Latest / LIFE Podcast with Dr. C / Finding Your Groove in Retirement

Transcript

Finding Your Groove in Retirement · LIFE Podcast with Dr. C

• 0:04
  Dr C: Hola and welcome back to the live podcast.
• 0:07
  Dr C: I'm so excited to welcome our next guest, a true change maker in our community who has recently retired.
• 0:12
  Dr C: Daisy Fibera Angari.
• 0:14
  Dr C: Daisy recently retired as the manager of special products for the city of Rochester, where she dedicated her career to serving our neighborhoods.
• 0:22
  Dr C: She was a key part of La Marqueta Revitalization Team and during the pandemic led a critical program that delivered over 127,000 meals to seniors.
• 0:33
  Dr C: Beyond her incredible city career, Daisy is a true power.
• 0:37
  Dr C: She is a co-founder of Latina Dunida, an organization dedicated to empowering Latinas, and also the co-founder of Latina Woman Scholarship Fund.
• 0:46
  Dr C: It's no surprise, she's been recognized as the New York State Senate Woman of Distinction and was featured in Rochester's Museum and Science Center's Changemakers Exhibit.
• 0:56
  Dr C: She is truly an inspiration, and I'm so excited to hear her perspective on this new chapter.
• 1:02
  Dr C: Daisy, it's an honor to have you on the live podcast.
• 1:05
  Dr C: Welcome.
• 1:06
  Dr C: Thank you.
• 1:07
  Daisy: Thank you, Dr.
• 1:07
  Daisy: Wanda.
• 1:08
  Daisy: I'm uh really happy to see and hear that there is a space for folks like me in my in this season of my life.
• 1:16
  Daisy: So I was really excited when you invited me to share whatever I could share regarding this new chapter season in my life.
• 1:23
  Daisy: So thank you.
• 1:23
  Dr C: Well, thank you.
• 1:24
  Dr C: I appreciate you, you know, agreeing to be on the show and speaking about something so intimate.
• 1:29
  Dr C: So let's just dive right in.
• 1:31
  Dr C: So after a long and distinguished career shaping our community, which we are so thankful for, what was the biggest surprise for you about your own wellness needs uh after you recently retired?
• 1:43
  Daisy: I was surprised that I was working on three to four hours of sleep versus what I really needed.
• 1:52
  Daisy: And someone had advised me of that about a year ago.
• 1:54
  Daisy: I had coffee with someone who had just retired from the newspaper.
• 1:59
  Daisy: And uh she shared with me, she said, Daisy, you're you're gonna be surprised how much you're gonna need sleep.
• 2:04
  Daisy: I've been sleeping, she told me, about you know, six, eight hours.
• 2:08
  Daisy: I'm like, What?
• 2:09
  Daisy: That's way too much.
• 2:10
  Daisy: She goes, No.
• 2:11
  Daisy: And she was right.
• 2:12
  Daisy: I recently come to find out that I do need to have my six hours at least.
• 2:16
  Daisy: Sometimes on the weekends I might go a little longer.
• 2:19
  Daisy: And the other piece was just exercise.
• 2:21
  Daisy: You know, you're sitting behind a desk for so long that you forget to get up at least every hour, go take a walk, change the visual scene, take a deep breath, practice breathing exercises.
• 2:35
  Daisy: And that's one thing that I've become more familiar with is breathing exercises and the importance of getting up every hour.
• 2:42
  Daisy: And sometimes I'm here in my home office doing three hours of back-to-back meetings, and I forgot, wait a minute, I need to get up.
• 2:48
  Daisy: I need to get up and do something.
• 2:50
  Dr C: But how do you invest your time in your well-being, your collective well-being?
• 2:55
  Daisy: So I'm not going back to that.
• 2:56
  Daisy: I call it a hamster wheel, you know, getting off, getting on.
• 3:00
  Daisy: Um, and I was surprised that I started thinking like that.
• 3:03
  Daisy: And part of it was because I started to see uh, you know, friends and family members my age who, and unfortunately, some colleagues who had just retired and they had been diagnosed with horrible chronic diseases, and some one in particular really hit me hard.
• 3:22
  Daisy: Uh, the gentleman retired on Wednesday, he was dead on Saturday.
• 3:25
  Daisy: I was rot.
• 3:26
  Daisy: And it was a heart attack.
• 3:28
  Daisy: It was a heart attack.
• 3:29
  Daisy: He was so excited about retiring and the plans that he had, and I was so happy for him.
• 3:35
  Daisy: And he intentionally waited six more months, and my son called me, says mom, and the whole department was rot.
• 3:43
  Daisy: Wow, we can't believe it.
• 3:45
  Daisy: And he was my age, and I said, No, I said I can't, uh I can't prescribe to that anymore.
• 3:50
  Daisy: So I've been very intentional about uh what I say yes to.
• 3:55
  Daisy: And if I can say a yes with maybe I'll come back to you six months, it's not a no.
• 4:02
  Daisy: Uh, I'm really uh I'm really proud of myself that I'm managing my decisions a lot better instead of reacting.
• 4:09
  Dr C: So let's talk about that idea of purpose, right?
• 4:11
  Dr C: And how how you navigate finding or redefining your sense of purpose?
• 4:16
  Dr C: And and I know you mentioned that there's times where you you have to say no, and I'll I'll come back to it in six months and see if I could I could support you know your initiative.
• 4:25
  Dr C: But how do you redefine your purpose outside of serving others?
• 4:31
  Dr C: Like, how do you get back to serving yourself after spending your entire life serving others?
• 4:38
  Daisy: Well, one thing I did do, which is pretty drastic and kind of unconventional.
• 4:42
  Daisy: I removed myself from traditional uh advice of medical practitioners.
• 4:48
  Daisy: And I moved over to what people call, you know, natural medicine.
• 4:52
  Daisy: I call it, you know, more homeotherapy.
• 4:55
  Daisy: And I began to invest out of my own pocket because my insurance company would not cover practices like for women.
• 5:02
  Daisy: I removed myself from mammograms and I went to thermograms.
• 5:06
  Daisy: Oh, and I've said to some women, think about the radiation amount that's coming into your body through a traditional mammogram.
• 5:13
  Daisy: And I'm not putting mammograms down because I know they've uncovered a life-saving uh diagnosis for people.
• 5:19
  Daisy: But at my age, I never had a negative uh concern with my mammogram.
• 5:27
  Daisy: And I felt that I was really at a low risk.
• 5:31
  Daisy: So I sought the advice of a service locally here, a woman who provides that service.
• 5:38
  Daisy: And for the last three years, that's what I've been doing.
• 5:42
  Daisy: Um, if she's concerned about what she sees in the thermogram, which is associated with heat, then I move on to an ultrasound.
• 5:49
  Dr C: Wow.
• 5:50
  Daisy: Um, just to make sure that, you know, whatever she's concerned about is addressed.
• 5:54
  Daisy: Uh, but you know, thank God so far it's gone really well.
• 5:57
  Daisy: And the other piece was I still keep my medical doctor, but I also moved into a natural doctor.
• 6:03
  Daisy: Um I've actually referred to her like four women who wanted to pursue, you know, that kind of advice and practice.
• 6:10
  Daisy: And I stopped taking, I was put on while I was at City Hall, a couple of really strong medications.
• 6:18
  Daisy: And I was afraid of what they were going to do to my body long term because I saw what it did to my mom.
• 6:23
  Daisy: So I decided to uh pursue her advice, and I'm off those medicines.
• 6:30
  Daisy: I'm taking a lot of supplements that are very important to my body, particularly as you age.
• 6:36
  Daisy: There's certain vitamins that you need more of, and I didn't know how to get them.
• 6:39
  Daisy: I didn't know the quality that I needed.
• 6:42
  Daisy: So I just started to very intentionally make decisions for my health that I wanted to take care of.
• 6:50
  Daisy: I had I've suffered COVID twice, and I didn't realize the after effect of COVID on your body.
• 6:57
  Daisy: And I kept saying I had this little, you know, scratch throat.
• 7:02
  Daisy: I used to call it froctolin in the morning and come to find out that COVID had less of bacteria in me and I needed to address it.
• 7:09
  Daisy: So having done that, I've also, you know, been very intentional about what I pour into my spirit and my head.
• 7:18
  Daisy: Uh I'm careful of what I watch.
• 7:20
  Daisy: I can only watch the news once a day.
• 7:22
  Daisy: I can't watch it anymore.
• 7:24
  Daisy: Uh I can't watch um what can I call it?
• 7:27
  Daisy: Some kids call it drama, chaos.
• 7:29
  Daisy: I can't, I can't do it.
• 7:31
  Daisy: And because it does affect me, once that image comes in my head of whatever it is that I saw negative, it kind of almost sets the tone for my day, and I can't do it.
• 7:40
  Dr C: Yeah.
• 7:40
  Daisy: So I've been really intentional about what is poured into me physically and mentally, and most important to me spiritually.
• 7:47
  Daisy: So wow.
• 7:48
  Dr C: And I and you said so much, and I'm just kind of like, wow, I I I first of all, thank you for being transparent about your your medical decisions, you know.
• 7:58
  Dr C: And I think that everyone has an opportunity to really invest in their health, right?
• 8:03
  Dr C: Understanding their own health, where they are, what are their baselines and where they need to be.
• 8:09
  Dr C: I think that that's really important.
• 8:10
  Dr C: And alternative medicine is also in a resource, right?
• 8:14
  Dr C: And so that's what you're talking about.
• 8:16
  Dr C: And we don't know necessarily think of it in that way.
• 8:19
  Dr C: And I also think that alternative medicine has gotten a bad rap.
• 8:23
  Dr C: I agree.
• 8:24
  Dr C: And so I thank you for talking about really kind of looking into it and understanding how it benefits you individually and what are the maybe supplements you may need and how you could get that support.
• 8:36
  Dr C: So you you have a new sense of purpose.
• 8:39
  Dr C: That's what I'm hearing from you.
• 8:40
  Dr C: And Daisy, we've known each other for a really long time, and I'm feeling that you have a sense of alignment, yeah, right now.
• 8:48
  Daisy: I didn't have the privilege of having my dad who's 92 years old, who does not suffer from any chronic illness.
• 8:56
  Daisy: His father died, yeah, none.
• 8:58
  Daisy: None.
• 8:59
  Daisy: Oh, and his father died at 96.
• 9:03
  Daisy: And I believe he would have made it to 100 if we had not approved for him to leave his home in Rochester, where he used to walk every day and walk around to living in nothing but New York City, but at that age, it was difficult for him to walk around in New York City.
• 9:19
  Daisy: He didn't last two years because it took away his social circle, yeah, his spiritual circle, and his sense of uh kind of being needed, like I'm gonna get up today, I'm gonna cook.
• 9:31
  Daisy: He used to cook, he was 96.
• 9:33
  Daisy: And uh, he never saw a hot a hospital, traditional hospital.
• 9:38
  Daisy: Um, and I'll tell you one story.
• 9:39
  Daisy: He um used to live with us in New York City when my brother was about five years old.
• 9:45
  Daisy: As we say in it finally, who's terrible?
• 9:47
  Daisy: So he was something else, my five-year-old brother.
• 9:50
  Daisy: And um, a piece of uh mattress fell on his head and it cut a pretty deep, you know, cut in his uh skull.
• 9:57
  Daisy: And my mother panicked, oh the hospital, hospital, got to take him.
• 10:01
  Daisy: And my grandpa, and his really confident, quiet said, give me, give me the boy.
• 10:08
  Daisy: And he took my brother to the kitchen and he made this paste of garlic and something else that he found in the kitchen, and he made this paste, he poured into my he pasted into my brother's head, and to this day, he didn't need a stitch, and my brother has no scar.
• 10:25
  Dr C: Oh my goodness.
• 10:26
  Daisy: He was he was a very proud Puerto Rican, he was very proud to always tell me stories that his grandmother was a dyena, he was born in 1898.
• 10:35
  Daisy: So his grandmother, he remembered in Puerto Rico?
• 10:39
  Daisy: In Puerto Rico, oh puro puro taina puro taino, and he uh always told me stories about his grandmother who used to give him all these things from the earth, and he that's how he learned how to take care of himself.
• 10:53
  Daisy: He was never overweight, he didn't know what that was high blood pressure.
• 10:58
  Daisy: He cooked his own meal, it was always a meal of grains, cassava, and then sometimes he would eat some meat because he felt the meat that we were raising in this country was not the polygamy he grew up with in Puerto Rico, they was really picky.
• 11:12
  Daisy: And I said, you know, that's my life, that's my blood.
• 11:15
  Daisy: That's what was passed on to me.
• 11:17
  Daisy: And if it were for them, definitely gonna work for me.
• 11:20
  Dr C: Right, right, right.
• 11:22
  Dr C: Wow, that's that's amazing.
• 11:24
  Dr C: You know, how did people before modern medicine right was invented, how did they survive?
• 11:29
  Dr C: I mean, so there definitely are opportunities and benefits to alternative, you know, medic medicine for sure.
• 11:36
  Dr C: I love that.
• 11:37
  Dr C: And Daisy, I want you to live till you're 150,000 years old.
• 11:41
  Dr C: So let me know how that's working out for you.
• 11:44
  Dr C: You look great, son.
• 11:45
  Dr C: You look great.
• 11:46
  Dr C: So it's amazing how shifting your focus, right, can be so fulfilling.
• 11:50
  Dr C: And I I'm just I'm feeling your energy and your essence, your happiness that you feel content.
• 11:55
  Dr C: I do.
• 11:56
  Daisy: I did they someone said to me that they had seen me since I had left City Hall.
• 12:01
  Daisy: And um, and again, I'm not trying to uh portray anything negative on City Hall.
• 12:05
  Daisy: I love City Hall, I love the work that comes out of that building and how it hurts our community, but um it is government and it is, you know, uh many times reactionary types of work that you have to do.
• 12:16
  Daisy: So there's a lot of like deadlines and needs that you have to make sure you meet them by a certain time and budget constraints, etc.
• 12:23
  Daisy: etc.
• 12:23
  Daisy: And I think that's the piece that I wasn't made for.
• 12:27
  Daisy: I mean, I did it and I hope I did it well, but I when I remove myself from that constraint of, oh, I got a deadline, the budget, I gotta do this council item when it all left me.
• 12:38
  Daisy: Yeah, left me was like, oh, I only got two emails, I don't have a hundred.
• 12:45
  Dr C: Three, yeah, I have time for myself.
• 12:48
  Dr C: Wow, what what a what a thing, right?
• 12:50
  Daisy: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:52
  Dr C: So let's touch on a topic that can be stressful for men, and that's financial wellness.
• 12:57
  Dr C: Yes.
• 12:57
  Dr C: Without getting too personal, how has your relationship with money and budgeting changed since retirement?
• 13:03
  Dr C: And what's one tip you have for managing it without constant word?
• 13:08
  Daisy: My one word is uh plan, plan, plan.
• 13:11
  Daisy: Uh, I tell that to my boys, to my daughter.
• 13:14
  Daisy: Before you know it, the time has come for you to rely on what you've set aside.
• 13:20
  Daisy: Rely on, you know, what does the government have set aside for me if it's still around for the, you know, we'll see.
• 13:28
  Daisy: Uh, but also look at your employers, you know, what uh what resources they offer in planning retirement.
• 13:34
  Daisy: Some have grade 401s, some have big pensions.
• 13:37
  Daisy: I was very fortunate and blessed to be able to work for a government that did provide a pension.
• 13:44
  Daisy: And uh that's been that was one of my biggest concerns.
• 13:48
  Daisy: Um, so being able to participate in a pension plan and to contribute myself also.
• 13:54
  Daisy: That was a big uh part in me deciding uh can I fully retire?
• 14:00
  Daisy: Now uh the better you plan, the better is the resource that's set aside for you when it's time comes time to you know draw your monthly budget needs.
• 14:13
  Daisy: Uh for me, we were able, I was really fortunate to have been able to participate, like I said, in that plan.
• 14:19
  Daisy: Uh moving forward, you know, now I have the ability, if I'm offered an opportunity that comes with monetary compensation, then I can say, um, I can do it as a consultant and I can, you know, take on a small project for a compensation fee that you know I'm comfortable with.
• 14:37
  Daisy: But that basically becomes like the icing on the cake.
• 14:42
  Dr C: Yeah.
• 14:42
  Daisy: I don't need it, but at the same time, uh I value my contributions to whatever it is I'm going to consult you with.
• 14:49
  Daisy: So, you know, it works for me.
• 14:51
  Dr C: So last the plan and either is yeah, it's a different time.
• 14:58
  Daisy: Um, you know, I watched my dad, who is dependent now on social security and a very small pension from being a minister.
• 15:06
  Daisy: And thankfully he made some wise investments in real estate, so that has helped a lot.
• 15:12
  Daisy: But if he hadn't, I mean, I I know one of us would be taking him in because it I just I'm not gonna let it happen to my dad.
• 15:20
  Daisy: But imagine those who don't have family, right?
• 15:23
  Daisy: Just it breaks my heart how they have to live.
• 15:26
  Dr C: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:27
  Dr C: So that takes me to my last question.
• 15:30
  Dr C: If there's something that you could tell someone who's about to retire that you wish you knew before you retired, what is what would it be?
• 15:41
  Daisy: For me, I learned this about 10 years ago when I was working on a project in the city, and that is we do the succession plans for businesses.
• 15:52
  Daisy: We help them plan, you know, the what if you plan to pass this on to your child or to your partner.
• 15:59
  Daisy: We need to do personal succession plans.
• 16:02
  Daisy: And I'm finding myself, even though we don't want to talk about it, some people call it a will, some people call it, you know, uh, you know, as assigning trustees, uh, I want to be able to address that my uh my children or my grandchildren uh are benefiting from whatever success I had.
• 16:23
  Daisy: So for me, I want to make sure that they um don't learn the hard way, but learn from advice, which was hard for me to do because my father was always giving me good advice, but you know, I had to like, you know, feel the pain myself.
• 16:38
  Dr C: Right.
• 16:39
  Daisy: Yeah.
• 16:39
  Daisy: So I was like, I want to make sure that you do plan out that when you uh if you have a business, for example, that uh recently I heard of a business owner who died and he was in his 80s.
• 16:51
  Daisy: And I remember sitting down with him 10 years ago and say, Do you have a succession plan?
• 16:56
  Daisy: So that your it could be your family, it could be, you know, an opportunity for you to sell off part of that for you know for an investment.
• 17:05
  Daisy: Um, and unfortunately didn't take advice, and now the business closed after 50 years.
• 17:12
  Daisy: Wow, what a loss, what a loss.
• 17:14
  Daisy: You don't work that hard to say, you know, gotta close it.
• 17:18
  Daisy: That breaks my heart.
• 17:20
  Daisy: And uh the same can happen to you know, family legacies with my own children.
• 17:25
  Daisy: I try to make sure that they understand they were born into a family, rivera algarin, that uh has certain um values and that they understand how important those values are to pass on to their children.
• 17:43
  Daisy: And you know, I recently read a book about legacy and it was kind of it was faith-based, but legacy to your grandchildren.
• 17:51
  Daisy: And I have so many fond memories of my grandmother.
• 17:55
  Daisy: Little things, nothing where she said not with me gave me lessons, but little things where she took me with her shopping in New York City and she would point out to me, it's funny, that her the best and the favorite hand lotion was Jergens.
• 18:09
  Daisy: Jergens, gotta have jergens.
• 18:12
  Daisy: And today I cannot smell jergens without floods of memories of my grandma and my grandpa, who always had a pocket full of candy.
• 18:23
  Daisy: And I would see him and we call him Papa, and I said, Papa rendicion.
• 18:28
  Daisy: And he said, check.
• 18:29
  Daisy: And we pull out a handful of in New York City.
• 18:32
  Daisy: I don't know if they still make them, they're called squirrel nut, just a caramel candy with nuts in it, my favorite.
• 18:39
  Daisy: And he always had candy in his pocket.
• 18:42
  Daisy: Uh, and he always would tell me stories about dianos that to me they came out of his mouth.
• 18:47
  Daisy: He lived it.
• 18:48
  Daisy: Yeah, so we need to pass out that legacy to your offspring.
• 18:51
  Daisy: If you don't have any grandchildren, there are many children that can benefit from, you know, whether it's in a school reading program or your faith, you know, community, pass it on.
• 19:03
  Daisy: And these young people today need to hear from us, not from a device.
• 19:08
  Daisy: Um, and one of the reasons why I love uh going to Latina Sanita's rallies is because to watch these girls be inspired and to be around their peers.
• 19:18
  Daisy: Um, I I've taken, I've been able to take my daughter now, my granddaughter to the rally and to see how they the energy from each other and they inspire each other.
• 19:29
  Daisy: And we try to help them understand that keep it up, depend on each other, don't depend on what other people are, you know, advising you to do or that you don't want to do.
• 19:40
  Daisy: Think about who you are.
• 19:41
  Daisy: And and most recently, we've had to, you know, work with girls who don't have that special adult in their life.
• 19:48
  Daisy: We are gonna be the adult.
• 19:49
  Daisy: And think about how we can influence these girls to uh you know have reach that potential that they were God given.
• 19:57
  Daisy: They have they all have that potential.
• 19:59
  Dr C: Wow, Daisy, thank you so much for sharing your time and your wisdom with us today.
• 20:04
  Daisy: Thank you for reaching out.
• 20:05
  Daisy: I really appreciate it.
• 20:06
  Daisy: And I'm so excited for uh you doing this Life Peace podcast on that.
• 20:11
  Daisy: Like you said, I've known you for years, and uh I'm excited because I think that you are um uh working in a space where I think uh women in my generation, some of yours, that we need to be able to uh just pass it on and share our thoughts with others.
• 20:30
  Daisy: And no one has the perfect formula, but I think we all have enough that we can gather and just learn from each other and uh be a blessing to those around us.
• 20:41
  Dr C: Absolutely.
• 20:41
  Dr C: And you've been a mentor and an inspiration to me.
• 20:44
  Dr C: I've I've learned from you and seeing how you have given so much to our community.
• 20:48
  Dr C: And there have been times, Daisy, when you have given me the look, and I know exactly what that look means, right?
• 20:54
  Dr C: But that is why I love you so much because you are authentic and you empower us, but you also hold us accountable.
• 21:02
  Dr C: Thank you.
• 21:03
  Dr C: That accountability is something that we all need and something that we should thrive for, something that we we should want, right?
• 21:10
  Dr C: I feel like when you give me the look, that means you love me.
• 21:13
  Dr C: That means you're listening and you want to make sure that I'm okay.
• 21:17
  Dr C: And so I want others to know when you get the look, right?
• 21:21
  Dr C: When you get the look from someone, it's because they're trying to tell you something because they care for you and they're trying to warn you, like, hey, you may want to handle that differently.
• 21:30
  Daisy: So that is so funny.
• 21:32
  Daisy: It's so funny.
• 21:33
  Daisy: You say that my daughter says, uh oh, uh oh.
• 21:37
  Daisy: And then then she'll try to like um warn my husband, did you see the look mom just gave you?
• 21:41
  Daisy: You need to step back.
• 21:43
  Dr C: That's right.
• 21:43
  Dr C: Hey, read the room, right?
• 21:46
  Dr C: Awareness of others is a leadership skill for sure.
• 21:50
  Dr C: Well, thank you so much.
• 21:51
  Dr C: This has been a great conversation, and I know you're that our listeners are benefiting from your wisdom today.
• 21:57
  Dr C: Thank you, Wanda.
• 21:58
  Dr C: Have a great day.
• 21:59
  Dr C: You two, Daisy.
• 22:00
  Speaker: Take care, take care of you.