Latest / Bomb Life / From Anxious to Unstoppable with Lisa Skeffington |316
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_02]: dealing with the emotional charge of what's happened and releasing that to move forward.
- 0:05[SPEAKER_02]: Not about unraveling and having to go over stuff and over stuff and over stuff.
- 0:11[SPEAKER_02]: And that's where certain types of traditional therapy.
- 0:14[SPEAKER_02]: They spend too much time stuck in that place when really what we need is dynamics strategic.
- 0:21[SPEAKER_02]: Clarity to move forward quickly and efficiently because it's the learning that we need to get from that and it's the emotional charge that we need to release.
- 0:46[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Bond Life Podcast where fitness, vines, and real talk collide.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_00]: This is it just about workouts.
- 0:51[SPEAKER_00]: It's about transforming your body, mind, and life.
- 0:54[SPEAKER_00]: Get ready for unfiltered conversations, expert advice, and the motivation you need to level up in every way.
- 1:14[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Bomb Life podcast.
- 1:17[SPEAKER_00]: I am Melissa Vogel, you're host welcome to the show.
- 1:21[SPEAKER_00]: If you are brand new, welcome.
- 1:23[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so happy that you landed on this episode.
- 1:25[SPEAKER_00]: It is going to be a good one.
- 1:26[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're returning listener, welcome back.
- 1:28[SPEAKER_00]: This show is not possible without you.
- 1:30[SPEAKER_00]: As always, make sure you rate and review this episode.
- 1:34[SPEAKER_00]: And this podcast, not just this episode, this entire podcast, five stars if you feel appropriately review.
- 1:39[SPEAKER_00]: There's so many of you that listen that are like, you know what?
- 1:41[SPEAKER_00]: I've never reviewed it.
- 1:42[SPEAKER_00]: I hear her say it all the time.
- 1:43[SPEAKER_00]: So please make time and space to do that.
- 1:45[SPEAKER_00]: God, you guys, it's been a whirlwind.
- 1:48[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I haven't recorded in a really long time because I've had so much travel and things come up lately for me.
- 1:55[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of plot twists in my life lately and I know you guys listen every single week and I stand top of all my recordings and stuff, but in this one's
- 2:02[SPEAKER_00]: kind of in real time.
- 2:03[SPEAKER_00]: This one's this one's a little bit of real time because I wanted to push this one out sooner rather than later because I love this topic, so I can be picky about that.
- 2:10[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, life has thrown a lot of twists and like I said, plot twist in my life lately and it's it's left me traveling a lot and just kind of scrambling and figuring things out and I have to say that's like I bring that up because
- 2:23[SPEAKER_00]: I have done.
- 2:24[SPEAKER_00]: I personally have done a lot of work and this is all going to tie into today's episode, but I have personally done a lot of work, a lot of therapy, non-traditional therapy, EMDR.
- 2:35[SPEAKER_00]: I have dove in and uncovered some of my childhood trauma.
- 2:38[SPEAKER_00]: And I have grown so much.
- 2:41[SPEAKER_00]: I have failed in so many areas with my health and my fitness and I have succeeded in so many areas.
- 2:46[SPEAKER_00]: And I am just so grateful for all of that.
- 2:49[SPEAKER_00]: I'm grateful for the work that I've done in therapy.
- 2:52[SPEAKER_00]: I'm grateful for honestly I'm grateful for like the trauma that I've gone through is like as crazy as that sounds, but it all has shaped me to be who I am today.
- 3:00[SPEAKER_00]: And all of the madness and the craziness that I deal with, it helps me be the coach that I am today.
- 3:06[SPEAKER_00]: You guys can't bullshit a bullshitter.
- 3:08[SPEAKER_00]: right you you just can't and or we can't I don't know why I said you guys we can't bullshit a bullshitter when someone has done what we have done or what we've been through or can understand our experiences and can relate and then they can help you grow from their growth oh my god
- 3:25[SPEAKER_00]: It is the only way to go.
- 3:27[SPEAKER_00]: That is who we listen to in our guest today comes from a lot of personal experience too.
- 3:33[SPEAKER_00]: And again, that's what makes her amazing.
- 3:34[SPEAKER_00]: I've had so many guests on that I always start off and like tell you about your background.
- 3:38[SPEAKER_00]: Like how did you lead into this?
- 3:39[SPEAKER_00]: Like I always like to know more about the guest and learn while you guys are learning.
- 3:43[SPEAKER_00]: And
- 3:44[SPEAKER_00]: everyone who has just been like incredible mind-blowing their podcast their book there, you know, whatever is just like damn that's that's some shit that is good.
- 3:54[SPEAKER_00]: All of them have been through something insane and have done the work and come out and then create it whatever it is that they offer now and you never know how much
- 4:06[SPEAKER_00]: more growth you're going to have from you working on you and healing.
- 4:11[SPEAKER_00]: And I know going through trauma going through your past.
- 4:15[SPEAKER_00]: It's like I don't want to do that.
- 4:17[SPEAKER_00]: I don't got time for that.
- 4:18[SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.
- 4:18[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm successful.
- 4:20[SPEAKER_00]: And our guest works with Heidi and people as well.
- 4:22[SPEAKER_00]: And
- 4:23[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we think, like, no, I'm good.
- 4:25[SPEAKER_00]: Like, seriously, I'm fine.
- 4:27[SPEAKER_00]: I'm making money.
- 4:28[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing good.
- 4:29[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't, I got a wife and kids.
- 4:31[SPEAKER_00]: I got a husband and kids, like, my career, like, I'm fine.
- 4:34[SPEAKER_00]: But you don't realize how trapped you are.
- 4:37[SPEAKER_00]: And many people that are like super high achieving like that, we, I'm gonna put myself in the box with all of you, weren't afraid of unraveling.
- 4:45[SPEAKER_00]: right?
- 4:46[SPEAKER_00]: Like, shit, what if I lay all this stuff out and then I can't pick it back up?
- 4:49[SPEAKER_00]: And what if it really impacts me and rocks the boat?
- 4:52[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm telling you, if you have things going on currently or in the past, it is impacting your choices and your decisions of how to move forward with your health, with your fitness, with your job, with your career, how you parent all of it, in your relationship.
- 5:03[SPEAKER_00]: If you become like this emotional little moody bitch and you're like, god, I don't even know where that's coming from.
- 5:08[SPEAKER_00]: And this is for men and women.
- 5:10[SPEAKER_00]: It goes back to your past.
- 5:12[SPEAKER_00]: And some of you listening right now, I know we're doing the work and coaching.
- 5:16[SPEAKER_00]: I know there are several of you that are going to be listening right now going.
- 5:19[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we face a lot of that shit right now.
- 5:22[SPEAKER_00]: Melissa makes me see how it comes out, but it might need to go deeper.
- 5:25[SPEAKER_00]: It might have to.
- 5:26[SPEAKER_00]: Our guest today is Lisa Skeffington and she is the founder and managing director of her program Empower Momentum.
- 5:34[SPEAKER_00]: She's a self-esteem expert, a leading executive coach,
- 5:42[SPEAKER_00]: And she always asks the question, you know, what if the high-performing men and women who seem to have it all, or secretly carrying silent wounds behind in their success?
- 5:52[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so true.
- 5:53[SPEAKER_00]: And I ask the same question, you know, just because you're high-chieving and you got a lot going on and you're doing really good, it doesn't mean that you don't need help.
- 5:59[SPEAKER_00]: Lisa, she knows the story well, because she's a multi-work winning psychotherapist, like I said, everything that she does, and she supports hygiene people and leadership business and the celebrity world, and all these people are battling anxiety burnout, hidden trauma.
- 6:15[SPEAKER_00]: They have freakouts, you know, they lead with their emotions sometimes when they're home, maybe not at work, but at home they're like, that really got to me, and then I shut down, and I completely shut down, and in fact they're their relationships, you know, like you guys, if you this is you and I'm describing
- 6:28[SPEAKER_00]: And she helps people remove the mask, heal the emotional wounds, and step fully into their personal and professional power with confidence and clarity.
- 6:36[SPEAKER_00]: And like this is what today's conversation is all about.
- 6:39[SPEAKER_00]: There are so many good points that she was saying about like, you know, with therapy and how traditional therapy can fail us, but then also we were talking about like, how you must go all in.
- 6:48[SPEAKER_00]: You must go all in, I'm like, dude, can I?
- 6:50[SPEAKER_00]: relate to that with health and fitness.
- 6:52[SPEAKER_00]: There's so many things that she was saying and it could go back to health fitness coaching everything that we're doing too.
- 6:58[SPEAKER_00]: And shocked what labels and how we get labels put on this.
- 7:00[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, your ADHD.
- 7:02[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're this, you know, and then you guys we only grow as far as our label allows us.
- 7:07[SPEAKER_00]: How about that?
- 7:08[SPEAKER_00]: It's one of the ways that your traditional therapy can really fall or fail us because they're like, oh, you have this and it's sad But this is a great great Conversation you're going to love it in the show notes are all the links to follow Lisa Maybe work with her set up a call she's doing like free calls with people set up that consultation with her and then she gave us her website as well Where you can take a free self esteem quiz and this is for men and women
- 7:31[SPEAKER_00]: So, another great conversation, something to listen to, maybe this turns on a light bulb for you, and it just opens your eyes to a whole new picture, a whole new world, maybe it encourages you to pick up your phone and book a call, go to the links in the show notes, book a call with me.
- 7:48[SPEAKER_00]: See if, like, help it most that I've been listening for a while now, I know I need coaching, I know I need help, I know I need to be in your program, but I'm not.
- 7:54[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's maybe we just talk about like, what's holding you back?
- 7:58[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's where we start,
- 8:01[SPEAKER_00]: But I hope today just turns the light on for you and hope you rethink what's holding you back.
- 8:07[SPEAKER_00]: Where do you emotionally get stuck still?
- 8:09[SPEAKER_00]: All right, everyone.
- 8:10[SPEAKER_00]: Enjoy the show.
- 8:19[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Bob Live podcast.
- 8:23[SPEAKER_00]: Today we have Lisa, Skeffington, and welcome to the show Lisa.
- 8:27[SPEAKER_02]: Hello, and thank you very much for inviting me on.
- 8:30[SPEAKER_02]: That's a guest onto your wonderful show.
- 8:31[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to be here.
- 8:32[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm so excited to dive into every single thing that you do because you are a multiple award winning psychotherapist, self-esteem expert, an executive coach with, you work with like high achieving women.
- 8:46[SPEAKER_00]: You're the founder of the empowerment movement,
- 8:48[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Lisa, you do it all.
- 8:50[SPEAKER_00]: You do it all.
- 8:50[SPEAKER_00]: Your resume is very, very impressive.
- 8:53[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
- 8:54[SPEAKER_00]: Well, today we're going to talk like about anxiety anxious stepping forward becoming unstoppable.
- 9:01[SPEAKER_00]: Why therapy?
- 9:02[SPEAKER_00]: Traditional therapy doesn't necessarily work.
- 9:05[SPEAKER_00]: And I have a fun story with fitness and everything that I know I can totally relate to what you're saying because you do therapy.
- 9:12[SPEAKER_00]: Like you've done traditional therapy before with your clients.
- 9:14[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
- 9:15[SPEAKER_02]: Every day.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 9:17[SPEAKER_02]: But I do it with I do it in my way, in a way that's highly effective.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
- 9:22[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
- 9:22[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I got to know your backgroundly.
- 9:24[SPEAKER_00]: So like, how did you get into this?
- 9:26[SPEAKER_00]: How did you step into helping how you achieve women?
- 9:28[SPEAKER_00]: Why did you become a therapist?
- 9:29[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I have so many questions about your background.
- 9:31[SPEAKER_00]: How does that started for you?
- 9:33[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 9:34[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
- 9:34[SPEAKER_02]: So essentially, I grew up in a family with domestic violence.
- 9:40[UNKNOWN]: Mm-hmm.
- 9:40[SPEAKER_02]: So I have my very powerful story of rising through from trauma into time in my own life.
- 9:48[SPEAKER_02]: Now I live a wonderful, calm, happy life on the Dorset Coast in the UK.
- 9:54[SPEAKER_02]: As I grew and went into the professional world of work, I've been less than banking, of diplomatic work.
- 10:00[SPEAKER_02]: I appeared to be super confident because there was a part of me that felt, well, you know, well, if I could get out of my background, if I could survive that and get out, I could do anything.
- 10:12[SPEAKER_02]: But it was a superficial confidence because inside I was quaking, I was anxious, I was really doubting myself and I was really angry.
- 10:22[SPEAKER_02]: So it took until few years working through diplomatic work and then in an investment banking as well.
- 10:28[SPEAKER_02]: So then be married and have my beautiful daughter and the wheels came off.
- 10:33[SPEAKER_02]: I had a complete graphic down and my past course helped with me.
- 10:38[SPEAKER_02]: And from there I began to really
- 10:41[SPEAKER_02]: For the first time in my life, I began to own who I was.
- 10:45[SPEAKER_02]: And I began to realise that the beliefs that I had lived by were not actually mine.
- 10:50[SPEAKER_02]: They were adopted beliefs that had actually lost who I was.
- 10:54[SPEAKER_02]: So I set upon a journey to really discover who I was.
- 10:57[SPEAKER_02]: And from there I was so motivated.
- 10:59[SPEAKER_02]: So determined to bring this into other people who were also struggling, feeling lost, feeling damaged from a childhood,
- 11:11[SPEAKER_02]: And just as I felt for myself in diplomatic work in investment banking, that I was really living behind a mask, that I was projecting this outward success and outward competence, but inside I was really quite anxious.
- 11:28[SPEAKER_02]: I was really quite fearful that I would re-discover, that would be found out to be a fraud.
- 11:33[SPEAKER_02]: So I then moved into helping women and men,
- 11:37[SPEAKER_02]: who feel this way, who feel that they are living behind a mask.
- 11:43[SPEAKER_02]: And that's led to me to create my own way of working.
- 11:46[SPEAKER_02]: That kind of turns a lot of conventional therapy on its head, because I believe very much in being 100% real, 100% present, because we all wobble sometimes, don't we?
- 12:00[SPEAKER_02]: It's part of our human experience, isn't it?
- 12:03[SPEAKER_02]: So meeting people where they're at, using my own version of modalities of therapy combining therapy and coaching to provide psychodynamic mentoring for my clients has proved to be a real game changer in the therapy world.
- 12:20[SPEAKER_00]: interesting and so many people can relate to what you're saying like when you said like you've lost it like you had a breakdown I'm curious what did that look like for you because I know the moment like I lost it like and I think we all have that you know and I'm sure that's what makes you so relatable too is because you know you know what these people are going through what their past was and you know how they've rebuilt themselves but I can look back and I know that breaking moment
- 12:47[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure people are curious, like, what did that look like for you?
- 12:51[SPEAKER_00]: The moment you knew that like the wheels are off the bus, like, I have lost it.
- 12:55[SPEAKER_00]: I need to do something.
- 12:56[SPEAKER_00]: It becomes at moment of like, I need to shit or get off the pot.
- 12:58[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you have these things like that, then we're on that.
- 13:02[SPEAKER_00]: And I need to go somewhere and do something, you know?
- 13:05[SPEAKER_00]: But what did that look like for you?
- 13:07[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know all of our breakdowns are a little bit different.
- 13:09[SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't necessarily mean that you like once I go in our later on the floor, you know?
- 13:14[SPEAKER_00]: just drooling and babbling, what in your look like at that moment that you knew things had to change?
- 13:19[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sure.
- 13:20[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well I think the first thing to say is I've had a number of clients over years because of the experience that I had in my own life.
- 13:27[SPEAKER_02]: They said to me, you know, during after, you know, intense therapy sessions with them when we've really been in a dynamic and really helping to share, you know, with curiosity, they said to me a number of occasions.
- 13:39[SPEAKER_02]: How do you do that?
- 13:41[SPEAKER_02]: How do you know exactly what I need?
- 13:45[SPEAKER_02]: Just before I need it, how do you know that you don't get that from a course or from a training?
- 13:50[SPEAKER_02]: How do you know that?
- 13:51[SPEAKER_02]: And it's because there's not much that you could say to me that I have an experience for myself in terms of multiple layers of abuse of trauma.
- 14:02[SPEAKER_02]: And it just gives you that real insight, it's an intuition.
- 14:07[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 14:08[SPEAKER_02]: There's almost God led, let's say, because it's like it comes through you, not from you.
- 14:13[SPEAKER_02]: So what did it look like for me?
- 14:15[SPEAKER_02]: Well, when I was in my med teams, I had nervous convulsions because of the violence I was living in.
- 14:22[SPEAKER_02]: And then moving on to when my daughter was born, of course, little babies, they lie on the floor, don't they lie in there, in their pots, they crimps, they cry.
- 14:30[SPEAKER_02]: And I started to get flashbacks that that was me.
- 14:34[SPEAKER_02]: And I lost sense of reality between what was my daughter and what was me.
- 14:38[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 14:39[SPEAKER_02]: And then I would start to see my father, because he was the main perpetrator.
- 14:44[SPEAKER_02]: I would see him come in, pick up my baby girl.
- 14:49[SPEAKER_02]: laugh at me and drop her and she was smashed like a china doll.
- 14:54[SPEAKER_02]: And I kid you not, it was as real as I'm talking to you know.
- 14:57[SPEAKER_02]: And I was losing touch with reality.
- 15:01[SPEAKER_02]: My mind was just freaking out in terms of releasing past trauma reshaping it, making a sense of it that didn't make sense.
- 15:12[SPEAKER_02]: And I just began to break down.
- 15:14[SPEAKER_02]: had agrofobia panic attacks.
- 15:17[SPEAKER_02]: I remember how the postmen used to ring the doorbell and I would run and hide behind the sofa.
- 15:22[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's crazy is that.
- 15:24[SPEAKER_02]: But I found a wonderful, a wonderful lady who sits past actually, but she
- 15:29[SPEAKER_02]: She did what I do now.
- 15:31[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, I do more than what she did, but she got me on the path because it was so powerful for me in turning my life around and realizing the power was within me and that I was actually living somebody else's life that, you know, I'd been told endlessly that I was mad and that if I told anyone I would have been locked up.
- 15:52[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 15:53[SPEAKER_02]: You imagine what that does to a teenager.
- 15:55[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 15:56[SPEAKER_02]: There already has that fear of being seen.
- 15:58[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 15:59[SPEAKER_02]: Let's say yes.
- 16:00[SPEAKER_02]: So moving through all of that, got me into a very, very empathetic, very compassionate determined place to make a difference to anyone and everyone who has been abused, rat, terrified, confused in an earlier life.
- 16:20[SPEAKER_02]: and not able to fully break free from that, so that they can step into the tree, who they are, who they are, because we all deserve that, right?
- 16:29[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 16:30[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and it gets, it gets so confusing in our head, too, because we think that we're going crazy.
- 16:34[SPEAKER_00]: Like so many women can relate to your story, probably me and me down on that level, but somewhere close or something.
- 16:39[SPEAKER_00]: similar and we walk around and we're like, I'm losing it.
- 16:42[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having a midlife crisis.
- 16:44[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going crazy or I see a lot of people are like right now that they blame in their hormones.
- 16:49[SPEAKER_00]: So it's because my hormones are off and don't give me wrong hormones play a major role in it.
- 16:54[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's probably impacting a lot of women and making them feel crazy.
- 16:56[SPEAKER_00]: But also like,
- 16:58[SPEAKER_00]: going back what happened to you as a child, what unhealed trauma is in there that's still coming out at, you know, 47 years old, 37 years old, and they don't realize how much it's impacting them, and it's unhealed, and it's guiding them, and directing them, and changing them, and I'm so glad that you're just, you're sharing that story because we're not crazy.
- 17:20[SPEAKER_00]: There's things in there that can be undone and healed and fixed.
- 17:24[SPEAKER_02]: absolutely.
- 17:25[SPEAKER_01]: But people are talking about it.
- 17:27[SPEAKER_02]: And you know what, so many people who have, who talk about having anxiety or those confidence as a result of hormones, as a result of whether it's, you know, prenatal postnatal, very mental, postmenopause, whatever it might be, it's not the hormones that cause the shift.
- 17:48[SPEAKER_02]: It isn't.
- 17:49[SPEAKER_02]: The hormones are the tipping point.
- 17:51[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's simply bringing up what's already within you and we especially as women we've got very good up pushing down stuff and trying hard and pushing through that that's how women get to be so successful.
- 18:05[SPEAKER_02]: And often, over the years, all of that trauma just gets pushed down, it gets dismissed almost, doesn't it?
- 18:14[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes because we look at things with our adult eyes and then we kind of reshape it and we say, well, you know what, it's not such a big deal.
- 18:22[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 18:22[SPEAKER_02]: But we're looking at it through our adult eyes and we have to go back and look at it through our childhood eyes and see that actually for a child then that was really unbeconent that was really a big deal right and then we begin to realize that we've just stored it all down and the hormones really just open the door yeah and it begins to come up that took it in that
- 18:43[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 18:44[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I find it very interesting because I always bring everything back to fitness.
- 18:48[SPEAKER_00]: The health and how it's all connected.
- 18:50[SPEAKER_00]: And if you have that trauma or those beliefs from childhood or when you were a teenager, people don't see and realize how much that impacts the food choices that they make.
- 18:59[SPEAKER_00]: and how their body lives and how they work out or don't work out.
- 19:03[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you don't have that sense of worth and self-esteem and self-true self-lob and confidence, you will let yourself go.
- 19:11[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to put that to air quotes.
- 19:12[SPEAKER_00]: You'll let yourself go, because people say that all the time and let myself go, well, I'm going to be bold and say it.
- 19:17[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you love yourself enough and that, like, inner, like, God, I'm good.
- 19:22[SPEAKER_00]: I deserve this.
- 19:23[SPEAKER_00]: You'd have a rock in body.
- 19:25[SPEAKER_00]: Or be in the process of doing whatever you can to get there.
- 19:28[SPEAKER_00]: And then if it didn't work, figure out, well, why what went wrong?
- 19:31[SPEAKER_00]: You know, but if you're missing that foundation and that core self-esteem and self-worth, forget it, totally, totally.
- 19:40[SPEAKER_02]: You have to love and respect yourself enough as to feel your body in the right way that supports you.
- 19:48[SPEAKER_02]: Are you sure with the funny Lisa?
- 19:50[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, sorry.
- 19:50[SPEAKER_02]: Go ahead.
- 19:51[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I was going to say.
- 19:52[SPEAKER_02]: Your body is is is a mirror isn't it?
- 19:55[SPEAKER_02]: It's a reflection of what's really going on mentally and emotionally.
- 20:00[SPEAKER_02]: For example, a lot of.
- 20:02[SPEAKER_02]: a lot of people will, let's say, give what they need without realizing it.
- 20:08[SPEAKER_02]: So, for example, some partner may take their, there are the partner, a bowl of crisps, because they know their partner likes crisps.
- 20:18[SPEAKER_02]: instead of a bowl of fruit, they might take them a bowl of a bowl of crisp.
- 20:22[SPEAKER_02]: But what they're really saying is here have some love.
- 20:26[SPEAKER_02]: But if they're really respecting themselves and loving themselves fully fast, they would want to give them a bowl of fruit.
- 20:32[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because they'd want to share the love.
- 20:34[SPEAKER_02]: Either way, whenever we come back to food, it's very, very often connected to self-love.
- 20:41[SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, connected to either love for ourselves or wanting to give love away to others.
- 20:47[SPEAKER_02]: And that's how we get comforting, isn't it?
- 20:49[SPEAKER_02]: We're trying to give ourselves a love that in some ways in our life we feel that love's lacking.
- 20:55[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and with people listening, because I'm sure I always try to play devil's advocate, I'm sure someone's listening to that going and they're just thinking, well, how do I fix that?
- 21:02[SPEAKER_00]: How do I fix that, Lisa?
- 21:03[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how I not offer my partner that or not try to sue myself with that?
- 21:08[SPEAKER_00]: Because yeah, I get what you're saying right now.
- 21:10[SPEAKER_00]: And how do I fix that?
- 21:11[SPEAKER_00]: And, of course, it goes layers D, I'm sure, but people are like, no, just tell me how to fix it tonight.
- 21:18[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 21:18[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a pro sex.
- 21:19[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
- 21:20[SPEAKER_02]: But it isn't a pro sex that has to take forever.
- 21:24[SPEAKER_02]: I've had clients in the traditional way of therapy.
- 21:28[SPEAKER_02]: Being in therapy for 20, 180, 20, seven years in psychotherapy.
- 21:33[SPEAKER_02]: Another lay date and barista, all two years.
- 21:37[SPEAKER_02]: And you know,
- 21:41[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
- 21:42[SPEAKER_02]: And we work even more efficiently, even more quickly these days as well.
- 21:47[SPEAKER_02]: And she gave me a great testimonial actually that was the first person to offer me hope and results.
- 21:53[SPEAKER_02]: How good is that?
- 21:54[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
- 21:55[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 21:55[SPEAKER_02]: So, no, it's very much there's a huge, huge length between self-esteem and self-nutrition because whether it's food or whether it's whether it's physical affection,
- 22:10[SPEAKER_02]: It's all giving love, it's all giving love.
- 22:13[SPEAKER_00]: Which going back to what we were saying before, people give what they want and what they need, the person giving like, they need that love.
- 22:22[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so sad because I find so many people that they don't know how to communicate that to their partner, or even admit it or communicate that to themselves.
- 22:31[SPEAKER_00]: They don't know how to say and share like, this is what I need from you.
- 22:35[SPEAKER_00]: And then what I find too, maybe we can dive into this little bit, they find that when they do share things with their partner, the partner goes, well, I'm doing it wrong.
- 22:45[SPEAKER_00]: Like what I'm doing isn't good enough, and they take it personal.
- 22:48[SPEAKER_00]: So here we have a partner sharing with someone like, hey, this is what I need from you.
- 22:52[SPEAKER_00]: I need more.
- 22:53[SPEAKER_00]: And then the person takes it personal and they're like, what do you mean?
- 22:55[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing a good enough job.
- 22:56[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what's wrong with what I'm doing now, or, you know, and they take it.
- 22:59[SPEAKER_00]: And he suggestions or recommendations on that, because I see that often.
- 23:04[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say everyone is a bit wounded.
- 23:07[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, everyone is a person.
- 23:10[SPEAKER_02]: And it's all about communicating in the right way.
- 23:13[SPEAKER_02]: You see again, this is how I'm different in the way that I work, because communication is a major part of what we do.
- 23:21[SPEAKER_02]: It's not just that superficial level of analysis and therapy.
- 23:28[SPEAKER_02]: It's real.
- 23:29[SPEAKER_02]: It's dealing with the real human doing.
- 23:33[SPEAKER_02]: in life.
- 23:34[SPEAKER_02]: And when we communicate in a way that is, let's say more, more efficient, okay, it gets heard.
- 23:42[SPEAKER_02]: Most people, especially women and some men who are damaged from trauma, do not feel seen and heard.
- 23:51[SPEAKER_02]: They worry that they're not enough, but they're not good enough.
- 23:54[SPEAKER_02]: and it all comes down to how we communicate.
- 23:59[SPEAKER_02]: Communication should be taught in schools.
- 24:01[SPEAKER_02]: It will really shift from time to time to, along with, obviously, self-love, self-study, self-belief structures, all of this should be taught in school.
- 24:10[SPEAKER_02]: So people go into adult relationships and we don't really know how to communicate, unless we learn.
- 24:17[SPEAKER_02]: So there are ways to communicate that allow people not to be defensive, not to take it as if they are up fault, because it can be delivered in ways that allow a degree of vulnerability.
- 24:31[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 24:32[SPEAKER_02]: So it doesn't feel like a tack.
- 24:34[SPEAKER_02]: It's all about listening, coming into a middle place together, understanding what the intention is and being open to hearing.
- 24:43[SPEAKER_00]: So what's the difference like, because I'm sure there's a lot of people listening right now in therapy, you know, like a traditional therapeutic setting, what do you see is like the biggest, I don't know, like downfalls of it or like how it's failing people.
- 24:57[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, like beyond what we're saying right now, obviously, you know, when you have someone like the women that 42 years did you say, she was in there.
- 25:05[SPEAKER_00]: You're so like credible.
- 25:06[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
- 25:07[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what do you think like the biggest difference is like, how do you feel it's feeling people?
- 25:11[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so I have obviously I've been in practice nearly 30 years now.
- 25:15[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, and I have my own personal experience.
- 25:20[SPEAKER_02]: And when I was in my late 20s to what therapy is like on the receiving end in the traditional way.
- 25:27[SPEAKER_02]: So let me sum it up like this in a way that what I feel doesn't work and then what I know does.
- 25:34[SPEAKER_02]: So what doesn't work in the traditional sense is this pay as you go deeper toe therapy.
- 25:41[SPEAKER_02]: So it's no commitment.
- 25:43[SPEAKER_02]: It's an opportunity for your subconscious to sabotage it every turn.
- 25:49[SPEAKER_02]: Because when things get a bit uncomfortable as they have to, then there's a famous quote, think it wasn't a famous footballer.
- 25:56[SPEAKER_02]: I went quote footballers, but there's a famous footballer who said, you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- 26:01[SPEAKER_02]: So there are inevitably moments of tension, moments when I have to really challenge and hold you as my client.
- 26:13[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, in order to quit the drama, in order to be real with yourself.
- 26:18[SPEAKER_02]: And if you're in a pairs you go deeper toe model with very low commitment, it's easy to step back, it's easy to miss a week or two, and your subconscious is taking notice.
- 26:31[SPEAKER_02]: So your subconscious is going to then sabotage the process because your subconscious isn't committed.
- 26:38[SPEAKER_02]: It knows you're not committed.
- 26:39[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not going to shift things and let's stop go and move you forward.
- 26:44[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to set that up.
- 26:45[SPEAKER_02]: If you're a bit flaky on the surface.
- 26:47[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 26:47[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's going to support and give you all the reasons why you shouldn't keep going.
- 26:51[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, lie to you.
- 26:52[SPEAKER_02]: So, and it's the same, isn't it with fitness workout as well?
- 26:56[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to go all in.
- 26:58[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to make that decision and you've got to go in.
- 27:00[SPEAKER_02]: We can make ourselves believe anything of any lie.
- 27:04[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 27:05[SPEAKER_02]: So, the other aspects are that the traditional therapy tends to be in favor of the therapist.
- 27:12[SPEAKER_02]: I'm putting my head above the parapet saying all of the tends to be in favor of the therapist rather than the client.
- 27:18[SPEAKER_02]: So it can be quite boxy, it can be quite scripted.
- 27:22[SPEAKER_02]: So certainly in the UK, there's an idea of sort of pigeonholing people.
- 27:27[SPEAKER_02]: So it might be okay, you need counseling, or you need psychotherapy, or you need hipness therapy, or you need CBT, or you need NLP.
- 27:37[SPEAKER_02]: or you need EMDR.
- 27:39[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever it might be, any different kind of therapy is boxing somebody.
- 27:44[SPEAKER_02]: And the truth is, we're multi-fascities of human being.
- 27:48[SPEAKER_02]: We need a number of different methods that have to intuitively fit the client.
- 27:56[SPEAKER_02]: So things have to just flow without it being named, without it being in a boxed because it's not the client's job to fit into a box.
- 28:06[SPEAKER_02]: the client simply needs to be healed.
- 28:08[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 28:09[SPEAKER_02]: So then we come on to labelling.
- 28:11[SPEAKER_02]: Our labelling, some people like labels, they like an identification that it's saying anxious avoidant disorder or whatever it might be.
- 28:20[SPEAKER_02]: And there are some, you know, some intense medical conditions that do require a label.
- 28:26[SPEAKER_02]: But there are an awful lot that don't require a label.
- 28:29[SPEAKER_02]: And those labels become very limiting.
- 28:33[SPEAKER_02]: very very limiting because people see the label, they don't see you.
- 28:37[SPEAKER_02]: And you will only grow within yourself as far as that label takes you.
- 28:45[SPEAKER_02]: Another aspect that doesn't work.
- 28:47[SPEAKER_02]: Again, in some cases it does.
- 28:49[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not, you know, generalizing too much here.
- 28:52[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not talking about the top end of people who actually have a real chemical imbalance and they do need medication.
- 28:59[SPEAKER_02]: but a lot of people don't actually need medication, what they need is decent therapy.
- 29:05[SPEAKER_02]: Avery.
- 29:06[SPEAKER_02]: Avery.
- 29:06[SPEAKER_02]: Bredication, mass, gags, the subconscious.
- 29:10[SPEAKER_02]: And what happens is the message just finds its way out in the side effects.
- 29:16[SPEAKER_02]: So things move within the body.
- 29:18[SPEAKER_02]: They get other problems.
- 29:19[SPEAKER_02]: Because the subconscious is saying, well, if you don't listen to me this way, you'll listen to me this way.
- 29:24[SPEAKER_02]: And they keep going.
- 29:26[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Bob and my fam, I have a question for you.
- 29:29[SPEAKER_00]: Are you the kind of person who crushes it at work?
- 29:30[SPEAKER_00]: Shows up for your family, checks out every to-do list.
- 29:33[SPEAKER_00]: But when it comes to your fitness, your energy and your confidence, it feels like something's missing.
- 29:38[SPEAKER_00]: You might be doing the workouts listening to all the right podcasts.
- 29:40[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you are listening to this one.
- 29:42[SPEAKER_00]: But deep down, you know you're just kind of going through the motions and you're done playing small in this area of life.
- 29:47[SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly why I created Fit Mind Coaching.
- 29:50[SPEAKER_00]: My private one-on-one program for high-achieving women and men who are ready to level up.
- 29:55[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't just another fitness plan.
- 29:56[SPEAKER_00]: This is about building the body and the mindset to match the life you're working so damn hard for.
- 30:01[SPEAKER_00]: Because success in business means nothing if you're hiding in hoodies avoiding mirrors or dragging through your day with your energy, or showing up on Zoom meetings feeling good from the chest up, but praying no one ever sees what's going on below the screen.
- 30:14[SPEAKER_00]: We're talking about fat loss, muscle building, and real confidence that bleeds into every area of your life.
- 30:19[SPEAKER_00]: Your boredom, your bedroom, and your parenting.
- 30:21[SPEAKER_00]: You want it all?
- 30:22[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
- 30:23[SPEAKER_00]: You should have it all.
- 30:23[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.
- 30:24[SPEAKER_00]: Click the link in the show notes and book your free call with me today.
- 30:27[SPEAKER_00]: Let's build the strongest, most confident version of you inside and out.
- 30:31[SPEAKER_00]: You're ready for more, and I'm ready to show you how back to the show.
- 30:35[SPEAKER_00]: What if I was someone listening?
- 30:37[SPEAKER_00]: Because again, I like to be necklaces advocate.
- 30:38[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, no, but Lisa, you don't understand Lisa.
- 30:41[SPEAKER_00]: I have anxiety.
- 30:43[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I can't even leave my house.
- 30:45[SPEAKER_00]: No, I know I suffer from real depression.
- 30:48[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and my medication has really helped me like come out of that.
- 30:50[SPEAKER_00]: What would you say to that person?
- 30:52[SPEAKER_02]: I would say it's entirely possible for you to overcome the anxiety.
- 30:56[SPEAKER_02]: You just need the right help and the help you've had to date hasn't been right for you.
- 31:03[SPEAKER_02]: So what does work?
- 31:05[SPEAKER_02]: Because adding into that self-help, we are too close to self-help to yourself.
- 31:11[SPEAKER_02]: and self-help information is never quite enough, is it?
- 31:16[SPEAKER_02]: No, it works so very.
- 31:17[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, like, what does I do really do then?
- 31:19[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's really.
- 31:21[SPEAKER_02]: So what does work?
- 31:23[SPEAKER_02]: I've found to work is a range of therapy modalities that blends seamlessly together with a very experienced therapist.
- 31:31[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 31:31[SPEAKER_02]: You need a bespoke
- 31:33[SPEAKER_02]: programme that is a committed programme where you are all in, where the therapist is very real with you.
- 31:41[SPEAKER_02]: It's two people coming together.
- 31:44[SPEAKER_02]: It's like two souls if you like spiritually.
- 31:47[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, coming together to help to heal.
- 31:50[SPEAKER_02]: It's about understanding and connection.
- 31:53[SPEAKER_02]: Now, what I do is combine these modalities of therapy.
- 31:58[SPEAKER_02]: I'm skilled in a whole range of therapies.
- 32:01[SPEAKER_02]: alphabet super therapy these days is so many different ways.
- 32:04[SPEAKER_02]: Combining that with coaching methods, also crucially, as I said a little while ago, combining strategy for communication skills mastery, because it's all very well getting to know what your needs and boundaries are, what your standards are and your expectations are, but you need to be able to communicate that effectively.
- 32:26[SPEAKER_02]: in a way that gets you seen and heard.
- 32:29[SPEAKER_02]: So this is what I call psychodynamic mentoring.
- 32:33[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a term that I created for myself because I feel it's the best explanation of what I do.
- 32:39[SPEAKER_02]: It helps people to really own who they are, not just, you know, understand or just bounce ideas around and actually own it and implement it in the level that they are communicating
- 32:55[SPEAKER_02]: So that they are feeling seen and heard.
- 32:59[SPEAKER_02]: And as I say without excuse or apology.
- 33:03[SPEAKER_02]: So the way that I do this is through private coastal escapes.
- 33:07[SPEAKER_02]: So as I said, I live on a beautiful door sit-coast here in the UK.
- 33:10[SPEAKER_02]: About two hours from London.
- 33:12[SPEAKER_02]: We actually have our own airport.
- 33:13[SPEAKER_02]: It's a small place, but we have our own airport, which is really lovely.
- 33:16[SPEAKER_02]: Now I run private coastal escapes, people flying from all over the world.
- 33:20[SPEAKER_02]: In the business world, in the celebrity world, it's a really wonderful experience.
- 33:31[SPEAKER_02]: I do a lot of work with, you know, teenage early adult, fledged adults, in their early 20s, and a parent, couples, but also for senior leaders as individuals as well.
- 33:43[SPEAKER_02]: If they can't fly in, we can work immersively in a virtual sense online as well.
- 33:49[SPEAKER_02]: So either over two days or over one day online, and they're immersive, they collapse time, they are highly effective and incredibly private as well.
- 34:01[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's so many things that like you're saying that I can relate to like in the fitness world like everything like when you said like self help like you're too close to yourself to help self and people don't understand that it's something I just have to like pound into their heads with like health and fitness because they're like no I can just go to the gym like no I can just you know I can do this on my own and I'm like
- 34:24[SPEAKER_00]: But why do you need to?
- 34:25[SPEAKER_00]: And do you really know what you need?
- 34:27[SPEAKER_00]: And are you enough to push yourself when you don't feel like it?
- 34:31[SPEAKER_00]: And when there's not motivation there?
- 34:33[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we're not strong enough to challenge ourselves.
- 34:37[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's that's a joke.
- 34:38[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and that's I love that you're saying that with you have to have a therapist that's all in too.
- 34:44[SPEAKER_00]: You have to have a therapist that one can relate.
- 34:46[SPEAKER_00]: She's all in.
- 34:47[SPEAKER_00]: She's going or he is going to
- 34:49[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel the same way about coaching.
- 34:50[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I see so many trainers that are just like a job, 10, 9, they count form, whatever.
- 34:55[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, you're letting that person do this completely wrong and you're not saying anything.
- 35:00[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you letting them do one more squat, the wrong way?
- 35:03[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you probably can relate to like, why are you letting them?
- 35:06[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't someone do one more therapy session, the wrong way?
- 35:09[SPEAKER_00]: What's going on?
- 35:11[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and it's fear.
- 35:12[SPEAKER_02]: It's fear.
- 35:13[SPEAKER_02]: It's lack of self trust.
- 35:18[SPEAKER_02]: in either the trainer or the therapist.
- 35:21[SPEAKER_02]: Or is it actually go to that place and challenge?
- 35:24[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 35:25[SPEAKER_02]: Go to that place and say, no, come this way.
- 35:28[SPEAKER_02]: Do this this way.
- 35:29[SPEAKER_02]: And it comes from having that real belief in yourself as a professional knowing that even though it might be a bit rocky, even though it might be a bit tough for a short period of time, cyber is huge reward.
- 35:45[SPEAKER_02]: and it's helping whether it's a client of yours or a client of mine, it's about holding them safely and helping them to feel that they are held in a process that isn't going to fail them, that is going to see them through.
- 35:59[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I say to my clients, come under my wing and into safety and they love that, you know, they say, God, for the first time in my life.
- 36:08[SPEAKER_02]: I feel cherished.
- 36:09[SPEAKER_02]: I feel held and safe.
- 36:12[SPEAKER_02]: And it's the same for you just in a different way.
- 36:14[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 36:15[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 36:16[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 36:16[SPEAKER_00]: And so many people, they've never even experienced that safe feeling before.
- 36:20[SPEAKER_00]: They've never even had someone tell them like, come here, I got you.
- 36:24[SPEAKER_00]: I tell a lot of my clients, especially like my one and one, I'll tell them like, I'm going to believe in you until you're ready to take over.
- 36:30[SPEAKER_00]: not I'm not going to do all the work forever.
- 36:32[SPEAKER_00]: But I get it.
- 36:33[SPEAKER_00]: I get where you're at.
- 36:34[SPEAKER_00]: I have been where you're at and I understand and this is a safe place and I'm going to keep pushing you and believe in you until you ride take over and that is our goals for you to be able to take over and be able to definitely never been told that before.
- 36:46[SPEAKER_00]: They've never felt safe enough or in a situation or program, you know, anything in school where they felt safe to be like, okay, I'm going to do this.
- 36:57[SPEAKER_00]: And I know I'm going to fail.
- 36:58[SPEAKER_00]: I know that failure is going to help me grow.
- 37:00[SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm going to have good days and bad days and we're going to learn through it and not fall off track.
- 37:05[SPEAKER_00]: And that scares a lot of people.
- 37:07[SPEAKER_00]: Because they only know I fail.
- 37:09[SPEAKER_00]: I need to stop.
- 37:11[SPEAKER_00]: I know I can quit.
- 37:12[SPEAKER_00]: I need to just quit.
- 37:13[SPEAKER_02]: they don't really want it's like to quit and then keep going no and that's the difference isn't it because when they're doing it on their own in that self-help way there's no accountability no they can just go yeah I just back off today and I'm just I'll slide on the do they I won't I won't do it today
- 37:30[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, but when they're held in a process, there is accountability and even though the uncountability might accountability might be a little bit uncomfortable as they move through it, the gratitude is immense.
- 37:43[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, isn't it?
- 37:44[SPEAKER_02]: Because they get there.
- 37:45[SPEAKER_02]: They get there.
- 37:46[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 37:46[SPEAKER_02]: Every client I work with gets there because I've got them.
- 37:50[SPEAKER_02]: They know I have, they know they're safe.
- 37:52[SPEAKER_02]: Now, however, however we work, whatever we've got to do, we get there because I'm
- 37:58[SPEAKER_00]: What was your say to the person listening that might have fear around going to dark places, having to be, you know, faced and challenged?
- 38:07[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, I'm scared to that.
- 38:08[SPEAKER_00]: I'm scared to relive stories.
- 38:10[SPEAKER_00]: I'm scared to talk about my childhood and what happened to me.
- 38:12[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and I'm good.
- 38:14[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm good.
- 38:15[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I need that.
- 38:16[SPEAKER_00]: Like, why would I want to go and revisit that?
- 38:17[SPEAKER_00]: And like, dive in.
- 38:18[SPEAKER_00]: I hear this a lot.
- 38:20[SPEAKER_00]: I know people listening are probably thinking it.
- 38:22[SPEAKER_00]: I'm curious.
- 38:23[SPEAKER_00]: Your
- 38:25[SPEAKER_02]: So I think a lot of people worry about unraveling.
- 38:29[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because when there's a tight word gone on, people are desperate.
- 38:36[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, people are desperate to keep tightly that sense of control that they've managed to master.
- 38:41[SPEAKER_02]: And it isn't about unraveling.
- 38:44[SPEAKER_02]: Any trauma is enough to experience once.
- 38:47[SPEAKER_02]: We don't need to relive it again.
- 38:49[SPEAKER_02]: So it's about managing it safely in the right way.
- 38:55[SPEAKER_02]: The subconscious knows exactly where it needs to go.
- 38:58[SPEAKER_02]: But what?
- 39:00[SPEAKER_02]: anybody needs to do to heal and move forward.
- 39:03[SPEAKER_02]: And it's very much about dealing with the impact of what happened, dealing with the emotional charge of what's happened and releasing that to move forward, not about unraveling and having to go over stuff and over stuff and over stuff.
- 39:19[SPEAKER_02]: And that's where certain types of traditional therapy, they spend too much time stuck in
- 39:30[SPEAKER_02]: clarity to move forward quickly and efficiently because it's the learning that we need to get from that and it's the emotional charge that we need to release and that's rocket field for us in our life today.
- 39:42[SPEAKER_02]: Right, yeah that very pragmatic process.
- 39:46[SPEAKER_02]: Really.
- 39:47[UNKNOWN]: Mm-hmm.
- 39:47[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, see you guys listening, there's not going to be a freight off.
- 39:52[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
- 39:52[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so crazy.
- 39:54[SPEAKER_00]: It's a bracelet.
- 39:55[SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm powering.
- 39:56[SPEAKER_00]: It's so empowering.
- 39:57[SPEAKER_00]: It really is.
- 39:58[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so funny because people with, you know, joining like my group program that I have or something, they will be so scared to do that and start because they're like, I've tried so many things before.
- 40:09[SPEAKER_00]: And what if I fail again?
- 40:10[SPEAKER_00]: They're like a freight that they might fail again.
- 40:13[SPEAKER_00]: And they don't want to tell anyone because they're like, oh, so many people have seen me.
- 40:17[SPEAKER_00]: do this type of thing before, whatever, and I didn't do it.
- 40:21[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to do it, but I'm just going to keep it quiet.
- 40:23[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to tell anyone or people won't, this is another one of my favorites.
- 40:26[SPEAKER_00]: People won't share their goals.
- 40:28[SPEAKER_00]: They won't say what they're after for like the month of March or April or like whatever, because they're afraid they might not hit it.
- 40:35[SPEAKER_00]: And then they'll be embarrassed.
- 40:37[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I get it.
- 40:38[SPEAKER_02]: So it's making sure that, well, it's making sure that goals are realistic, making sure that they are achievable.
- 40:45[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
- 40:45[SPEAKER_02]: And making sure that they have a plan and a great way to create that plan is to, is to go forward as if they've already achieved it.
- 40:53[SPEAKER_02]: From that future place, look back and imagine the steps they took in order to get to that place.
- 41:00[SPEAKER_02]: It's much easier to do it that way in reverse.
- 41:02[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 41:03[SPEAKER_02]: But it is to start the beginning of the month, think,
- 41:06[SPEAKER_02]: Actually imagine that you've already done it and then go, okay, what did I do that actually got me there and then go back to the beginning of say right so I've got a steps week one I'll do this week two I'll do this week three I'll do this we'll do this yep they're before they know it
- 41:21[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Lisa, you are absolutely incredible.
- 41:24[SPEAKER_00]: Where can people find you at work?
- 41:25[SPEAKER_00]: And they follow you, how can they work with you?
- 41:27[SPEAKER_00]: Give us the loadout.
- 41:28[SPEAKER_00]: We'll put everything in the show notes, too.
- 41:30[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to hear it from you.
- 41:31[SPEAKER_00]: Give us everything.
- 41:33[SPEAKER_02]: OK.
- 41:33[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry, thank you.
- 41:34[SPEAKER_02]: OK.
- 41:35[SPEAKER_02]: So I have a dedicated page for your listeners, actually.
- 41:38[SPEAKER_02]: OK.
- 41:38[SPEAKER_02]: They can find at welcome.com and poweredmomentum.com.
- 41:44[SPEAKER_02]: I'll say it again, welcome dot and powered momentum.com.
- 41:49[SPEAKER_02]: Now there they will find a beautiful self-esteem quiz that they can take that I've bitten myself and it will help them to understand what those buried wounds are for them in a really private way.
- 42:03[SPEAKER_02]: It will help them to understand the needs that are going on met for them in their life and it will help them to understand where they are needing support with communication.
- 42:14[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, they can also get a three preview of my latest book, I'm an author of actually written four books, published three, one's a private memoir.
- 42:23[SPEAKER_02]: So there's a free copy, a free preview copy of my latest book from Anxious to Empowered.
- 42:30[SPEAKER_02]: and the other two books are for teenagers as well.
- 42:34[SPEAKER_02]: So 15, 15 to 22, 23 years old.
- 42:37[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
- 42:38[SPEAKER_02]: They can also do her conversation with me just to relax, introductory chat to understand where they're at, to talk through how, how I could help them.
- 42:48[SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, we can, we can go from there.
- 42:50[SPEAKER_02]: My daughter is very much open.
- 42:52[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
- 42:53[SPEAKER_00]: Are you on social media and can they follow you on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook?
- 42:56[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm on all social media platforms, I'm particularly on LinkedIn and Facebook.
- 43:03[SPEAKER_02]: I am on Instagram as well.
- 43:04[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm sure you'll put all the handguess in the show next week.
- 43:08[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
- 43:09[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, of Lisa.
- 43:10[SPEAKER_00]: This was such a good conversation.
- 43:13[SPEAKER_00]: Again, these are the types of things that people need to hear.
- 43:15[SPEAKER_00]: They need to feel safe.
- 43:16[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope this conversation just reminded them that like they're worth it.
- 43:19[SPEAKER_00]: You're worth doing.
- 43:21[SPEAKER_00]: the work diving in feeling heard, feeling safe, and there's help out there.
- 43:25[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to go to the self-help route.
- 43:27[SPEAKER_00]: Definitely not.
- 43:28[SPEAKER_02]: It's so important for everyone to remember.
- 43:33[SPEAKER_02]: We are worth it.
- 43:34[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what anybody else says to us, we all deserve to own our worth and be proud of who we are.
- 43:42[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
- 43:43[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for coming on.
- 43:45[SPEAKER_00]: You're a true, true blessing to this show.
- 43:47[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
- 43:48[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you very much for having me.
- 43:49[SPEAKER_02]: It's been a pleasure.
- 43:50[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, everyone makes she go to the show notes, check out the links.
- 43:53[SPEAKER_00]: We'll put everything there for you and we're always here to help.
- 43:57[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to do anything alone, Lisa.
- 43:59[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again and everyone stay safe stay healthy until next time.
- 44:07[SPEAKER_00]: The bottom-life podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
- 44:10[SPEAKER_00]: The content shared here is not intended as medical, legal, or professional advice.
- 44:13[SPEAKER_00]: Always consult with a qualified professional before making any health fitness, financial, or legal decisions.
- 44:18[SPEAKER_00]: The opinions shared on this podcast are personal experiences and insight.
- 44:21[SPEAKER_00]: So if you need expert guidance, go find the right professional for you.
- 44:25[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for listening.