Latest / UNLOADED / Stacking Weight

Transcript

Stacking Weight · UNLOADED

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to welcome everyone to our podcast unloaded.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is Michael Seahorn.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Shannon Mora.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it has been an interesting day today for us here on the podcast.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: We we had a little photo shoot today.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're finally getting photos up here.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: One of our kind listeners out there reminded Shannon that, hey man, you promised photos.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: So they called him out.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: We delivered.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, we we we need a little of that nudge sometimes.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: So um yeah, so we got photos taken today.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um something else that we've got to announce today, too, is uh we have created our actual um website, and the website is going to be the the the word the unloadedpodcast.com.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if you go to that website, you will be able to find uh everything you need to know about us and everything you need to know about unloaded the podcast.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a one-stop shop for all of our listeners out there.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, check it out, man.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're super excited.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: It looks great.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, super clean.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it'll have links to our Spotify, it'll have links to our YouTube channel, which some people don't know we even have it, but we are on YouTube.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we do have a YouTube channel, and we're out there uh Apple uh music.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: We're out on Apple Music or Apple Podcasts.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure the exact uh terminology for their app, but I think it's Apple Music.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're on there, and the website will be kind of our home.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh once Shandon goes through some of the photos from today's photo shoot, uh, we'll upload those onto the website so all of our listeners can finally see our ugly faces.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Our voices weren't enough.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: You want to see what these cats look like?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: As long as they don't think I'm you.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's funny.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think I I was texting Shannon a couple days ago, and I I always have this thing where I think about, you know, when when you let me use this as an example.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I read a book, uh I'm a huge Jane Patterson novel guy.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love James Patterson as a writer.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love the Alex Cross series.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: I've read all of the books.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny to me when you read or you listen to something, our own minds come up with some type of an image for these characters, right?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I always wonder, like, and I've asked some people sometimes when they're like, oh, it's fine, glad to meet you.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, What'd you think I looked like before you met me?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: You wanted to talk about a tricky question, man.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: You get the weirdest look from people that are like, uh, well, uh well, uh but anyway, uh everybody will get we'll get a chance to uh see Shannon and I.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: So um that's the least we can do in uh getting us out there and letting it be what it's gonna be, man.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty exciting.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is yeah, it's fun to see uh see this this growth.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Watching the the podcast evolve from you know what we've been at it now, three months, I think, somewhere in that ballpark, just to see the progression, um, where we're heading, the things we've got put in place, social media is covered.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: At some point I'll I'll get our Instagram up and running and uh some other avenues down the road so we're all interconnected out there and people will be able to find us.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and yet to now have our website and pretty soon here have photos.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think this feels like a pretty big step for us.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: It is, and also on the website too, for all of our listeners out there is uh we do have a contact page.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: That contact page is linked to our email address here at the unloadedpodcast.com.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So um, if you have questions, uh if you have some things that maybe you would like Shannon and I to talk about, um if you're looking for help, um if you want to ask either Shannon or I something personal, it's uh it's out there so people can just uh fill it out.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, hit the send button.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, we'd love any input at all.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, feedback's good whether it's positive or negative because you need both.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of in-between or a lot of both, right?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of how I I look at it.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, it's not too bad.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right, enough of all the promo stuff.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I we're normally so clean.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, that's one thing I kind of pride our podcast in is like we we dive right in.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, when you hit play, it's like welcome everyone, here we go.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And because a lot of these other podcasts, I'm not like comparing or anything.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I guess I am a little bit, but just yeah, it's I sometimes the lead-in to you know, like finally get to the actual meat of the podcast, so you have to fast forward the first five or so minutes just to get to the what feels more like where you want to start listening, and it's pretty cool.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Most of our podcasts, other than today's, we we get there very quick.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: We do, and uh actually it's a good entry into some of the things I was hoping we would talk about today is um you know, whether you're in the social media world or if you're an influencer out there or you're uh corporate, doesn't matter really what you're doing in the world, there's a lot of pressure to either uh perform, there's pressure on commitments, there's uh you know, a lot of pressure in deadlines and schedules and tasks.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can go on and on forever, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that this is a very good representation of uh what we were going to talk about today, about the pressures on us, regardless of the role, because each role in and of itself has its own pressures, right?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Whether you're a a single cat, a married cat, you know, uh a brother or sister, it doesn't matter the dynamic of the relationship.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's just pressures on with each one of those.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: And man, they start stacking.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, very quick.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: They start stacking just like today.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I I've got a full-time job, I've got my own business, um, I'm I'm we're you know, we're doing this podcast together, we've got IT things and social media, and you know, that that pressure to perform, that pressure to deliver sometimes, man.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: We I think we have to be a little cautious to recognize if we're getting up there.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Which we talked about in the Big Island episode when I left the aircraft.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize I needed to leave some stuff behind.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, and already maybe kind of starting to get building back up.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I happen to know that you were up later last night getting the the website built even earlier this morning, which is very early for you.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And uh just okay, you gotta get the website up, you know, which was quite a bit of work and time for Michael.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And even just I promised those photos a couple months ago, and it took me a couple months and finally some additional encouragement to like hate.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: He said encouragement.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like so, like, oh yeah, that's right.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I oop the we all have those to-do lists, and they seem to, you know, often it feels like they're growing longer and longer, and then we're trying to strike things off them as quick as we can, and uh, but it it it can become like you know, a a a bit a bit intense sometimes.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I you know, after obviously after our last couple episodes that we've recorded since I've uh had my return from the Big Island, and it's it's been a a good time and it's been a very good reminder uh for me to just really can continually remind myself, man, to keep myself present and to keep myself centered.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very hard to do in the in this crazy world of relationships because there's a lot of outside stimuli, if you will, with people that need things from you, you know, and it's not always like a task need, it could just be attention, it could be love, it could be communication, it could be anything under the sun.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, like I said, you you start stacking up these different dynamics of these roles per se, um, because that's what we do, right?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Where we have a role as a dad and a husband and a a father, brother, worker, boss.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's a lot of them, right?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's just been a good reminder this week for me to continually go back to just stay centered, man.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I can only do what I can do in the moment that it's happening, you know.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it's it's just a dang thing to think about that you know, we can't put all the pressure on us and still solve a thousand problems with a thousand other people.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work that way, man.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: No, you know what I mean?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes um I feel sometimes that those pressures of trying to be everything for everyone but yourself is one of the biggest weights that we continually put on us and carry around like our image shows, like a big rucksack.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like kind of how you're differentiating a little bit between our perceived pressure from others, or like, hey, I gotta get the firewood in so I can keep our house warm for the family, or you know, um more the pressure we generate for ourselves.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, damn man, I said I'd get those photos, and it's been a couple months now, and we you know, is it uh external, internal, often both, you know, but kind of what side of the scale is it sitting on generally?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it moves around, but just even being able to uh identify, oh wait, no, this is this is me being really hard on myself about not getting this thing done yet, versus oh, I haven't done that thing that so and so was expecting me to do a week or two ago, and they're probably getting a little agitated because they've been waiting for me, thinking it'd be done by now, you know, and so yeah, just just kind of seeing and identifying where the the pressure's coming from.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's sometimes that's not easy to do, you know, because we do get overloaded um with weight and we get overloaded with responsibility and we get overloaded with pressure.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: So to be able to to really sit back and think about man, like why am I feeling so much?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: X takes a little bit of work and it's gonna take some due diligence to be okay to sit with it and and and think about that.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um but that's the only way that I can do it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: But everybody's got their own thing, right?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I don't want to keep going back to it, but I mentioned I think last week or the week before being in a self-health practice for over a decade now, and you know, even you in your career as a mental health professional, Shannon, it's like I believe that some people, and depending on the space that you're in and the space that you're working at, your bandwidth who carry what we've been talking about now for three months, weight, I believe grows greatly in capacity because that's what we're that's what we're doing.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is the everyday for us.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: But we even have to be careful, and you and I even talked about like we have to be cautious, and and people in this industry or in this space, if you will, they need to be careful because we're taking on so much weight that our warning indicators aren't going off.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think that's one of my biggest realizations coming back from the big island was man, I had a lot of weight, and I and it was not hitting any of my warning systems.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you weren't aware of how much was in there.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't I didn't feel, you know, I wasn't aggravated, I wasn't grumpy, I wasn't angry, I wasn't mad, you know.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: My old it depends on the day.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: There there were some there were some things that I was dealing with prior prior to leaving for the big island, and you guys can hear that on the on a couple episodes back, but I think that in itself is an indicator, you are correct, but I still believe that we have to be extra careful sometimes on doing our self-analysis to make sure that we're good.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And self-analysis is a hard thing, it's hard to see ourselves, man.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can't, I mean, in this moment, I cannot see myself, you cannot see yourself.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're looking at each other quite clearly, but I mean, and you can just see how that works overall in everyday life.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Others can often see us, hear that thing in our voice, see the change in our normal behaviors much more readily than we can actually see that ourselves.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: We can't, I mean, yeah, uh we like to believe that we are in tune with how we're feeling and what we're doing and everything, and sometimes we are a little bit more, it really depends.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um often we're pretty good at fooling ourselves.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: It it's true, it's a true statement because it's very easy, and and I've I've gone through this too in my own practices, is it's very easy to tell yourself that you get I'm just gonna say it out loud.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's the easiest thing in the world.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is what we do, yes.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: All right, it's easy for me to go, uh, you know, Mike, yeah, you haven't worked out for two weeks, man.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I will be like, No, uh that's okay.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: You're fine.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just pick it up and do it another day.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then that turns into another two weeks, yeah, another three, another four, another five.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Say, hey, look, I don't have to work out anymore.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then next thing you know, which is in my opinion, is one of the worst things that happen with that, is it then that be s comes and starts creating a new habit.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then to break that and start back at square zero or square one, that's tough for a lot of people, man, me included.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: You've put all this work in, and then next thing you know, six months goes by, dude, and you're like, what happened?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: What happened?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then life happens, right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like uh, you know, this lifetime practitioner, if you will.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's crazy to think about.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I I always try to tell people that that's anybody who ever asks me, like, hey, where do I get started, man?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I I always tell them, you have to start where you feel that you need to start.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't tell you that.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's not for me to tell you.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you feel you need to start?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is it maybe you just eat one healthy meal a day?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you start there.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you you sit and take two deep breaths once a day.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: In order for someone to start something somewhere, you just have to start.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: But but I'm I'm not ready to start yet.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I right.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay too.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay too.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: We we will we can all pretty much always find a reasons or excuses or like I'm okay, I'm making it.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I'll I'll start when dot dot dot.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we we just it's a real easy again.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're pretty good at fooling ourselves, you know, while other people are saying, ooh man, Shannon's getting a little more out of shape.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: We must not be exercising that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's you know, it's it's it's none of this is easy.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I hope our our listeners know by now that Shannon and I are I I don't try to make this easy because it's not it's the hardest damn thing in in my own personal life.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Which is what makes it so worthwhile because it actually takes that effort.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: It does, takes a lot of effort, takes a lot of work, and I think the more people start to listen and the more things we talk about uh in the mental health space and just being better human beings all together, what you'll find out is it's a minute-by-minute day, man.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: That really brings us back to what you described earlier here in this episode.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like when we are feeling so like starting to get pretty stressed and feeling a lot of pressure from a lot of different places, that to-do list is really starting to get us and like being able to slow down, pause, take that breath, and bring it back to the present moment.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh yeah, wait, I'm spinning out right now because I'm really thinking about all the stuff I have to d accomplish uh in the future and or the repercussions or consequences, you know, and we're we're really in our heads thinking about all these things that we're feeling, or or even you know, from the past as well.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it and the more we're into the future of the past and away from what's happening right before us, the like that'll just continue to um make it worse.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um we'll feel more more stressed, more start spinning out in our minds.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh yeah, if there's any takeaway from today, the reminder just oh yeah, that's right.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Come back just right now, right, right here, right now, just in this moment.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: What's before me?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this moment's actually a little more peaceful than all this stuff swirling in my mind right now, and just oh yeah, and okay, this is what's next, this is what's next, and just being present is such a powerful practice.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: It helps us so much to uh we aren't giving our attention to all those things that are stressing us out to where we can just come back and take care of the thing that is right in front of us, and then we just keep moving like that and just taking care of the next thing.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's that's that's such a key that Michael and I have both found that has helped us so much with these things.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's there is so much uh mental health study, if you will, that has been done on people who really freak out about the future one way and always sitting in the past the other way.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing how much either one of those creates so much self-suffering inside of us, right?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um I am a huge proponent, and it just drives my family crazy a lot.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is I'm not worried about five years from now, man.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna be I'm just being up front and honest with people.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not worried about five years from now, man, because I I don't know what the next minute of today holds.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: So why am I gonna stress myself out for five years down the road, man, when I may not make five years down the road?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: So the way I look at it and the way I deal with my own personal life is I really, really, really try to focus on just being present.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because what I have found is when I when I'm really focused on the present, it is a wonderful place to be.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because this interaction like we're having right now, talking about our podcast, we're ever present right now, and I'm really focused on listening to what Shannon's got to say.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to listen to my own thoughts about the subject that we're talking about.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: And if my mind is too far in the future, then that clouds my ability to enjoy this moment.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know what I mean?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: It makes it much more difficult to then and it's amazing how it's actually much less effort when we are settled into right here, right now.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like oh it's yeah, it's it's pretty relaxing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: We can huh, it's w much less weight.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not all the weight of the future and the past.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is it.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, it's it's funny because my wife always asks me, uh, what are you gonna do?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she's she's always on me about what are we gonna do tonight?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing tonight?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I always have to give it the same response, is I'll know when I get there.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll give you an example, it's a perfect example.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: So Shannon alluded to I saw I've been working on our website for about a day and a half, working on it yesterday.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: I got home, and um weather was finally a little bit cooler.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: I I've got things stacking up around the property that I've been wanting to get to.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: One of them's the grass, and um so my intention of going home was to go home, chill out for just a little bit, and then boom, get right back into the website building so I can knock that out.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: But then when I got home and I got out of the truck and I was like, oh, that's actually pretty nice out right now.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Immediately switch gears, got changed, and boom, I mowed the entire property, right?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: And while I'm mowing the property, I'm just present, I'm enjoying the wind, the you know, the the it's warm, but it's not steaming hot.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've got a lot of grass to cut, so it's I know it's gonna take some time.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I come back in the house when I'm done, and uh my wife's like, Oh, you are you were out there mowing?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I go, Yeah, she goes, Oh, did you just mow this this the part that you were talking about?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, I just mowed the whole damn property.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, what?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: You just mowed the whole property.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, You didn't you you told me you were only gonna mow X.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: I go, Well, yeah, but once I'm in there and I'm I'm in it, just be present, man.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Just knock it out.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: You got all that momentum, you're already there.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Keep going with it, right?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: But then after that, then I calmed down for the evening and had a nice dinner with my wife and my daughter.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh then I was okay.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now let me get back to the website.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: So you can always shift your plans per se.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said, I don't put a lot of process, thought into when I get home, I'm gonna do A, B, C, D, E, F, and G.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because every time I've done that in my past, it goes haywire.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: I get A done.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then it leads to G.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: And everything else is sitting there uh wandering, and then what happens?
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Then I'm like, crap, I didn't do the other eight things, and now I gotta do that tomorrow.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: But then I already had plans for tomorrow.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: And now so now I'm double sacking.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: So now the pressure I'm creating internally.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not external, it's fully internal.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: So the way I've been doing things lately is just like last night.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: If I can knock out the yard, I'll knock the yard out.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Then I'll get back to the website build.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then today when I get home, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I've got other things I'd like to do.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: And yet you recognize that because you've been doing this for years, and it's it's almost a sort of flow state, you know.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: If we are quite present and we're just we know subconsciously, if you are in just even most, it's pretty clear psychodynamic theory, you know, most things come from the subconscious, and so we're not super aware on a cognitive level, you know.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if we can trust what's under the surface, and we subconsciously we know kind of even better, more so like how we want things to go, how things are gonna unfold, and if we can just be present and like oh hey, oh wow, look at the weather now.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm gonna go mow.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And wow, while I'm enjoying mowing so much, might as well just complete the job.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it wasn't exactly how I planned, but being present enough, just trusting the natural unfolding of things, man, it's it can be so much more effective than A, B, C, D.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, trying to structure it too highly.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're working you're working that damn you know to-do list per se, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing too is which is awesome, is if if you're able to get in that space and and practice in that space, the one thing that I do enjoy is the after.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I enjoy the after because once I'm done, I'm sweating like a dog.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you take a moment, you take a take a breath, get some get some cold drink, and then you're like, man, my yard looks pretty awesome right now.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the before and after, man, that's so satisfying.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that to me, that's one of those little wins.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's a nice little win.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's a win of the hey, I wasn't fully into it, I did it, I knocked it out, and now I'm pretty dang happy about the outcome.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's a huge win.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's more than a little win, man.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's uh Yeah, and that's that's what I talk about when we talk about like stacking some wins and stacking little things.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like those are the things where I think sometimes people if you're if you're doing what Shannon said, if you're just going down the list and you're checking the boxes A, B, C, D, E, or one, two, three, or whatever the whatever the case may be, you're missing the wins because you're like, boom, I got this done.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: Ram, and you're just I gotta get the next thing done, and the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and and next thing you know, you're like, you're you're worn out, man.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, it depends.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, not to take away the lists, not to take away the box checking.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Even I sometimes rely on that, you know.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's and it it really, what are we talking about here?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Chore lists, working.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: It could be millions of lists.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many different ways to approach it and what works better.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Different, you know, we're all quite different, and and so um, yeah, sometimes going through you know, a well thought out plan that structure is is super helpful, super effective.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And in that, uh to Michael's greater point, you know, just like ha well done, man.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like to instead of continually looking forward, sometimes we often forget to like ah, like reward ourselves a little bit, or or just just breathe in the smell of the cut grass and just enjoy just that moment of looking at your nice yard and just like uh you know, feeling good about it, you know, it's it can make a huge difference.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: It can.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then also that drives, in my opinion, that will also drive some gratitude, right?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're very grateful for your yard, you're grateful for your home, you're grateful for whatever the task is that you're trying to accomplish, is there's some gratitude in there too, and I think what we would agree upon is it's hard to be poopy pants and grateful at the same time.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's one or the other.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can switch back and forth, but you're not gonna do the same at the same time.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're noticing these wins and you're noticing, like, man, that was a I did a good job, that's a very good grateful moment of time, and that also brings such good energy internally.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have that positive reinforcement.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, there's that task that I've been avoiding, that uh it's probably gonna be kind of a grind, that okay, and and yet if you had kind of develop a habit of upon completing such task, you just take that moment to like, huh?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well done, that felt good.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, look at that, nice.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and then you know the next time you're facing the next task that oh, here we go, and and but subconsciously in there, it already knows the reward is is at the end and how good it feels, and so it's a lot easier then to get into it and begin and complete the task.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: I I know there's a lot of people out there probably like, what are these guys talking about?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking from a lot of experience, man.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're we're talking over a decade of doing life and trying to be better people, be better humans, and you know, trying to enjoy the time that we have on the planet, which we would all agree that is unknown.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's an unknown thing.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so when Shannon and I talk about things like this, I just hope our listeners don't don't let it slip away.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: That some of the s things that we talk about may seem small, but in the reality of just feeling better as a person and it's better as a human being, these are big things, man.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I just don't want people to, you know, maybe just glass over like, yeah, what's the big deal about cutting the grass?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, in and of itself, I don't know.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it just depends on your perspective.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's your perception.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, um And fortunately.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, unfortunately, as Shannon says, uh, we've come to the end of the road today.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh once again, I just I just want to do a friendly reminder, everybody.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, if there's anyone out there that needs some help, 988 is uh at at your dial, whatever, whatever you got going on, uh, you can call them, talk to somebody, look for some help.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: You can also go out and uh look in your local area for some other mental health providers out there, counselors, whatever the case may be.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: And now you can also shoot us a uh email if you want some private um you know direction, if you will.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, again, this is not in any way, shape, or form therapy.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: This is not in any way, shape, or form mental health advice.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is just two dudes doing our thing.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I just want people to know that sometimes the hardest thing in life is asking for help, and I've been one of the most biggest pro biggest obstacles for me personally is asking for help because of my personality type and the things that I've done in my life.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't say it lightly when I know sometimes it's it's almost impossible to ask for help because I've been there.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: So um part of our website is our contact page is there.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you are looking for help or you don't know where to go to get help, and you have a question about it, just shoot us a quick email.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Shannon and I, or both of us, can respond and and just give you some direction.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, hopefully, that's enough to get somebody uh a little wind in the sail, if you will, and and get them going in the right direction.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: So not alone, man.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: No one's alone.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Really.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, not in today's world.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, thanks.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Not in today's world.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: So again, just a friendly reminder to everyone out there.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's been it's been a good good podcast.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a good little photo shoot.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: I look forward to seeing the photos here in the next couple days or a week.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to checking out the website.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, likewise, right?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll get it all put together and uh we'll let you guys know when that's up and running.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is Mike Seahorn.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Shannon Morrow.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the Unloaded Podcast, and we'll catch you guys in the next episode.