Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Build Influence Without Authority
Transcript
- Lucas: You're officially a manager. You have a title, a team, maybe even a little budget. But two weeks in, you realize the people you need to get something done — they don't report to you. Luna: Right. The engineers, the designers, the legal team — they're all on other org charts. And you can't just tell them what to do. Lucas: Exactly. And this is the moment where a lot of new managers hit a wall. They think authority comes with the promotion. But in most modern organizations, real work happens across teams. So influence — not authority — is the actual currency. Luna: So how do you build that influence when you're the new person and you don't have a track record yet? Lucas: I want to anchor this in a specific case. A product manager at Microsoft — let's call her Priya — got promoted to lead a new cross-functional initiative. She had to coordinate with three engineering teams, two design leads, and a marketing director. None of them worked for her. And she had ninety days to ship a pilot. Luna: That's a lot of cooks in the kitchen. And I'm guessing ordering people around didn't work. Lucas: It didn't. She told me the first week she tried to assign tasks like she had authority — and people just ignored her. Engineers had their own backlogs. Design had their own priorities. She realized she needed a different approach. Luna: So what did she do? Lucas: She started with what Allan Cohen and David Bradford call 'the law of reciprocity' in their book 'Influence Without Authority.' The idea is simple: you have to find out what the other person needs and help them get it, before you ask for something in return. Luna: So it's basically trading favors, but in a strategic way. Lucas: Exactly. Priya did three specific things. First, she identified each stakeholder's 'pain point.' The engineering lead was worried about technical debt. The design lead wanted recognition from leadership. The marketing director needed data to justify her campaign spend. Luna: And she addressed those pain points before asking for anything? Lucas: Yes. For the engineering lead, she offered to help prioritize a refactor that had been stuck for months. For design, she made sure their work was featured in the company-wide demo. For marketing, she pulled together user research data that made the campaign numbers look better. Luna: That's really smart. But it also sounds like a lot of work upfront. Lucas: It is. But the payoff is huge. Within three weeks, those stakeholders started proactively offering to help with her pilot. They saw her as someone who made their lives easier, not someone who added to their to-do list. Luna: Okay, so step one is find their pain point and help. What's step two? Lucas: Step two is using data to create a shared language. Priya realized that each team had their own metrics — engineering cared about latency, design cared about usability scores, marketing cared about conversion. She built a simple dashboard that showed how each metric influenced the others. Luna: So she made the trade-offs visible. Lucas: Exactly. When the engineering lead wanted to cut a feature to improve latency, Priya could show how that would drop the usability score by 15 percent. That made the conversation objective instead of personal. Luna: I love that. I once had a manager who tried to influence without data — she just kept saying 'this is important' and people rolled their eyes. Lucas: Right. Data gives you credibility. And it's especially powerful for new managers because you don't have a reputation yet. Numbers are neutral. Luna: What's the third step? Lucas: Step three is the one Priya almost skipped: investing in one-on-one relationships before you need something. She started scheduling fifteen-minute coffee chats with each stakeholder — no agenda, just getting to know them. Luna: That sounds obvious, but I bet a lot of new managers skip it because they're too busy. Lucas: They do. And Priya admitted that in her first week, she thought those chats were a waste of time. But after she hit resistance, she went back and did them. And she found out that the marketing director had a kid in the same school as hers. That small connection made future negotiations much smoother. Luna: So it's not just about business favors — it's about human connection. Lucas: Exactly. Cohen and Bradford call that 'personal currency.' It's the goodwill you build when people like you and trust you. And for a new manager, that's often the most important currency you have. Luna: I want to push back a little, though. What if you're in a situation where the other person has no incentive to help you? Like, they're overloaded or they're competing for the same promotion? Lucas: That's a real scenario. And in that case, you might need to escalate or reframe the project in terms of organizational goals. But even then, having the relationship first makes that conversation easier. Luna: Fair. I guess the alternative — trying to force cooperation — usually backfires. Lucas: It does. And that's the core lesson. Influence without authority isn't about manipulation. It's about understanding what drives other people and aligning your ask with their interests. Luna: If this episode helped you think about a cross-functional challenge you're facing, we do have a small ask. This show is ad-free and listener-supported. If today's conversation was worth a coffee to you, you can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: And we genuinely mean that — a little goes a long way in keeping these episodes coming. But back to Priya's story: by the end of her ninety days, she shipped the pilot on time, and three of her stakeholders volunteered to work with her on the next phase. Luna: That's a great outcome. And I think the framework she used is really repeatable: find the pain point, use data to create shared language, and invest in relationships early. Lucas: Exactly. And if you're a new manager listening, try this: this week, pick one stakeholder you need something from. Don't ask for anything. Just find out what they care about and help them with it. See what happens. Luna: I might try that myself. Thanks, Lucas. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. And thanks to Priya for sharing her story.