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You May be A Pillar of Salt · The Beth B Shift

• Beth B: So what if the thing that you feel or what if that thing that is your future isn't what's in front of you but maybe it's what's behind you? What if the thing that's stopping you, your future, isn't in front of you? What if it's what's behind you? What if you're not stuck because you can't move forward, but because part of you is still looking back? Today I want to talk about something that seems simple, but it's really not. It's the pillar of salt. And I know, I know, before you start on the pillar of salt, I'ma bring you up to speed, but I think that's prevalent. I think it's, it still makes waves. I it's still important. Even those old passage in the Bible, ⁓ I really feel like, It's one we could probably look at. Because one glance backwards and she freezes. Now listen, before we judge her and before we say anything weird, right? Some of us have turned around a couple of times. Like, let's be honest. of us ⁓ have turned around and ⁓ slowed down and squinted a little and said, my God, did you just see how she just looked back? Or we probably would have been looking back saying, are we sure that's what's happening? and y'all know exactly what I mean. So before we jump to judgment, Let's ask ourselves, why would she do that? Matter of fact, let's ask the harder question. Have we done that? Have let something go? Will we still look back emotionally? Do we still look back physically? We walked away physically, but do we still look back? Do we still look back at the very thing that... We tried to break free from, but we still looked backwards. if we're honest, ⁓ some people have left a a situationship, circumstance. But y'all know we still be in our phones talking about, let me see what they doing. And you know good and well them thumbs be like, we can't move fast enough to get to the secret. We can't move fast enough to get to what's on the social medias or to see what, check the profiles to see what's going on. And when our brains be like, ⁓ I'm done. But let me check. And then we look back. And you know when you look back, that... It It hurts. What if very thing that's holding you back, what if the very thing ⁓ not allowing you to progress ⁓ the very thing that you keep looking back towards? ⁓ if ⁓ keep turning back when you're supposed to look forward? The Pillar of Salt What is it? Why did it happen? Why did she look back? Why couldn't she move forward? Why can't we move forward? What's holding us back? What are we looking back at? Welcome back to the Beth B effect with the vibas, unmuted, unafraid and unapologetic. I'm Beth. And ⁓ today we're to talk about the cost of looking back. Now let's ground this. Like. If you don't know the story, I'ma fill you in. Right? So ⁓ I'm sure all Bible scholars out there are going to be like, what? But here we are. There was a story in the Bible, right? Where Abraham was one of God's dudes. So having a conversation one day and God says to Abraham, listen, I'm about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah at the end of the day, ⁓ no, I'm dealing with So Abraham's like, But God, you can't destroy the city with good people in it. Like, are you really gonna destroy the city with people who are good and doing well and flourishing? And God was like, yeah, but none of those people exist. So Abraham's like, like for real? There has to be somebody that exists in a city that it's worth saving. So God's like, no. So Abraham's like, well, there has to be at least like 50. And God's like, no. Abraham goes, well, what about 45? God's like, no, 35? Abraham gets all the way down to 10 and God says, here what I'm do for you. I'm gonna get ⁓ family out. Your family, Lot, his wife and the two kids, ⁓ two daughters. I'll get them out safe and sound. But otherwise it's about to go down. Like I'm doing this anymore. Cause ⁓ you at the time Sodom and Gomorrah was really like, what's going on today? but I'm not gonna get into that. So at the end of the day, God sends two angels, the angels come down, they go to Lot's house, they get there, they knock on the they introduce themselves, they get in. soon as they step in, the ⁓ from the town come to the door and they're like, hey, ⁓ want them. So Lot's like, ⁓ want who? The men are like, ⁓ want them. Talking about the two angels. So now Lot's like, this can't happen because he knows who they are. He knows what they're there for. He knows that they're there to rescue him and his family. So Lot's like, no. You know, you can't have them, but you can have my two daughters. They're virgins. Like take them. That price has to be worth something. The men were like, no, we don't want them. We want them. So at that point the angel was like, yeah, bump this. Like we're rolling the body here. So they try to get this family out of the city and they give them one command, like one command. The command was don't look back. So as they're running out of the city, Lot's wife looks back. Like she looks back. before we judge her, right, I wanna ⁓ this because it's easy to say when we're coming from a bad situation that we can look forward, ⁓ easy to say that when we're in a tight situation or we ⁓ a reprieve, right, sometimes life releases a hold ⁓ us and we feel we have some kind of freedom. We feel like that freedom. is allowing us to be at large. But some way of doing that process... We look back. And the reason we look back is sometimes weird, right? It's not because we love what we see. It's not because miss what we had. It's because sometimes that thing that's back there, right, is familiar. Now most people read this story and they say to themselves, this is a punishment, right? Because she looked back. This is a punishment because she didn't listen and she didn't continue running without looking back. Because I don't think was curiosity, right? Not it wasn't just curiosity, it could have been curiosity. ⁓ I'm saying that it wasn't. But sometimes it could be attachment. Like think about attachment, right? Her body was leaving, but her heart wasn't. And let's be honest, a lot of people have left situations, but emotionally they still where they are. Emotionally, ⁓ they can't move ⁓ forward. They can't see forward. So that's what's important, right? I wanna talk about like why people look back, like why do we look back? What makes us turn around and look at the very thing that was hurting us? Why are we so attached to the things that make us, hold us bound, that precludes from moving forward? When ⁓ leave or when leave ⁓ environments that them, even the unhealthy ones, ⁓ that moment of hesitation. And not because they want to stay, but because everything is familiar. the brain, ⁓ the brain loves familiar. Even when familiar is a mess, like everything could towed up from flow up. But human beings were funny like that, right? Like ⁓ we can complain about something for and and years. This gets on my nerves, that gets on my nerves. ⁓ We pray, we ask God to remove it. ⁓ then when the moment finally comes and we're a part of us like ⁓ around like, Wait, free. That's happening. Wait, Is what I want? ⁓ Maybe need to back. Wait, I need to go back, maybe I'm like maybe ⁓ I moved too fast, I asked for the thing. ⁓ But soon as it starts happening, we either run back ⁓ or look back. and in that moment, The brain is wired to prefer what's familiar what's healthy. And feels like predictable, like ⁓ I the devil I know, right? No pun, but ⁓ feels Even if familiar the very thing that's been actually stressing us the heck out. Y'all know what I'm saying, like, not be weird. ⁓ of us leave something, we leave relationships, we leave environments, we leave a lifestyle. And that very moment, our mind to reconnect us to what we knew. like we're trying reorient ourselves, ⁓ right? And in moment... In that moment things could look like... Looking back, could look like ⁓ was wrong ⁓ not because things were good, because we knew it. Right? we go back to ⁓ Lot's wife. She looked back because was gonna miss the place or did she look back because it's what she knew? It's where she grew up, it's where she worked, it's where she ⁓ her children. It's ⁓ where ⁓ was ⁓ is she knew. It's what knew. Strangers show up. Maybe she was praying, the Bible doesn't tell us, but maybe she wanted out of there. Maybe she didn't like it. Maybe, we don't know. But the fact of the matter is she looked back. And sometimes we look back and we look back because what's ahead of us is unknown, it's scary. We're not sure. We're uncertain. and stepping into something new, That's where people start to become uncomfortable. Because freedom sounds great. Like you been like... You ever been in a relationship you say to yourself, ⁓ my God, I want out of this. Like this is horrible. This guy gets on my nerves or this girl gets on my nerves. I wish, ⁓ wish, I wish, I I wish, ⁓ I And your wish comes true. And then you're showing up home by yourself. come home from work with nobody to cook for, nobody to talk to, ⁓ to agitate you, nobody to on your nerves. ⁓ you start looking back and thinking to yourself, hmm, I shouldn't have done that. Maybe this freedom doesn't look so good. And not it's not, right? Let's be clear. Not that freedom doesn't look good because some situations do need to end. Some situations are not good for us. Some situations need to be where they are. ⁓ Some situations need to walk away from. But we have to be mindful and ready enter into uncharted territory. because let's talk about what looking back really, really means. Looking back just isn't physical. Looking back is emotional, mental, spiritual. And sometimes it can sound like, I know that was toxic, but... You know that sentence was about to go wrong the moment it started with I know it was toxic and then ends with but. Like, let's be honest, that butt gotten a lot of people in trouble. And I know it's unhealthy, bud. know it stressed me out, bud. I know it almost ruined my peace, bud. Like, Irma, you know ⁓ what them mean. ⁓ But that word has convinced people ⁓ reopen doors. They ⁓ work so hard close. And y'all know what I mean. And then let's think about this, right? That freezing effect. The Bible says that she became a pillar of salt. What does salt do? It preserves. freezes things in time. ⁓ stops growth. And if the soil becomes too salty, ⁓ what happens? Nothing will grow there. So in that instance, like looking back for us, preserves pain. Looking preserves attachment. Looking back could even preserve like a trauma bond. You don't move. don't grow. You I don't know exactly what that looks like. some of us even think we're stuck. But sometimes we're not stuck. not stuck. We're preserved. in the moment. preserved in a moment that we ⁓ ⁓ emotionally. Now let's talk about modern day pillars of salt. Like, let's make it real, right? Like, let's make it real. Let's look and see what it really looks like today, right? Because we know what she looked like, because rumor has it, you can go to where that pillar of salt is, find it, and it's still standing there. And that's something to hear. And whether you believe it or not, right? because everybody doesn't have to partake in the Bible sayings. Everybody does not have to take the Bible as a holy book. Everybody doesn't have to believe the scriptures that are there or that the words in the Bible were inspired by God. at the end of the day, some of this stuff can be proven, right? And what I love most, I love evidence. love evidence because evidence tells the solid truth. ⁓ is something that you can look at, go back to, ⁓ and based on the observation, you can make a profound hypothesis or a good decision or you can ground decision making in that evidence that information. ⁓ So love evidence. ⁓ I walk away without it. But back to the modern day Pulitzer's salt, what does it look like back ⁓ a relationship that broke you? Checking someone's page when you know it's gonna disturb your peace. what? Why would I do that? mean, but we do. Because you already know what you're about to see, Because you're the pillar of salt, you're stuck in your place, you can't move on because the love that you have really burning inside. Maybe you made the wrong choice, maybe they aren't good for your health or even if they aren't, maybe it just is what it is and this is the life I'm supposed to live. you know. Like some people, some of us rather chaos, but what we know. Chaos what we know. It's what we study and become to learn. It gives instructions on how to be, who to be and how to manage. and more importantly, chaos comes with instruction. You already how the argument's gonna go. You already know cycle. Like, is predictable. And sad to say that's... that's somehow sometimes easier to manage. And what makes different from healing is ⁓ doesn't come with a script. Like gotta figure that ⁓ out. gotta figure it out. You gotta ⁓ figure out. You gotta figure it out as you go. Each day, instant, each moment, it's like moment to moment. You have to figure it out. ⁓ Nothing, nothing is edged stone. And it's so ⁓ from what you know to be true is so different from what you have as ⁓ health. It's different. It doesn't feel the same. It doesn't look the same. It doesn't walk the same. It doesn't talk the same. It doesn't react the same. if you ever run into someone that loves you. If you ever run into anything that back into you, you'll able to see the dysfunction. ⁓ But for another episode because we got get into pouring and pouring and being poured into because all this pouring emptying us out and not being like refilled, not being giving back to there's no reciprocation, that's exhausting. again, that's for another episode, there was a time in my life when left something, but emotionally I hadn't. told people I was done, I told myself I was done, but I still replayed it. I it over and over and over in my head. Like my brain a subscription to the past. And the worst part is all the episodes in my head were on repeat. Like I remembered everything that broke me, everything that made me feel like I wasn't worthy, everything that made me feel like I didn't deserve anything. I remembered all that. I remembered the words, I remembered the brokenness, I remembered the dysfunction. I remembered everything. I remembered the levels of immaturity that I had to overcome. Where I had to be the bigger person, which was quite often. I remembered all those things. Those same memories, same conversations, and those same situations already over, but they just kept playing in my head. And then eventually I that ⁓ instruction wasn't just to leave, ⁓ ⁓ I knew ⁓ those things were unhealthy for me at the time. ⁓ I knew that those things were unhealthy for me at the time and I knew the only option was to leave, was to get out of there not look back. And even later in the Bible, Jesus even referenced when he's talking to his boys at some point, he's like, remember Lot's wife, and that's all he said. And in that moment, that helps remind us that. Don't be like... When it's time to go, it's time to go. Like, that's it. He only said those three words. sermon, no explanation. ⁓ basically him just saying, ⁓ already know the story, like, don't back. because sometimes the biggest obstacle in our future not what's ahead of us, right? It's what we keep turning around to look at. That's always the problem. can't just look forward and keep moving because we are. human nature. always have to look back. And looking back wouldn't be a bad thing, right? Because sometimes we need to look back ⁓ remember where we came from so we can continue pushing forward. but we can't become like a pillar salt. ⁓ can't get stuck ⁓ the moment. We can't stay where we are. We can't ⁓ stagnant and not move forward. If know something was unhealthy for us and it was toxic and we need to get out of there, we need to move forward. Yeah, sneak back if you need to, but keep it moving. ⁓ We keep it pushing. And sometimes we're our biggest advocate, right? We have to tell ourselves, can do this. You move forward. Believe in Like I said, some people think the Pillow of Salt was a story about punishment, but I think it was about attachment. attachment is serious. Attachment real serious. We don't realize how attached we are to something. You ever had a car? that you really, really liked. Maybe it was your first car. had boyfriend or a spouse that you really liked. Girl, you ever had a pair of shoes that you really, really like? And you go, what are these shoes? I used to have a pair of pumps that I loved to death. Like I loved it to death. For real, for real. And you know what I did? Cause I had the heel repaired three, four times. But these were my favorite pair of shoes. I love dancing. And I think I told you all this before, but I love dancing. I can spin on a pump with no problem and with extreme ease. there was one pair of shoes that I could do this on whether I ⁓ good or not, ⁓ Depending on where I was. And could spin in those shoes forever. Sometimes wear even if they didn't even match my outfit. I would wear those I would wear the shoes everywhere I went. house party if I thought it was going to be a dance floor, club if I thought it was going to be a dance floor. and sometimes if they match my black dress, I want church. But those were my shoes I loved them. Even design, the pattern on them. I love- But one day I had the shoes repaired the repairman said, know, I repaired these so times and this time you've ripped the skin off the heel. This is soft leather and I probably won't be to match it. ⁓ it's to be discolored. Would you mind ⁓ if changed the leather on the ⁓ posts? of both shoes and repair the heel. first I was like, yeah, because then I get to keep my shoes and I get to keep my dance. I to keep spinning and I get to keep my shoes. but he did it. when I looked at the shoe, it wasn't the same. was different. I paid all that money to get those shoes repaired and get the heel redone. but I knew it was time to park company and I couldn't give the shoes away because as weird as this sounds, I had worn the shoes so much. The insole of the shoe wasn't something that I could just give away. Cause I didn't want the next person to be like, then you wore these shoes to death. Cause I know I had. I couldn't pass those shoes on. ⁓ only option was to throw them away. could have kept them what they looked like, but they didn't mean the same. It wasn't the same. It almost like a toxic situation. was forcing myself to love And I know this comparison might sound weird, but ⁓ just hear out. I loved my the new version of my shoe I did not like. ⁓ If I would kept them, I would have ⁓ forced myself to with them. ⁓ But that was attachment. It wasn't just the shoe I love, it was the attachment, the memories that I had with the shoe, the things, the capabilities, things I could do and where I went and where I've been and pictures. There were so many different attachments to the shoe and as simple as this may sound, of us ⁓ the same thing with real life situations, people, places, things, ⁓ situations we know we need to walk away from but we don't. don't and why? Because ⁓ don't walk away from because we're familiar with it. We don't walk away and even when it changes right even when it changes even ⁓ when you get relationship with the person ⁓ and they're the thing is pie. ⁓ They're sweetest thing then they change. They're not the same. talk different. They walk different. They text different. They show different. The representative takes a break you never see him again. You know it's time. know it's time. but because that person looks the same. They don't feel the same, but it looks the same. are closed and dim to what's really in front of you. Sometimes that job that pays you the grand old ⁓ you know it's time to go. You're unhappy with it. It doesn't feel the same. You don't show up the same. Those the toxic situations that ⁓ we into and that attachment, right? The very moment we say, ⁓ okay, going to get out of this. I'm unhappy here. I'm not, I can't move forward. ⁓ I'm I'm not going to progress. What do do? Just as we're inching out the door, just as we're looking to make a change, just as we're looking forward. to go into a better situation, we look back. And then when we do, what do we see? become empathetic for the very thing that hurt us. We empathetic for the very thing that's already let us go. But we can't let it go because we're attached. So always be mindful if something had to end, it end. If had to be removed, let it removed. And if you're moving forward, like keep your eyes forward sometimes the only thing separating you from is that look ⁓ back. This been the Beth Bee effect. And until next time, stay