Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 261. Weight loss meds, internalised shame and the questions won't stop: What do I owe everyone?

Transcript

261. Weight loss meds, internalised shame and the questions won't stop: What do I owe everyone? · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apogee Production an easier advice. Are you okay what happened?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much, bring it in. Welcome
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: to our Bestie Segment. This is the place for you.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of our Bestie Segment.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: This is our favorite segment. Maybe I'm not sure I
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: love both. We love both, but this is where you
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: get to bring in your anonymous obmissions for things that
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: you're navigating. And we love this time of the week
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: because honestly, hearing your real stories and the things that
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  Speaker 2: you're going through and being able to support you even
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: if you take away one thing, means the world to us.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: So thank you for bringing them in here each week.
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  Speaker 1: Alrighty, let's get straight into it and reminded, this is anonymous,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: so we don't know who has written in no way
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  Speaker 1: for us to find out. So it's great that when
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of context, because then we feel like
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  Speaker 1: we can give more advice. It's like when you go
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: to your best friend, you tell them every little detail. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's what we want here absolutely. Alrighty, Hey girls, speaking context,
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  Speaker 1: I know you love context, so I will try my
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  Speaker 1: best to include as much info as possible. Perfect so
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  Speaker 1: I did a fair amount of sport. However, I was
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  Speaker 1: always one of the heavier girls and tall growing up.
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  Speaker 1: In my mid twenties, I lost a lot of weight.
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  Speaker 1: Just before I met my now husband, I dropped approximately
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  Speaker 1: twenty kilos after seeing a pt and putting in the
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  Speaker 1: hard work, I was down to a size twelve to fourteen.
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  Speaker 1: I put the weight back on over the past sixty
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  Speaker 1: years since having kids and not prioritizing myself. Recently, I
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  Speaker 1: felt a bit depressed as I hit three digits on
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  Speaker 1: the scale again. So when on the weight loss medication, Yes,
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  Speaker 1: one of those injectioned ones that suppresses your appetite, I
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  Speaker 1: see it as no different to smokers using those patches
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  Speaker 1: to help stop their cravings. I feel conflicted as society
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  Speaker 1: seems to be really against these injections and often online
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  Speaker 1: refers to it as a cop out. Smokers using patches
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  Speaker 1: don't get that same criticism, which is unfair in my opinion. Anyways,
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  Speaker 1: I've lost twelve and a half kilos in three months
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  Speaker 1: as I have been exercising and making better food choices
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  Speaker 1: alongside these injections. They stop the food noise and it
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  Speaker 1: gives me clarity like never before. I used to, for example,
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  Speaker 1: will drive past a CAFC advert and I honestly wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: be able to get CAFC out of my mind for
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  Speaker 1: days until I had it. Now, if I'm dining out,
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  Speaker 1: I actually want the chicken salad over the palming chips
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  Speaker 1: as a much more in tune with nutrients and how
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: it makes my body feel post the meal side. Note,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not someone who does botox, cosmetic procedures, etc. So
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  Speaker 1: I think there's possibly some underlying guilt that I've judged
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  Speaker 1: others in the past get now afraid of similar judgment.
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  Speaker 1: But I love her self awareness. Please note I'm in
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: a chapter of emotional intelligence and growth. I'm way less
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: judgment till now. I promise my dilemma is now my
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  Speaker 1: weight loss is noticeable. I feel awkward when people ask
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  Speaker 1: what I've been doing. I sometimes just say I've been
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  Speaker 1: eating better, which is not a total lie. But some
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  Speaker 1: family members have been pestering me about it, and I
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  Speaker 1: don't know if I want everyone knowing I use the medication.
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  Speaker 1: I am open about it with certain family members and friends,
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  Speaker 1: yet some have no idea. How do I navigate these
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  Speaker 1: conversations without feeling like a fraud. Thanks bestie is in advances.
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  Speaker 2: You don't know anyone anything. I agree, it's not of
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  Speaker 2: anyone's business what you do with your even if they're
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  Speaker 2: pestering you or not like them, what you feel comfortable with.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't know anyone anything.
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  Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. And also like, this is a journey
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  Speaker 2: of one, this is you versus you, and you're on
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  Speaker 2: your own journey. And I, honestly, I truly believe it
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  Speaker 2: is a core belief of mine that no one should
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  Speaker 2: have any right to tell anyone what they can I
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  Speaker 2: can't do with their body. Hence why I don't have
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  Speaker 2: an opinion on people who choose to do things like this,
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  Speaker 2: because I'm like, you do what makes you feel good.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, say what you feel. Vaccinations, you're too cool if
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  Speaker 1: you don't. Absolutely same with plastic surgery. If you want it, amazing,
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  Speaker 1: if you're against it, totally fine. You're allowed to have
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  Speaker 1: that opinion, but don't allow the noise, the external noise,
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  Speaker 1: to stop you from doing what feels good for you.
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  Speaker 1: Because at the end of the day, they don't live
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  Speaker 1: in your head. No, they don't live in your body.
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  Speaker 1: They don't know what it feels like to live your life,
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  Speaker 1: and oftentimes I truly also believe this that if you
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't trade lives with somebody, don't take their advice, don't
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  Speaker 1: take their judgment, don't take on their limitations what they
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  Speaker 1: put on you, because it's not yours to carry. And
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  Speaker 1: it's cool. You're aware of the judgment that you used
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  Speaker 1: to have on other people, So you're aware of that
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  Speaker 1: heart of mind shown up for you, and now when
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: other people would project onto you, you can kind of see
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  Speaker 1: it very differently. I know one person that's on that.
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  Speaker 1: It's a friend of a friend of mine, and she
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  Speaker 1: was a massive binge eater, an emotional eater, and she's
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  Speaker 1: also a lot of weight, and same with you, she's
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  Speaker 1: also eating really healthy. She's also exercising, and she's also like, wow,
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  Speaker 1: it's actually made me pull myself out of it and go, WHOA.
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  Speaker 1: I was such an emotional eater, so it stopped the
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  Speaker 1: food noise for her. So she is making better decisions,
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  Speaker 1: she's feeling more confident in her skin, and she's way
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  Speaker 1: more aware of her patterns. Yeah, Like I don't see
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  Speaker 1: anything wrong with that. Like, of course, I will always
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  Speaker 1: be an advocate for moving your body and for making
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  Speaker 1: healthier food choices period. I will always die on that hill.
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  Speaker 1: It always needs to be a priority because without your health,
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  Speaker 1: you've got nothing. So if you are going to do
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  Speaker 1: these injections and still eat caves every single day and
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  Speaker 1: wonder why you feel like shit? For my research with peptides,
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  Speaker 1: which I said, I'm not going to speak on again,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not going to speak about my per experience. I
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  Speaker 1: know I'm not on that one, but from my understanding,
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  Speaker 1: it's there to assist if you are going to eat
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  Speaker 1: AFC every single day and take it, I assume it
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  Speaker 1: probably wouldn't works best and you're gonna feel like shit.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You still need to have a foundation of a good
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  Speaker 1: diet and moving your body and a good mindset and
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  Speaker 1: healthy habits. You can't just take that and expect to
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  Speaker 1: feel amazing and look amazing. Yes, this isn't a replacement
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  Speaker 1: for them. No, the same with supplements, right, It's that's true. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: you can take vitamins and minerals. If you're eating caves
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  Speaker 1: every single day, three times a day, you're still going
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  Speaker 1: to feel like shit. Someone is not going to take
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  Speaker 1: away all that oil and MSGY and flavoring and seasonings artificial.
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  Speaker 1: This and that that your body doesn't know how to
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  Speaker 1: process and digest. You have to have the foundation of
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  Speaker 1: health first. But as far as like what they think,
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  Speaker 1: I just don't think you owe anyone any explanation. It
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  Speaker 1: is your body, your choice, and you can stay in
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  Speaker 1: your own lane and you're not lying. You're still eating
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  Speaker 1: making better food choices. So just say that. Yeah, that's
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  Speaker 1: all you need to say.
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  Speaker 2: I've been prioritizing my health because I wasn't feeling great
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  Speaker 2: how I was before, and I was unhappy with what
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  Speaker 2: I was doing, and what I'm doing is working.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly, So just stay in your own lane and do
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  Speaker 1: it's best for you.
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  Speaker 2: Again, you don't owe anybody anything, and you don't need
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  Speaker 2: to explain yourself. You can share what feels comfortable and
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  Speaker 2: then that's it and the conversation there is nothing else
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  Speaker 2: to it. Lick and pest to you all they want,
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  Speaker 2: but it's whether you hold the boundary or not.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Definitely. It's like we spoke about this on our Cosmetic
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  Speaker 1: Surge three episode last month and I said, I can
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  Speaker 1: really see why a lot of influencers don't share their
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  Speaker 1: journey because you cop so much hate for and everyone's
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  Speaker 1: got an opinion and criticism this and that, and I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: I did this for me. I don't care what you
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  Speaker 1: think about my eye surgery. I did it for me.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't do it because I wanted your approval if
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  Speaker 1: you think it's right or wrong. Where I need or
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  Speaker 1: I don't need it, I'm too young, I'm too old. Like,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not doing it for anyone else but me, and
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  Speaker 1: I would have made that decision regardless what anyone said.
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  Speaker 1: And I've also sat on this decision for five years.
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  Speaker 1: So same with you. You do what's right for you,
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  Speaker 1: we will just stand strong in that. Absolutely sounds so
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  Speaker 1: black and white, but it's just as in.
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  Speaker 2: Your situation, it gets to be black or whie. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you share what you feel comfortable with. Don't share what
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  Speaker 2: you don't feel comfortable with.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly, that's it. You're going to share that with who
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  Speaker 1: you feel safe to share it with. Yeah, anything like
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  Speaker 1: anything traumatic in your childhood or anything you're navigating your relationship,
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  Speaker 1: You're not going to go blast that to people that
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  Speaker 1: you don't feel safe to. Yeah, you know, talk to
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  Speaker 1: the people that you feel safe and comfortable with. It's
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  Speaker 1: the same with this.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, give yourself a mission to not have to explain yourself,
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  Speaker 2: who said that you do, who said that you have
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  Speaker 2: to be so one hundred percent transparently honest when they
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: don't not not deserve that truth that I don't know
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  Speaker 2: how else to position it. But they don't need to know. No,
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  Speaker 2: they don't need to know. They don't need to know
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  Speaker 2: every single detail.
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  Speaker 1: It's like living I know I can comparing it back
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: because it's just my experience, but living online, there's this
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  Speaker 1: expectation that I have to share all the details. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: it's like when I went through a friendship breakdown, everyone
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: thought they were entitled to know exactly what happens. So true,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm like, absolutely not to me, And the other
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  Speaker 1: person might want to do it differently, but to me,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: this is between me and that person. I'm not going
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: to go blast that online. Have ever run put their
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: opinions and potentially impact our mental health or if it
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: gets this messy, and I just don't think there's any
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: need for that. And there's certain things in my relationship
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: or maybe my sex life that I don't share for
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: a reason. There's things that you can keep to yourself
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: and you don't owe anyone, whether you're a public figure,
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  Speaker 1: or not. You don't owe anything to anyone. You keep
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to yourself what you want to keep to yourself, and
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: that is your right. It's you a human right.
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  Speaker 2: I hope that's enough. I hope that gives you enough
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  Speaker 2: permission to know, like, oh, it doesn't have to be
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  Speaker 2: as big as what your mind is making it out
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: to be. It's just simply put, I'm taking care of myself.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: In a way that feels good for me. Yeah, mic job,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: that's all goodbye. Yes, that is a short episode today,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: but yeah, you get to keep that to yourself.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: And you know what, express how proud you are of
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: yourself that person is asking in there, hounding you. I've
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: lost twelve kilos. I am proud of myself.
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  Speaker 1: I'm feeling good.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling good, I'm moving, I'm making better choices. I
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: used to binge eat and now I don't own it.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Own it.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Don't shy away from the truth. Don't shy away from
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  Speaker 2: your experience. Either diminish it and make it small and
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: make yourself feel shameful for putting yourself in a better
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: position physically, emotionally, mentally, all of it. And if that's
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: the way that you chose to do it amazing. No
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: one has the right to speak on that period mic drop.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: That is all we end of story and goodbye.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. If you guys have a sticky situation,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: whether it's to do with your relationships, your friendships, your family,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: your work, money, like literally anything where you're like, oh
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: my god, I just need some outside advice. Maybe you
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: don't have a group of friends that you can turn to.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe you don't want to turn to them because they
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: know your husband or they know other people involved, or
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: maybe you just want an outside perspective, someone that isn't
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: in amongst or emotionally attached. Bring it in and we'll
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: leave the link in our description box. More contexts the better.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: As you've heard, it helps us to give better advice
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: and you we'll see you on Monday. Bye bye,