Latest / This Is My Journey | The GLP-1 Podcast / S2 E9: The Truth About Support on a Weight Loss Journey – Friends, Change & What People Don’t Say (with Emma Cottey & Rue Ndabaline)

Transcript

S2 E9: The Truth About Support on a Weight Loss Journey – Friends, Change & What People Don’t Say (with Emma Cottey & Rue Ndabaline) · This Is My Journey | The GLP-1 Podcast

• 0:00
  Support can make or break your journey because when you're going through a transformation, whether that's weight loss, health, or just trying to better yourself, it's not just about what you're doing. It's about who's around you, why you're doing it. You know, the people that support you, the people who don't understand you, and the people who maybe change how they treat you as you change.
• 0:18
  And in today's episode, I'm doing something a little bit different. My friends are coming over from England to Northern Ireland, and I'm sitting down with them to have a real honest conversation about our journeys and the role that our friends, family and support systems play in whether we succeed or struggle on this journey, because this isn't just about weight loss. It's about relationships, identity, and how your life shifts when you start changing. So let's roll the intro and I'll introduce you to today's episode.
• 0:50
  Welcome to This Is My Journey, the podcast where real people share real stories of transformation, resilience, and growth. I'm Mark, and after navigating my own path through major lifestyle change, I created this space to open up honest conversations around identity,
• 1:08
  mindset, and what it really takes to evolve. So along the way, we'll also hear from professionals, from pharmacists to psychologists and fitness experts who help us make sense of the science and support behind these journeys. So whether you're just starting out deep in the process or you're finding your footing after big change, you are not alone. This is your place. This is my journey. Let's walk it together.
• 1:35
  Welcome back to This Is My Journey. I am so delighted. I have had a full weekend with my lovely friends from social media and TikTok and Instagram, Rue and Emma. And we've known each other now for a little just over a year. And it's been a blossoming friendship through that whole time. And yeah, I think I'm so excited to do this conversation. We really are just planned to do this for a long time. And I think it's...
• 2:04
  something that is really needed and hopefully everybody will want to listen to and us talking about how support has been such a massive part of our journeys and the support of your friends, the support of your family, all that lovely stuff. So thank you so much for doing the podcast with me ladies. You're absolutely welcome. You're welcome.
• 2:23
  So I have a load of questions and I've thought about them and I was thinking we could take a few of them each and we'll just ask each other and just, you know, just let people, I suppose, see how much I think the support of friendship and family support is a real thing.
• 2:43
  critical part of this journey and past being for me so yeah I think probably take us all back to what was well I'll start what was the lowest point before starting my journey that kind of led to me starting and it was obviously the doctor telling me I wasn't going to make it to 40 potentially if I continued on the route that I was on so yeah that was that was my big turning point what was your truth
• 3:09
  I think for me there was almost like two lowest points really. I think one of them I've spoken about before. One being where I actually passed out at work and then, you know, we're having to call paramedics for me, like my blood pressure was, I think one of the paramedics said that was blood pressure for somebody who was literally going to pass away. And, you know, at that time I just thought, it's just worse, like, you know, I'll be fine, I'll do something, but then I didn't do anything about it, you know, it's almost like it fell on deaf ears.
• 3:34
  And then a few months after that at home, it was well after midnight, I think, and just went downstairs and I collapsed. And I think TMS had had me falling and I was alert, but not really alert. And, you know, I passed out in a way and she had to call 99 for me. So I think hearing at that time, she was just a little of 11, I think.
• 3:57
  hearing her saying my name, our home address, and saying she's not... All those things for a child. I was like, no, that's not going to do. That really scared me. The thought of leaving her, I suppose, on her own, that scared me. And I think a few weeks after that, I went to my GP, and then they advised me what to do. And here we are. Oh, your guys' stories are so deep, and mine starts at Peppa Pig World.
• 4:25
  So my lowest point was on a family trip. So I have two young daughters and one of them wanted to go on a roller coaster just out of Peppa Pig World. So I took her on that and I had been quite anxious thinking like, oh, am I going to be okay getting in this ride? And my husband had been on it and he was like, don't worry, it's massive, the seats are huge, you'll be absolutely fine. So I went on there and guess what? Yeah.
• 4:48
  I was really struggling to get into the seat. There was two members of staff that were shoving this seat closed and they just managed to click it closed. But as you can imagine, then I was really panicking all the way around the ride. And all I could think of on this ride was, oh my goodness, my daughter is five. I would have had to explain to my five-year-old daughter that we couldn't go on this ride. She wouldn't understand. And then she would have missed out on this nice experience just because of me and various choices that I've made.
• 5:13
  so yeah I didn't enjoy the ride and I remember getting up and in my haste to get out of the seat I ended up really hurting my knee like I bashed my knee and then for the next few days or like every time I looked down I got a big bruise on my knee I just thought it just reminded me back but in a way I'm really glad that that was there because it meant that that feeling then carried on until I got home and I thought right this is something that I need to change for my children and for me.
• 5:37
  No, they are so personal stories and so different too. Like, you know, yours is really, you know, they're both emotional, but, you know, obviously Emma's personality is coming out there, you know, the comedy queen. But, but yeah. So I'm going to ask both of you this question, like, what's something that you've struggled with that you never actually told anyone at the time?
• 5:59
  I think for me, the biggest struggle was just trying to understand and navigate the world of Munjaro at a time when it was very new. And the research element and trying to find the right way, I suppose, where I'd be starting and trying to work out where was the legitimate place to start and all that kind of thing. But I think once I kind of got into the swing of things and, you know, had done that research, because that's such a key part of being on this journey and starting, I think that was really...
• 6:27
  you know that set me up for success in a way and I think there's so many people that maybe just wing it and start and don't actually do that research and the research can really help you in the results that you are wanting to achieve and all that so yeah what about you Emma? Probably the stigma and dare I say the shame of oh my goodness I cannot believe it has come to a point where I need to inject myself as part of my health journey which now feels like second nature
• 6:57
  because it's just that much ingrained into my weekly routine. But at the time, I didn't know a single person on it. I mean, we're going back to spring 2024. I don't think it had been out very long. And I had nobody to ask. I had nobody to get any guidance from other than, you know, things that I could find on the internet. And so it just felt...
• 7:14
  so extreme even when it started to work I just remember thinking like like being really self-conscious you know if I was to ever explain myself and almost a bit like when I would talk about you know how I was doing my health journey almost a bit like defensive before I even began so yeah I definitely struggle with that and that and I'm glad that that I'm past that now but it was such a huge thing at the beginning yeah
• 7:36
  I think for me, I think I felt like a failure. And the reason I'm saying that is because I had tried so many things before and even actually being on the NHS weight loss program, a different one for about over two years.
• 7:51
  And because I was just not moving, like nothing was happening. And whenever I went for these weekly meetings and four-weekly checkups, you know, it would be a case of what have you written? Where are you? What are you doing? And it just almost felt like all the time when I went there, I felt like I'd failed. And I'd done that for over two years. And, you know, when I then found this, I was like...
• 8:11
  Is it going to work? Because it felt like I'd done that whole stretch with no results. And it felt like each time I spoke to, you know, at that time my GP or the nutritionist, their words towards me felt like I was doing something wrong. And then I think this is why when I started MJ, it was like, it was here in my mind, am I going to fail? Am I going to fail? So that thing of being a failure has always been one of the things I've really, like, I think it's hurt me more than I could say, you know, and it's only saying it now with you guys, I'm like, you know what?
• 8:38
  I'm getting quite emotional. Failing is something that I've always been scared of. I'm here now. Well, you didn't fail. Okay, let's go on the next question then. Next one. The next question. And this one is all about me. Okay, as always.
• 9:01
  So have you noticed any changes in me, you know, in the time that we've been friends that maybe I might not have even realized myself? Definitely. 100%. 100% your confidence from the start. Like I remember doing videos together at the very, very start last January. And just your confidence, if you look back to them videos to now is just booming and not in a bad way and a really lovely...
• 9:27
  like, just, you're just so much happier in yourself and then you just lose that from your personality, even in your dress sense and everything and how you're, you know, addressing your body and all, you just, you're just losing that lovely confidence. It's so nice to see.
• 9:43
  And girl, wow. I heard you say it that way because, you know, I know it's not like your natural thing to be sexy and sassy. But girl, you've got it on, honey. I'm telling you. I have seen a different side to Emma, you know, and it's so nice to see you utilising your beautiful clothes and your little tush. And it's right, girls. We have to show that off. So it's nice to say that for you, Emma, and please keep doing it. Keep showing it off. Oh, thanks, guys. We should open this up to you guys as well. I mean, it's not a joke about me, but...
• 10:15
  For me, I think one of the biggest changes that I've noticed within myself is I'm no longer in my own shadow. And that for me is a big thing. It's, you know, a girl in power. I always want as a woman for you not to be behind someone else. Not in a bad way. It's just, I think, for the longest time being overweight. You know, I was hiding behind smiles, hiding behind the jokes. And, you know, always being the one, like a purchase, I would rather be the busy one and not wanting to photograph. I would rather be all around. But it's like, yeah, I'm not in any shadow, honey.
• 10:44
  I'm out. I'm out. It's funny you say that because that's one thing that I've noticed about you. I think that you come across like so much like calmer, more serene. Obvious is still with the russas because, you know, that's just ingrained, isn't it? But to me, you just seem more at peace with you. Thank you. Oh my God, that's beautiful. Thank you.
• 11:01
  Yeah, that's lovely. I think definitely probably for me it's probably confidence as well. I think I would have been a confident person before or faked confidence is probably the right way to say it. But yeah, I definitely think never would I have ever thought I would have done the social media thing and documented my journey online and all because I never felt that confident that I wanted to publicly document
• 11:27
  do stuff like that. I always wanted to, I think, just from, because obviously, you know, when it's your career and stuff and all that, you're working on it. But anyway, you don't really think like, oh, why would people be interested? But actually, and I think it's probably one of my most proudest moments because, you know, it's slightly off topic or off question, but I think it's,
• 11:47
  you know, being able to channel that confidence into doing, you know, content and stuff that actually helps people. And, you know, that's why, that's why we all still do what we do because we're all doing that content. And I think it's so, it's so,
• 12:02
  I think it's so important to keep doing it because actually when you see how many people that it's actually helping, I think it's really, it's heartwarming for us as people and heartwarming for me. But also, you know, there's so many people's lives are being changed just because they can relate to your experiences and stuff like that. So eternally grateful for being able to build that confidence and, you know, just from sharing my story. And I think that's, yeah, that's probably the biggest thing.
• 12:30
  One thing that I've noticed with you, Mark, is that you have, it's like some in the last six months or so, I've noticed like your almost goofy side coming out, that sense of fun. And I wonder if maybe before we could be a bit self-conscious, not wanting to look silly. And of course you don't look silly in any of our videos. But, you know, like I've noticed like sometimes like maybe you are able to like poke a bit of fun and just let that fun side out. And I suppose it's a little bit easier when you're feeling a bit more confident in yourself.
• 12:58
  No, definitely. I think, yeah, it's just about feeling more confident in your body. And I think that's the key to all that. So yeah, what does for you both, I'll not answer this one, I'll leave it to you. What does support actually look like to you? And did you feel like you got it or you didn't get it? And I'm not just talking about from...
• 13:20
  a provider point of view i'm talking about family friends you know how you know did you get that support from from them types of people you know because you do hear so many people that are secret jabbers and don't want to tell their partners or you know family members that they're they're on this medication and for me you know i don't think there's any shame in it but you know for a lot of people there is shame in it and what's your kind of take on it
• 13:43
  I think for me, it's linked to two things. Like, okay, support being one, and the other one is acceptance. I think the minute I accepted that I needed help, in a way, and I always say this, understanding my why, that then literally steered me on. I've been, I would say probably 90% I've had support from family because I think having lost my parents, and both linked to health reasons, to be honest, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been,
• 14:11
  It was one of those things that I knew I had to do anyway. So even like with my sisters, my whole family, you know, and the closest friends that I have, they have supported me. But then it's always been that 10% of, I would say, sorry, the negative Nellies. And it's like, but I think on that part, it's probably lack of understanding from people.
• 14:27
  And yes, maybe behind closed doors, it's true, like, sometimes I question myself as I'm like, is that how they see me? Is that how the person sees me? Like, it's a shortcut and I'm wasting time, all those things. But then I quickly come to the realization as to why am I doing this? So I think I have been lucky that I've had support. I think because I'm such a stubborn person with myself.
• 14:47
  I ain't going to allow myself to listen because I know who I am and I know why I'm doing this. Or really, for me, it's been positive in a way. And I know that there's been people, like I said, I'm not as lucky as I am, but I'm grateful. So if there's anyone out there who feels like, you know, there's no support, just understand your why. You understand your why, nothing else will matter. It's that simple.
• 15:06
  I think for me, one thing that's interesting is that, so I received a lot of support, like an overwhelming amount of support. And all of those things I was talking about earlier that I was thinking in my head about the shame and the guilt and do I need to go this far? Nobody, none of my close family or friends have ever
• 15:23
  kind of suggested that or made me feel that way. It was all internal to me. And I didn't tell anybody for a couple of months other than my husband. And I think, because I was worried that maybe they would think that, but actually everybody has been fantastic. So it just says to me that it was all inside and that actually, I suppose people love me and care for me and want me to be healthy. So they want that. However, I do that. And I know that there are now other family and friends that
• 15:49
  are on the same journey themselves and part of that will be from seeing what's how I've done it which is obviously lovely but yeah it just it's just interesting the contrast of how I felt inside I suppose we are all our worst critic aren't we and actually everybody has been fab
• 16:04
  I completely agree with everything that you are saying there because that's exactly how my experience has been as well with acceptance. And, you know, for you guys too, like the support from the community, the support from the friends and family, you know, we've made online because that's why we have continued to do what we've done has been because of.
• 16:21
  you know, the friendships we've formed, the friendships online that we've formed, and there's such a great power in that. I think it's great. And I would say it's the reason we still do what we do. But yeah, I suppose to finish up before we, I know it's only going to be a short one, but what, now that we're in a different place, obviously we're all feeling sexy, feeling confident, feeling, loving ourselves, loving our bodies. But,
• 16:45
  What are you most proud of and what still feels unfinished for you? I'm going to start with Ru.
• 16:52
  I am proud of staying the course. I am proud of saying, girl, you've got it. I am proud of saying, girl, it's your time. I am proud of saying, girl, you're winning. I'm proud of, girl, you are an absolute queen. You know, because it's not over yet, is it really? Because for me, I still have quite, you know, a way to go. So yeah, I'm proud of that. I'm proud of the resilience in me. Thank God for being stubborn because that's still helping me move forward. You know, yeah.
• 17:21
  Oh man, how do I follow on from that? You need to go, I'm a queen. I am queen of the universe. There you go. She topped it.
• 17:34
  So I suppose to be what am I proud? I am proud that I actually got to where I wanted to be because to my target as it is, because actually I've never done that in my whole life. I've never. There's always been something that's happened. And so it's been nearly two years now. And I have had things that's happened in my life. I've been on about 11 billion holidays, which we just...
• 17:54
  usually be something that would throw me off. And I've always just come straight back, got back on with the good habits that I've already built, which is something that I found near on impossible in the past. So I am actually proud that this time I've managed to stay focused and think about the
• 18:12
  But for me, like the unfinished part is definitely my fitness journey. And obviously you guys know that I spent a lot of time exercising. And I think in the past, in terms of exercise, I've always seen it as a means to an end. Right. I need to do A to get to B. But actually, I'm really enjoying. And that's part of it. If there's anybody out there that's struggling with exercise, it really is just about finding what you enjoy doing. What makes you think, oh, OK, I've got exercise later and I don't mind that I have that.
• 18:42
  That must be rare. But, you know, and for me, it's this time, it's like, right, how can I better myself? How can I better my fitness? How can I better my muscle mass? Things like that. And that's something that I've never had. And for me, that's really exciting because it means that I've got something else to aim for. The journey is not over. No, it's not over until, you see.
• 19:02
  What's the saying? It's not over till the fat lady sings, but yeah, I think for me, obviously proudest moment definitely is getting to goal. I've never got to a goal in my life in terms of weight, but you know, I think, and I'm so proud of that. I've been able to achieve that and reverse a lot of them medical issues that I had at the very, very start and you know, that's great. But I think, you know, for me, I think the journey definitely isn't, and it will never be over because that journey of maintenance, I think afterwards is so,
• 19:31
  It's harder even than the actual journey itself of getting to your goal, because, you know, naturally your weight is going to go up and down and all that. But like, you know, it's just about checking in with yourself and holding yourself accountable and something I never would have done in the past. And that's kind of what you're saying there about the gym and stuff and things. You know, I definitely just continue to work on myself and that is the goal.
• 19:55
  But yes, thank you so much guys for your lovely answers. And I think it's been a pleasure and will continue to be a pleasure of having you as friends in my life. And yes, you are so supportive. And we met online, but we've now met in person multiple times. And yes, long may the friendship group come.
• 20:20
  absolutely and we do call ourselves the Barbers guys just so anybody we're letting that outside the group chat but yeah the group chat is called the Barbers for a reason that shall remain anonymous but yes so yes thank you so much friends yay