Latest / WhozYourMama / PART 2 - Navigating Life's Challenges: Jon "THE COBRA" Crosby's Path to Self-Discovery

Transcript

PART 2 - Navigating Life's Challenges: Jon "THE COBRA" Crosby's Path to Self-Discovery · WhozYourMama

• 0:00
  Michelle: Welcome to who's your Mama, a podcast focusing on tomorrow's future, which are our kids, educators, teachers, parents, all encompassing, with the goal of understanding that our brain is a muscle that we can exercise to control the speed in the direction that we want.
• 0:18
  Michelle: Let's go, y'all.
• 0:19
  Michelle: The time is now.
• 0:20
  Michelle: John Crosby of Cobra Crosby Fitness, welcome back to who's your Mama.
• 0:26
  Michelle: Hey, great to see you again, and so we will just dive straight in.
• 0:31
  Michelle: When you were here before, we left off on very positive talking about mental health and strength and empowering yourself, you know, not giving into peer pressure, being really conscious about the people you surround yourself with and I feel very blessed to be surrounding myself with such a positive person like you and going on this mission together and learning more about your story.
• 1:00
  Michelle: That inspired me, and I know it will be inspiring so many others.
• 1:04
  Michelle: So, um, let's take it from there that's the plan um.
• 1:08
  Jon: So we left off at 19.
• 1:11
  Jon: All right, 19, well, 18, high school done.
• 1:17
  Jon: I started at the um, at the gym in Compton um.
• 1:23
  Jon: But what I didn't, what I left out was I had.
• 1:28
  Jon: My first job was at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
• 1:31
  Michelle: Uh-huh.
• 1:32
  Jon: Right there off Manchester and Main, and then I was going back and forth between Roscoe's and the gym and then I ended up having a job at Pizza Hut and Food for Less same time, all while trading.
• 1:49
  Michelle: Oh wow, so then Would you say doing all that stuff?
• 1:56
  Michelle: Obviously, I mean, we all need to make a living, but do you think doing all that at the same time kept you out of trouble?
• 2:03
  Jon: Staying busy definitely keeps you out of trouble.
• 2:05
  Jon: I always liked nice things so I always worked hard to get them like the legal way.
• 2:16
  Michelle: That's a very, very important part of the story.
• 2:20
  Michelle: The legal way.
• 2:21
  Michelle: The legal way, yes.
• 2:23
  Jon: Just do what you got to do.
• 2:24
  Jon: I had a job Both of my jobs like from, because I grew up right there off Century and Western.
• 2:29
  Jon: So I had the Pizza Hut that was off of Century and Vermont and then Food for Less that was off Century and Crenshaw.
• 2:36
  Jon: So I would either go either way with the thing and thing and um, so I will open food for less, and then I will close pizza hut, so middle of the day is when I'm, um, when I'm a train.
• 2:54
  Jon: So it was crazy, um and uh.
• 2:55
  Jon: I liked pizza hut because I got a chance to drive my own car, and fast, because they wasn't gonna pull me over because I was delivering pizza, so I had the hat on to, so I had the hat on, I made sure I had the hat on, so it was fun, until I started realizing that everybody was getting robbed around me but me.
• 3:11
  Jon: I was like all right time for me to go.
• 3:13
  Jon: Yeah, I paid attention to the signals.
• 3:16
  Jon: I was out of there.
• 3:17
  Michelle: Which is important, I think, life lesson being aware of your surroundings and picking up on the signals, like you were saying.
• 3:23
  Michelle: Being aware of your surroundings and picking up on the signals, like you were saying.
• 3:25
  Michelle: Sometimes, I think, when we're so engulfed in our life and and just grinding, we, first of all we, I think, a lot of times forget to have time to smell the roses, so to speak, but also actually being aware of what's going on.
• 3:39
  Michelle: Are we still in an healthy environment or not?
• 3:42
  Jon: remind me to come back to the smell the roses things that's very important later on, maybe like chapter three and four.
• 3:47
  Jon: Okay, um, yeah, so that was around um 19, uh 20, which is around 2003 and four, 2003 and four, so around 2003 or four.
• 4:05
  Jon: I'm working, you know, just just doing my thing with with the boxing thing, and I just had a moment when I was hearing Luther Vandross, dads of my Father, so I just had a breakdown moment for some reason.
• 4:24
  Jon: I don't know what it was and that was my mom's song, so I didn't know what it was.
• 4:29
  Michelle: When you say breakdown, can you expand on that?
• 4:36
  Jon: I had a really, really sad moment and I just started crying when the song started playing and my mom was like.
• 4:47
  Jon: My mom was like what's wrong?
• 4:48
  Jon: I was like, yeah, I don't know what my dad is like, I don't know who my dad is really, or anything like that, so I ain't seen him.
• 4:56
  Jon: I was what?
• 4:57
  Jon: 20 at the time, 20, almost 21, so I haven't seen my dad in.
• 5:04
  Jon: Like it was like 11 years and he just stopped by for like one day and then he was gone.
• 5:11
  Jon: So, um, I don't know, my mom saw how how much that affected me and, um, and she got in contact with him.
• 5:21
  Jon: I don don't know how, I don't even dig into that question but he ended up coming over to my mom's house and we ended up just having a conversation and told me I had three brothers and a sister, you didn't know that you had siblings until then.
• 5:43
  Jon: When I was little they gave me pictures and I didn't know if it was just cousins or it was like my actual brothers or whatever Of that.
• 5:51
  Jon: One time that he came I didn't get a chance to really dig deep into it, but he told me I had three brothers and sisters and my three brothers was living in Long Beach.
• 6:02
  Jon: So yeah, that was a lot to take on.
• 6:09
  Michelle: I mean, I have no doubt that there are so many people that are going to be listening to this video and your story.
• 6:18
  Michelle: There's so much in there that people can relate to.
• 6:23
  Michelle: I cannot relate to that, but I can feel the emotion from you.
• 6:30
  Michelle: I mean, can you expand more about how you felt in that moment when you found out you had siblings?
• 6:43
  Jon: Um, in that moment I felt like I don't, I don't, it's kind of it's kind of hard to explain because I'm very confident and cocky is confidence thin line.
• 7:01
  Jon: You can be very confident or you can be cocky, I totally agree.
• 7:02
  Jon: Confident and cocky is confidence thin line.
• 7:03
  Jon: You can be very confident or you can be cocky, I totally agree.
• 7:06
  Jon: Confident and cocky is a very thin line.
• 7:08
  Jon: So very confident based upon the hard work I do and my skills and hard work I do on myself to try to be different from a lot of people, a lot of men that's out here.
• 7:19
  Jon: I like to stand tall and be someone's confidence?
• 7:23
  Jon: yeah, someone I can be looked up to.
• 7:26
  Jon: So even at that age, I always knew I was different um and I carried myself different um.
• 7:34
  Jon: So I was confident.
• 7:35
  Jon: I was.
• 7:36
  Jon: I was confident and I was happy with the person that I was.
• 7:40
  Jon: But I also felt like um at the same time, like why wasn't I good enough for you to contact me sooner and why did you leave me out when you're raising three brothers and married you, you know?
• 8:05
  Jon: So it was like him having a whole nother family and then just leaving me out to do what I need to do on my own, become my own man.
• 8:10
  Jon: And thank God, I had an older brother and that was 10 years older than me but he still was trying to find himself.
• 8:16
  Jon: At the same time, you know, and you know he had a kid young and different things like that.
• 8:20
  Jon: So him trying to find himself and having a kid young and you know he had a kid young and different things like that.
• 8:24
  Jon: So him trying to find himself and having a kid young and you know, trying to deal with all of that, he's only so much he can do is being a big brother.
• 8:29
  Jon: You know what I'm saying.
• 8:30
  Jon: So I had to learn and I had to pay attention to everybody else's mistakes, to learn, not to make those mistakes.
• 8:37
  Jon: So but in that moment I felt like that's, I didn't.
• 8:44
  Jon: I didn't like that.
• 8:44
  Jon: I kind of felt I didn't feel like less, but I felt like less at the same time.
• 8:52
  Michelle: Yeah, of course I mean I can only imagine the just hurricane almost of emotions that were coming through your, and I mean it would be.
• 9:04
  Michelle: It's be impossible to process all of that in one, one sitting.
• 9:10
  Michelle: How, so how did you continue to process it after that big, big download of very, very personal information?
• 9:24
  Jon: I just jumped in and went to his house and stayed.
• 9:30
  Jon: I went over a couple of times to meet my brothers and my dad's wife and it was really warming and welcoming.
• 9:45
  Jon: So I wanted to stay to really just learn.
• 9:50
  Jon: Learn them and be with them.
• 9:52
  Jon: Yeah, develop a relationship with them?
• 9:55
  Michelle: did they not know?
• 9:55
  Michelle: Did they know about you before?
• 10:00
  Jon: you came over my brother, my older.
• 10:02
  Jon: My brother is six months older than me, let that sink in.
• 10:08
  Jon: So my brother six months older than me.
• 10:10
  Jon: He said that my dad didn't tell him about me until he was already in high school.
• 10:15
  Jon: And he said he said that my dad just said do you have a?
• 10:20
  Jon: He?
• 10:20
  Jon: My brother was just chilling in the kitchen and my dad walked him to him and say you have a brother.
• 10:25
  Jon: He's.
• 10:26
  Jon: He's same age as you and he lives in California.
• 10:30
  Michelle: Oh, my goodness me, I call those and please know I'm not making light of this.
• 10:33
  Michelle: They call them past assault moments.
• 10:35
  Michelle: You know, you're you're talking about your business and then all of a sudden somebody just dropped something huge and you're like what?
• 10:46
  Jon: cuz, they lived in Syracuse.
• 10:48
  Jon: So he was, you know they was, they was having a home, life and family matters, life and all of that, and I'm out here in California, um, so I don't know exactly when they moved to Long Beach, but, um, they was in Syracuse at the time and he dropped the thing, so it wasn't like he could just catch a bus to come see me.
• 11:10
  Jon: Um, but yeah, that was a big bomb that he dropped on my brother, but that was.
• 11:15
  Jon: They was in high school, so when we all came together it was just like it was crazy.
• 11:23
  Michelle: How did your mom feel about that?
• 11:25
  Michelle: Was she encouraging?
• 11:30
  Michelle: I'm sure it was pretty emotional for her as well.
• 11:32
  Michelle: I mean, she definitely honored you by getting in touch with him, I mean.
• 11:38
  Jon: But yeah, I don't know.
• 11:39
  Jon: I don't really know how my mom, I think my mom just wanted to.
• 11:42
  Jon: My mom always wanted to see me happy Um, so she was happy that I was able to um just just be able to get the info that I was looking for and be able to actually meet him as an adult.
• 11:57
  Jon: You know, cause I was an adult at the time and I finally got a chance to meet him and stuff like that.
• 12:03
  Jon: I just really felt like, um, I was robbed from growing up with my brothers that was my same age, like was one um six months older than me, another one two years younger than me, another one like three or four years younger than me.
• 12:22
  Jon: So I was really robbed of like real relationships with them, you know, and um, and he was robbed of.
• 12:33
  Michelle: He robbed himself of watching me grow, you know, um being around me what is your relationship like with your siblings now and with your father and I don't know if he's still married to your stepmom.
• 12:48
  Jon: Yeah, he's still married and I don't know.
• 12:57
  Jon: It's just, it's just weird.
• 12:58
  Jon: I'm still cool with my brothers.
• 13:00
  Jon: We're not close like that.
• 13:02
  Jon: I'm a little bit closer to the brother that's six months older than me.
• 13:08
  Jon: We make contact every now and then, but we just because we came together when we was adults and we all had our own lives and our own friends and different things like that.
• 13:22
  Jon: And Long Beach was not close, you know, and I already had two jobs and I already had so much stuff going on, so we never really like got came together.
• 13:33
  Jon: It's like real close, but we're cool.
• 13:36
  Jon: I mean, they got my Facebook, they got my number and you know I'm not really too close to my dad like that.
• 13:46
  Jon: I just felt like he didn't.
• 13:54
  Jon: After he met, after he like like met me as an adult, and when I got a chance to stay over there, we just never really like formed a real relationship like that.
• 14:04
  Jon: So after that time you, you know he did help me um find a boxing gym, that uh.
• 14:13
  Jon: That ended up um leading me to go to, uh, orange County to train every day, um, which led to some other things but, um, yeah, it's just, it's no, no real relationship with him.
• 14:33
  Jon: Um and uh, my brothers and I are just cool yeah.
• 14:40
  Michelle: So then take us on um.
• 14:42
  Michelle: After that, take us on um, uh, your journey.
• 14:46
  Michelle: Once um once, you really started getting into boxing so.
• 14:54
  Jon: So that was around 2004.
• 14:56
  Jon: All of that happened between 2004 2000.
• 15:01
  Jon: It's a big year.
• 15:02
  Jon: Yeah, that was a big year.
• 15:03
  Jon: I started training in Orange County at this gym called DG boxing gym.
• 15:14
  Jon: It was one right off of 7th and 7th and because 7th go up to 22, which leads to the freeway, so it was like right off seventh and um long beach or something.
• 15:31
  Jon: Is it still around um?
• 15:33
  Jon: That one is the one in orange county, it's not.
• 15:36
  Jon: So I went out there and I just started going out there every day and holding in my skills and just trying to find the right coach and the right fit.
• 15:49
  Jon: And, yeah, I stayed there for a couple of years, had a couple of amateur fights there and I threw out my shoulder in a fight that I had in Vegas.
• 16:07
  Michelle: I threw out my shoulder in a fight that I had in Vegas.
• 16:16
  Jon: And how long did that put you out for?
• 16:20
  Jon: For about five months, because it was sore.
• 16:24
  Jon: I had switched from Pizza Hut because that was getting robbed over there, and then I had Food for Less to her because that was getting robbed over there, and then I have food for less and food for less.
• 16:34
  Michelle: Manager was the food for less manager, some people taking their trash cans back okay, okay, all right.
• 16:45
  Jon: So I switched from pizza because they was getting robbed and then I went food for less manager was taking away my hours because I was trying to, you know, manage the work and then go on boxing and stuff.
• 17:01
  Jon: So I ended up quitting that and I ended up getting a job at Friday's CGI, friday's Magic Johnson, friday's in La Dera and I ended up getting a job at Jamba Juice, which was literally across the park.
• 17:19
  Michelle: That's smart, yeah, making use of your time.
• 17:22
  Jon: So before, because I had opened that one up that was in La Dera.
• 17:27
  Jon: La Dera wasn't even open at the time, so I was going to um the Jamba Juice right here, right off Century again, I was just going there at like 4.50 in the morning to open it up.
• 17:39
  Jon: And then so I started working at um Food for Less and I mean um Fridays and and jamba juice, and that was around like 2004.
• 17:53
  Jon: 2004 was crazy, so that all of that was in 2004 and while I got those two jobs.
• 18:02
  Jon: So when I got, when I got hurt in 2005, I just started working more.
• 18:07
  Jon: You know, I started working more and then, uh, since I wasn't going to that gym in Orange County, no more, I ended up finding a gym in El Segundo from one of the guys that worked at um that I met at um in, uh, one of the gyms in Orange County which was called Knockout, which is not there, no more, which one of of the gyms in Orange County which was called Knockout, which is not there, no more, which was one of my favorite gyms.
• 18:33
  Jon: So in 2005 and 2006, I started working out at Knockout Gym and that's when I had first started working with kids is there.
• 18:51
  Jon: I was in there from when I wasn't working at Friday's and Jamba Juice.
• 18:58
  Jon: I was in that gym two times a day, morning and night, and I knew everybody there and all the kids that would come in there.
• 19:07
  Jon: They loved my style of boxing, they loved my dedication and stuff.
• 19:16
  Jon: And then they asked me what I might be working with them.
• 19:18
  Jon: So you know, I had already was doing personal training at the time too, On and off, like like clients, every here and here and there.
• 19:31
  Jon: But they was trying.
• 19:32
  Jon: They was asking me how much I charged.
• 19:34
  Jon: I was like you guys are kids, I'm not charging you anything.
• 19:36
  Jon: So so you did it for free.
• 19:38
  Jon: I did it for free.
• 19:40
  Michelle: Um, it was this dude has one of the biggest hearts.
• 19:42
  Michelle: Uh, just quick little side note, if you didn't already gather that.
• 19:47
  Michelle: So wow, yeah, so I was training them.
• 19:50
  Jon: How old were they kids?
• 19:51
  Jon: What range?
• 19:52
  Jon: They ranged from 13, 15, 12, another 13.
• 20:04
  Jon: And the youngest one was like 9 or 8.
• 20:07
  Jon: So it was like nine or eight.
• 20:09
  Jon: So it was like five kids.
• 20:13
  Jon: I have a picture that I'm gonna send her so she can put right up in there, and it was like one of the best times.
• 20:20
  Michelle: That's amazing your face lights up when you talk about them.
• 20:22
  Michelle: Did you feel like, in some ways, like going back to what you were sharing before about your family?
• 20:25
  Michelle: In some ways did you feel like you were showing before about your family?
• 20:28
  Michelle: In some ways, you feel like that was that gave you that family dynamic, working with the kids?
• 20:33
  Jon: It definitely gave me a family dynamic.
• 20:34
  Jon: We was going there every day and was all getting along and I was seeing the progress that they was coming along with and the joy that it was bringing to them, you know, and we was able to do fundraisers and stuff for the gym and they was able to.
• 20:48
  Jon: you know, do uh showcase their boxing skills and stuff there too.
• 20:51
  Jon: So it was, it was, it was, it was really, really fun.
• 20:55
  Jon: And that's when I got into uh wanted to.
• 20:57
  Jon: Um, I did start a non-profit back then, but I didn't.
• 21:02
  Jon: I was in taxis and I didn't know how to do all that.
• 21:04
  Jon: All I I knew how to go was to downtown.
• 21:07
  Jon: I went to the Secretariat of State and filed my articles of incorporation.
• 21:11
  Jon: I did that back in 2005.
• 21:12
  Jon: 2005 or 2006.
• 21:14
  Jon: But I never got like taxis in.
• 21:16
  Jon: So it was just like, but that's when I fell in love with, with training kids and, um, yeah, yeah, that's from 19 to 2005.
• 21:40
  Michelle: so like how old I would have been in 2005, 2005, 22, 21, 22 so that was what 20 years ago no 18, since we're talking age 47 um, but yeah, that was a lot in that in, in, in that time it sure was.
• 22:06
  Jon: That was a lot from in that time.
• 22:09
  Jon: It sure was that was a lot, from graduating high school, starting at the gym in Compton, to 2005.
• 22:21
  Jon: I graduated high school in 2002.
• 22:24
  Jon: So from 2002 to 2005 was insane.
• 22:31
  Michelle: I mean it really was in such a short period of time.
• 22:33
  Michelle: You went, for you know, through some really life changing experiences that very much, with the way that you handled it, paved you know, decades later for you and, um, I think that's a great place for us to um, stop here because, uh, I know that you just launched your program with kids again, and so that's something I want to continue talking about.
• 22:59
  Michelle: And then also the journey.
• 23:02
  Michelle: I mean, we're just scratching the surface with this and I think that it's really, really important that and thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story about what happened, um, with your family and finding out you had siblings, and and that feeling of abandonment was really, uh, something that I think a lot of people can relate to not feeling like you're good enough, and how you built yourself back up in terms of that internal strength and yeah, what, what?
• 23:37
  Jon: what I did was I looked at it as in.
• 23:41
  Jon: You missed out, and that's how you got to look at it.
• 23:45
  Jon: If somebody leaves you, somebody abandons you, somebody just like just walks away and just leave you to feed for yourself and fend for yourself, you got to look at it as you lost right you lost out on a great opportunity, because I am one person that you should have had in your life.
• 24:05
  Jon: You know, I've never been to to jail, never been on drugs or anything like that.
• 24:11
  Jon: I'm a stand-up dude, you know I'm always looking out for people and I've been training people for 20 years, so I love to see you know.
• 24:19
  Jon: I love to help other people.
• 24:20
  Michelle: Yeah, we definitely share that the acts of service and helping everyone, and that was a big, big motivator of why I wanted to start who's your Mama.
• 24:30
  Michelle: So for all of you out there that you feel like you're alone you're not.
• 24:35
  Michelle: I look forward to us continuing this journey with John the Cobra Crosby and let's go y'all.
• 24:44
  Michelle: The time is now.
• 24:45
  Michelle: Thank you for tuning in to who's your Mama and I look forward to collaborating from a community standpoint for the next episodes.