Latest / No One Gets Hurt / Criminal Masterminds Pt. 1

Transcript

Criminal Masterminds Pt. 1 · No One Gets Hurt

0:00
SPEAKER_01: All right, listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:02
SPEAKER_03: This is a podcast that focuses on crimes and scams where no one physically is harmed.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: This is a podcast for information and entertainment purposes only.
0:12
SPEAKER_03: Nothing in this podcast should be taken as legal advice.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: So listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:18
SPEAKER_03: You already said that.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, don't forget to like and subscribe, and in the comments, tell us which scam you'd like us to cover next.
0:26
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
0:35
SPEAKER_01: If I could tell pictures of my asshole on OnlyFans and make a living, I would.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: You kinda could just say it's somebody else.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: It's a little blown out from Prince of Nature.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh coming in heavy right away.
0:49
SPEAKER_02: Hey, be you honest, man.
0:53
SPEAKER_03: Have we even been count it in yet?
0:56
SPEAKER_02: No.
1:01
SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: Use it for later for something.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: Prolapse is the collapse.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's crazy.
1:18
SPEAKER_03: Well, uh, here we are with our first guest.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: I mean, this is pretty crazy.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: What up, man?
1:24
SPEAKER_01: It's been crazy already so far.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this has been insane.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
1:30
SPEAKER_03: So, so you want to hit us with your Instagram real quick, just so uh I'm Joseph Carter.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: They can find you.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm Joseph Carter, and uh you can find me at Joseph Carter Comedy on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and I think TikTok.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Even though I ain't got a lot of stuff on TikTok, that ain't my thing.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: But uh that's the young people's game, I think.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I'm gonna put more stuff on there soon.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, Joseph Carter Comedy pretty much everywhere.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: And then you run a show, right?
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Or yeah, me and a buddy of mine, uh, we run a roast battle show called Roast Busters, and uh, which we have one coming up April the 10th at Legacy Lounge in Los Angeles.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Um and I host a mic every Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles, so feel free to pull up.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Boyaka Lounge, right?
2:17
SPEAKER_00: At Buyaka Lounge, that's the name of it.
2:19
SPEAKER_03: Nice.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: The owner is a Japanese reggae singer.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: For real.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: A Japanese reggae singer.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, pretty much coming out just.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Her name is uh Kaz Geisha.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: Shout out Kaz.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: And it's a lady?
2:33
SPEAKER_00: It's a chick, man.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: She kind of fine too.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Edit that out, also.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: I love you, baby.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:43
SPEAKER_03: Just a little bit backstory.
2:46
SPEAKER_03: Tony and I met e each other on a roast battle.
2:48
SPEAKER_03: That's how we met.
2:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah?
2:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we were roasting each other.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: I thought she was gonna say in jail.
2:52
SPEAKER_03: No.
2:54
SPEAKER_03: No.
2:55
SPEAKER_03: That would be quite an interesting jail.
2:59
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so uh Tonyo, you know.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: You could have been a public defender or something.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: That's true, that's true.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not in jail.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't I wasn't uh insinuating that.
3:12
SPEAKER_03: Never know.
3:13
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so we were we met on a roast bottle, and then I promptly apologized for everything I said, and then a DM after, and then our friendship plumed from there.
3:21
SPEAKER_03: So wow, yeah, yeah.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: Soft roaster, huh?
3:26
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
3:26
SPEAKER_03: I had a I think I had a couple good ones on you.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: I didn't she was cool though.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to do it to her, you know what I mean?
3:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I used to be I used to have a hard time roasting females because a lot of females that get real sensitive, they take things personal and then they just start being mean, like they're not even roasting no more, it's just like personal hood.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: And uh, but I overcame that and now I roast the shit out of women all the time.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: And uh and shoot.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've developed our friendship.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: Like when I see her in the morning, I ask her if she brushed her hair.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's dope.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: And we can see today that she did it.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's kind of like yin and yang, I think.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: It is very much that, yeah.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: Two different ends of the spectrum for sure, man.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: That's the concept.
4:12
SPEAKER_03: That's right, yeah.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: And now, if you ever get in trouble, you got somebody.
4:17
SPEAKER_03: I know a guy or a girl that can probably help you out, but I don't do it.
4:21
SPEAKER_03: I don't do criminal.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: I you don't do criminals?
4:24
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I hear they got bad insurance, yeah.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:30
SPEAKER_03: I don't do criminal law.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: You do in fact have shitty insurance.
4:35
SPEAKER_03: I don't do criminal law.
4:36
SPEAKER_03: I I that was kind of what I wanted to do, but then I just never got into it.
4:40
SPEAKER_03: It's so weird.
4:41
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I don't know.
4:43
SPEAKER_03: But uh yeah, so last night we were at the uh provisions.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: I think you've been there, right?
4:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so we I was on the show with uh JP was producing it.
4:54
SPEAKER_03: It was a pretty fun show.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: It was uh really good show, hot crowd, big crowd, standing room only.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Shout out to JP and the guys, yeah.
5:02
SPEAKER_03: Evan Cass crushed, yeah.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: Tony Cass.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: Daniel Zambrano crushed, everybody crushed.
5:07
SPEAKER_03: Tony Graham's I've never seen him before.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: He destroyed the room.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: He was so funny.
5:12
SPEAKER_03: Tony Graham was cool, man.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's a very funny guy.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure, for sure.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: And Drew and it was just a good good group, good crowd.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: Yep, uh Robert Thompson from uh Road Dogs Headlined.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: He he sounds his bin Scully is insane, like it's so good.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's funny as hell.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: He looks apart too, like he looks like a comic.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: Kind of kooky, yeah.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Quirky, like quirky Robert Thompson?
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I don't know what that is.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have to see a picture.
5:44
SPEAKER_03: If I see a picture, I'll be like, oh yeah, I know he's a really tall, tall, skinny white dude.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have to see.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't narrow down.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: All right.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: I mean it narrowed down from all the short ones.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I know it's not Danny DeVito.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: So it could be Sean Bradley.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh Brad Williams.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: That's the uh Yeah.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: Be careful.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: The shortcut.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: Fuck it.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: The shortcut.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: We don't got no sponsorship.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: Smidge of the midge, eh?
6:18
SPEAKER_01: Fuck him.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Smidge of the midge.
6:21
SPEAKER_03: I think he's actually from Orange County.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
6:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so.
6:23
SPEAKER_03: I saw him at Urban Improv one time.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: I thought he was from like Narnia.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: I was just playing.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: It's Orange County where the Oompa Loompa lives.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Man, nah.
6:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:34
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
6:35
SPEAKER_03: So uh you got a story for us today, Tonyo?
6:39
SPEAKER_01: My story for today is not necessarily a crime.
6:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, I went into digging into it thinking it was a crime.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but it turns out no crimes were committed.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: But it was a whole ass roller coaster, and I was like high as fuck and super into it.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: So this is what we're talking about today.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh we're gonna talk about a dude named Theodore Slaussen.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: They called him Ted.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: He was uh I don't want to just say like a contestant on the Price is Right.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, because he he went to 36 total tapings.
7:16
SPEAKER_03: In person?
7:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: I know who you're talking about over the years.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Did you see the documentary?
7:21
SPEAKER_00: Fucking right.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't see the documentary, I saw a piece on him.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And uh, yeah.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: It's very timely because Price is Right is actually he's like the Rain Man of Price is Right.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: That's that's that's what Drew Carey called him.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: The fucking rain man.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: That's what he was like, man.
7:37
SPEAKER_03: Well, I was gonna say Price is Right has been in the news recently, too, because I guess one of the uh Barker's beauties is complaining that uh Bob was not very gentlemanly like with her.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean Which news flash, that's not I'm not surprised.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: I saw things saying he was racist too.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: That's what I saw.
7:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't know.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: Like he was born in like 1926.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: Of course he's fucking racist.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: What where's the surprise?
8:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like, oh wait, he uh sexually harassed the Barker's Beauties.
8:06
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's shocking.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: That motherfucker was around before Martin Luther had a dream, is all I'm saying.
8:11
SPEAKER_03: I think he was uh the the spade and neutered comment that he would say at the end.
8:15
SPEAKER_03: I think that was actually out to all the men, like, hey, don't forget.
8:19
SPEAKER_03: Wait, said what?
8:20
SPEAKER_03: Sniped.
8:21
SPEAKER_03: You remember the end of the Every Price, right?
8:22
SPEAKER_03: He'd be like, don't forget to get your dogs spade and neutered.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I do really.
8:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think I think it was more like don't get yourself into trouble.
8:30
SPEAKER_03: Don't get yourself multiple children.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, subliminals, huh?
8:35
SPEAKER_00: It was really meant for humans.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, maybe it's crazy.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Your pet was your spouse.
8:43
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, not like that, not like that.
8:45
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: That's your spouse, new too.
8:47
SPEAKER_03: No, yes, yes, yes.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do it.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: We have four kids, so yeah.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I mean, what if God forbid something happens to my wife, and then I have to get with like this beautiful woman later on and she wants kids.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: It's reversible, bro.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: I gotta be able to.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Not if you get your balls cut off.
9:06
SPEAKER_01: No, I mean, you get a vasectomy, it's a reverse.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, spay or neuter is not just a vasectomy, right?
9:13
SPEAKER_03: Well, I admit it like figuratively, but yeah.
9:16
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, you're not that's castration.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: In humans, that's castration.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: Man, Bob Barker.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy, man.
9:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Babbo.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Babbo.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Hey, Babbo.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Bobby's world.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: This is right.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: Theodore Roosevelt.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: No, Theodore uh Teddy.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: Eleanor.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: Big Teddy's his last name.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Ted's excellent.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Ted Slauson.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: Ted's Excellent Adventure.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: Ted Slauson.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: Ted's excellent adventure.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: I thought it was Crenshaw.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: My bad.
9:52
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna try it one more time.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: Ted's Excellent Adventure for the Trifecta.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh all right, so the the I might be all over the place with this.
10:03
SPEAKER_03: That's fine.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was fucking faded watching it, and it was hard to focus because like the angle they had the camera at, the side of his head looked like a whole nother face.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: So it was kind of hard to follow.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: But we're gonna get there.
10:17
SPEAKER_03: But you're faded now, so yeah, exactly.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: So I'm hoping like it's gonna come together.
10:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes, for sure.
10:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm hoping that's the case.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh so basically, this dude was like super obsessed with the prices, right?
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: Uh and so he was essentially studying the show.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: And this motherfucker made a spreadsheet.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: And we're talking like pre-Microsoft Excel.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: So this motherfucker hand made a spreadsheet with all the prices of all the things that he's seen on there.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: Cause they just fucking rotate and recycle them.
10:56
SPEAKER_03: Right.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: And then but every time they would bring a new item, he would add that shit to the spreadsheet.
11:02
SPEAKER_03: Do you think he uh like considered inflation, you know, or no?
11:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: No, no, he started figuring out, like, he started figuring out all kinds of shit.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: And like certain times with like with certain showcases, the price of it would be this, like, he found all kinds of shit out.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
11:23
SPEAKER_01: He would add up the individual prices of the things in the showcase, and then fucking have the exact uh price for the whole showcase.
11:34
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever known anybody to go on the show?
11:37
SPEAKER_00: I think so, yeah.
11:38
SPEAKER_03: You're not sure.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: No, I think I think this person told me the other day they've been on the show before, but it might have been on Let's Make a Deal.
11:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh my well, my mom was on Let's Make a Deal.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know a few people that's been on there.
11:49
SPEAKER_03: Well, she was on it with Monty Hall, like in the Oh, in the 70s.
11:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: And she I'm talking Wayne Brady.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she she went on as a welder.
11:58
SPEAKER_03: My dad's a welder, so she that was her costume.
12:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: That's funny.
12:02
SPEAKER_03: And she won$500.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: That's dope.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's funny.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: I got a buddy, he won a trip to uh uh Amsterdam.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, and uh, but you know, whatever you win on there, you don't get it until a year later.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: Right.
12:14
SPEAKER_03: Well, and you have to pay taxes on it.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's ass.
12:17
SPEAKER_03: I had I had a friend who was on Prices Right, she made it to the showcase and she won her showcase.
12:22
SPEAKER_03: And she got a trip to, I think it was Iceland.
12:24
SPEAKER_03: She said it was awesome.
12:25
SPEAKER_03: She went on the trip, everything, but yeah.
12:27
SPEAKER_03: I think I think she might have won a sailboat or something, and she sold she traded that in for money, you know, because you don't have to take the item, but yeah, it's kind of what am I gonna do with a sailboat?
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Sail?
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Man, it's like, damn, I live in the project.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: Not even nowhere near the beach.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't live in no project.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: All right, sorry to sorry to keep interrupting you, but uh it's kind of fun, so keep going.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: You should be.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: No, no, I'm just kidding.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: Uh so uh he had this master plan that he was gonna go get on the show, go all the way, get the get the dollar on the spin.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: You know, you do the spin at the end for the showcase, uh, win a showcase.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, so he I forget where it said he was from, but he drove it was a pretty long way uh to Los Angeles.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: I think he was from China.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, yeah.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: What it was somewhere else, yeah.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: You're right.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: Nah, yeah, you're right.
13:30
SPEAKER_03: China Beach, maybe, but not from China.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's not Chinese.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right, man.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: My bad.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Probably I'm thinking I get China and Wisconsin confused sometimes, man.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: It was like the 80s.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: He was like fucking full-blown porn stash, fucking white guy, yeah.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: Probably did drive a station wagon.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: Um real loser, this guy.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: But actually, he was a winner.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: He was.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, obviously I was being ironic.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: Kinda.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: Allegedly.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's a fucking, it's a roller coaster, dude.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: So he starts going to tapings.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: He he goes to LA and starts going to tapings, and he's sitting in the crowd and yelling out the exact prices of like all the items up for bid for fucking everything.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Nobody's listening to him.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: Until the eighth episode, people started listening.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: And then they would like listen on and off.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: So they would listen to his initial bid, and then when he's yelling at them during whatever game they're playing, they're not listening at all.
14:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you mean like the contestants?
14:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
14:39
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so apparently that's a thing you can do.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: You can just yell out the price.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: And this guy made a fucking uh a spreadsheet and just knew everything.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: Case of being super autistic, I think.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Just doesn't forget anything.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: Um he went on the show, he went to 24 tapings before he got uh onto the show to make an actual bid.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: And for those 24 tapings, he's fucking yelling out the the exact price for everything consistently to the point where the producers start to notice, and uh Bob Barker starts making like he becomes a part of the show almost.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: He's uh at so many fucking tapings.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: Uh he becomes kind of a staple at the show.
15:35
SPEAKER_03: Um so Was he when he was going to the tapings like he was putting his name in to be called down, right?
15:41
SPEAKER_01: Like well, y when you go into the taping, that's everybody's in the in the drama.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: It's like a bucket, it's like a potluck.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: Except they're plucking humans.
15:53
SPEAKER_03: It's like kill Tony.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so well, the producer walks through the crowd and they'll talk to you.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: Um and that's how they decide who to bring down.
16:03
SPEAKER_01: Uh and they said he they had talked to him a couple times but never brought him down.
16:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think it's like you have to be like, oh, it's my birthday, it's my anniversary, or like something like you know, to get picked.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: So what do they do?
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Like uh like uh uh how do they choose?
16:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like psychological or something.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: No, I think I think it's like people that are unhinged.
16:22
SPEAKER_03: I think it's people that are probably like, you know, it's their birthday or it's their anniversary or they're there for their honeymoon or something, like somebody has like a this is my guess that has like a good backstory so that way they are producible.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: So that's like industrial psychology a little bit, like essentially on the fly.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: The producers literally out there making the decision as people are going up.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: You have to be good TV.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I imagine someone being at their 24th taping was probably good TV.
16:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, maybe not at first, they might not have liked, but then maybe they're like, okay, finally, we'll give it this guy.
16:55
SPEAKER_03: And plus the odds, too.
16:56
SPEAKER_03: Like you gotta play the odds, you know.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: Well, he at that point he had become a part of the show, like I said.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: So they they made a big deal out of it when they called him up.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: And uh this motherfucker goes up there and the first the very first bid wrong.
17:12
SPEAKER_03: But was that on purpose?
17:14
SPEAKER_01: No, no, he was just wrong.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: So uh Man, they probably put the wrong number up on purpose just to make him look like he was wrong.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, what happened was it was uh similar model to what it was like an appliance or something.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: He mentioned it, didn't he?
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: It was a similar model, but it had like one more bell or whistle.
17:36
SPEAKER_03: So instead of GE, it was whirlpool.
17:39
SPEAKER_03: Something like that.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't remember.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: It had a spin cycle.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: The original one didn't have a spin cycle, and then that one had a spin cycle like the that spin cycle cost him the first one, just was a washboard.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: It was like, dang, I priced the washing board, but not the whirlpool.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: Essentially, that was uh that's the what exactly happened.
18:01
SPEAKER_03: It was a G, not a G E.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Fucking uh got that shit off Timu, had like steam cleaner in it or something.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Uh so he gets the first bid wrong, he gets the second bid right on the nose, uh, as he had been doing.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: So he gets up and he's got a chance to win 10,000 by playing a game called Punch a Bunch.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh so you have to guess the prices of certain items, which of course he got them all right.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Uh and then there's a big board with holes in it, and you punch through the paper, and whatever comes out, like that's your prize.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: And then I think also you can like isn't it something like where you punch and then you pull out your prize and then you don't have to continue punching?
18:46
SPEAKER_03: Yes, okay.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: That game.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Uh so the very first one he pulled out was a thousand dollars.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Uh uh.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Which I mean, and it's a fucking I think at this point it was like maybe like early two thousands.
18:59
SPEAKER_03: But then you he can stop at a thousand or he can keep going.
19:02
SPEAKER_03: And then but if he keeps going the thousand's to the side and he has to go for the next thing.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes, like whichever.
19:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he'll lose a thousand.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what he said.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: And then so they pulled out the ones after that, five hundred, two fifty, fifty bucks.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: So you made a good choice.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: But when he was like, I'm stopping at the thousand, everybody was like, Boo.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: Even Bob Barker was like, none of y'all got a thousand dollars in your hand.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Like you know what I mean?
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh thousand dollars was a lot back then.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Damn right.
19:32
SPEAKER_03: I still would take a thousand dollars now.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh go out to dinner with it.
19:37
unknown: Pretty much.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, dinner.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Grocery shopping for a couple days.
19:44
SPEAKER_03: Um one gallon of gas.
19:48
SPEAKER_03: Anyways.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: You know what my problem with these high-ass gas prices.
19:52
SPEAKER_03: Oh, this uh here we go.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: The gas is almost six dollars a gallon right now, and they got the fucking audacity to still be self-service.
20:02
SPEAKER_03: I think there's only two states that have full service, right?
20:06
SPEAKER_03: Jersey and Oregon.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Oregon.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: I have no idea.
20:09
SPEAKER_03: I think Jersey is full service.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: At least it was.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: At least one other.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh but Oregon, yeah, it it's actually against the law for you to pump your own gas.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: You should get like a free bag of chips or something.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Something.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Like something, man.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: A blowjob with every full tank.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: Like I'll fucking.
20:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can't condone that.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Because most of the and most gas stations I go to these days is guys working there.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: Listen.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: Nah, listen, listen.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Hey, look.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Nah, I don't need the premium.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: Just yeah, see, if you buy the premium, we'll hook you up with a lot, lizard.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: That's all we're saying.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Man.
20:57
SPEAKER_03: I I know.
20:58
SPEAKER_03: I think those two things should be.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Just give me some sunflower seeds.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: That's I'm cool with that.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: Some barbecue.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: Maybe, maybe a Gatorade.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I got like, I don't know how much this actually is, but you know, people talk about being rich and the difference between rich and wealthy and stuff like that.
21:18
SPEAKER_03: Chris Rock has the best on that.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: He did.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: I love his rich and wealthy with Shaq.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: So good, yeah.
21:24
SPEAKER_03: I'm talking about rich.
21:25
SPEAKER_03: Or no, I'm talking about wealthy.
21:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm not talking about rich.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: He's like, rich Shaq.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm finally kind of wealthy.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: I got like 20,000 uh 7-Eleven points of accumulator.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: I haven't used any over like five, six, seven years of going to 7-Eleven.
21:46
SPEAKER_03: Now I I love I mean I have to go back.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: I love that Chris Rock just because I was saying, like, like I'm not talking about rich and talking about wealthy.
21:51
SPEAKER_03: Rich is Shaq.
21:52
SPEAKER_03: Wealthy's the guy who signed Shaq's signs.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: Shaq's checks.
21:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:56
SPEAKER_03: I mean, say that's 10 times fast.
21:58
SPEAKER_03: I know.
21:58
SPEAKER_03: Sean Shah Shaq.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: Time checks check.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: God damn it.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: But it's such a good perspective.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: Because like yeah, I think as someone who if you're not thinking about it, you're like, yeah, just imagine how many people's checks I could sign with those points.
22:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I know.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: A lot.
22:18
SPEAKER_03: I know.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: Unlimited Slurpees.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: When you Google my net worth, you have to count that for real.
22:24
SPEAKER_03: But not the you don't want the IRS to know that because then they start taxing you on it.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's not, I haven't claimed it yet, so you know.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't owe nobody.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just there.
22:33
SPEAKER_03: Is it like an arcade where you keep accumulating points and you can like pick higher on the It's like this, Lisa?
22:40
SPEAKER_00: Lisa!
22:44
SPEAKER_03: Name change.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: I could basically walk into 7-Eleven and get anything I want.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's like.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: Anywhere in the United States.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Or abroad, I would imagine.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: That's real wealth.
22:55
SPEAKER_03: Does your wife like she kind of is she getting a little attitude about it where she's like, mm, this guy?
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes she asks for bags all the time now.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: It's just, you know, I guess she don't think about how much it costs no more.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Nah, it's uh it costs of a big bite is getting out of control.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're talking about crime.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: Price is right.
23:22
SPEAKER_03: We're talking about gas point.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, see, see, I think I'm like the equivalent to 7-Eleven of what this guy is, the price is right.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: Like I figured it out.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: I beat the system, man.
23:33
SPEAKER_03: I think where we last left off was the$1,000 punch a bunch.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: So when 7-Eleven starts selling houses, I will be able to buy one.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Seriously.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Think about it, man.
23:45
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: That would be awesome.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, I got$438,000 points.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: I'll make a damn payment, right?
23:57
SPEAKER_00: That's probably like that's probably the equivalent of like$300, to be honest.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: It's like, fuck.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Nah,$700,000.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: Is that am I a criminal for that?
24:10
SPEAKER_03: I think the problem though, if you have a 7-Eleven house, you're guaranteed to have like the shower doesn't work because you know how like the slurping machine seems like it's always out.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: So and apparently a lot of the workers stink.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: So I was getting ready to say it's gonna smell pretty funny in your crib, too.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you might be right.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: Well, almost every time I walk into a 7-Eleven, it stinks.
24:30
SPEAKER_03: And instead of a stove, you have just like the Tijuana dogs just on a roll.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: Just give me like four more years, then, and then uh I can afford that shower.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: And a hibachi grill.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: More points.
24:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, my work, somebody has like a hibachi girl at my work, and I'm I'm so impressed.
24:51
SPEAKER_03: No, at work, they have it like in the in the uh kitchenette area, and it's like a hibachi girl.
24:58
SPEAKER_03: And uh every time I go in there, I'm like, what are we in?
25:01
SPEAKER_03: Beni Hanna's here?
25:01
SPEAKER_03: Like, what's going on?
25:02
SPEAKER_03: But I'm impressed.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's like, well, may I it looks like a hibachi situation to me.
25:09
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's not the same idea.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: Kind of that's pretty fancy.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: I guess it depends on whether you're flipping the shit around or not.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: That would benefit people.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: I feel like that's pretty fancy for a kitchenette.
25:19
SPEAKER_03: Like, I I mean, I just do microwave.
25:21
SPEAKER_03: I just keep it real, you know.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: Now that's criminal.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Microwave?
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, see?
25:26
SPEAKER_00: All right you are criminal.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: Dang, don't tell no don't tell nobody at work you use a microwave.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Don't say that shit.
25:32
SPEAKER_03: They see me doing it.
25:32
SPEAKER_03: I commit the crime every time.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: That's insane.
25:35
SPEAKER_03: Two minutes.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Blasphemy.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: What do you what are you putting in the microwave?
25:38
SPEAKER_03: Oh, just boring killing all nutrients, meal, meal prep stuff.
25:42
SPEAKER_03: Trying to keep that little z.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: One little sliver of chicken and some fucking like some quinoa.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: You look like a quinoa.
25:51
SPEAKER_03: I it just depends.
25:52
SPEAKER_03: I just whatever.
25:53
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's like sometimes it's like a chili.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but not a little seasoning, if you know what I mean.
25:58
SPEAKER_03: I was getting ready to ask.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: I didn't I didn't have a lot of faith.
26:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're not gonna be able to do that.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: I didn't assume either.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't assume that the I did.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: That it was like well seasoned.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:09
SPEAKER_03: No, it's just got just bland.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you look like your taste buds draw the line of salt and pepper.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean there's nothing wrong with that, because it is healthy though.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: Trying to stay healthy.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: What the Monday through private.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: There's no calories in seasonings.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, seasoning comes at a cost, man.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: No, it's just fucking high blood pressure.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: That's the cost.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: If you if you're using pre-made seasonings with a bunch of sodium.
26:30
SPEAKER_03: Anytime you have salt, though.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: Anything, yeah.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: A lot of things have sodium.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: Like uh specifically seasonings.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about like vegetables.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about seasoning, like legit spices and shit.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: Man, I don't live in no jungle.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where to get all that shit.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Come on, bro.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Didn't you tell me you're from New Orleans?
26:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but come on, damn! No, I get it.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: There's the Holy Trinity of seasonings, uh, which is celery, bell pepper, and onion, right?
26:59
SPEAKER_00: Damn.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: But I'm talking about like garlic powder and no sodium in that.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm sure there's some in there.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure they add shit in it.
27:08
SPEAKER_03: No.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: It's fucking powdered garlic.
27:12
SPEAKER_03: On this episode of Culinary Criminal.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: But what about um What about body uh?
27:20
SPEAKER_00: We use body uh a lot.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: And what about seasonal?
27:22
SPEAKER_00: We use season all a lot.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: Tony statures.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all that shit is creo seasoning.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: It's got sodium.
27:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, but that's seasoning, bro.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: Right, but the the my point is that it has a recipe, bro.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: And if you just take out the sodium.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: How do you gonna get a salty taste without using salt?
27:37
SPEAKER_01: You still put salt, my dude.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: Back to sodium.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: Sodium.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Y'all ain't hearing me, bro.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: And then some seasonings have cholesterol.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: A lot.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: Bro, you put pork meat and uh salt meat in your food when you cook.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: You don't put that in like collard greens or your red beans and rice.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you use a big old slab of bacon fat.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: I acknowledge that that's not good for you.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but there's all sorts of ham hot, you know what I'm saying?
28:07
SPEAKER_00: That's cholesterol.
28:09
SPEAKER_03: Now we're onto cholesterol criminals, so let's keep it going.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: Look, I know a thing or two about cholesterol, though.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Shit, I had high cholesterol.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: I went and got a I don't even know what you call that shit.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: I got my shit checked.
28:23
SPEAKER_03: Your blood?
28:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, blood blood panel.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: I did that.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I gave blood and they told me I had cholesterol.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, well, give me my blood back.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: Is that curable?
28:36
SPEAKER_03: When you got your blood drawn, they they actually saw the oil separate from the blood, and they're like, oh.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: It smells good.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: This this is problematic here.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Smells like gumbo.
28:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, New Orleans.
28:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh, this food is so good there.
28:50
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
28:51
SPEAKER_03: I love uh oysters Rockefeller.
28:53
SPEAKER_03: So good.
28:54
SPEAKER_00: I don't eat oysters, I eat fried oysters, I don't eat raw oysters, but I eat everything else.
28:59
SPEAKER_03: Oysters Rockefeller is like where they put all the cheese and spinach and cook it.
29:03
SPEAKER_03: So good.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: You eat downtown, I could tell.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: When you when you went there.
29:07
SPEAKER_03: I I Where'd you eat at?
29:08
SPEAKER_00: Like Drago's?
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
29:10
SPEAKER_03: We went we went to uh the uh the Pearl of the South.
29:14
unknown: Oh yeah.
29:15
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't know.
29:16
SPEAKER_03: And then uh we went to is it Gaia, how do you say Gaia Tell Guy Tories or something like that?
29:23
SPEAKER_03: I don't remember how to say it.
29:24
SPEAKER_03: So it's with a G.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: I don't go eat that.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: I ain't never eat that.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then I had a friend who was living in uh the French Quarter, and she took us to a place off to the side.
29:33
SPEAKER_03: I can't remember.
29:34
SPEAKER_03: I'd have to look it up, drones or something.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: You gotta go to uh you gotta go to like Manchus or like uh Broad and Bank, seafood or something, like somewhere in the neighborhood, somewhere, you know.
29:45
SPEAKER_03: We did do a drive-by of uh Jake, Jakes and Snakes or something, or Snake and Jakes.
29:50
SPEAKER_03: You don't know what that is?
29:51
SPEAKER_03: Like the Christmas bar?
29:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I mean I don't I don't so like I don't go to that area a lot, like the French Quarter and Bourbon Street and stuff.
30:00
SPEAKER_03: But that's like outside of the French Quarter, isn't it?
30:01
SPEAKER_00: Kind of Jake and Snakes, yeah.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where it's at.
30:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, it's just like I think it's just outside.
30:06
SPEAKER_03: It's like kind of in a neighborhood, it's like a divy looking bar.
30:09
SPEAKER_03: It looks like it's called the It's called the Christmas bar.
30:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm telling, I'm telling a New Orleans native about it.
30:13
SPEAKER_03: Come on.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Jake's snakes, yeah.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: I don't go there.
30:16
SPEAKER_03: Have you heard of it though?
30:17
SPEAKER_00: I've heard of it.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't go there.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: I've never been.
30:19
SPEAKER_03: No, we did it, we I haven't been there, no.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:22
SPEAKER_03: We did it sounds so we did a drive-by, but we it was like I don't remember why we didn't go in, but we went by it's supposed to be like a Christmas bar or something, I think, year round.
30:30
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: Anyways, yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_03: Looks it looks divided, but look fun.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, but I it's a lot of things like um like it's different, like um like especially like when I was young, like I ain't have no money, so like I'm not seeing I'm not I I couldn't even afford to be in uh certain places out there that a lot of people who visit they experience different things, like because um you know it just depends on I'm trying my best not to say like white and black, you know what I'm saying?
31:04
SPEAKER_00: It's two different like experiences.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: For sure like uh and Hispanic, you know, because uh it's just different, you know.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've never been to Jason Snakes.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: That's like it's just yeah, I know like I said, I just did a drive-by, it looked really fun.
31:20
SPEAKER_03: I ever talks about it, it's it's supposed to like it.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: I know some people that go there.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: I know um uh people that go to like there's a lot of places.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: Like it's a real famous place called Tippetinas, and I've been there, but I don't that's not somewhere like I go to, you know what I'm saying?
31:34
SPEAKER_03: Did you go to Lafayette's bar?
31:36
SPEAKER_03: The world's oldest, or the not the world, sorry.
31:39
SPEAKER_03: Let me strike that.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: Uh strike that from the record.
31:41
SPEAKER_03: Uh the supposedly like the oldest tavern in America.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but no, you know what I'm saying?
31:48
SPEAKER_03: Like well, how about this?
31:49
SPEAKER_03: If you want uh NyQuil freezing, like like frozen NyQuil, that's where you go.
31:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
31:57
SPEAKER_03: It's like Slurpee of uh NyQuil, and you're just like a Decoring?
32:02
SPEAKER_00: I'll totally try that.
32:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it it was like this purple, I don't know, it it was delicious, but I could only do like five sips, and then I was like, okay, because it's really sugary too.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: Did you uh did you get hand grenades?
32:15
SPEAKER_03: Uh you know, it's so funny.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: So one of my brothers was like, when you go there, he's like, whatever you do, he's like, if you get if you get anything, he's like, only get one hand grenade or one hurricane.
32:23
SPEAKER_03: Don't do them all.
32:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:25
SPEAKER_03: Because you'll be hurting in the nose.
32:28
SPEAKER_03: I didn't do a hand grenade, no.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: The hand grenades, like, it don't taste like alcohol, it just tastes so good.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: So they'll you'll drink one so fast, yeah, not even realizing you'll be pretty fucked up.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:41
SPEAKER_03: It I every time I've only been twice, loved it both times.
32:45
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I've only done like like hunger, like I haven't done much like in the French quarter because when I was younger, I'd only go there to try to highlight girls, tourist girls.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: And um and then as I was older, uh because I worked in that area, I worked on Canal Street at the uh Sheraton and the Marriott.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: And so after work, I'd go hang out in the French quarter, watch performers.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: But I was still too young to drink and stuff, so I didn't go in a lot of bars.
33:17
SPEAKER_00: Um But what I did do, like I would go into like other spots, you know what I'm saying?
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Like uh that were like just hole in the walls, you know what I'm saying?
33:28
SPEAKER_00: Like one of them was called the kick at uh kickback bar, you know what I'm saying?
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Like off of Claiborne.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: It's just like a place as big as this room, literally, bro.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: But it would be like packed.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: That'd be the best shit.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: But I'd be like 17 in there, you know what I'm saying?
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh too young to be there, but be there, but I could get in though, you know.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't get into the cell phone bourbon, uh, or in that fr in the French quarter on over on Frenchman, because that's where a lot of uh a lot of clubs at over on Frenchman, um clubs and bars and stuff.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: But now when I go and I go to places like that, I'm like, oh shit, this is what this place is, or this is what this place that I've heard other people talk about that whether they might not even be from there and they'll know about a spot.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, damn, and then I'll be like, oh, this is what this is.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: But other than that, I'll go to like the canal bus stop, I'll go to like Rhythm City.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: I lived in the hood, you know what I'm saying?
34:20
SPEAKER_00: So I was doing a bunch of like black shit, you know what I'm saying?
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Like different stuff, you know what I'm saying?
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And I was being a criminal, like I was committing crimes then perfect, perfect person to have on the podcast.
34:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, one one funny thing, my friend lit lived in New Orleans.
34:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh she was going to school at LSU, but living in the French quarter.
34:39
SPEAKER_03: And one of her friends after class was like, Oh, let me buy you a cocktail.
34:42
SPEAKER_03: She's like, I'm driving home.
34:43
SPEAKER_03: She's like, that's okay, just let me buy a cocktail.
34:45
SPEAKER_03: She's like, Well, I don't want to drink it right now.
34:46
SPEAKER_03: She's like, just take it with you.
34:47
SPEAKER_03: So you can have an open container in your car in Louisiana.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: You could have, but it's gotta, it's rules though.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: She put a she put a uh she put a she had a straw, but she had like a napkin over the top, and that's how she drove home.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: But the way you do when you go to the daiquiri shop, because you can go through a drive-through daiquiri shop and get that, but they'll give you the daiquiri with the straw on top taped on top of the lid.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: So once you take that shit off, it's on you, but you could have it there, you know what I'm saying?
35:19
SPEAKER_00: But uh, but if if they pull you over and they could tell it's been you done started drinking and shit, they'll give you a DWI.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: Because out there it's called DWI.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: Right.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: Out here it's D-U-I.
35:29
SPEAKER_02: Right.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: But it's the same thing, driving while intoxicated, driving under influence.
35:33
SPEAKER_00: But uh, yeah, they do do that.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: And you can walk around with all your liquor and stuff uh out there, and everything is 24 hours out there, like it's an alcohol, 24 hours.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 24-7.
35:46
SPEAKER_00: And um, you can get it anywhere.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: Fucking the gas station, Walgreens, Walmart.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: Fucking Louisiana was an authority, boy.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but man, but they and it you would have thought, or I would have that weed would have been legal out there like a lot sooner.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: It's just it's just now being legalized, but right now it's just like medical, you know what I'm saying?
36:08
SPEAKER_00: But they'll probably have recreational soon enough.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they have to, or else they're missing out on like billions of dollars, you know what I'm saying?
36:17
SPEAKER_03: Well, speaking of dollars, back to the punch game.
36:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, we're doing a podcast.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh, where the fuck were we?
36:29
SPEAKER_03: The punch, he got a thousand dollars.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: All right, so you know you win the game or whatever, you you go up and you do the spin at the end.
36:37
SPEAKER_01: Uh which he did not win.
36:40
SPEAKER_03: Huh?
36:40
SPEAKER_01: He did not win the spin.
36:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
36:43
SPEAKER_03: Still a game of chance.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
36:45
SPEAKER_03: Can't guess that one.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: So it it's been like up and down for him, and then the rules at the time said Or around, if you will.
36:54
SPEAKER_01: Uh the rules at the time said that if uh if you get on, like to bid and shit, then you can never go back on again.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: Like you can still come to the tapings, but you can't get picked.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: You mean to the to the front.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: If you get to contestants row, you mean?
37:10
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:10
SPEAKER_03: So once you've been in contestants row, you can never be a contestant again.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: At this time.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: They ended up changing it later on to where after ten years you can come back.
37:18
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: Uh which plays a role in the the most interesting part of the story, in my opinion.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: Um but like he went on, he won a thousand dollars, which I think he actually won like eleven hundred uh in change.
37:37
SPEAKER_01: Because he got the you get a hundred for getting the the price exactly on the news.
37:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh but after taxes we're talking like six hundred and fifty bucks.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: After twenty-four fucking tapings.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: Disappointment, yeah, at its finest, I would think.
37:54
SPEAKER_01: And then now you can't fucking ever go back on there.
37:58
SPEAKER_01: But he keeps going to tapings.
38:01
SPEAKER_01: He keeps going to tapings and he's still sitting in the crowd fucking.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: I would just man, you seem like he would have put an earpiece in somebody's ear by now.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
38:10
SPEAKER_01: He didn't need to.
38:11
SPEAKER_01: He could literally sit in the crowd and shout out the right price.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: Like, there was no ring against him.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: It seems like he would have to have somebody on his side to do it.
38:19
SPEAKER_01: So so he did.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: That's what ended up happening.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: He had, it was like a friend or a family member was telling him that he was telling him he was gonna do the same thing that Theodore said he was gonna do.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: He was like, I'm gonna go up there, I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna win a new car, I'm gonna fucking get a showcase and get the dollar and and win the showcase.
38:44
SPEAKER_01: Um and and dude does exactly that.
38:49
SPEAKER_01: He goes up there, he gets the the bid, he gets all the bids exactly right.
38:54
SPEAKER_01: Uh, cause Theodore's in the crowd telling him the fucking prices.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: And he goes and he spends the fucking dollar and he fucking wins the showcase.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: But did he split, did he break bread with Theo?
39:06
SPEAKER_00: Dude, no.
39:07
SPEAKER_00: That's the that's what I'm saying.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what a fucking asshole.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's fucked up.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: You gotta get some, you gotta get like your wife to go on there or some shit, or like your sister, like like uh something like that.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: Your mom?
39:19
SPEAKER_00: Your mom.
39:21
SPEAKER_00: Your daddy.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: Fucking yeah.
39:24
SPEAKER_01: And then uh at his last taping, he was waiting out line outside in the line, and the dude in front of him had had called his wife and was like, hey, we're gonna start moving soon.
39:35
SPEAKER_01: You wanna come over from the parking lot?
39:38
SPEAKER_01: And Theodore was like, Look, this isn't the greatest neighborhood, because you know they're at CBS studios fucking in LA.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Uh so he's like, This isn't the greatest neighborhood.
39:49
SPEAKER_01: Go get your wife, and I'll hold your spot in line.
39:52
SPEAKER_01: So he does that, and then they get in, and the guy whose spot in line that he was holding got up, and uh Theodore's giving him all the bids all the way up to the end, like he made it all the way to the showcase.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: Theodore gave him the exact fucking bid for the showcase, like to the dollar.
40:14
SPEAKER_01: And that had never happened before on the show.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: So they're all fucking throwing a fucking uh they're all in a tizzy.
40:22
SPEAKER_03: Wait, did when he was in line though, did he tell the guy, like, listen to me if you get called?
40:26
SPEAKER_01: No.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: Um he told him after the fact.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: Like they all ended up sitting next to each other because they were in line next to each other.
40:34
SPEAKER_03: Before the guy got called to Contestants Row, he's like, hey, look, I know all the answers.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:38
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so he so he knew before he got on Contestants Row to talk to Teddy.
40:42
SPEAKER_03: Okay, got it.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: He did.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Um and then Theodore didn't want to draw a lot of attention to himself, but he had already told uh the guy's wife uh the exact price for the showcase.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: But then he tried telling the guy a different price, like close enough to where it wouldn't be auspicious.
41:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:10
SPEAKER_01: Um his name was Terry Nees, the guy that went on to win the so if you guessed the showcase number within a certain range, you get both showcases.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: To the dollar.
41:21
SPEAKER_03: I think it's within a certain range.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: I thought it was like a fifty I thought, I don't know.
41:25
SPEAKER_00: Within a hundred dollars.
41:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think it's like within a hundred dollars, you if you get both you can get.
41:29
SPEAKER_00: It's like within a hundred dollars.
41:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
41:31
SPEAKER_03: Because that would be pretty that would be pretty impossible to get.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you're like seventeen thousand five hundred and sixty-two dollars or that was essentially exactly what it was like he it was like$10,374 or something like that.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they don't even do cents.
41:46
SPEAKER_03: It's called exaggeration.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: But if you get within a hundred dollars, then you win both of them.
41:50
SPEAKER_00: He got it right on the fucking nugget.
41:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if you if you if you're like$70,563, that would probably be red flags.
41:59
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
42:00
SPEAKER_01: The producer's having a shit fit.
42:02
SPEAKER_01: Drew Carey thinks he's getting fired.
42:05
SPEAKER_01: He's like, I don't even know if we're gonna air this episode because it was a whole debacle.
42:09
SPEAKER_01: No one had ever done that before.
42:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then like they have him on tape, like looking to see, but there's no fucking rule against it.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: So they were trying to accuse the guy of cheating.
42:21
SPEAKER_01: Uh the guy, Terry, maintains that it was all him.
42:24
SPEAKER_01: Like he, of course.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm not telling.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
42:29
SPEAKER_03: Uh but I I mean honestly, I don't think it's I wouldn't think it's necessary.
42:36
SPEAKER_03: I don't think it's necessarily like hardcore cheating, because I mean these are prices that are out in the wild that you can just as if you can memorize them and you can calculate them together.
42:46
SPEAKER_01: He developed a fucking program on his computer, like a whole game.
42:50
SPEAKER_03: Right.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: Like it'll give you random items and you fucking guess the price, and it tells you whether or not and it had like 1800 items.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he said he would run through it in like an hour.
43:01
SPEAKER_03: Right.
43:02
SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
43:03
SPEAKER_03: But that's what I'm saying.
43:03
SPEAKER_03: Like he studied and then he got to the test, he took the test.
43:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he technically didn't cheat.
43:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:08
SPEAKER_01: No, he didn't cheat at all.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: That that was the the thing that I found like most interesting.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: Like he didn't fucking he did all that work and for nothing.
43:21
SPEAKER_01: For fucking nothing.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: But how I mean I mean, it was probably fun.
43:28
SPEAKER_01: Well yeah, and he he seemed like in the I watched the documentary about it, he seemed like he had a good time.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I would try to do it now, you know, like shoot.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure he's still good at it.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: You said he still goes on the show now?
43:43
SPEAKER_01: Uh I think the 36th was his last taping, but don't hold me to that.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: But uh since that happened, they've started rotating the the fucking items the items to the point where like it'll never happen again.
43:58
SPEAKER_00: It could happen, I'm sure, bro.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Because if you categorize certain items, it's a way to do it.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be around about the same price.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: Because you don't have to be exactly on the money.
44:09
SPEAKER_00: You just gotta be within close enough the range.
44:11
SPEAKER_00: And then, bruh, it's it's a way to that's the thing.
44:15
SPEAKER_00: See, like, I'll start like a criminal mastermind plan, and then just I'll be like, fuck this shit.
44:21
SPEAKER_00: I get too tired.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, that's like too much shit.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, it's overwhelming.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: Because that's why I used to want to be like a criminal mastermind.
44:29
SPEAKER_00: But like, for me, like I was a thief, right?
44:33
SPEAKER_00: And like I thought this shit was so genius.
44:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, looking back, it's like every thief does this.
44:38
SPEAKER_01: This is regular thief shit.
44:40
SPEAKER_00: I used to still close out the store once upon a time, and I would, well, the way I would do it, and I thought it was so genius, bro.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: I'll grab two of the same outfit off the rack, but it on camera, it kind of looks like I'm just grabbing one.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: I'll go to the dressing room, put one on underneath my outfit, and then come back out with the other one, and it looks like I tried it on, come hung it back.
45:04
SPEAKER_03: That's really smart.
45:05
SPEAKER_03: You're not getting it.
45:06
SPEAKER_03: That's what I thought.
45:06
SPEAKER_03: Did you get away with that?
45:07
SPEAKER_00: I got away with it so many times, right?
45:10
SPEAKER_00: So much so that one time that I got caught, right?
45:15
SPEAKER_00: But nah, I didn't get caught doing that part.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: When they caught me, they didn't even realize I had the shit on under my clothes because I had grabbed something else and put it in my bag, and I thought I did it slick enough, but they definitely saw me on camera.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: And so they were getting me for the shit in my bag.
45:31
SPEAKER_00: They didn't even know I had an outfit on under my clothes.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: So I still got away with that outfit.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: They got the shit that was in the bag.
45:37
SPEAKER_00: I still got away with the outfit that was underneath.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: But I definitely got uh probation though.
45:42
SPEAKER_03: See, you're smart.
45:43
SPEAKER_03: You bought things like or sorry, not you bought you, you opposite of correction correction corner.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, you were taking things that were non-perishable.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: My uncle worked at the grocery store, and he was a big big guy, and he would see people stealing.
45:58
SPEAKER_03: And one time he saw a guy stealing ice cream, so he goes, I'm just gonna need you to stand it against the wall for for a bit.
46:05
SPEAKER_03: And he waited, and then all of a sudden the ice cream started melting down.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
46:09
SPEAKER_00: I got fired for stealing meat from a grocery store.
46:12
SPEAKER_00: Really?
46:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I worked at the grocery store, and what was the cut that you stole?
46:17
SPEAKER_00: Here's a prime it was prime.
46:19
SPEAKER_00: Ribe.
46:20
SPEAKER_00: No, look, no, check it out.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: This is what happened, right?
46:23
SPEAKER_00: There's a bunch of