Latest / How To Love Yourself No Matter What / 318. Navigating Family Drama Like a Pro: Patterns, Pleasing, and Perception!

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318. Navigating Family Drama Like a Pro: Patterns, Pleasing, and Perception! · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

• 0:00
  Hey,
• 0:00
  I'm
• 0:01
  Amanda
• 0:01
  Hess.
• 0:02
  I'm
• 0:02
  a
• 0:02
  certified
• 0:02
  life
• 0:03
  coach.
• 0:03
  But
• 0:04
  what
• 0:04
  you
• 0:04
  need
• 0:04
  to
• 0:04
  know
• 0:04
  is
• 0:05
  I'm
• 0:05
  a
• 0:05
  sensitive
• 0:06
  woman
• 0:06
  just
• 0:06
  like
• 0:07
  you,
• 0:07
  and
• 0:07
  I'm
• 0:08
  going
• 0:08
  to
• 0:08
  help
• 0:08
  you
• 0:09
  understand
• 0:09
  yourself
• 0:10
  better
• 0:10
  so
• 0:10
  that
• 0:11
  you
• 0:11
  can
• 0:11
  approach
• 0:11
  your
• 0:12
  life
• 0:12
  differently
• 0:13
  and
• 0:13
  feel
• 0:14
  really
• 0:15
  good
• 0:15
  about
• 0:15
  it.
• 0:16
  Let's
• 0:16
  go.
• 0:17
  It
• 0:17
  is
• 0:18
  summer
• 0:19
  in
• 0:19
  Canada,
• 0:20
  and
• 0:21
  one
• 0:21
  thing
• 0:22
  that
• 0:22
  I
• 0:22
  know
• 0:23
  weighs
• 0:24
  so
• 0:24
  many
• 0:24
  women
• 0:24
  down
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  is
• 0:26
  dealing
• 0:27
  with
• 0:27
  family,
• 0:28
  dealing
• 0:29
  with
• 0:29
  weddings,
• 0:30
  graduations,
• 0:31
  vacations,
• 0:32
  visitors
• 0:33
  expectations,
• 0:34
  drama.
• 0:36
  And
• 0:36
  I
• 0:37
  really
• 0:37
  want
• 0:37
  to
• 0:37
  talk
• 0:37
  about
• 0:37
  this
• 0:38
  today
• 0:38
  because
• 0:39
  the
• 0:39
  issue
• 0:39
  isn't
• 0:40
  really
• 0:41
  the
• 0:42
  events
• 0:42
  that
• 0:42
  we
• 0:43
  have
• 0:43
  going
• 0:43
  on.
• 0:44
  It's
• 0:44
  not
• 0:44
  even
• 0:44
  necessarily
• 0:46
  the
• 0:46
  family
• 0:46
  members,
• 0:47
  although
• 0:47
  it
• 0:47
  could
• 0:47
  be.
• 0:48
  But
• 0:48
  what
• 0:49
  I
• 0:49
  really
• 0:49
  see
• 0:50
  being
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  issue
• 0:51
  is
• 0:52
  the
• 0:52
  patterns.
• 0:53
  Because
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  wedding
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  not
• 0:55
  just
• 0:55
  a
• 0:55
  wedding,
• 0:56
  right?
• 0:57
  Family
• 0:58
  is
• 0:58
  steeped
• 0:59
  in
• 0:59
  patterns.
• 1:00
  So
• 1:01
  we
• 1:01
  have
• 1:02
  the
• 1:02
  same
• 1:02
  fights
• 1:03
  with
• 1:03
  the
• 1:03
  same
• 1:04
  people
• 1:05
  about
• 1:05
  the
• 1:05
  same
• 1:06
  things.
• 1:07
  And
• 1:07
  you
• 1:07
  can
• 1:08
  almost
• 1:08
  predict
• 1:09
  the
• 1:10
  whole
• 1:10
  thing
• 1:10
  before
• 1:11
  you
• 1:11
  walk
• 1:11
  in
• 1:11
  the
• 1:12
  door.
• 1:12
  You
• 1:12
  already
• 1:13
  know
• 1:14
  who's
• 1:15
  going
• 1:15
  to
• 1:15
  say
• 1:16
  what,
• 1:16
  who's
• 1:17
  going
• 1:17
  to
• 1:18
  be
• 1:18
  talking
• 1:18
  about
• 1:19
  politics,
• 1:20
  who's
• 1:20
  going
• 1:20
  to
• 1:21
  be
• 1:21
  pissed
• 1:21
  off
• 1:22
  about
• 1:22
  whatever's
• 1:23
  happening
• 1:23
  at
• 1:23
  the
• 1:23
  time,
• 1:24
  who's
• 1:24
  going
• 1:25
  to
• 1:25
  have
• 1:25
  have
• 1:25
  thoughts
• 1:25
  and
• 1:26
  beliefs
• 1:26
  that
• 1:26
  differ
• 1:27
  from
• 1:27
  everybody
• 1:27
  else,
• 1:28
  who's
• 1:28
  going
• 1:28
  to
• 1:28
  be
• 1:28
  loud,
• 1:29
  who's
• 1:29
  going
• 1:29
  to
• 1:29
  be
• 1:30
  passive
• 1:30
  aggressive,
• 1:31
  who's
• 1:31
  going
• 1:31
  to
• 1:32
  have
• 1:32
  a
• 1:33
  problem.
• 1:33
  We
• 1:33
  know
• 1:34
  you
• 1:34
  already
• 1:35
  know
• 1:36
  who's
• 1:37
  going
• 1:37
  to
• 1:37
  say
• 1:37
  the
• 1:38
  thing,
• 1:38
  right?
• 1:39
  And
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  know
• 1:40
  how
• 1:41
  you're
• 1:41
  going
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  feel
• 1:42
  in
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  car
• 1:42
  on
• 1:43
  the
• 1:43
  way
• 1:43
  home.
• 1:44
  The
• 1:44
  thing
• 1:44
  is,
• 1:45
  is
• 1:45
  that
• 1:45
  these
• 1:45
  patterns
• 1:46
  that
• 1:46
  we've
• 1:46
  established
• 1:47
  with
• 1:47
  our
• 1:47
  family,
• 1:48
  these
• 1:48
  things
• 1:48
  that
• 1:49
  we
• 1:49
  have
• 1:50
  built
• 1:50
  in,
• 1:51
  baked
• 1:51
  into
• 1:51
  our
• 1:52
  family
• 1:52
  units,
• 1:53
  they
• 1:54
  aren't
• 1:54
  random.
• 1:55
  They're
• 1:55
  not
• 1:56
  random.
• 1:56
  We
• 1:56
  don't
• 1:56
  even
• 1:57
  do
• 1:57
  it
• 1:57
  on
• 1:57
  purpose.
• 1:58
  It's
• 1:59
  really
• 1:59
  just
• 1:59
  that
• 1:59
  your
• 2:00
  nervous
• 2:00
  system
• 2:01
  learned
• 2:02
  how
• 2:03
  to
• 2:03
  handle
• 2:03
  this
• 2:04
  young.
• 2:05
  And
• 2:05
  in
• 2:06
  all
• 2:06
  honesty,
• 2:06
  this
• 2:07
  is
• 2:07
  where
• 2:07
  a
• 2:07
  lot
• 2:07
  of
• 2:07
  people
• 2:08
  pleasing
• 2:08
  and
• 2:09
  hypervigilance
• 2:10
  gets
• 2:10
  wired
• 2:10
  in.
• 2:11
  Family
• 2:12
  is
• 2:12
  ultimately
• 2:13
  the
• 2:13
  original
• 2:13
  space
• 2:14
  where
• 2:14
  we
• 2:14
  learned
• 2:15
  how
• 2:15
  to
• 2:15
  cope
• 2:15
  with
• 2:16
  these
• 2:16
  experiences,
• 2:18
  with
• 2:18
  these
• 2:18
  people,
• 2:19
  with
• 2:20
  these
• 2:20
  emotions.
• 2:21
  And
• 2:22
  what
• 2:22
  happens
• 2:23
  is
• 2:23
  that
• 2:24
  when
• 2:24
  you
• 2:24
  walk
• 2:25
  back
• 2:25
  into
• 2:25
  family
• 2:26
  scenarios,
• 2:27
  your
• 2:28
  body
• 2:29
  really
• 2:29
  does
• 2:29
  time
• 2:30
  travel.
• 2:31
  You
• 2:31
  are
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  grown
• 2:31
  adult,
• 2:33
  but
• 2:33
  your
• 2:33
  nervous
• 2:34
  system
• 2:34
  just
• 2:35
  drops
• 2:36
  into
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  old
• 2:37
  rule.
• 2:38
  And
• 2:39
  the
• 2:39
  pattern
• 2:39
  isn't
• 2:40
  a
• 2:40
  character
• 2:41
  flaw.
• 2:41
  It's
• 2:42
  just
• 2:42
  that
• 2:42
  your
• 2:43
  nervous
• 2:43
  system
• 2:44
  is
• 2:44
  doing
• 2:45
  what
• 2:45
  it
• 2:46
  was
• 2:46
  trained
• 2:47
  to
• 2:47
  do.
• 2:48
  The
• 2:48
  pattern
• 2:48
  is
• 2:49
  simply
• 2:49
  something
• 2:50
  that
• 2:50
  has
• 2:50
  been
• 2:51
  established
• 2:51
  with
• 2:52
  time
• 2:52
  and
• 2:52
  practice.
• 2:53
  And
• 2:54
  to
• 2:54
  an
• 2:54
  extent,
• 2:55
  it
• 2:55
  kind
• 2:56
  of
• 2:56
  works.
• 2:57
  It
• 2:57
  kind
• 2:57
  of
• 2:58
  works
• 2:58
  and
• 2:58
  everybody
• 2:59
  is
• 3:00
  basically
• 3:01
  playing
• 3:01
  a
• 3:01
  part
• 3:02
  in
• 3:02
  the
• 3:02
  same
• 3:03
  play,
• 3:03
  right?
• 3:04
  And
• 3:04
  that's
• 3:04
  why
• 3:05
  we'll
• 3:05
  see
• 3:05
  it
• 3:05
  be
• 3:05
  repeated
• 3:06
  again
• 3:07
  and
• 3:07
  again.
• 3:08
  It's
• 3:08
  normal.
• 3:09
  So
• 3:10
  when
• 3:10
  I'm
• 3:11
  looking
• 3:11
  at
• 3:11
  patterns,
• 3:12
  when
• 3:12
  someone
• 3:12
  is
• 3:12
  Talking
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  me
• 3:13
  about
• 3:14
  how
• 3:14
  a
• 3:14
  family
• 3:15
  barbecue
• 3:15
  is
• 3:15
  going
• 3:16
  to
• 3:16
  go,
• 3:16
  or
• 3:16
  someone
• 3:17
  is
• 3:17
  talking
• 3:17
  to
• 3:17
  me
• 3:18
  about
• 3:18
  how
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  wedding
• 3:20
  or
• 3:20
  a
• 3:21
  memorial
• 3:21
  or
• 3:22
  a
• 3:22
  family
• 3:22
  vacation
• 3:23
  is
• 3:23
  going
• 3:23
  to
• 3:23
  go.
• 3:24
  As
• 3:25
  your
• 3:25
  coach,
• 3:25
  I'm
• 3:26
  looking
• 3:26
  at
• 3:26
  it,
• 3:27
  curious
• 3:27
  about
• 3:28
  what
• 3:29
  you're
• 3:29
  making
• 3:29
  it
• 3:29
  mean,
• 3:30
  what
• 3:30
  you
• 3:31
  make
• 3:31
  your
• 3:31
  relationship
• 3:32
  with
• 3:32
  those
• 3:33
  people
• 3:33
  mean,
• 3:34
  what
• 3:34
  you
• 3:34
  make
• 3:34
  the
• 3:35
  interaction
• 3:35
  mean,
• 3:36
  how
• 3:36
  you're
• 3:36
  taking
• 3:36
  care
• 3:37
  of
• 3:37
  yourself,
• 3:37
  how
• 3:38
  you're
• 3:38
  thinking
• 3:38
  about
• 3:39
  yourself,
• 3:39
  how
• 3:39
  you're
• 3:39
  coaching
• 3:40
  yourself
• 3:40
  through
• 3:40
  that
• 3:41
  scenario.
• 3:41
  Because
• 3:42
  there's
• 3:42
  a
• 3:42
  lot
• 3:43
  of
• 3:43
  moving
• 3:43
  parts.
• 3:44
  But
• 3:45
  what
• 3:45
  is
• 3:46
  so
• 3:46
  fascinating
• 3:47
  is
• 3:47
  they
• 3:48
  always
• 3:48
  kind
• 3:48
  of
• 3:49
  seem
• 3:49
  to
• 3:49
  move
• 3:50
  the
• 3:50
  same
• 3:51
  way
• 3:51
  because
• 3:52
  there
• 3:52
  is
• 3:52
  just
• 3:53
  this
• 3:54
  pattern.
• 3:55
  And
• 3:55
  in
• 3:55
  order
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  break
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  pattern,
• 3:58
  what
• 3:58
  really
• 3:59
  needs
• 3:59
  to
• 3:59
  happen
• 4:00
  is
• 4:00
  we
• 4:01
  need
• 4:01
  to
• 4:01
  learn
• 4:01
  how
• 4:01
  to
• 4:02
  put
• 4:02
  down
• 4:02
  blame.
• 4:03
  We
• 4:03
  need
• 4:03
  to
• 4:04
  learn
• 4:04
  how
• 4:04
  to
• 4:04
  stop
• 4:05
  blaming
• 4:06
  them.
• 4:07
  Blaming
• 4:07
  your
• 4:08
  mom,
• 4:08
  your
• 4:09
  mother
• 4:09
  in
• 4:09
  law,
• 4:09
  your
• 4:10
  sister,
• 4:10
  your
• 4:10
  sister
• 4:11
  in
• 4:11
  law,
• 4:11
  your
• 4:11
  dad,
• 4:11
  your
• 4:12
  father
• 4:12
  in
• 4:12
  law,
• 4:13
  your
• 4:13
  brother,
• 4:13
  your
• 4:14
  sister,
• 4:14
  your
• 4:14
  cousins,
• 4:15
  your
• 4:15
  grandparents.
• 4:16
  You
• 4:16
  need
• 4:16
  to
• 4:17
  stop
• 4:17
  blaming
• 4:18
  them.
• 4:18
  Because
• 4:19
  what
• 4:19
  happens
• 4:19
  is
• 4:20
  when
• 4:20
  we
• 4:20
  do
• 4:20
  that,
• 4:21
  we're
• 4:21
  waiting
• 4:21
  for
• 4:22
  them
• 4:22
  to
• 4:22
  change
• 4:23
  so
• 4:23
  that
• 4:23
  we
• 4:23
  can
• 4:23
  feel
• 4:24
  okay.
• 4:25
  We
• 4:25
  do
• 4:25
  not
• 4:25
  want
• 4:26
  them
• 4:26
  to
• 4:27
  be
• 4:27
  in
• 4:27
  charge
• 4:28
  of
• 4:28
  us
• 4:28
  feeling
• 4:29
  okay.
• 4:29
  And
• 4:29
  what
• 4:29
  we
• 4:30
  don't
• 4:30
  realize
• 4:30
  is
• 4:30
  that
• 4:31
  when
• 4:31
  we
• 4:31
  place
• 4:31
  blame
• 4:32
  on
• 4:32
  them,
• 4:33
  that
• 4:33
  is
• 4:33
  essentially
• 4:34
  what
• 4:34
  we're
• 4:34
  doing.
• 4:35
  We
• 4:35
  need
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  put
• 4:36
  down
• 4:36
  the
• 4:36
  blame
• 4:36
  of
• 4:36
  blaming
• 4:37
  yourself.
• 4:38
  Really
• 4:39
  blaming
• 4:39
  yourself
• 4:40
  is
• 4:40
  people
• 4:41
  pleasing
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  an
• 4:42
  extent.
• 4:43
  If
• 4:43
  I'd
• 4:44
  have
• 4:44
  been
• 4:44
  quieter,
• 4:45
  if
• 4:45
  I'd
• 4:46
  have
• 4:46
  been
• 4:46
  better,
• 4:46
  if
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  hadn't
• 4:47
  have
• 4:47
  brought
• 4:48
  that
• 4:48
  up,
• 4:48
  if
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  could
• 4:49
  just
• 4:49
  remain
• 4:50
  calm,
• 4:51
  if
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  could
• 4:52
  just
• 4:52
  not
• 4:52
  have
• 4:52
  lost
• 4:52
  my
• 4:53
  shit,
• 4:54
  if
• 4:54
  I
• 4:54
  could.
• 4:54
  I
• 4:55
  wish
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  would.
• 4:56
  What
• 4:56
  it
• 4:56
  does
• 4:57
  is
• 4:57
  it.
• 4:57
  It
• 4:57
  keeps
• 4:58
  you
• 4:58
  small,
• 4:59
  it
• 4:59
  keeps
• 4:59
  you
• 4:59
  on
• 5:00
  guard,
• 5:00
  it
• 5:01
  keeps
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  in
• 5:01
  the
• 5:01
  scenario
• 5:02
  of
• 5:02
  there
• 5:03
  is
• 5:03
  a
• 5:03
  problem
• 5:04
  when
• 5:04
  we
• 5:05
  engage
• 5:05
  in
• 5:05
  blame.
• 5:06
  Either
• 5:07
  blaming
• 5:07
  them
• 5:07
  or
• 5:07
  blaming
• 5:08
  yourself.
• 5:09
  It
• 5:09
  feels
• 5:10
  like
• 5:10
  doing
• 5:10
  something.
• 5:11
  If
• 5:11
  I
• 5:12
  blame
• 5:12
  you,
• 5:12
  it
• 5:12
  feels
• 5:12
  like
• 5:13
  I'm
• 5:13
  doing
• 5:13
  something
• 5:13
  about
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  scenario.
• 5:14
  If
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  blame
• 5:15
  myself,
• 5:15
  it
• 5:16
  feels
• 5:16
  like
• 5:16
  I'm
• 5:16
  doing
• 5:16
  something
• 5:17
  about
• 5:17
  the
• 5:17
  scenario.
• 5:18
  The
• 5:18
  problem
• 5:19
  with
• 5:19
  it
• 5:19
  is
• 5:19
  that
• 5:19
  neither
• 5:20
  thing,
• 5:21
  neither
• 5:21
  type
• 5:22
  of
• 5:22
  blame
• 5:22
  changes
• 5:23
  anything.
• 5:24
  And
• 5:24
  what
• 5:24
  they
• 5:24
  actually
• 5:25
  do
• 5:26
  is
• 5:26
  they
• 5:27
  keep
• 5:28
  the
• 5:28
  pattern
• 5:29
  going,
• 5:30
  they
• 5:30
  keep
• 5:30
  it
• 5:30
  the
• 5:31
  same.
• 5:32
  So
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  want
• 5:32
  to
• 5:32
  tell
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  a
• 5:33
  story
• 5:34
  that
• 5:34
  I
• 5:34
  walked
• 5:35
  through
• 5:35
  with
• 5:35
  a
• 5:35
  client
• 5:36
  recently.
• 5:37
  I
• 5:37
  had
• 5:37
  a
• 5:37
  client
• 5:38
  who
• 5:39
  had
• 5:40
  the
• 5:40
  experience
• 5:40
  of
• 5:41
  walking
• 5:41
  into
• 5:41
  the
• 5:41
  kind
• 5:42
  of
• 5:42
  weekend
• 5:42
  we're
• 5:42
  talking
• 5:43
  about,
• 5:43
  right?
• 5:44
  She
• 5:44
  was
• 5:44
  at
• 5:44
  a
• 5:45
  family
• 5:45
  event
• 5:46
  and
• 5:47
  the
• 5:47
  whole
• 5:47
  extended
• 5:48
  family
• 5:48
  was
• 5:48
  included,
• 5:49
  including
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  sister
• 5:50
  and
• 5:50
  a
• 5:51
  cousin
• 5:51
  that
• 5:52
  she
• 5:52
  used
• 5:52
  to
• 5:52
  be
• 5:53
  close
• 5:53
  to,
• 5:54
  who
• 5:54
  in
• 5:54
  her
• 5:54
  words,
• 5:55
  had
• 5:55
  formed
• 5:56
  a
• 5:56
  family
• 5:56
  alliance
• 5:57
  against
• 5:58
  her.
• 5:59
  And
• 5:59
  the
• 6:00
  old
• 6:00
  pattern
• 6:00
  was
• 6:01
  right
• 6:01
  there,
• 6:02
  right?
• 6:03
  The
• 6:03
  taking
• 6:04
  of
• 6:04
  sides.
• 6:05
  Did
• 6:05
  you
• 6:06
  hear
• 6:06
  what
• 6:06
  she
• 6:06
  said
• 6:07
  about
• 6:07
  you?
• 6:07
  Type
• 6:08
  of
• 6:09
  scenario,
• 6:10
  the
• 6:10
  defending
• 6:10
  of
• 6:11
  yourself
• 6:11
  to
• 6:11
  Other
• 6:12
  people,
• 6:12
  the
• 6:12
  vigilance
• 6:13
  of
• 6:13
  what
• 6:13
  are
• 6:13
  they
• 6:13
  doing,
• 6:14
  what
• 6:14
  are
• 6:14
  they
• 6:14
  saying,
• 6:15
  what's
• 6:15
  happening?
• 6:16
  What
• 6:16
  did
• 6:16
  she
• 6:17
  say
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  you?
• 6:18
  The
• 6:18
  truth
• 6:18
  is
• 6:18
  that
• 6:19
  for
• 6:19
  this
• 6:19
  client,
• 6:20
  a
• 6:20
  year
• 6:20
  ago,
• 6:21
  she
• 6:21
  would
• 6:22
  have
• 6:22
  gotten
• 6:22
  pulled
• 6:23
  in,
• 6:23
  I
• 6:24
  call
• 6:24
  it
• 6:24
  picking
• 6:25
  up
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  rope,
• 6:26
  right?
• 6:26
  She
• 6:27
  would
• 6:27
  have
• 6:27
  walked
• 6:27
  into
• 6:28
  that
• 6:28
  event
• 6:29
  believing
• 6:30
  that
• 6:30
  other
• 6:30
  people
• 6:31
  were
• 6:31
  talking
• 6:31
  shit
• 6:31
  about
• 6:32
  her,
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  this
• 6:32
  was
• 6:33
  a
• 6:33
  problem,
• 6:33
  that
• 6:33
  other
• 6:34
  people
• 6:34
  believed
• 6:34
  it,
• 6:35
  that
• 6:35
  this
• 6:35
  was
• 6:35
  somehow
• 6:35
  going
• 6:36
  wrong.
• 6:37
  And
• 6:37
  when
• 6:37
  I
• 6:37
  say
• 6:37
  picking
• 6:38
  up
• 6:38
  the
• 6:38
  rope,
• 6:38
  what
• 6:38
  I
• 6:38
  mean
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  she
• 6:39
  would
• 6:39
  have
• 6:39
  just
• 6:39
  picked
• 6:40
  that
• 6:40
  up
• 6:40
  as
• 6:41
  being
• 6:41
  the
• 6:41
  truth
• 6:41
  and
• 6:41
  started
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  pull
• 6:42
  against
• 6:43
  it,
• 6:44
  started
• 6:44
  to
• 6:44
  tug
• 6:44
  a
• 6:45
  war
• 6:45
  inside
• 6:45
  of
• 6:46
  herself
• 6:46
  about
• 6:46
  it.
• 6:47
  And
• 6:47
  she
• 6:47
  would
• 6:47
  have
• 6:48
  come
• 6:48
  home
• 6:49
  really
• 6:49
  upset.
• 6:50
  It
• 6:51
  would
• 6:51
  have
• 6:51
  felt
• 6:51
  like
• 6:52
  a
• 6:52
  disaster
• 6:53
  because
• 6:53
  the
• 6:54
  emotional
• 6:54
  roller
• 6:55
  coaster
• 6:55
  that
• 6:55
  she
• 6:55
  would
• 6:56
  have
• 6:56
  been
• 6:56
  on
• 6:56
  would
• 6:57
  have
• 6:57
  been
• 6:57
  exhausting.
• 6:58
  What
• 6:59
  was
• 6:59
  different
• 6:59
  was
• 6:59
  on
• 7:00
  the
• 7:00
  drive
• 7:00
  up,
• 7:00
  she
• 7:01
  and
• 7:01
  her
• 7:01
  husband
• 7:02
  actually
• 7:03
  got
• 7:03
  themselves
• 7:04
  ready.
• 7:04
  Not
• 7:05
  from
• 7:05
  a
• 7:05
  guarding
• 7:06
  and
• 7:06
  get
• 7:06
  ready
• 7:06
  from
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  fight
• 7:07
  perspective,
• 7:07
  but
• 7:08
  instead
• 7:09
  she
• 7:09
  would
• 7:09
  remind
• 7:10
  herself
• 7:10
  and
• 7:11
  him
• 7:11
  that
• 7:12
  they've
• 7:13
  built
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  kind
• 7:14
  of
• 7:14
  life
• 7:14
  they
• 7:14
  want,
• 7:15
  that
• 7:16
  they
• 7:16
  have
• 7:17
  everything
• 7:17
  they
• 7:17
  need
• 7:18
  in
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  life
• 7:18
  that
• 7:18
  they
• 7:19
  are
• 7:19
  experiencing,
• 7:19
  that
• 7:20
  they
• 7:20
  are
• 7:20
  exceedingly
• 7:21
  happy
• 7:22
  in
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  life
• 7:23
  that
• 7:24
  they
• 7:24
  have,
• 7:25
  in
• 7:25
  the
• 7:25
  way
• 7:25
  that
• 7:25
  they
• 7:26
  are,
• 7:26
  in
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  way
• 7:26
  that
• 7:27
  they
• 7:27
  experience
• 7:28
  it.
• 7:29
  And
• 7:29
  so
• 7:29
  they
• 7:30
  decided
• 7:30
  together
• 7:30
  that
• 7:31
  they
• 7:31
  would
• 7:31
  not
• 7:31
  engage
• 7:32
  and
• 7:33
  that
• 7:33
  if
• 7:33
  someone
• 7:33
  were
• 7:33
  to
• 7:34
  start
• 7:34
  something
• 7:35
  that
• 7:35
  they
• 7:35
  would
• 7:35
  just
• 7:35
  agree
• 7:36
  to
• 7:36
  not
• 7:36
  talk
• 7:36
  about
• 7:37
  that.
• 7:38
  You
• 7:38
  might
• 7:39
  hear
• 7:39
  this
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  think,
• 7:39
  I
• 7:40
  do
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  too,
• 7:40
  but
• 7:41
  I'm
• 7:41
  still
• 7:41
  hating
• 7:42
  it.
• 7:42
  And
• 7:42
  the
• 7:42
  difference
• 7:43
  is,
• 7:43
  is
• 7:43
  really
• 7:44
  a
• 7:45
  shift
• 7:45
  in
• 7:45
  mindset.
• 7:46
  What
• 7:47
  happened
• 7:47
  is
• 7:47
  she
• 7:47
  decided
• 7:49
  who
• 7:49
  she
• 7:49
  was
• 7:49
  going
• 7:49
  to
• 7:50
  be
• 7:51
  beforehand,
• 7:52
  how
• 7:52
  she
• 7:52
  was
• 7:53
  gonna
• 7:53
  show
• 7:53
  up,
• 7:54
  how
• 7:54
  she
• 7:54
  was
• 7:54
  gonna
• 7:55
  think
• 7:55
  about
• 7:55
  it.
• 7:56
  She
• 7:56
  did
• 7:56
  that
• 7:57
  instead
• 7:57
  of
• 7:58
  just
• 7:58
  letting
• 7:59
  the
• 7:59
  emotions
• 8:00
  lead
• 8:00
  and
• 8:00
  letting
• 8:00
  herself
• 8:01
  react
• 8:01
  in
• 8:01
  the
• 8:02
  moment.
• 8:03
  There
• 8:03
  was
• 8:03
  actually
• 8:04
  drama
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  weekend.
• 8:05
  There
• 8:06
  was
• 8:06
  a
• 8:06
  blow
• 8:06
  up
• 8:07
  event,
• 8:07
  but
• 8:08
  she
• 8:08
  didn't
• 8:08
  have
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  take
• 8:09
  that
• 8:09
  on.
• 8:10
  It
• 8:10
  didn't
• 8:11
  bother
• 8:11
  her,
• 8:12
  it
• 8:12
  didn't
• 8:12
  consume
• 8:13
  her.
• 8:14
  She
• 8:14
  woke
• 8:14
  up
• 8:15
  in
• 8:15
  the
• 8:15
  morning
• 8:15
  and
• 8:15
  felt
• 8:16
  phenomenal.
• 8:17
  She
• 8:17
  had
• 8:17
  a
• 8:17
  real
• 8:18
  weekend
• 8:18
  with
• 8:19
  people
• 8:19
  who
• 8:19
  truly
• 8:20
  matter
• 8:21
  to
• 8:21
  her.
• 8:22
  Now,
• 8:23
  there
• 8:23
  is
• 8:24
  always
• 8:25
  places
• 8:25
  where
• 8:25
  we
• 8:25
  get
• 8:26
  drawn
• 8:26
  in.
• 8:26
  And
• 8:26
  what
• 8:26
  I
• 8:27
  say
• 8:27
  to
• 8:27
  my
• 8:27
  clients
• 8:27
  is
• 8:27
  what
• 8:28
  I'm
• 8:28
  going
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  say
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  you
• 8:28
  right
• 8:28
  now,
• 8:29
  which
• 8:29
  is
• 8:29
  that
• 8:29
  you
• 8:30
  are
• 8:30
  a
• 8:30
  human,
• 8:30
  not
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  robot.
• 8:32
  You
• 8:32
  are
• 8:32
  not
• 8:32
  going
• 8:32
  to
• 8:33
  do
• 8:33
  this
• 8:33
  perfectly.
• 8:34
  She
• 8:34
  actually
• 8:35
  got
• 8:35
  pulled
• 8:35
  in.
• 8:35
  She
• 8:36
  got
• 8:36
  pulled
• 8:36
  in
• 8:36
  because
• 8:37
  her
• 8:37
  mom
• 8:38
  was
• 8:38
  believing
• 8:39
  the
• 8:39
  sister's
• 8:40
  version
• 8:40
  about
• 8:41
  her
• 8:42
  and
• 8:42
  even
• 8:42
  said
• 8:42
  to
• 8:43
  her
• 8:43
  at
• 8:43
  one
• 8:43
  point,
• 8:43
  how
• 8:43
  am
• 8:44
  I
• 8:44
  supposed
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  know
• 8:44
  what's
• 8:44
  true
• 8:45
  about
• 8:45
  you?
• 8:46
  And
• 8:46
  for
• 8:46
  my
• 8:46
  client,
• 8:47
  every
• 8:47
  cell
• 8:48
  in
• 8:48
  her
• 8:48
  body
• 8:48
  wanted
• 8:48
  to
• 8:49
  defend
• 8:49
  herself,
• 8:50
  to
• 8:50
  prove
• 8:50
  it,
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  set
• 8:51
  the
• 8:52
  record
• 8:52
  straight.
• 8:53
  But
• 8:54
  defending
• 8:55
  yourself
• 8:56
  in
• 8:56
  that
• 8:56
  moment
• 8:57
  is
• 8:58
  simply
• 8:58
  a
• 8:58
  manipulation
• 8:59
  to
• 8:59
  make
• 8:59
  Yourself
• 9:00
  feel
• 9:00
  better.
• 9:00
  And
• 9:01
  it's
• 9:01
  important
• 9:01
  to
• 9:01
  know
• 9:02
  that
• 9:02
  because
• 9:02
  it
• 9:02
  doesn't
• 9:03
  even
• 9:03
  work.
• 9:04
  What
• 9:04
  I
• 9:04
  said
• 9:04
  to
• 9:05
  her,
• 9:05
  and
• 9:05
  what
• 9:05
  might
• 9:05
  help
• 9:05
  you
• 9:06
  is
• 9:06
  it's
• 9:06
  like
• 9:06
  arguing
• 9:07
  with
• 9:07
  a
• 9:07
  flat
• 9:07
  earther.
• 9:08
  You
• 9:09
  can
• 9:09
  show
• 9:09
  them
• 9:09
  satellite
• 9:10
  images,
• 9:10
  the
• 9:10
  decades
• 9:11
  of
• 9:11
  science,
• 9:11
  and
• 9:12
  they
• 9:12
  will
• 9:12
  call
• 9:12
  it
• 9:13
  fake.
• 9:14
  It's
• 9:14
  not
• 9:14
  winnable
• 9:15
  because
• 9:16
  the
• 9:16
  other
• 9:16
  person
• 9:16
  doesn't
• 9:17
  want
• 9:17
  to
• 9:17
  change
• 9:18
  their
• 9:18
  mind.
• 9:19
  So
• 9:19
  the
• 9:19
  real
• 9:19
  conversation
• 9:20
  isn't,
• 9:21
  let
• 9:21
  me
• 9:21
  prove
• 9:22
  I'm
• 9:22
  a
• 9:22
  good
• 9:22
  person.
• 9:23
  It's
• 9:23
  I'd
• 9:24
  hope
• 9:24
  you'd
• 9:24
  want
• 9:25
  to
• 9:25
  believe
• 9:25
  the
• 9:25
  best
• 9:26
  in
• 9:26
  me.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:27
  the
• 9:27
  fact
• 9:27
  that
• 9:27
  you
• 9:28
  don't
• 9:28
  is
• 9:28
  the
• 9:28
  actual
• 9:29
  problem
• 9:29
  here.
• 9:30
  And
• 9:30
  then
• 9:30
  you
• 9:31
  can
• 9:31
  walk
• 9:31
  away.
• 9:32
  Being
• 9:32
  the
• 9:33
  better
• 9:33
  person
• 9:33
  here
• 9:33
  is
• 9:34
  really
• 9:34
  not
• 9:34
  for
• 9:35
  them,
• 9:35
  it's
• 9:35
  for
• 9:35
  you.
• 9:36
  You
• 9:37
  are
• 9:37
  the
• 9:37
  one
• 9:37
  that
• 9:38
  has
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  live
• 9:38
  inside
• 9:39
  of
• 9:39
  your
• 9:39
  brain
• 9:39
  after
• 9:40
  the
• 9:40
  weekend's
• 9:40
  over.
• 9:41
  That's
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  elevation.
• 9:42
  This
• 9:43
  isn't
• 9:43
  about
• 9:43
  you
• 9:44
  being
• 9:44
  better
• 9:44
  for
• 9:45
  them.
• 9:45
  This
• 9:46
  is
• 9:46
  about
• 9:46
  you
• 9:46
  staying
• 9:47
  in
• 9:47
  alignment
• 9:47
  with
• 9:48
  you.
• 9:48
  The
• 9:48
  other
• 9:49
  thing
• 9:49
  that
• 9:49
  I
• 9:50
  really
• 9:50
  want
• 9:50
  to
• 9:50
  address
• 9:51
  is
• 9:51
  the
• 9:51
  story
• 9:51
  that
• 9:52
  we
• 9:53
  before,
• 9:53
  during
• 9:54
  and
• 9:54
  after.
• 9:55
  Because
• 9:56
  two
• 9:56
  versions
• 9:57
  of
• 9:57
  every
• 9:58
  experience
• 9:58
  exist
• 9:59
  and
• 9:59
  you
• 9:59
  get
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  decide
• 10:00
  which
• 10:00
  one
• 10:01
  you're
• 10:01
  going
• 10:01
  to
• 10:01
  tell.
• 10:02
  What
• 10:02
  is
• 10:03
  important
• 10:03
  to
• 10:03
  understand
• 10:04
  is
• 10:04
  that
• 10:05
  your
• 10:06
  brain
• 10:06
  is
• 10:07
  listening
• 10:08
  to
• 10:08
  the
• 10:08
  version
• 10:08
  you
• 10:09
  choose
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  say
• 10:09
  out
• 10:10
  loud
• 10:10
  and
• 10:11
  it
• 10:11
  will
• 10:11
  hyper
• 10:12
  focus
• 10:12
  on
• 10:13
  whatever
• 10:13
  you
• 10:13
  choose
• 10:14
  to
• 10:14
  feed
• 10:14
  it.
• 10:15
  So
• 10:15
  this
• 10:16
  client,
• 10:16
  right,
• 10:17
  she
• 10:17
  could
• 10:17
  have
• 10:17
  told
• 10:18
  the
• 10:18
  story
• 10:18
  that
• 10:18
  my
• 10:18
  sister
• 10:19
  ruined
• 10:19
  the
• 10:19
  weekend.
• 10:20
  She
• 10:20
  could
• 10:21
  have
• 10:21
  said
• 10:21
  it
• 10:21
  was
• 10:21
  dramatic
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  difficult
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  my
• 10:23
  mom
• 10:23
  just
• 10:23
  doesn't
• 10:23
  get
• 10:24
  me.
• 10:25
  But
• 10:25
  that's
• 10:25
  not
• 10:25
  the
• 10:26
  story
• 10:26
  she
• 10:26
  told.
• 10:27
  The
• 10:27
  story
• 10:27
  she
• 10:27
  told
• 10:27
  was
• 10:28
  we
• 10:28
  had
• 10:28
  a
• 10:28
  great
• 10:28
  time
• 10:28
  with
• 10:29
  the
• 10:29
  people
• 10:29
  who
• 10:29
  matter.
• 10:30
  Both
• 10:31
  stories
• 10:31
  could
• 10:31
  be
• 10:31
  true.
• 10:32
  But
• 10:32
  one
• 10:33
  of
• 10:33
  these
• 10:33
  stories
• 10:34
  kept
• 10:34
  her
• 10:34
  free.
• 10:35
  The
• 10:35
  truth
• 10:36
  is,
• 10:36
  is
• 10:36
  that
• 10:36
  when
• 10:37
  we
• 10:37
  are
• 10:38
  telling
• 10:38
  the
• 10:38
  story
• 10:39
  of
• 10:39
  ourselves,
• 10:40
  of
• 10:40
  our
• 10:41
  lives,
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  what
• 10:41
  we've
• 10:42
  experienced,
• 10:43
  we
• 10:44
  must
• 10:44
  have
• 10:44
  discipline.
• 10:45
  Not
• 10:46
  discipline
• 10:46
  in
• 10:46
  what
• 10:46
  we
• 10:47
  do
• 10:47
  and
• 10:47
  what
• 10:47
  we
• 10:47
  don't
• 10:48
  do,
• 10:48
  but
• 10:48
  discipline
• 10:50
  in
• 10:50
  what
• 10:50
  we
• 10:51
  think.
• 10:52
  We
• 10:52
  want
• 10:53
  to
• 10:53
  be
• 10:53
  disciplined
• 10:54
  about
• 10:54
  the
• 10:55
  roads
• 10:55
  that
• 10:55
  we
• 10:55
  let
• 10:56
  our
• 10:56
  brain
• 10:56
  walk
• 10:57
  down.
• 10:58
  If
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  allow
• 10:59
  your
• 10:59
  brain
• 10:59
  to
• 11:00
  perpetually
• 11:00
  go
• 11:01
  down
• 11:01
  the
• 11:01
  road
• 11:01
  of
• 11:02
  these
• 11:02
  people
• 11:03
  don't
• 11:03
  get
• 11:03
  me.
• 11:03
  These
• 11:03
  people
• 11:04
  don't
• 11:04
  like
• 11:04
  me,
• 11:04
  these
• 11:04
  people
• 11:05
  don't
• 11:05
  appreciate
• 11:05
  me.
• 11:05
  There's
• 11:06
  a
• 11:06
  problem
• 11:06
  with
• 11:06
  these
• 11:06
  people.
• 11:07
  It
• 11:08
  will
• 11:08
  create
• 11:08
  emotions
• 11:09
  for
• 11:09
  you
• 11:10
  that
• 11:10
  will
• 11:10
  make
• 11:10
  you
• 11:10
  feel
• 11:11
  frustrated,
• 11:13
  it
• 11:13
  will
• 11:13
  make
• 11:13
  you
• 11:13
  feel
• 11:14
  angry,
• 11:15
  it
• 11:15
  will
• 11:15
  make
• 11:16
  you
• 11:16
  feel
• 11:16
  resentful.
• 11:18
  When
• 11:18
  you
• 11:18
  feel
• 11:18
  those
• 11:19
  emotions,
• 11:19
  the
• 11:19
  actions
• 11:20
  you
• 11:20
  take
• 11:21
  will
• 11:21
  be
• 11:22
  the
• 11:22
  ones
• 11:23
  you
• 11:23
  don't
• 11:23
  want
• 11:23
  to
• 11:23
  be
• 11:23
  taking.
• 11:24
  They
• 11:24
  will
• 11:25
  also
• 11:25
  devolve
• 11:27
  for
• 11:27
  you
• 11:27
  internally
• 11:28
  because
• 11:28
  you
• 11:29
  will
• 11:29
  then
• 11:29
  have
• 11:29
  the
• 11:29
  dissonance
• 11:30
  of,
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  didn't
• 11:31
  show
• 11:31
  up
• 11:31
  the
• 11:31
  way
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  wanted
• 11:32
  to
• 11:32
  show
• 11:32
  up.
• 11:33
  Why
• 11:33
  do
• 11:33
  I
• 11:33
  always
• 11:33
  react?
• 11:34
  Why
• 11:34
  Do
• 11:34
  I
• 11:34
  always
• 11:35
  engage?
• 11:35
  Why
• 11:35
  do
• 11:35
  I
• 11:36
  let
• 11:36
  this
• 11:36
  happen?
• 11:37
  It's
• 11:37
  the
• 11:37
  wrong
• 11:38
  place
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  focus
• 11:39
  versus
• 11:40
  I
• 11:40
  belong
• 11:40
  here.
• 11:41
  There's
• 11:42
  not
• 11:42
  a
• 11:42
  problem
• 11:42
  here.
• 11:43
  This
• 11:43
  can
• 11:44
  be
• 11:44
  a
• 11:44
  great
• 11:44
  weekend.
• 11:45
  People
• 11:46
  like
• 11:46
  me,
• 11:47
  people
• 11:47
  want
• 11:47
  me
• 11:47
  to
• 11:48
  be
• 11:48
  here.
• 11:49
  I
• 11:49
  have
• 11:49
  my
• 11:49
  own
• 11:50
  back.
• 11:50
  I
• 11:51
  tell
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  story
• 11:51
  of
• 11:51
  me
• 11:52
  and
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  assume
• 11:52
  everybody
• 11:53
  else
• 11:53
  wants
• 11:53
  to
• 11:54
  know
• 11:54
  that
• 11:54
  story.
• 11:55
  This
• 11:55
  is
• 11:55
  a
• 11:55
  very
• 11:55
  high
• 11:56
  level
• 11:56
  coaching
• 11:57
  concept,
• 11:58
  all
• 11:59
  right?
• 12:00
  Learning
• 12:00
  how
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  be
• 12:01
  disciplined
• 12:01
  in
• 12:02
  how
• 12:02
  you
• 12:02
  think
• 12:02
  about
• 12:02
  these
• 12:03
  things
• 12:03
  will
• 12:03
  allow
• 12:04
  you
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  show
• 12:04
  up
• 12:05
  in
• 12:05
  a
• 12:05
  much
• 12:05
  different
• 12:06
  way.
• 12:06
  It
• 12:07
  will
• 12:07
  create
• 12:07
  a
• 12:07
  much
• 12:07
  different
• 12:08
  vibe
• 12:08
  in
• 12:09
  these
• 12:09
  scenarios.
• 12:09
  It
• 12:10
  will
• 12:10
  allow
• 12:10
  for
• 12:11
  you
• 12:11
  to
• 12:11
  have
• 12:12
  a
• 12:12
  totally
• 12:13
  different
• 12:13
  experience
• 12:14
  with
• 12:15
  everybody
• 12:15
  else
• 12:15
  not
• 12:16
  needing
• 12:16
  to
• 12:16
  be
• 12:16
  different
• 12:16
  at
• 12:17
  all.
• 12:17
  And
• 12:17
  you
• 12:18
  get
• 12:18
  to
• 12:18
  walk
• 12:18
  through
• 12:19
  that
• 12:19
  experience
• 12:19
  feeling
• 12:20
  proud
• 12:20
  of
• 12:20
  yourself.
• 12:21
  You
• 12:22
  get
• 12:22
  to
• 12:22
  take
• 12:23
  the
• 12:23
  nuggets
• 12:24
  that
• 12:24
  were
• 12:24
  there,
• 12:24
  that
• 12:24
  were
• 12:25
  for
• 12:25
  you,
• 12:26
  and
• 12:26
  leave
• 12:26
  the
• 12:26
  rest
• 12:26
  behind.
• 12:27
  You're
• 12:27
  not
• 12:27
  arguing,
• 12:28
  you're
• 12:28
  not
• 12:28
  defending,
• 12:29
  you're
• 12:29
  not
• 12:29
  trying
• 12:29
  to
• 12:31
  change
• 12:31
  the
• 12:31
  way
• 12:31
  that
• 12:31
  people
• 12:32
  see
• 12:32
  you,
• 12:32
  affect
• 12:33
  your
• 12:33
  reputation.
• 12:34
  You
• 12:34
  don't
• 12:35
  need
• 12:35
  that.
• 12:36
  You
• 12:36
  need
• 12:36
  to
• 12:36
  decide
• 12:37
  what
• 12:37
  you're
• 12:37
  going
• 12:37
  to
• 12:37
  think
• 12:37
  about
• 12:38
  you.
• 12:38
  As
• 12:39
  I
• 12:39
  said
• 12:39
  before,
• 12:40
  this
• 12:40
  isn't
• 12:40
  really
• 12:41
  about
• 12:41
  you
• 12:42
  being
• 12:42
  perfect.
• 12:44
  It's
• 12:44
  about
• 12:44
  learning
• 12:45
  how
• 12:45
  to
• 12:46
  interrupt
• 12:46
  the
• 12:46
  pattern.
• 12:48
  So
• 12:48
  when
• 12:48
  this
• 12:48
  is
• 12:49
  all
• 12:49
  going
• 12:49
  on,
• 12:50
  we've
• 12:50
  got
• 12:50
  to
• 12:50
  make
• 12:50
  sure
• 12:51
  that
• 12:51
  we're
• 12:51
  allowing
• 12:51
  emotion,
• 12:52
  right?
• 12:53
  We
• 12:53
  gotta
• 12:53
  learn
• 12:53
  how
• 12:53
  to
• 12:54
  let
• 12:54
  waves
• 12:54
  of
• 12:54
  emotion
• 12:55
  pass
• 12:55
  through
• 12:55
  with
• 12:55
  doing
• 12:55
  nothing.
• 12:56
  We
• 12:56
  need
• 12:57
  to
• 12:57
  understand
• 12:57
  how
• 12:58
  to
• 12:58
  regulate
• 12:58
  our
• 12:58
  nervous
• 12:59
  system
• 12:59
  before
• 12:59
  we
• 12:59
  respond
• 13:00
  to
• 13:00
  anything.
• 13:00
  We
• 13:01
  need
• 13:01
  to
• 13:01
  have
• 13:01
  nervous
• 13:02
  system
• 13:02
  regulation
• 13:03
  in
• 13:04
  our
• 13:04
  weekend,
• 13:04
  before
• 13:05
  our
• 13:05
  weekend,
• 13:06
  after
• 13:06
  our
• 13:06
  weekend.
• 13:07
  And
• 13:08
  we
• 13:08
  need
• 13:08
  to
• 13:08
  rewire.
• 13:09
  We
• 13:09
  need
• 13:09
  to
• 13:10
  rewire
• 13:10
  ourselves
• 13:10
  to
• 13:11
  do
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  different
• 13:11
  thing,
• 13:12
  to
• 13:12
  think
• 13:12
  the
• 13:12
  different
• 13:13
  thing,
• 13:13
  to
• 13:14
  believe
• 13:14
  the
• 13:14
  different
• 13:14
  thing,
• 13:15
  to
• 13:15
  grab
• 13:16
  ahold
• 13:16
  of
• 13:16
  something
• 13:17
  that
• 13:17
  is
• 13:17
  essentially
• 13:18
  for
• 13:18
  us
• 13:18
  to
• 13:19
  believe
• 13:19
  the
• 13:19
  best
• 13:19
  in
• 13:20
  ourselves,
• 13:21
  to
• 13:21
  believe
• 13:21
  the
• 13:21
  best
• 13:21
  in
• 13:22
  other
• 13:22
  people,
• 13:22
  but
• 13:22
  also
• 13:23
  to
• 13:23
  stand
• 13:23
  up
• 13:23
  and
• 13:23
  say,
• 13:24
  that's
• 13:24
  your
• 13:25
  problem
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  figure
• 13:26
  out.
• 13:26
  My
• 13:26
  problem
• 13:27
  to
• 13:27
  figure
• 13:27
  out
• 13:27
  is
• 13:27
  how
• 13:27
  to
• 13:28
  think
• 13:28
  about
• 13:28
  me.
• 13:29
  Your
• 13:29
  problem
• 13:29
  to
• 13:29
  figure
• 13:30
  out
• 13:30
  is
• 13:30
  why
• 13:30
  you
• 13:30
  want
• 13:30
  to
• 13:31
  think
• 13:31
  shit
• 13:31
  about
• 13:31
  me.
• 13:32
  You
• 13:32
  get
• 13:32
  to
• 13:33
  decide,
• 13:33
  I
• 13:33
  don't
• 13:34
  need
• 13:34
  to
• 13:34
  fix
• 13:34
  that
• 13:34
  for
• 13:34
  you.
• 13:35
  This
• 13:35
  isn't
• 13:36
  even
• 13:36
  necessarily
• 13:36
  something
• 13:37
  you
• 13:37
  have
• 13:37
  to
• 13:37
  say
• 13:37
  out
• 13:37
  loud.
• 13:38
  It's
• 13:38
  just
• 13:38
  something
• 13:38
  that
• 13:39
  you
• 13:39
  need
• 13:39
  to
• 13:39
  own.
• 13:40
  You're
• 13:40
  not
• 13:41
  going
• 13:42
  to
• 13:42
  fix
• 13:43
  your
• 13:43
  family
• 13:43
  this
• 13:43
  summer.
• 13:44
  That's
• 13:45
  just
• 13:45
  not
• 13:45
  possible.
• 13:46
  You
• 13:46
  can't
• 13:46
  do
• 13:47
  that.
• 13:47
  But
• 13:48
  what
• 13:48
  you
• 13:48
  can
• 13:48
  do
• 13:49
  is
• 13:49
  you
• 13:49
  can
• 13:49
  arrive
• 13:49
  regulated.
• 13:51
  You
• 13:51
  can
• 13:51
  choose
• 13:52
  to
• 13:52
  do
• 13:52
  what
• 13:52
  you
• 13:53
  do
• 13:54
  differently.
• 13:54
  You
• 13:55
  can
• 13:55
  choose
• 13:55
  to
• 13:55
  have
• 13:56
  your
• 13:56
  own
• 13:56
  back.
• 13:56
  You
• 13:56
  can
• 13:57
  choose
• 13:57
  to
• 13:57
  be
• 13:57
  the
• 13:57
  person
• 13:58
  that
• 13:58
  believes
• 13:59
  the
• 13:59
  best
• 13:59
  in
• 13:59
  an
• 14:00
  experience
• 14:00
  unless
• 14:00
  you
• 14:01
  are
• 14:01
  given
• 14:01
  direct
• 14:02
  evidence
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  prove
• 14:03
  otherwise.
• 14:04
  You
• 14:04
  can
• 14:04
  decide
• 14:05
  who
• 14:05
  you're
• 14:05
  going
• 14:05
  to
• 14:06
  be
• 14:06
  before
• 14:06
  you
• 14:06
  walk
• 14:06
  in
• 14:07
  the
• 14:07
  door.
• 14:07
  It's
• 14:07
  going
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  change
• 14:08
  your
• 14:08
  whole
• 14:08
  summer.
• 14:09
  It's
• 14:09
  going
• 14:09
  to
• 14:09
  change
• 14:10
  every
• 14:10
  event.
• 14:10
  It's
• 14:11
  going
• 14:11
  to
• 14:11
  make
• 14:11
  everything
• 14:11
  easier.
• 14:12
  It's
• 14:12
  going
• 14:12
  to
• 14:12
  make
• 14:12
  everything
• 14:13
  better.
• 14:14
  So
• 14:15
  if
• 14:15
  you
• 14:15
  are
• 14:16
  interested
• 14:17
  in
• 14:17
  learning
• 14:18
  more
• 14:18
  about
• 14:18
  this,
• 14:18
  I
• 14:19
  want
• 14:19
  you
• 14:19
  to
• 14:19
  know
• 14:19
  I'm
• 14:20
  teaching
• 14:20
  a
• 14:20
  class
• 14:21
  on
• 14:21
  this
• 14:21
  inside
• 14:22
  of
• 14:22
  my
• 14:22
  coaching
• 14:22
  program.
• 14:23
  I'm
• 14:23
  teaching
• 14:24
  it
• 14:24
  in
• 14:25
  about
• 14:25
  a
• 14:25
  week.
• 14:26
  And
• 14:26
  if
• 14:26
  you
• 14:27
  want
• 14:27
  access
• 14:27
  to
• 14:28
  that
• 14:28
  class,
• 14:28
  the
• 14:28
  way
• 14:28
  that
• 14:29
  you
• 14:29
  can
• 14:29
  get
• 14:29
  it
• 14:29
  is
• 14:29
  by
• 14:30
  becoming
• 14:30
  one
• 14:30
  of
• 14:30
  my
• 14:30
  one
• 14:31
  to
• 14:31
  one
• 14:31
  clients.
• 14:32
  My
• 14:32
  one
• 14:32
  to
• 14:33
  one
• 14:33
  clients
• 14:33
  get
• 14:33
  all
• 14:34
  of
• 14:34
  the
• 14:34
  classes
• 14:35
  that
• 14:35
  I
• 14:35
  do
• 14:36
  and
• 14:36
  they
• 14:36
  have
• 14:36
  the
• 14:36
  opportunity
• 14:37
  to
• 14:37
  come
• 14:37
  live
• 14:38
  to
• 14:38
  every
• 14:38
  single
• 14:38
  class
• 14:39
  that
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  do
• 14:39
  every
• 14:39
  single
• 14:40
  month.
• 14:41
  So
• 14:41
  if
• 14:41
  you
• 14:41
  are
• 14:42
  curious
• 14:42
  about
• 14:42
  that,
• 14:43
  if
• 14:43
  you
• 14:43
  want
• 14:43
  that,
• 14:43
  you
• 14:44
  should
• 14:44
  book
• 14:44
  a
• 14:44
  discovery
• 14:45
  call.
• 14:45
  If
• 14:45
  you
• 14:46
  go
• 14:46
  to
• 14:47
  amandahest
• 14:48
  Ca
• 14:50
  bookacall,
• 14:52
  you
• 14:52
  can
• 14:52
  book
• 14:52
  a
• 14:52
  discovery
• 14:53
  session.
• 14:53
  We
• 14:54
  can
• 14:54
  talk
• 14:54
  about
• 14:54
  you,
• 14:55
  what's
• 14:55
  going
• 14:55
  on
• 14:55
  for
• 14:56
  you.
• 14:56
  We
• 14:56
  can
• 14:56
  talk
• 14:56
  about
• 14:56
  what's
• 14:57
  going
• 14:57
  on
• 14:57
  in
• 14:57
  your
• 14:57
  family
• 14:57
  events
• 14:58
  this
• 14:58
  summer.
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  will
• 14:59
  help
• 15:00
  you
• 15:00
  see
• 15:00
  where
• 15:01
  you
• 15:01
  can
• 15:01
  create
• 15:02
  some
• 15:02
  serious
• 15:02
  change
• 15:03
  with
• 15:03
  everybody
• 15:04
  else
• 15:04
  not
• 15:04
  having
• 15:04
  to
• 15:04
  be
• 15:05
  different.
• 15:05
  And
• 15:06
  we
• 15:06
  can
• 15:06
  talk
• 15:06
  about
• 15:06
  whether
• 15:06
  or
• 15:06
  not
• 15:06
  coaching
• 15:07
  would
• 15:07
  be
• 15:07
  a
• 15:07
  good
• 15:07
  fit.
• 15:08
  And
• 15:08
  at
• 15:09
  the
• 15:09
  same
• 15:09
  time,
• 15:09
  if
• 15:09
  you
• 15:10
  decide
• 15:10
  to
• 15:10
  go
• 15:10
  forward
• 15:10
  with
• 15:11
  coaching,
• 15:11
  you
• 15:12
  get
• 15:12
  this
• 15:12
  class
• 15:12
  included.
• 15:13
  All
• 15:13
  right,
• 15:13
  my
• 15:14
  friends,
• 15:14
  this
• 15:14
  is
• 15:14
  what
• 15:14
  I've
• 15:15
  got
• 15:15
  for
• 15:15
  you.
• 15:16
  I
• 15:16
  hope
• 15:16
  you
• 15:16
  have
• 15:17
  a
• 15:17
  beautiful
• 15:17
  week
• 15:18
  and
• 15:18
  I
• 15:18
  would
• 15:19
  love
• 15:19
  to
• 15:19
  see
• 15:19
  you
• 15:19
  on
• 15:19
  that
• 15:19
  call.
• 15:20
  Bye
• 15:20
  for
• 15:20
  now.
• 15:23
  Thanks
• 15:23
  so
• 15:23
  much
• 15:24
  for
• 15:24
  listening
• 15:24
  today.
• 15:25
  If
• 15:25
  this
• 15:26
  podcast
• 15:26
  is
• 15:26
  helping
• 15:26
  you,
• 15:27
  please
• 15:27
  follow
• 15:27
  wherever
• 15:28
  you
• 15:28
  listen
• 15:29
  and
• 15:29
  consider
• 15:29
  leaving
• 15:30
  a
• 15:30
  review.
• 15:30
  It
• 15:31
  truly
• 15:31
  helps
• 15:31
  this
• 15:32
  community
• 15:32
  grow
• 15:32
  and
• 15:33
  allows
• 15:33
  me
• 15:33
  to
• 15:33
  support
• 15:34
  more
• 15:34
  women
• 15:35
  like
• 15:35
  you.
• 15:36
  I'm
• 15:37
  excited
• 15:37
  to
• 15:37
  see
• 15:37
  you
• 15:38
  back
• 15:38
  here
• 15:38
  next
• 15:38
  week
• 15:38
  with
• 15:39
  a
• 15:39
  brand
• 15:39
  new
• 15:39
  episode.
• 15:40
  Until
• 15:41
  then,
• 15:41
  take
• 15:42
  care,
• 15:42
  friend.