Latest / The Daily Sarcast / August 21st, 2026: Meghan Markle, A Squid Spill In Rhode Island And Ray's Sisters Wedding

Transcript

August 21st, 2026: Meghan Markle, A Squid Spill In Rhode Island And Ray's Sisters Wedding · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:01
  Today's episode is brought to you by the people that shop
• 0:05
  at Meghan Markle's online store, As Ever. Yes,
• 0:09
  that's the name, As Ever. What a stupid name. Guys,
• 0:12
  who among us has not felt the need to pay $42 for
• 0:16
  3 jars of jam? Blackberry jam,
• 0:19
  blackberry jam, excuse me, in a collectible gift box.
• 0:26
  Who doesn't pay $30 for a 9-ounce
• 0:30
  jar of lavender honey? And, oh, look, they have
• 0:34
  the little flowers that you can sprinkle on your morning toast, the edible
• 0:38
  flower petals that you can sprinkle on your morning toast for $15.
• 0:42
  Who among us doesn't need that? Listen, if you
• 0:47
  want your house to smell like ginger and cardamom,
• 0:52
  don't buy one of Meghan Markle's stupid candles, just make tea.
• 0:56
  That's, what is this website? If you're compelled
• 1:00
  to shop, again, my Venmo is @rayrayray.
• 1:04
  Venmo me instead and I will run to Trader Joe's and
• 1:07
  buy you some jelly. This website is ridiculous.
• 1:11
  Okay, hard pivot.
• 1:14
  Squid has a distinctive odor to it. It can be very foul smelling,
• 1:18
  especially if it lands on the road and stays there for a while. That's a
• 1:21
  quote from Richard Stevens, a resident of Narragansett, Rhode Island. Rhode Island,
• 1:25
  of course, the best state. In the history of the United States
• 1:28
  in America. Insert theme song here. This is the Daily
• 1:32
  Sarcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh. I'm Ray Ferro, and today
• 1:36
  is August 21st, 2026. That's right, folks.
• 1:40
  It's the 115th anniversary of the Mona Lisa getting stolen
• 1:44
  from the Louvre. That's for those of
• 1:48
  you who celebrate. And, you know, those thieves last
• 1:52
  year obviously still breaking into the Louvre. And they stole the
• 1:56
  crown jewels of France in 7 minutes, which is very impressive.
• 2:00
  But also, the Louvre, you guys,
• 2:04
  why does the Louvre have less strict security than Dwayne Reed?
• 2:07
  I can't even steal a stick of deodorant in 7 minutes. These guys were able
• 2:11
  to steal the crown jewels of France. That's kind of impressive.
• 2:15
  Anyway, I'm Ray Ferro, esteemed art historian.
• 2:18
  And in real news, America, our long national nightmare
• 2:23
  is finally over. That's right, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are
• 2:26
  moving back to the UK, 6 years after ditching royal life for
• 2:30
  California. Anybody who's ever moved to Hollywood knows it's
• 2:35
  not necessarily a meritocracy. It's not always like the most
• 2:39
  talented people that make it big in that town. But you do
• 2:43
  have to have some talent to make it in Hollywood.
• 2:46
  You can't just have no talent like the dear Prince
• 2:49
  Harry and Princess Meghan. They're moving back to the UK And on behalf
• 2:54
  of everyone in this country, good riddance. You guys suck.
• 3:00
  The Brooklyn Cyclones, the minor league baseball team out of Brooklyn,
• 3:03
  admit they dropped the ball on workers' tips.
• 3:09
  The Cyclones use those same Square readers you see at a lot of coffee shops
• 3:13
  and different bodegas. And of course, what a surprise.
• 3:17
  Greedy ownership wasn't paying their employees properly, even tips that
• 3:21
  they earned. A fun thing to do, and by fun I mean something
• 3:25
  that actually is kind of important to do, is actually have a frank conversation with
• 3:29
  your local coffee shops and the employees there and figuring out like if this money
• 3:33
  actually goes to them when you do tip.
• 3:36
  Because I have talked to some like small coffee
• 3:40
  shops who are like, yeah, at the end of the day they pool all the
• 3:42
  money they make, and that's beautiful, happy to support that.
• 3:46
  Some other coffee shops apparently do not.
• 3:50
  And I think if these coffee shops realize
• 3:54
  that their customers were taking an active interest in how
• 3:58
  the baristas that serve them their coffee every day were getting paid, maybe you
• 4:02
  might see some actionable change, or maybe you might— making sure these people
• 4:05
  are doing the right thing by their employee. And that also means as a consumer,
• 4:08
  we can support the businesses that, uh, we— that are best
• 4:13
  in line with our values and how we would like to be treated. All right,
• 4:17
  that's the end of Socialism Corner. Back to the funny stuff.
• 4:21
  A truckload of squids spilled into the street in Rhode Island,
• 4:24
  creating a smelly mess in the summer heat. The smelly mess
• 4:29
  made Rhode Island briefly smell almost as bad as New Jersey. Come on,
• 4:32
  jokes. All right, life update.
• 4:36
  My sister got married, uh, 2 weeks ago.
• 4:40
  Not as exciting as me getting the end table, But she did, she had
• 4:43
  kind of the deck stacked against her when it came to this one.
• 4:46
  For those of you who don't know, I got married a year and a half
• 4:49
  ago. So she had to follow a gay wedding,
• 4:53
  which, you know, talk about following the Beatles. That's tough. Gay wedding, which is just
• 4:58
  like a straight wedding, except you guys all know it's actually fun. We,
• 5:01
  we're still very proud of my sister because she
• 5:05
  married someone who is, that's right, 6'4.
• 5:11
  This week's MVP is obviously King Charles for finally getting
• 5:15
  Harry and Meghan the hell out of our country. Our long national nightmare
• 5:18
  is over. Thank God and good riddance. And again,
• 5:22
  if you are going to, as ever, to buy jam
• 5:27
  or stupid candles, please just Venmo me instead.
• 5:30
  I will make sure that money is wasted in more fun ways.
• 5:35
  Cooking tip of the day. Okay, this isn't a cooking tip as much as it
• 5:38
  is a plea for help. I am 41 years old and
• 5:42
  I still do not understand what is the best way to peel garlic.
• 5:46
  Peeling garlic is the most frustrating process
• 5:49
  in the world. It is. I get more frustrated peeling garlic
• 5:53
  than I do listening to Donald Trump talk. Please let me know
• 5:57
  if you have any hacks or tricks because I'm 41 years
• 6:01
  old and Italian. I should be better at it at this point, but I'm not.
• 6:05
  And that's why we do these podcasts, to learn and grow. And don't
• 6:08
  forget, Venmo @rayrayray, uh, and not give your
• 6:12
  money to Meghan Markle. Uh, but if you have any other feedbacks, comments,
• 6:16
  questions, or you are a nice Jewish boy looking for a
• 6:19
  date, please email lindsay@thedailysarcasm.com. Thank you so much for
• 6:24
  listening, everybody. Have a great weekend. And thank you so much, Lindsay,
• 6:27
  for letting us do this summer residency. This has been so much fun to
• 6:30
  learn how to record podcasts and talk about squid
• 6:34
  falling into the street, and that still being less disgusting than Prince Harry
• 6:38
  and Meghan Markle.