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Staying Out of the Pit: How to Handle Your Spouse's Bad Mood · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for August 17, 2026 Staying Out of the Pit How to Handle
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  Your Spouse's Bad Mood A married couple is not two distinct individuals. There is some blending.
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  The Bible says the two become one.
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  What either does has an effect on the other, and what either feels has an effect on the other.
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  This week, I want to look at some of the ways this plays out in our marriage
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  and what we can do to make things better.
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  Mood is a big one. A good mood can certainly be contagious.
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  Have you ever been feeling a bit down, but your spouse was feeling happy and
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  full of life, and that rubbed off on you a bit?
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  Enthusiasm and optimism can also rub off on us. Those are good transfers.
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  But it happens the other way, too.
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  A bad mood could drag us down. You were feeling good, and then your spouse came
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  in doom and gloom, and it ran over your good mood.
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  Grumpiness can also be contagious. Likewise for worry, fear, and even panic.
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  It's said misery loves company, and all too often misery produces company by
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  spilling over onto others.
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  One of the best things you can do for yourself, your spouse,
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  and your marriage is to fight letting your spouse's bad mood become your bad mood.
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  This doesn't mean you ignore them. You care about them, and when they're down, you care about that.
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  You want to hear about it and offer whatever help possible, but do this while
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  fighting the tendency to go where they are.
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  Going there won't help them. If your spouse is in a pit, jumping in to comfort
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  them would be a bad plan, because then you would both be in the pit.
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  The better choice is to remain at the top and help them out of the pit.
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  If they can't do that yet, then you'll wait until they can, being as encouraging as you can.
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  If you feel guilty being okay when your spouse is not, that is something you need to work on.
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  Concern is right and normal, but guilt is neither right nor helpful.
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  This is Paul, and staying out of the pit is doing marriage well.