doing this because I like to talk.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I do my research, I have feelings and I want to put them out there.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So here they are for you in podcast form.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: If you don't want to listen, then you don't have to, but if you do, stick around, let me know what you think by giving it a rating.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Go to KempaKingstas, both with Ks on IG and let me know what you think on there.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Hopefully I'll put a little post on there and you can reply on there in the comments.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Let me know what you think about motivation.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: What gets you started?
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: What are some things that, um get you to do the things you do.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I know for me I am a big fun person.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: That's delicious.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I'll get into what I'm drinking here for a second, because I know you all love that, um, but for me fun is the number one thing.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: What energy is leaking out of me, out of my pores?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Why is it leaking out of my pores and what refills that energy?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: How am I absorbing it through my skin and the very ether?
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: That is the universe's universal energy and all that.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get into this right now.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Many of y'all know the Pillowfort Sessions.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: A good 20, 30-minute conversation I like to have myself and you guys can eavesdrop.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I give you consent to do that because we know here campfire around the kinky campfire, consent is sexy.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So you have my consent to listen in on what I gotta say.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: But gotta get to the official segment here.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: What everybody likes to know what am I drinking?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: What's not sponsored this week, this week, from a little place called Aldo Alday is a pure aqua, sparkling frost plus caffeine, strawberry, citrus, energy drink.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Got enough caffeine in here, even though it is a off-brand, pure aqua.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys know that it's more affordable.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Let's say it that way More affordable.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Don't want to downgrade their quality or anything, but as long as it's an effective drinking solution Twice or nice, the brand from all day, here we go.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Mmm, mmm, delicious.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, that is our ASMR.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: 10 seconds there.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: It was delicious.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I don't want to drink all this because there is a lot of caffeine in this thing, so I'm not going to drink all of it right away, bouncing off the walls before this 30 minutes is up.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So motivation as you all know, I like to get down to the specifics, the scientific approach to this.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: There is an actual definition of what motivation is and then there's a couple ways to express your motivation and get started.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: What fuels you to do the thing you do?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: So motivation is the general desire or willingness of someone to do something Very specific.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Get off that butt and do a thing, whatever it is.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's many different definitions of what hobbies are.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I prefer to think hobbies is something that you go out and do specifically.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Not necessarily go out and do outside your house, but it's just an action to it's an action you're doing something.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Basically, what's it?
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So you can go anything from being in the league sports ball league, kickball, bowling, pool, whatever you want to do, and then also like consuming something.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: So some people that are watching movies and tv shows and anime is a hobby.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That can be a a different thing.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Comic books, manga, books, in general, that could be a hobby.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So I just think it's a hobby.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It's just something that you do on a regular basis, something you do for pleasure in your leisure.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: It's a more generic definition of what a hobby is For me.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Like I said before, ooh gassy Carbon.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: What for me, you know, like I said before, ooh gassy Carbonation, there, for you folks, something that you do.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: A hobby is something that you do and what motivates you to do that?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Mine is fun and for me, fun is working on something with like a higher goal in mind, so not just doing something and consuming something or just producing something in general.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: But how do I get better at doing it?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I want to know.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So another way I guess you could say is creating opportunities.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: So building a community is another motivation for doing hobbies.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: It's progress and also, like, for me, motivating something, motivating me into doing something, is there's some kind of like progress being done there.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I like something where you know watching a show could be considered a hobby or watching movies, specific type of movies, specific genre movie I know there's horror fans out there.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So the big main thing is there's not a lot of um mark, marketable metrics, recordable progress being done, but you can say, oh, I've watched this and I've read that and that's, that's a kind of progress there, cause you know, when we're working, not all of us have like an actual how many reports or projects have you done in this amount of time.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can go look it up, but you don't really get the sense of having done something.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: And then moving on, that's a big thing about hobbies as well, because at least if you're like winning a competition or getting a trophy or something, it's like ooh, I've done a thing and we've moved on to here and we're trying again.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: There's also the thing between like a, an art or creative um mentality versus like a business mentality.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: So this is one of those things that like artists, like sculptors and painters and everything like that, the general sense is that it's done for you, done like for you, like personally versus like a business side thing is what?
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Whether the people want and that's what you're giving to them like a service or something like that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: So for me I I like to combine both.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: So this is what you call like a side hustle.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: So that's kind of going out of the hobby realm, it's going more into the side hustle thing.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Basically, you're doing it for like monetary gain or some kind of barter trade.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: You're getting something for what your hobby quote unquote at that point is.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: You're leaning into the side hustle type thing.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: So where does your motivation come from?
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Is it an internal, is it therapeutic, or are you getting something for it?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: For me I like a little both.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: So hopefully it's something like you know, a podcast that people enjoy and then I'm not really looking to get something for it, but it does make it better.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: So a little like behind the curtain people I'm not looking for like monetary gains from this, but the more monetary stuff that happens, then it improves the quality.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: You can get guests in that are a little bit more professional, I guess, and not just people you, um, I know or something like that, or one of us knows, and everything.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: The overall quality just goes up.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: So for me this is very therapeutic.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: It's for me, uh, even if nobody listened, I would still do this, and you know numbers go up and down.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Let's just say that to be frank.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And susan, uh, that monitor the, the numbers go down and that determines like sponsors and all those kind of things.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: But if I'm doing it for myself, then I have free form to do things.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: When you do like get professional and everything like that, you don't tend to be able to be free with what you say and what you do.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And as you do like get professional and everything like that, you don't tend to be able to be free with what you say and what you do.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And, as you know, the topics we talk about here are very taboo.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: They're not super duper marketable and I prefer to, for, uh, any kind of monetary game, be non-for-profit, so it literally just goes back into the business of making it better.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Editors would be nice so that I can just create stuff without having to work on the specifics of it.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So if you guys could tell there's like breaks in between episodes and stuff like that is because having to come up with concepts and do everything producing and editing and like takes time.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: So it's like if I could just whittle my job down to like one thing, I probably could get more stuff out there.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So that would be nice to have like an editor.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: But back to motivation more specifically, that that could could get more stuff out there.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: So that would be nice to have like an editor.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: But back to motivation more specifically, that could be a motivating thing right there.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: So it's relative.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Motivation is an internal state that propels individuals to engage in goal-oriented behavior or goal-directed behavior.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: So an internal state how are you feeling, doing and saying internally, what drives you?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: The driving force, what are the driving forces behind human behavior, fuels competition and social connection.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Desire to continue toward meaning, purpose and life worth living.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: So fuels competition and social connection.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not super big on the competitive part but I do like social connection.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I know we've talked about on here the podcast convention, people hanging out with other like-minded people and also in the kink and the non-monogamy worlds or BDSM worlds, lifestyles and all that being with like-minded people.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: That is one of my big motivating things.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's probably second to having fun.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Is the community aspect of all the different hobbies that I have and or side hustles.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Is the community being around like-minded people?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Love it, love it, love it If I can get around my kinky folks and talk about all the kinky things and see all the different bits and bangles that people have in their nether regions and being free and dressing how they want to Love me a good costume, you rock in the puppy play or you're a furry or something like that.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Feel free to express yourself.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Julius is presence.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: If you ain't hurting anybody non-consensually, then I gotta put that in there.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: You ain't hurting anybody.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: It's like wait a second, I'm in bsm.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Of course I'm hurting people, but it's consensual and they enjoy it.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Nothing better when you play with somebody and they enjoy the bruises and the welts that you give them and the bite marks and everything later on and it's like oh, we get along, we can be friends because we do this consensually and you giving and I'm receiving, or I'm giving and you're receiving, all mixed in together.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: We work well together.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: That's part of the motivation as well For me, especially the social connection slash community.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: What is the purpose in life?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: My purpose here, people, is to spread the information.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: That's where I get the name Julius from.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Anybody heard the game called Paperboy on the NES system?
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: It's the name of the Paperboy on there, a little-known fact that you guys didn't know.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: It's Julio, so I derived Julius from that.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I give out the information.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I'm literally here to give out information.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: If that's what you want is information, I'm here.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Once, I'm literally here to give out information.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: If that's what you want is information, I'm here.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Once again, I don't care if you agree or disagree with it, but you will have facts and opinions and it will hopefully be entertaining at the same time for y'all.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: So here you go, you take this information and you do what you want with it.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: And my main point today is your motivation.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Go out there and try the thing.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So back to my original posited question how do you know if you're into something?
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Well, you got to try it.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: But why?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Why try it?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Find out if it's fun for you?
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Do a little self-awareness, check and be like, okay, I tried this thing.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I went and got the, the rules and the guidelines and all the um, the inner workings and how other people do it.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: So I tried it for myself.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Did I enjoy it?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: My example was butt stuff.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Tried butt stuff very recently as far as I'm concerned.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I'm old and within the last five years or so, tried butt stuff for the first time.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed it.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I will not seek it out for myself giving and or receiving but I was like, okay, partner at the time enjoyed it.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: And I constantly talk to people that like to do that thing, not a super driving factor for them.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: I've had friends that, like you, know the rating game if they're an 8, but they don't like butt stuff.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Now they're a 6, maybe a 5, and it's like, oh, wow, I don't feel as passionately about that, but some people do.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Some people love the butt stuff and more power to them.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And you know, there's, there's a, there's a line there where you get into the scat stuff and it's like, oh, that's a hard limit for old julius here, but some people like it.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: What is your motivation?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: You know I am a big proponent of trying stuff.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: If I see something, which I usually do on a regular basis, I find new kinks all the time come across them and it's like, huh, that's interesting.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: No, I will not try insects because I hate bugs, but some people love the feeling of multiple legs crawling across their bodies and regions and it's like more power to you.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Uh, not for me, because I believe all bugs should be killed.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: You are in my living space crawling around, you do not need to be here.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Four legs or less, that's all the things that's allowed in my living spaces.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, you do what you want, but everything else got to go.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: We got spray, we got chocolates, chocolate you get a chocolate popped off the foot and onto your thing if you got more than four legs in my presence telling you what right now?
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: So motivation back to that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Why, why are you doing?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing suspension, rope suspension, why, why so?
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: The smart people say it's a hierarchy of needs.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: There's a guy named that with the last name of maslow I forgot what his first name was back in 1943, who theorized that humans inherently, are motivated to better themselves and move toward full potential because of needs from hunger to love, so smart people would call that.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Arousal Doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, but it's a heightened state when you're hungry or in love, or in heat or whatever it is.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: But it's a heightened state when you're hungry or in love, or in heat or whatever it is.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And that's where motivation comes from.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I would say for most people it's a sense of comfort to be comfortable.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Humans in general do not like to be uncomfortable, uncomfortable.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: So if you're not doing the rope suspension, that is a cooling, meditative, therapeutic practice for you.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and you just have a general state of that's where you're supposed to be.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Then go ahead and give it a try if you don't know what it is.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: And then some people, you know they make their lives out of it.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I know I'm one of those people that I have to do it on a regular basis.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I have to, I want to do it on a regular basis along with like impact play or primal.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Primal definitely is something that's like.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: That's part of me right there.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: It's going to come out at some point or another.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: And this guy, my love, that it's, it's, it's based.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: It's based.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: It's based on your human nature.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: People want to strive to be comfortable and you're aroused from that.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Arousal doesn't have to just be sexual, but that's a big thing in human existence that we want to be in a state of arousal and then we want to get back to that place.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: That's what fuels us to do the things we do.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: People work now.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: We used to hunt and gather for resources, but now people have to work.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: You've got to get that money so you can pay for all the things.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I know I enjoy food.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: You know, kind of hard to enjoy food, especially good food without some money.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Also like living under the roof with central air, especially living down in the southern part of the US and Florida.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: It gets hot.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: It's the hottest month of the year right now and I like living in air conditioning, so I'm going to work for it.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Motivating factor for me Also.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Another thing is self-transcendence, so evolution tend to things beyond yourself.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: There's a ethereal part of it.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: There's people that like to volunteer to help out the general society out there.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not super motivated by that If it's a byproduct of something I do, if I can help people out.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: That's why I talk to myself and record it and put it out on the internet.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: So hopefully I'm helping somebody with this information.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Somebody's getting something they never heard before with what I say and they go out there and they try it for themselves.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: So this is one of those things that's like ooh, motivation, go out and try the different things, uh.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: And then now of course we got to get into the scientific thing is where does motivation come from?
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: So we know that motivation is like a human nature thing, but where exactly?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Uh, work, compensation, enjoyment, curiosity, validation to avoid loss, avoid uncomfortability, that's all great questions, julius.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Let's literally dig down into it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: So we have a big spectrum here.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: It's intrinsic motivation versus extrinsic motivation.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Basically, intrinsic is something that is part of your identity.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: It's integrated into yourselves.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: It's constant motivation from within.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: People don't really know exactly where it comes from, but we know it's internally versus extrinsic.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Any reason that somebody does something other than self-joy, you're doing it because you're getting something from it.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: So many of the questions I ask during this little talk with y'all is where are you getting it from and why are you doing it?
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Internally?
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: For me it's the fun, but some people you know you make money from it.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: People applaud you, praise you for what you're doing.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: That could be another reason.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: So let me dive deep into the spectrum here intrinsic versus extrinsic.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: It's got to be like an ambitrinsic.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: You've got introvert and extrovert an ambivert, so why not ambertrinsic?
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I would say I fall in there just because I'm doing things for my own self.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say self-worth, but self-identity.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: It comes from within.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: But if people are going to pay me for it, it's like I'll talk some more.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I'll do what it feels like to me.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: You like hearing what I say.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: You know the self-conscious, because I'm not super extrovert type person that just can talk and talk, and talk.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: If people ain't listening then I'm probably not going to talk, but I think it's sure sign is that they pay me to do it.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: People pay me to have a class or teach a class or do a ted talk or something.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: It's like oh, they want to hear what I have to say.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep talking.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: So intrinsic for me, specifically like rings well out and clear.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So a competence.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: There's like specific types of intrinsic and extrinsic.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm talking about those.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: One of the intrinsic types is competence learning like the process rather than the goal going, going towards something or a reward.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: So they're motivated by learning and getting better towards goals instead of like the destination.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: So for me that definitely hits home and true because I like all the different things leading up to the things.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Having a podcast that's like widely popular would be nice, but I like actually getting all the equipment and learning how to do it and like when to put episodes out and how often and what, how to talk and like what to say exactly.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: I love all the little, the little guidelines and rules and stuff.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: So now a lot of people, especially on the creative side, are like I don't like to do this thing, I just like to feel it and then do it.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: It's like that's great for you.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I'm a robot, not a pirate.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Anybody knows what I'm talking about.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: That hooray for you.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: But I am definitely a robot.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I am based on facts.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Before I actually do something, I'm not super opinionated and based on feelings.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Before I do something, I need all the rules and the guidelines and stuff Give me all the basics.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So when I was learning about podcasting, it was like, oh, you should do it weekly yada, yada, this time of the week With this equipment and this is a whole package.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, we have this whole thing that has everything included.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Then you got to put it on the site to do all.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love all that.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I love all that.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Ooh, more carbonation coming out, good stuff, okay, so for me that's really what it is.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So I'm 100%.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm about the journey Doesn't really necessarily need to be a destination.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: So I'll be tweaking the hell out of all this until the end of days, until I can't talk anymore.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I'm mumbling to myself in the corner.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I probably pooped a little.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: That kind of thing, pooped and peed.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: That's my kind of thing.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: So, as long as I can talk and people will.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I can record it.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I guess I should say nobody else has to record it, I'll record it myself, put it out there, that's fine.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Another intrinsic type is attitude desire to change the way you are or other people and how they think or feel.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Engage in actions and interactions for feeling better.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: That's one of the things.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Motivate for fun.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I don't really know why you care about what other people are doing.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I guess if you can get them to change their minds or feelings, that's good For me, that's amazing.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Hold on one second here.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Their minds or feelings, that's good For me, that's amazing.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Hold on one second here.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I just realized what happened there.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: So hopefully that sounds a little bit better now.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: So for the last little five minutes here you guys get great audio.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Just kind of messed that all up.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: So hopefully now it sounds a little bit better.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: But as I was saying, basically just skip all the rest of it, just skip to this part.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Attitudes is it fun?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: And I do actually like for other people to have fun as well.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: So for me, having fun and then hopefully somebody gets something out of it and they have fun too, would be a great, and then we can all come together and build a community where everybody's just having fun doing things and talking.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: And then achievement is another motivation, intrinsic desire to pursue and achieve specific goals.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: So that's a little bit different than the competitive, competence, learning aspect, because you have a goal in mind.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, I would like a goal.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: My goal is to appear on different podcasts and talk about all the different things I know, but once again, that's not really like it's attainable, but it's not something that that's not an end thing for me.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: So once I get that, I'm not going to stop because I still like talking.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: So that's part of my nature.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I'm going to keep talking until the end of days, and people talking until the end of days and people want to put me on their thing as well, and I'm cool with that.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Uh, and then okay, so, yeah, that that type of thing creative, creative motivation, creativity or an eight drive for creative expression this is where, like the artists are me, creating something is, uh, making it entertaining.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I call myself the entertainment creative.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: So there you go, that's what it is.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: As long as it's entertaining, I believe people will listen more often, which is something I like.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: So the more you listen, the more better it gets.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: For me, I guess I don't even know.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: You see me more often.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: I guess you could say that or hear me more often.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Creative, yeah, entertainment, that kind of thing I just had.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I just had a little ruminating thought and I went somewhere somewhere else.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: But for me the internet, that's the practice.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Part of it is there are rules to be entertaining.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I know that's more of like a creative thing, but there's.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you guys read it like a comedy handbook, stand economy handbook, or go to a class to actually teach you how to be a standup comedian, I know shocker, you can go to class for this because it's a learned skill.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Improv is another thing.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Sketch comedy, all those different things is a learned skill.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: You can practice it and be better.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: So I want to hear y'all being like I can't be funny.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: No, you can learn.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: You might not be as good as the best person there, but there's always going to be somebody better than you doing that thing.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: But the question is once again do you find enjoyment out?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Is it fun for you?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Go do the butt stuff.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Go do the butt stuff.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: People Stick it in the booty or have it stuck in your booty.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: It's all great.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: And lastly, back to intrinsic, physiological, physiological, deep, primal feelings, internal and that are like outside of your control.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: So this is what makes you you.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: This is the physiological, this is part of the thing where the nature thing.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: It's part of who you are.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: You don't have to explain it, you just like doing the thing because you like doing the thing.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I both hate and love you people.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I'm so jealous of the people that just can do stuff and like don't question why they just do it.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: It's like what the heck?
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: No, that is not me I need to figure out.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: There's names and terms and definitions for all this stuff.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I like all that.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: It's part of who I am.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: There you go, but I know the names, not just part of who I am.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: There's actually names for this things, okay.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: So let's go over quickly to the extrinsic people, those weirdos that need outside validation for doing this.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just joking.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: That is a joke.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: People, if that's who you are, then more power to you.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I both hate and love you people as well, because it's like, okay, the ego's out there and it's like I need people to know what I'm doing for me to be motivated and they have to say I love it, otherwise I can't do it.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: It's my whole thing.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I need the metrics.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Are people listening?
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: People download, like, subscribe, share, rate it five stars, all those different things.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: You know what, if that's your thing, this could be for you.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: So, basically, any reason, someone does work other than jewelry of the work itself.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: So they ultimately want something at the end of this.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Three elements are expectancy increased effort equals increased performance.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Instrumentality performance will be noticed and rewarded and balance or validating one word that is promised, one word that is promised.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: So, expecting to see, unless there's a specific um, like, mention or something at the end of it, they're not really going to do the work.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: So why am I doing this thing?
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're going to give me money, oh, I'll do it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Then it's like okay, I mean $5,000, $5,000.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Some people do stuff because of that.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: It depends on what it is.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: There's a sexual lack, I'll do stuff for 5,000.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: I have no problem with that.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Demisexual here people.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that kind of thing is like eh, whatever, instrumentality, so your performance will be noticed.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: So put it out on the internet, people will like it.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Like I said, like, subscribe, share, all those different things.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: And then balance or validity so it's a promise reward You're going to get something specifically for this.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, affirmation hey, you did a great job.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: That that does a lot for a lot of people.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Words of affirmation People love languages.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: You know they do it because.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, I noticed you did this thing and I appreciate it.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are motivated that way.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Uh, another one is incentive reward rather than achievement of a goal.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: So instead of like being self-motivated intrinsically because they did something, they get a reward, like I said money, I'm just going to keep using money, favors, all those different kinds of things.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, good old blow job.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: If I do this, I get a blow job.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Ah, I get my pussy.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: That's good, that's a fun game for me.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I don't really need that, but I do love a good old, uh, good old incentive game.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, that's not actually a thing, I just made that up.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: But yeah, oh yeah, I better get this strike in here, otherwise you ain't gonna get your pussy eaten.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: You know, that's the.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: That's the kind of motivation I'm talking about.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: That's a fun game for me.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Um, also speaking fun games, there's a thing called fear play.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Now, I am a big mind fucker, but I'm not 100% all the way on board with the fear play.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I know people that teach this kind of thing.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: So no judgments from here.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: But specific fears like don't put any spiders throw me off a cliff, none of that kind of thing.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: But yeah, fear of tickling I'm down with that.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Fear of biting, I'm down.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Well good, no, not biting.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Let's not say that on the Primal Channel here.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Specifically, biting for like a good 30 minutes.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I love a good threat from biting.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I will enjoy it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: The person receiving it might not, but yeah, fear of biting for a good 30 minutes.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Clothespins is another good one.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: The spoon oh, if you don't know what I'm talking about, the spoon, then I would say you should get motivated to give it a test.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Try.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Good old spoon from like back in the day.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Us boomer kids I'm not boomer, not that old, but my parents boomers we got the spoon.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, boy, did we get the spoon?
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I have one in my trunk, though.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: That gets a good reaction every single time Brings you back to your childhood, right there, or not, if you're younger.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I don't even know when the cutoff was.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: What generation was that?
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: Z, y, then didn't get the spoon anymore.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: But I'll remind you.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Good old Julius will remind you of the spoon.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Oh boy, okay, last two, second to last.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Power, control over their own lives and lives of others.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, power, motivation, increased life options and control environment.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: So I can kind of get on board with that.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I would like a nicer place.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be like a 5,000-foot mansion, $80 million house, but I would like more space to do the things.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like if there's more separation between all the different hobbies I got going on, I'll be able to keep my mind straight neuro spicy here.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: So, separation of all the things.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: If I got a desk and there's like all my hobbies are on it, it's just like the burnout.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I look at him like, all right, I'm just going to go to sleep.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Too much going on.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: So, being able to control my life more I feel like if I control my environment, have a bigger space to do more things, I'll be motivated to do more things.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: So that part I kind of understand.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: If anything, this is a spectrum, as I said before, and for me, when I lean over to the extrinsic, it's the power of my environments and my place and all that stuff, all right.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: And then, lastly, we have affiliation and social, some more social stuff here.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Social factors like belonging and acceptance, connections I said that way back a few minutes ago before the audio got better uh, seeking connections by contributing to a social group.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: So, uh, for me on the extra exercise is another thing.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I love community and being with like-minded people.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe you do too.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: So if you're wondering about the butt stuff, there's a butt stuff community.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: There's people that like the butt stuff, like talking about the butt stuff, have all different ways of butt stuff, have all the different toys and they like talking to you about the toys.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, butt stuff.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: This whole podcast has been going back to butt stuff.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Everybody should try out butt stuff.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Julius will watch and enjoy you enjoying yourself with the butt stuff.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I will participate with a partner.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: If they really want the butt stuff, that is more of a ward.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: So, extrinsic motivation.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: They get something out of it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: If they really like the butt stuff, they will get the butt stuff from Julius.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, Hope you enjoyed the butt stuff.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Talk aka motivation.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Why am I trying the thing?
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: If you are new, to like the BDSM lifestyle or non-monogamy or geekdom, I feel for you that you have not experienced it yet, but you're not going to know if you like the thing until you try it.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: At least, that's what I believe.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: What motivates you to do it, though, is a good question that you should try out for yourself, and hopefully you got some tips from what I said.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: My time is running out, so we're about to cut this off.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Catch us around the King Campfire and me, specifically on the Pillowfort Sessions, usually Thursdays I can't even say every second and fourth Thursdays now, but it'll be out.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: If it comes out, it's on a Thursday, just to let you know.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Hopefully, you enjoy the start of the new season of the Pillowfort Sessions, but for now, this is Julius, aka El Comidon, aka the Cuddle Gigolo Still looking for that the Entertainment Creative.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Definitely that.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to need some business cards put out for her, that kind of thing but you can catch us on all the major platforms Spotify, itunes, amazon, google, maybe All those different things Around the Kinky campfire, campfire kinksters with K's on IG, and we'll catch you next time and hello.