Latest / Not All Business / Sticky Situations: Bad References, Broken Accountability, and Kale

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Sticky Situations: Bad References, Broken Accountability, and Kale · Not All Business

0:00
Hey everyone. We just launched Not All
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Business unfiltered, our new community on Sub Stack
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Unfiltered because it's the not and not all business.
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It's more personal, more behind the scenes and way less business
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than the podcast. We have a fun free newsletter
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called Casual Fridays that drops almost every Friday.
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We say almost because we're being honest with you from the
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start. Sometimes we just take a day
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off. And for the cost of whatever you
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just ordered at Starbucks, we also have an ad free version of
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our episodes Lives, Q&A's and Clay's Corner from Detroit.
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There's no corporate Polish, there's no BS.
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It's just us. So join us at Not All
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business.substack.com. Should you friend your boss on
0:52
social media? Is mandatory fun a thing?
0:55
And if so, should it require a waiver?
0:58
And if someone has a piece of kale in their teeth mid
1:01
presentation, do you say something or do you just stare
1:04
at it for an hour? This week is casual Friday and
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the three of us are back at it. We've got 2 sticky situations
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for you, one about being trapped as a reference for a manager
1:14
you're not exactly raving about, and one from an educator asking
1:18
how you create accountability when the people in charge
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seemingly face zero consequences.
1:24
We're also going to give her hot takes.
1:26
Turns out Heather has a waiver for everything.
1:29
Surprise. So welcome to Not All Business,
1:32
a podcast by two former CEO's who went from competitors to
1:36
friends. I'm Blakely Graham and my Co
1:38
host is Heather Cooper, and we're joined by our producer
1:41
Clay Cornell. Now let's get down to business.
1:52
All right, welcome to Casual Friday, my favorite episodes
1:57
where we're just cozy and laughing and no stress other
2:01
than rapid fire, which stresses Blakely out completely, but I
2:05
digress. I got stressed out the other day
2:08
because so it's this whole thing of getting my son his license
2:13
plates. It's so hard to move to another
2:15
state. He was in Utah, moved back to
2:16
Colorado, and it's like you have to jump through all these hoops
2:18
and you got to have the proof of residential address and blah,
2:20
blah, blah. That's bureaucracy at its.
2:22
Worst it really is, it's it's and everybody trying to get
2:25
their money out of it, right, Yeah.
2:26
OK. So we're sitting there, we got
2:28
there early for the appointment. We're waiting and waiting.
2:31
And in Colorado, what they're doing now is they're doing the
2:35
eye test where you have to stand 20 feet back.
2:38
They used to do it at the window where the person's doing all
2:41
your paperwork. And they're like, hey, read
2:43
these letters, right? Yeah.
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And I love that system because you can totally hack it.
2:49
I don't know if you guys have ever done this.
2:51
No, I've never done it. I don't live there.
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What do you do? You're lying.
2:55
I can't lie, remember? Oh.
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God wait, yes I know I know. But OK so I don't want I do need
3:00
glasses desperately when I drive at night like it's a it's bad.
3:04
I can only see like the next stop light barely and I can't.
3:06
Really. Do you have them?
3:08
I have glasses, yes. You see, they're my lawyer
3:10
glasses. Those are for seeing distances.
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OK, OK, OK. But I don't like I don't want to
3:14
have it on my license restricted because what if I got pulled
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over and I didn't have you know, So I always try to just pass the
3:20
test at the DMV. How do you cheat?
3:24
So you cheat by so you they're working on a thing.
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It's always part of like the last thing that they're doing.
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And so all you do, this has worked my entire life.
3:31
You stand back and very confidently, very confidently
3:35
and very fast. You say LCPZQ or whatever, like
3:40
just very straight strong. You just say these letters and
3:44
they don't look up and they're like, OK, yeah, she did it.
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Like they're not seeing if you were right.
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They don't know. They're not.
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You just have to say it. Confidently.
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And fast. No, they don't.
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But they do. It's the same line every time.
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They probably hear it 20 times a day.
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Well, I promise you, Blakely, yes I am.
4:00
Because I can't see the letters. That's what I'm telling you.
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I can't make me feel better. The letters.
4:06
So unless I guessed very well, I just say it fast and confident
4:11
and they just don't even notice. It worked, has worked my whole
4:14
life, but now I'm screwed. I'm screwed next time I go in
4:18
because they do it at the check in now.
4:20
So in order to save time, they do it.
4:22
And then she's just focusing and everybody's paying attention to
4:25
whether you get the letters right.
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And I'm going to be so screwed. You're.
4:28
Going to get your license taken away?
4:30
That's going to be OK because you're a dangerous night driver.
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This all came up before we started recording because
4:38
Heather's mad that she has to set up her phone for her camera.
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And I said, and I and she's like, does it really make a
4:45
difference? And I was like, yeah, it makes a
4:47
difference. It's like night and day.
4:49
It looks amazing now. Which, by the way, listeners and
4:52
viewers, well, just viewers do. I look so clear.
4:55
Can you see every wrinkle in line on my?
4:56
Face you used to have us like white film over your face that.
5:00
Sounds horrible and you just let that happen for bugging 27
5:07
episodes. You did.
5:10
OK, no, you they got a little tipsy on wine in person night
5:15
and didn't pack up my bag correctly.
5:17
OK, And it wasn't me you, it was you 2, it was you 2 'cause I
5:21
went back in. Took a charge.
5:23
And you guys packed it up and you lost.
5:26
Myself. And that's what happened there.
5:27
My fault. But yeah, so I couldn't see the
5:30
difference. I was like, I see no difference.
5:31
And then Clay's like, you gotta get your eyes checked.
5:33
I'm like, that's fair. I probably it's probably
5:35
everything that's blurry. But then you said.
5:38
But now, now I know that you you cheat on your.
5:42
I cheat on my driver's license. Test on your driver's license
5:45
test. But anyway, anyway, speak.
5:48
Oh, go ahead. Oh, I just can I literally as we
5:51
are on this show, I just got some text that I don't know if
5:54
you saw me like smiling before the punchline.
5:57
And so I can I just read you these texts.
6:00
Oh, I know Heather didn't see you, but I saw you.
6:03
I literally just got these texts.
6:04
It's just like it's two, OK. Do I have the missiles vaccine
6:10
like? Measles, right?
6:12
Well. I I'm like, yeah, OK, she must,
6:15
she must mean measles. I wrote yes.
6:17
She goes, oh good, there's a muscles outbreak, but she
6:30
spelled muscles like the food. Just say.
6:34
Just say. If you didn't get it, you're
6:35
totally shocked. Say that.
6:37
Yes, yes, that's good. That's a good. 10 I just I.
6:43
Mean OK, I just but is there a measles outbreak?
6:47
There is, yeah, there. Well, I know of the one in the
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neighboring high school. There is.
6:52
Oh, there's one like near you. Yeah, the neighboring high
6:55
school has 2 cases. Because of the anti vax.
6:59
Yeah, they were both unvaccinated and so I don't know
7:02
if she has new information like maybe it's come to our school so
7:05
I need to to find out. But she's vaccinated for
7:08
missiles, muscles and measles, so we're good she's.
7:11
Not OK. Well, it sounds like a high
7:13
school near you has a very sticky situation that they need
7:16
to solve. We have our own to solve at this
7:17
moment. So we have listeners and viewers
7:21
who have written in. We've got 2 today.
7:23
I want to get to them. We're going to make this fast,
7:26
so brains on. So not not long winded.
7:30
Got it. Not long winded.
7:31
Someday we'll get there. Someday we'll get that.
7:34
OK, we're going to try. You know how every industry has
7:41
that one relationship where both sides need each other, but the
7:44
communication is just broken? In construction, that's general
7:49
contractors and subcontractors. The invoices get lost, the
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budgets blow up, and nobody's on the same page.
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Well, Trade Agent fixes that. It's the AI layer that sits
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handled like magic. No more fights, no more finger
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pointing, and everyone can get back to actual building.
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Check it out at the Trade agent.com.
8:23
Here we go. Sticky situation.
8:26
Hi, Blakely and Heather. Long time listener, first time
8:29
caller. Yeah, I was not mentioned in
8:32
this one, but you know what? That's OK.
8:34
That's OK. So here's my situation.
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My manager just asked me to be a reference for them, and I said
8:42
yes before I really thought it through.
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The thing is, I'd give them a decent reference.
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Not a bad one, but not the glowing this person walks on
8:52
water reference they're clearly expecting.
8:56
They've been fine, not great, and they have no idea that's how
9:00
I feel about them. So now I'm stuck.
9:04
Do I just give the honest reference and hope it never gets
9:07
back to them? Do I go back and tell them I
9:10
can't do it and make it weird for however long we're still
9:14
working together? Or do I actually tell them the
9:16
truth about where I stand, which feels like it would blow
9:20
everything up? Question mark.
9:23
I don't know what the right move is here.
9:26
Please help. Yeah, I think you do it and I
9:30
think you say what you can say truthfully and that's OK though
9:34
these these review calls are very, I'm assuming it's a, it's
9:38
a phone call reference, not just like a written out reference,
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did they? I would assume so.
9:42
Let's just assume that it's a phone like they're going to give
9:44
them and someone's going to call them.
9:47
It's very easy to they're usually open-ended questions,
9:51
things like, Hey, so tell us what it was like working with so
9:54
and so. And then you can just go on
9:56
about the positive things that they brought to the
9:57
organization. And then they'll say, is there
9:59
anything else you'd like me to know?
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Or they'll say, is there anything negative or is there
10:02
any area of opportunity? You can say something that you
10:07
you can just say I'm nothing that comes to mind off the top
10:09
of my head and just leave it at that.
10:12
If you want to really be constructive, you could say
10:15
something that was very mild, like I would have appreciated
10:18
more feedback at times, but I think they were doing the best
10:20
they could with what was on their plate or something.
10:22
But you never want to be. If you're going to give the
10:24
reference, don't be negative. Otherwise just decline it.
10:27
Yeah, I agree with that. I would say 1 trick that you
10:30
could do is go to the manager that wants you to do the
10:34
reference and just say, hey, I want to make sure I'm the right
10:37
person for this. Can you tell me what you want me
10:42
to convey? Like what do you, how do you
10:45
want to show up and let them give you the sound bites?
10:48
And then I'm not saying use the sound bites.
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I'm just saying make sure if you agree with those, then just say
10:55
those, right? And then you can leave off all
10:57
your other feelings. What if you don't?
10:59
What if they say I want them to tell?
11:01
I want you to tell them how hands on I was and it was then
11:04
you go back. Then you just go back to your
11:06
advice. Sometimes though, I think when
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you do that, they like, I want to make sure they know 1-2 and
11:11
three and I'm like, OK, I'm totally fine letting them know
11:14
about 1-2 and three because I actually really didn't like you
11:17
over here and I'm just going to leave that one out.
11:19
So that way it can be kind of a win.
11:21
Win isn't kind of what I've found.
11:22
That's just my trick. It doesn't always work.
11:25
Right. Yeah, just don't lie.
11:26
Don't put yourself in a situation where you're actually
11:28
having to lie to say what I was. Saying honestly, we we had a
11:32
whole episode on Do not lie, Yeah.
11:35
But what was the the real? The real that you put out or
11:37
like you might comment. On it asked me to lie.
11:40
Yes. No, but that, that's the opening
11:42
statement. But then you said you wrote
11:44
something on top of it that was so funny.
11:47
And it's like don't make me lie for you bro or something.
11:50
That was. How it was, how it was so good.
11:52
I love that. That was so good.
11:55
No, I said lie for yourself bro. Lie for yourself, bro.
11:57
Yeah, yeah, I love that. OK, we're moving on.
12:02
All right, good advice here comes #2 this is from a
12:08
voicemail that we received. Hi, Blakely and Heather, I'm an
12:12
educator and I want to tell you, like the corporate world, we
12:16
have similar sticky situations in schools.
12:21
I facilitate a lot of meetings and I actually have a slide in
12:25
my professional development training called.
12:27
Did you just say that? Awesome that.
12:30
Sounds like like an SNL skit. Yeah, did.
12:32
They just say. That did I say that?
12:36
Because it happens more than you'd think.
12:40
Here's mine. I was in a meeting with a
12:42
principal and a parent and the principal looked at the parent
12:47
and said, and I quote. This is a regular school for
12:53
normal students. Your child doesn't belong here.
12:57
Are you flipping kidding me? Wow, are you kidding me?
13:03
Whoa. I am so tired of our education
13:07
system. Keep going, Clay.
13:10
The parent had to stop the meeting and leave the room to
13:14
collect themselves. I'm going to go ahead and say
13:16
that that's fair. Like I think the person went out
13:19
into the hallway and said, did you just say that?
13:22
Yeah, yeah. OK, here's the question.
13:26
My question isn't really about that one moment, though.
13:29
It's bigger than that. How do you create accountability
13:33
when the accountability just doesn't exist?
13:36
In education, Principals don't get held accountable, so
13:39
teachers don't get held accountable.
13:41
So on, so on. Chronically late, chronically
13:44
absent, not teaching, and they're back the next year.
13:48
The principal in my story was finally put on an action plan,
13:53
but he just retired instead. Just, oh, just retired instead.
13:59
Just retired instead. The problem didn't get solved,
14:03
it just left. How do you actually fix a
14:06
culture where the people in charge never experience real
14:10
consequences? Because I'm running out of
14:12
ideas. Please help.
14:14
Yep, that's education. That's business.
14:18
Any workplace well. It, it feels like it that feels
14:24
true and it feels true because so many times that's the way
14:28
things play out and it is true and there and there weren't
14:31
consequences. What's not true is that there
14:34
isn't a system of accountability because in anything like so for
14:39
the school, there's the school board, right?
14:41
There's going to be somebody that you can appeal yourself to
14:47
within a business. There's either going to be a
14:49
board or there's just frankly the law and the court systems
14:52
where you can kind of hold people accountable when you've
14:55
been wronged that way. So I think the biggest thing is
14:58
to step out of the immediate circle that you're in to see
15:03
what what's the context outside of the school or what's that
15:06
next layer out that has accountability either through
15:10
the law or through the structure government, however it may be
15:13
where you can start to leverage and push on different things.
15:17
And it takes a lot of work. I think that's that's the hard
15:20
part because then you're going to be that person that's going
15:23
out, that's starting a petition to get the principal out or you
15:26
know, and when it's coming down to your kid.
15:28
And all we want is the best for our kid and we have to fight for
15:31
them in that system. It's always a balance between
15:34
how hard are you pushing on it and being like the outsider
15:37
that's not moving along, and how hard are you at to what extent
15:41
is that a sacrifice of what your kid is to just go along?
15:44
And that's the only thing that you can do is to decide that
15:47
between your family and what's right for you if you're going to
15:50
stay in that system or remove yourself from it and find a
15:52
different option. Except I agree with that.
15:57
I mean, first of all, that was one of the most like
15:59
dehumanizing comments and horrible, but but the person who
16:03
wrote in is on the staff and it's like the parent left the
16:08
room. And I I agree about the systems
16:11
of accountability, but it's going to be the parent uproar,
16:14
right? Just like in corporate world,
16:16
it's going to be a client that is going to do the uproar and
16:19
that's going to that's going to happen.
16:21
But but as like a teacher or a professional in the school plays
16:26
like you don't have, I don't think sometimes as much power as
16:32
the parents or the clients. So especially at schools where
16:38
like there's tenure and like there's unions.
16:41
Though like there's, there's, there's path, there's pathways
16:45
to make these complaints. And so, but you are limited in
16:49
your power. This teacher could have made a
16:51
complaint and then at that point, it's out of their hands
16:53
of what's going to happen. What's the school board?
16:55
And if they've seen that happen time and time again, I can see
16:58
how disheartening that would be. Yeah.
17:01
And then what if you get like a replacement principal and
17:04
there's still no accountability? Like if you're working in a
17:07
place like I, I see that happen quite a bit.
17:09
Like you just think of this one person gets fired, like all the
17:12
sudden, you know, that team is going to have to be accountable
17:16
for their work or whatever. And sometimes it just never gets
17:19
fixed. Like you sit in these cultures.
17:20
And so like, what agency do you have?
17:23
And I think you have agency here.
17:26
Like, you aren't necessarily going to fix the system.
17:29
And I wouldn't even like waste your time.
17:31
But you can not normalize it and shine light on it.
17:35
And I always think it's about your energy level.
17:38
So if you don't have energy, you're going to kind of sit in
17:42
it and you got to know that you're sitting in it and be OK
17:44
was sitting in it. And so put some boundaries in
17:47
like de stress in other ways. So it doesn't eat you up.
17:50
But if you have energy, like what are all those movies like
17:55
with Robin Williams or stand up and deliver?
17:57
Do you guys remember all those like teacher movies that they
17:59
make like a huge difference? I think the same thing can
18:02
happen in corporate and can happen in education where one
18:06
person, it could be like mental management or, or a teacher can
18:12
start doing things a little differently and stay super true
18:15
to it. And they just do not compromise
18:18
their integrity and they fight and they just keep doing those
18:20
things. And then other people notice and
18:24
they want to be a part of that team and they want to work with
18:26
that person. And I think sometimes if you're
18:29
not exhausted, you can be the change.
18:32
And so I, I don't know, I don't know if she's exhausted or not,
18:35
but but that's another path you can take because yeah, the
18:40
parent, the school boards, the systems, those things take
18:43
years. Like years, yeah.
18:46
So yeah, that's just my little soapbox.
18:49
I love it. Sometimes I'm the change,
18:51
sometimes I'm not. I'm like, whatever.
18:54
And then we talk about shit in the bathroom like that guy's
18:58
such an asshole. Yeah, you can go cry in the
19:00
bathroom. That's an option.
19:02
That was like from 2 episodes ago right?
19:05
Cry in the bathroom. Yeah, and that's OK too.
19:09
So often it comes up on the podcast, the advice that the two
19:14
of you give is do you want to actually take it upon yourself
19:20
to make the change? Like do you, do you want to
19:23
stick around for all of that? Or do you want to get out?
19:27
And this is a really interesting one because they were it, this
19:30
person is clearly invested and they're like they, they do have
19:34
some agency here to actually make that change.
19:38
And so I just really, I, I, I liked that.
19:41
I really appreciated that. That was a good answer for me.
19:45
I had a good answer. Yes, your answer was great.
19:48
Why are you so surprised? Because I don't know.
19:51
Yours are so. Eloquent.
19:52
No, no, no, no. No, I'm glad that you're feeling
19:56
good, Blakely, because it's time for your favorite segment, Rapid
20:00
Fire. See how he just lifted you?
20:02
See how he just lifted you up? I hate it.
20:05
OK, I'm ready. I'm ready this time.
20:07
I'm ready. I'm ready.
20:08
You know what though, We're I'll be the change.
20:11
Sorry, you need to change No. I'm going to beat the change.
20:14
Oh, you're going to. Beat the change.
20:16
In the rapid fire. I already changed this casual
20:19
Friday so I have my denim on. It's not Carhartt because
20:24
Carhartt's not bougie enough for clay.
20:26
So I'm wearing I think Levi's, the Gap, Lucky, more in Lucky
20:31
brand. It's bougie.
20:33
I'm going to pause, feel, and decide to move on from that
20:37
comment. Christie would be so proud of.
20:40
You OK? But wait, wait, wait.
20:42
Can I just bring one more thing? So you know how we read
20:45
Listener? We read Listener letters when we
20:48
get them, and we didn't have one to read this week.
20:50
But I forgot that we do Heather and I got a text from a listener
20:56
that sent a picture of was it his kid Heather?
21:02
That picture, it was his kid, right?
21:05
That he was in Carhartt and he said am I bougie?
21:09
Oh. Yes, that's.
21:10
Right. I love it.
21:13
Yes, it was Daryl. Yeah, but that's his son, right?
21:16
Yeah. So he's like, yeah.
21:18
Like, so am I bougie or nothing? I'm like, I'm showing this to
21:21
Clay. But you know what?
21:23
This. Yeah.
21:24
And Daryl's like one of the bougiest guys on the planet, and
21:27
it's dressing his kid very cute, so.
21:29
Yeah. More proof for us.
21:31
Yeah, more proof. I love it.
21:34
OK, rapid fireman. That was worth it.
21:36
OK, rapid fire. We're doing hot takes, not a yes
21:41
or no. I want to hear what you think.
21:44
We're only going to do 3, so we're giving it a little more
21:47
time this week to each. One, is it open-ended?
21:50
Because I said I would never do that again.
21:52
It's not timed though. Here we go.
21:56
OK, see I didn't answer that. I paused.
21:59
I felt like I shouldn't answer and I decided to move.
22:01
On Be an asshole, OK? Go ahead.
22:04
He's you have no complaint structure here, by the way.
22:07
Like this is just a dead end for you.
22:08
You're just going. To really frustrate.
22:10
Yeah, there's no law that's protecting you here.
22:14
OK, OK, here we go. Hot take.
22:16
Yeah. Should you friend your boss on
22:19
social media? No, no.
22:22
I've definitely done it. I.
22:23
Love it when we agree. Yeah.
22:26
No, unless you're truly like, unless you got invited, like you
22:32
would invite them to your birthday and they would invite
22:34
you to your birthday. Like if you have that kind of
22:36
friendship, right? But otherwise, no.
22:38
Like keep those things separate, you know?
22:41
Yeah, but I've definitely done it though too.
22:43
Like not my boss. Like it's hard to like my boss,
22:45
but like my colleagues. Like I've definitely your
22:47
colleagues are. Fine, like so you're.
22:49
Just saying it's like the boss thing, like.
22:51
I would not friend my boss. Now if my boss friends me, I
22:55
probably would say yes, but I would not friend my boss unless
22:59
I was very good friends with my boss.
23:03
It's a good point because I did that one boss.
23:05
Then he like posted his wedding and it was like him kissing his
23:08
what? I don't know.
23:09
It was just it was weird. It was too, too much.
23:10
I don't want to see that. I don't.
23:12
Want to see that? No, I don't think so.
23:14
OK, like every Valentine's Day, you got to like, like a post.
23:17
Like the love of my life is so hot.
23:21
She's so smoking hot. And I've never been in more in
23:26
love. Is that hard for you to see Nick
23:29
posts? And I understand it.
23:32
I love Nick though. He didn't post that he thinks
23:37
the. Thing here's the thing though,
23:38
is that you know, both of you said no, don't friend your boss
23:42
on social media. It was your initial answer, but
23:45
it's like I mean. It is not a straight up the yes
23:48
or no. It's not.
23:49
It depends on the relationship. Can we just talk about the
23:52
opposite scenario? What if you are the boss and you
23:55
have people trying to friend you?
23:58
That feels awkward too. Like do you accept the friend
24:01
request I? Definitely have all of my old
24:05
employees on social media and even when I was the boss.
24:08
After the company was over, I did, but I did not accept all of
24:12
them. Yeah, while we're at the
24:14
company, I had a private profile, so I'm public now.
24:17
The gotta do it for the show, man.
24:20
But you're right though. I was more after I left than
24:24
before. OK.
24:25
Yeah, that's. The same.
24:26
All right, I took that hot tick and spun it right back at Clay.
24:29
One other pro tip, yes you did, but one other pro tip is there
24:33
are like limitation things you can do too where like you can
24:37
accept the friend request but then choose what level of
24:40
friendship you're willing to share with this person on.
24:45
The That's a generational thing. It's too hard for first Gen.
24:49
social people. Well, you can do the close
24:51
friend thing, right? Yeah, you can do no close
24:54
friends. It's so hard to figure out.
24:56
You can limit what people see, and there's tools out there.
24:59
If people want to go and look it up, there's tools, you're right,
25:01
that can help them get out of sticky situations.
25:04
That will end up on our podcast. There's like, hey everyone, hey
25:07
parents. TikTok has a new teen account.
25:10
Oh my gosh. Safer than ever and I'm like
25:12
bullshit it's safer. They can still lie on their age
25:18
and blah blah blah. For the most part, LinkedIn is
25:21
the most appropriate and nice way to keep in touch with.
25:23
People, there you go. Try to stick to that if you can.
25:26
And moving on. Should here's the next hot take
25:31
rapid fire. Should companies have this is
25:36
the stupidest question. OK, I'm glad we're asking.
25:39
Companies have mandatory fun. Yes, this is actually a real
25:44
issue that happened this. Is a real issue.
25:45
I just mandatory fun is like the worst.
25:50
It's like an oxymoron. Yeah, I can't have mandatory
25:54
fun. You need to have opportunities
25:55
for fun. I think that's a better way to
25:58
say it. Mandatory fun?
26:00
Why aren't you smiling? Well, but do you remember that
26:04
episode where someone wrote in and said their company was
26:07
making them do a dream board like that?
26:10
That felt mandatory and that. Was fun.
26:13
Well, no, it's not fun, but right, That's the same thing,
26:17
right? And so I think we are all of the
26:19
ilk that no, we don't do that. I probably did that though, like
26:23
I really wanted. You have team building events.
26:27
Guys, I was the queen of fucking fun.
26:30
OK? I'm just going to say it.
26:32
You. Are the Queen.
26:33
Of fun I had we had mandatory Cinco de Mayo de we had yes, I'm
26:42
not kidding we. Did you margaritas?
26:49
Well, I can't make people drink, but we did sign a waiver for
26:53
Cinco de Mayo every year and. Well, this is wait, this is the
26:56
crazy thing about Heather. She has mandatory fun.
26:59
She lets you date in the workplace and then get married
27:03
to them, but you have to sign a waiver.
27:06
You have to sign a waiver. Everything is a waiver.
27:08
There's a like a stack of waivers every like.
27:13
And not a single lawsuit, my friend.
27:15
Not a single freaking lawsuit. So.
27:19
You will celebrate the Mexican army defeating the French.
27:24
Yes you will. You must do this.
27:26
Also, sign a waiver because we're all going to be drinking.
27:29
Yes, and then, Oh my gosh, it look, it's a good time.
27:34
And then what? Saint Patrick's Day was
27:37
mandatory green beers and so drinking Culture Christmas it
27:43
will be them. 4 columns. What's that like?
27:45
Spiked Eggnar? OK, like let's name the drinks
27:48
at Heather's Mandatory fun days. Ping pong tournaments?
27:52
Beer pong. Halloween always.
27:54
We did like the tight little tiny tots spider.
27:58
No, you hand out candy for all the kids and then spiked go out
28:01
that night all dressed up in the costumes and the team costumes.
28:06
You got to have fun. You make your team spend
28:09
Halloween night with you. No, because it's never actually
28:13
Halloween. It's just whatever they the, the
28:15
parade was, it was, it was around that time.
28:17
And you know what? I it was we one of our core
28:21
values was. But wasn't mandatory.
28:24
Was like joy or be happy, I can't remember now and I got
28:28
taken down by the company say that they did not want mandatory
28:33
optimism at the company. They wanted people to be able to
28:36
be pissed at their own will whenever they wanted.
28:39
So, but that's just happened. Anyway, but that just happens
28:42
anyway. The values are they're they're,
28:44
they are optimistic in and of themselves.
28:46
It's something you're aspiring to.
28:48
They're aspirational. It's not like everyone walks
28:50
around joyful. That would be annoying.
28:51
Slaps. We had to change it from joy to
28:54
like energy and I actually ended up really liking the definition
28:57
of it, but I do think it missed the spirit behind.
29:05
Well, I let the value, I let the employees choose the values
29:08
every year. I'm sorry, what?
29:10
We would have new values every year.
29:11
Yep. They didn't get to choose the
29:13
mission and vision, but they got to choose the values.
29:15
And that is a vote. Really interesting philosophy
29:18
that I don't think we have time to unpack.
29:21
But that is an episode because that's really, I really have to
29:25
understand it. I don't agree.
29:27
OK, I would love. I would love to understand.
29:30
This argument I can, I can just I'll wipe the floor with it.
29:34
No, it's an opinion. No whatever.
29:37
It's a competition and I'm going to win.
29:39
No, they got to be bought in. How can you get them to be?
29:41
They got to be bought in Blakely.
29:43
No. To the values.
29:45
Hiring people that match the culture.
29:48
What in your 32nd interview of them?
29:50
You know they lost. The values I.
29:52
Don't questions revolt around? Everybody's going to bullshit
29:56
you in a question. Test for the.
29:58
Bullshit. Clay is.
29:59
Save me you had. Tests for the values of whether
30:02
or not they hit it, like a personality test.
30:05
You literally just said we don't have time to get into this.
30:08
And then? About it.
30:10
You couldn't help yourselves. It's a future episode, which was
30:13
great all. Right.
30:15
But I'm stopping you. OK, fine.
30:18
You started this, Clay. Yeah, it's your fault, Yes.
30:21
Blame you, I don't. Want to be a blamer?
30:23
I'm so sorry, Clay. It's your fault, Clay.
30:25
Too late. It's recorded and it's going
30:27
public. But I'm all about fun.
30:30
As long as it's mandatory. Drinks.
30:35
We do need to do a drinking casual.
30:37
Friday next time. OK.
30:38
But it has to it will be mandatory that you show up with
30:41
a drink and but we will be signing waivers.
30:44
Right. All right, last last one and
30:47
then we're out. OK, hot episode, last one.
30:50
Yeah, be honest. OK.
30:54
Should you tell someone they have food in their teeth during
30:58
a presentation? Oh my gosh, this is like the
31:01
fart question that we had a few months ago where like someone
31:06
has something in their teeth the whole time and I don't say
31:08
something and then someone else said something and I'm like, oh,
31:10
I didn't see it. What a bitch I am.
31:13
That's. Terrible.
31:14
Oh my. God, Heather, do you you
31:16
Dracula? What?
31:17
What are you talking about? That's it.
31:23
It's so gross. It's supposed to.
31:25
And you did it on the episode where your camera is like.
31:30
I don't even know what it is. I can't see.
31:33
It's a post it gross fell ahead. Yes, you tell them and here was
31:39
some advice that someone gave me once.
31:42
If the person has control to fix it, you tell them.
31:45
If they don't, they don't and what they meant by that.
31:46
Like if they were going on stage and this is back when like
31:50
people were women were pantyhose, stockings, whatever,
31:54
and you had a run in your pantyhose.
31:56
If they were like like literally 30 seconds away from giving the
32:01
talk and they had the run, you don't tell them.
32:03
You just let them go so they don't have to think about it and
32:05
obsess about the whole time. But if you noticed it backstage
32:09
before you tell them, let him take off the pantyhose or, you
32:12
know, fix the run. Same thing.
32:15
Like if they're in the mid speech, I don't know, I don't
32:17
think I would tell him and I duck it, But it's like if it's a
32:21
board room and you're like, hey, hey.
32:24
And then they go like, over here, you're like, no, here, you
32:27
know, I think it's OK. What?
32:32
What's staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?
32:34
Yes, I didn't want to say anything.
32:36
No. Well, the worst thing is when
32:38
you do then go to the bathroom, then you see it and you're like,
32:40
oh, why didn't someone tell me? I know.
32:42
And then you have that embarrassing part.
32:44
So I will always tell, but I don't I'm not weird and like
32:47
super secret about it. I just be like, hey, quickly,
32:49
you got some OK, let's move on. Like the more the bigger deal,
32:52
you make it like, hey, oh, no, you got it.
32:54
And then you're like what? And it's like this big deal
32:56
where it's just like, hey, you have something here, OK, Because
32:58
everyone else is looking at it, thinking about it.
33:01
So let's just let's just get it out and move on.
33:03
I appreciate it when people do that to me.
33:05
This is why I don't eat salads in the workplace.
33:08
I if I do eat a salad in the workplace, I'll ask the person
33:11
next to me do I have my teeth. I did it the other night at that
33:15
dinner because it was all like this, really good, but it had
33:18
like cilantro, which is the worst.
33:20
For that, it's kind of it's going to get ready in there.
33:22
Yeah. And so I'll just be like, hey,
33:24
am I good? And I like, yeah.
33:24
And then you know what they say every time after that.
33:27
Check me. Yes, am I?
33:30
And so it's just this mutual little partnership and then also
33:33
boom, another little bond, you know?
33:36
See what I did there? I used hot takes to bring us
33:39
together. You tried to separate.
33:41
You tried to argue. We're.
33:43
Definitely gonna no, that is another episode.
33:45
We didn't argue. What are you talking about?
33:47
About the values. About the values.
33:49
That wasn't arguing. I don't.
33:50
Know how? She doesn't want her employees
33:52
to have any say in anything. She wants them to show up as
33:54
like robots. Do you fit in my box or don't
33:56
you? If you don't, you're not welcome
33:57
and here's a test to see if you fit in my box.
34:00
OK, we're not ending the episode on that.
34:05
OK, then let me tell. You have a comeback right now,
34:07
but I'm going to have. One of let me tell you, I'm
34:09
teasing, you know I love you and I will respect your your thought
34:12
too my friends. It's OK.
34:14
I'm excited to talk about it and I'm going to bring in an expert.
34:16
OK, can I tell a very fast, most embarrassing story of something
34:21
falling off? OK so my friend was walking
34:24
through an airport back in the pantyhose days.
34:26
This made me remind you of it. She had a silk pants suit on and
34:30
this woman is very well respected.
34:33
Now I cannot say her name. She was running through the
34:35
Chicago O'Hare airport about to miss a flight.
34:38
She had all of her stuff and all of a sudden her feet are like
34:41
shuffling boom boom and her silk pants had fallen to her ankles
34:46
but she had pantyhose on so she couldn't.
34:48
Feel it. Until the pants were already
34:51
down. Thank you.
34:56
She shovelled her way over to the chair.
34:58
This sweet little old lady. And she just said help me my
35:01
pants. Just.
35:02
Fell down and then this sweet old lady looked at her and she
35:06
said it's OK dear. Not many people saw it was so
35:10
sweet. She had to make her feel better.
35:17
Oh so. Good things that happen to
35:19
people. We're all human.
35:20
We're all those. Human.
35:21
Can that please make the episode?
35:23
Yeah, it's. Great.
35:25
OK, well you made it to the end of the episode.
35:28
If you're watching this or listening to this, we want to
35:29
hear from you. If you have a sticky situation
35:32
that can be covered on this podcast or you think maybe it
35:35
can't, try us, We'll say it's a nominate.
35:39
We'll say, we'll say. We'll say it's anonymous.
35:44
We don't have to use your name, just give us the hot stuff.
35:47
Yes. We want to hear and also people
35:50
are dying at home to hear what sticky situation you have on
35:54
your mind. You can go to not all dot biz
35:57
and submit that sticky situation today.
36:00
So go do that. And also, you know, in the in
36:02
the hot take round, did you think Blakely was super messed
36:06
up when she said that one thing? Or do you think that Heather
36:09
needs to get her eyes checked like I do?
36:11
No, don't invite trolls. For engagement, we're looking
36:17
for engagement. No, not that kind of engagement.
36:20
I'm thin skinned. Come on, keep going.
36:22
Drop a comment in the comments, we want to hear from you and
36:26
maybe it'll make an episode. So thanks for listening.
36:29
You can see us next week with another episode of Not All
36:32
Business. Thanks for tuning in.
36:34
We'll see you then. All right, see you then.
36:37
I don't what's happening with my hands.