Latest / Too Awkward for a Twosome / When Main Character Syndrome Causes You to Diminish Everyone Else's Story

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When Main Character Syndrome Causes You to Diminish Everyone Else's Story · Too Awkward for a Twosome

• In-person participant 1: Hey, quick pause. If this episode is hitting you and you're ready for real tools, here's what we built. Clint - Mic: Hey, quick pause. If this episode is hitting you and you're ready for real tools, here's what we built. Head on over to CJElevatedLife.com, pick up the Rebuilt Method for Men or the Rebuilt Method for Women, just $67 each. We also created the Parasite Detox Blueprint at $37. And this is actually the exact protocol we use ourselves. And... Elevated Life: Welcome to Elevated Life Real Wellness and Transformation podcast, where we walk alongside the internally driven individual as they transform their life through wellness, movement, mindset, and personal responsibility. If that's you, you're in the right place. Let's jump in. Clint: We've ended at this one a couple of times, so now we're finally gonna go ahead and do it. So we are talking about main character syndrome. I'm gonna read a paragraph here and then we can we can jump in just so we're all on the same page. 'Cause it's it can get a little muddy, I think, and we'll obviously get into it. But main character syndrome is a pop culture and social media term. Elevated Life: Hey friends, if you're getting something out of this, connect with us on our social media platforms. We're at CJElevatedLife underscore on Instagram and TikTok and CJElevatedLife on Facebook and X. We're answering DMs, sharing daily content and building community with people ready for real transformation. For now, hit subscribe wherever you're listening, Apple, Spotify, YouTube. We drop two new episodes every week. And if this episode resonates, share it. Johnna: Fina F and Lee. So we're talking about main Yeah. 'Cause it's it can get a little muddy. Yeah. I think and In-person participant 1: $67 each we also created the parasite detox blueprint at $37 and this is actually the exact protocol And while you're there sign up for the newsletter You'll get the weekly action steps and new tools. We've tested ourselves. Let's get back to the episode Johnna: Main character syndrome is a pop culture and social media term. Clint: Not a recognized psychological diagnosis. It describes a pattern in which someone views themselves as the central protagonist of life and unconsciously treats other people as supporting characters in their own story. Experts consistently emphasize that it is not listed in psychiatric diagnostic manuals and should not be confused with a formal mental health disorder. Elevated Life: That's how we reach more people who are ready for change. You can also find everything at CJElevatedLife.com. All right, let's keep going. Clint - Mic: You'll get the weekly action steps and new tools we've tested ourselves. Let's get back to the episode. Johnna: someone views themselves as the central protagonist of life and unconsciously treats other people as supporting characters in their own story. Experts consistently emphasize that it is not listed in psychiatric diagnostic manuals and should not be confused with a formal mental health disorder. Yes. Although it definitely smarts of narcissism. And if you haven't listened to our narcissism podcast, there is a spectrum. And guess what, humans? Y'all fall on it. Everyone falls on the narcissistic spectrum. And it's funny because, you know, that word right now Clint: Sure. And if you haven't listened to our narcissism podcast, there is a spectrum. And guess what, humans, y'all fall on it. Everyone you know, that word right now it's like everyone's pointing at everyone else saying, You're a narcissist. Yeah, this you're a narcissist. We're all narcissists and we all have main character syndrome. It's just the lack of self awareness, the lack of being ⁓ just aware of other people that pushes you further on that spectrum. This is just the social media. Johnna: It's like everyone's pointing at everyone else saying, You're a narcissist 'cause you did this. You're a narcissist. We're all narcissists and we all have main character syndrome. It's just the lack of self awareness, the lack of being ⁓ just aware of other people that pushes you further on that spectrum. This is just the social media version of narcissism. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. And and with just like with narcissism, main character syndrome isn't necessarily always a bad thing. No. And and we'll get into it. Yeah. As we move along. But it certainly is something that excuse me, that has risen in awareness, obviously, you know, based on what I just read, because of social media and Clint: Yeah, it really is. And and with just like with narcissism, main character syndrome isn't necessarily always a bad thing. No. And and we'll get into it a as we move along, but it certainly is something that excuse me, that has risen in awareness, obviously, you know, based on what I just read, because of social media and you know those things. I think it's probably existed longer than social media has at some version. But yeah, but it's just this main character syndrome concept has really been highlighted because it it it tends to be like I said, we'll get into all the the specifics, but it tends to be Johnna: you know, those things. I think it's probably existed longer than social media has. Well for sure. Narcissism has. Yeah. But i it's just this main character syndrome concept has really been highlighted because it it it tends to be, ⁓ like I said, we'll get into all the the specifics. But it tends to be a little more like localized. Yeah. You know, situationally based or whatever versus narcissism generally speaking is like, ⁓ no, you're just a narcissist. That's all the time with everything. Right. Exactly. I would I would say that for sure. So main character syndrome is the tendency to view yourself as the hero in every story, prioritize your own narrative above others. Clint: a little more like localized, you know, situationally based, you know, whatever, versus narcissism generally speaking, is like, ⁓ no, you're just a narcissist. That's all the time with everything. Right. Exactly. So main character syndrome is the tendency to view yourself as the hero in every story, prioritize your own narrative above others, and interpret events as revolving prime primarily around you. And we all have these tendencies. And I think that the reason why we want to do this podcast like we do all the other podcasts is so Johnna: And interpret events as revolving prime primarily around you. And we all have these tendencies. And I think that the reason why we want to do this podcast, like we do all the other podcasts, is so when you see this, you can't unsee it. And you can't unsee it in other people. And it's really important, gu guys, that you Clint: When you see this you can't unsee it. And you can't unsee it in other people and it's really important guys that you don't unsee it in yourself. Yeah. Because there are times when I definitely struggle with main character syndrome. We talked about this before. Like answer my emails faster because I I don't you have others. Johnna: Don't unsee it in yourself because there are times when I definitely struggle with main character syndrome. We've talked about this before, like answer my emails faster, please. Like I I don't care if you have other shit going on in your life. So, you know, th it's just important that you look at yourself obviously first and then realize where this is happening in your environment. Clint: Yeah. So, you know, th it's just ⁓ important that you look at yourself obviously first and then realize where this is happening in your environment. Mm-hmm. And then because I'm trying more and more to be more and more transparent on these, the other I struggle with the other side of it. Johnna: The other I struggle with the other side of it. The you know, the other side of main Clint: the you know, the other side of main character syndrome would be, you know, like you're a an NPC, a non playable character in your own life. Right. And it's just like, well, okay, everybody else is doing their thing and, you know, I'm not important enough to be involved in that or I I need to take a back seat all the time in my own shit, which also is is a bad thing or can be a bad thing. Johnna: in your own life. Right just like, well, okay, everybody else is be involved in that or I I need to take a backseat all the time in my own shit, which also is is a bad thing. Which is really interesting because it all stems from the same trauma or self ⁓ who you are, which is low self esteem, shame, guilt, like all those things, right? It's interesting how it manifests differently in different people. Clint: Same or trauma or Which is low self esteem, shame, guilt, like all those things, right? It's interesting how it manifests differently in different people. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. So do you want to continue? Sure. Do you want me just to keep reading? Or I I like good definitions and not just made up jana versions of them because there's too many words in that that don't need to be there. Mm-hmm. Johnna: Right? Absolutely. All right. So do you want to continue? Sure. Do you want me to keep reading? Sure. Or I I like good definitions and not just made up jonna versions of them because there's too many words in that that don't need to be there. So let's let's jump down to kind of where where this particular unless there was something else. Yeah. You know what it is. ⁓ how it Clint: So let's let's jump down to kinda where where this parti unless there was something else. I think we kinda already talked about you know what it is. how it it this specific thing, main character syndrome, how it it's really come into the zeitgeist of today. Johnna: it this specific thing, main character syndrome, how it it's really come into the zeitgeist of today. Yeah. like we said, with social media and really starting out as main character energy is kind of where it gets its ⁓ formation from. So Clint: like we said, with social media and really starting out as main character energy is is kind of where it gets its ⁓ formation from. So and and it comes from a good place, really, with the social media aspect of it, even because there was a lot of emphasis specifically on TikTok and Instagram, you know, which tend to be more person focused than like news focused or that kind of thing. Talking about Johnna: And and it comes from a good place. Yeah. Really. With the social media aspect of it even, 'cause there was a lot of emphasis specifically on TikTok and Instagram, you know, which tend to be more person focused than like news focused kind of thing. Talking about Clint: emphasizing appreciating small moments, taking ownership of your own goals, becoming more confident, living intentionally, really focusing on yourself. Yeah. Which is fantastic. I mean y Johnna: emphasizing appreciating small moments, taking ownership of your own goals, becoming more confident, living intentionally, really focusing on yourself. Yeah. Which is fantastic. I agree. Like and I don't even pe a lot of, you know, people have an issue with ⁓ people are only posting good things all about themselves. Yeah, no shit. Like I'm cool with that. Right? Like Clint: Like I'm cool with that. Right? Like, post about yourself. You are the main character in your story. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Right. And so that's where it I mean I Johnna: Post about yourself. You are the main character in your story. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Right. And so that's I mean I I guess I would I would definitely Clint: I guess I would I would definitely agree with you in in the terms specifically around social media because you know the reality of of social media is it it is just about you. Yeah. Things that you're posting about you. And you know, I I get I think we we now Johnna: specifically around social media because you know the reality of of social media is i it it is just about you. Yeah. Things that you're posting about you. Yeah. And y you know, I I get I think we we now ⁓ you know if we try to go into the Wayback Machine and think about when all these things kind of first started at various levels Clint: ⁓ you know, if we try to go into the way back machine and think about when all these things kind of first started at various levels, ⁓ it it really was just what you were doing. Who you know, your the events in your life. I mean, I can remember the first time I got a MySpace page. Johnna: ⁓ it it really was just what you were doing. Yeah. You know, your events in your life. I mean, I can remember the first time I got a MySpace page, I lived in Maryland and my parents lived in Washington, my brothers and everything and had young kids. Clint: I lived in Maryland and my parents lived in Washington, my brothers and everything and had young kids. And it was like, ⁓ well and this, you know, we're talking like you couldn't really even send pictures via email 'cause, you know, it'd take a day for it to load and it wouldn't so it's like th w what a great way to just put some pictures up, you know, my Johnna: And it was like, ⁓ well and this you know, we're talking like you couldn't really even send pictures via email. You know, it'd take a day for it to load and it wouldn't so like th what a great way to just put some pictures up, you know, my I got this little video of my kid taking their first steps. Sure and, you know, people weren't there but they could see it. Right. And so that you know, that's what that main character energy was. ⁓ Clint: I got this little video of my kid taking their first steps, and you know, people weren't there, but they could see it. Right. And so that, you know, that's what that main character energy was. now people have such an expectation of it, I think, and this is just a little mini tangent of social media, that social media is for them. It's almost like it's it's transferred. That main character syndrome is transferred, meaning Johnna: Now people have such an expectation of it, I think, and this is just a little mini tangent of social media, that social media is for them. It's almost like it's it's transferred, that main character syndrome is transferred. Meaning Clint: Other people should be posting stuff that I'm interested in. Right. Like which is just so asinine to me. Yeah. You know, like Johnna: Other people should be posting stuff that I'm interested in. Right. Like which is just so asinine to me. Yeah. Or the blowback when you're not posting something that they like. Yeah. Right? That's main character syndrome. Yeah. Or it's like, well, you know, to your point, like people just posting good stuff, like, well, why aren't they posting all the bad shit that's happening to them too? Yeah. Because they don't want it out there. Totally. Or they don't fucking want to because who wants to do that? I yeah. So anyway. Clint: Yeah. Or Yeah. Or it's like, well, you know, to your point, like people just posting good stuff, like, well, why aren't they posting all the bad shit that's happening to ⁓ too? Like 'cause they don't want it out there. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it's been a fascinating transition and that's that's really the development where it crossed over from the main character energy into being more of a you know, I know they really wanted to emphasize where we got this definition, it's not a psychologically diagnosed thing, but main character syndrome. Right. Johnna: Fascinating transition. And that's really the development where it crossed over from the main character energy into being more of a you know, I know they really wanted to emphasize where we got this definition, it's not a psychologically, but main character syndrome. Right. Clint: So ⁓ who is exhibiting okay, this is ⁓ Johnna: So someone who ⁓ is ⁓ exhibiting okay, so this is the the ⁓ not healthy. Side of main character system ⁓ syndrome constantly seeking to be the center of attention, right? And this is an everyday life, this isn't just on social media. Of course, you're the center of attention on your own frickin' page. Believe their experiences are more important than others, tell stories that always cast them as the hero or the victim, expect special treatment. Clint: Mm-hmm. seeking to be the center of attention, right? And this is in everyday life. This isn't just on social media. First you're the center of attention on your own work and page. Believe their experiences That always casts them as the hero or the victim. Expect special treatment. Interpret neutral events as being all about them. Prioritizing social media image over authentic connection. Have difficulty acknowledging other people's perspectives. Need frequent praise or external validation. Johnna: Interpret neutral events as being all about them, prioritizing social media image over authentic connection, have difficulty acknowledging other people's perspectives, need frequent praise or external validation, view relationships primarily through the lens of how they affect them. So also Clint: view relationships primarily through the lens of how they affect them. So also they struggle to celebrate other people's successes without redirecting attention back to themselves. Mm-hmm. It i I don't know if we want to jump right into this, but ⁓ it sounds very much like narcissism. Yeah it does. Johnna: They struggle to celebrate other people's successes without redirecting attention back to themselves. Mm-hmm. But ⁓ it sounds very much like narcissism. Yeah, it does. A lot of the same same traits. Lots. And it stems from a kind of a lot of the same factors. Right. ⁓ you know, and and I don't know, do you want to go through that or do you want to just talk about the similarities and differences between maybe We can go anywhere you wanna go. Yeah. Okay. Clint: a lot of the same same traits. And it stems from kind of a lot of the same factors. Right. ⁓ you know, and and I don't know, do you want to go through that or do you want to just talk about the similarities and differences between main character syndrome and narcissism? Okay. Cause I think I think this is a good point to start highlighting the differences. Johnna: 'cause I think I think this is a good point to start highlighting the differences. Cause in my mind, ⁓ especially if I'm just kinda understanding this concept and hearing about it potentially even explained this way the first time on this podcast, it's like, well that's a narcissist. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. there there are some differences and I think one of the key differences that we already kinda touched on is Clint: Cause in my mind, ⁓ especially if I'm just kinda understanding this concept and hearing about it, potentially even explained this way the first time on this podcast, it's like, well, that's a narcissist. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. there there are some differences. And I think one of the key differences that we already kinda touched on is nar main character syndrome. Johnna: Nar main character syndrome typically is ⁓ much more localized. Mm-hmm. And narcissism is much more generalized. And what I mean by that is you can have you can exhibit main character syndrome Clint: typically is ⁓ much more localized and narcissism is much more generalized and what I mean by that is you can have you can exhibit main character syndrome in certain situations with specific topics or with specific people or you know specific whatever versus narcissism Johnna: in certain situations with specific topics or with specific people or, you know, specific whatever versus narcissism is just like all the time. Right. Always the center of attention. Main character syndrome can be, you know, some of those things you highlighted really stand out to me. Like being the center of attention with certain people or needing to have a story Clint: is just like all the time. I'm always the center of attention. Main character syndrome can be, you know, some of those things you highlighted really stand out to me. Like being the center of attention with certain people or needing to have a story just for certain things. You know, a narcissist it feels like is almost always gonna be a one upper in a story. Or redirecting Johnna: just for certain things. You know, a narcissist it feels like is almost always gonna be a one upper in a story. Or redirecting the conversation to be about them. Main character syndrome would be I Clint: the conversation be about that. Main character syndrome would be I I do that with certain topics. Other topics I don't. Other topics we can have a great conversation. I'm gonna listen and interact and be engaged with what you're saying and ask questions about what you you were doing or your experience and really be genuinely interested. But then a different topic comes up and Johnna: I do that with certain topics. Mm-hmm. Other topics I don't. Other topics we can have a great conversation. I'm gonna listen and interact and be engaged with what you're saying and ask questions about what you you were doing or your experience and really be genuinely interested. But then a different topic comes up. Clint: And then it's like, ⁓ no, I need to be talking about this. I don't care about your experience anymore because now I have experience as well. Versus a narcissist is always gonna try to have an experience. They they always, no matter, you know, we all know those types of people, no matter what you talk about. It could be like, you know, when I was windsurfing in Antarctica eating a burrito, they're like, ⁓ yeah, I did that too. But when I did it it was like, No, you didn't Johnna: and then it's like, ⁓ no, I need to be talking about this. I don't care about your experience anymore because now I have experience as well. Versus a narcissist is always gonna try to have an experience. They always no matter you know, we all know those types of people. No matter what you talk about, it could be like you know, when I was windsurfing in Antarctica, eating a burrito, they're like, ⁓ yeah, I did that too but when I did it it was like Yeah, and I have a degree in it. Yeah. You can just make shit up and somehow they've done it and they've done it better or they know somebody that did it better or whatever. Yeah. Main character syndrome is much more Clint: Yeah. Like you can just make shit up and somehow they've done it and they've done it better or they know somebody that did it better or whatever. Main character syndrome is much more specific to certain things. Johnna: specific to things. Yes, I agree. And specific on ⁓ you know, to social media. So the the like the likes and the follows, right? Getting obsessed with that, that's definitely a main character syndrome situation in terms of social media. Yeah. One of the ways that that we really see it manifest and Clint: One of the ways that that we really see it manifest and we've we've talked about it some on this podcast. We talk about it a lot just in life. And one of those things that once you see it you can't unsee it is the concept of people not being aware of their main character syndrome. A again, you know, if we're comparing it to narcissism Johnna: about it some on this podcast. We talk about it a lot just in life, and one of those things that once you see it you can't unsee it. Yeah. Is the concept of people not being aware of their main character syndrome. Right. Again, you know, if we're comparing it to narcissism, I I I tend to think narcissists Clint: I I I tend to think narcissists are usually aware. They wouldn't necessarily call themselves a narcissist, but they they know they're doing it. Really? Yes. See I disagree. Okay. I I tend to think narcissists are usually aware. They wouldn't necessarily call themselves a narcissist, but they they know they're doing it. Really? Yes. See I disagree. Johnna: I I tend to think narcissists ⁓ are usually aware they wouldn't necessarily call themselves a narcissist you think they know they're doing it. Really? Yeah. See I disagree. are usually aware they wouldn't necessarily call themselves a narcissist you think they know they're doing it. Really? Yeah. See I disagree. Okay. Because or it's ⁓ you're very high on the spectrum. Because I have seen behavior as of late that I am just like astonished at the I'm the main character here. Well we're talking that we're talking about two different things then. Clint: It's ⁓ you're very high on the spectrum. Because I have seen behavior as of late that I am just like astonished at the I'm the main character here. Well, we're t that's we're talking about two different things then. Okay. ⁓ main character syndrome, I think. ⁓ I guess let me l finish because yeah, finish what you were saying. Well Johnna: Okay. Main character syndrome, I think. I guess let me finish because finish what you were saying. Well, I just I don't see them as being socially aware. Like I know, you know, narcissism is a diagnosed blah blah blah blah blah. They really want to get clinical with that. But who how many narcissists are like, I am a narcissist, so I'm gonna go get diagnosed? Okay. Clint: is a diagnosed blah blah blah blah. But who how many narcissists are like, I am a narcissist, so I'm gonna go get diagnosed? Okay, that right. I think we're conflating two different things. I don't I don't think they would say I'm a narcissist, but I think they would they're aware that they are always in every conversation. They're they're aware of Johnna: Right, so not aware of their behavior. Okay. I don't think they would say I'm a narcissist, but I think they would they're aware that they are always in every conversation. They're they're aware of I need to jump in and and talk about my experience. They might not be doing it from a point of I'm a narcissist, so this is what I do, but they're aware that they do it. They're aware that they Clint: I need to jump in and and talk about my experience. They might not be doing it from a point of I'm a narcissist, so this is what I do, but they're aware that they do it. They're aware that they they have they want to be and it could be awareness in just in the fact of I want to be in every conversation. Right. Johnna: they have they want to be and it could be awareness in just in the fact of I want to be in every conversation. Right. Okay. So we're talking different awarenesses for sure. What because where I was going with the main character syndrome not being aware is like somebody who Clint: versus what because where I was going with the main character syndrome not being aware is like somebody who meanders when everybody's trying to walk at a certain speed and somebody just meanders through and holds up, you know, people trying to move through something, or, you know, they like you're at a grocery store. Johnna: meanders when everybody's trying to walk at a certain speed and somebody just meanders through and holds up you know people trying to move through something or you know they like you're at a grocery store and you're trying to grab something off the shelf and they're just standing there and pondering and you know so they're and take taking their time doing whatever they're gonna do not not being aware Clint: And you're trying to grab something off the shelf and they're just standing there and pondering and you know, so they're and take taking their time, doing whatever they're gonna do, not not being aware that other people are also maybe interested in getting a carton of milk or whatever. I don't think that person's a narcissist necessarily, but they are exhibiting main character syndrome ⁓ Johnna: that other people are also maybe interested in getting a cart in a mouth. Right. Or whatever. I don't think that person's a narcissist necessarily. Yeah. But they are exhibiting main character syndrome ⁓ symptoms. Yes. Clint: symptoms, let's say, because they have no awareness that other people are also the main characters in their lives and they have stuff to do as well. I think a a great example of one that is one that you talk about all the time and blame it on the boomers of people that drive fifty three miles an hour when it's sixty because they don't have anywhere else to go. Yeah. I don't think they're narcissist I mean they could be. Johnna: Because they have no awareness that other people are also the main characters in their lives and they have stuff to do as well. Yeah. I think a a great example of one that is one that you talk about all the time and blame it on the boomers, of people that drive fifty-three miles an hour when it's sixty because they don't have anywhere else to go. Yeah. I don't think they're narcissist they could be, but I don't think that's a narcissistic Clint: But I don't think that's a narcissistic ⁓ tendency or a narcissistic trait of doing that. I think that's a main character syndrome thing of well, this is what I'm doing and this is what's important to me. I'm not doing it to make me seem valuable to other people or to promote myself to other people. It's just I'm living in my life and I'm not aware of how it's impacting other people. Johnna: ⁓ tendency or a narcissistic trait of doing that, I think that's a main character syndrome thing of well, this is what I'm doing and this is what's important to me. I'm not doing it to make me seem valuable to other people or to promote myself to other people. It's just I'm living in my life and I'm not aware of how it's impacting other people. Which is what I want to talk about. I'm living my life and I'm not aware of how it's impacting people. That right there, I don't care if it's called main character, I don't care if it's called narcissism on some kind of spectrum. This is an issue that we have in terms of just not being aware that they we are sharing the planet with other people. That is the frustration. Clint: That right there, I don't care if it's called main character, I don't care if it's called narcissism on some kind of spectrum, this is an issue that we have in terms of just not being aware that they we are sharing the planet with other people. That is the frustration. Johnna: Constantly. I mean, at the end of the day. That's that's Clint: But so I think what's what's valuable in it is it's something it's something that is maybe not as inherent as narcissism. You know, like the the and maybe we're talking about extreme narcissism or or whatever that might be. Main character syndrome is something that's easily identifiable. Johnna: So I think what's what's valuable in it is it's something it's something that is maybe not as inherent as narcissism. Right. You know, like the the and maybe we're talking about extreme narcissism or whatever that Main character syndrome is something that's easily identifiable and easily correctable. Sure, because you ⁓ ha have the bandwidth to be self aware. Right? Yeah, if it's brought to your attention. Yeah. And you're gonna bring it to your attention 'cause it's never good to point out someone else's main characters. If you if you truly have, you know, are are deep on that narcissistic spectrum, it you're never Clint: and easily correctable. Sure, because you ⁓ ha have the bandwidth too. Right? Yeah, if it's brought to your attention. Yeah. And you're gonna bring it. No, but i if you if you truly have, you know, are are deep on that narcissistic spectrum, i you're never you don't have the capacity to have it be brought to your attention, potentially. Totally. Right? Without, you know, a whole bunch of inner work and all the things that we talked about on that other podcast. This is stuff the the the one level of the main character syndrome stuff is Johnna: you don't have the capacity to have it be brought to your attention. Right. Totally. Right. Without, you know, a whole bunch of inner work and all the things that we talked about on that other podcast. This is stuff the the the one level of the main character syndrome stuff is Clint: things because because they're in specific instances and not just a like a deep seated personality trait, then you can be much more aware of them right w when you do it and then realize, yeah, I need to pull over or go the speed limit. Sure. Okay, so this is where when it becomes Johnna: things because because they're in specific instances and not just a like a deep-seated sure personality trait, then you can be much more aware of them. Right. W when you do it and then realize, ⁓ yeah, I need to pull over or go to the speed limit. Sure. Okay, so this is where when it becomes damaging. Okay. ⁓ when it's Clint: it's causing problems in friendships or real any kind of relationship. Johnna: Causing problems in friendships or real any kind of relationship, really. ⁓ chronic attention seeking makes it difficult to empathize with other people, leads to entitlement or manipulation, results in viewing people merely as tools, obstacles, side characters, and Clint: leads to entitlement or manipulation, results in viewing people merely as tools, obstacles, side characters, and prevents accountability by always casting oneself as the hero or the victim. So that's when your Johnna: Prevents accountability by always casting oneself as the hero or the victim. So that's when you're ⁓ moving into those more narcissistic traits, right? So be aware. This is why we're we're saying this. So there's positive aspects as too. Let let's talk about the positive a aspects. All right. ⁓ Clint: moving into those more narcissistic traits. Right. So be aware. This is why we're we're saying this. So there's positive aspects this too. All right. ⁓ excuse me, sorry. ⁓ Self confidence. Yeah. I mean that's that's a huge one. You are the main character on your show. Yes. Johnna: Self confidence. Yeah. I mean that's that's a huge 'cause you are the main character in your show. And so you want to have self confidence and self deprecation is not okay. Right? So s go ahead. Taking responsibility. What weird elevated life. Clint: Mm. Right? So go ahead. Taking responsibility for your own life. Elevated life. Talk about that all the time. I know you love this next one. Yeah. Setting boundaries. Yeah. So critical. It is. I'm so tired of the motherfuckers, honestly. I've become like boundary, boundary, boundary. So anyway, keep it. Johnna: Yeah. Setting boundaries. Yeah. So critical. It is. I'm so tired of the motherfuckers. Honestly. I've become like boundary, boundary, boundary. So anyway, keep going. Pursuing meaningful goals. Mm-hmm. And that's that really gets to self confidence slash valuing yourself. Yeah. ⁓ practicing self care. Yeah. And becoming more intentional rather than passively living for others' expectations. Yes. Clint: Pursuing meaningful goals and that's that really gets to self confidence slash valuing yourself, ⁓ practicing self care and becoming more intentional rather than passively living for others' expectations. Johnna: So the key difference is that healthy confidence doesn't diminish other people's importance, right? Like that is critical. That right there is a massive takeaway. Healthy confidence does not diminish other people's importance. That is how you transition from maybe you're struggling with main character, narcissism. Clint: Yes. So the difference is that healthy confidence doesn't other people's importance, right? Like that is critical. That right there is a massive takeaway. Healthy confidence does not diminish other people's importance. That is how you transition from maybe you're struggling with main character or narcissism. If you're diminishing other people's importance, then y time to refocus, right? That is And I wanna talk about that a little bit more. and maybe that Johnna: If you're diminishing other people's importance, then time to refocus, right? That is and I want to talk about that a little bit more. ⁓ and maybe that we can just go down this list and that's gonna be a little bit. But I have I have some other thoughts too. So ⁓ some some ⁓ ways to avoid unhealthy main character syndrome, practice empathy and genuinely Clint: We can just go down this list and that's gonna be a little bit. But I have I have some other thoughts too. So ⁓ some some ⁓ ways to avoid unhealthy main character syndrome. Practice empathy and genuinely listening to others. Johnna: ⁓ Genuinely listening to others, not to respond, but to listen to their perspective. I just wanted to add that. Asking yourself how might this situation Clint: asking yourself how might this situation look from another person's perspective Johnna: Yeah, 'cause we all have different perspectives. Celebrating other people's achievement without comparison. Or diminishing them to make yourself feel better. I'm just adding. Keep reading. Accepting responsibility when you're wrong instead of rewriting the narrative. Yes. Limiting the Clint: Celebrating other people's achievement without comparison. I I yeah, I know. Accepting responsibility when you're wrong instead of rewriting the narrative. Yes. Limiting the urge to perform your life for social media. Remembering that every person is the main character in their own story. Johnna: Yeah. Clint: So I think obviously if i hopefully I shouldn't say obviously, if if you're listening to this, you're at some level trying to work on yourself. Yeah. Right. And we like to give a lot of tools. Johnna: I think If it's if if you're listening to this, you're at some level trying to work on yourself. Yeah. Clint: ⁓ this one because of of what we were talking about earlier, the main character syndrome can be a difficult one to see. You know, if you're not truly a nar ⁓ like like we said, we're all on the narcissist spectrum. But, you know, ⁓ a clinically diagnosed narcissist, let's say that, ⁓ it it can Johnna: This one because of what we're main character syndrome can be a difficult one to see. You know, if you're not truly a nar ⁓ like like we said, we're all on the narcissist spectrum. But, you know, a a clinically diagnosed narcissist, let's say that, mm-hmm, it it can it can be something that's hard to see in yourself. If you if you really don't realize you're doing it and you're not doing it Clint: It can be something that's hard to see in yourself. If you if you really don't realize you're doing it and you're not doing it intentionally. Yeah. With malice. Mm-hmm. Then it can really be something that is hard to see. So I think a tool, if if you, you know, going through those those last six things that ⁓ that we just talked about Johnna: intentionally. Yeah. With malice. Sure. Then it can really be something that is hard to see. So I think a tool, if if you, you know, going through those those last six things that ⁓ that we just talked about, and this is gonna be a little tricky, so bear with me for a second while I while I walk through this, but in order to Clint: And this is gonna be a little tricky, so bear with me for a second while I while I walk through this. But in order to start recognizing it, if you're struggling, if you're like, ⁓ I don't do any of that shit, I you know, that's probably not accurate. Yeah. Because we all have main character syndrome at some level. ⁓ but if it's really hard for you to see, then Johnna: start recognizing it. If you're struggling, if you're like, ⁓ I don't do any of that shit I you know, that's probably not accurate. Yeah. Because we all have main character syndrome at some level. But if it's really hard for you to see, then you can see these things in other people. Right? Because you probably do. ⁓ for sure. If you even if you're saying I don't have any of this, but so and so I they have main character syndrome. Okay. Recognize it when it happens. Yep. Not to say something to them, not for correction, but for Clint: You can see these things in other people, right? Cause you probably do. If you even if you're saying I don't have any of this, but so and so I they definitely have main character syndrome. Okay. Recognize it when it happens. Not to say something to them, not for correction, but for internalization. Like, okay, I see that now. I'm recognizing this is main character syndrome. I'm just gonna file that away. Johnna: internalization like ⁓ okay I see that now I'm recognizing this is main character syndrome I'm just gonna file that away and then the next time a similar scenario comes up am I doing that I remember what this person you know when I was all excited about whatever achievement or whatever vacation I just went on or whatever and they derailed the conversation Clint: And then the next time a similar scenario comes up, am I doing that? I remember what this person, you know, when I was all excited about whatever achievement or whatever vacation I just went on or whatever, and they derailed the conversation. Now, when I'm when somebody else is telling me about their vacation, was my reaction to talk about my vacation or to Johnna: Now when I when somebody else is telling me about their vacation, was my reaction to talk about my vacation or to talk about, ⁓ you've been here, you should try going to this place 'cause it's so much better or whatever. If you were doing that and not recognizing it, then then you do Clint: Talk about, ⁓ you've been here, you should try going to this place 'cause it's so much better or whatever. If you were doing that and not recognizing it, then then you do you have main you're you're exhibiting some of the main care main character syndrome things. So it's a it's a just a good way if you're struggling to see it in yourself and finding opportunities to grow out of doing this when it's the unhealthy version, recogn listening for it. Johnna: main you're you're exhibiting some of the main character main characters syndrome things. Yeah. So it's a it's a just a good way if you're struggling to see it in yourself and finding opportunities to grow out of doing this when it's the unhealthy version. Yeah. Reck listening for it and recognizing it and then internalizing that and seeing if I'm do if you're doing that, then you know that's a good way to to recognize it. Clint: and recognizing it and then internalizing that and seeing if I'm d if you're doing that, then you know, that's a good way to to recognize it. And Johnna: And next level after that not only is the acknowledgement, but I I have done this. And I'm not trying to say 'cause I notice where I have main character syndrome and I try to apologize. So you gave the example of holding up people in the grocery area where you're just zoning out or whatever, and then people are trying to scoot around you and you Clint: I noticed where I have main character syndrome and I try to apologize. So you gave the example of holding up people in the grocery area where you're just zoning out or whatever and then people are trying to scoot around you and you, you know, are not self aware so you just let ⁓ scoot around you. Instead I've started to say, I'm so sorry. I've I'm just lost in my thoughts or so you become aware of those things. Johnna: you know, are not self aware, so you just let ⁓ scoot around you. Instead I've started to say, I'm so sorry. I I'm just lost in my thoughts. Or so you become aware of those things, whatever that is in your day. Or when I have a issue at times with cutting people off, right? When we're speaking, 'cause I get excited about talking, honestly. It's not because I'm trying to derail them consciously. Clint: Whatever that is in your day or when I have a issue at times with cutting people off, right? When we're speaking, 'cause I get excited about talking, honestly. It's not because I'm trying to derail them consciously, it's because I get excited. And so over the last few months as I've become uber aware of this, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I cut you off. Keep going. I'm trying to work on this. Johnna: It's because I get excited. And so over the last few months as I've become uber aware of this, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I cut you off. Keep going. I'm trying to work on this because I'm human, right? It's not that I'm on some advanced level of narcissism. It's because I'm human and I'm working out my humanity. I think that's probably generally speaking Clint: Because I'm human, right? It's not that I'm on some advanced level of narcissism. It's because I'm human and I'm working out my humanity. I think that's probably, generally speaking, one of the most common forms of of main character syndrome is cutting people off or interjecting yourself because of exactly what you're talking about. Not because of Johnna: Most. of main character syndrome is cutting people off or interjecting yourself because of exactly what you're talking about. Not because of, you know, I think my stuff is more valuable. Clint: you know, I think my stuff is more valuable. Right. It's genuine excitement. Yeah. To like I have a thought and it it it matches up with your what you're saying. It's not like I'm trying to take it in a whole different direction. I'm just so excited to to talk about it because, you know, but it's still it's still the same thing. It is. And I'm not trying to justify it at all. The other part of that is the brain. Johnna: Right. It's genuine excitement. Yeah. That's my issue. It matches up with your what you're saying. It's not like I'm trying to take it in a whole different direction. Right. I'm just so excited to to talk about it because, you know, but it's still it's still the same thing. It is. And I'm not trying to justify it at all. The other part of that is the ADHD brain, right? Like I'm gonna lose that thought if I don't hurry up and say blah blah blah. Clint: Right? Like I'm gonna lose that thought if I don't hurry up and say blah blah blah. Which is why sometimes you'll see me writing stuff down when we're Johnna: Which is why sometimes you'll see me writing stuff down when we're podcasting now. Because it's like, don't interrupt Clint, write down a some word that's gonna trigger the memory so that you can say it. So these are just things that that I'm doing. And we're, you know, we're trying to work it out. But becoming more aware that there you're sharing the planet with more humans than just yourself. Clint: Don't interrupt Clint. Write down a some word that's gonna trigger the memory so that you can say it. So these are just things that that I'm doing. And we're you know, we're trying to work it out. But becoming more aware that there you're sharing the planet with more humans than just yourself. and be respectful in that is really what I'm trying to say with main character. Johnna: and be respectful in that is really what I'm trying to say with main character syndrome because it's just everywhere. And I've also noticed it everywhere in myself and trying to work through those things. Sometimes I just get sick of constantly thinking that I need to be fixed. That's a whole nother podcast. Like when does the fixing end? Never. I just Clint: it's just everywhere and I've also noticed everywhere in myself and trying to work through those things. Sometimes I just get sick of constantly thinking that I need to be fixed. That's a whole nother podcast. Like when does the fixing end? Never I just wanna be cognizant of it. Yeah. Because exc excuse me, because this is something Johnna: Yeah. Because excuse me, because this is something main character syndrome is something that really impacts other people. Yeah. And and so if I'm impacting Clint: Main character syndrome is something that really impacts other people. Yeah. And and so if I'm impacting another person in a negative way through something I'm not even intending to do, it it's it's not I don't view it as me being broken or needing fixing or anything. It's just Johnna: negative way through something I'm not even intending to do. Yeah. It it's it's not I don't view it as me being broken or needing fixing or anything. It's just if I'm trying to do whatever I can do to make society in general a better place, a lot of that, you know, we talk about going internally. We don't all the time. This is is a Clint: If I'm trying to do whatever I can do to make society in general a better place, a lot of that, you know, we talk about going internally going all the time. This is is a very valuable, tangible, everyday thing that you can do that really has a positive impact. Johnna: very valuable, tangible, everyday thing that you can do that really has a positive impact. Yeah, it's a ripple effect for sure. I mean that's just That's just the facts. So I hope that this was helpful. I hope that we articulated well what we were trying to articulate. be aware of other people and that not everyone has the same perspective of as you. They haven't had the same experiences of that you have had. be mindful, right? Be present and Clint: That's well what we were trying to articulate. ⁓ They haven't had the same experiences of that you have had. be mindful, right? Be present and check yourself. And I'm saying this to Jana, like check yourself. Be present in the moment so that you have the capacity to check yourself. Johnna: Check yourself and I'm saying this to Jana like check yourself, be present in the moment so that you have the capacity to check yourself. Clint: I just wanna end with one more thing. We've already said it a couple of times, but I think it's worth reiterating that the main character energy is a positive thing. The key difference is that that healthy confidence doesn't diminish other people's importance. Yeah. Johnna: A positive thing. Yes. The key difference is that that healthy confidence doesn't other people's importance. Yeah. I know. I love that line so much. I feel like I want to write it in the office that we're currently packing up, and there's nowhere to write it. Maybe I'll just Sharpie it on the wall. But it's so true. ⁓ we are all brilliant and we are all special. Clint: Maybe I'll just sharpie it on at all. But it's so true. we Johnna: Honestly. So I know that's like so cheesy. I don't know if I'd say we're all brilliant, but Yeah, we are in different ways, right? You just diminished. No diminishing. No, I think brilliance has a very specific meaning. And you know, I think it's important for words to have meaning. That's a whole different podcast. Yes, it is. That's the logical mind versus the like colorful mind. Because it diminishes true brilliance. Clint: So I know that's like so cheesy. I don't know if I'd say we're all brilliant, but Yeah, we are in different ways, right? You just diminish. No diminishing. No, I think brilliance has a very specific meaning and you know, I think it's important for words to have meanings. That's a whole different podcast. Yes, it is. I will say the mind versus the like colorful mind. Because it diminishes true brilliance. Johnna: Well, well, okay, maybe we won't aren't all brilliant, but we're definitely all special. Yeah, it's okay. That was just a main character syndrome coming out right there. All right. I hope this was helpful. Have a lovely day. Clint: I didn't mean to shit on your point, I'm sorry. Okay, that was just a main character syndrome coming out right there. All right. I hope this is helpful. Have a lovely day. And we'll talk to you soon.