Latest / The Consistency Warm-Up: Prime Your Brain for Your Most Consistent Year Yet / Warmup 3: The biggest enemy of consistency [Week 2]

Transcript

Warmup 3: The biggest enemy of consistency [Week 2] · The Consistency Warm-Up: Prime Your Brain for Your Most Consistent Year Yet

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we're gonna talk about the biggest enemy to consistency.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that last week we also talked about how attitude can be an enemy of consistency, but I want to get even more specific this week because as you go through this process of getting consistent, now you've gone through your first weekend after absorbing some of this material, you're coming into week two.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And week two and week three is usually when people start to give up.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, you know what, this isn't gonna work for me.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is harder than I expected.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I it's it's not the right time of year.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to share a visualization with you before you decide that you're gonna give up.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to imagine, look down at your clothes and see what you're wearing right now.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then close your eyes and imagine that you, as you are today, is sitting across the table from a board of advisors.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: There are two people currently on that board of advisors.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I call one of them Buttoned Up Britney.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I call the other one F it Fiona.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna say the F-word just in case you're listening with any kiddos around.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And these two women are your current board of advisors.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: They are the ones who are calling the shots.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like, hey, I'm not where I want to be yet.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not consistent yet.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I need a different version of me to be calling the shots.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And these are the two versions that you have created.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe after I explain exactly what these two versions are saying and doing, you actually want to come up with your own name for them.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe Buttoned Up Brittany and F it Fiona aren't the ones for you.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe a part of this week, actually, I'm gonna say that.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Come into our chat after you listen to this and give me the name of your two people.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to really name them because when we can see these beings in our brain as outside of who we are and more about this other thing that exists, it's gonna give you a lot more confidence and clarity in not letting them call all the shots.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: But back to our visualization.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're sitting here as you are today with Button Up Brittany and F at Fiona.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And both of them are stressed.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: They are high strung, they are urgent, and they both want one thing: relief.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: They want relief from uncertainty.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of times when we talk about getting what we want, losing weight or getting stronger, there's a lot of dialogue around being uncomfortable and doing hard things.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: The hardest part about getting where we want to go is not actually the discomfort.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The hardest part is the uncertainty.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: You have never gotten there before.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you have gotten there before, it didn't stick.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So your brain isn't actually worried about the hard.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know you can do hard things.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I know every single one of you in this group is capable of hard things.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: You like doing hard things.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are a high achiever, naturally.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hard things do not scare you.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what scares you?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not knowing what's gonna happen next.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not getting to be in control of the situation, not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring and if you are going to be able to be strong enough to withstand it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, buttoned up Brittany, her approach to uncertainty is rules like no sugar, no carbs, no food after 7 p.m.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: We walk at least 10,000 steps a day, you work out at least six days a week.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: She is so focused on the fact that if she can create enough guardrails, enough guidance, enough rules, then you can avoid uncertainty.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when you go to your board of directors and you are looking for support in what to do next, Brittany is always like, yes, we need more rules, more structure, because then we can be certain of what's gonna come next.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because your brain's like, well, of course, if I was gonna walk 10,000 steps a day and hit my macros perfectly and work out six days a week, there's no way I'm not gonna get to my goals.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like that feels so safe.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: That feels like it is beating uncertainty.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: But the problem with rules is they actually give us something to rebel against.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: They actually give us more decisions and more uncertainty instead of less.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: The more guidelines you are trying to follow, the more uncertainty you actually introduce because the question opens up of, am I going to do it?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Am I actually gonna get 10,000 steps a day?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Am I actually gonna work out six times this week?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Am I actually insert whatever you are telling yourself is the perfect rule?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you create more and more rules, which is what Britney is telling you is gonna make you feel so safe, it actually keeps you right where you are.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck, overwhelmed, feeling inconsistent, feeling uncertain.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have this other side of the coin.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Once you get really fed up with all the things that Britney's telling you to do, you're like, you know what?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Screw this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I deserve to eat whatever I want.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I deserve to have a good life.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I am working so hard.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this just isn't for me.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that is eff it Fiona.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: She is like, screw the rules, screw the fact that I'm not supposed to do this because I am trying my best and it's not good enough.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So why even keep going?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to get relief from the uncertainty of continuing.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you continue on any sort of process, when you continue doing the things that you haven't done before, there is uncertainty.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: What if it doesn't work?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: What if I try hard and it doesn't work?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: What if I try something new and it doesn't work?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: What if I put in six months of effort and six months from now, I'm not exactly where I want to be?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: How disappointing will that be?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: How frustrating will that be?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can I sit with that disappointment?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so Fiona is like, you know how we can avoid that disappointment uncertainty?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: We can give up.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's all we can do.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So every time you go to your board of advisors and you're in a pickle, those are the two options that you're getting.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So no wonder you feel stuck.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder you keep yo-yoing between getting extreme and locking in and then having these weekends and weeks of just like YOLO.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I want to invite you today to introduce a third person onto your board of advisors.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that person is you six months from now.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is the person that you dreamed up in our very first warm-up exercise.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And she is going to sit in between them.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to really close your eyes and see.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have you in your current clothes today, you have your version of Bunda Brittany, you have your version of F it Fiona, and they're like pacing the room.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's you six months from now sitting across the table from you, and she's calm.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: She is peaceful, she is confident.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: She knows everything that you've accomplished in the last six months.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: She is so proud of you.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: She is your biggest cheerleader.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: What she wants more than anything is for you to get to live inside the skin that she's in six months from now.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And next time you go to your board of advisors, next time you hit a rough spot.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you set your alarm for 5 a.m.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: You snoozed it three times, you wake up at 7 a.m.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have time to do your workout anymore.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of going to your board of advisors and only seeing Brittany, who's like, you need to set more alarms, you need to have a stricter routine, you need to hire a personal trainer because you had a personal trainer, then you wouldn't miss it.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have Fiona, who's like, it's crazy that you even want to work out in the morning.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: You shouldn't have to work out in the morning.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: You already worked so hard.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like working out in the morning is ridiculous.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You have you in the middle, six months from now, embodying all the traits that you know you are capable of and that you want.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And she is like, hey, what if you just took a walk this afternoon?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that would feel really good.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or hey, what if you asked your husband if he could watch the kids for 20 minutes this afternoon and you can get a workout in the basement?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: She's calm because she knows that it doesn't have to be perfect for you to get to where she is.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: She's seen it.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: She knows that there's gonna be bumps, she knows there's gonna be moments of like wanting to quit, but she kept going anyway, and she got to where she is now.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: So she isn't bothered, she isn't high strung, she is excited.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: She's excited for you to get to feel how good she does.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason that she belongs on your board of advisors is because listening to Brittany and listening to Fiona isn't gonna get you into her skin.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because both of them are gonna set you off on this path of avoiding uncertainty.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And what the you six months from now knows the most is that dealing with the uncertainty and continuing anyway is the only option.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because you haven't gotten there before.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You haven't been able to keep the weight off, maybe you haven't been able to work out three days a week for a whole year.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's just never something that you've done.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so your brain is like, I can't even compute that.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: But what she knows is that it's possible.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so she belongs on your board of advisors.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, I really want to encourage you to take a couple moments when you are feeling like you're in struggle, when you feel overwhelmed, when you feel unsure of the next step, and really imagine the board of advisors.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of just thinking about all these thoughts being correct, you know, we all have thoughts in our brain, and because we aren't used to challenging them, we just assume that they're right.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to instead ask yourself, who is saying this to me?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is it Button Up Britney?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it F it Fiona, or is it the me six months from now who is balanced and calm and wants the best for me?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you enjoyed this visualization, and I want you to come into the group and tell us if you have your own names for Brittany, Fiona, and you six months from now, or if you're just gonna roll with mine, because I think it is so helpful to give them names.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that you have a great rest of your week.