Latest / Confident and Empowered Women / She Stopped Performing Perfect and He Actually Stayed | EP 315

Transcript

She Stopped Performing Perfect and He Actually Stayed | EP 315 · Confident and Empowered Women

• 0:05
  If
• 0:05
  you've
• 0:06
  ever
• 0:06
  found
• 0:06
  yourself
• 0:07
  performing
• 0:08
  the
• 0:08
  easygoing,
• 0:09
  go
• 0:09
  with
• 0:09
  the
• 0:09
  flow,
• 0:10
  I
• 0:10
  am
• 0:10
  so
• 0:11
  low
• 0:11
  maintenance
• 0:11
  version
• 0:12
  of
• 0:12
  yourself
• 0:13
  for
• 0:13
  someone
• 0:14
  who
• 0:14
  ain't
• 0:14
  even
• 0:15
  close
• 0:16
  to
• 0:16
  being
• 0:16
  the
• 0:16
  one,
• 0:17
  lock
• 0:17
  in
• 0:18
  friend,
• 0:18
  because
• 0:19
  I
• 0:19
  have
• 0:20
  something
• 0:20
  to
• 0:20
  tell
• 0:21
  you
• 0:22
  about
• 0:22
  what
• 0:22
  happened
• 0:23
  when
• 0:23
  I
• 0:23
  finally
• 0:24
  stopped
• 0:25
  auditioning,
• 0:26
  and
• 0:26
  it
• 0:26
  was
• 0:27
  the
• 0:27
  shift
• 0:27
  that
• 0:28
  actually
• 0:28
  took
• 0:29
  me
• 0:29
  in
• 0:29
  the
• 0:29
  direction
• 0:30
  I
• 0:30
  really
• 0:30
  wanted
• 0:31
  to
• 0:31
  go.
• 0:31
  So
• 0:32
  let's
• 0:32
  get
• 0:33
  into
• 0:33
  it
• 0:35
  And
• 0:35
  friend,
• 0:36
  welcome
• 0:36
  to
• 0:36
  the
• 0:37
  group
• 0:37
  chat
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  actually
• 0:38
  wanna
• 0:38
  be
• 0:38
  a
• 0:38
  part
• 0:39
  of.
• 0:41
  I'm
• 0:41
  Letitia,
• 0:42
  your
• 0:42
  new
• 0:43
  favorite
• 0:44
  podcast
• 0:44
  bestie.
• 0:45
  This
• 0:45
  is
• 0:46
  Confident
• 0:46
  and
• 0:46
  Empowered
• 0:47
  Women,
• 0:47
  Where
• 0:48
  we
• 0:48
  have
• 0:48
  the
• 0:49
  real
• 0:49
  kind
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  honest
• 0:50
  conversations
• 0:50
  that
• 0:51
  have
• 0:51
  you
• 0:51
  fixing
• 0:51
  your
• 0:52
  crown
• 0:52
  and
• 0:52
  clutching
• 0:53
  your
• 0:53
  pearls
• 0:53
  in
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  best
• 0:54
  way.
• 0:56
  So
• 0:56
  if
• 0:57
  you
• 0:57
  have
• 0:57
  been
• 0:57
  looking
• 0:58
  for
• 0:58
  your
• 0:58
  people,
• 0:59
  hey,
• 0:59
  girl,
• 0:59
  hey.
• 1:00
  We
• 1:00
  right
• 1:01
  here.
• 1:03
  Hit
• 1:03
  that
• 1:04
  subscribe
• 1:04
  button
• 1:05
  so
• 1:05
  you
• 1:05
  never
• 1:06
  miss
• 1:06
  a
• 1:06
  chance
• 1:07
  to
• 1:07
  level
• 1:07
  up
• 1:08
  in
• 1:08
  real
• 1:08
  time.
• 1:09
  Okay?
• 1:10
  Okay.
• 1:11
  Now
• 1:11
  let's
• 1:12
  go
• 1:15
  hey,
• 1:15
  hey,
• 1:15
  hey,
• 1:15
  friend.
• 1:16
  You
• 1:16
  know
• 1:17
  the
• 1:17
  one
• 1:17
  place
• 1:18
  perfectionism
• 1:19
  loves
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  hide
• 1:20
  is
• 1:20
  in
• 1:21
  your
• 1:21
  relationships.
• 1:23
  And
• 1:23
  the
• 1:24
  identity
• 1:24
  shift
• 1:25
  that
• 1:25
  happens
• 1:25
  when
• 1:26
  you
• 1:26
  stop
• 1:26
  performing
• 1:27
  perfect
• 1:27
  for
• 1:27
  people
• 1:28
  and
• 1:28
  start
• 1:29
  simply
• 1:29
  being
• 1:29
  you,
• 1:30
  that
• 1:31
  is
• 1:31
  where
• 1:31
  it's
• 1:32
  at.
• 1:32
  So
• 1:33
  story
• 1:33
  time.
• 1:34
  Let's
• 1:35
  take
• 1:35
  you
• 1:35
  back
• 1:36
  to
• 1:36
  The
• 1:37
  10-ish
• 1:37
  years
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  dating.
• 1:39
  The
• 1:39
  situationship.
• 1:41
  The
• 1:41
  let
• 1:41
  me
• 1:41
  see
• 1:42
  where
• 1:42
  this
• 1:42
  goes
• 1:42
  energy.
• 1:43
  Playing
• 1:44
  the
• 1:44
  convincing
• 1:45
  game
• 1:45
  when
• 1:45
  he
• 1:45
  wanted
• 1:46
  companionship
• 1:47
  and
• 1:47
  I
• 1:48
  wanted
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  commitment.
• 1:49
  Both
• 1:50
  people
• 1:50
  wanting
• 1:51
  different
• 1:51
  things,
• 1:52
  and
• 1:53
  it
• 1:53
  was
• 1:53
  always
• 1:54
  me
• 1:54
  working
• 1:55
  overtime
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  try
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  close
• 1:57
  the
• 1:57
  gap.
• 1:57
  Friend,
• 1:58
  listen.
• 1:59
  Real
• 1:59
  talk,
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  was
• 2:00
  catfishing
• 2:01
  my
• 2:02
  own
• 2:02
  self.
• 2:04
  Pretending
• 2:04
  to
• 2:04
  be
• 2:05
  a
• 2:05
  woman
• 2:05
  I
• 2:05
  was
• 2:06
  not
• 2:06
  just
• 2:07
  so
• 2:07
  someone
• 2:08
  who
• 2:08
  was
• 2:09
  not
• 2:09
  even
• 2:09
  my
• 2:09
  person
• 2:10
  would
• 2:11
  choose
• 2:11
  me.
• 2:12
  Let
• 2:13
  me
• 2:13
  give
• 2:13
  you
• 2:13
  the
• 2:14
  CliffNotes
• 2:14
  to
• 2:14
  the
• 2:14
  story,
• 2:15
  okay?
• 2:15
  'Cause
• 2:16
  listen,
• 2:16
  there
• 2:16
  was
• 2:16
  this
• 2:17
  one
• 2:17
  time,
• 2:18
  okay?
• 2:19
  This
• 2:19
  man,
• 2:20
  who
• 2:20
  mind
• 2:20
  you,
• 2:20
  on
• 2:21
  his
• 2:21
  profile
• 2:21
  said
• 2:22
  he
• 2:22
  was
• 2:22
  5'10",
• 2:23
  okay?
• 2:24
  Listen,
• 2:25
  when
• 2:25
  he
• 2:25
  got
• 2:25
  out
• 2:26
  that
• 2:26
  lifted
• 2:26
  truck,
• 2:27
  those
• 2:28
  wittle
• 2:28
  feet
• 2:29
  hit
• 2:29
  the
• 2:29
  ground,
• 2:29
  he
• 2:30
  had
• 2:30
  to
• 2:31
  be
• 2:31
  4
• 2:31
  foot
• 2:31
  11.
• 2:33
  And
• 2:33
  I'm
• 2:34
  not
• 2:34
  even
• 2:34
  exaggerating,
• 2:35
  okay?
• 2:35
  I'm
• 2:35
  not
• 2:35
  even
• 2:36
  putting
• 2:36
  20
• 2:36
  on
• 2:37
  10
• 2:37
  this
• 2:37
  time
• 2:38
  because
• 2:41
  my
• 2:41
  sister
• 2:41
  is
• 2:42
  a
• 2:42
  shorty,
• 2:43
  so
• 2:43
  I
• 2:43
  can
• 2:43
  spot
• 2:44
  that
• 2:44
  height
• 2:44
  on
• 2:45
  sight,
• 2:45
  okay?
• 2:49
  And
• 2:50
  when
• 2:50
  I
• 2:50
  look
• 2:50
  back
• 2:51
  at
• 2:51
  that
• 2:51
  time,
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  can
• 2:53
  see
• 2:53
  why
• 2:53
  those
• 2:54
  experiences
• 2:55
  were
• 2:55
  even
• 2:56
  in
• 2:56
  my
• 2:56
  realm.
• 2:57
  Everything
• 2:58
  with
• 2:59
  the
• 2:59
  situationship
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  the
• 3:01
  catfishing
• 3:02
  were
• 3:02
  all
• 3:03
  showing
• 3:03
  me
• 3:03
  something
• 3:04
  that
• 3:04
  I
• 3:05
  was
• 3:05
  not
• 3:05
  ready
• 3:06
  to
• 3:06
  see
• 3:06
  at
• 3:07
  the
• 3:07
  time.
• 3:08
  Friend,
• 3:09
  have
• 3:09
  you
• 3:09
  been
• 3:09
  there?
• 3:10
  In
• 3:10
  a
• 3:11
  relationship
• 3:11
  with
• 3:12
  someone
• 3:12
  who
• 3:12
  clearly
• 3:13
  wanted
• 3:14
  something
• 3:14
  different
• 3:15
  than
• 3:15
  you,
• 3:16
  but
• 3:16
  yet
• 3:17
  you
• 3:17
  stayed
• 3:18
  because
• 3:18
  he
• 3:18
  was
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  nice
• 3:19
  guy,
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  maybe
• 3:21
  if
• 3:21
  he
• 3:21
  could
• 3:21
  just
• 3:22
  see
• 3:22
  how
• 3:22
  wonderful
• 3:23
  you
• 3:23
  are,
• 3:23
  he'd
• 3:24
  be
• 3:24
  convinced
• 3:25
  to
• 3:25
  give
• 3:25
  up
• 3:26
  his
• 3:26
  position
• 3:27
  and
• 3:27
  what
• 3:27
  he
• 3:27
  wanted
• 3:28
  to
• 3:29
  be
• 3:29
  with
• 3:29
  you,
• 3:30
  or
• 3:31
  experiencing
• 3:32
  a
• 3:32
  catfish
• 3:33
  but
• 3:33
  not
• 3:33
  recognizing
• 3:34
  where
• 3:34
  you
• 3:35
  haven't
• 3:36
  been
• 3:36
  showing
• 3:36
  up
• 3:37
  as
• 3:37
  your
• 3:37
  true
• 3:37
  self
• 3:38
  in
• 3:38
  some
• 3:38
  way
• 3:39
  Performing
• 3:40
  perfect
• 3:40
  in
• 3:41
  a
• 3:41
  relationship
• 3:42
  is
• 3:42
  not
• 3:42
  love.
• 3:43
  It's
• 3:44
  fear,
• 3:44
  fear
• 3:45
  that
• 3:45
  the
• 3:45
  real
• 3:46
  version
• 3:46
  of
• 3:46
  you,
• 3:47
  your
• 3:48
  standards,
• 3:48
  desires,
• 3:49
  your
• 3:49
  actual
• 3:50
  self
• 3:51
  is
• 3:51
  too
• 3:51
  much,
• 3:52
  not
• 3:52
  enough,
• 3:53
  or
• 3:54
  something
• 3:54
  that
• 3:54
  needs
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  be
• 3:55
  managed
• 3:56
  and
• 3:56
  minimized
• 3:57
  before
• 3:58
  someone
• 3:58
  will
• 3:59
  stay.
• 3:59
  And
• 4:00
  friend,
• 4:00
  here's
• 4:00
  the
• 4:01
  thing
• 4:01
  about
• 4:01
  performing
• 4:02
  for
• 4:02
  someone
• 4:03
  who's
• 4:03
  not
• 4:04
  your
• 4:04
  person.
• 4:05
  You
• 4:06
  cannot
• 4:06
  attract
• 4:07
  everything
• 4:08
  while
• 4:08
  you're
• 4:09
  still
• 4:09
  entertaining
• 4:10
  nothing.
• 4:11
  The
• 4:12
  mirror
• 4:12
  principle
• 4:13
  works
• 4:13
  both
• 4:14
  ways.
• 4:14
  When
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  changed,
• 4:16
  what
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  attracted
• 4:18
  changed.
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  stopped
• 4:20
  auditioning
• 4:20
  for
• 4:21
  a
• 4:21
  role
• 4:21
  that
• 4:21
  was
• 4:22
  already
• 4:22
  mine
• 4:23
  When
• 4:24
  things
• 4:24
  took
• 4:24
  a
• 4:24
  turn
• 4:25
  into
• 4:25
  a
• 4:25
  better
• 4:26
  direction,
• 4:26
  it
• 4:27
  came
• 4:27
  after
• 4:28
  my
• 4:28
  mom
• 4:29
  made
• 4:29
  her
• 4:29
  transition
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  heaven
• 4:31
  because
• 4:32
  all
• 4:32
  of
• 4:33
  the
• 4:33
  convincing
• 4:34
  energy
• 4:34
  was
• 4:35
  gone.
• 4:36
  All
• 4:36
  of
• 4:36
  that
• 4:37
  performing,
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  just
• 4:38
  didn't
• 4:39
  have
• 4:39
  it
• 4:39
  in
• 4:40
  me
• 4:40
  anymore.
• 4:41
  Playing
• 4:42
  the
• 4:42
  easygoing
• 4:43
  girl,
• 4:44
  not
• 4:44
  making
• 4:44
  too
• 4:45
  many
• 4:45
  demands,
• 4:46
  going
• 4:46
  with
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  flow
• 4:47
  even
• 4:48
  when
• 4:48
  the
• 4:48
  flow
• 4:48
  was
• 4:48
  taking
• 4:49
  me
• 4:49
  nowhere
• 4:51
  Grief
• 4:52
  cracked
• 4:52
  everything
• 4:53
  open
• 4:54
  and
• 4:54
  stripped
• 4:55
  away
• 4:55
  every
• 4:56
  version
• 4:57
  I
• 4:57
  had
• 4:57
  been
• 4:57
  performing.
• 4:58
  Truthfully,
• 4:59
  one
• 5:00
  of
• 5:00
  the
• 5:00
  biggest
• 5:00
  lessons
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  learned
• 5:01
  was
• 5:02
  not
• 5:02
  just
• 5:02
  that
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  was
• 5:03
  putting
• 5:04
  on
• 5:04
  this
• 5:05
  perfect
• 5:05
  persona
• 5:06
  in
• 5:06
  relationships,
• 5:07
  but
• 5:08
  I
• 5:08
  was
• 5:08
  creating
• 5:09
  a
• 5:09
  disconnect
• 5:10
  within
• 5:10
  myself
• 5:12
  by
• 5:12
  being
• 5:12
  someone
• 5:13
  that
• 5:13
  I
• 5:13
  wasn't,
• 5:14
  by
• 5:15
  watering
• 5:15
  myself
• 5:16
  down,
• 5:17
  diluting
• 5:17
  my
• 5:18
  own
• 5:18
  true
• 5:18
  essence.
• 5:19
  It
• 5:19
  made
• 5:20
  it
• 5:20
  hard
• 5:20
  for
• 5:20
  me
• 5:21
  to
• 5:21
  see
• 5:21
  my
• 5:21
  own
• 5:22
  beauty
• 5:22
  and
• 5:23
  brilliance.
• 5:24
  That's
• 5:24
  why
• 5:25
  for
• 5:25
  so
• 5:25
  long
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  thought
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  needed
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  do
• 5:27
  that,
• 5:28
  for
• 5:28
  someone
• 5:29
  to
• 5:29
  truly
• 5:29
  want
• 5:30
  to
• 5:30
  be
• 5:30
  in
• 5:30
  a
• 5:30
  relationship
• 5:31
  with
• 5:31
  me
• 5:32
  and
• 5:32
  love
• 5:32
  me
• 5:32
  for
• 5:33
  who
• 5:33
  I
• 5:33
  am.
• 5:34
  But
• 5:34
  how
• 5:34
  could
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  happen
• 5:35
  when
• 5:36
  I
• 5:36
  was
• 5:36
  never
• 5:36
  really
• 5:37
  showing
• 5:37
  them
• 5:37
  who
• 5:38
  I
• 5:38
  really
• 5:39
  was?
• 5:40
  Well,
• 5:40
  listen,
• 5:41
  grief
• 5:42
  came
• 5:42
  through
• 5:42
  and
• 5:43
  stripped
• 5:43
  away
• 5:44
  every
• 5:45
  mask
• 5:46
  I
• 5:46
  ever
• 5:47
  hid
• 5:47
  behind.
• 5:49
  I
• 5:49
  wasn't
• 5:49
  perfectly
• 5:50
  healed,
• 5:51
  but
• 5:51
  I
• 5:51
  was
• 5:52
  perfectly
• 5:52
  real.
• 5:54
  And
• 5:54
  during
• 5:54
  that
• 5:55
  season,
• 5:55
  I
• 5:56
  declared,
• 5:57
  "God
• 5:57
  made
• 5:57
  me
• 5:58
  a
• 5:58
  wife."
• 5:59
  Next
• 6:00
  thing
• 6:00
  I
• 6:00
  know,
• 6:01
  I
• 6:01
  done
• 6:01
  left
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  almost
• 6:02
  situation,
• 6:04
  stopped
• 6:04
  trying
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  be
• 6:06
  easy
• 6:06
  to
• 6:07
  get
• 6:07
  along
• 6:07
  with,
• 6:08
  and
• 6:08
  started
• 6:08
  simply
• 6:09
  being
• 6:09
  real.
• 6:10
  And
• 6:10
  shortly
• 6:11
  after
• 6:11
  that,
• 6:11
  my
• 6:12
  husband
• 6:12
  arrived.
• 6:13
  He
• 6:13
  did
• 6:13
  not
• 6:14
  need
• 6:14
  me
• 6:15
  to
• 6:15
  prove
• 6:15
  anything.
• 6:16
  He
• 6:16
  saw
• 6:17
  me,
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  truest,
• 6:19
  most
• 6:19
  authentic
• 6:20
  me,
• 6:21
  and
• 6:21
  he
• 6:22
  had
• 6:22
  to
• 6:22
  have
• 6:23
  it,
• 6:23
  mm-kay?
• 6:27
  And
• 6:27
  listen,
• 6:27
  friend,
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  real
• 6:29
  ones
• 6:29
  do
• 6:30
  not
• 6:30
  need
• 6:31
  the
• 6:31
  performance.
• 6:32
  They
• 6:32
  just
• 6:33
  need
• 6:34
  you
• 6:36
  And
• 6:37
  friend,
• 6:37
  if
• 6:37
  you
• 6:37
  wanna
• 6:37
  take
• 6:38
  everything
• 6:38
  that
• 6:38
  we're
• 6:39
  talking
• 6:39
  about
• 6:39
  and
• 6:39
  apply
• 6:40
  it
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  you,
• 6:41
  the
• 6:41
  main
• 6:42
  character
• 6:42
  energy
• 6:43
  journal
• 6:43
  prompts
• 6:44
  were
• 6:44
  made
• 6:44
  for
• 6:44
  this
• 6:45
  exact
• 6:45
  moment.
• 6:46
  These
• 6:46
  are
• 6:46
  not
• 6:47
  your
• 6:47
  average
• 6:48
  think
• 6:48
  positive
• 6:49
  and
• 6:49
  write
• 6:49
  it
• 6:49
  down
• 6:50
  prompts,
• 6:50
  okay?
• 6:51
  These
• 6:52
  are
• 6:52
  designed
• 6:52
  to
• 6:52
  help
• 6:53
  you
• 6:53
  get
• 6:53
  radically
• 6:54
  honest
• 6:55
  about
• 6:55
  who
• 6:56
  you
• 6:56
  are,
• 6:56
  what
• 6:57
  you
• 6:57
  want,
• 6:58
  and
• 6:58
  who
• 6:58
  you're
• 6:58
  becoming.
• 7:00
  They
• 7:00
  are
• 7:00
  gonna
• 7:00
  walk
• 7:00
  you
• 7:01
  right
• 7:01
  into
• 7:02
  the
• 7:02
  identity
• 7:03
  shift
• 7:03
  work
• 7:03
  that
• 7:03
  we
• 7:04
  just
• 7:04
  did
• 7:04
  together,
• 7:05
  but
• 7:05
  deeper,
• 7:06
  and
• 7:06
  on
• 7:06
  your
• 7:06
  terms,
• 7:07
  at
• 7:07
  your
• 7:08
  pace.
• 7:08
  They're
• 7:09
  linked
• 7:09
  in
• 7:09
  the
• 7:09
  show
• 7:09
  notes
• 7:10
  right
• 7:10
  now.
• 7:11
  No
• 7:11
  more
• 7:11
  waiting
• 7:12
  for
• 7:12
  things
• 7:12
  to
• 7:12
  change.
• 7:13
  This
• 7:13
  is
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  being
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  change
• 7:16
  by
• 7:16
  taking
• 7:17
  the
• 7:17
  next
• 7:17
  step
• 7:20
  Okay,
• 7:20
  friend,
• 7:20
  it
• 7:21
  is
• 7:21
  time
• 7:21
  for
• 7:22
  the
• 7:22
  self-love
• 7:22
  two-step
• 7:23
  with
• 7:24
  the
• 7:24
  remix.
• 7:25
  You
• 7:25
  already
• 7:26
  know
• 7:26
  we
• 7:27
  love
• 7:27
  this
• 7:27
  part
• 7:27
  of
• 7:28
  the
• 7:28
  show.
• 7:28
  This
• 7:28
  is
• 7:28
  where
• 7:29
  we
• 7:29
  take
• 7:29
  everything
• 7:30
  that
• 7:30
  we
• 7:30
  just
• 7:30
  talked
• 7:30
  about
• 7:31
  and
• 7:31
  we
• 7:31
  turn
• 7:32
  it
• 7:32
  into
• 7:32
  something
• 7:33
  you
• 7:33
  can
• 7:33
  actually
• 7:34
  do
• 7:34
  because
• 7:34
  information
• 7:35
  without
• 7:36
  application
• 7:37
  is
• 7:37
  just
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  really
• 7:38
  good
• 7:38
  conversation,
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  we
• 7:40
  came
• 7:40
  here
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  shift,
• 7:41
  okay?
• 7:42
  So
• 7:43
  let's
• 7:43
  go.
• 7:45
  Step
• 7:46
  one,
• 7:46
  the
• 7:47
  honesty
• 7:47
  step.
• 7:48
  Pick
• 7:48
  one
• 7:49
  relationship,
• 7:50
  romantic,
• 7:51
  friendship,
• 7:52
  or
• 7:52
  family,
• 7:53
  where
• 7:53
  you
• 7:54
  know
• 7:55
  you
• 7:55
  have
• 7:55
  been
• 7:56
  performing
• 7:56
  a
• 7:57
  version
• 7:57
  of
• 7:58
  yourself.
• 7:59
  Not
• 7:59
  necessarily
• 8:00
  lying,
• 8:01
  And
• 8:01
  maybe
• 8:01
  not
• 8:02
  even
• 8:02
  pretending
• 8:03
  entirely,
• 8:04
  but
• 8:05
  you
• 8:05
  have
• 8:06
  this
• 8:06
  version
• 8:07
  of
• 8:07
  yourself
• 8:08
  that
• 8:08
  you've
• 8:08
  edited
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  a
• 8:09
  T,
• 8:10
  the
• 8:10
  softening,
• 8:11
  making
• 8:11
  yourself
• 8:12
  more
• 8:12
  convenient.
• 8:13
  Write
• 8:14
  down
• 8:14
  what
• 8:15
  you
• 8:15
  edit
• 8:15
  out
• 8:16
  when
• 8:17
  you
• 8:17
  are
• 8:17
  with
• 8:18
  this
• 8:18
  person
• 8:19
  What
• 8:19
  do
• 8:19
  you
• 8:19
  not
• 8:20
  say?
• 8:20
  What
• 8:21
  do
• 8:21
  you
• 8:21
  not
• 8:22
  ask
• 8:22
  for?
• 8:23
  What
• 8:23
  do
• 8:23
  you
• 8:24
  pretend
• 8:25
  you
• 8:25
  are
• 8:25
  okay
• 8:26
  with?
• 8:26
  That
• 8:27
  list
• 8:27
  is
• 8:28
  showing
• 8:28
  you
• 8:28
  where
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  performance
• 8:29
  lives.
• 8:30
  Step
• 8:30
  two
• 8:31
  is
• 8:31
  the
• 8:31
  declaration
• 8:32
  step.
• 8:33
  Now
• 8:33
  write
• 8:34
  the
• 8:34
  sentence
• 8:35
  that
• 8:36
  the
• 8:36
  real
• 8:36
  version
• 8:37
  of
• 8:37
  you
• 8:37
  raw
• 8:38
  and
• 8:38
  uncut,
• 8:39
  unperformed
• 8:41
  would
• 8:41
  actually
• 8:41
  say,
• 8:42
  not
• 8:43
  what
• 8:43
  you
• 8:43
  think
• 8:44
  She
• 8:44
  should
• 8:44
  say,
• 8:45
  but
• 8:45
  what
• 8:46
  she
• 8:46
  actually
• 8:47
  would.
• 8:47
  Start
• 8:48
  with,
• 8:49
  "I
• 8:49
  am
• 8:49
  a
• 8:49
  woman
• 8:50
  who
• 8:50
  does
• 8:50
  not
• 8:50
  shrink
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  fit.
• 8:52
  I
• 8:52
  am
• 8:53
  a
• 8:53
  woman
• 8:53
  who..."
• 8:55
  And
• 8:55
  then
• 8:56
  let
• 8:56
  her
• 8:56
  finish
• 8:56
  it.
• 8:57
  Read
• 8:57
  it
• 8:57
  out
• 8:58
  loud.
• 8:58
  That
• 8:59
  is
• 8:59
  your
• 8:59
  new
• 9:00
  standard,
• 9:01
  and
• 9:01
  any
• 9:01
  relationship
• 9:02
  that
• 9:02
  cannot
• 9:03
  hold
• 9:03
  that
• 9:03
  standard
• 9:04
  is
• 9:04
  information,
• 9:05
  not
• 9:06
  a
• 9:06
  failure,
• 9:07
  okay?
• 9:07
  And
• 9:08
  step
• 9:08
  three,
• 9:09
  the
• 9:09
  you
• 9:09
  step.
• 9:10
  You
• 9:10
  get
• 9:10
  still,
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  get
• 9:11
  quiet,
• 9:12
  and
• 9:12
  you
• 9:12
  ask
• 9:13
  yourself,
• 9:14
  "What
• 9:14
  is
• 9:14
  my
• 9:14
  heart
• 9:15
  telling
• 9:16
  me
• 9:16
  to
• 9:16
  do
• 9:17
  next?"
• 9:17
  Because
• 9:18
  whatever
• 9:18
  comes
• 9:18
  up,
• 9:19
  that
• 9:19
  is
• 9:20
  your
• 9:20
  next
• 9:21
  right
• 9:21
  aligned
• 9:22
  step.
• 9:22
  Not
• 9:23
  the
• 9:23
  whole
• 9:23
  plan,
• 9:24
  just
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  next
• 9:25
  move.
• 9:25
  So
• 9:26
  trust
• 9:26
  her,
• 9:26
  friend.
• 9:27
  She
• 9:28
  already
• 9:28
  knows.
• 9:29
  Now
• 9:29
  let
• 9:30
  me
• 9:30
  pour
• 9:30
  into
• 9:31
  you
• 9:31
  real
• 9:31
  quick,
• 9:31
  okay?
• 9:32
  Listen,
• 9:33
  friend,
• 9:33
  what
• 9:34
  you
• 9:34
  just
• 9:34
  sat
• 9:35
  with
• 9:35
  is
• 9:35
  not
• 9:36
  small.
• 9:37
  You
• 9:37
  looked
• 9:37
  at
• 9:38
  the
• 9:38
  place
• 9:38
  where
• 9:39
  you've
• 9:39
  been
• 9:39
  trading
• 9:40
  your
• 9:40
  realness
• 9:41
  for
• 9:41
  someone
• 9:41
  else's
• 9:42
  comfortable
• 9:43
  version
• 9:43
  of
• 9:44
  reality,
• 9:45
  and
• 9:45
  you
• 9:45
  told
• 9:46
  the
• 9:46
  truth
• 9:46
  about
• 9:47
  it
• 9:47
  gently
• 9:48
  without
• 9:49
  tearing
• 9:49
  yourself
• 9:50
  down.
• 9:50
  That
• 9:51
  takes
• 9:51
  courage
• 9:52
  because
• 9:52
  the
• 9:53
  woman
• 9:53
  who
• 9:53
  performs
• 9:54
  perfect
• 9:54
  in
• 9:55
  her
• 9:55
  relationships
• 9:56
  is
• 9:56
  not
• 9:57
  doing
• 9:57
  it
• 9:57
  because
• 9:57
  she's
• 9:58
  weak.
• 9:58
  She's
• 9:59
  doing
• 9:59
  it
• 9:59
  because
• 10:00
  somewhere
• 10:00
  along
• 10:00
  the
• 10:01
  way
• 10:01
  she
• 10:02
  learned
• 10:02
  that
• 10:02
  her
• 10:02
  real
• 10:03
  self
• 10:03
  was
• 10:04
  too
• 10:04
  much,
• 10:04
  not
• 10:05
  enough,
• 10:05
  or
• 10:06
  needed
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  be
• 10:06
  quieter
• 10:07
  to
• 10:08
  be
• 10:08
  loved.
• 10:09
  She
• 10:10
  was
• 10:10
  wrong,
• 10:10
  friend,
• 10:11
  and
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  know
• 10:12
  it
• 10:12
  too.
• 10:13
  The
• 10:13
  real
• 10:13
  ones
• 10:14
  will
• 10:14
  see
• 10:15
  you
• 10:15
  The
• 10:15
  real
• 10:16
  ones
• 10:16
  already
• 10:17
  are.
• 10:17
  You
• 10:17
  do
• 10:18
  not
• 10:18
  have
• 10:18
  to
• 10:18
  earn
• 10:19
  love
• 10:20
  by
• 10:20
  making
• 10:20
  yourself
• 10:21
  smaller
• 10:22
  to
• 10:22
  receive
• 10:22
  it.
• 10:23
  You
• 10:23
  just
• 10:23
  have
• 10:23
  to
• 10:24
  be
• 10:24
  willing
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  be
• 10:24
  seen,
• 10:25
  including
• 10:26
  by
• 10:26
  you.
• 10:27
  You
• 10:28
  must
• 10:28
  see
• 10:29
  your
• 10:29
  own
• 10:30
  value,
• 10:31
  worth,
• 10:31
  and
• 10:32
  all
• 10:32
  the
• 10:32
  things
• 10:32
  that
• 10:33
  make
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  uniquely
• 10:34
  you.
• 10:35
  Accept
• 10:36
  her
• 10:36
  fully,
• 10:37
  unconditionally.
• 10:39
  The
• 10:39
  more
• 10:39
  conditions
• 10:40
  you
• 10:40
  take
• 10:41
  off
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  love,
• 10:42
  the
• 10:42
  more
• 10:43
  freely
• 10:43
  you
• 10:44
  can
• 10:44
  love
• 10:44
  and
• 10:45
  receive
• 10:45
  love.
• 10:46
  Love
• 10:46
  does
• 10:47
  not
• 10:47
  require
• 10:47
  you
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  be
• 10:48
  perfect
• 10:49
  or
• 10:50
  to
• 10:50
  show
• 10:50
  up
• 10:50
  as
• 10:51
  anything
• 10:51
  other
• 10:52
  than
• 10:52
  who
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  are
• 10:53
  in
• 10:53
  all
• 10:54
  your
• 10:54
  glory.
• 10:55
  Do
• 10:55
  not
• 10:56
  rob
• 10:56
  the
• 10:56
  right
• 10:57
  people
• 10:57
  of
• 10:58
  the
• 10:58
  opportunity
• 10:59
  of
• 10:59
  knowing
• 10:59
  you,
• 11:00
  experiencing
• 11:01
  you
• 11:02
  and
• 11:02
  loving
• 11:03
  you
• 11:03
  as
• 11:03
  is.
• 11:05
  You
• 11:05
  be
• 11:05
  the
• 11:05
  one
• 11:06
  to
• 11:06
  go
• 11:06
  first.
• 11:07
  Tis
• 11:07
  the
• 11:08
  season
• 11:08
  to
• 11:08
  like
• 11:09
  and
• 11:09
  love
• 11:10
  yourself
• 11:11
  from
• 11:12
  every
• 11:12
  quirk,
• 11:12
  random
• 11:13
  fact,
• 11:14
  flawed,
• 11:15
  imperfect,
• 11:16
  and
• 11:16
  beautiful
• 11:17
  aspect
• 11:18
  of
• 11:18
  you.
• 11:18
  Listen,
• 11:19
  just
• 11:20
  like
• 11:20
  Miss
• 11:20
  Pearly
• 11:21
  told
• 11:21
  Craig
• 11:21
  when
• 11:22
  he
• 11:22
  criticized
• 11:22
  her
• 11:22
  mustache,
• 11:24
  she
• 11:24
  said,
• 11:24
  "I
• 11:25
  know
• 11:25
  somebody
• 11:26
  like
• 11:26
  it."
• 11:34
  Yes,
• 11:35
  friend.
• 11:35
  Somebody
• 11:36
  gonna
• 11:36
  like
• 11:36
  it
• 11:36
  and
• 11:37
  love
• 11:37
  it
• 11:37
  there,
• 11:37
  okay?
• 11:41
  Now
• 11:42
  listen,
• 11:42
  I
• 11:43
  know
• 11:43
  I'm
• 11:43
  making
• 11:44
  light
• 11:44
  of
• 11:44
  this
• 11:45
  with
• 11:45
  that
• 11:45
  analogy.
• 11:46
  But
• 11:46
  friend,
• 11:47
  use
• 11:48
  it
• 11:48
  as
• 11:48
  information,
• 11:49
  as
• 11:50
  discernment
• 11:51
  for
• 11:51
  who
• 11:52
  is
• 11:52
  for
• 11:52
  you
• 11:53
  and
• 11:53
  who
• 11:53
  is
• 11:54
  not.
• 11:55
  You
• 11:56
  be
• 11:57
  for
• 11:57
  you.
• 11:58
  You
• 11:58
  go
• 11:59
  first
• 12:00
  And
• 12:00
  watch
• 12:00
  the
• 12:01
  love
• 12:01
  you've
• 12:01
  been
• 12:02
  dreaming
• 12:02
  of
• 12:03
  rise
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  meet
• 12:04
  you
• 12:04
  there
• 12:07
  Friend,
• 12:08
  yes.
• 12:08
  This
• 12:09
  is
• 12:10
  very
• 12:11
  much
• 12:11
  giving
• 12:11
  main
• 12:12
  character
• 12:12
  energy,
• 12:13
  and
• 12:13
  that
• 12:14
  is
• 12:14
  you.
• 12:15
  Your
• 12:16
  main
• 12:16
  character
• 12:17
  era
• 12:17
  has
• 12:18
  arrived.
• 12:19
  Now
• 12:19
  listen,
• 12:20
  to
• 12:20
  support
• 12:20
  the
• 12:21
  show,
• 12:21
  leave
• 12:22
  a
• 12:22
  review
• 12:23
  and
• 12:23
  tell
• 12:23
  me
• 12:24
  what
• 12:24
  has
• 12:25
  shifted
• 12:25
  for
• 12:25
  you.
• 12:26
  It's
• 12:26
  the
• 12:26
  best
• 12:27
  way
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  spread
• 12:28
  positive
• 12:28
  messages
• 12:29
  just
• 12:30
  like
• 12:30
  this
• 12:30
  far
• 12:31
  and
• 12:31
  wide,
• 12:32
  honey,
• 12:32
  because
• 12:33
  we
• 12:33
  need
• 12:33
  it
• 12:34
  now
• 12:34
  more
• 12:35
  than
• 12:35
  ever
• 12:36
  And
• 12:37
  great
• 12:37
  job
• 12:38
  doing
• 12:38
  your
• 12:39
  work.
• 12:40
  Friend,
• 12:40
  I
• 12:41
  am
• 12:41
  cheering
• 12:41
  for
• 12:42
  you
• 12:42
  loud
• 12:43
  and
• 12:43
  obnoxiously
• 12:44
  always.
• 12:45
  Crown
• 12:46
  on,
• 12:46
  queen,
• 12:47
  all
• 12:47
  because
• 12:48
  together
• 12:48
  we
• 12:48
  can
• 12:49
  encourage
• 12:50
  over
• 12:50
  everything