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My New Husband Had $40k of Secret Debt. I Paid It, Then He Divorced Me. · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name's Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
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  Speaker 1: and I'm here to acknowledge country t glennyan Ganya, Niana,
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  Speaker 1: kaka ya Ya beIN ah Waka Nian our gay In Mbina,
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  Speaker 1: yakarum jar Dominyama, Domaga Ithawakaman, damon Imlan bomber bang Gadabomba
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  Speaker 1: in and now in wakah ghana on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello,
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  Speaker 1: beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: We thank acknowledge and respect the Aberiginal people's land that
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  Speaker 1: we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
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  Speaker 1: and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
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  Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
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  Speaker 1: knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 2: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 4: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: that leeds v Pervy on other people's money habits for
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  Speaker 4: educational purposes. Of course, we are back to one of
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  Speaker 4: our money Dary episodes where I get the absolute privilege
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  Speaker 4: of talking to one of our beautiful community members all
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  Speaker 4: about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because this
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  Speaker 4: week I got a message and it sounded exactly like
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  Speaker 4: this dar, she's on the money. At thirty nine, I've
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  Speaker 4: lived about three different financial lives. I married my ex
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  Speaker 4: not knowing he had forty thousand dollars of secret debt,
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  Speaker 4: then worked two jobs to pay it off, only for
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  Speaker 4: him to divorce me. I bounced back, bought my own
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  Speaker 4: house solo. Then I met my now husband and his
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  Speaker 4: two gorgeous kids, sold my place, and together we bought
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  Speaker 4: our dream family home after eloping in Iceland. Money Diarist
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  Speaker 4: their second I read your bio. I was like, get
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: on the show, getting so much. That's like a special
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: type of chaos, but also just like so cool. But
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: also your first husband took advantage, Like what the heck?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, my current husband and I have a just a
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: small joke because he's also been married before. But our
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: small joke is and it's just between us. It's not
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  Speaker 2: for everyone, but we just say, we just say that
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  Speaker 2: first marriages are like pancakes. It's okay to throw the
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  Speaker 2: first one away.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fair. My mom's been divorced and then married
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  Speaker 4: my dad, and she said that it's always important to
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  Speaker 4: have a trial wedding. Yeah's a trial marriage because by
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: the second one she's like, you've really got it down.
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  Speaker 4: The one thing my mom said that she did wrong though,
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  Speaker 4: and again this is probably not for everybody, she said,
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  Speaker 4: I should have married for money the first time in
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  Speaker 4: love the second time, but she messed up and married
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  Speaker 4: for love both times. Yeah, And I was like, yeah, mum, yeah,
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  Speaker 4: you really messed that up because I could have been
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  Speaker 4: born into generational wealth, but I wasn't. Was I.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, yeah, that's a wish we all have,
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  Speaker 2: isn't it.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, So like they're like pancakes, you can throw it away,
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  Speaker 4: that's fine. And I like that you refer to your
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: husband as your current husband.
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  Speaker 2: Oh that's also another joke.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's what I call my husband because it
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  Speaker 4: just keeps him humble, keeps him on his toes. Like
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  Speaker 4: I have not been married multiple times. I've been married once,
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  Speaker 4: but you are currently my husband, like my current husband.
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  Speaker 4: I could get another one, like just watch out, Like, oh.
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  Speaker 2: Look, if I do go for husband number three, it's
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  Speaker 2: going to be for money. But I'm not getting rid
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  Speaker 2: of this one. This one's a good one, do you
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  Speaker 2: know what?
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  Speaker 4: Sorry TikTok the other day and it was this advice
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  Speaker 4: from this old woman. I'm pretty sure it was AI,
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  Speaker 4: but I don't care. And she said, don't marry for love,
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  Speaker 4: marry for money because when the love drives up, at
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  Speaker 4: least you'll be happy. And I was like, do you
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  Speaker 4: know what marriage advice from AI is perfect?
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  Speaker 2: Any advice from AI is not to be trusted.
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  Speaker 4: Though we know that, Oh we know that, but do
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  Speaker 4: you know what those things? I feel like you and
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  Speaker 4: I might have a very similar sense of humor, and
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  Speaker 4: I like that. But before we go any further, I
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  Speaker 4: have to ask you, Money direst, what grade would you
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  Speaker 4: give your money habits if I to give them a
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  Speaker 4: grade from A through to F.
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  Speaker 2: I think comfortably today, I want to give myself a B. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: I think I've taken some really good steps to compared
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  Speaker 2: to you know, marrying a man with debt and getting divorced. Like,
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  Speaker 2: I think I've taken some really good steps in my girl,
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  Speaker 2: you definitely have my past. Yeah, so I'm confident with
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  Speaker 2: a grade B today. No.
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  Speaker 4: I like that and I want to learn more about it.
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  Speaker 4: But it sounds like you've had an epic bounce back,
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  Speaker 4: like be so real. You went from your ex husband
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  Speaker 4: divorcing you because you worked too, Not because you did,
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  Speaker 4: but you worked two jobs, paid off this guy's debt,
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  Speaker 4: then got ditched for it one out of ten and
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  Speaker 4: then sorry, did you just get instant family? You went,
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  Speaker 4: you got a husband, he had two kids. You've gone
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  Speaker 4: and got married in Iceland. You have a beautiful dream
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  Speaker 4: home together. I'm sorry you upgraded. That's a good deal.
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  Speaker 2: Definitely upgraded. Definitely definitely upgraded. Yeah, it was actually insane.
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  Speaker 2: We got married and we all married for about a year,
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  Speaker 2: and that's when I then found out the forty thousand
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  Speaker 2: dollars worth of debt.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my god, how do you hide that from your
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  Speaker 4: literal wife?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know. And you know, maybe I want
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: to say I was young and naive, but I was
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  Speaker 2: thirty two, so I wasn't that young.
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  Speaker 4: No, you were still young. I'm sorry, so still young.
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  Speaker 4: You're just a baby.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe it should have been a red flag, but at
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  Speaker 2: the time, I was like, no, Okay, we can deal
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  Speaker 2: with this, or.
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  Speaker 4: We can justify anything to ourselves, like and I think
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  Speaker 4: that that's like a superpower and also our biggest downfall.
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  Speaker 4: But like we as human beings want to see the
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  Speaker 4: best in other people, like we want to so like,
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  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, you're already married to this bloke, Like of
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  Speaker 4: course you would have justified it and been like, oh,
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: you know what, he might have been really embarrassed by it.
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  Speaker 4: He didn't want to tell me, Like we will come
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: up with every excuse under the sun. And while it's
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: not acceptable, I think it's also just so relatable. There
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  Speaker 4: are going to be people listening to this that are like, oh,
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  Speaker 4: I shouldn't accept that, and it's like, well no, but
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  Speaker 4: also I get why you did.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that. I never want to compare husbands,
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  Speaker 2: but I guess the difference is that my current husband
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  Speaker 2: and I can have mature, comfortable financial conversations, whereas my
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  Speaker 2: ex husband, even after this, you know, revealing of the
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  Speaker 2: forty thousand dollars worth of debt, he still just never
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  Speaker 2: wanted to talk and take that appropriate steps. And so
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  Speaker 2: it wasn't the forty thousand dollars worth of debt that
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  Speaker 2: should have been the red flag. It was the inability
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  Speaker 2: to have a mature conversation. I think that's where I
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  Speaker 2: overlooked the red flag.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent. And you know what, sometimes red
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  Speaker 4: flags look like a carnival, and do you know what?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Women love carnivals?
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  Speaker 2: So stop.
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  Speaker 4: I just feel like I don't feel bad, But at
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  Speaker 4: the same time, I'm like, no, like I get it.
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  Speaker 4: So many of us, especially in retrospect, we go we
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  Speaker 4: didn't see the red flags, and like then we feel
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  Speaker 4: really silly for not having seen them, but like we're
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  Speaker 4: so good at contextualizing things and justifying things, and like,
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: you know, not leaving a relationship where maybe we should
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  Speaker 4: have because we're like no, surely, like I can see
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  Speaker 4: the best in people, or surely I can? Do you
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  Speaker 4: know more than that? So money diarist, I want to know.
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  Speaker 4: Tell me a bit more about your money story, Like
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  Speaker 4: where did it start.
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  Speaker 2: I grew up in a family. There were six of us,
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  Speaker 2: four kids, a mom and dad. I got my first
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  Speaker 2: job when I was thirteen.
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  Speaker 4: Very cool, very illegal.
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  Speaker 2: I love it, sweeping the floors of a hairdressing salon
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  Speaker 2: and making cups of tea.
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  Speaker 4: Do you know what I would have loved that job
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  Speaker 4: at thirteen.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, it was amazing.
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  Speaker 4: That would have been so good.
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  Speaker 2: I got five dollars an hour and I worked from
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  Speaker 2: nine till one on a Saturday, and I thought I
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  Speaker 2: was just raking in the money you were.
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  Speaker 4: I was a thirteen year old.
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  Speaker 2: I have blonde hair, and I have for my whole life,
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  Speaker 2: but I never had to pay to have my hair blonde,
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  Speaker 2: so that was also a very added bonus.
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  Speaker 4: That's a very good deal.
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  Speaker 2: So all your blonde is out there, try and get
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  Speaker 2: a side job at a hairdressing salon.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because you'll also be the model.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, I think so. And from there, I just always
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  Speaker 2: seemed to have two, sometimes three part time jobs while
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  Speaker 2: I was at school and university, and then I just
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  Speaker 2: sort of got into the mentality of it's like if
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  Speaker 2: I work with job number one to live, and then
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  Speaker 2: job number two that's my savings.
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  Speaker 4: I like this.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know where that mentality came from, but it
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  Speaker 2: came from somewhere. That was amazing because then in my twenties,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: my girlfriends and I just spent our whole twenties traveling.
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  Speaker 2: But I always had a travel fun because I had
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  Speaker 2: that second job.
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  Speaker 4: That's actually iconic, and I feel like that work ethic
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  Speaker 4: is actually relatively rare. So like, if we look back
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: a bit further, like getting your first job at thirteen, yeah,
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: you thought you were a baller, but like why were
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: you looking for employment at thirteen?
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  Speaker 2: I think I just probably wanted to honestly by myself
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: at Billabong t shirt.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah that's pretty sick. I really wanted the roxy pencil, okay,
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  Speaker 4: like the wet suit one with the dolphin.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, of course, I think that's probably it.
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  Speaker 2: And I think my mom was like, Okay, well, why
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: don't you try and get a babysitting job? And then
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I asked one mum of one of my brother's friends,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: and she was like, I don't need a babysitter, bot,
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  Speaker 2: I need someone to come sweep my salon. And then bang,
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  Speaker 2: I had a job.
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  Speaker 4: But she's been willing and dealing since thirteen. I love it,
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  Speaker 4: or sweeping and teaing, like I don't know how to
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  Speaker 4: make that fit, but I like it. So you got
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: this first job at thirteen, and I think I'm just
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: like a little bit enamored, like in a good way,
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: with this like mindset, because then you were like, Okay, cool,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: I'm always going to have like two jobs and I'm
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: going to work really hard. Is that something that's been
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: role modeled to you or was that just like a
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: I got my first job, I saw that I could
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: buy the bill of Bong t shirts. I really liked
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: the fact that I had that level of financial freedom
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: and wanted to keep it or like, well where do
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: you get that from? Because so many people they'll get
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: their first job and they'll be like, oh, this is
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: such a slog like oh I have to work ra rah,
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: but like your mentality feels different.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish that I had a click cut answer
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  Speaker 2: for you on that one. So I got the hairdressing
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  Speaker 2: job at thirteen, and then the second I turned fifteen,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I got a job at KFC.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: And wait, so free hair and chicken. Yes, this is
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: a good.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, free air and free nuggets. And then it just
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: kind of clicked like, oh, I didn't actually have to
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: quit the hairdressing job. I can just work both of them.
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  Speaker 2: I think during that time, like my parents got divorced
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: and like my mum had left our family unit and
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: it was just me and my brothers and my dad,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: and I think I kind of just saw that if
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I wanted to, you know, buy a car in the
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: next year or so, because I would have been old
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: enough to get my license, like I just had to
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: keep working to be able to buy it. Because I couldn't.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I couldn't ask my dad to do that for me.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So yeah, and I think I was surrounded. It sounds
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: so silly, doesn't it. I was surrounded at KFC by
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: other hard working females and we were all just hard
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: working together. And also it almost became a social gathering
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: that you wanted to go to work.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I get that totally. That was me and
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: my jobs. Like I feel like I went there obviously
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: to work, but also I just loved the social aspect
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  Speaker 4: of it.
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  Speaker 2: Well twenty five years later and some of those girls
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: have been at both my weddings. Oh I love that.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I love that so much. And do you
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: know what, I actually think a lot of people are
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I don't know. Whenever I have people on the show
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: and they're like, oh, I worked at McDonald's or I
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: worked at KFC, there seems to be this like hesitation
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: before you tell me, because you're like, oh, I worked
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: at macis or oh I worked at KC. Sorry. I
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: genuinely think that fast food is one of the best
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: jobs a young person can get because not only is
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: the pay reasonable like for your age, there's all these
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: social aspects, but most of these bigger fast food chains
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: have fantastic leadership programs, fantastic training. They fully engage you
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: in the process. It's not like, you know, at your
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: hairdressing job, which I'm sure was lots of fun as well,
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: you kind of just had your small tasks. It wasn't
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: really about the bigger picture. There wasn't like a line
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: of progression of like, okay, cool, you could move up
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: this career line, or you could do this training, whereas
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: like KC McDonald's and stuff like that, they provide that.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: The amount of people that I have hired into my business,
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: who I go, Oh, it makes sense you had that training.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: Like even my husband worked in fast food for more
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: than ten years while he was at UNI and whatnot.
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: I'm like, do you know how good he is at
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: like systems and processes and all of that stuff purely
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: because of his training through Hungry Jacks. By the way, Oh, lovely,
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: do you love Hungry Jacks? Same a whopper HiT's different.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: It's really underrated.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Oh I love Hungry Jacks. It's my favorite. If you
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: can survive, I'll say KFC. If you can survive working
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: at KFC on Mother's Day.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, you can do anything.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: A New Year's Day, you can survive anything. They were
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: the two craziest days of the year. And if you
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: can survive a ship there, like you are set for
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: life with stress management.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: New Year's Day, I fully got Mother's Day? Is that
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: like a big fast food day?
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Well? What I am talking? I worked there like in
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: the two thousand to two thousand and five, so we're
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: talking a long time ago. I don't know if people
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: still take their mums to KFC Mother's Day, but it
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: was extremely extremely popular. Never for Father's Day, always for
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Mother's Day.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: Okay, I see what's going on there. And we don't
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: even need to have a gendered conversation right now. Yeah,
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: that's okay. So money Doris, moving on from that? No, no, no, perfect,
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: but like I would go on a full gender pay
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: gap brand and you just don't need that from me
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: right now, because right now I want to know what
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: do you do for work and how much money do
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: you earn?
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I work as a midwife in the New South Wales public.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: I knew it. We were speaking beforehand and I was like,
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: this woman is too kind, Like she's so nice. I
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: can hear in her voice she's got a lot of empathy.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: You said you were working night shift and I said,
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: you can tell me about that later, like, don't spoil
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: it for me, and I was like, I reckon, she
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: works with babies. I am a champion.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I do. I work as a midwife. Yeah. For New
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: South Wales Health. The way we get paid is in
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: years since you've graduated university. So I'm currently in my
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: eighth year and that is the highest. What do we
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: earn per day, per week, per year. It's going to
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: change depending on what shifts you do, so that's a
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: little difficult to pinpoint the exact amount.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's rough. Do you have like a base salary
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: and then over time or how does that work?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Well? I can just say what I earned in the
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: last financial year was one hundred and thirty thousand.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, very nice.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: That will pick up over time regularly, so I might
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: do anywhere between twelve to sixteen hours of overtime a
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: full night extra.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: I love that so much. And I just know that
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: you're one of the favorite people on your unit, aren't you,
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: because you said beforehand off air that you had made
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: your team like a little sweet treat to take to
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: work because they have to get through night shift. And
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: I was like this woman, this woman would win me
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: over immediately.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Oh that's so kind. There are extra big smiles when
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: you walk in holding a baking tray or a tupperwork container.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: We are not mad. In fact, do you want to
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: come work at Shee's on the money, no overtime required.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: Tell me what's it like working as a midwife. Was
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: that always your dream? Was that something that you were like,
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: I really want to be your midwife one day? Or
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: is it something you went into nursing and then like
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: fell into it. Like I love to know people's journey,
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: especially in like the healthcare space.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I was twenty nine and working in an office and
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: just really thinking what am I doing? I'm just sitting
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: behind a computer, and I flipped a coin to I
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: knew I wanted to work with people and on my feet,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: And I flipped a coin to either go into teaching
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: or nursing, and it landed on nursing. So I started
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: my degree and that was wonderful, And I.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Love that, You're like, my entire career was based on
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: the flip of a coin and I love it. But
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: it worked.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: And then I just accidentally did a shift on a
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: maternity ward one day and went, wow, I could see
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: myself working here. So then I went back to university
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: and became a midwife and it's so amazing.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Tell me, what is it about being a midwife that
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: you're like, I love this so much? Because I feel
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: like I don't ask people enough about why they love
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: their career as opposed to like, what do you wear? Okay, great,
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: no worries, move on, Like what about being a midwife
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: is so special?
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: It's just being they're at the most exciting point of
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: their life and being able to help them. And I
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: do love a chit chat. So my shifts are twelve
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: and a half hours long, and.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: So if I'm oh, geez, the plus site is that.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Only work three days a week, so that's fantastic. But yeah,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: twelve and a half hours with the same woman and
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: her partner or a family and you get to know
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: them and you've become best friends, and then you deliver
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: their baby and then it's all just like happy smiles
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: and it's fantastic.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: That makes sense. Like I was in love with made
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: weird wife to the point where I was in labor
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: for like more than twenty four hours and spoiler, it
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: ended in an emergency cesarian. But when there was a
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: shift change, I cried because my midwife had to leave
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: and I was like, but I really like you, and
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: she was like, girl, like you're gonna love the next girl,
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: like we're all the same, Like it's all good. Like
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: I really like her too, and I was like, it's
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: not the point.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: No, they do like can you just stay? And I'm like,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: oh what, I've been here twelve and a half hours.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I can't. I can't, but I'll come see you tomorrow.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: So yeah, well she did, she did.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we all do see you guys are special.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: We all fall in love with you, guys like we
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: want to come see you, We want to come see baby.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: We want to tell you how proud we are of
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: you and how much of a good job you did.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: No matter what the end outcome was like, yeah, it's fantastic.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: I love it. No, I loved my midwife and I
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: loved my second midwife. I didn't love the emergency cesarean,
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: but it was like clearly for the best, but like
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: a journey that you literally need support on, like a
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: good midwife changes the trajectory of that entire journey. I promise. Oh,
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: it's so nice to hear, So talk to me. What
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: are your big goals? What are you currently working towards.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Well, I would say that my big goal has been achieved.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: As of five weeks ago, my husband and I bought.
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: Your dream family huh.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Your dream family home. Yes, so I guess my current
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: money goal is to get our mortgage under a million,
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: which is those numbers are disgusting, but that is my
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: current big financial goal.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: So let's rewind a little bit because I want to
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: know about the dream home, but I also want to
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: know about the lead up to it. So you met
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: your now husband and his true gorgeous cait, it's how
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: how did you meet your husband?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean technically on Instagram technically, but he and
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I had met in the year nineteen ninety six when
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: he started at my primary school.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Stop her, that is so cute.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so nineteen ninety six and then we were friends
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: and technology just did not exist the way it does now,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: so you know, we became teenagers and went and lived
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: our separate lives. And then yeah, he popped up on
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Instagram as someone you may know and I was like, yeah,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: I know that boy, and we started chatting and then
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: we started hanging out and then we fell in love
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: and then I moved in like five weeks later, and
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: then here we are when you know, you know, yeah,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: it's good. It's so good. He's so lovely.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: I am obsessed with that. My little sister is actually
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: married to a guy she went to prep with. And
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: I remember she was like, my sister's not going to
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: like that. I'm sharing this, So I don't really care either,
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: because I think it's a really cute story. But like,
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: she hadn't told my parents who she was dating, like
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: for a while, and then when she finally told my parents,
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: she was like, oh, yeah, his name's Sean Rayerra Mom
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, I know Sean and got out of
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: prep photos and they're sitting side by side. It's so cute.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: That is the sweetest thing ever. The universe hooked you
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: guys up early. I was like, oh, wrong timing. We'll
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: come back to this. So how do you elope to Iceland?
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: How does that happen? What's the connection? Because like that
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: sounds so exciting but also so random.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got engaged and then we started chit chatting
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: about like actually getting married, and we wanted to marry
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: each other. But you know wedding prices in Australia in
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the twenty twenty four just.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Why And also you've done it before as well, so
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: it's probably and I don't mean this in a bad way.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: You definitely want to be married to that person, but
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: you're like, the wedding component is not as shiny as
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: it was the first time round.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: No, no, it's not. We also have been doing rounds
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: of IVF, so we wanted to do one really big
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: holiday before we started IBF, and then TikTok started showing
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: us videos of Iceland and we went, hey, let's go
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: to Iceland.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: I'm obsessed.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: A flip of the coin decided my career path and
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: TikTok decided my holiday destination, which then he was like, hey,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: let's just get married. So we did. We eloped, no
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: one knew and it was so so magical.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: I love that so much. So then you come back,
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: so you mentioned before you got married in twenty twenty four,
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: so that was last year, yes, And then we.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Had a fake wedding in April of this year where
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: again nobody knew, and we had a very small intimate
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: party where I pretend walked down the aisle.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: And then did you tell them that you'd eloped?
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: We only told the kids that day, and that was
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: so excited.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: That's so cute.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I loved well, really couldn't trust that they wouldn't open
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: their mouths.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, you can't trust kids with that
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: information because do you know what? That's exciting for them?
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: Like they would have wanted to share it, like that's
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: just so exciting. So then, how long had you been
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: planning on purchasing your dream family home? Is that something
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: they'd like? Had been an undertone comp station the whole time?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah? So I lived in my own property, but I
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: purchased by myself after I had gotten divorced. I lived
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: in that but it was about forty five minutes away
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: from where he and his kids lived. So I moved
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: in with him to a rental and then I rented
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: out the property I already owned. And we just seem
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: to have really bad luck with rental properties. Every time
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: we moved in, like six to twelve months later, the
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: owner would sell the home and then we would have
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: to move. And the last rental we moved into, I said,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: this is the last one, Like, I can't pack up
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: our house again.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's chaos. Moving is literally I hate moving, like
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: I just I can't deal with it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: It is the worst. You just want to burn everything
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: you own and start again.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: It's the mental load as well, Like it's not just
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: like packing boxes. Fine, if you're getting to the packing
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: boxes stage, we're probably all good. But it's all of
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: the chaos and the logistics around that that drive me crazy.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Submitting peoplework to the bank, like I'd rather do anything else.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: But yeah, this year, we just woke up and went
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: all right, well, our lease is going to end in July,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: let's start thinking about what we want to do. So
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: we put my property up on the market and I
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: was extremely lucky to sell it for almost two hundred
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: thousand more than I purchased it for. Yes, please, So
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: without that, Without that, there's no way we could have
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: afforded a four bedroom family home in Sydney, because we
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: all know what Sydney house prices are like right now.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: So we sold once that money was in my pocket.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: We had been looking all year, but then we were
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: able to be serious and we found something that ticked
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: all of our boxes, and before you know what, we
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: were standing in front of a fasault sign. Taking a selfie.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: That is so so cool. So tell me, did you
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: settle on it five weeks ago or purchase five weeks ago?
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Settle So we've been lived in. Yeah, we've been living
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: here and we already have wedding photos on the wall
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: and that just makes me so excited.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: I love love Like, that's literally the best. So now
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: we're at the dream home thing. You said, Look, my
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: big money goal has been achieved. But you also mentioned,
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: and I hope you don't mind me prying a little bit,
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: you mentioned that you've been going through some IVF. So
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: is that a really big money goal at the moment, Like,
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: because obviously we've done the marriage, we've moved in, we've
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: got the dream home, and like the next step in
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: my head if you've mentioned IVF, I'm assuming you want
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: to build your family. Is that part of the landscape here.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I didn't know if I should drop that as
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: a as a money goal, but it definitely is. It
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: is a money goal. We've been through a few rounds
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: which unfortunately have not been successful.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: I'm so sorry.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're hoping for a successful round in the future,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: and we definitely have to keep money to the side
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: for the payment of those.
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and financially, what does that kind of look like
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: for you guys, because like it could be anywhere and
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know what it's like in New South Like
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: do you know a little bit about what it's like
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: in New South Wales? But it could be anywhere from
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: like six and a half thousand dollars to about twelve
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars a round in New South Wales.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those are the figures, and it's so hard to
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: then start thinking, well, how much do we have in
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: our back pocket because then you're almost like putting restrictions
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: on how many rounds you can financially go through.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, especially if you're at that point where you're like
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: I just want a baby, like I just want to
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: build my family with this person, and then there's a
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: financial overlay, Like I just feel like it's so unfair
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: that that's the case.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's ironic, isn't it. Being a midwife and not
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: being able to have a baby of our own.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: What's that like? Can I be really pervy? What's that like?
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: Going to work and obviously helping women deliver every day,
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: but then on the flip side, going through IVF struggles
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: that are clearly, like you said before, the rounds that
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: you've gone through so far haven't been successful, and that
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: would be heartbreaking. Like that's rough.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: It is hard, but it's not the women's fault that
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: my body just isn't cooperating. I think on a day
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: to day basis, it's okay because while I loved caring
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: for these women, they're not a part of my life.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: So I'm able to separate. It just can be very tricky.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: You just go, I just want one. I just want one,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Like can I just take one? Like please? That's so
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: many time it's hard because I'm just like, oh, I
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: don't drink, I don't do drugs. I you know, try
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: to live a good life, and my body won't cooperate.
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: Also, as somebody, I've gone through now four losses and
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: for I would say, like close to twelve week losses,
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: which has been do you know what? Really shit? Like
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: there's nothing about that, Like there's no like, oh if
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: butt's about it. But I think for me, it's that
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: doubt that you have in your own body. I'm like,
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: I am so healthy. I have been on prenatal since
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: before I had Harvey. I have gone through all of this,
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: like I am the above and beyond. I'm drinking green juice,
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: I'm doing all of the things, like all I want
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: is a healthy baby. And then you see on socials,
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: oh surprise, oh my god, we didn't know what we
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: were going to do, and you're just like why me,
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Like I'm desperate, like that's what I want, Like all
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: I want is a baby, and all I want is
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: for that journey to be my journey. And then somehow
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: it just so easily works for other women and they
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: might not have even wanted that journey, and you're like,
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: that doesn't feel fair, But unfortunately that is the way
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: that the cookie crumbles for some of us. And that's okay.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: It is okay. I have two wonderful step kids. They
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: are amazing, they're beautiful, they're fantastic.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm sending you all the baby dust because I
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: can tell like you are so before I was like, oh,
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: of course, she's a midwife, Like you are so empathetic,
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: Like I already know you're the best step mum, and
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: we're just waiting for you to become like a mum
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: of a baby that you burst like that's so exciting,
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: and I just know what's going to happen. Let's go
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: to a really quick break because on the flip side,
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: we're going to dive back into the money chat. All right, money, darrist,
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: we are back, and you have shared so much with
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: us that I think is going to be so helpful
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: for our community, like literally everything from eloping in Iceland
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: to IVF to buying a full bed dream house in
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: Sydney and then also meeting your now husband when you
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: were literal eleven year olds to then rekindling that love
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: on Instagram. I want to know now a bit more
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: about the financials though. Do you invest? If so in what?
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: If not? Why not?
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: So? I only recently, like maybe one month ago, set
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: up a raise account, and I have zero idea what
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I am doing.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: That's okay because like you did the hardest part.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I've set it up. I'm doing the roundup like I'm
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: doing what it's doing, but I don't understand. So that's
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: my next like personal set of homework for myself is
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: to learn obsessed investments. My husband and I also have
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: bank accounts set up for the kids. They are aged
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: six and eleven, and so every week we each contribute
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: six and eleven dollars into their account. Per week.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: So that's how my pocket money worked growing up. But
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: it was a few years ago now, and we didn't
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: get a dollar per year. We got fifty cents per year.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Oh. We worked it out that once they're twenty five,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: it'll be like somewhere in the forty to fifty thousand dollars.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: So it seems little to say we're just putting six
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: dollars a week in by.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: From little things, big things grow, that's exactly right.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: So investments, we have the accounts for the kids and
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I've set up a raise account. That's where I'm at
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: with my investments at the moment. But I'm very eager
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: to educate myself.
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: I'm obsessed. What does your superannuation look like?
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, great question. It is one hundred and twenty nine.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Thousand, Okay, So she's a very serious investor. She just
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: doesn't identify as that yet. That is a legitimate investment.
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: That is all in your name. Like you have one
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: hundred and twenty nine thousand dollars investable. Like that's crazy,
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: that's crazy. Like that's so good for your age as well.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you that Okay, I'm excited to hear that.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Then I'm very excited to hear that.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: Oh girl, like you're thirty nine and one hundred and
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: twenty nine thousand dollars. That is way above average. Like
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: that is that is very sexy? That is very very nice.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I'll let my husband know that I have a sexy.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: Oh he knows. Can I go back and ask some
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: more of perviey questions about your kids? So you said
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: that they were your step kids, and that is absolutely slay.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: But the ownership you're taking over them, I'm obsessed with.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: You're like, nope, but we do this together. These like
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: I'm contributing to their futures and I just I think
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: that is so beautiful. But how does that work? So, like,
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: you meet this man, here's the man of your dreams,
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: you want to marry the hell out of him. He's
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: got two kids. What type of conversations are you guys
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: having around that, Because that can be a fickle situation,
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: Like there is maybe a mum involved that also is
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: contributing to their futures or maybe there's not. Like every
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: situation is different, every like family is different. How does
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: that work for you?
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: I really think from the get go, my husband and
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I were having the hard hitting questions like straight up.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: You have to when there are kids involved. I'm sorry,
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: Like this actually is serious? Or we don't bother?
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like about everything, just everything. We were having the
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: heart hitting conversations, which I think is so important. You
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: can fall in love with someone, but if you're not
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: on the same page, like on a day to day
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: basis with finances and raising kids and all that jazz.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know. I think it just made sense.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I love this man and we're best friends, and he's
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: got two kids, so of course they now suddenly.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: It's a package deal.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: It's a package deal.
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: And see, I just knew you were kind human from
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: the start. I just know you're a good person. Like
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: that just tells me so much about you. Now let's
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: go into debt. That's maybe not the sexy stuff, but
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: I actually get to talk about your dream home again.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: Tell me how much debt are you guys in? And
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: what for?
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: The only debt we have is our mortgage.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: That is sexy. Again, you can tell your husband that's
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: sexy too.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: The only debt we have is our mortgage?
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: And what does that look like?
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: We bought from one point too then, because I was
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: already a homeowner. We got lumped with some stamp duty.
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: I yeah, but also you're above the cap, so you're
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: always going to get stamp duty at a one point
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: two million dollar purchase price. Sorry okay, but that should
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: make you feel a little bit better about it, because
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: like you wouldn't have got first homeowner concessions in New
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: South Wales. I believe the first homeona concession caps out
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: at about nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Don't quote
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: me on that because I don't have my stats in
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: front of me, but I do own a mortgage broking business,
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: so I feel like I might know more than the
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: average bear.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: So in the end, it was one point twenty five
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: and we currently owe one point one but we have
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: one hundred and thirteen thousand in our offset stop it,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: so I can't say that I have an emergency fund
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: or a.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: Yes you do, it's just sitting in your offset.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: We put it there for obviously the benefit of the
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: interest being charged, but it's there for IVF. It's there
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: for if anything happens.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, that makes me so happy that you've still got
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: like you've made a massive purchase, and that's terrifying, Like
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: anything over a million dollars, I get a little lump
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: in my throat and I'm like, oh, like that's a
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: lot of money. But to know that you've got that
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: financial freedom in a way for the journey, Like it's
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: not like you are week to week at this point
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: in your life.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: And that My husband and I've had a great conversation
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: where we have a personal limit that we don't want
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: to dip below.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: Can I be pervy? What's that limit? Look like?
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: We don't want to dip below one hundred and ten
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: thousand in hour offset?
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: So that's really fair? Do you know what is crazy?
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: I was having this conversation with a friend the other
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: day and money is really fickle, right, Like there are
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: going to be people listening to this who are like,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: I don't even have five hundred dollars in a emergency
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: fund yet. And it's like that's fine. Like you're all
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: on different trajectories, you're all on different journeys, and like
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: we all start somewhere. But it's crazy. I remember being
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: in a massive amount of debt. For those of you
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: who maybe haven't heard my entire story, I was in
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: forty thousand dollars worth of consumer debt, got myself out
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: of that created cheese on the money, and the rest
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: is essentially history. But I remember when I started my
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: emergency fund and I got to my first five hundred dollars,
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: and you kind of set these little like benchmarks in
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: your head and you go, now it's a five hundred dollars.
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: I can never let it get below five hundred dollars.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: And then that five hundred dollars becomes one thousand dollars,
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: and then over time it starts to get a little
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: bit bigger. And like, as my financial security has grown
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: and my income has increased, I've tried very hard to
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: invest and very hard to save. But like, it's crazy
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: how we get these numbers in our head and they
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: kind of like little benchmarks. But clearly you've gotten to
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: and I reckon, there was a previous time where it
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: was one hundred and now it's one hundred and ten
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: for you, And that's actually so cool because you're just
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: sitting on this financial security to put your family in
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: the best possible position. But like, it's crazy how past
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: me would have thought that one hundred thousand dollars was
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: an astronomical amount of money, and then today it's still
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: a lot of money. I'm not going to pretend it's not,
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: but it's now become the benchmark. And like, my husband
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: and I are the same, and we have about one
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: hundred thousand dollars sitting in our offset at the moment,
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: and like both of us are like, oh, well, it
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: can't go below that now, And it's like we've set
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: this rule up, this rule that we've made up. But
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: like when we first got together, the idea that we
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: would even have one hundred thousand dollars as a conversation
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: is mind blowing. So I just want to kind of
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: contextualize it a little bit. But also it's funny with
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: those benchmarking things when you said, we've got this goal
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: of like not letting it get blow one hundred and ten.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Isn't it crazy how we set these things up. But
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: they feel like very big goals and they're very serious,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: but we've kind of just made them up.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no one's holding us to it, but it's great
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: to have the benchmark. My husband loves even numbers, so
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: if there was like, say one hundred and thirteen thousand,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: nine hundred and eighty two dollars in there, he would
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: just go and transfer, like eighteen dollars over to make
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: it a whole number.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: So no, I'm the same, I'm exactly the same.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: I'm a bit plase it doesn't bother me like that.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: But yeah, he's always for the even numbers, so it
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: means that we get a little bit of extra money
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: in there because he's forever just shuffling some dollars around.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: That's me, your husband and I must we would get along.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: On debt, you've got one point one million dollars mortgage debt.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: Talk to me about the repayments for that? Are they comfortable?
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: Are they something that you guys are like, Oh, it's
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: going to be a stretch for a little while. Like
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: what's the debt repayment situation on that mortgage?
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Looking like, Yeah, we do everything fortnightly because I get
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: paid fortnightly, so we pay everything fortnitly, and so far
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: we're okay.
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: And are you on fixed or variable? Because we recently
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: had a point two five percent rate cut and banks
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: haven't passed that on yet, but they probably will very
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: soon and that will be a very welcome surprise to
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: a lot of mortgage holders. Yeah, we are very, very
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: very exciting.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: So I'll pray for that that passover for us.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: That should be passed on. It should be and if not,
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: you need to talk to your mortgage broker and make
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: them put the hard word on the bank.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: Oh I will, don't you worry. I love that our
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: mortgage repayments are probably almost my whole pay which is sad, but.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: It's the economy we live.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: It is the economy that we live in.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: And what does that leave you with? Each month? So
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: you and your husband do you earn about the same
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: amount or is it variably different?
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: No? We actually earned within like five hundred dollars of
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: each other each financial year.
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: Oh that's so cool.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm committed to picking up some extra overtime this
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: financial year just so I can be the one that's
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: five hundred dollars ahead.
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: See, that would be me. It would become a game,
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: and I love winning.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: It is a game. I think it is a game
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: who can be there first?
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: Would you say that that's one of your best money habits? Like,
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: if I asked you what is your best money habit?
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: What do you reckon? You would say, Oh, if.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: I can talk about me and my husband as one unit,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I think our best money habit is that we have
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: a finance chat in WhatsApp. It's titled finance Chat and
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: it's where we throw ideas around.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: That's so cute. I love this idea.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: And then Friday nights, we don't have my step kids
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: on that night, and so every so often we have
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: a finance Friday where we like discuss and reevaluate.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Stop it.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I think that's like probably one of our best things.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: But the fact that we pay our bills fortnightly and
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: we contribute to the well.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: Don't you don't pay when it's due, We don't pay.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: So most of ourbiel's wear between three and five hundred dollars.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: Oh that is so sexy. I love this relationship with yours.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's honestly. I just love him so much for
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: just how open and.
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: You deserve this, Like you went through a divorce, and
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: I can almost guarantee that at some point during that
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: divorce you were like, my life is over. What the
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: hell I'm getting divorced? I never saw this coming. This
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: is why, babe, This is why, because there are better
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: things that came along. Like I'm so glad you got divorced.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, me so. But it's just great to have a
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: partner who is willing to have these conversations, and who
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: is willing to learn with you and take on suggestions
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: and even make suggestions like we are a team and
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: it's so so good.
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: I love this for you. Flip the narrative, though, what's
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: your worst money habit?
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Baking for all your colleagues and expending lots on sweet treats,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: because like, I feel like that could get expensive really quickly.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Do you know how much butter costs these days? It's disgusting.
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: I'm aware. That's why I think it's really expensive, Like
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: maybe we all need to swap to margarine.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe baking is expensive. I have slowed down on that.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: My worst money habit would be probably being blonde because
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: that's expensive.
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it used to be free when you were thirteen,
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: but it's not anymore. When you're a midwife. No one's
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: going to do your hair while they're in labor. I'm
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: so sorry.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: I would say I am very quick to suggest a
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: holiday yeah nice to my husband, and he will be like, okay, cool, Yeah,
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: let's do it. So I think that's probably my worst
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: money habit is I'll be like, okay, so we're ahead
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: of all our bills. Where can we go on holidays? Now? Oh?
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: I love that though. That's kind of cute and also
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: sounds a little bit like me. I always tell my
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: husband that he's a neighborer because I'm like, I love
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: that you love me, and I love that you really
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: want me to be happy. So when I say, oh,
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: should we go on a holiday? You go, yeah, if
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: that's what you want to do, Like, we can totally
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: do that. No no, no, pull me into line, say no, no, no, Victoria,
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: We've got a mortgage, Like, tell me that that maybe
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: is not a good idea. So, like my best money habit,
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: I would say's my husband, Yeah, I hope that's it.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Also, why are all these amazing artists doing so many
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: fun music tours lately? My husband and I probably our
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: number one hobby is live music, and it's just where
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: half our money goes, and it's just terrible.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: Look, I'm not mad about that. As somebody who also
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: enjoys live music, like we are guilty of that, and
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: now that we have a baby as well, I'm very
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: guilty of looking up like what's going on in the
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: summer kind of like the festival vibe ones where you
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: can take your kid, and like you know, by tick,
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: they're still expensive, but I would say it's even more
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: expensive because it's a day thing and then you end
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: up buying all of the food and all of the
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: drinks there and spending the day there. I'm not going
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: to like a night concert and then coming home.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: No, no, it's a family affair.
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, so like it's a slippery slope.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: So yeah, definitely, my worst money habit is suggesting fun
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: activities and my husband's saying.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, okay, So our husband's are our downfall. That
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: is okay, our current husbands, our current money dost I
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: do have a question to like circle back to the start.
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: You said, look, I think I'm comfortably a B. But
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: then you went on to tell me, like I've got
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: this really great career that I love as a midwife,
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: Like I'm on one thirty k ish every financial year,
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: like I regularly do over time. You've clearly got your
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: stuff together because you are paying your bills in advance
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: every two weeks. Like you've just signed a mortgage. I
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: mean it was one point two million dollars or one
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: point two five million dollars, which is crazy, but you
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: only owe one point one million dollars and you also
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: have one hundred and thirteen thousand dollars in your offset account.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: You casually dropped that you had one hundred and twenty
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: nine thousand dollars in your superannuation, which, by the way,
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: very very good amount for your age.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: So I just feel like we're tracking pretty bloody well.
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: What would it take to get you from a B
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: to an A?
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: What does an A look like to you? Because like
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: in my head, I'm like, oh, you're very close to
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: a territory.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe some more education.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: I can help you with that. Actually, I have a suggestion.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: We can talk about it later.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I keep throwing around the idea of an investment property
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: to my husband, but I'm sure if that's the best
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: idea for us for our retirement, I'm not sure. So
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: probably I would say education would get me to an A.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: I love that, and I think that that's really important
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: because I think education would also help you contextualize where
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: you're sitting because at the moment, if I have a
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: look at like your super for example, you probably don't
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: know this because when I said, oh, that's really good,
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: you're like, oh, really was it? But the average superannuation
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: for a woman between the age of thirty five and
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: thirty nine is about eighty six thousand dollars. Oh, so
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: you're already running rings around that, like you're already ahead
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: of the curve. And I think that that's really exciting.
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: And if I go on to like a different super website,
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: which is a little bit more conservative, it says here
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: that the average superannuation balance for a woman between the
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: age of thirty five and thirty ninety seventy one thousand dollars.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: I know it doesn't make much difference, but I do
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: turn forty in two weeks, so just does that make
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: a difference.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, so the average forty year old has one hundred
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars in super.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Oh so I'm still above average.
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: You're still running rings around it like you're still killing it.
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: And I think that that's really important to contextualize. So
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: I think education is also about going, hey, actually, I'm
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: able to recognize where I'm building well and maybe could
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: continue building well because we need to give ourselves credit
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: as women, we just don't.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess we always think there's somewhere we can improve.
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent, and we're all starting our journey at
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: different times and like for different things, but like we
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: all have different priorities as well, So I just think
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: you're doing really well and if that's what it takes
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: for you to get to an A, then that's fine.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: But you're already on the right path. So I'm kind
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: of like she doesn't really need my health, so that's fantastic.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the pep talk.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: No, I love it well, money Dirives. I am very
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: sad that we have run out of time. It has
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: been a journey. I just feel like we would be
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: really good friends off air, so hopefully at some point
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: we get to cross paths in person. But thank you
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: so much for sharing your journey and your story and
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: so many just different parts that I know our community
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: is going to be obsessed with.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: No Worri. Thank you so much for having me and
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: for listening to me Ramball the first time talking to you, of.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: Course, thank you so much.
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
• 43:12
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• 43:13
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