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Milkshakes, Moms, and Modern Pharisees: Your Marriage Belongs to You · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for September 24, 2026 Milkshakes, Moms,
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  and Modern Pharisees Your marriage belongs to you,
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  Years ago, Lori and I cared for my mom in her home with the help of hospice,
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  We thought it would be one to four months It was nine Neither of us are sorry
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  we did it, but it was difficult,
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  We went into it determined it was not going to hurt our marriage And we managed that well,
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  The big issue was making time for us Mom was bedridden, but needed things throughout
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  the day We could never guarantee half an hour uninterrupted.
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  However, she was sleeping long hours and never needed help overnight, so we hit on a plan.
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  After she watched the 10 o'clock news, we tucked her in, and then it was us time.
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  We'd spent a couple of hours together, unwinding and staying connected.
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  This meant we were late getting up in the morning, but still got up before Mom.
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  I was self-employed doing landscape and irrigation and was able to shift my work time.
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  So it was an odd schedule, but it was a good thing for us under the circumstances.
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  We got some grief from the early-to-bed, early-to-rise crowd,
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  and it did mean that I wasn't able to work in the cool part of the day or ever
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  finish before the worst heat. but I felt my marriage was more important.
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  When you do things in an unusual way, you will get pushback.
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  Some of it comes from well-meaning folks who assume that what works for most
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  people should work for you.
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  Telling such people about your circumstances might talk them down, or it might not.
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  Others will tell you that you are wrong. There is a right way to do it,
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  and your way is not right.
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  These folks don't care about your circumstances, and these folks may hint,
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  if not outright claim, that the way they think you should do it is God's way.
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  Not that they can show you a scripture to support that. It's just one of those
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  things that every good Christian knows.
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  I want to encourage you to put your spouse and your marriage ahead of folks
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  who think they know better. Tell them kindly, thanks, but no thanks.
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  If they don't back off, tell them somewhat less kindly to drop it.
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  Let them walk away muttering. Their opinions aren't your problem unless you allow them to be.
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  It's your job to figure out how to do your marriage well, and that includes
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  making changes to accommodate circumstances.
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  If someone thinks you're doing your marriage wrong, let them.
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  Unusual circumstances can call for unusual solutions.
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  And yes, there are things that are wrong or always a bad idea,
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  but that list is not nearly as long as some try to make it.
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  This is Paul, and a lot of folks told Jesus he was doing it wrong.