Latest / Ascension Alchemists™ — God Led Sacred Marriage For Purpose & Impact. A Couple's Embodied Walk with Presence of God ALMighty / E116 Michael: The Six Words that every Couple Needs to Know.

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E116 Michael: The Six Words that every Couple Needs to Know. · Ascension Alchemists™ — God Led Sacred Marriage For Purpose & Impact. A Couple's Embodied Walk with Presence of God ALMighty

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ascension Alchemist Podcast.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: This is your host, Michael Abramson.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: In today's episode is my solo episode that I'd like to share something extremely important to each and every one of you.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: So thank you all for joining today as this podcast is really focused on our true essence, our raw experiences from our God Almighty presence.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: And today is going to be a very important episode.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: So get ready.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Because what if there are six simple words that every couple should know?
0:48
SPEAKER_00: And that asking one question could change everything in your relationship.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready?
0:58
SPEAKER_00: Because here they are.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: Are you green, yellow, or red?
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Now, stay with me.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: You may be wondering what I'm thinking about.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Because today I'm going to share you a simple but powerful tool that can literally save your relationship by recognizing the emotional state you're in, communicating your feelings maturely, and taking responsibility for how you respond to the people you love.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: For I am deeply passionate in sharing everything that happens, and not only in my personal relationship with myself, but my relationship with honey, because we keep learning, we keep evolving, and we keep asking ourselves, why didn't anyone ask us this when we first started learning what conscious relationships are, what sacred marriages are, and people come together with a powerful mission?
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Because what if the key to preventing conflict isn't learning what to say when you're upset, but learning how to communicate before you get upset?
2:29
SPEAKER_00: And I know many are listening deeply because if you're in a relationship, we get upset left and right.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: For if anyone really knows what conscious relationships are about, it's growing, it's learning, it's evolving, and many times it's bringing up many of our mother and father ones that haven't been fully healed.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: So today's a very important episode for you to really take time to listen.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Take time to really dive in because this exercise is an area that we have created after 10 years of going through some of the greatest conflicts, biggest fights and challenges, and of course, in our tenure, we finally have come up with a beautiful, simple, powerful practice that each of you can apply in any relationship.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: But I'd like to begin somewhere.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: So if each of you could listen deeply from your heart, how many arguments, misunderstanding, moments of disconnection in our relationships could have been prevented if we had simply communicated what we were feeling before our emotions escalated?
4:01
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: How many times have you felt frustrated, disappointed, misunderstood by your partner, or even your own emotions where you felt all of these feelings, but somehow they got shared at the wrong timing, at the wrong place, and all of a sudden it created a volcano, a disruption that ended up being, if not days, weeks, or moments of just trying to figure out how to fully express our emotions and most importantly, feel understood, feel safe, feel secure without being blamed, shamed, or pointed at in a way that was from complete judgment, whether it was ourselves or our partners.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Because what if the greatest opportunity to transform conflict isn't learning what to say when we're already angry, but learning to recognize and communicate what we're feeling before we're angry or upset.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: What if we become more conscious in our emotional state?
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Because if there's one thing I have learned in a relationship, the number one conflict is around communication.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: And most of us, when we grew up, were never taught about emotional communication, emotional mastery, or even emotional regulation.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Many times we had parents or fathers that would scream and yell.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Other times we may have had mothers that may have not spoken that avoided conflict.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: But really, when you think about it, growing up, we didn't have a lot of role models to express healthy emotional communication.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: And that's why we've created this beautiful system.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: Are you green, yellow, or red?
6:33
SPEAKER_00: Stay with me.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Because those could be the most important words you could ask to really save a night, a day, a vacation, an intimate moment, just to provide clarity, just to provide awareness.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's been a journey in true authentic transparency of recognizing these emotions, which many of you know are just energy in motion and are passing by, that connect to our thoughts, that connect to our feelings, and somehow we've identified them as our state of who we are, when they couldn't be furthest from the fact that these are like passing clouds, bubbles through the sea, or huge tsunamis or typhoons moving through us.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: They're not who we are, they're just a passing state of energy.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Yet somehow we turn it into a royal rumble.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: And do we tumble when it goes through the experience with our partners, let alone us men that were still learning just to express our emotions?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Because us men were never taught about expressing emotions.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: If anything, we were taught to avoid them so that we weren't so quote feminine, or many chose to want to people please and avoid conflict, so we bury them.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: But what happens if now we start to acknowledge them?
8:17
SPEAKER_00: We start to look deeper into bringing what I say a great process, a powerful tool, and what I call the emotional traffic light.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: Green, yellow, red.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Those three colors are the areas that we get to now use a tool.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, these six words may be something that could save your relationship when it's on the brink.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: Are you green, yellow, or red?
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Because I'll tell you, with honey, there has been one pattern that we have been struggling over and over.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And many of you in relationships may feel this too.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: When all of a sudden there becomes a conflict in your past, too late, you've crossed over the line, and then it just becomes word for word, argument for argument, conflict over conflict and patterns of blaming, shaming, you're wrong.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Why did you say that?
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Did you know what you were experiencing?
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how I feel when you say that?
9:37
SPEAKER_00: And we're just in a trigger tuggle fight.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: But what happens if today we can start to shift that by just bringing a sense of awareness?
9:50
SPEAKER_00: Because, like anything, isn't it important to prevent the areas that just mean so much importance?
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Our partners, our loved ones, they truly deserve the best.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: And if anything, from today, you truly deserve the best because in emotional regulation, it's time to recognize what's happening within us.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: And how great to have this emotional traffic light system of green, yellow, and red.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: Cause you know when we see green, it's flowing, we're going, it's in pure movement, we're in peace.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Everything is just in the greatest example of flow.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: It's green light, baby.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: We're on a roll, and so everything is in a great level.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: But uh oh, when the light turns yellow, that may be caution.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we may want to slow it down just a little, or perhaps we want to gain an extra level of awareness because if we've moved from green, maybe to lime green, turning to yellow, it's not mellow.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: We're starting to raise that fuse where the yellow's creating caution slowdown because you know what's next behind yellow, red, boiling, angry explosion, boom, all of a sudden, conflict.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
11:35
SPEAKER_00: Why are you saying that?
11:37
SPEAKER_00: How in the world could you ever say something like that?
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Did you eat?
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Are you sustained?
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Have you slept tonight?
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Why are you projecting when you haven't slept?
11:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, you did it again.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe you're saying the same thing that your father's always said.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: Can't you remember what your father said?
11:53
SPEAKER_00: You're acting exactly like him.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh, your mother, she acts like the do you remember these conversations?
11:59
SPEAKER_00: Somehow they keep running around like a Ferris wheel.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: And they keep coming and coming until finally we can bring a state of emotional awareness.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's where I really want to start today because transformation starts with awareness.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: It starts with what happens when we start to feel, sense, see, and really understand what's happening before us.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: So, what is emotional awareness?
12:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was speaking to a client the other day, and I was sharing how important it is to recognize what's happening.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times in our body, it gives automatic signs if something starts to build.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed your shoulders start to tense up?
12:50
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever seen the puffy rooster chest start to come out?
12:53
SPEAKER_00: Like all of a sudden, you're starting to feel like, uh, my chest is coming out, my neck and shoulders are getting tight.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm starting to feel contraction and uh-oh, is my heart rate starting to move up?
13:05
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm starting to move up the emotional scale from green, flowing, relaxed, maybe into caution, hint, hint, maybe into contraction, hint, maybe even to heart rate, which is starting to boil my emotions from green to yellow, and to of course explosion red.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: So I find it so important that we acknowledge our emotions because do they really have to dictate our behavior?
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: Do our emotions really have to dictate us?
13:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, as children, of course they do.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Watch children run around when they're emotionally upset.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: But you know what I love about children?
13:53
SPEAKER_00: As soon as you give them a hug, as you as soon as you tell them it's safe, they start to calm down.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: Not us adults.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: We take it seriously, we can barely forgive, and if we do, we don't forget, and somehow we bury it over and over.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: That is why it's important to start looking at this emotional regulation and mastery.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: Next, conscious communication from emotional awareness isn't our responsibility to communicate to others and how we feel.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: Which for men, we have a lot of work ahead of us because women know how to communicate.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, unless you were raised by a lot of women, us men are still learning to communicate because we press our feelings down, we escape those moments of sensitivity, and that if anything, we're greater thinking than communicating our thoughts.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we just put our foot in our mouths and say the wrong thing at the wrong moment before we know it, we ask ourselves, did I say that out loud again?
15:01
SPEAKER_00: And then we're in the doghouse.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: And then that's used against us for the rest of our life because on the other side, there can be a lack of forgiveness, not letting things go.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that from a feminine and masculine, I'm saying it from a relational standpoint of how we communicate is so important, especially from a conscious angle, in a way that we are open.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, we want to protect our relationships, we want to prevent these conflicts, and we really want to start taking emotional responsibility.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: And that's a big one for many of us because it's really the ability to respond to our emotions.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: And I would take one for the team.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: My ability of responding has been actually more reactionary than responsible.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Growing up, I had a father that would scream, that would yell, that would be like the big bad wolf when he got upset and blew the house down.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: That was my learning experience.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: And of course, I carried that into triggers, I carried that in the relationships, and I recognized that may not be the healthiest way because who wants to be blown down by fire?
16:14
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's our responsibility to communicate consciously and our awareness of our emotions.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: And it takes a big step.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: It takes time to start to look at the patterns, especially for those that may be not sustained.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: In a time where our central nervous system is so dysregulated, when do our emotions communicate at its most vulnerable?
16:45
SPEAKER_00: When we're tired, exhausted, when we're hungry, we haven't eaten, or at emotional times where our hormones are off.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how your emotions communicate?
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It's like the sky is falling, chicken littles running around because everything is much greater and worse than what it really is.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's most moments where we're communicating to a level that we're just letting it all out because sometimes those emotions have been built up that we're finally releasing it.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: But our poor partners, they're on the other end being torched.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's so important to recognize this emotional responsibility.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: So, Honey and I have finally come down to this beautiful system after many years, many arguments, many times where we just get in the same pattern because all of a sudden everything is good, everything is great, but then something shifts or changes.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: And we know that.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: It may be a phone call, it may be a sudden email, it may be just a trigger, a reaction that just comes from out of nowhere, and before we know it, we've shifted from absolute peace to frustration, and that is why we have brought the emotional traffic light and these six simple, powerful words are you green, yellow, or red.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: And so why do I say that?
18:24
SPEAKER_00: Because the simplest and easiest thing to do for your partner is give them your transparency.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: And that transparency, you may not have all the answers at that moment.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: You may not understand why the emotions are coming over you.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: You may not even recognize that you're actually feeling frustrated.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: It may just be an underlying tone.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: But you do recognize three colors, and green is pretty peaceful.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: It's easy, it's in the flow.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: When it's green, we're moving and we're grooving and it's peace.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: So if something happens and you're around your partner and she's starting to look at you, and you're recognizing a conflict is stirring, before you even go, what happens if you just give the opportunity to state what color you're at so that your partner has time to prepare?
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Your partner acknowledges you because, like most partners, they love you.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: They want to support you.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: And this is teamwork.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: This isn't just like I'm doing this by myself, because it takes two people to communicate.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: It takes responsibility in a relationship, especially in a conscious relationship where we have to go through the biggest tests, especially for those that may be with people, that communication isn't their strong suit.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: So we need all of the skill sets.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: And if we can think of three colors green, yellow, bringing caution, and red, look out.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: There may be something that's coming to us.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: And so it's so important, it's so very important that you understand right now that we have to communicate our ability and our emotions.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Because this emotional awareness is something that we literally have to bring into our attention each and every moment, whether we're sleeping and we just wake up, whether we're moving into a state that allows us to understand how important it is to move through with our partners, even at times when we're not in our bodies.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: It's so important for this emotional awareness.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do this?
21:00
SPEAKER_00: What's the process?
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Because yes, these colors can be easily brought forward and still may not always be properly communicated.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: So I have five steps for you, five simple steps that you can start applying today, now in your relationship, because it's really our personal responsibility.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: I can't explain enough in our emotional responsibility, our ability to respond.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: Because it not only is our ability, but it's our relationship's coherence to stay in alignment because no one likes to fight.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: No one likes to be in a place that we're in constant conflict.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: So if we can find ways just to draw that awareness, communicate consciously, and most important, have the ability to respond so our partner is completely aware, then we're moving into great.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Prevention, ease, and peace.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: And that is an area that I feel most of us know that's how our central nervous system runs.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: So the very first step is to recognize what's happening to you.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: It's that pause.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: If there is something happening and your partner asks, what's going on?
22:23
SPEAKER_00: And the first thing is just to recognize within where am I at?
22:30
SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know where you're at at that moment, you can easily just imagine three colors.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Am I green?
22:37
SPEAKER_00: Easy flowing.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: Am I yellow?
22:40
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, starting to feel a little precaution, starting to recognize flames boiling.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Or am I red?
22:48
SPEAKER_00: Don't talk to me.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm angry.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm boiling.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: Leave me alone.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Because it could be literally those simple colors and awareness that could save so much time.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: Number two, name it.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, if I would have known this for so many years, it would have saved me the amount of anguish, hurt, and pain.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by name it?
23:21
SPEAKER_00: Identify what emotion you are feeling.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: Am I stressed?
23:27
SPEAKER_00: Am I anxious?
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Am I angry?
23:30
SPEAKER_00: Am I livid?
23:31
SPEAKER_00: Am I fearful?
23:33
SPEAKER_00: It's so important to name it because when you name it, you bring the awareness to it.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: And right when you bring that awareness to it, then it kind of helps you realize that there is an emotional, energetic state moving through you.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, the more clearly you can identify an emotional state, the easier you're able to communicate it.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say that again.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: The more clearly you can identify your emotional state, the easier it is to communicate it.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: So even for those that have a hard time communicating, imagine once you're aware of your emotional state, when you're, let's just say, speaking to your partner, or she surprises you, or you're in the car and you're not feeling happy because you just got a message, or you read something on social media, once you clearly state it, you're bringing that awareness in the identification of it.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: And that's where you can start to then step back, step three, and take emotional responsibility.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that responsibility may need just some time to speak to your partner and saying, honey, I'm going through something right now.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: Can you just give me a second?
25:01
SPEAKER_00: Because what happens if I just need to understand it?
25:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, many times when honey asks me something, she sees something within me before I recognize it.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: And many women have that intuitive response because their emotional systems are much easier to navigate and draw that awareness.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Versus us men, sometimes we feel emotions or we may feel edgy, but we're not quite aware what's happening.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, just the other day she came in and it was a beautiful, bright, sunny day.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: It was a great day to meet family.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: And underneath there was just this edge.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: And of course, waking up, going to the gym, walking outside, she looked at me and she's like, What's wrong?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't say anything.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: She's like, What's going on?
25:48
SPEAKER_00: I didn't say anything at all.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I was in a state where I didn't quite understand everything looks beautiful on the outside, but underneath I was a bit confused why I was feeling uncomfortable.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: And it's okay many times not to communicate when you're not feeling comfortable, because if many of you are like me, we may have said things not so nice when we were in a level of discomfort.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: So, what do I mean by taking responsibility is maybe just stepping back and just focusing.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: What do I need to understand at this moment?
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Where can I bring clarity and really awareness about the responsibility I need to not only communicate to myself, but to step four, communicate it in a space that comes from truth and honesty without attacking your partner, because communication is so necessary in how we share and exhibit our emotions.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, if we're in a state of red, it may not be the best time to communicate.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Maybe even yellow.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: Green, go for it.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: That's why this are you green, yellow or red, emotional traffic light, healing procedure can bring forth a pivotal shift.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: Because when we're in those higher reactive stages, it may not be the time to communicate.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: So for communication, step four, it may just be a pause.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: Honey, may I come back to this statement?
27:34
SPEAKER_00: Can you just give me some time to take a breath?
27:36
SPEAKER_00: Or if my central nervous system is overreactive, maybe I drop into box breathing where I inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and then relax four seconds.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: Do that four times just to regulate the central nervous system.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Can easily then give the level of communication.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: Or we can easily say, you know, I'm not ready to communicate because I'm just really feeling off.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Can you honor that and we'll come back to this?
28:05
SPEAKER_00: All it takes is truth, transparency, and most important, accountability.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: And again, it may be hard to communicate through the emotions.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: So if it comes out a little abrupt, which I've done many times, if it comes out a little snappy turtle, we know those snappy turtles that come out.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: Just know that your partner and yourself may be working through this.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: And it's so important that you support each other in this process.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm doing the best I can.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: I just want to communicate to this.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: And then step five, listen and reconnect.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: Because as soon as you communicate, you want to wholeheartedly listen.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: Listen to each other.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we may ask, how did you experience that?
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Is there something missing?
28:57
SPEAKER_00: Were there warning signs I didn't catch?
28:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, honey always tells me you didn't catch that sign.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: You went off immediately.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: And it's true.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I didn't catch my own signs of moving from green to red like that.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: Because it's very easy to say, well, I'm green, yellow, red, but you can go straight from, you know, beautiful green moving and flowing, and that red somehow lights up before you even hit yellow.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh my goodness, I didn't realize I have a short fuse because there's so much irritability, frustration, and resentment that not only creates anger, but it's gone directly to rage.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: And those are all four levels of anger that we have to be aware of.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: And if anyone understands anger, it's literally just long-term chronic sadness that's not been expressed.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: I can't express how important it is for our emotional regulation and mastery in relationships, because every couple really needs to understand that the more peace we can communicate through our emotions and thoughts, the greater of the peace that we can live in our relationships.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: And it's not always easy.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have difficult times, but if you can stay in the eye of the hurricane, which many of you know is the most calm and still place, then it doesn't matter how much chaos is moving around you.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: This system is just to bring that awareness of not only where you're at, but how you can communicate that to your partner.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Because really, isn't the question how can we support each other while taking responsibility of our own emotional response?
30:35
SPEAKER_00: And how we can keep helping each other evolve through this process and knowing that it is really our own responsibility to communicate with love, compassion, empathy, and if not the most important, to protect that space of the relationship.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: I can't express how many times Honey has said, listen, you're not protecting that space of the relationship because constantly you're projecting all of it into the relationship.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm responsible for myself.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: My beloved is responsible for her.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: But there is a sacred relationship that both of us are responsible for.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: And many people don't really look at that because they may be so consumed within their own emotions or thoughts or problems, or the other person's thoughts, emotions, or problems.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: But there is that precious, incredible relationship space.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: And for most men, I always share that that is the space we need to guard.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: We need to take protection.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: Women hold that in their compassion and their motherhood and that sweetness.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Us men, we can take that leadership of say, I'm going to protect this space because it's my responsibility not to let my negative emotions, my negative thoughts, or my negative feelings to invade this relationship.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: So if I have to go outside after I said, honey, I am red, and I go outside to take a walk, or I go to the gym, or I jump in the shower to water myself down to clear the anger so that she's aware of what color I am and I've communicated in a state that she can fully hear.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, it really becomes our responsibility, more so of how we are living our life.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: Because isn't it true that we have a relationship with each and everything around us?
32:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, once we start learning this, are you green, yellow, or red?
32:51
SPEAKER_00: It can bring some fun, some playfulness, so that this argument, conflict, emotional dysregulation doesn't have to become so serious.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: It can actually become a great way of like, okay, you're red, time to get some cold water.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're green.
33:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay, everything's fine.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, it's great to bring our truth to our dear sacred loved ones, truth to ourself, and to live that in our greatest version.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: You know how important it is to really stop and bring that sense of awareness to our emotions could be the greatest game changer that you've ever experienced.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Because no longer emotions have to dominate you, rule you.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: And by truly taking understanding and recognition of them, it gives you the ability to rise above them.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's where I find the real change happens because when emotions no longer are impacting you, and you're already watching, becoming aware, being disciplined to hold your guard for the relationship, then boy, do things become easier.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: And where does it start?
34:19
SPEAKER_00: Recognizing your feelings, taking responsibility of your emotions, communicating with honesty, and protecting that preciousness of the connection you have with your dear loved ones.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: So thank you for really putting it all into it today, giving yourself the opportunity to ask maybe the six words that save your night, save your relationship if it's gotten to the point where it's about to break, and all it has to become is are you green, yellow, or red?
35:00
SPEAKER_00: Because once we are aware of where we are in our state of imbalance or harmony, then it gives us the conscious choice of how to respond or react.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: It gives us the ability for our loved ones to become aware.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: Because no one wants to be surprised by our lack of responsibility in how we address our emotions.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: And if anything, for us to hold that highest commitment to ourselves, so that as we move through this process, we don't have to be getting unnecessary speeding tickets, running these red lights, exhausting our relationships and putting our house into flames because we just allowed ourselves to once again move into a state of disharmony.
36:01
SPEAKER_00: So please allow yourself to bring forth what you know is already within you.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: And that's that greatest version of who you are.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: Practice this, share this with your wonderful wife, husband.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: Let us know.
36:18
SPEAKER_00: Email us back at info at ascensionalchemist.com.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: Drop a line because literally, this has been a game changer for myself and honey.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: And the more I apply it, the more I'm starting to say, Wow, I apply my emotional awareness, it provides the conscious communication that I now get to have the ability to respond in maturity, in efficacy, that I know that we're all here to be that great version that you already are.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: So until next time, when the flames start to boil, please ask yourself, please ask your partner, are your are you green, yellow, or red?
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Because it may be the most important question to save yourself from another conflict that doesn't have to take hours or days to resolve.
37:14
SPEAKER_00: Thank you all for joining today and wishing you all the most beautiful, blessed day.