Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Big Rick's Madder Than A Jalapeño Horsefly

Transcript

Phone Tap: Big Rick's Madder Than A Jalapeño Horsefly · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What do you do if one of your coworkers is
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: totally bored with work and is saying that he wants
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: to quit?
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Have you guys been listening in on my condos?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not bored. You spice things up a bit and
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: you ask us to prank them at work.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: That's the solution. We'll show you bored. That's a good
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: reason to do this.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Luckily, I know the exact person who should call this
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: guy up to light a fire and get him excited
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: about his job again.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: His name is Big Rick.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: So let's hear his customer service complaint in your phone
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: tap right now.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: By customer service, this is Eric.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: How can I help you?
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Why, hello there, friend.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: My name is Richard Cornelius Haberdashery III, but my friends
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: call me Big Rick.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Uh, how are you doing today, sir?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: How can I help you?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Well, let me tell.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You, I came in recently and bought myself a brand
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: new fancy schmancy microwave.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: One of them plug-in microwave ovens. You know about them microwaves, friend? Um, yeah,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I know about microwaves.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: They've been around for quite some while now.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you, your microwave tried to kill me.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: There was almost a murder about. A real-life whodunit, if
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: you will. But I know whodunit, and it's that microwave.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: So if I'm understanding you correctly, your microwave tried to
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: murder you.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Why, yes, indeed it did.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: And I came in there trying to return it earlier
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: this week, have the receipt in hand.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, so you already went into the store, and what
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: did they say to you then?
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I said an employee told me negative.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I said they said no.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I was madder than a puffed toad choking on a
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: jalapeno horse fly. From your story here, you went into
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: the store and you were denied a refund in return.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: And what was the reason for them denying this? I'm
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: glad you asked, friend.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Let me ask a quick question. Have you ever, I say,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: have you ever heard of a thing.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Called a tick-a-tock? So I think we're getting a little
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: off track here. What does that have to do with
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: this broken microwave? Okay, well, I was on the talk
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: watching one of them life hacks. Have you ever heard
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: of a hack of life, sir? Right, yeah, sure.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: And apparently, some fella said, if you want to eat
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: some frozen chili ice.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Cream, and Big Rick likes me some ice cream.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I tell you, I was.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: So hungry, I could have eaten the north end of
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: a southbound Billy Goat, okay?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: But it was frozen solid.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, sir, I'm really trying to be of assistance here,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: so I need you to get.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Back to the story about the microwave here.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I say, I am getting to it if you
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: would just hold your horses kindly. Some fella on the
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: hack said, all you gotta do is just, you gotta
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: warm up, you gotta heat your spoon.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Please don't tell me you put the spoon in the microwave.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Great minds do think alike, because that is exactly what
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I did. Well, I see, and I just bought this
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: new fancy heater-upper.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Wait.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: And I put it in there for three minutes, and
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: that darn thing almost blew straight off. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: In fact, it did, friend. It was sparking and smoking.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: This is why they didn't take your return.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: You can't put metal in a microwave.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: It sure can go in there. There was plenty of
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: room in there. No, no, no.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I don't think you understand. Like, you can't put metal
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: in a microwave and turn it on.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: What kind of voodoo witchcraft do you got going on
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: there in that box?
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: It's not voodoo. It's just science.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you what. I got me a good
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: notion to call me daddy. Bigger Rick.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: He's going to sue your pants clean off.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: You're going to get a lawyer because you put a
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: spoon in one of our microwaves? Did I, boy, did
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I say, did I, did I stutter, friend? Because I
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: want you to prepare yourself for a legal battle over
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: $ 10 million.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Thanks to emotional damage, friend.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I'm putting this all down in the notes here, and
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll get back to you right away.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, good.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Write all that down and make sure your friend Theo
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: also reads that note.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Wait, Theo who? Wait, Theo who?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Your co-worker who set you up for the prank, the prank,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: the fake, the.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Prank, the phone tap.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Wait, what?
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about the phone tap you're a part of
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: right now. This is actually Jose from Brooke and Jeffrey
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: in the morning, man.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Well, technically, I am kidding you.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Your friend Theo says you've been super bored at the
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: store lately, so he wanted me to spice up your life.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Friend, and here I am.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: That call was probably one of the most frustrating calls
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I've had to do, and I've been here for about
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: five years.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Well, you tried. Now, can you help me fix the
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: outlet in my wall? I have put a fork in it.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: And it is no longer working, friend.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I think at this point, you should just not be
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: able to handle silverware. Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.