Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Why We Need To Stop Deferring Life & Happiness, With 'The Bucket List Guy' Travis Bell

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Why We Need To Stop Deferring Life & Happiness, With 'The Bucket List Guy' Travis Bell · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

0:08
Speaker 1: Travis Bell, Welcome to the podcast, Paul, start to be
0:12
Speaker 1: on mate. Thanks for having me.
0:13
Speaker 2: But the last time we cross paths, we were both
0:17
Speaker 2: in a different industry. We were both in the fitness industry,
0:21
Speaker 2: and I think we were both speaking at FILEX oh
0:26
Speaker 2: at least ten years ago. Now we've had similar ish
0:31
Speaker 2: trajectories since then. We're both corporate speakers, we're both authors,
0:37
Speaker 2: we're both podcast hosts. Just tell people a little bit
0:41
Speaker 2: about your journey from the fitness industry, in fact, starting
0:45
Speaker 2: right from there, just to give us a bit of
0:47
Speaker 2: a sense.
0:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I guess the backstory is. I grew up
0:54
Speaker 1: as a jock. I'm a swimmer, surfer, competitive surf, life cyber,
0:59
Speaker 1: did all that and did enough to get an interest
1:04
Speaker 1: in it, did a phyzed degree, and in my third
1:09
Speaker 1: year UNI, there was this guy who came to do
1:13
Speaker 1: our strength and conditioning course elective and he was doing
1:20
Speaker 1: this thing in the early nineties called personal training, and
1:23
Speaker 1: he was if all the Aussies out there would know
1:26
Speaker 1: Darryl Summers from hayyat Saturday, he was Darryl Summers' personal
1:30
Speaker 1: trainer and he was getting quite paid, quite handsomely, and
1:33
Speaker 1: he coached trained a lot of celebrities and rich people
1:37
Speaker 1: around to Iraq and around Melbourne, and I had no
1:40
Speaker 1: idea what I was going to do. You know, you
1:41
Speaker 1: come out of a fizzed degree as a jack of
1:43
Speaker 1: all trades, master of nuns. So he was doing this
1:46
Speaker 1: thing called personal training his pre Internet, pre all of
1:49
Speaker 1: Google machine and pre instacrack, and I'm like for beer money.
1:57
Speaker 1: During UNI, I was a kid swimming teacher. I always
2:00
Speaker 1: loved coaching, helping people in some form or another. But
2:05
Speaker 1: you know, I started working in the gym at Foots
2:07
Speaker 1: Gray Swim Center, which is a big change from where
2:10
Speaker 1: I live now in Ocean Grove, where I grew up.
2:13
Speaker 1: I came back to I mean Ocean Grove, moved up
2:16
Speaker 1: to Footsgray back in the early nineties, which is a
2:19
Speaker 1: culture shock in itself. Started personal training one of the
2:23
Speaker 1: Council Council gyms, and I had a client, by the way,
2:30
Speaker 1: his name was Tony and he became my first mentor.
2:35
Speaker 1: And there was probably only three or four personal trainers
2:40
Speaker 1: that I knew of in Melbourne at that time. And
2:43
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, this book, you know, go to this conference,
2:46
Speaker 1: go to subscribe to this magazine. Now all the personal
2:50
Speaker 1: training stuff, and I just did everything he said. Got
2:53
Speaker 1: my first personal training client, Heather. She paid me twenty
2:56
Speaker 1: five bucks an hour. She wanted to train with me
3:00
Speaker 1: three times a week. I thought gym hours, you know,
3:04
Speaker 1: gym on the floor hours, kids, kids, swimming, teaching, personal training.
3:08
Speaker 1: You know, the numbers are stacked up. But I just
3:12
Speaker 1: poured everything into her. She referred to everyone in the
3:15
Speaker 1: English speaking language to the and then some to My
3:17
Speaker 1: business record was sixty three mobile personal training sessions in
3:22
Speaker 1: a week. Jesus running around. I did that for about
3:26
Speaker 1: three and a half years, and I was just got
3:30
Speaker 1: half of it paid in cash, which I didn't invest
3:33
Speaker 1: very wisely. That's a rock star on the weekends. And
3:38
Speaker 1: I got my first personal training studio in Richmond and
3:43
Speaker 1: it was like four hundred square meters just down the
3:45
Speaker 1: road from Channel nine on Swan Street. Had thirteen personal
3:49
Speaker 1: trainers working for me in that business. And I think
3:55
Speaker 1: Craig a mutual friend half. I had a couple of studios.
3:58
Speaker 2: I was both to asked I.
4:00
Speaker 1: Was on his podcast just the other day. I've been
4:03
Speaker 1: on his three times. I've been on his three times.
4:05
Speaker 1: He's been online twice. But we've become good mates over
4:09
Speaker 1: the years, of course, like you guys are.
4:12
Speaker 2: And.
4:14
Speaker 1: You know this, this thing of personal training was I
4:17
Speaker 1: was the head presenter for the Australian Istitute of Fitness
4:20
Speaker 1: when they first started in Richmond and did that. Had
4:27
Speaker 1: all these personal and we were running boot camps before
4:30
Speaker 1: the boot camps, we had a rehabilitation thing, we had
4:32
Speaker 1: a triathlon squad. We had all these and one of
4:36
Speaker 1: my then employees said, Trav, I'd like to build one
4:41
Speaker 1: of these personal training studios too. Yeah, I'm thinking about
4:45
Speaker 1: doing one myself. I said, well, I'll look into let's
4:50
Speaker 1: do it together. So that's when I went down the
4:53
Speaker 1: franchising route, discovered what franchising was all about. And someone
4:59
Speaker 1: said to me around that time, you can't franchise personal
5:02
Speaker 1: fitness training. And that's all the motivation I needed, mate,
5:06
Speaker 1: And a year later we did our first franchised personal
5:10
Speaker 1: training studio in Canterbury and that grew to a chain
5:14
Speaker 1: of twenty two personal training studios. So it was us
5:17
Speaker 1: and Vision, you know. So we were going kind of
5:21
Speaker 1: toe to toe for ages and probably was what was
5:26
Speaker 1: the name of your chan new level personal training? Ah yeah, yeah,
5:30
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. So the typical studio was a two hundred
5:34
Speaker 1: and two hundred square med a boutique gym, four to
5:38
Speaker 1: maybe ten trainers in each one with an owner owner operator,
5:44
Speaker 1: and normally a lot of these. You know, our franchisees
5:48
Speaker 1: were like hungry, motivated personal trainers with no money. So
5:52
Speaker 1: they partnered up with a client who was rich, and
5:55
Speaker 1: they came together and they bought a franchise together. But
6:00
Speaker 1: long story short, I became way too much of a lawyer,
6:04
Speaker 1: too much of an accountant, let some toxic people into
6:07
Speaker 1: the system. It became a tail wagging the dog situation.
6:12
Speaker 1: I let people, you know, when you're a franchise or
6:16
Speaker 1: you've got to have deep pockets for legal legal fights,
6:20
Speaker 1: and you've got to be very stern to tell everyone, guys,
6:25
Speaker 1: you're not allowed to put beetroot in the Big Mac,
6:27
Speaker 1: if you know what I mean. They wanted to put
6:30
Speaker 1: beetroot in the Big Mac, and I kind of let
6:31
Speaker 1: them to a certain extent, and they just and I
6:36
Speaker 1: there's some other stuff going in my life, and got
6:40
Speaker 1: to the point where it just did my head in.
6:43
Speaker 1: Loved the end product of personal training, but I was
6:46
Speaker 1: falling out of love with the business model. Was I
6:48
Speaker 1: too early probably make some ego based decisions, yes, but
6:55
Speaker 1: I yeah, I started to like, go, I'm really over
7:01
Speaker 1: this and to the point where I didn't want to,
7:04
Speaker 1: you know, respond to emails, phone calls. There's always legal
7:08
Speaker 1: blues going on. I'm like, I've got to get out
7:10
Speaker 1: of this somehow, and I went. I slipped into a
7:14
Speaker 1: state of depression, albeit mild, you know, compared to what
7:17
Speaker 1: we've heard since. And instead of going on heavy antidepressants,
7:25
Speaker 1: a which is a band aid to what was really
7:29
Speaker 1: going on, I've done too much mindset stuff, been to
7:32
Speaker 1: too many and I'm just instead of going on the
7:35
Speaker 1: heavy antidepressants, I just went to every seminar. I had
7:37
Speaker 1: to force myself to go to every seminar I could
7:40
Speaker 1: possibly go to learn about positive psychology, will learn about
7:44
Speaker 1: did N did life coaching? Did all walked on Fire
7:48
Speaker 1: with Big Tony Robbins, a freaking aahuasca burning man. You know,
7:54
Speaker 1: I'm still going hold.
7:57
Speaker 2: I was stopped just a pause on that where you
7:59
Speaker 2: do your oscar?
8:01
Speaker 1: Uh, pretty much in a bunker out the back of
8:06
Speaker 1: the Gold Coast. We flew some shamans over Ah.
8:12
Speaker 2: I did a bunch of a oscar deep in the
8:17
Speaker 2: Amazon jungle in the year two thousand. It's very interesting stuff.
8:23
Speaker 2: But anyway, let's not go downut rabbitol because it could
8:26
Speaker 2: be a whide before we come out of that rabbit.
8:29
Speaker 1: We did it properly too. We did it early. Mind you,
8:33
Speaker 1: Me and my mates, we've done a lot of personal
8:35
Speaker 1: development with We've been to all sorts of weird and
8:37
Speaker 1: wonderful experiences, let's just say, and we all did Ohio
8:42
Speaker 1: oscar in unicorn onesies. So one of the funniest things
8:52
Speaker 1: I remember through that experience is, you know when you purge,
8:57
Speaker 1: you know when you purge, you know, throw up. They
9:00
Speaker 1: shipped themselves. I just cried all not and one of
9:03
Speaker 1: my mates rushing to the duney.
9:07
Speaker 3: Trying to get his trying to get his unicorn, and
9:11
Speaker 3: me looking through this dark darkness, Oh mate, isn't Rosco. Yeah,
9:17
Speaker 3: and just just getting his suit off before he shipped
9:20
Speaker 3: in it.
9:21
Speaker 1: Anyway, back to the fitness industry, so I I was
9:28
Speaker 1: in probably just walked on fire, high five and hugging
9:32
Speaker 1: it out and high fiving. It was strangers and I
9:36
Speaker 1: made was about two years into it, and I just
9:38
Speaker 1: sort of tolerated, you know, the fitness businesses until then,
9:43
Speaker 1: just tolerated it, ran it, but knew there was change coming.
9:48
Speaker 1: And my mate said, Trev, why don't you teach this stuff?
9:51
Speaker 1: You know, it's this seminar stuff, and and it was
9:55
Speaker 1: just like a light bulb moment. Yeah, that gives me,
9:58
Speaker 1: you know, It's certainly justifies all the money I've invested
10:02
Speaker 1: in the seminars. And a month later I was shitting myself.
10:07
Speaker 1: I put on a talk and I nearly had to
10:10
Speaker 1: pay the forty people to come to that talk, and
10:14
Speaker 1: I just down, like I've always worked for myself pretty much,
10:17
Speaker 1: so it was all my entrepreneurial journey. I was in
10:20
Speaker 1: personal training for over twenty years, and all my entrepreneurial stuff,
10:25
Speaker 1: all the new psychology, business coaching, life coaching stuff I learned,
10:30
Speaker 1: was put into this seminar. And about halfway through, I
10:34
Speaker 1: started sharing the fact that I had a list to
10:36
Speaker 1: do before he die since I was eighteen, actually written down,
10:40
Speaker 1: so wherever I went through shared housing or it was
10:45
Speaker 1: always my little blue folder with my list to do
10:47
Speaker 1: before I die, and I've always had it since I
10:49
Speaker 1: was eighteen. And this first seminar was about thirteen fourteen
10:52
Speaker 1: years ago, and in what was a pretty ordinary seminar
10:57
Speaker 1: up until that point. I started to sharing the fact
10:59
Speaker 1: that I had this to do before I die, and
11:02
Speaker 1: I said to the group, who else has got one
11:04
Speaker 1: of these lists?
11:06
Speaker 2: No one?
11:07
Speaker 1: So it was hands down it was donuts. I'm like, well,
11:10
Speaker 1: why the hell do you get up in the morning?
11:11
Speaker 1: What's your reason?
11:12
Speaker 2: Why?
11:12
Speaker 1: What's your And most people will come back with pay
11:15
Speaker 1: off the house, put the kids through school, do a
11:18
Speaker 1: bit of trouble when I'm older, Yeah, possibly sicker?
11:22
Speaker 2: Wow?
11:23
Speaker 1: Is that it? So I started sharing my stories and
11:28
Speaker 1: one of the girls in the back of the room
11:29
Speaker 1: at the end of it, during Q and A, she goes, oh,
11:31
Speaker 1: how's this list to do before you die? Stuff? It's
11:34
Speaker 1: like a bucket list. You're like the bucket list guy.
11:37
Speaker 1: And I went ping like bold moment, went home, registered
11:43
Speaker 1: the bucket list guy dot com and Paul, you love this.
11:47
Speaker 1: I was on the internet, the Google machine. I'm like googling,
11:51
Speaker 1: who's like the mac daddy, who's like the king of
11:54
Speaker 1: bucket list in the world? Oh? Look, no one. So
11:56
Speaker 1: I literally called myself the world's number one bucket list expert.
12:00
Speaker 2: Love it, love it? Where you were right? I can't
12:03
Speaker 2: believe you got you can't believe you got dot com
12:07
Speaker 2: the bucket less gay dot com.
12:09
Speaker 1: Geez yeah, we'll back in the days, mind you. I
12:11
Speaker 1: registered about fifty other domains, which we all.
12:14
Speaker 2: Have, and that's true.
12:17
Speaker 1: Still, still I've still got I'm just waiting for that
12:20
Speaker 1: one day.
12:22
Speaker 2: I just got it. I got an email just yesterday
12:25
Speaker 2: that a boat sex of mine are expiring, right.
12:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's It's addictive, isn't it.
12:32
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I renew that.
12:33
Speaker 2: You never know this year got idea?
12:36
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's totally irrelevant. It's totally
12:40
Speaker 1: not related to what I'm doing right now, but you
12:41
Speaker 1: never know. Insurance policies. So the so I at that time,
12:48
Speaker 1: Tim Ferriss had just come out with his four Hour
12:51
Speaker 1: work Week book. So here I am. So here I
12:54
Speaker 1: am with the bricks and mortar, freaking commercial leases all
12:58
Speaker 1: around Australia, some of them in my name, some of
13:00
Speaker 1: them sublettered under another company. And here's old mate running
13:05
Speaker 1: everything from fucking Hammock in Thailand, you know, from his laptop,
13:09
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I like that business model better than this,
13:14
Speaker 1: and that whole on you know, remember back then, the
13:17
Speaker 1: whole online world was starting and the thought of being
13:20
Speaker 1: a digital nomad just appealed to me, given what I've
13:24
Speaker 1: just been through and having an outsourced life. And I
13:28
Speaker 1: really went deep on my lifestyle design, tapped into my values,
13:34
Speaker 1: looked at the things that I really do enjoy. And
13:37
Speaker 1: I remember seeing Alan Weiss, who's a brash New York
13:41
Speaker 1: Jews speakers speak, and he had us. There was no tech,
13:46
Speaker 1: no nothing, you know, no whiteboards, no nothing. He has
13:48
Speaker 1: laughing and crying in the all in the same minute.
13:52
Speaker 1: And I looked at this guy during that time, I went,
13:54
Speaker 1: if I can do that, mate, I could do anything
13:58
Speaker 1: in life. And that was for me the big domino
14:02
Speaker 1: that I had to push over. That created a lot
14:06
Speaker 1: of flow on effect from there on. So I defranchised
14:09
Speaker 1: the whole the whole business got out of personal training.
14:13
Speaker 1: That took about two or three years to sell off
14:16
Speaker 1: the studio.
14:17
Speaker 2: I was just about to ask that you said that defranchises,
14:20
Speaker 2: if that was a reasonably straightforward thing, can imagine that
14:25
Speaker 2: that was just highly stressful. Lots of negotiations back and forth.
14:31
Speaker 1: We had ones in Queensland, New South Wales and VIC
14:35
Speaker 1: and some are like, yes, finally I can do my
14:38
Speaker 1: own thing and rebrand. I'm like, go for it, you know,
14:41
Speaker 1: no money, just just you know, and some are like, no,
14:47
Speaker 1: I don't go, you know. But I had to really,
14:51
Speaker 1: you know, tap into what lit me up and what
14:54
Speaker 1: I really wanted to do. And like I said, I
14:56
Speaker 1: love the end product of personal training. I still help
14:59
Speaker 1: people to this day, just with a different context. But yeah,
15:07
Speaker 1: that business model just didn't appeal to me anymore. And
15:12
Speaker 1: you know, Andrew Simmons and we joke about it, harp,
15:15
Speaker 1: We've joken joked about it since then. But my love
15:21
Speaker 1: of coaching, my love of helping one to many via
15:24
Speaker 1: the stage, that's never stopped, you know. And now I
15:27
Speaker 1: get to the first twenty years my life is PT
15:30
Speaker 1: and now the next twenty years, my life, working life
15:33
Speaker 1: is PD in personal development. And now I can help people.
15:37
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of different areas of life, not
15:40
Speaker 1: just health and fitness.
15:42
Speaker 2: So tell me that's men. When did you realize that
15:46
Speaker 2: you were going to be able to make a living
15:48
Speaker 2: in personal development? Was there a particular time when you
15:52
Speaker 2: thought it, I've got this, I can I can see
15:56
Speaker 2: it now clearly, and I believe that I can do this.
16:00
Speaker 1: Now I'm waiting for that day still mate, hopefully come
16:06
Speaker 1: next week. No, you know what, Like just like personal training,
16:11
Speaker 1: I helped I start helping one client and I just
16:15
Speaker 1: looked after them and she, like I said, referred to it,
16:18
Speaker 1: so you know, I did. I've always done kind of
16:23
Speaker 1: life coaching slash business coaching slash coaching in a number
16:28
Speaker 1: of different areas of life, and so that's always been there.
16:35
Speaker 1: But the speaking side of things, I had to work
16:39
Speaker 1: out what the message was. I've been basically reverse engineering
16:42
Speaker 1: for the last fourteen odd years. I've been reverse engineering what
16:46
Speaker 1: the actual bucket list guy dot com is. And I
16:52
Speaker 1: first I first ran my own events. So I'd go
16:56
Speaker 1: around Australia, put on a tour of sorts and awkwardly
17:01
Speaker 1: sell to the back of the room. And when I
17:04
Speaker 1: say awkwardly, I was shit at it. And I'd say, hey,
17:07
Speaker 1: come down to my event in Melbourne. So I was
17:09
Speaker 1: running three and a half day trainings in Melbourne for years,
17:13
Speaker 1: for about three or four years, where people come for
17:17
Speaker 1: a whole full on personal development weekend kind of thing.
17:21
Speaker 1: And if you know Melbourne, I had people like I'm like,
17:26
Speaker 1: all right, Tony, big Tony, He's got people. Not that
17:31
Speaker 1: I was trying to be a cab and copy of
17:32
Speaker 1: Tony Robbins. But he's got people walking on fire on
17:35
Speaker 1: day one because it really makes the unreal the it
17:39
Speaker 1: smashes their what is real, it is unreal, the imitations,
17:44
Speaker 1: and then it's a beautiful place to then do goal
17:47
Speaker 1: setting and personal development from. So I'm like, all right,
17:50
Speaker 1: he's got people walking on fire, what can I do?
17:52
Speaker 1: All right? Stuff? So I had him wrap jumping and
17:55
Speaker 1: you're you're from you know what wrapped it Repel Forwards
18:00
Speaker 1: Sailing Forwards Offer building in Melbourne. So my mate, who's
18:04
Speaker 1: an ex SAS guy, he was running wrap jumping Melbourne.
18:08
Speaker 1: So I'd have everyone on day one, they didn't know
18:10
Speaker 1: me or each other, I'd have them all up on
18:12
Speaker 1: those building, strapped in and get them run off the
18:15
Speaker 1: building three times and and they'd all they'd all get
18:21
Speaker 1: to the end of that like they've just had a
18:22
Speaker 1: bigger bag of cocaine and be like, all right, what's
18:27
Speaker 1: on for the rest of the weekend. And so as
18:30
Speaker 1: a result, you know that that sort you know, the
18:35
Speaker 1: spin offs of that, people going oh can you come
18:37
Speaker 1: and speak at my company? Et cetera, et cetera sort
18:40
Speaker 1: of went from there, and you know, I've been fortunate
18:43
Speaker 1: enough to now speak on six or seven continents around
18:45
Speaker 1: the world. You know, some big multinationals like yourself, and
18:49
Speaker 1: some you know from from kids in schools to corporates
18:54
Speaker 1: and a whole bunch of you know, non for profits
18:57
Speaker 1: in the process as well. And the the message has
19:02
Speaker 1: just resonated, you know so much, the bucket list message,
19:06
Speaker 1: and really ninety five percent of what I teach is
19:11
Speaker 1: positive psychology, just with this bucketless brand over the top
19:14
Speaker 1: of it, because that really helped me. And you know
19:17
Speaker 1: the difference between regressive, regressive or typical psychology and positive psychology.
19:23
Speaker 1: Positive psych is all about helping people identify these strengths
19:28
Speaker 1: what gives them a sense of meaning, purpose fulfillment, and
19:31
Speaker 1: gratitude and basically bleeding more of that into their work
19:33
Speaker 1: and into their life so they have a happier life.
19:36
Speaker 1: So that's what I've been doing.
19:38
Speaker 2: We're going to dig into the bucket lest and a
19:41
Speaker 2: bit of a framework, but something that I also cult
19:43
Speaker 2: my eyes. You talk about a reverse bucket list, so
19:46
Speaker 2: everybody gets what a bucket list is. But I think
19:48
Speaker 2: we'll dig in and I think if we're already given
19:51
Speaker 2: a little bit of a clue. And you talk about
19:53
Speaker 2: values and meaning and purpose, But talk to me about
19:56
Speaker 2: a reverse bucket list.
19:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, a reverse bucket list, We actually do that. I
20:02
Speaker 1: like to take people through that process before we even
20:05
Speaker 1: concentrate on a future bucket list. People are already overwhelmed.
20:11
Speaker 1: You know, their to do lists are crazy. The last
20:13
Speaker 1: thing they need is old mate rocking up and dumping
20:16
Speaker 1: even more stuff on their plate to think about. So
20:20
Speaker 1: one of the pills of positive psychology is gratitude, right,
20:25
Speaker 1: be more mindful. So the reverse bucket list is getting
20:29
Speaker 1: people to highlight and appreciate and pay thanks to the
20:37
Speaker 1: things that they've already done in their life up and
20:39
Speaker 1: toil this point in the point in which we interact.
20:43
Speaker 1: So whether it be in a seminar or things like this.
20:45
Speaker 1: So get people to give me five things that they're
20:48
Speaker 1: done in their life as if it were in a
20:50
Speaker 1: bucket list. All the way along, there's people out there,
20:53
Speaker 1: they've lived some pretty extraordinary lives. And rather than discount
20:58
Speaker 1: that and play on, let's just stop. Let's reflect back,
21:03
Speaker 1: and let's appreciate what you've already done. And then when
21:07
Speaker 1: people start to do that, they start to appreciate the
21:10
Speaker 1: fact that they've had a really cool life thus far.
21:13
Speaker 1: Mind you, a lot of it's happened by default, not
21:16
Speaker 1: by intentional design. And when they go, well, I didn't
21:22
Speaker 1: really think this stuff through, But what if I actually
21:24
Speaker 1: took some time out of my life to work on
21:26
Speaker 1: my life and then just started really mapping the way
21:30
Speaker 1: forward put some real intention behind it. And that's when
21:33
Speaker 1: people go, holy crap, that's cool. And I say, your
21:37
Speaker 1: reverse bucket list has got to be as fruitful as
21:39
Speaker 1: big as your future bucket list, because you know, your
21:43
Speaker 1: reverse bucket list is what they play at your funeral,
21:46
Speaker 1: right They grab all your clips, they grab all your
21:49
Speaker 1: your your photos, they put it to your favorite song
21:51
Speaker 1: and say see you later. And so that's the that's
21:56
Speaker 1: the that's the premise for that, and that gives people
21:59
Speaker 1: such a strong foundation to really go be on their
22:03
Speaker 1: future bucket list.
22:05
Speaker 2: I like the psychological priming of that, right of actually
22:13
Speaker 2: recognizing what I've already done, because you're then starting to
22:17
Speaker 2: tap into strengths, You're becoming aware of the stuff that's
22:20
Speaker 2: important to you. But also I think seavering achievements is
22:24
Speaker 2: really important to then give people the courage really to
22:31
Speaker 2: set some big goals. So let's not talk about then
22:35
Speaker 2: the bucket list. So how does your concept of a
22:40
Speaker 2: bucket list differ from what normal people would think about
22:45
Speaker 2: a bucket list?
22:47
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well, first off, the bucket List movie with Jack
22:51
Speaker 1: Nicholson and Morgan Freeman was about two blokes that get
22:55
Speaker 1: given a cancer diagnosis and then they rode a bucket list.
22:59
Speaker 1: That's why, openly it's a shit movie. I've based my
23:02
Speaker 1: whole career on it. Good mine trap. So I want
23:07
Speaker 1: to wake people up before they get given a use
23:09
Speaker 1: by date number one. And that's my whole mission, man,
23:13
Speaker 1: is just to wake people up. And when I talk,
23:16
Speaker 1: I give them a virtual cancer diagnosis of how little
23:19
Speaker 1: time we got left and we don't know, we don't
23:22
Speaker 1: know what, we don't know, right, And so everyone's got
23:25
Speaker 1: some real close examples of people getting knocked off the
23:30
Speaker 1: perch sooner than they wanted. Everyone's got an example around them, right,
23:36
Speaker 1: Everyone's got cancer examples. And not to be too morbid
23:39
Speaker 1: about it, but you need you know, as you know,
23:42
Speaker 1: as a speaker, you've got to disrupt to a certain extent.
23:45
Speaker 1: You've got to get people thinking outside the box. So
23:50
Speaker 1: most people think that a bucket list is all about
23:53
Speaker 1: the travel adventures that you want to do. Correct, yes, right,
23:58
Speaker 1: that's that's you know some people, you know, there's other
24:02
Speaker 1: bucket list people, not the bucket list guy, certainly not
24:05
Speaker 1: the world's number one bucket list of claim mats. But
24:09
Speaker 1: other people are all about travel, especially in America. So
24:12
Speaker 1: I debunk that, and I say, okay, well, travel is
24:15
Speaker 1: the most expensive thing that you can do on a
24:17
Speaker 1: bucket list, and it takes the most time, and so
24:24
Speaker 1: people have to wait until later on in life. And
24:27
Speaker 1: that's how retirement is sold to us. Superannuation is sold
24:31
Speaker 1: to us. Exiting my business, retire, you know, that's how
24:35
Speaker 1: I'll do all of my travel. I'll do my bucket
24:37
Speaker 1: list in retirement.
24:38
Speaker 2: They've generally fucked their health by the time they get there, right,
24:43
Speaker 2: so they've seeved up all this money and then they've
24:46
Speaker 2: screwed their health up.
24:47
Speaker 1: The statistics around people retiring you probably know better than me, mate,
24:52
Speaker 1: But the statistics around people retiring getting out of their
24:55
Speaker 1: job or exiting their business and having maybe five good
24:58
Speaker 1: years and then see you later, it's like, holy shit.
25:02
Speaker 1: So that that just makes me so sad. Where people
25:06
Speaker 1: sacrifice their happiness to enjoy later and later never comes.
25:10
Speaker 1: It's like, fuck, that's not a life.
25:12
Speaker 2: They defer, defer living, ded defer happiness.
25:18
Speaker 1: And so I'm into delayed gratification, don't get me wrong,
25:21
Speaker 1: But I'm also into instant gratification. Why is because of
25:26
Speaker 1: the perfect storm of mental health that we're in right now.
25:29
Speaker 1: I mean, this is your this is your wheelhouse. So
25:32
Speaker 1: depression going through the roof, anxiety even worse over, prescription
25:38
Speaker 1: of antidepressants, don't even get us started. Suicides, use suicides.
25:44
Speaker 1: We've now got this thing called the loneliness epidemic. It's
25:47
Speaker 1: a real thing. We're all connected than ever before, but
25:50
Speaker 1: we're actually more disconnected than ever before. And then you
25:53
Speaker 1: go through the pandemic on top of that, with this
25:55
Speaker 1: hybrid kind of working environment, ships in the night, you've
25:58
Speaker 1: got a mental health perfect storm. So something's broken. Ninety
26:02
Speaker 1: percent of people who go to work every day in
26:04
Speaker 1: the States, seventy percent here are what they call disengaged
26:09
Speaker 1: actively disengaged. Yep, dude, that's like nine out of ten
26:13
Speaker 1: people in the States going to work, getting the paycheck,
26:16
Speaker 1: coming home and really not giving a shit. And it's
26:19
Speaker 1: not that much better here, right oh my god. And
26:24
Speaker 1: so I want people to be happier now. So therefore
26:29
Speaker 1: we've got to relook at this bucket list. And it's
26:32
Speaker 1: it took me a few years to sort of get
26:33
Speaker 1: my own head around this, but I created this acronym
26:39
Speaker 1: called my bucket list. It's a twelve step program sounds
26:43
Speaker 1: like aa, you might need drink afterwards. Did the Ted
26:48
Speaker 1: talk on it? Which was on my bucket list of
26:51
Speaker 1: you know, it's the core of the book here right here,
26:56
Speaker 1: and it's you know, boom there it is.
26:58
Speaker 2: The twelve go right on the buck yeah.
27:01
Speaker 1: Right. So, in a nutshell, the acronym, the my bucket
27:07
Speaker 1: list blueprint acronym is designed to help people go north
27:10
Speaker 1: south east west in their own brain and help them
27:12
Speaker 1: to extract them. Then articulate is personally meaningful and holistic
27:16
Speaker 1: bucket list and so individual. Right. But when people go
27:21
Speaker 1: through and they really take time out of their lives
27:23
Speaker 1: to work through this and actually write some stuff down,
27:28
Speaker 1: which is, you know, forty six percent, you're forty six
27:31
Speaker 1: percent more likely to have your goals or your bucket
27:35
Speaker 1: list manifest if you actually just write shit down. I
27:41
Speaker 1: go into businesses and I say, hey, write your goals
27:44
Speaker 1: down and it's like I discovered fucking fire. Oh my god,
27:50
Speaker 1: it's right down, you know, right down a bucket list.
27:54
Speaker 1: What yeah, And I'll serve it. And I'm being facetie
28:00
Speaker 1: of course, but I'll go in a room, you know,
28:02
Speaker 1: a thousand people and I'll say, who's got a bucket list?
28:05
Speaker 1: Twenty percent of people put up their hand and half
28:08
Speaker 1: of them will have their hand like that. So you
28:11
Speaker 1: haven't really got it written down, have you. You know,
28:12
Speaker 1: you're not really showing a lot of it. And they're like,
28:14
Speaker 1: all right, you got me. So about ten percent of
28:16
Speaker 1: the room have basically got any goal, let lane a
28:19
Speaker 1: bucket list died and written down. So I'm still on
28:22
Speaker 1: a job, which is cool. And so just having the
28:26
Speaker 1: space that again the time out of their life to
28:28
Speaker 1: work on their life. Separating their daily to do list
28:30
Speaker 1: from their bucket list is a space where they can
28:35
Speaker 1: really think deep, you know, to create their own bucket
28:38
Speaker 1: list using the blueprint to create a partner bucket list
28:42
Speaker 1: as well. Using the blueprint also the take home is
28:46
Speaker 1: to create a family bucket list as well, which which
28:50
Speaker 1: is amazing take home, and then when I go into businesses,
28:53
Speaker 1: it's about writing a business bucket list as well for
28:55
Speaker 1: the team and crazy things happen. Hopefully the part in
29:00
Speaker 1: a bucket, this one that doesn't end in divorce. You
29:03
Speaker 1: can only.
29:06
Speaker 2: Both put that up and go. Jesus, we are completely
29:09
Speaker 2: incompatible here.
29:10
Speaker 1: Yeah you want to go here, I don't want to
29:12
Speaker 1: go there. A right goodbye, but no, it just gets
29:17
Speaker 1: the conversation going. And it's about living proactively, not reactively
29:23
Speaker 1: for most, you know, to stop people just existing and
29:27
Speaker 1: truly truly live, you know, And that's what it's all about.
29:30
Speaker 1: And it's been helping people. And that's why I keep
29:33
Speaker 1: banging the drum. I'm more in love with it, more
29:36
Speaker 1: in love with it my topic. If you like these
29:39
Speaker 1: days that I ever have been. It's crazy to think.
29:43
Speaker 2: The interesting thing you talked about that we've both talked about.
29:48
Speaker 2: That that deferral and people deferring life a massive thing
29:53
Speaker 2: for me which is now tattooed on my arm. And
29:58
Speaker 2: I don't know if you can read this.
30:00
Speaker 1: Say my brother's keeper, what does it say it? Momentum maury,
30:05
Speaker 1: I'm like this far away from getting a momentum moor
30:07
Speaker 1: atat another Yeah, another tattoo you know, like, and I
30:12
Speaker 1: know you know that the l glass of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
30:16
Speaker 1: so yeah, no, I I totally get it, man, And
30:22
Speaker 1: that's you know, do we need these reminders? You know?
30:25
Speaker 1: I get people to create bucket list boards and reverse
30:28
Speaker 1: bucket list boards. It's a visual representation, is mine vis.
30:34
Speaker 2: A vision boards?
30:35
Speaker 1: Yeah?
30:35
Speaker 2: Nice?
30:36
Speaker 1: No stacks of money on there, no affirmations, keep those
30:42
Speaker 1: for the tattoos, all right. But yeah, but but with
30:49
Speaker 1: that visual representation, you know that that that's a miracle
30:54
Speaker 1: in itself with some people when they do it for
30:56
Speaker 1: the first time. The crazy thing is is what you
31:00
Speaker 1: and I take for granted we've been around this personal
31:03
Speaker 1: development stuff is coaching speaking stuff for years and years,
31:07
Speaker 1: but the simplest things, when you go into a lot
31:10
Speaker 1: of groups, the simplest things can be absolutely life changing
31:13
Speaker 1: for people. Which is what I love being, I guess
31:17
Speaker 1: a messenger of this stuff that we learn and then
31:20
Speaker 1: giving that, you know, channeling that for people. It's really cool.
31:25
Speaker 2: And it's amazing when you just create a little bit
31:29
Speaker 2: of space for people and give them a little bit
31:32
Speaker 2: of guide to do stuff with intentions. So one thing
31:36
Speaker 2: that I often do in workshops, and which is why
31:39
Speaker 2: I much prefer doing workshops and keynotes, because, as you know,
31:43
Speaker 2: you can get into the weeds is around a sense
31:48
Speaker 2: of meaning and purpose. And typically when I ask who
31:53
Speaker 2: here has a clear sense of meaning and purpose in
31:56
Speaker 2: their life that they could could communicate right now, it's
32:01
Speaker 2: five to ten percent of the room, right, And we
32:04
Speaker 2: do I talk about it a little bit for a
32:07
Speaker 2: couple of minutes, give them a little bit of a guide,
32:09
Speaker 2: and then we do four minutes of structured thinking and
32:17
Speaker 2: generally sixty to eighty percent of the audience at the
32:20
Speaker 2: end of that have something that they are reasonably happy
32:25
Speaker 2: with right now. That's way further than where they were.
32:29
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, right, your goal now is five
32:33
Speaker 2: minutes every day. I want you to focus on that
32:36
Speaker 2: and do it with intention. Right, So if it's about
32:40
Speaker 2: being the best part, fucking spend five minutes being the
32:42
Speaker 2: best parent that you can be.
32:44
Speaker 3: Right.
32:44
Speaker 2: But it's it's interesting, it's just for me, a lot
32:48
Speaker 2: of just directing people's attention to these big questions and
32:55
Speaker 2: that focus and giving them the space and the encouragement
32:58
Speaker 2: to actually do it.
33:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we work in you know, like Gary van
33:02
Speaker 1: Chuk will say, we live in the world of attention trading,
33:07
Speaker 1: you know, like gay trading, looks, attention trading, attention arbitrage.
33:11
Speaker 1: These days, you know, our attention and therefore our bandwidth
33:17
Speaker 1: is getting pulled in all sorts of different directions. You know,
33:21
Speaker 1: in one minute can be pulled in twenty different directions.
33:24
Speaker 1: To try and focus on anything these days, let alone goals,
33:28
Speaker 1: let alone, bucket list, let alone healthlet is that is
33:32
Speaker 1: the current superpower to be able to just zero in
33:35
Speaker 1: and do just that for a piece of time. You know,
33:41
Speaker 1: Pomodoro technique. Just do something for thirty minutes and don't
33:44
Speaker 1: do anything else. Oh my god, that's a miracle. Yes,
33:49
Speaker 1: So because multitasking has killed us. Multitasking you don't get
33:55
Speaker 1: anything done. Jack of all trades, master of none. So
33:58
Speaker 1: the best CEOs in the world world, you know, they
34:01
Speaker 1: have executive assistants who's you know, it's like you are
34:04
Speaker 1: going to do disappointment with this person, or you're going
34:07
Speaker 1: to concentrate on this task from there to there.
34:10
Speaker 2: That's it.
34:11
Speaker 1: But we've have to become our own gatekeeper, and as
34:16
Speaker 1: a result, we get pulled in all sorts of different
34:18
Speaker 1: directions wherever they what's the good drug that keeps us happy?
34:24
Speaker 2: That serotonin, serotonins oxy Telson Delpamine's where that is, let's.
34:30
Speaker 1: Be honest and we'll go to those tasks that make
34:33
Speaker 1: us feel happy. And so as a result, we're getting
34:38
Speaker 1: pulled in all these different directions. And I guess the
34:43
Speaker 1: cool thing about being a speaker at workshops is, you know,
34:47
Speaker 1: allowing people just to quieten down the noise, increase the
34:51
Speaker 1: focus on the things that allow them to go deeper
34:55
Speaker 1: deep think is a a rarity these days because we're
35:03
Speaker 1: just being pulled on the surface and we're all our
35:06
Speaker 1: attention is everywhere. So yeah, I think there's a place
35:10
Speaker 1: for what we do going forward more.
35:13
Speaker 2: And more because that multitasking a lot of people don't
35:19
Speaker 2: realize as well as not getting anything done properly, is
35:22
Speaker 2: it creates a massive sentence of overwhelm and stress and anxiety.
35:27
Speaker 1: Actually makes you dumb statistically, Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, it's
35:32
Speaker 1: not a badge of honor.
35:35
Speaker 2: Now, given that it's written on the back of your book.
35:38
Speaker 2: I don't think we're going to give anything massive away
35:41
Speaker 2: by quickly going through those twelve steps. And I want
35:44
Speaker 2: to take a pick one or two to focus on
35:45
Speaker 2: because I know you've got a lot of worksheets and stuff,
35:47
Speaker 2: so I don't think we're giving away the secret sauce. No, no,
35:50
Speaker 2: and just quickly talk us through those those twelve do
35:54
Speaker 2: my bucket list and will zero in our one or
35:56
Speaker 2: two for the remallion time.
35:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Look, it's an acronym, like I said, my
36:03
Speaker 1: bucket list. So prepare yourself, people. M stands for meet
36:12
Speaker 1: a personal hero. Who do you want to meet before
36:14
Speaker 1: your time is up? Why? Stands for your proud achievements
36:19
Speaker 1: when you get to that eightieth or one hundredth year,
36:24
Speaker 1: What do you want to be really proud of before
36:26
Speaker 1: your time is up? In the book, I've got like
36:27
Speaker 1: fifty examples of each b by that special something, whether
36:31
Speaker 1: it be for yourself or for someone else. It's the
36:34
Speaker 1: only materialistic part of it. How are you rewarding yourself?
36:38
Speaker 1: You stands for ultimate challenges? You know, what are some physical, emotional,
36:45
Speaker 1: intellectual challenges that you can set for yourself? And fun
36:50
Speaker 1: fact on the other side, check this out on the
36:52
Speaker 1: other side of your bucket list? Is it you that
36:55
Speaker 1: you don't know yet? So I want people to get
36:59
Speaker 1: curiously excited out of this podcast. You're curiously excited about
37:05
Speaker 1: the bigger version of them that exists on the other side,
37:09
Speaker 1: people are dying at People are dying at forty and
37:13
Speaker 1: being buried at eighty. They put a lid on their potential.
37:19
Speaker 1: They get the mortgage, they get the kids, they get
37:21
Speaker 1: the job, they gets the security, and they stop pushing
37:24
Speaker 1: the envelope. Wow, and mental health is going through the roof.
37:30
Speaker 1: Divorce rates are going through the roof. Yeah, you know,
37:33
Speaker 1: health complications go through the roof. So you and I
37:37
Speaker 1: share this. We want to wake people up and start
37:40
Speaker 1: getting curiously excited about the bigger version. How dare you
37:44
Speaker 1: go through this life and not get to experience your
37:47
Speaker 1: own potential in its fullest? That's the human experience. If
37:50
Speaker 1: you ask me you challenge.
37:53
Speaker 2: No, no, no, We're going to stop right there because
37:55
Speaker 2: people can buy the book for the rest because I
37:57
Speaker 2: want to dive in on this right because I think
38:01
Speaker 2: this stuff I'm going to combine too, and the one
38:07
Speaker 2: about your personal achievements and the ultimate challenge. Right, You're
38:11
Speaker 2: going to love this, And I think you're going to
38:12
Speaker 2: get this guy on your podcast. Doctor Stan Beacham, who's
38:16
Speaker 2: been on my podcast a couple of times and is
38:18
Speaker 2: going to be on In the Game very soon, is
38:21
Speaker 2: a psychologist in the State's wrote a brilliant book called
38:23
Speaker 2: Elite Minds, and he was on my podcast and we
38:26
Speaker 2: were talking about just people living in their comfort zone, right,
38:35
Speaker 2: and he said he said a couple of things. So
38:38
Speaker 2: one that we discussed he said, you know, if you
38:42
Speaker 2: get people to think of what are they most proud
38:45
Speaker 2: of right now, and if allow of our listeners think
38:47
Speaker 2: of the stuff that they're most proud of, it involves
38:51
Speaker 2: stress and being out of your comfort zone for ninety
38:54
Speaker 2: five percent of people. Right. So Stan's big question to
38:57
Speaker 2: people is when you or on your deathbed in your nineties,
39:02
Speaker 2: do you want to be looking back on life going
39:05
Speaker 2: that was a comfortable life or do you want to
39:09
Speaker 2: look back and go, that was a life that I
39:11
Speaker 2: could be proud of. And so if it's the latter,
39:15
Speaker 2: then you need to take on as much challenge and
39:18
Speaker 2: responsibility as you can tolerate.
39:20
Speaker 3: Right.
39:20
Speaker 2: But then he also said something that plays into that
39:24
Speaker 2: ultimate challenge where he said that he said, what most
39:27
Speaker 2: people don't realize is in order to live the very
39:30
Speaker 2: best life every nine and then you need to walk
39:33
Speaker 2: right to the edge of yourself and stir into the
39:36
Speaker 2: abyss and learn what it tells you. And then you
39:40
Speaker 2: walk back and you bring that knowledge in and then
39:44
Speaker 2: every nine and in you walk right to the edge
39:47
Speaker 2: of yourself again and you find that over time you
39:50
Speaker 2: need to walk further to reach the edge. Commentary on that.
39:57
Speaker 1: And people another misconsipt of bucket lists playing into that
40:03
Speaker 1: is that people think you've got to be like a
40:06
Speaker 1: sponsored red bull athlete. You know, you've got to got
40:09
Speaker 1: to go and do the Iron Man, You've got to
40:11
Speaker 1: go and do the skydive. You've got to go and
40:14
Speaker 1: climb out ever.
40:15
Speaker 2: A wingsuit flated and stuff like that.
40:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're not a bucket lister unless you're wingsuited.
40:21
Speaker 1: So it's not about that. It's you know, that's that's
40:25
Speaker 1: on the third list that I haven't mentioned yet chapter thirteen,
40:28
Speaker 1: called the fucket List. That's all the shit you just
40:31
Speaker 1: don't want to do. So as a result, it's about
40:36
Speaker 1: pushing your envelope. It's about definitely we addicted. We're as
40:40
Speaker 1: human beings, we're addicted to growth, right, It's the thing
40:44
Speaker 1: that keeps us alive, It keeps the adrenaline up. And again,
40:48
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be extreme, but it's got to
40:50
Speaker 1: be outside of your own comfort zone and whatever you do.
40:54
Speaker 1: And I'll be the first to say this in certainly
40:57
Speaker 1: my work is it's not a pissing contest. It's it's
41:00
Speaker 1: not mine's bigger than yours or I'm more extreme than you.
41:03
Speaker 1: And that's why a lot of people actually don't write
41:06
Speaker 1: goals down leadline bucket list items in the first place,
41:09
Speaker 1: because the fear of disappointment, fear of failure. If I
41:13
Speaker 1: write this down and doesn't come to fruition, I'm going
41:15
Speaker 1: to feel like a loser. Or mine's not as extreme
41:20
Speaker 1: as Paul's, so I'm not even going to try. It's
41:23
Speaker 1: like buck everyone else you do you, o'll do me,
41:28
Speaker 1: and let's share so we can actually help each other.
41:31
Speaker 1: How about that? Look at it abundantly And that's why
41:35
Speaker 1: I love doing it in rooms where people can actually
41:37
Speaker 1: be a resource for each other. Right, but when you're
41:42
Speaker 1: writing this stuff down, I want you to really lock
41:45
Speaker 1: this in. Guys, when you're writing down any goal, any
41:49
Speaker 1: bucket this item, only worry about going to write down.
41:53
Speaker 1: Only worry about the what and the why, not the how.
41:58
Speaker 1: Only worry about the what and the why, not about
42:01
Speaker 1: the how. The how overcomplicates it. I haven't got the money,
42:04
Speaker 1: I haven't got the time, so I want every write
42:05
Speaker 1: down and old people will teach us that if you
42:08
Speaker 1: just type it into Google brain writing it down, then
42:15
Speaker 1: the universe will show you the path in due course.
42:18
Speaker 1: If you want something bad enough, If you want something
42:21
Speaker 1: bad enough, the how will work itself out. When the
42:24
Speaker 1: why makes you cry, the how will work itself out.
42:27
Speaker 1: It will show up. But the problem is you're not
42:30
Speaker 1: even typing it into Google.
42:33
Speaker 2: So how how?
42:34
Speaker 1: How's the world meant to search for that term? Simple?
42:39
Speaker 1: How the resources meant to show up? If you don't
42:41
Speaker 1: tell anyone you know. One of the best ways to
42:44
Speaker 1: lose weight, believe it or not, is to publicly announce
42:47
Speaker 1: it on Facebook.
42:49
Speaker 2: That is, and I often do. There's that social evidence stuff,
42:56
Speaker 2: right because when you do write stuff done or declare it,
43:01
Speaker 2: what you're doing, first of all, is you're paying attention
43:04
Speaker 2: to it, and your brain is starting to commit sales
43:06
Speaker 2: to it, right, And that's got to be the first
43:09
Speaker 2: step in any of this is about getting your brand
43:14
Speaker 2: to commit sales to it. How many people do you
43:18
Speaker 2: find are just completely friezen by fear of failure?
43:29
Speaker 1: Busy half ah, if not more that we'll admit to it, Okay,
43:38
Speaker 1: because there's only so much, you know, to help personal
43:42
Speaker 1: trainer in me. I can't let anything go mate. You know,
43:45
Speaker 1: there's two things that a coach does, you know, the
43:47
Speaker 1: personal trainer does back. You know, speaking in that narrative
43:51
Speaker 1: is objectivity, you know, see the forest from the trees
43:55
Speaker 1: for people because they're so subjective in their own life.
43:58
Speaker 1: And accountability. So you know, I'll openly give my email
44:04
Speaker 1: address to anyone happy to do it on this Send
44:10
Speaker 1: me your bucket list. I'm got a gift for you.
44:15
Speaker 1: Send me your bucket list, and I'll say that room,
44:17
Speaker 1: I'll say that to a room of five hundred people.
44:19
Speaker 1: I don't care, and I'll check them guaranteed that nine
44:25
Speaker 1: people won't do that. They don't want to account they
44:29
Speaker 1: don't want accountability.
44:30
Speaker 2: Around accountability, Yeah, because want you man, it's crazy.
44:34
Speaker 1: I am getting hit with a lot of spam lately.
44:36
Speaker 1: But anyway, that's a whole other bots. Yeah, I'm on
44:43
Speaker 1: the dark web somewhere. But the point, the point being
44:47
Speaker 1: that accountability is everything. And you know that's why if
44:50
Speaker 1: you want to get to the next level in life,
44:54
Speaker 1: get someone around you that will hold you accountable, whether
44:57
Speaker 1: it's you may whoever, but get a bucket this buddy.
45:02
Speaker 1: You know someone that's not going to take your shit,
45:04
Speaker 1: take your excuses, and help you play above the line
45:07
Speaker 1: rather than be a victim music excuses or deny you
45:10
Speaker 1: know your lot in life. That's what it's all about.
45:14
Speaker 1: So to most people, fear of disappointment is the reason
45:20
Speaker 1: why they don't go after the things they really want to.
45:23
Speaker 2: Can I share with you a little accountability exercise that
45:27
Speaker 2: I often do, and I think you'll be a fan
45:30
Speaker 2: of this. And I did one recently. I was doing
45:33
Speaker 2: a workshop in New Zealand and I asked if there
45:36
Speaker 2: was anybody who really really wanted to change your behavior.
45:41
Speaker 2: It was more to around health behavior change, and I
45:45
Speaker 2: wanted to go nuclear. And so this guy said yes.
45:49
Speaker 2: But first of all, so I distracted him a little bit,
45:52
Speaker 2: right and asked him about, you know, somebody that he
45:55
Speaker 2: really admired and told me that. Now I asked about
46:00
Speaker 2: someone or something that he absolutely detested, right, And so
46:05
Speaker 2: he told me that, and then we went back to
46:07
Speaker 2: the to the thing and I said, right, so what's
46:09
Speaker 2: your goal? And this was about a relationship with the phone,
46:11
Speaker 2: and I said, so, imagine I'm the motivation Faierry and
46:17
Speaker 2: I come along with a magic wand and just go
46:19
Speaker 2: bom and it's done right. But you've got to give me,
46:23
Speaker 2: hand me over some money for that to happen. How
46:26
Speaker 2: much would you pay for this to be a reality.
46:28
Speaker 2: It's got to be something that hurts a little bit.
46:31
Speaker 2: And so he gave an amount of money, and I said, right, well,
46:33
Speaker 2: here's the gig. If you and no I shake my
46:37
Speaker 2: hand and you have not achieved this goal, whenever we
46:41
Speaker 2: come back in twelve weeks, you have to take that
46:43
Speaker 2: summer money, which I think was five grand, and you
46:45
Speaker 2: have to give it to this entity that you fucking detest.
46:53
Speaker 2: He laughed uncomfortably. And I'm like, I'm serious, and he's like, okay,
46:57
Speaker 2: I'm in. I'm all right, this is the thing. So
47:01
Speaker 2: and I started this years ago. I saw this thing
47:04
Speaker 2: called kick dot com and it was stuff about people
47:08
Speaker 2: who wanted to achieve their goals and they played some
47:10
Speaker 2: money and they'd have an independent adjudicator and you know,
47:15
Speaker 2: this company would take their money and if you didn't
47:18
Speaker 2: achieve your goal, and it was given to a charity
47:21
Speaker 2: that you loved. And I'm like, that's such a fucking
47:25
Speaker 2: cop out, because you then feel, oh, yeah, that's okay
47:30
Speaker 2: that I feel because this is going to something that
47:33
Speaker 2: I really love. I'm like, fuck that, You've got to
47:37
Speaker 2: commit it to something you detest because bis bass. Right.
47:44
Speaker 2: So there's something called the Bass assessment. And and it's
47:48
Speaker 2: been shown that everybody is motivated by two things. One
47:52
Speaker 2: is the the pleasure or the joy that I'm going
47:57
Speaker 2: to get when I've achieved something, and the other thing
47:59
Speaker 2: is fear of loss. And different people have different motivations.
48:04
Speaker 2: We all have a little bit of both, but some
48:06
Speaker 2: are stronger in others. But the research also shows that
48:10
Speaker 2: as you get closer to potentially towards a goal, it
48:14
Speaker 2: starts to shift for everybody for fear of loss, right,
48:18
Speaker 2: And so for me, it's about how do we use that?
48:20
Speaker 2: How do you amplify that? And you've got to get
48:23
Speaker 2: a summ of money to somebody that you fucking detest.
48:27
Speaker 1: Give money, just put the pine pine, the hurt money,
48:31
Speaker 1: blood money to someone someone that you My when I
48:36
Speaker 1: did this was was one thousand dollars to the nearest
48:39
Speaker 1: Catholic church collection box because I'm i am a recovering
48:44
Speaker 1: Catholic from Northern Ireland.
48:45
Speaker 2: And there was no way that thousand dollars of my
48:49
Speaker 2: heart own money was going into that collection box.
48:53
Speaker 1: I should have used it against you. You get your
48:55
Speaker 1: on my podcast. Luckily you said yes, indeed, Now, I
49:00
Speaker 1: totally I've been involved in that. I've given money away
49:03
Speaker 1: or open check back in the day. I've done that
49:05
Speaker 1: for years. And it's like, give this money to something.
49:09
Speaker 1: If I don't do what I say I'm going to do,
49:10
Speaker 1: give this, give this money away. It's a pain motivator,
49:15
Speaker 1: but it body.
49:16
Speaker 2: Works absolutely, that twenty motivation. No, let just before we
49:22
Speaker 2: finish off, you've already mentioned it. And look, you said
49:26
Speaker 2: there's only one thing that was materialistic on your list
49:30
Speaker 2: of my bucket list, which is cool. And you've already
49:34
Speaker 2: mentioned values. So talk to us about the importance of
49:40
Speaker 2: when people are thinking about the bucket list, of that
49:43
Speaker 2: deeper stuff, like the stuff that's important to your values, virtues, character,
49:50
Speaker 2: that sort of deeper stuff that often we don't really
49:55
Speaker 2: think about or don't use to drive our lives.
49:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, two things popping in there. One is the common
50:02
Speaker 1: misconception about the stuff that I teach is it's all
50:06
Speaker 1: about the tics and having a fun life, But really
50:09
Speaker 1: it's about how everyone instantly reverse engineers every aspect of
50:15
Speaker 1: their life in order to make this stuff come to fruition.
50:18
Speaker 1: It's the growth of them on this journey towards these
50:21
Speaker 1: self imposed destinations, which is what it's all about. But
50:25
Speaker 1: more importantly, like I said, it's a person. It's about
50:27
Speaker 1: the person that exists on the other side, the person
50:29
Speaker 1: they don't know yet. So when you're going through the
50:34
Speaker 1: my bucket list blueprint, you've written it out, then what
50:38
Speaker 1: I want people to do is give it a let's
50:41
Speaker 1: call it a motivation or inspiration level, out of ten,
50:45
Speaker 1: one being not motivated whatsoever, and ten being like I
50:50
Speaker 1: will move mountains to make this happen. If I don't
50:53
Speaker 1: do these eights, nines, and tens, I am going to
50:56
Speaker 1: have a regret full life and regret free life. And
51:02
Speaker 1: it's your eights, nines and tens that I really want
51:05
Speaker 1: people to concentrate on. Then put those eights, nines, and tens,
51:10
Speaker 1: no matter how big or how small they are, in
51:13
Speaker 1: to a ten year plan, create a bucket list budget
51:18
Speaker 1: around it, and before you know it, you've got yourself
51:22
Speaker 1: a lifestyle design. You've got yourself a bucket list life plan,
51:26
Speaker 1: and sure you'll do You'll pick up other things, and
51:30
Speaker 1: there's stuff on there that to get that rather than
51:34
Speaker 1: the ten year plan. That's all well and good, but
51:38
Speaker 1: to give people that hope of like I can really
51:41
Speaker 1: do this. After you've done your big list and you've
51:44
Speaker 1: done the one to ten, look at also your low
51:46
Speaker 1: hanging fruit. What's the things that you can do right
51:50
Speaker 1: like tonight, right now. If one of them is to
51:53
Speaker 1: learn Spanish, cool, download due Lingo and start. If one's
51:58
Speaker 1: to start meditation, then there's apps to do that.
52:02
Speaker 2: Let's go.
52:04
Speaker 1: If there's you know, a cause kind acts for others,
52:08
Speaker 1: or a legacy, which is the l leave a legacy,
52:13
Speaker 1: then put the wheels in motion. I'm doing five six
52:17
Speaker 1: things at the moment. It's not one then the other
52:20
Speaker 1: than the next. It's like I'm living a bucket this
52:22
Speaker 1: life because I'm Some take a little bit more time
52:27
Speaker 1: for more resources, and some I can start straight away.
52:30
Speaker 1: But you tick off a lot of these smaller little
52:32
Speaker 1: ones and that gives you the momentum motivation to smash
52:35
Speaker 1: through the bigger ones. Instead of going to much, you
52:38
Speaker 1: pitch you. And I was saying a lot of this
52:40
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, when people were trapped, feeling trapped and
52:44
Speaker 1: overwhelmed and mental health was going through the roof, and
52:48
Speaker 1: my stuff became a light at the end of the
52:50
Speaker 1: tunnel for a lot of people because it's about giving
52:52
Speaker 1: them the tools rather than just concentrating and you know,
52:57
Speaker 1: talking about depression all the time and getting in you know,
53:00
Speaker 1: the groups and just talking about how bad life. Let's
53:03
Speaker 1: give them some tools, right And still to this day
53:07
Speaker 1: it's relevant, but the momentum and motivation is smashed through
53:11
Speaker 1: the bigger ones and it really does change a person's attitude.
53:15
Speaker 1: You know, be a tourist in your own hometown first,
53:18
Speaker 1: rather than just much you pitch. You know, it's about
53:21
Speaker 1: how you're what are you doing this weekend? So it's
53:25
Speaker 1: about choosing happiness. It's about intentionally proactively living your life.
53:33
Speaker 1: And to the parents out there, to the careers, to
53:37
Speaker 1: the teachers, to the nurses who are all about other people,
53:41
Speaker 1: I want you, and I'd hate using the word selfish,
53:44
Speaker 1: but I want you to do you put your own
53:46
Speaker 1: oxygen mask on first before you can help others. Be
53:50
Speaker 1: it all about you. So you, as a parent, especially,
53:55
Speaker 1: show up as a better example for your kids. You
54:00
Speaker 1: show up as a better leader, as a better teammate,
54:03
Speaker 1: as a better partner. I want you to graduate this
54:08
Speaker 1: as a bucket lister glass half full, not half empty,
54:12
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of half misery loves company. There's
54:15
Speaker 1: enough of them out there, all right, But what we
54:18
Speaker 1: need is more examples out there of Now, I want
54:21
Speaker 1: to be in business. I want to be the partner
54:23
Speaker 1: of I want to be the kid of. I want
54:26
Speaker 1: to be the parent of a bucket lister. Someone's got
54:30
Speaker 1: a fun, adventurous spirit, who's pushing the envelope, who isn't shy,
54:36
Speaker 1: is bold, who's always got a story to tell. I
54:39
Speaker 1: want to do business with someone like that.
54:43
Speaker 2: There's a couple of things just as you were talking
54:46
Speaker 2: that really spring to mind about why this whole bucket
54:51
Speaker 2: less thing is really really useful. I think, especially since
54:56
Speaker 2: the pandemic, we have become more and more forocused on negativity,
55:01
Speaker 2: and there's so much frigging negativity around and a lot
55:06
Speaker 2: of people come home and they complain about their day's
55:09
Speaker 2: work and that sort of stuff, and then they get
55:12
Speaker 2: into that mindset of negativity. But when you get people
55:17
Speaker 2: thinking about you call it that the person who's on
55:20
Speaker 2: the other side, who exists on the other side, I'm
55:24
Speaker 2: quite big at the minute, me and Collie doing a
55:26
Speaker 2: dive into this whole idea of future self and there's
55:29
Speaker 2: a real co research around future self and writing a
55:33
Speaker 2: letter from your future self to you right now, your
55:36
Speaker 2: ideal future self, which is your bucket list, right when
55:38
Speaker 2: you've achieved your bucket list. That's the person on the
55:40
Speaker 2: other side. What this stuff does is it gives people
55:45
Speaker 2: hope and optimism. And hope and optimism are absolutely critical
55:52
Speaker 2: and I think a massive antidote for the way that
55:55
Speaker 2: the world is becoming, particularly post pandemic, where it's all
56:01
Speaker 2: about who's doing fucking what to me? And Hi'm malfa
56:05
Speaker 2: shit and I'm a victim of this, than that and
56:07
Speaker 2: the other thing, And it just puts people into this
56:12
Speaker 2: negative approach of me, me, me, and who's doing what
56:16
Speaker 2: to me, rather than that more self focused but what
56:21
Speaker 2: can my best self actually be?
56:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've all got the hangover from the government, the
56:27
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories, the Facebook groups went wild, and I think
56:33
Speaker 1: we all got PDSD out of it. To be honest,
56:38
Speaker 1: I've got to saying because I've been through depression, you know,
56:42
Speaker 1: and a lot of people who follow you mate, you know,
56:45
Speaker 1: have had similar situations to them. Only worry about the
56:50
Speaker 1: tsunami when it's coming up your drive.
56:53
Speaker 2: Nice.
56:55
Speaker 1: Other than that, just get on with it, because what
57:02
Speaker 1: can you actually do about it? You know, I'm mind you.
57:06
Speaker 1: I'm coming from a place where I'm adopted. My dad
57:11
Speaker 1: is a warfie m u a here to stay in
57:15
Speaker 1: the unions, the whole bit, working working man from the
57:18
Speaker 1: age of sixteen seventeen right through the retirement, you know,
57:22
Speaker 1: blue collar all the way. And me his adopted son,
57:25
Speaker 1: a serial entrepreneur. He still doesn't really understand what I do.
57:29
Speaker 1: But the point is, mind you, I've taken him all
57:33
Speaker 1: around the world. We've done Everest, We've done Kakoda, Oh,
57:37
Speaker 1: we did much Epitchu. We did Kilimanjaro, which nearly killed him.
57:43
Speaker 1: And because of my bucket list where him and I
57:46
Speaker 1: didn't get along really you know, too well grown up,
57:49
Speaker 1: and because of my backup is now we're best mates,
57:53
Speaker 1: you know. And that's the opening, one of the opening
57:55
Speaker 1: stories that I have when I speak, so it brings
58:00
Speaker 1: people together. Certainly has for Dad and I. But you
58:05
Speaker 1: I catch up with him every Friday for a coffee.
58:08
Speaker 1: Still you're still bitching about the government. You're still watching
58:10
Speaker 1: the current affair in the news and comes in with
58:12
Speaker 1: all the bad news. I don't even know you said
58:15
Speaker 1: you see the news. I don't have to watch the news, dad,
58:16
Speaker 1: because you watch it for me, and you you know,
58:19
Speaker 1: you filter all the good stuff. You filter all the
58:23
Speaker 1: good stuff for me. So I don't really you know.
58:25
Speaker 1: And when I went through depression, I switched off the news.
58:27
Speaker 1: Dada got better. Who would have thought, so, be your
58:34
Speaker 1: own news cycle, be the light for other people. And
58:43
Speaker 1: you've got the choice too, consciously. You've got the conscious choice.
58:49
Speaker 1: And don't you know, I'm happy to argue this until
58:51
Speaker 1: I'm blueing the face. You've got the conscious choice to
58:55
Speaker 1: switch on or off your inputs. End of story. You
59:01
Speaker 1: don't have to have all those notifications, you don't have
59:04
Speaker 1: to have all the apps. You don't have to read
59:06
Speaker 1: all your emails, you don't have to read them new
59:08
Speaker 1: you don't have to hang out with those people. Now,
59:11
Speaker 1: there's some people in our lives where you catch up
59:15
Speaker 1: with them, you feel like you need to washer a
59:17
Speaker 1: holiday after catching up with them, right, and look at
59:22
Speaker 1: how much time you got left, like you really want
59:24
Speaker 1: to be spending your time like that? I choose not
59:27
Speaker 1: too simple. I don't live in this blissful unicorn utopian world.
59:31
Speaker 2: I get it.
59:32
Speaker 1: I pick up on the news. I know what's going on.
59:35
Speaker 1: But my time is limited. Your time's limited. Everyone's time
59:38
Speaker 1: is limited. So choose it wisely, choose happiness.
59:42
Speaker 2: I say, yeah, And that's why momentum maury for me,
59:46
Speaker 2: right is wake up every day and have extreme gratitude
59:50
Speaker 2: to be alive. But then what are you going to
59:51
Speaker 2: do with it? So last question, min, is the room
59:55
Speaker 2: on the bucket less fresh stuff that you don't want
59:59
Speaker 2: to happen? Because I tell you, when I think about
1:00:03
Speaker 2: my my my goals in life kind of bucket less stuff.
1:00:07
Speaker 2: My biggest goal. And if I get to my deathbed
1:00:11
Speaker 2: and this is a reality, I think I can look
1:00:14
Speaker 2: back and go that was fucking awesome is not to
1:00:18
Speaker 2: bury one of my children. So is that allowed on
1:00:23
Speaker 2: your bucket list?
1:00:24
Speaker 1: That's just it just went dark really quick. Yeah. I
1:00:29
Speaker 1: can't even amain. Yeah, I mean why not? It's your list.
1:00:36
Speaker 1: There's no judgment, And I think that you know again,
1:00:43
Speaker 1: it's about reverse engineering that what does that actually mean?
1:00:47
Speaker 1: It means I got to stay fucking healthy. Yeah, it
1:00:51
Speaker 1: means I've got to I've got to be top of
1:00:52
Speaker 1: my you know, I've got to be present. I've got
1:00:57
Speaker 1: to take care no matter how old. But yeah, I
1:01:02
Speaker 1: got to look at it after number one, you know,
1:01:04
Speaker 1: so I can be there for them, simple as that.
1:01:07
Speaker 1: And reverse engineering. And again the wealth planners have enough
1:01:11
Speaker 1: resources to be able to handle any elements, any medical
1:01:16
Speaker 1: conditions that are thrown at you and your family, Like,
1:01:20
Speaker 1: get serious about it. What's your insurance not literal insurance policy,
1:01:24
Speaker 1: but but look at your you know your insurance policy
1:01:27
Speaker 1: is looking after yourself.
1:01:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, because part of this, when you think about it,
1:01:32
Speaker 2: you know, a thur chunk of that is stuff that's
1:01:34
Speaker 2: not in my control. But when I think about it,
1:01:38
Speaker 2: there's stuff that is in my control right now. And
1:01:41
Speaker 2: particularly when you think about teenagers is you know, biggest
1:01:45
Speaker 2: stress for teenagers suicides and for teenage boys doing stupid shit.
1:01:51
Speaker 2: So for me like you that I like it. So
1:01:57
Speaker 2: it's like, don't be don't be like me. But I
1:02:01
Speaker 2: think the stuff that I can reverse engineer because I
1:02:04
Speaker 2: have thought about this is I need to be here
1:02:07
Speaker 2: for them in these teenage years. So I've said no
1:02:12
Speaker 2: to lots of shiny business ideas because I know that's
1:02:15
Speaker 2: going to suck up a shitload of time, and I'm
1:02:18
Speaker 2: going to be one of those parents that then goes, fuck,
1:02:21
Speaker 2: I wasn't there for my kid. And so for me,
1:02:24
Speaker 2: that's the bit that I can focus on, that I
1:02:26
Speaker 2: can control. And once they leave the house, you know,
1:02:28
Speaker 2: there's limited, very limited stuff that you can do.
1:02:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got I've got four step kids in my life.
1:02:36
Speaker 1: And I heard a statement. You've probably heard it before.
1:02:39
Speaker 1: People have heard it before, kids spell love to I am.
1:02:43
Speaker 2: A hmmm, I've never heard that, but it's so friggin true.
1:02:49
Speaker 2: They don't care about whether the fuck they're at public
1:02:52
Speaker 2: school or what holidays you bring on them. They just
1:02:55
Speaker 2: want you from all the way from little kids it
1:03:00
Speaker 2: up to teenagers leaving the host they just.
1:03:03
Speaker 1: So when we talk about that multitasking, where do you reckon? So, Paul, mate,
1:03:13
Speaker 1: where do you reckon? They got that from Yeah, that's right. Yeah,
1:03:18
Speaker 1: So it's present.
1:03:20
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry for those who are listening. Trave was visualizing
1:03:24
Speaker 2: being on his phone when the kids are talking to.
1:03:25
Speaker 1: Him, someb typing on a phone, which I never do.
1:03:28
Speaker 1: But yeah, but yeah, it's about being present and we're
1:03:32
Speaker 1: all a victim of not being And you know, I
1:03:37
Speaker 1: think we just need these kind of reminders that, you know,
1:03:42
Speaker 1: be reminded of it when they're doing it. Wonder where
1:03:44
Speaker 1: they got it from. We can easily point the finger,
1:03:46
Speaker 1: but there's three pointing the back of this.
1:03:49
Speaker 2: M absolutely, trave. I am very aware of your time.
1:03:54
Speaker 2: This has been awesome. So if people want to stop
1:04:00
Speaker 2: existing and start living properly, where's the best place to
1:04:05
Speaker 2: send them to get your bucket list, blueprint or book
1:04:08
Speaker 2: you for a talk for their staff? What's the best place?
1:04:13
Speaker 1: Yeah? Man, thank you, and I really appreciate, you know,
1:04:17
Speaker 1: the opportunity to you know, spread the love on your show,
1:04:20
Speaker 1: and you know I can't wait to chat about you
1:04:22
Speaker 1: on mind. So good going on there. So look, man,
1:04:26
Speaker 1: I can just go dub dub dub dot the bucket
1:04:29
Speaker 1: this guy dot com would slash speaking or just the
1:04:33
Speaker 1: bucket this guy dot com. I don't know if I mentioned,
1:04:40
Speaker 1: but it says on there the world's no. I don't
1:04:42
Speaker 1: know if I mentioned that the world's.
1:04:46
Speaker 2: Made it up there the original and the best.
1:04:50
Speaker 1: O.
1:04:50
Speaker 2: G There you go, Trav from P T T P
1:04:56
Speaker 2: D H. Great journey, keep going and out there and
1:05:01
Speaker 2: fucking nudging people just to start living and to actually
1:05:07
Speaker 2: discover who the person is that exists on the other side.
1:05:11
Speaker 1: Love it, Thanks brother,