Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Why You Get Dysregulated: How Emotions Get Stored In The Nervous System

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Why You Get Dysregulated: How Emotions Get Stored In The Nervous System · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Wealth Podcast, hosted by me, Liv.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: On this podcast, we go beyond the basics to really create a life that glows so that you can thrive in your body, relationships, wealth, money, business, and spiritual connection, where we rewire your nervous system and truly expand into all that is possible.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have a juicy conversation full of all the codes, tools, tips that really work.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keepup with live for more.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, beautiful humans, and welcome back to another episode of the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Happy, or actually, good morning, good afternoon, good whenever you are listening to this.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to be diving in today why you get dysregulated and how things get stored in your nervous system.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And once you understand that, and once you understand really how all of this work or like how doing the emotional work is going to free your system, you'll understand why you've been operating in the same loops, the same patterns for weeks, months, years, perhaps even decades, right?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So this is gonna help you understand how exactly the nervous system and doing the work are linked, and you'll be able to see why this is showing up in your life, and it's gonna really just make things crystal clear.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So trauma is any intense experience in which three emotions, like more than three, three or more emotions, are experienced at the same time.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So you've heard me talk about trauma, and trauma is stored in the nervous system.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Emotions are stored in the nervous system.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hence, where we feel emotions like sad, you know, you cry, there's a physical manifestation.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So any intense experience or event where we have three emotions, and it can be any three emotions: fear, sadness, grief, anger, shame, guilt, frustration, despair, um, terror, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fear and terror are different, like their anger and frustration are different, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So any three, any three or more, when this happens, your brain and your nervous system cannot process all of it at once.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens is it gets overload and it splits like a horcrux.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you watch Harry Potter, it splits like a horcrux where Voldemort splits himself into different horcruxes.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's like your nervous system splits, it gets overloaded.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so it cannot process all of it at once.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So once it splits, these separate parts are stored in the body as excess energy because your body didn't know what to do with it at the time.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was simply too much.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: What happens is that people then don't go back and release that stored emotion, that excess energy.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so it continues to be stored in your nervous system, stored in your body.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you leave it there for too long, you'll get physical manifestations, right?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You will have physical symptoms.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: All physical symptoms are simply a manifestation of conflict going on in your body.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually quite easy.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And once you find the conflict, right, every symptom will be a different conflict, and you dissolve it, the symptom just goes away, disappears.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is literally how I went from 10 years of chronic symptoms to them being gone in a matter of weeks and never coming back and never having to manage them.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm talking PCOS, PMS, uh, acne, severe anxiety, panic attacks, bloating no matter what I ate.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even like what upon waking, even if I was eating avocado, not only eating like I was eating clean, um, IBS, SIBO, digestive issues, chronic fatigue.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: What am I missing?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty much everything.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Heart palpitations, uh, dizziness, uh, low energy.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've said them all.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: You get the picture gone.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because your system wants to let go of this energy, it just needs the guidance to remember how.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does this actually mean?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: This means when we rewire your nervous system, we sit with those parts that have been repressed and therefore unable to fully complete their experience.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a little girl, a younger version of you, who's still feeling the fear.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: She has been unable to process the fear because you pushed it down, you left it there, you go on with life, and you're wondering why your nervous system is dysregulated when you actually haven't released it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: So when you complete the cycle of your emotions that are stored in your nervous system, it allows your system to physiologically shift.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Without doing so, your body is operating in fight or flight.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's secreting hormones, neurotransmitters, biochemical reactions that are keeping it in this dysregulated state.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Most people walk around dysregulated.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Most women walk around dysregulated.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It has become unfortunately very normalized.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're walking around with unprocessed emotions.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And all of these things, like we know, not only can affect things like blood sugar and metabolism, but your menstrual cycle, your mood, your digestion, your hair, like in terms of like hair loss, um, what else we thinking?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Energy levels, skin, I mean, you name it, it's there.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So when we rewire it, we disconnect the emotion from the memory so that the emotion can leave the body.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot do this simply by sitting thinking of the memory and crying about it.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna give a personal example so we can put this into context.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I will touch on um normal childhood in a second, but let me tell you this story first.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so for those of you who don't know, my dad, like my biological dad, was not present growing up and then ended up passing away when I was eight in 2000.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was like eight, eight or nine.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout my whole childhood, I had like severe abandonment wounds about like my dad not being there.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: People would ask, like, oh, what is your dad do?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just break down into tears.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, you know, little kids, they just ask about things and I would break down into tears.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Even in my teenage years, you know, you're dating someone and they ask, like, all about your dad, or blah blah blah, I'd break down.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I had that stored emotion.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: So me sitting there and crying about my dad not being there, of why am I not good enough?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why did why was he present in my half siblings' lives, but not mine?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why did he abandon whatever, blah, blah, blah, didn't actually release it from my body.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is where people think like doing the emotional work is you just sitting there and crying about the thing that made you upset.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because if that was the case, then when I cried the first time, it would have been gone.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I am popping on to let you know that it is that time of year again.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Safety is now open and it is only open twice a year.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is my signature program to heal your nervous system to create safety in your body so that you can live life and run your business from a calm and relaxed place.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Inside safety, we are rewiring your nervous system to dissolve any lack of safety in your body.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're breaking you out of the dysregulated cycle so that what others say and do wash over you, while expanding your nervous system to exist in a calm and relaxed state.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And from this, the baseline feeling in your body gets to be light and free so you can experience more joy and bliss.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's simple, it's efficient, and it doesn't have to take a lot of time.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is a game changer.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: It is the space for lasting healing so you don't feel like you're tired, pushing, managing your way through your days.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So whether you find yourself regularly triggered or dysregulated or just feeling overwhelmed in life, business, and relationships, safety gets to the root and anchors in a state of calm.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: This will support you by dissolving all of the emotional trauma in your nervous system that is keeping you dysregulated and bring it into that calm and relaxed state.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is unlike anything else out there because we work on all three angles of the brain simultaneously to rewire your nervous system, get to the root cause, and dissolve it for good.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Other programs simply do one, maybe two types of processing, but not all three.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: We do top-down, bottom-up, and horizontal so that you can completely rewire it as a whole.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to be calm and relaxed throughout your day, if you want to run your business from a relaxed place with ease, if you no longer want to be overthinking, if you want to be more present with your kids and your partners, if you want to feel more fulfilled, if you want to have things just wash over you, if you want to experience ecstatic joy and bliss because you're no longer weighed down by anxiety, if you want incredible digestion, if you want the baseline feeling in your body to be light and free, then join us inside safety because this is going to create the spaciousness in life because your body is existing at that calm, safe state.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And because of that, you actually have an overflow of energy and capacity to receive all of the deliciousness in life.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you're no longer irritable or snappy.
• 10:15
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• 10:18
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• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: There are payment plans available.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can check out the link below for all of the details, plenty of client experiences, and also tons more on my Instagram.
• 10:29
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• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, send me a DM and I will see you inside.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get back to the episode.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't actually unlink the emotion from the memory so that the emotion can leave the body.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: What it does is it re-traumatizes because every time you bring up the emotion, but you don't release it, you re-traumatize the body, you bring it back to that state, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: You when we get upset about it, like I go back to like the depths of feeling abandoned, unloved, not enough, etc.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Every single time.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it happens, and it happens.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is what happens when people get triggered.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is I'm just talking about one specific trigger.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: But this happens to every single trigger.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And what do people do?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: They avoid triggers.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: My gosh, there is nothing worse that you can do than avoid your triggers because you're just keeping your body in a state of hyper-vigilance and fight or flight.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: You actually want to confront it and process and move past it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: But people will like, you know, put the blinders on, pretend the trigger's not there, sweep it under the rug, walk on eggshells.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually not serving you.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm here because I actually want you to be light and free and to not be dysregulated.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: But we can see how simply like from in that example, me crying about it, it doesn't actually release it from my system because then I would no longer be upset.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll know if you've released it when it's no longer something that bothers you.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And now I can talk about it till the cows come home.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have zero, you know, fear or shame or abandonment or enough, like I've got nothing.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I actually feel like quite expansion and quite like positive about the whole thing.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: But that took me rewiring my nervous system beyond just crying because I was upset about it.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're not taught growing up how to do this, and so it's not your fault, right?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: You it takes like learning about the nervous system and like psychology and like how to release trauma.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not your fault that you don't know how to do it, but it's the most important thing is that you put yourself in a container which will allow you to do it.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, we get these repressed emotions, it contributes to disease in the body, dis-ease, right?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: We separate the words disease is really just the conflict in your body, and then we get dysregulated.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when we live in this state of dysregulation, because it's normally not one thing, we normally get dysregulated about many things, and the reason things happen and keeps dysregulating us is because your system actually wants you to rewire it, it's presenting you with situations to rewire it, you just avoid it and or retraumatize yourself and/or don't allow yourself to fully process it.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where the problem occurs.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because when your amygdala perceives something as negative or painful or repulsive, right, it activates the sympathetic response, right?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: That fight or flight.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whether this is, you know, abandonment, rejection, fear, it doesn't matter what it is, anything that it thinks is negative or painful, sympathetic response.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: When your system is continuously existing in that state, because you have unprocessed emotions, we get dysregulation.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And a great way to see how dysregulated you are is to look at your HRV, which is your heart rate variance.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you have an aura rang, you can look at it.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to know to know your HRV.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you're getting dysregulated, you know you're getting triggered or dysregulated versus someone who doesn't get dysregulated or triggered ever.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But that's a great measure.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You want it to be over 100.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that'll like for people who really like like a scientific way to see it, it shows you a direct measure of your autonomic nervous system and shows you how much like stored energy is in your body that you haven't released yet.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So really think about this as your physical body is constantly sending you feedback.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your physical body is sending you feedback of your nervous system, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Your trauma, your repressed emotions.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now we spoke about normal childhood.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so you might be thinking, well, Liv, my dad was there, so I don't have trauma and I'm gonna call bullshit.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so if you've been in my world, you know there's no such thing as a quote unquote normal childhood.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and also keep in mind what I just said that most women are dysregulated.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if we think about most women are dysregulated, then that's quote unquote normal to be dysregulated.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's common, but it sure as hell is not normal.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so just because, okay, dad was there, maybe dad wasn't emotionally available.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe dad was there and loved you, but worked a lot, so you felt like he wasn't there, or mom and dad got a divorce, or I don't know, you thought they loved your sister more, or blah blah or you were never enough compared to your sister.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: But there's always, always things.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when you invalidate that, what you're doing is you're invalidating that little girl, and you're not even giving her the chance to process emotions, right?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's nothing really to quote unquote fix, it's more of a releasing of the excess energy and the split parts of your emotions and or trauma, whatever you want to call it, that is causing dysregulation, that is causing then hormonal imbalances, cytokine storms, inflammatory reactions, digestive issues, all the things.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: The second we have symptoms, we assume that it's like an illness instead of a response of a feedback of like, oh shoot, all right, I have unprocessed emotions, I need to look at.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: In every moment of your life that there's an imbalance, you end up storing that information in your nervous system.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: The wisdom of your body is actually so profound.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when you rewire it and you start using your executive center, which is also like your appreciation center, a different center of the brain, and you neutralize it and you bring it back to love, you no longer get dysregulated.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I've made this very simple because it actually is that simple.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: So think about all the emotions from when you were born until now, even in the womb, right?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because we pick up things in the womb.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Our nervous system mirrors those that we are exposed to growing up with.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if mom and dad were dysregulated, even if they didn't show it, even if they're like, hi sweetie, how is your day?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And inside she's like dysregulated, you're gonna mirror that no matter what, let alone what you actually like see and perceive and what happens to you.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so all these little things start to add up, all of these little sticky balls, if you will, get stored in your system and then manifest physically.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: The only reason you are still getting dysregulated is because you haven't released that emotion while actually rewiring the experience.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why people are like, well, I sit and I cry.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: We've gone through why that doesn't work.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, or there's the common classic regulate your nervous system by dunking your face in ice water.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: The reason you're dysregulated is not because you didn't dunk your face in ice water when you were little.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: The reason you're dysregulated is because I'm gonna give the example of the dad, because your dad abandoned you.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we're dysregulated.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: That little girl does not receive healing by dunking her face in ice water.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: That is not going to change her experience.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: You actually have to change her perception and her experience if you want to dissolve that.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're gonna keep having to dunk your face in ice water.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: You'll feel better for a hot second, maybe, but then it comes back, and then you're just regulated, you know, an hour later, maybe by your partner.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe now you're anxiously attached because your dad abandoned you when you were younger.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Pulling from personal experience.
• 18:54
  unknown: Right.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I healed that, I also healed my relationship and brought safety into that, and then I wasn't anxiously attached, and it ripples everywhere.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when people try to do the things to regulate their nervous system, like dunking your face in ice water, and I might do a little, I should probably do like a just a separate episode of like why dunking your face in ice water doesn't heal your nervous system, but it doesn't.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or the classic, you know, just ground your system, just put your feet on the earth.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm a fan of that.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I do like a cold plunge, don't get me wrong.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I do like putting my feet on the earth and like ground, but if you think that is gonna release those repressed emotions, it's not.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because managing your nervous system shouldn't actually take time, you shouldn't need those rituals and practices to manage.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Safety should just be who you are.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: No longer needing all these practices or an hour of breath work and doing this and avoiding your triggers and like meditating for two hours.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to do all those things, wonderful.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like they shouldn't be required for you to be safe and regulated, you should just have uncircumstantial safety no matter what.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's not that you know things don't happen to me or like life, whatever.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's that my nervous system is so safe and so solid that it is very, very hard to dysregulate me.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: It would take a lot.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: So with that being said, you actually need to rewire those experiences so your body can experience safety.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, this is what we're doing inside safety.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: I also have a free experience coming up called Chill as Fuck or Chill AF, which is about what it takes to live life with a relaxed nervous system.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely sign up for that free training because it's going to be gold.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we will also leave the link for safety down below.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you have safety, you remain calm as a cucumber through life.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: You no longer go up and down, you no longer have anxiety, you no longer get dysregulated, none of that.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, all the physical symptoms go away as a byproduct.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: So most people aren't doing what's actually required, they aren't getting to the root, they're just putting their face in ice water in the name of regulation when what you actually need is a simple and easy process for having a nervous system that is safe.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I cannot wait to have you inside.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now you'll understand why dysregulation happens and how emotions get stored in the nervous system.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot wait to see you at least inside Chill AF andor safety.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, send me a message on Instagram and I will see you in the next episode.