Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 42 - Want to Be Happy? Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

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Ep. 42 - Want to Be Happy? Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified Life and Wellness Coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I am Comedy Wood and I'm absolutely thrilled that you've taken a few moments of your day to spend with me.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned on our previous episode, we're talking about how do we cultivate happiness.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: This has really become a topic of conversation with many of the clients that I work with, as well as even the people that have reached out to me to inquire about coaching with me.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's become a common theme of how do I, how do I get happy?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: How do I find happiness?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: How do I stay engaged in my everyday?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to take a few episodes to really dedicate to different ways that we can cultivate happiness.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: What happiness habits could we put into place in order to really find true happiness for ourselves?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And as I mentioned last time, oftentimes we look to others to create a sense of happiness for us, or we look to our work to create happiness for us, or we look, we look somewhere outside of ourselves, which at times can work.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: They can create a sense of joy.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Do not dispute that.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: However, when our happiness is only cultivated externally to us, we are dependent upon those external factors to continue to exist.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, we don't have control over whether or not those external things are still going to be there.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's equally important to be able to learn how to cultivate happiness from the inside out.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: How do we come from that self-sourced place of happiness?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday we were talking about being present and really being mindful.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I want to just talk about comparison.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, honestly, when we sit in a world of comparison and we're constantly scrolling through social media and looking at other people's posts that they have and then thinking to ourselves, oh, you know, she or he has that, but I don't, or look at how they how they conduct themselves.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not like that.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we just sit in that place of comparison, you know, it our self-esteem takes a hit, our self-confidence takes a hit.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And when that happens, it's really difficult to get into that, into that happy, happy place.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's our happiness essentially goes down the drain.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, I mean, I'm there are plenty of surveys out there, but a lot of them have shown that social media, while it can promote moments of connectedness, it can also promote feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just because there is this comparison mode that we tend to get into when we're when we're scrolling and we're and we're somewhat mindless when we do it, but we're scrolling and we just internalize and we we end up having that inner critic tell us how we are not as good as or equal to somebody else.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it and it continues to nudge it us and pock poke and prod us to to compare ourselves and to honestly seek validation from others.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we go and we'll post and then we keep looking to see how many people have liked the post or how many people have commented, and that's just that consistently looking external for ourselves for that validation or for you know whether or not we're meeting up and and meeting up with others around us.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it ends up um really taking up, it can cause feelings of anxiety, it can cause feelings of envy, dissatisfaction.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said before, it our self-esteem takes a hit when we do that.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we let go of comparison?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we have to become aware of situations that sometimes trigger us into those moments of comparison.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And as we become more aware of that and we acknowledge that that's the trigger for us, we can then make a commitment to ourselves of whether or not we're going to engage in that same activity, or whether maybe we have to shift how we participate in that activity.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so for instance, maybe it means taking a break from social media, or maybe it just means being very conscious of how many times we go on social media, for instance.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's about reminding ourselves that somebody else's outside appearance really has no reflection on our internal worth, our who we are.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Our core value is not dependent upon how somebody else shows up in the world or how somebody else looks in the world.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Our core value and our core worth is ours.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we just have to stop using others as a mirror for our own success.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's about really recognizing who we are is this gift to the world.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we can break this habit of comparing ourselves, we can we can, you know, recognize and really be very aware of the talk that we're having with ourselves and allow ourselves to um break that that connection to um our worth being compared to somebody else's.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to start cultivating happiness with ourselves, it allows us to really enjoy and embrace who we are.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So as a challenge for you today, I would ask that you pay attention to those moments when you might be triggered into comparison.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And just for today, see if you can can can shift those thoughts.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: See if you can notice them and when they happen, don't judge yourself, be compassionate and say, Oh, there's that comparison, and then see if you're able to shift it from comparing yourself to somebody else into really having gratitude and really embracing who you are and what you bring to this world.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, I am Comedy Wood.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.