Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Burnout + Boundaries
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about
- 0:06Speaker 1: the game of living in and with chronic pain and
- 0:09Speaker 1: trauma get into the heart of how to heal. I
- 0:12Speaker 1: am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan
- 0:18Speaker 1: on discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
- 0:23Speaker 1: and anybody that is interested in having their voice.
- 0:25Speaker 2: Heard in the chronic pain and trauma world that we
- 0:28Speaker 2: live in.
- 0:38Speaker 1: So, you guys here often on the show that I
- 0:40Speaker 1: am exhausted, I am burned out, and I was doing
- 0:45Speaker 1: pretty well for a couple months where I wasn't letting
- 0:48Speaker 1: my burnout completely overtake me. And the past couple of
- 0:52Speaker 1: months have been crazy, and that I'm exhausted phrase is
- 0:58Speaker 1: far too often used in my life right, and it
- 1:01Speaker 1: is for you guys as well.
- 1:02Speaker 2: I mean, we all have it.
- 1:03Speaker 1: It's not just burn out with our jobs, it's not
- 1:06Speaker 1: just burnout with our health.
- 1:08Speaker 2: It's burnout. It's burnout.
- 1:09Speaker 1: It's burnout because we are all trying to do so
- 1:12Speaker 1: many things all day long, for everyone, for everything, and
- 1:17Speaker 1: as I always say, I always end up being the
- 1:21Speaker 1: last person on the list. I end up being that
- 1:24Speaker 1: person that is so burnt out that by the end
- 1:26Speaker 1: of the day, I don't even have anything left to
- 1:29Speaker 1: give myself, and I keep saying I'm working on it,
- 1:32Speaker 1: I'm working on it. I'm working on it, and I am.
- 1:34Speaker 1: That is how hard burnout is to deal with. Does
- 1:39Speaker 1: burnout increase our pain levels? Does it increase our s
- 1:42Speaker 1: cortisol levels? Does it increase Does it increase? Absolutely it does.
- 1:46Speaker 1: And that is what we are going to be talking
- 1:47Speaker 1: about today to discuss this and discover where we are
- 1:52Speaker 1: doing some things that we could probably do a little
- 1:55Speaker 1: bit better to ease a little bit of that burn right,
- 1:58Speaker 1: But a lot of that burnout from especially from somebody
- 2:01Speaker 1: like me, comes from the desire to be successful. I
- 2:05Speaker 1: came from a very successful family, both sides, both my
- 2:07Speaker 1: stepfather and my father both very successful. My husband to
- 2:11Speaker 1: be absolutely successful. I have been and it has been.
- 2:14Speaker 1: But for me as a woman, it's always been success achievement.
- 2:19Speaker 1: That is all that fueled me. And my health took
- 2:22Speaker 1: a back burner to that. So when you get that
- 2:26Speaker 1: grit and that fire to continue to be successful, within
- 2:30Speaker 1: that place comes people pleasing, and people pleasing is my
- 2:34Speaker 1: biggest quite frankly, it is absolutely my biggest fault as
- 2:38Speaker 1: a human being is people pleasing, which sounds counterintuitive, but
- 2:41Speaker 1: it is. And this people pleasing has led to burnout
- 2:45Speaker 1: for me like no other, and it has led to
- 2:47Speaker 1: my health issues, it has led to relationship stressors, it's
- 2:51Speaker 1: led to work stress right, and like I said in
- 2:54Speaker 1: the beginning, it's not just about your job. It is
- 2:57Speaker 1: about your children, it's about your nieces and nephews, it's
- 3:00Speaker 1: about your spouse's, your family, your politics, your health, you
- 3:04Speaker 1: name it. We're burnt out and we're burnt out and
- 3:06Speaker 1: that can cause resentment. So let's talk about it today.
- 3:10Speaker 1: What is burnout, what are the symptoms of it, what
- 3:13Speaker 1: are the difference between boundaries and balance, and most importantly,
- 3:18Speaker 1: what can we do to get that flame fired up
- 3:21Speaker 1: again instead of it burning us to the ground. So
- 3:24Speaker 1: I have got an amazing guest, Anna Techt, Hello, Darling.
- 3:28Speaker 3: Hello, I'm so happy to be here. I'm so excited
- 3:31Speaker 3: to talk about this because I know that there are
- 3:34Speaker 3: so many high GIENA women, women that are driven to success,
- 3:36Speaker 3: who don't even realize that they're on the path to
- 3:38Speaker 3: burnout until they hit that wall.
- 3:40Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean you used to be in technology
- 3:43Speaker 1: and leader and you were like to in corporate American
- 3:46Speaker 1: all of that, and I get it from being in
- 3:47Speaker 1: technology myself. That burnout is so real, especially when we're
- 3:52Speaker 1: women and guys. It's not that we don't care about you,
- 3:55Speaker 1: because we do, but we take on so much more
- 3:59Speaker 1: than you guys do, and you don't even understand it.
- 4:02Speaker 2: And it's not as slamming you, but it is not
- 4:04Speaker 2: as slamming you.
- 4:05Speaker 1: So you are now dedicating yourself to coaching against burnout.
- 4:11Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I am.
- 4:13Speaker 2: That is insane.
- 4:14Speaker 1: So I'm relling out the red carpet for you, babe,
- 4:16Speaker 1: And I'd like to start talking about what started your
- 4:20Speaker 1: I'd like to say suffocation of burnout and let's take
- 4:24Speaker 1: it from there.
- 4:25Speaker 3: Sure. So this came about obviously, maybe not obviously, but
- 4:29Speaker 3: out of my own burnout experience. And the thing that
- 4:33Speaker 3: I experienced in my life is I've burned out more
- 4:35Speaker 3: than once. I have managed to burn out in every career.
- 4:38Speaker 3: I've burned out as a student. I made my I
- 4:40Speaker 3: work myself until I'm sick and passed out. That is
- 4:42Speaker 3: like the way I go about life. And the last
- 4:45Speaker 3: time I burnt out, it scared me. It was twenty
- 4:48Speaker 3: seventeen I had two babies to take care of. I
- 4:51Speaker 3: had this amazing career that I put a lot into
- 4:54Speaker 3: making happen for myself, and this marriage, and like I
- 4:58Speaker 3: just had so much on the lah on the line,
- 5:00Speaker 3: Like I had this beautiful life, but I had built
- 5:02Speaker 3: and I was not showing up for it. I was
- 5:04Speaker 3: not showing up for anything. I was literally in bed
- 5:07Speaker 3: and I couldn't get up, and I didn't know why.
- 5:10Speaker 3: You know, I went to the doctors. They ran all
- 5:11Speaker 3: the test and they just came back and said, there's
- 5:13Speaker 3: nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. And I'm like,
- 5:16Speaker 3: but there is, obviously, I can't get up. And so
- 5:20Speaker 3: what I realized in that moment was I.
- 5:22Speaker 2: Was just fry.
- 5:24Speaker 3: I pushed myself too hard for too long, and I
- 5:27Speaker 3: needed to change. I need to change how I show
- 5:29Speaker 3: up in the world. And so that was like a
- 5:31Speaker 3: tipping point for me, when I couldn't show up for
- 5:34Speaker 3: my own life, when I was afraid that I was
- 5:36Speaker 3: going to fail as a mom, I was going to
- 5:37Speaker 3: lose my job, my marriage is going to crumble. Because
- 5:40Speaker 3: I was destroyed. I had nothing left to give, and
- 5:44Speaker 3: so I made a decision that I was prioritizing my recovery.
- 5:48Speaker 3: I was going to end the burnout. I was going
- 5:50Speaker 3: to make sure it never happened again. And it was
- 5:53Speaker 3: my commitment to ending the burnout and then making sure
- 5:56Speaker 3: it never happened again that set me on this path
- 5:59Speaker 3: where now I'm working with other professional women, other women
- 6:01Speaker 3: who are driven by success, who are struggling with burnout,
- 6:04Speaker 3: and or who burn out on a habitual basis, you know,
- 6:07Speaker 3: like we're I realized, you know what I did stealing
- 6:10Speaker 3: working myself, and I became a coach, and I studied
- 6:13Speaker 3: all of these things and I got these certifications, but
- 6:16Speaker 3: I was still working in tact, going to conferences, meeting
- 6:18Speaker 3: all these women, talking all these people, and I'm like, oh,
- 6:20Speaker 3: this is not just a me thing. So many of
- 6:23Speaker 3: the women I was talking to were also burnt out,
- 6:25Speaker 3: They were fried, they were struggling, Like I need to help.
- 6:28Speaker 3: I need to set up a system that can help
- 6:29Speaker 3: people and the burnout and make sure it never happens again,
- 6:33Speaker 3: Like way faster than it took me, because you know,
- 6:35Speaker 3: let's accelerate that healing, you know, so you're not spending
- 6:38Speaker 3: years wandering through hundreds of books. I talked to like
- 6:42Speaker 3: every kind of professionally you can imagine, you know, chirofactors, acupuncturist, doctors,
- 6:48Speaker 3: every kind of specialists you can think of to find
- 6:50Speaker 3: my way there. And I was like, I can just
- 6:52Speaker 3: really condense this and get a predictable, repeatable system in
- 6:55Speaker 3: place to help women get unstuck.
- 6:58Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that the getting stuck part of
- 7:01Speaker 1: it is where I have had to be challenged in
- 7:05Speaker 1: my world to be like, I've always been high performing.
- 7:08Speaker 1: I've always been the woman that's like, hear me, rore
- 7:11Speaker 1: got it, I.
- 7:11Speaker 2: Got it, I got it, don't worry about it. I'll
- 7:13Speaker 2: take care of it. I'll pay for it.
- 7:16Speaker 1: And I don't even know where that came from outside
- 7:18Speaker 1: of as I've gone through actually doing this show. Is
- 7:22Speaker 1: I had no idea how much people pleasing was part
- 7:27Speaker 1: of the burnout and why that happens to women in particular,
- 7:34Speaker 1: where we're faced with all of these adversities, and we've
- 7:37Speaker 1: got kids and nieces and nephews and all of these
- 7:40Speaker 1: people that are coming and going, and we're doing all
- 7:41Speaker 1: the things trying to run our business. We're trying to
- 7:43Speaker 1: be successful. We're trying, and we're trying, and we're trying
- 7:46Speaker 1: and we're trying it. It just it feels so endless. It
- 7:51Speaker 1: feels so endless, and so why do we do this?
- 7:56Speaker 1: Why do we do this? Especially women? And I'm sorry
- 7:59Speaker 1: guys again, I'm say we're not putting you out there,
- 8:01Speaker 1: but this is definitely a woman saying big time, and
- 8:05Speaker 1: we're also going to kind of blame you.
- 8:08Speaker 2: Okay.
- 8:08Speaker 3: So there are men obviously that burnout. There are men
- 8:10Speaker 3: that are people pleasers. So however, women are reporting burnout
- 8:15Speaker 3: on a much higher level. So yeah, so let's dive
- 8:19Speaker 3: into that. So I love the bringing of the people
- 8:21Speaker 3: pleasing because what you don't hear talked about when people
- 8:24Speaker 3: are talking about burnout is the five to six or
- 8:26Speaker 3: I think like the four success traps, and these are
- 8:29Speaker 3: the people pleasing and that's where you know, you're trying
- 8:32Speaker 3: to hear your boss happy, your kids happy, your spouse happy,
- 8:34Speaker 3: and your needs are inevitably last on the list on
- 8:38Speaker 3: the bottom. And part of that people pleasing tend there
- 8:41Speaker 3: tends to be, you know, a fear of saying no.
- 8:44Speaker 3: And the second success trap is perfectionism. So we've all
- 8:47Speaker 3: heard people talking about their perfectionism and its relationship to burnout.
- 8:51Speaker 3: So you know, having impossibly high standards, high attention to detail.
- 8:55Speaker 3: Something I want to call out about these success traps
- 8:57Speaker 3: is that their flip sides of a coin. Right, So
- 8:59Speaker 3: these are the behaviors that have likely driven you to success.
- 9:03Speaker 3: So they've been working for you in so many ways
- 9:06Speaker 3: in your life, which is why you keep doing them. Right.
- 9:08Speaker 3: So on one side, people pleasing and a fear of
- 9:10Speaker 3: saying no. You are making other people happy and you
- 9:13Speaker 3: are probably getting rewarded for that by being given more work.
- 9:17Speaker 3: If you have high standards, that's a great thing. It's
- 9:20Speaker 3: a wonderful thing to have attention to detail, the high standards.
- 9:23Speaker 1: Right.
- 9:24Speaker 3: What's different about these success traps, though, is when the
- 9:27Speaker 3: drivers to success and it's like they cross a line.
- 9:30Speaker 3: They've gone too far, and they start to drive us
- 9:32Speaker 3: to burn out. And I believe that happens when our behaviors,
- 9:36Speaker 3: these success traps are rooted in fear. And the fears
- 9:40Speaker 3: that I've seen come up a lot in working with
- 9:43Speaker 3: women is people call it the imposter syndrome, but it's
- 9:46Speaker 3: really the fear of nothing worthy. And so a lot
- 9:49Speaker 3: of women they are showing up and they're proving themselves,
- 9:52Speaker 3: and these are highly qualified women. In leadership. They are
- 9:56Speaker 3: more than qualified for the job, right, but they're showing
- 9:58Speaker 3: up every day like they have to prove themselves. It's
- 10:00Speaker 3: like they're brand new and they pushing and they push
- 10:02Speaker 3: and they push, and they feel they always had to
- 10:03Speaker 3: be on, they always had to be responsive. And at
- 10:05Speaker 3: the root of that is a fear of you know,
- 10:08Speaker 3: nothing worthy. I fear of not being accepted right. And
- 10:11Speaker 3: so those are the what I find is like when
- 10:13Speaker 3: these success traps, when they go from driving you to
- 10:17Speaker 3: success and they cross the line and to burnout, they're
- 10:19Speaker 3: usually rooted in fear. So we've got the people pleasing
- 10:22Speaker 3: that fear of saying no perfectionism. There's also the overextending behavior.
- 10:29Speaker 3: There're a success trap, and that's where whenever you are
- 10:32Speaker 3: helping everyone around you, So your team needs help, your
- 10:35Speaker 3: children need help, your husband needs help, everyone needs help,
- 10:38Speaker 3: so you are picking up the problems and responsibilities of others.
- 10:41Speaker 3: And then the fourth success trap is overachieving. And I
- 10:43Speaker 3: am a big guilty one on this and that's just
- 10:47Speaker 3: it's almost like an addiction to being busy. And so
- 10:50Speaker 3: that's where we feel like, if to be worthy, we
- 10:55Speaker 3: need to be busy, right, So if we're not double
- 10:57Speaker 3: booked all day long, then we're not worthy, We're not
- 10:59Speaker 3: in and not valued. So we make sure that we're
- 11:02Speaker 3: busy all of the time so that being worthy. So
- 11:05Speaker 3: those are the five success traps that books out of
- 11:08Speaker 3: the coin right, they can drive us to success, out
- 11:10Speaker 3: of balance when rooted and fear, they drive.
- 11:12Speaker 2: Us to burn out. Yeah, and you know I say
- 11:15Speaker 2: this often on the show.
- 11:16Speaker 1: My father has always said, lindsay, the most wonderful things
- 11:22Speaker 1: about you are the worst things about you. And I
- 11:26Speaker 1: say it all the time just in my general life.
- 11:28Speaker 1: Like I'm like, because it's true, I am overproductive, over perfectionist,
- 11:34Speaker 1: and those things do. They do me very very well
- 11:37Speaker 1: in some places, but they also take me into you know,
- 11:42Speaker 1: Dante's inferno on the other side, because I am trying
- 11:48Speaker 1: to do all of these things for other people that
- 11:51Speaker 1: are not interested in me helping them, but I want
- 11:54Speaker 1: to help them.
- 11:55Speaker 2: I want to help them.
- 11:56Speaker 1: I'm like, I am watching you completely destroy your life
- 11:59Speaker 1: and I'm here to help, help, help, help, help, and
- 12:02Speaker 1: all it does is actually drag me down when people
- 12:06Speaker 1: that I'm trying to help don't even give a shit
- 12:10Speaker 1: about where I'm trying to help them. And so that
- 12:12Speaker 1: people pleasing inside of me has been a very interesting
- 12:16Speaker 1: challenge over the past couple of years as I've learning
- 12:19Speaker 1: about what that actually means, because it almost turns itself
- 12:24Speaker 1: around to me almost being selfish because I want to
- 12:30Speaker 1: take care of everybody else. And is it because I
- 12:33Speaker 1: want to make sure that everybody else is taken care
- 12:36Speaker 1: of and I get a pat on my back? Or
- 12:39Speaker 1: is it because I actually love and care for these
- 12:42Speaker 1: people and really want them to get their shit together?
- 12:47Speaker 2: There is this like weird, like Teeter.
- 12:50Speaker 1: Totter that I'm going on right now, in particular in
- 12:53Speaker 1: a certain situation in my sweetie and nice life, that
- 12:57Speaker 1: I am doubting anything that I've ever done to help
- 13:02Speaker 1: and support everybody that I always have. But that comes
- 13:05Speaker 1: from this fear. So where is fear coming from?
- 13:10Speaker 3: So the fear is going to come from? Like I said,
- 13:12Speaker 3: there's so many ways, right, We can so many ways
- 13:14Speaker 3: that we can pick up a fear of mindset in
- 13:16Speaker 3: our lives. And it can range from having super critical parents.
- 13:20Speaker 3: It can range from fearing of disapproval from said parents
- 13:24Speaker 3: if they have really really high expectations. It can come
- 13:27Speaker 3: from being rejected maybe having experiencing a job loss or
- 13:30Speaker 3: seeing all of your colleagues around you laid off. It
- 13:33Speaker 3: can come from growing up in an environment where there
- 13:36Speaker 3: wasn't enough. It can also come out of trauma almost
- 13:41Speaker 3: and so that the house are endless. How we got
- 13:45Speaker 3: there is endless like the other. There's so many ways
- 13:48Speaker 3: that we can end up with a fear mindset. The key, though,
- 13:50Speaker 3: is to change the mindset. Yes, so we got there somehow,
- 13:56Speaker 3: somehow We've got these beliefs. Somehow we have these feelings
- 13:59Speaker 3: and this understanding of the world around us that we
- 14:01Speaker 3: feel like we have to prove ourselves. We feel like
- 14:03Speaker 3: we have to maintain a certain standard, We feel like
- 14:06Speaker 3: we have to help everyone around us. So what do
- 14:08Speaker 3: we do? This is not It sounds simple to change,
- 14:11Speaker 3: but it is not easy to change. And I know
- 14:13Speaker 3: this firsthand. There's this this key to ending burnout that
- 14:17Speaker 3: I don't hear people talking about. So I always want
- 14:19Speaker 3: to call it like a secret key. There's a secret
- 14:21Speaker 3: key to ending burnout, just because I don't hear it
- 14:24Speaker 3: being discussed. And that is authenticity. And I know that
- 14:27Speaker 3: sounds really rude. You're like, what does that even mean?
- 14:30Speaker 3: And why would it? Why would it have any impact
- 14:33Speaker 3: on burnout. And so stepping into authenticity, what that really
- 14:36Speaker 3: does for us is it when we step into alignment
- 14:39Speaker 3: with our values, right, we prioritize and align your actions
- 14:44Speaker 3: with your core values and beliefs, and that will reduce
- 14:46Speaker 3: the internal conflict, a dissonance, that resonant that you mentioned
- 14:51Speaker 3: resentment earlier. It will reduce that resentment, that resistance inside
- 14:56Speaker 3: that is draining you. Right, So being in align with
- 14:59Speaker 3: your values super important. It'll reduce emotional exhaustion because authenticity
- 15:04Speaker 3: involves us being true to ourselves and expressing our thoughts, beliefs,
- 15:07Speaker 3: and needs honestly. And that openness and that honesty can
- 15:12Speaker 3: reduce the emotional exhaustion by fostering genuine connections with others.
- 15:17Speaker 3: And also by being authentic, we become more self aware,
- 15:21Speaker 3: and that self awareness leads us to understand our strengths,
- 15:24Speaker 3: our limitations, and where our boundaries need to be. And
- 15:28Speaker 3: that awareness kind of allows us at realistic expectations for
- 15:31Speaker 3: ourselves and you know, reduce the likelihood of overcommitment that
- 15:34Speaker 3: can lead to burnout. So there are some really big
- 15:36Speaker 3: pieces that stepping into authenticity by you know, using that
- 15:40Speaker 3: key to unlock burnout that can can shift us away
- 15:44Speaker 3: from the burnout cycle. But that I know that that
- 15:47Speaker 3: stuff sounds kind of like, how right? How do these things?
- 15:52Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 15:52Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, because I mean everybody that's listening is
- 15:55Speaker 1: going like every single thing in their brain is swirling
- 15:59Speaker 1: ourn So everybody, just listen to your brain swirling around
- 16:03Speaker 1: for just a hot second, okay, because that is where
- 16:08Speaker 1: we all kind of feel like. This is almost like
- 16:12Speaker 1: we feel like we're out of control to a certain extent,
- 16:16Speaker 1: even though we are people and I'm speaking to people
- 16:20Speaker 1: that are incredible people pleasers. I am a person that
- 16:24Speaker 1: wants to have complete control of my environment all of
- 16:28Speaker 1: the time, and unfortunately, the world around me is out
- 16:33Speaker 1: of control. So I am trying to control a world
- 16:39Speaker 1: that I have no control over. And that's something that
- 16:42Speaker 1: I've been dealing with since I was a very very
- 16:44Speaker 1: very little girl. I think I've been burned out since
- 16:47Speaker 1: I was nine. I mean, I'm not even kidding, And
- 16:50Speaker 1: I know that that stems from childhood trauma to a
- 16:52Speaker 1: certain extent, and I know that I've been identifying things
- 16:57Speaker 1: throughout my life that have led towards this this burnout
- 17:05Speaker 1: because I was burnout when I was like in junior high,
- 17:09Speaker 1: I was already burnout and motherfucker, you know, like I
- 17:14Speaker 1: was already there. And now I'm forty six and I'm
- 17:17Speaker 1: still doing the same things and still trying to fight
- 17:22Speaker 1: for the same things that I did when I was
- 17:25Speaker 1: a young girl.
- 17:26Speaker 2: And I do that through my business. I do that
- 17:30Speaker 2: through success.
- 17:32Speaker 1: I deal with it through making money, being successful, doing
- 17:37Speaker 1: this show, doing this, doing doing doing doing doing that
- 17:41Speaker 1: is how I have treated my trauma. So we got
- 17:43Speaker 1: to talk about that, baby.
- 17:45Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely so, yes. So I subscribed to some of
- 17:49Speaker 3: the same kind of mindset like traps is I if
- 17:53Speaker 3: I make enough money, I will be safe, can't be
- 17:55Speaker 3: harmed if I have enough money. So I need to
- 17:57Speaker 3: really successful work and you can be safe without making
- 18:02Speaker 3: a lot of money. I did. I have learned this,
- 18:04Speaker 3: and although I'm still not willing to not make a
- 18:07Speaker 3: lot of money, however, I'm not willing to injure myself.
- 18:12Speaker 1: I do not want to live on a tent, but
- 18:15Speaker 1: this side of the river, no, I don't want that.
- 18:20Speaker 3: Yes, but I think what you're saying is like, okay,
- 18:22Speaker 3: so we want the success. Absolutely, Like there's a reason
- 18:25Speaker 3: I name my company Serene Success because I love success.
- 18:28Speaker 3: I want the success, I want the money, I want
- 18:30Speaker 3: the comfort, I want the security.
- 18:32Speaker 1: And success can be defined however, your success, right, yes, yes,
- 18:38Speaker 1: so I.
- 18:38Speaker 3: Mean that that also involves having healthy relationships. That also
- 18:41Speaker 3: involves having a healthy body. So we define what success means.
- 18:44Speaker 3: But then there's a serene aspect, right, so success and
- 18:48Speaker 3: be able to be present to enjoy it. And so
- 18:51Speaker 3: so you know, I've got this five step method I
- 18:53Speaker 3: called the Peace method, and they sound simple, sometimes harder
- 18:58Speaker 3: in execution, but this there's pretty simple. That the first
- 19:01Speaker 3: one is to pursue your yes, and that's where we
- 19:04Speaker 3: kind of ditch all the shoulds. So I know that
- 19:07Speaker 3: in my life, I've picked up a lot of expectations
- 19:09Speaker 3: like you know, my parent my parents wanted to adopt
- 19:11Speaker 3: be a doctor, and or you know, in the world
- 19:14Speaker 3: of tech, there's you know, certain expectations that your career
- 19:17Speaker 3: will go a certain way, or you know, you want
- 19:19Speaker 3: to be successful, you succeed like this person or and
- 19:23Speaker 3: I know a lot of my clients, like you know,
- 19:24Speaker 3: I have one plan that's a first generation right, so
- 19:27Speaker 3: their parents loaded on lots and lots of lots of expectations.
- 19:30Speaker 3: It's like, okay, I got to be a doctor, I
- 19:31Speaker 3: got to be perfect all times, got to make enough
- 19:33Speaker 3: money to support myself, and you know, the folks back
- 19:35Speaker 3: home and like just piling and piling and piling up
- 19:37Speaker 3: all these expectations from all over the place. And so
- 19:41Speaker 3: what we need to do is like peel back the
- 19:42Speaker 3: onion and figure out yet clarity on what matters to
- 19:46Speaker 3: you now in this season of life. Because also what
- 19:50Speaker 3: I see people doing is marching to the beat of
- 19:52Speaker 3: a drum that they set back seven years ago. So
- 19:56Speaker 3: in different seasons of life, in different phases, we have
- 19:59Speaker 3: different you know, aspects of our of our purpose coming
- 20:02Speaker 3: into play. Right, So tuning in to what matters to
- 20:05Speaker 3: us now in this season of life, letting go the shoulds,
- 20:08Speaker 3: and then actively pursuing what we're saying yes to. Simple
- 20:13Speaker 3: solution to stop saying yes to everything is to get
- 20:15Speaker 3: really clear on what your big yes is, Like what
- 20:18Speaker 3: matters to you? Not what are you asked to do,
- 20:21Speaker 3: not what is coming your way, but like what is
- 20:23Speaker 3: the one thing that matters to you. We're like the
- 20:25Speaker 3: top couple of things that are in alignment with your
- 20:27Speaker 3: core values, that are in alignment with what matters to you, Right,
- 20:31Speaker 3: now this season of life and what does that yes
- 20:35Speaker 3: look like? And when you get really crystal clear on that,
- 20:37Speaker 3: it becomes easier to say no to the things that
- 20:40Speaker 3: aren't going to move that forward. Because everything you say
- 20:44Speaker 3: yes to is a no to something else. So if
- 20:46Speaker 3: we're not intentional strategic with our yeses, we may not
- 20:50Speaker 3: end up we want to go. We may not end
- 20:52Speaker 3: up anywhere other than exhausted. So yes, So getting really
- 20:55Speaker 3: really intentional and aware of what we're saying yes to.
- 20:59Speaker 3: And then the second and stuff is I call it
- 21:02Speaker 3: energized your being. And this is where we you know,
- 21:05Speaker 3: we reset your nervous system, we release trauma and start
- 21:10Speaker 3: taking care of our own selves. Right, so we are
- 21:14Speaker 3: eating for energy, improving our sleep, connecting with loved ones,
- 21:17Speaker 3: joyful movement, these basics basic human care that myself and
- 21:23Speaker 3: all the women i've I've worked with and talked to
- 21:25Speaker 3: put at the bottom of the list, right.
- 21:27Speaker 2: Bottom bottom of thought.
- 21:29Speaker 3: And then we get sick.
- 21:30Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't know why, and I know why.
- 21:34Speaker 3: Now we know why.
- 21:35Speaker 2: We don't know why. Now that's insane. We know now why.
- 21:39Speaker 1: We know now why, so there are no excuses anymore.
- 21:42Speaker 1: We know now and that and I am speaking to
- 21:45Speaker 1: myself when I say this. I know all of this.
- 21:48Speaker 1: I know this now, especially by doing this show. My God,
- 21:51Speaker 1: the things I've learned about the the places that I've
- 21:56Speaker 1: held The body keeps the score, right, I use it
- 22:00Speaker 1: all the time on this show. Body keeps a score
- 22:02Speaker 1: all of these places that all of this stuff has
- 22:05Speaker 1: sat in and I've not having a conversation with and said,
- 22:09Speaker 1: you know what, it's okay for you to go now.
- 22:11Speaker 2: It's okay for you to release that. Now. This was
- 22:13Speaker 2: something that happened in your nine.
- 22:15Speaker 1: This was thirteen, this was seventeen, this was twenty one,
- 22:18Speaker 1: this was twenty four, this was twenty seven.
- 22:20Speaker 2: Go up the ladder.
- 22:21Speaker 1: It's about time for me to relinquish the control that
- 22:25Speaker 1: that stuff has held on me and my health.
- 22:28Speaker 2: It's time to say goodbye.
- 22:30Speaker 1: Right.
- 22:31Speaker 3: And also, like the I think part of it is
- 22:33Speaker 3: also Haavy compassion.
- 22:35Speaker 2: Right.
- 22:35Speaker 3: So for those of you who are listening right now
- 22:37Speaker 3: and you're like, I'm a people pleaser, I'm a perfectionist.
- 22:39Speaker 3: I'm going to beat myself up now. I put my
- 22:42Speaker 3: health last.
- 22:42Speaker 2: I'm so tiful consented here.
- 22:44Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So don't beat yourself up if you're doing
- 22:48Speaker 3: all of these things, right, super common observe with curiosity.
- 22:52Speaker 3: You're like, oh, I just deprioritize my workout again because
- 22:56Speaker 3: I think that I'm going to have more time if
- 22:59Speaker 3: I sit down and crank through this work that I've
- 23:01Speaker 3: set for myself to do. You know, there's there's ways
- 23:04Speaker 3: that we sabotage ourselves and sabotage as a part of
- 23:06Speaker 3: the process. So so yeah, so we want to energize ourself.
- 23:11Speaker 3: And one of the big mines that shifts is to
- 23:13Speaker 3: realize that you are the most critical asset in your business,
- 23:19Speaker 3: in your career, in your relationships, in your life, and
- 23:23Speaker 3: you require maintenance. So investing in yourself is necessary. It's
- 23:31Speaker 3: a requirement for all of these sort of things that
- 23:33Speaker 3: you think that you need to do. So you've got
- 23:35Speaker 3: to put yourself first. We all know this, you know,
- 23:38Speaker 3: we've heard it before. I can't We're have an empty cup.
- 23:41Speaker 3: But the way that I shifted it because I like,
- 23:43Speaker 3: I'm a very responsible person, right, I like to get
- 23:45Speaker 3: things done. If I think of myself as an asset,
- 23:47Speaker 3: if I think of myself as a resource that has
- 23:51Speaker 3: to be managed in order to do X Y and
- 23:53Speaker 3: Z and x y and Z, matter to me that
- 23:57Speaker 3: I have to take care of this resource because this
- 23:59Speaker 3: resource can't fund if I don't. And so that's how
- 24:02Speaker 3: we get into the prioritizing of self, and it's really
- 24:05Speaker 3: done a number on our minds where we think that
- 24:07Speaker 3: it's wrong to take care of ourselves and noble to suffer.
- 24:12Speaker 2: It is not.
- 24:13Speaker 3: It is not noble to be a martyr. You are
- 24:15Speaker 3: the most important as asset in your life. Invest in
- 24:18Speaker 3: yourself and you will see exponential impacts on the areas
- 24:23Speaker 3: of your life. Do you care about your relationships will improve,
- 24:26Speaker 3: your business will improve, your career will grow. Like the
- 24:29Speaker 3: things that you want to happen, that you're slaving away,
- 24:31Speaker 3: stressing and striving and pushing for will start to happen
- 24:35Speaker 3: for you when you put yourself first and you start
- 24:37Speaker 3: investing in the one resource that matters, which is you.
- 24:39Speaker 1: There are so many people that needed to hear what
- 24:41Speaker 1: you just said. I am one of them. I have
- 24:43Speaker 1: fallen into every single one of the traps my whole
- 24:46Speaker 1: entire life. I've always been that person that puts everybody
- 24:51Speaker 1: ahead of myself, which is this. I come from a
- 24:54Speaker 1: religious background. I'm not religious at all anymore, but it
- 24:57Speaker 1: came from this like you've got to get give of
- 25:00Speaker 1: yourself to everybody else. And it may sound beautiful, but
- 25:08Speaker 1: I feel like the message should have been, take care
- 25:11Speaker 1: of your soul, your heart, your spirit, you're this you, you.
- 25:16Speaker 2: Before you can take care of other people.
- 25:19Speaker 1: Because if we are not strong enough to take care
- 25:22Speaker 1: of our own self, how are we going to be
- 25:25Speaker 1: better for anybody else?
- 25:28Speaker 2: And I have learned that the.
- 25:29Speaker 1: Hard way, and one hundred percent it is why I
- 25:33Speaker 1: am ill, not even ninety nine percent. It is one
- 25:38Speaker 1: hundred percent why I ended up not having but starting
- 25:43Speaker 1: this show was because I learned very quickly how important
- 25:50Speaker 1: these conversations are and they're not being had and they
- 25:55Speaker 1: need to be had. And I'm grateful for you to
- 25:58Speaker 1: have this with me today because this has cut your time.
- 26:00Speaker 2: I mean, is just like stupid good.
- 26:03Speaker 1: But I'm glad I am people pleasing again like a motherfucker.
- 26:07Speaker 2: And I am angry with myself because I was doing
- 26:12Speaker 2: so good.
- 26:14Speaker 1: I have been applying so many wonderful things, and then
- 26:17Speaker 1: I jumped right back into my people pleasing trap. So
- 26:20Speaker 1: I'm right back into it and now I am clawing
- 26:24Speaker 1: my way out of it. Yeah, and other people are
- 26:29Speaker 1: doing the same thing, and it's okay, guys, it's ok
- 26:31Speaker 1: it's okay, it's okay.
- 26:33Speaker 3: It's a part of the process. Yeah, and I love that,
- 26:35Speaker 3: you know, we have this forum to talk because the
- 26:39Speaker 3: women who struggle, who have a habit of burning out,
- 26:42Speaker 3: like you, like me, like the women I work with,
- 26:45Speaker 3: like the women who have a habit of it. Right,
- 26:46Speaker 3: we're on oh rest cycle. We're doing this on raps yep.
- 26:49Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this is a one off.
- 26:51Speaker 3: Yeah. The women who are struggling with the success traps,
- 26:54Speaker 3: the people pleasing, the overachieving, the over extending and helping,
- 26:58Speaker 3: the fear of saying no. All of that's these women
- 27:01Speaker 3: who've been trained their whole lives to be selfless, are
- 27:05Speaker 3: so afraid that being selfish by putting themselves first, by
- 27:08Speaker 3: doing basic self care like eating their lunch, like going
- 27:13Speaker 3: for a walk, you know basic.
- 27:15Speaker 1: Right, we're even doing like feed our body and exercise.
- 27:19Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:19Speaker 3: Yeah, the silly stuff that we should be doing, but
- 27:22Speaker 3: we're not doing it because we're so afraid of being selfish.
- 27:24Speaker 3: Here is the message. You couldn't be selfish if you tried.
- 27:28Speaker 3: Those of us who are wired this way, those of
- 27:30Speaker 3: us with this kind of a relationship with showing up
- 27:32Speaker 3: in the world. It is darn near impossible to be selfish.
- 27:35Speaker 3: You're so far on the other end of the spectrum
- 27:38Speaker 3: that you trying to be selfish is just going to
- 27:41Speaker 3: get you a little bit closer to the middle. So
- 27:43Speaker 3: don't worry about the selfishness you're not You're not selfish.
- 27:47Speaker 3: And so I love that you're saying, like, Okay, there's
- 27:49Speaker 3: these things, these habits that we have. And I loved
- 27:52Speaker 3: thinking about it, like hait right, because one of the
- 27:54Speaker 3: things that I do with women is like, you have
- 27:56Speaker 3: to set up conditions for a notable success because we
- 27:59Speaker 3: are changing behavior yours and as an adult, any kind
- 28:03Speaker 3: of change, any kind of learning, right, We're going to
- 28:06Speaker 3: learn something new. We're going to learn a new way
- 28:08Speaker 3: to show up in the world, a new way to
- 28:10Speaker 3: interact with working, have a new relationship with work. Anything
- 28:15Speaker 3: new like that will trigger babotage, right, because anything new,
- 28:20Speaker 3: any new learning as an adult is essentially change in
- 28:23Speaker 3: our cretit brain. And there's so many ways to refer
- 28:26Speaker 3: to that thing. The cretit brain the part of our
- 28:28Speaker 3: the part of our brain that is there to keep
- 28:30Speaker 3: us safe. It wants things to stay the same, because
- 28:33Speaker 3: the same is familiar, the same is safe. It's been
- 28:35Speaker 3: working for you so far. You're still alive, right, And
- 28:39Speaker 3: so it'll flare up and you know, drag you back
- 28:42Speaker 3: into old behaviors or come up with excuses like well,
- 28:47Speaker 3: I'll just go for a walk later because I'll have
- 28:49Speaker 3: so much more time after I finish this really big
- 28:51Speaker 3: project that's on my mind.
- 28:52Speaker 2: Well, it also shows up in our body.
- 28:54Speaker 3: It does, yes, And so yeah, that's where the sicknesses
- 28:58Speaker 3: come in. I don't know if I had have it
- 29:00Speaker 3: getting sick. I don't any more thinking, but yeah, we
- 29:03Speaker 3: get sick all the time. And that was another way
- 29:06Speaker 3: of my body just kind of like just stopping.
- 29:09Speaker 1: Yeah, your body, your body keeps the score. We've talked
- 29:13Speaker 1: about it all the time on the show, the book,
- 29:16Speaker 1: We know about it.
- 29:17Speaker 2: It is straight up.
- 29:19Speaker 1: Our bodies are affected by everything we do, everything we eat,
- 29:24Speaker 1: the movies, we watch, the people we are hanging around,
- 29:29Speaker 1: our families, that we have no control over, our ancestry,
- 29:32Speaker 1: I mean all of it, guys.
- 29:34Speaker 2: It's a lot. It's a lot.
- 29:36Speaker 1: And until you start paying attention to the things that
- 29:40Speaker 1: actually matter and not focus on the things that don't
- 29:43Speaker 1: that outside influence that's always penetrating us if we don't
- 29:48Speaker 1: just like get in and go, okay, yeah, this is
- 29:51Speaker 1: really messing my entire life up.
- 29:54Speaker 2: And then you go back down and you go.
- 29:56Speaker 1: This is the reason, this is the reason that I
- 30:00Speaker 1: am this upset. And it's like sometimes it's mediocre at best,
- 30:04Speaker 1: like it's the smallest thing, but that all these people
- 30:08Speaker 1: and all these things all climb on top of it
- 30:10Speaker 1: and they make it larger than it should be, and
- 30:13Speaker 1: then us people pleasers, add more to it on top
- 30:16Speaker 1: of it because oh my gosh, this is going to
- 30:18Speaker 1: be the end of the world and we've got to
- 30:19Speaker 1: make sure everything is okay. And like, I can't even
- 30:24Speaker 1: begin to explain how many like school lunches I'm making
- 30:27Speaker 1: for children that I don't even know in my brain.
- 30:32Speaker 2: I'm making. I'm a lunch lady, Hannah, I'm a lunch lady. Goodness,
- 30:39Speaker 2: maybe it's food for kids. I don't have.
- 30:42Speaker 3: So much work that you don't need to do. And
- 30:43Speaker 3: I think also like I know when we're when we're
- 30:47Speaker 3: taking on projects or like if we're incorporate, you're you're
- 30:49Speaker 3: familiar with like the whole rules and responsibilities. So another
- 30:54Speaker 3: way to structure this in our brain is like, what
- 30:56Speaker 3: are we really responsible for? What do we have ownership of?
- 30:58Speaker 2: Yeah, the only thing.
- 30:59Speaker 3: You're responsible for is you at the end of the day,
- 31:03Speaker 3: at the end of your life. The only thing you're
- 31:06Speaker 3: responsible for is you and the outcomes that you've created
- 31:09Speaker 3: in your life. So realizing that, it kind of becomes
- 31:12Speaker 3: a lot easier to let other people go and fail.
- 31:15Speaker 3: Just let them, let them, that's okay, and it's good
- 31:17Speaker 3: for them.
- 31:18Speaker 1: I love you today, I love you hand them today.
- 31:22Speaker 1: I needed this message today because I never put myself first,
- 31:27Speaker 1: and I continue to say, oh no, I got it,
- 31:29Speaker 1: I got it, I'm doing it, I'm doing the thing,
- 31:31Speaker 1: and then I fall straight back into it. And I
- 31:34Speaker 1: needed this message today because I have to. I have
- 31:38Speaker 1: to boundary.
- 31:38Speaker 2: Some of the fuckers.
- 31:40Speaker 3: Today talking about boundaries. So step three in the piece method,
- 31:46Speaker 3: just the system to end burn out right and make
- 31:47Speaker 3: sure it doesn't come back, is to assert your voice. Yeah,
- 31:51Speaker 3: And so that's where we learn how to ask for
- 31:53Speaker 3: what we want and get it. And that's also how
- 31:56Speaker 3: we learn where we learned how to say no right
- 31:58Speaker 3: and getting confidence and pctice because say no is a skill.
- 32:03Speaker 3: So just because you feel afraid of doing it. Yeah, yes,
- 32:06Speaker 3: saying no, and you may not have developed the skill.
- 32:08Speaker 3: I did not develop the skill of saying no until
- 32:10Speaker 3: I was in my late thirties.
- 32:12Speaker 2: I'm working on it and I'm forty six.
- 32:15Speaker 3: Right, So it's realizing that it's a skill that you
- 32:18Speaker 3: can learn, you can practice, and you can develop, just
- 32:24Speaker 3: like anything else. Just like anything else. So just because
- 32:27Speaker 3: you're uncomfortable saying no, or you said no and you
- 32:29Speaker 3: didn't get the response or reaction you're hoping for, it
- 32:32Speaker 3: doesn't mean you suck at it. It just means or
- 32:34Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that you can't say no. Doesn't mean
- 32:36Speaker 3: that's not part of your personality. It's not.
- 32:38Speaker 2: It's a skill.
- 32:39Speaker 3: And then the last two steps are claim your surplus.
- 32:42Speaker 3: Because if you've done pursue your yes, energize your being,
- 32:46Speaker 3: and assert your voice, Guess what, you now have more energy,
- 32:49Speaker 3: more focus, and more time in your life. And so
- 32:53Speaker 3: what we want to do with that fourth step is
- 32:55Speaker 3: make sure that we're claiming that time for you, making
- 32:57Speaker 3: sure that we're claiming that energy for you. What matters
- 33:00Speaker 3: for you. Remember, you're not being selfish, You're investing in
- 33:02Speaker 3: the asset that matters the most, and everyone else is
- 33:05Speaker 3: going to benefit from that investment. So we claim that
- 33:08Speaker 3: turtless and make sure that we're focusing all that extra
- 33:10Speaker 3: energy and time that you now have back on to
- 33:12Speaker 3: yourself so that you continue to grow and show up
- 33:16Speaker 3: in the best way possible in your life.
- 33:17Speaker 1: Well, and I love that you said that about how
- 33:19Speaker 1: when we make positive changes in our lives, when we
- 33:24Speaker 1: make anything positive in our life, it absolutely trickles down
- 33:29Speaker 1: to other people.
- 33:29Speaker 2: And we think that if.
- 33:31Speaker 1: We take care of everybody else, then it's going to
- 33:34Speaker 1: reflect positively on us.
- 33:36Speaker 2: It is not the case.
- 33:37Speaker 1: It's absolutely not the case, certainly not from our experience
- 33:40Speaker 1: and certainly not from this conversation. But when I know
- 33:43Speaker 1: that I've made some changes where I'm like nope, people
- 33:47Speaker 1: are like, wow, okay, it's almost like some people in
- 33:51Speaker 1: my world that are closest to me, where I've made
- 33:54Speaker 1: some boundaries with them, they have almost, in their words, said, well,
- 33:59Speaker 1: find almost like they knew that they just have been
- 34:03Speaker 1: taking advantage of me for this entire time. Like it's
- 34:07Speaker 1: such a slippery slope with all of it.
- 34:10Speaker 3: It is, And what you're saying is true, Like if
- 34:13Speaker 3: you don't claim your yes. If you don't pursue your yes,
- 34:15Speaker 3: someone else will claim your yes. Yeah, because that's human nature,
- 34:18Speaker 3: that's just the world. They're not necessarily being evil, they're
- 34:21Speaker 3: just they're just absorbing a resource that's available. Yeah, because
- 34:25Speaker 3: you've made it available. And yeah, it's it's such a powerful,
- 34:30Speaker 3: powerful thing when we start putting up those boundaries and communicating.
- 34:34Speaker 3: And I love how you said like it has positive
- 34:36Speaker 3: effects on other people. I was terrified to say no
- 34:39Speaker 3: to anything at work at one point in my career,
- 34:41Speaker 3: right I was like double triple booked. I was dragged
- 34:43Speaker 3: into a million projects. I was doing five miles jobs.
- 34:45Speaker 1: Yes, yes, sure, I got it, I got it, I
- 34:47Speaker 1: got it, I'll do it, I'll take care of it.
- 34:48Speaker 3: And I would not say I didn't say no to
- 34:49Speaker 3: anything ever. And then I got very sick. But what
- 34:53Speaker 3: I learned was when I came back, when I recovered,
- 34:55Speaker 3: and I started saying no, I learned how to say no.
- 34:57Speaker 3: First of all, you know, would you like me to
- 34:59Speaker 3: do or that you are the resources that we have
- 35:02Speaker 3: right now, we can do what you just asked were
- 35:04Speaker 3: in this timeframe, or we could get more resources and
- 35:07Speaker 3: do it faster, Like what would you like to do here,
- 35:09Speaker 3: you know, learning how to have these conversations right. And
- 35:11Speaker 3: what ended up happening was I did not lose my job,
- 35:14Speaker 3: which was my fear. I got promoted, I was given resources,
- 35:18Speaker 3: I was given a team.
- 35:19Speaker 2: I love it.
- 35:20Speaker 3: So I was no longer doing five people's jobs. I
- 35:22Speaker 3: had five people to do my job. It was magic.
- 35:25Speaker 2: It is that that was going to happen.
- 35:27Speaker 1: Absolutely not, because we think that immediately by us speaking
- 35:31Speaker 1: our voice, there were essentially these weak women that can't
- 35:35Speaker 1: put up with anything, and we're going to lose our
- 35:36Speaker 1: job or lose our spouse or lose our kid or
- 35:39Speaker 1: whatever it is. And by just sticking up for ourselves,
- 35:45Speaker 1: isn't that nuts? What a brain twisted nineteen eighty resituation
- 35:49Speaker 1: we're in.
- 35:51Speaker 3: And it's good for them, right, because I wasn't doing
- 35:54Speaker 3: five people's jobs well, you.
- 35:57Speaker 2: Know, five people's jobs well.
- 36:00Speaker 3: And not sustainable for sure. So when I you know,
- 36:03Speaker 3: when you come back and you're like, here's our options,
- 36:06Speaker 3: here's the best way to do it. Here's a reasonable,
- 36:07Speaker 3: sustainable way to move forward. It's good for the company,
- 36:11Speaker 3: it's good for your boss, it's good for your teammates.
- 36:13Speaker 2: Bottom line, it's good for the bottom line.
- 36:15Speaker 3: It's good for your spouse and a big mindset shift
- 36:18Speaker 3: is like going from I'm superwoman, I can do it
- 36:21Speaker 3: all to I'm a leader and it's my job to
- 36:26Speaker 3: empower the people in my life to align under my
- 36:29Speaker 3: vision and then help them to grow into being able
- 36:32Speaker 3: to do it. And I know part of exercay it's
- 36:34Speaker 3: a perfectionist. You don't want to let it go because
- 36:35Speaker 3: they can't do it as well as you. Got to
- 36:37Speaker 3: let that go. Got to let it go because no,
- 36:40Speaker 3: they're not going to do it the same way as you.
- 36:41Speaker 3: They're probably not going to do it as good as you.
- 36:43Speaker 3: It doesn't matter because you're empowering them when they're going
- 36:45Speaker 3: to grow because you are now a leader. And that
- 36:47Speaker 3: applies at work, it applies at home, applies in relationships,
- 36:49Speaker 3: it applies everywhere.
- 36:50Speaker 2: So what can we do?
- 36:51Speaker 1: Let's talk about really quick about how you work with
- 36:55Speaker 1: people and what do what your business is all about?
- 37:00Speaker 3: Absolutely so if any of this is resonating with you,
- 37:02Speaker 3: like if you're like, I'm definitely the people pleaser or
- 37:04Speaker 3: I'm definitely owned over achiever. If any of this landed
- 37:08Speaker 3: and you're like, what do I need to do to
- 37:10Speaker 3: stop the cycle. To break the cycle, you can reach
- 37:12Speaker 3: me at Serene success dot net. So that's a Serene
- 37:15Speaker 3: success dot net and there you can find the resources
- 37:17Speaker 3: that you need. You can grab uspot of my calendar
- 37:19Speaker 3: and we can go deep and figure out what are
- 37:22Speaker 3: the biggest challenges right now in your life and what
- 37:23Speaker 3: you should do next. And then as far as how
- 37:26Speaker 3: I help people, how what the what the structure looks like.
- 37:29Speaker 3: So I've got a it's a combination of group coaching,
- 37:31Speaker 3: so we have the community support and one on one coaching,
- 37:34Speaker 3: and it's set up as an initial three month program
- 37:37Speaker 3: and we go through those those five steps where we
- 37:39Speaker 3: pursue our yes, we energize our being, we assert our voice,
- 37:44Speaker 3: claimer surplus, and then elevate success. And then at the
- 37:47Speaker 3: end of that three months, there's an option to go
- 37:49Speaker 3: on and continue to have support at whatever level that
- 37:52Speaker 3: you want if you need that. That's much few That's
- 37:55Speaker 3: what we do. That's what we do.
- 37:56Speaker 2: It's really so much. That's it.
- 38:00Speaker 1: Well, she is beautiful to look at and she's beautiful
- 38:03Speaker 1: to listen to, and I just I'm so grateful for
- 38:07Speaker 1: this conversation. I hope that it resonated with Edny and
- 38:11Speaker 1: all of our listeners. If you were a man and
- 38:14Speaker 1: you are feeling like you need this conversation too, you
- 38:18Speaker 1: can reach out to us as well. You know, we're
- 38:19Speaker 1: not going to throw you guys out of the mix,
- 38:21Speaker 1: but women, yes, we are the queens of burnout. We
- 38:25Speaker 1: are the queens of taking on too much. We are
- 38:27Speaker 1: the queens of perfectionism. We want to do and love
- 38:31Speaker 1: and hold and conquer and succeed in every place that
- 38:34Speaker 1: we're ever in touch with.
- 38:37Speaker 2: And that is a burden.
- 38:38Speaker 1: And I am so grateful to have you here today, Hannah.
- 38:42Speaker 1: Thank you for your message to our guests and myself.
- 38:45Speaker 1: I needed to talk to you today as well, so
- 38:48Speaker 1: ended up being a.
- 38:49Speaker 2: Big win for everybody.
- 38:53Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you'd like to leave our
- 38:55Speaker 1: listeners before we hit the dusty trail here?
- 38:57Speaker 3: I think, just once again, you are the lynchpin of
- 38:59Speaker 3: your life. Investing in yourself will result in exponential growth
- 39:04Speaker 3: in your relationships and your impact in your career and
- 39:07Speaker 3: your business, so very important. You are not selfish. You
- 39:09Speaker 3: cannot be selfish.
- 39:10Speaker 1: I love that you cannot be selfish, because man, that
- 39:13Speaker 1: is what people pleasing feels like, is that I am
- 39:15Speaker 1: not that I'm never giving any You're wonderful.
- 39:20Speaker 2: Thank you for this message today. Thanks for being here, Hannah.
- 39:24Speaker 3: Well, thank you for having me such an honor.
- 39:27Speaker 1: You got it, babe, You are exclusively invited to share
- 39:30Speaker 1: this stay aligned with your authentic self VIP pain journey together.
- 39:36Speaker 1: Let's get to the heart of how to heal with you.
- 39:39Speaker 2: By my side. Please follow the Pain Game Podcast.
- 39:43Speaker 1: Wherever you digest your podcast content, we will be there,
- 39:47Speaker 1: including my sweet little Hannah. Visit us at the Pain
- 39:51Speaker 1: gamepodcast dot com and follow us on all the socials. Baby,
- 39:55Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, my little VIPs. Catch you on the
- 39:58Speaker 1: other side, people,