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251. The Wealth of Not Caring What People Think · Your Enriched Self

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Speaker 1: Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
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Speaker 1: to the You'rein Retal podcast. I am your host, my
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Speaker 1: Lee Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach.
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Speaker 1: What that means is I am here for you. I
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Speaker 1: want you to be the best version of yourself in
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Speaker 1: this world, and it starts with your mindset. And that's
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Speaker 1: what we do here on this podcast. We talk about
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Speaker 1: the things that you typically don't get to talk about.
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Speaker 1: You see, we live in a very busy world. We're
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Speaker 1: here and then we're gone to the next thing, and
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Speaker 1: we often don't spend time managing our thoughts, and we
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Speaker 1: go from one thing to the next thing and the
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Speaker 1: next thing, and so here on this podcast, I've curated
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Speaker 1: this space to slow down the pace and give us
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Speaker 1: a place to start to understand more about what we're thinking.
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Speaker 1: I mean, when you think about your life and the
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Speaker 1: life spaces you occupy, where are you spending time in
1:20
Speaker 1: your thoughts? Now? With the AI revolution, it's using AI
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Speaker 1: now to create and so I want to make sure
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Speaker 1: that we are being very intentional about thinking through the
1:34
Speaker 1: things and the steps and the life and the lessons
1:38
Speaker 1: and the losses and everything that is happening in our space.
1:42
Speaker 1: So that's what this podcast is all about, and that's
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Speaker 1: the work that I get to do. If you stumble
1:50
Speaker 1: on this podcast, I do not believe that you were
1:52
Speaker 1: brought here without a purpose. I believe you were brought
1:57
Speaker 1: here on purpose, for a purpose, and I want to
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Speaker 1: thank you for being here. I want to thank you
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Speaker 1: for taking the time to stay so you can get
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Speaker 1: some content to help you become more of your enriched self.
2:13
Speaker 1: And if you are a repeat listener, hey, I want
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Speaker 1: to thank you. I'm not gonna lie. These last couple
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Speaker 1: of months, I've been a struggle for me to keep
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Speaker 1: everything going at the pace that I like and the
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Speaker 1: pace that I've come to deliver for you over these
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Speaker 1: four years. But guess what, we're here, and I want
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Speaker 1: to thank you for coming back, consuming, sharing, liking, and commenting.
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Speaker 1: All of this matters. You matter, and I just want
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Speaker 1: to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now,
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Speaker 1: if you know, you know, before I kick off a
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Speaker 1: podcast episode, one of the things that I do each
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Speaker 1: week is I make a deposit into the bank of you,
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Speaker 1: and I do that by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
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Speaker 1: a great way to start your day. And to command
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Speaker 1: your mourning. And this week's affirmation is I define success
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Speaker 1: by my values, not by other people's expectations. I define
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Speaker 1: success by my values, not by other people's expectations. I
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Speaker 1: define success by my values, not by other people's expectations. Now,
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Speaker 1: let's get ready for this week's episode of the or
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Speaker 1: Enriched Self podcast. We're in a culture of influencers. One
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Speaker 1: thing I've started to recognize about myself is that, quite honestly,
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Speaker 1: I've been deinfluenced by celebrities. What has de influenced me
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Speaker 1: from many celebrities is the mindset, the way they think
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Speaker 1: about things and their value system. The one thing that
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Speaker 1: does draw me into celebrity, and really anyone for that matter,
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Speaker 1: is mindset. And recently there was an interview by Chad Ochosenko,
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Speaker 1: and I just remember he was or you know, he's
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Speaker 1: an ex NFL football player. I can't even tell you
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Speaker 1: what particular role he played on the field or what
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Speaker 1: you know his work was on the football field. I
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Speaker 1: knew that he stayed in the media for a number
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Speaker 1: of reasons. I'm not fascinated by the football in the story.
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Speaker 1: I wasn't fascinated about his celebrity because as you know,
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Speaker 1: I don't even have a whole lot of context about,
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Speaker 1: you know, what role he played on the field. I
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Speaker 1: was really fascinated about his money, mindset, his confidence, I
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Speaker 1: mean really his mindset in general, about what freedom is,
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Speaker 1: how he defines money, and his confidence in general. And
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Speaker 1: you know, for many people, they may not look at
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Speaker 1: his appearance as success, right. But one thing he did
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Speaker 1: in the interview is that he challenged the very definition
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Speaker 1: of wealth and it made me question if real wealth
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Speaker 1: has nothing to do with what people see, does it
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Speaker 1: really have to do with what people see? One thing
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Speaker 1: in the interview that struck me was something he mentioned
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Speaker 1: about time, and time is one of those currencies in
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Speaker 1: life that you never get back. You hear millionaires say
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Speaker 1: it all the time. They don't mind losing money, but
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Speaker 1: they hate losing time because they can make up the money,
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Speaker 1: but they can never make back the time. And one
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Speaker 1: thing that Chad mentioned specifically was he made a point
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Speaker 1: to the interviewers by saying, Hey, can somebody tell me
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Speaker 1: what time it is? And somebody said six twenty one,
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Speaker 1: And he said, you see that time is free. Why
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Speaker 1: would I spend two hundred thousand dollars on a watch.
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Speaker 1: Some would say these are his words, that it's an investment.
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Speaker 1: He said, listen, I see it as a waste. You know.
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Speaker 1: That may sound really random, and it's like, okay, well,
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Speaker 1: some people see it as an investment, but I think
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Speaker 1: it's a powerful belief that lives underneath the way Chad
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Speaker 1: thinks about these things. He understands that expensive things don't
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Speaker 1: automatically increase the quality of your life. And a lot
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Speaker 1: of times you see many celebrities tout the expensive things
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Speaker 1: and it starts to give the everyday, average Joe person
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Speaker 1: this false sense of quality in life because of having
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Speaker 1: these expensive things. And what these expensive things do is
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Speaker 1: they often increase your need, right They appeal to this
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Speaker 1: need that you need to maintain an image. And he
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Speaker 1: took that out of the equation of what he considers
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Speaker 1: his life and how he wanted to redefine or define
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Speaker 1: his life. The truth is, if you begin to value
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Speaker 1: your time more than your possessions, your priorities will change.
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Speaker 1: So you want to ask yourself questions to qualify your life,
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Speaker 1: like am I doing these things or purchasing these things
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Speaker 1: to impress people who aren't paying my bills? Now that's
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Speaker 1: a real question. To ask yourself and are any of
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Speaker 1: these things improving the value of my life? You know?
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Speaker 1: In his words, yeah, some people call it an investment,
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Speaker 1: but is it adding any value to your life? Something
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Speaker 1: else Chad said in the interview, which I thought was interesting,
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Speaker 1: was and this statement really stood out. He said, other
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Speaker 1: people have an image to live up to. I don't listen.
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Speaker 1: If that isn't a freedom statement, I don't know what is.
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Speaker 1: He even went on in the interviewed to talk about
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Speaker 1: a vehicle he has owned since two thousand and six,
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Speaker 1: a twenty year old vehicle. He says he owns a
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Speaker 1: vehicle because his confidence is not connected to what people think.
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Speaker 1: You know, how many of us think we need a
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Speaker 1: new vehicle every so many years because just culturally, just
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Speaker 1: think about the cultural things that we have just embraced
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Speaker 1: and we have just made part of the solution of
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Speaker 1: our life. Instead of taking that money that you would
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Speaker 1: use for a down payment, or the the interest rates,
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Speaker 1: or the cost of a new car and all the things,
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Speaker 1: we decide to buy a new car and go back
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Speaker 1: into the process because many of us are making a
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Speaker 1: car payment. It's not like you're buying a car outright
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Speaker 1: brand new and you don't have a monthly payment, and
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Speaker 1: you don't have the interest that's compounding and things of
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Speaker 1: that nature. It's just fascinating to hear someone who's made
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Speaker 1: and is now still a multi millionaire who just raped
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Speaker 1: up the money, who just kept the money in a
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Speaker 1: space where he did more with saving money than maybe
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Speaker 1: even some of the players today that get these, you know,
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Speaker 1: multi million dollar contracts. Those things sound very impressive, but
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Speaker 1: how many of them keep the money? How many of
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Speaker 1: them are walking away with that money? And again, this
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Speaker 1: is not a money conversation. I don't want you to
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Speaker 1: get caught up in that. I want you to redefine
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Speaker 1: what it is to have wealth, redefine what I'm calling
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Speaker 1: a mindset of being selfish because at the end of
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Speaker 1: the day, and I have to look this up because
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Speaker 1: I think it's important to get context and definition, and
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Speaker 1: I do this every so often. Is what is selfish?
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Speaker 1: When I looked up the definition of selfish, selfish is
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Speaker 1: caring about yourself and your own needs without considering others.
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Speaker 1: And I could wordsmith this and say, well, if you
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Speaker 1: say it's caring about yourself and your own needs without
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Speaker 1: concern for what others think, then I think you can
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Speaker 1: redefine selfish. I think you can redefine it right where
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Speaker 1: it is you're more concerned about your needs than the
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Speaker 1: needs of others. His thought process around the watch and
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Speaker 1: the car have nothing to do with concerning himself with others.
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Speaker 1: So I would like to say he's selfish, and I
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Speaker 1: want you to walk away from this episode redefining self
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Speaker 1: It's okay to be selfish. I'm not trying to twist
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Speaker 1: the words or twist the definition. I just want you
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Speaker 1: to think about what you probably have never thought about. See,
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Speaker 1: that's what we do in culture. We just embrace and
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Speaker 1: go along. But if we stop to think and stop
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Speaker 1: to understand, right, we will come away with new levels
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Speaker 1: of understanding. We will start to listen to someone like that,
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Speaker 1: and we might learn something from a Chad o Cho
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Speaker 1: Senko and people that have this similar thought process because
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Speaker 1: so many of us can't and won't. It's not a
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Speaker 1: skill issue, it's a will issue. We won't drive that
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Speaker 1: twenty year old car because we think of the emotional
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Speaker 1: energy that's managing the perceptions of how people see it.
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Speaker 1: Are we wearing the success right? Are we performative with
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Speaker 1: the success? But confidence isn't provoking. You don't have to
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Speaker 1: provoke to bring confidence to you by having that car,
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Speaker 1: that new shiny thing. Confidence is knowing when your identity
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Speaker 1: is internal instead of external, and that's going to require
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Speaker 1: some work. You stop chasing validation again, internal identity versus external.
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Speaker 1: You stop chasing validation, and that is emotional wealth. See again,
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Speaker 1: we're not looking at dollars and cents here, We're looking
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Speaker 1: at what makes sense for you becoming more enriched real wealth.
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Speaker 1: And this is what I've kind of walked away with.
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Speaker 1: Like I said, when I started being deinfluenced by these celebrities,
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Speaker 1: is bill your life around values. Chad has been able to,
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Speaker 1: like I said, save a lot of his earnings because
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Speaker 1: he built a value system that has kept his earnings
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Speaker 1: alive because he's not spending it in a frivolous way
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Speaker 1: to impress people that don't pay your bills. Number one, right,
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Speaker 1: here's something I thought was super duper frugal. I'm not
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Speaker 1: saying you should, but I understand. I understand. This was
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Speaker 1: the most surprising thing about this interview. He said he
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Speaker 1: lived at the stadium for whatever he team he played for.
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Speaker 1: Like I said, I can't I don't know all the details,
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Speaker 1: but he lived at the stadium for the first three
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Speaker 1: years of his NFL career. Crazy, right, He said, Listen,
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Speaker 1: they have a couch there, they have a kitchen, they
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Speaker 1: have a shower, they have all these amenities there for
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Speaker 1: these players. Why would I go rent hundreds of thousands
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Speaker 1: of dollars a month in an apartment when I can
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Speaker 1: do all the things that I want to do in
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Speaker 1: that apartment right here in the complex stadium. Why would I?
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Speaker 1: So what he did was he removed because of his
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Speaker 1: value system. He removed these unnecessary, expensive and distractions so
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Speaker 1: he can focus on what matters most. You know, people
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Speaker 1: go around and say it's all about me, it's all
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Speaker 1: about me, and then they go and do things to
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Speaker 1: make it all about others. This is an example of
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Speaker 1: somebody that made it all about me. Selfish and they
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Speaker 1: lived up to selfish in the highest form of selfish,
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Speaker 1: in the highest vibration of being selfish. Because there's a
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Speaker 1: low vibrational selfish, and we know people who are selfish,
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Speaker 1: but I'm talking about this high vibration of being selfish.
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Speaker 1: I don't think it's poverty thinking. Some may think that,
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Speaker 1: but he just sawt a convenience of having all the
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Speaker 1: things that he needed right at his fingertips. He didn't
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Speaker 1: have to reach further than just being in the very
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Speaker 1: stadium that he played. It's about an intentional thinking. I
16:29
Speaker 1: think you've got to be intentional about making moves like
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Speaker 1: this and really thinking about this. And that's why this
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Speaker 1: space and these conversations are so important to our journey
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Speaker 1: of becoming more enriched. Sometimes the richest decision isn't about
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Speaker 1: spending more, it's about needing less. Yeah, that that that's
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Speaker 1: definitely what Chad embodied is needing less than what everybody
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Speaker 1: else in celebrity would talk about it. I remember years ago,
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Speaker 1: even before this interview, he talked about buying full jewelry.
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Speaker 1: He said, listen, no one knew the difference between what
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Speaker 1: I wore and what the other guy spent hundreds of
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Speaker 1: thousands of dollars on, sometimes millions of dollars on. He
17:29
Speaker 1: would just get a replica of it because for him
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Speaker 1: that wasn't that wasn't that important. He didn't care to
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Speaker 1: have it. And quite honestly, he's like some of the
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Speaker 1: other people that you thought had the millions of dollars
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Speaker 1: or hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry. They were
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Speaker 1: also buying replicas. He was like, I wasn't gonna write
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Speaker 1: him out whole other interview, but it you know, however
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Speaker 1: crazy this individual sounds, he was definitely doing some wild
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Speaker 1: things on the field, on the football field. I think
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Speaker 1: this is an opportunity for all of us to have
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Speaker 1: a mindset shift to redefine selfish. Right. I want to
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Speaker 1: challenge you when you hear the word selfish, to not
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Speaker 1: see it as an insult. Right, I've already told you
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Speaker 1: how it's being defined. Making the small adjustment of saying that,
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Speaker 1: you know, it's you not caring about others, you're caring
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Speaker 1: more about yourself than about the needs of others, and
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Speaker 1: maybe switching it to you're not being concerned so much
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Speaker 1: about what others think. I think that changes everything. But
18:45
Speaker 1: at the same time, as I mentioned, I think it's
18:48
Speaker 1: just going to be public opinion, you know, the court
18:54
Speaker 1: of public opinion in becoming your own life coach, in
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Speaker 1: choosing the system and the values that you believe. Right,
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Speaker 1: you know, being selfish in a sense is again, as
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Speaker 1: I mentioned, refocusing on what matters most. It's going to
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Speaker 1: be for me it's going to be peace. If something's
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Speaker 1: gonna bring me peace, it may not look glamorous to
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Speaker 1: somebody else, but it's giving me something I value more
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Speaker 1: than anything else. And so for me, I'm okay with that.
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Speaker 1: I'm okay with whatever that looks like. The optics may
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Speaker 1: not look as glamorous and as fancy, but it's what
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Speaker 1: I value and what I'm going to focus on. It
19:34
Speaker 1: may be your purpose. Right, when people chase purpose, it
19:39
Speaker 1: doesn't look pretty because it's all the gritty things that
19:41
Speaker 1: you need to do to get from where you are
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Speaker 1: to purpose and living it out loud and bringing the
19:48
Speaker 1: people that you're supposed to serve along that path. And
19:52
Speaker 1: that doesn't look as glamorous. But that is another area
19:57
Speaker 1: of refocusing on what matters well being, right. That well
20:02
Speaker 1: being may take you out of situations, it may take
20:04
Speaker 1: you out of conversations, it may take you out of friendships.
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Speaker 1: Well being is very very deep for me too, right,
20:11
Speaker 1: Some people have really small circles for that very reason.
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Speaker 1: Their well being is important and just the overall design
20:19
Speaker 1: of your life, right, like how you think and what
20:22
Speaker 1: you do and why you do what you do, You
20:24
Speaker 1: know your wise matter as well. So we know that
20:30
Speaker 1: self care can also have that negative connotation sometimes where
20:33
Speaker 1: people think people are going above and beyond. But self
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Speaker 1: care isn't selfish. Healthy boundaries also not selfish. Living beneath
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Speaker 1: your means isn't selfish. Choosing peace over performance that is
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Speaker 1: in selfish. Sometimes, like Chad, the healthiest thing you can
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Speaker 1: do is stop looking for permission outside of you and
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Speaker 1: to live a life instead that's right for you. He
21:11
Speaker 1: was considered arrogant out there on the field, but off
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Speaker 1: the field, I think I call that alignment. I hope
21:28
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast.
21:32
Speaker 1: And the only way I'm gonna know this is if
21:34
Speaker 1: you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift and
21:37
Speaker 1: it is free to give, and I would like to
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Speaker 1: hear from you. I would like to know what resonated
21:41
Speaker 1: with you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how you
21:45
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Speaker 1: body and spirit. I also want you to check out
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Speaker 1: the show notes. In the show notes, we have the
22:57
Speaker 1: affirmation of the week, the quote of the week, and
23:00
Speaker 1: there you can also find my Amazon shop. Your enrich
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Speaker 1: Self shop has two items right now, a journal which
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Speaker 1: is the show Up Everyday Journal, as well as they
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Speaker 1: show Up Everyday notebook. So check those out in my
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Speaker 1: episode and do what you must in the next one
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Speaker 1: hundred and sixty eight hours so that you can become
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Speaker 1: more of your enriched self until we meet again.