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Happy or Holy? God’s Design for Marriage Includes Both · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for August 6, 2026 Happy or Holy? God's design for marriage includes both.
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  Today I'm going to chew on one of my pet peeves, the idea that God didn't give
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  us marriage to make us happy, but rather to make us holy.
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  I've already laid the groundwork on this. Yesterday I shared a verse about a
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  man being free to spend his first year of marriage making his wife happy.
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  And then there's Proverbs 18.22, which in the ESV tells us that he who finds
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  a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
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  And what about Adam? He had no imperfection when God gave him Eve.
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  A good marriage is one of the best things, possibly the best thing,
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  we can experience this side of heaven.
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  My wife often makes me happy. She blesses me richly. My marriage gives me meaning and direction.
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  My wife is the greatest gift God has given me, second only to salvation.
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  To be fair, God uses everything and everyone in our lives to make us more holy.
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  And given how close and intimate the marriage relationship is,
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  we should expect Him to use it more than anything else to grow us up.
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  I just don't like the idea that my wife was given to me to whip me into shape,
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  nor do I want it to be my job to do that for her.
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  That said, God very much uses my wife to challenge me and help me grow.
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  I'm a better man for having her in my life. I encourage her to be this in my
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  life. I want her to tell me when she sees something that concerns her.
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  I'm not asking her to be my mother, but I do want her to be my fellow disciple,
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  learning how to live and follow Jesus better and better.
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  I don't expect her to fix me. That's my job. I do want her input on what she
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  thinks might need to be fixed.
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  Finding the right balance on this can be tricky, and it's a moving target,
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  as it will change throughout your marriage.
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  I would suggest discussing it from time to time. Do you want more input?
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  Do you feel there is too much? What would be more helpful?
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  This is Paul, and doing marriage well should accomplish both.