Latest / Reframe / Beyond the 60-Second Pitch: Authentic Connections & Dropping the Labels
Transcript
- 0:12SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Reframe, where honest conversations create new possibilities.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: We're Sarah and Danny, and each week we sit down together to explore life, growth, and everything in between.
- 0:24SPEAKER_01: Hello, Danny.
- 0:26SPEAKER_01: Hello.
- 0:27SPEAKER_01: Nice to see you.
- 0:28SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 0:29SPEAKER_01: And normal duty resumed, isn't it?
- 0:31SPEAKER_01: We're back to we've had a conversation.
- 0:34SPEAKER_01: What's live for us this week?
- 0:36SPEAKER_01: Let's press record.
- 0:38SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 0:38SPEAKER_00: And I I love that this is becoming a format, but that isn't a format as much.
- 0:45SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, this is what we do.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: We we don't have a list of all the topics that we're going to go through on the podcast.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: We have put some ideas aside in case one day we're kind of like completely without something.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: But we're just trusting that when we get together, we start to have a conversation that then we go, oh yeah, let's just press record on this.
- 1:07SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 1:08SPEAKER_00: And it usually comes from something that's happened to us during our week or in the last few days, doesn't it?
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 1:15SPEAKER_01: But to be fair to us, we switched it up for the last two episodes, but we're back.
- 1:19SPEAKER_01: And I love that you've brought this topic and we haven't prepared funny, I've just used that word, but we haven't prepared what we're going to say or what the answer is.
- 1:27SPEAKER_01: We just said let's see where we go and let's explore it.
- 1:30SPEAKER_01: But this is something that's been particularly on your mind, so I'll pass it over to you.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, it was just because I um I've been out and about doing some networking this week and being in and around female networking groups, which I really enjoy the sense of and the feeling of.
- 1:45SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I started attending these types of events about a year ago, and it's very nerve-wracking at first, but I've really found that they do bring a real sense of empowerment to me, and kind of hearing other women speak about what they do really lifts that kind of sense of possibility within me, and I love that.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: I love that, and what I find is is that I really enjoy those conversations with with other women, hearing about what they do, sharing with them what I do.
- 2:17SPEAKER_00: But some of these events have this format where you do a pitch, and that bit absolutely terrifies me.
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: And I went to one this week where that was part of the format, and you just got one minute, and they were very kind of like, it's just one minute, that's all you've got.
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: And um, I was terrified, I really was terrified.
- 2:40SPEAKER_00: I feel really confident now to talk about what it is that I do.
- 2:44SPEAKER_00: I absolutely am passionate about human design and helping women explore their energetic alignment, and you know, I really, really feel that that's something that I've kind of got really good at when I'm in conversation, but the pitch thing, oh my goodness, and so I had kind of prepared something beforehand and had it on my phone and was thinking about trying to prepare, like read it, or whether I should read it or shouldn't read it, or trying to practice it, you know, that thing.
- 3:13SPEAKER_00: And in the end, I did read it.
- 3:15SPEAKER_00: Um, because the lady that had been doing the talk during the session also had her iPad and was using it as a reference point throughout, and I was like really um calmed by that and thought, you know, it's okay, it's alright to read it, and um, so I did.
- 3:36SPEAKER_00: But there's lots of things that we've talked about about that, isn't it?
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: Um, so the first thing that we were just saying is as a manifesting generator, and because in my human design, I don't have my throat connected to my mind, there's often a if I once I start talking, you don't always know exactly what's going to come out of my mouth, and that also it's not always as in it's not always concise.
- 4:03SPEAKER_00: There might be a little bit of meandering around if I'm telling a story, and when you're expected to just put everything in that you need to say in a minute, then if you're expecting me to be concise, then I might need notes, but then there's that terrifying part of it, which is about the fact that it's not just having a conversation, but you're having to perform, and the performative part of it to me is that scary part of it.
- 4:32SPEAKER_00: Um, but we can all we can all do this, but it's it's just slightly more terrifying.
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if you have any experiences of this or anything that you'd like to bring in on this particular subject.
- 4:46SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's really interesting to hear you say like terrified because of everything that you just said.
- 4:50SPEAKER_01: I know you're so passionate, I know you talk about you know what you do and your passions day in, day out, and it just pours out of you.
- 4:56SPEAKER_01: So it's really interesting to hear you say like terrified as well.
- 5:00SPEAKER_01: And like you does come down to the performative part of it and also the conciseness of 60 seconds.
- 5:07SPEAKER_01: I think you perfectly said before a comment of both of us if you expect us to answer in a minute, you know, we're not gonna get there because we both just go off, don't we?
- 5:16SPEAKER_01: But yeah, and I I was agreeing with you.
- 5:18SPEAKER_01: I think the 60 second pitches, I've been to quite a lot of networkings which have the 60 second pitch format, and it's it's never been comfortable.
- 5:28SPEAKER_01: It's something that I think I've got more familiar with because I was going to more and they were all having the same format of the the 60 second pitch, but every single time there was still that like nerves or that anxious feeling, or um oh, this doesn't feel comfortable.
- 5:45SPEAKER_01: And I was saying to you one time, naturally, I just joined a meeting and people were doing introductions, and I sat down a bit late, and they just said, Over to you, like you may as well introduce yourself as you just sit down.
- 5:57SPEAKER_01: And no pitch planned, no pitch planned, is that right?
- 6:01SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, it all just came out and I said that was the best pitch that I'd done because it was just organic and it was just oh, this is what I do, and this is what I'm interested in, and and since that day, I've not been able to get that pitch back or remember what I said, or for it to feel as natural as that.
- 6:20SPEAKER_01: And so again, I think there's really something in that, like you said, the performative part, because I didn't have the chance to think about it, to plan it, to perform.
- 6:28SPEAKER_01: I literally was just hi, this is me, this is what I do, this is what I'm interested in.
- 6:32SPEAKER_01: And so there is something in that pressure to perform.
- 6:35SPEAKER_01: And I think what we were talking about as well is and I can relate to this in uni, where there's there's always a lecture where you have to put together a presentation and then you have to present that presentation, and it is, you know, don't look at the presentation and don't read off notes.
- 6:51SPEAKER_01: And I guess I'm just like I don't understand why that's needed.
- 6:55SPEAKER_01: I know there's some skills in that, but what what are we saying then if you can't use your notes or you can't refer to something?
- 7:03SPEAKER_01: And I think that's probably what you've said.
- 7:05SPEAKER_01: We feel like we have to per like perfect this pitch and say it without notes, but why?
- 7:11SPEAKER_01: Yeah, why?
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like I say, I was really grateful to um the woman who'd been giving the the talk for using her like her iPad as a as a prompt for her because it it kind of gave me permission to do the same.
- 7:27SPEAKER_00: But do I need to to get permission to do something that actually makes the task easier for me?
- 7:33SPEAKER_00: You know, that's that kind of like sense of is it good enough if I can do this without it?
- 7:39SPEAKER_00: And it and and I've that that can not concerns me, but I kind of like I'm interested in that in that kind of like the psychology of that for ourselves, like needing to look like we have it all together and all figured out.
- 7:53SPEAKER_00: And I'm I've had exactly the same experiences on my own uni course where we are expected to have a presentation which comes across as conversational on subjects that we're learning that are really complicated, and that actually, as I've just been saying, not everybody is designed, not everybody is actually meant to be able to speak exactly what's on their mind in that moment.
- 8:21SPEAKER_00: That there's different ways of delivering information through your human design and how you're supposed to communicate, and that that because we're all so unique, using that as a way of trying to understand whether somebody has made sense of a topic kind of is unfair, in my opinion.
- 8:42SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that expecting that you get marked on how well you deliver that, I just don't think that that that has, yeah, I actually feel that that's that's that's unfair because there are people who will find that easy and there will be people that don't.
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: I don't know what the answer is.
- 9:00SPEAKER_00: I think in the in the in the 60-minute pitch world, it's just to say, well, I'm gonna read mine because that makes me makes it easier for me and not even worry about what that kind of like looks like.
- 9:11SPEAKER_00: And and then the other part of me actually that was just thinking about when you were talking then was I wonder whether kind of saying out loud what it is we do and what it is that we who what we what it is that we do and what I like what our title is, you know, is there is there something in that because I also feel like I'm always evolving.
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: And so when I stand up in public and declare this is me, like is there something around the fact that like oh I've got to be that now and I've got to stick to that and I've got to kind of I don't I don't know again, I don't have the answers for this, but I actually did message um somebody that done a really lovely testimonial for me and ask her, Well, what if I'm gonna put this on a you know, put this out there in the world, do you know what you what's your job title?
- 10:08SPEAKER_00: And she was like, I don't know.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: And she's a really successful coach, and she found it difficult to identify the label that she kind of sees her back herself by.
- 10:20SPEAKER_00: And I actually think there's a lot in the fact that we're really starting to recognize that labels don't really help us all the time, and actually, just I there's something in the energy of that that I think when you make a 60-minute pitch and you declare yourself to the world in that way, that that's a little bit terrifying as well.
- 10:42SPEAKER_00: That you're saying, This is me, yeah, that's it.
- 10:46SPEAKER_00: That's just all there is to me.
- 10:47SPEAKER_00: I'm this, I'm this label.
- 10:49SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're all so much more than that, which is why conversation is so great, because you can be the fullness of you in a conversation, yeah.
- 11:00SPEAKER_01: I totally agree, and so based on what you've just said, to then condense that into 60 seconds, you're not getting any of that.
- 11:07SPEAKER_01: And I think I that's something that I have struggled with as well.
- 11:10SPEAKER_01: And I definitely relate to the title.
- 11:13SPEAKER_01: So when I was um focusing more on visibility and mindset coaching, I really struggled with what to put in my bio, the title to put in my bio.
- 11:23SPEAKER_01: Is it mindset coach?
- 11:24SPEAKER_01: Is it coach?
- 11:24SPEAKER_01: Is it this?
- 11:25SPEAKER_01: Is it this?
- 11:25SPEAKER_01: Is it this?
- 11:26SPEAKER_01: And I really overthought it.
- 11:27SPEAKER_01: And I was working with a coach at the time, and it was consistently like, nothing feels right.
- 11:32SPEAKER_01: I it it just it yeah, it just didn't feel right.
- 11:37SPEAKER_01: And I was like, what is as though there was a right answer?
- 11:39SPEAKER_01: And I remember having a conversation with someone who I actually spoke with this week who said, Oh, well, sometimes I call myself this, and sometimes I call myself this, and and that was a real reflection of like, oh wow, that seems fluid, and they have like topics and they just change kind of the title of whatever they're doing, but for me, it was this really like have to get this title right, and so yeah, it's really interesting to hear your reflection of that, which is rubbish, isn't it?
- 12:06SPEAKER_01: And I actually did a talk the other day on this where I introduced myself and I was deliberately not going to say I am a therapist, yeah.
- 12:15SPEAKER_01: And then as it came out of my mouth, I pretty much said that and I was like, right, I'm gonna correct myself, yeah.
- 12:21SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'll explain why later.
- 12:23SPEAKER_01: And part of the talk was which is different in networking because you are connected with hi, this is my job title, but there's something in that hi, I'm Danny, I'm a person-centered therapist, like my identity has been wrapped up in in therapy for years, and something I've decided recently is I don't want to, I don't want to introduce myself in that way because, like you've just said, there's so much more to me than my job title, but even I wasn't seeing that.
- 12:47SPEAKER_01: I was like, Oh, I'm Danny, I'm a I'm a therapist, and again, in networking, you are probably going to do that, but I'm really challenging myself, and it's hard.
- 12:55SPEAKER_01: Like I stood up in that talk and said, Hi, I'm Danny, I'm oh no, I work as a therapist, and so it's difficult because those are the words that we choose, but uh yeah, we are so much fuller as people that's so much more to us, and it's so restricting that 60 seconds, or what to put in your bio when you've only got however many characters, yes, yeah, and that that that whole thing of like then that that's what people decide on, you know, that's the thing, isn't it?
- 13:26SPEAKER_00: And I I'm not suggesting that I know what the answer is to this, but I do feel that there is yeah, and I like the kind of the conversation because a conversation like we're having now is when you are responding to somebody and offering a reflection on what it is that they've maybe shared with you so that you then respond with something that fits what they're talking about, not because you're trying to fit to them, but because that's you know, that's how you you're kind of you're in relation with them, you're creating a relationship, and in that relationship you create an understanding of maybe what they do, what you do, how that what how you what you do helps them, how what they do helps you, or you're just interested, you know, like you just want to hear what it is that's going on for them, and it's just a fuller understanding, isn't it, of what that person brings to the world in in the conversation as opposed to the one-minute pitch.
- 14:28SPEAKER_00: I don't know how we kind of move beyond necessarily that kind of well, or whether that's a necessary part, I suppose, is that whole thing um of networking, or whether it whether it is or it isn't, whether there's something new, whether there's a way of evolving that.
- 14:46SPEAKER_00: I definitely feel I get more from the conversations than I do from the pitches, but I suppose it's always interesting to know who's in the room and whether there's people that you want to speak to.
- 14:56SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I I definitely like the conversational part of the networking over the the pitching part with without a doubt.
- 15:09SPEAKER_01: It's really interesting.
- 15:10SPEAKER_01: I kind of sat just really thinking about everything that we were talking about, and I really agree with what you've just said.
- 15:17SPEAKER_01: I mean you can do 60-second pitches, and when you start to speak to people, often the 60-second pitch, it's not that it doesn't fit, but it's just so not reflective of maybe the person that they are or really what they do, and that's maybe because you know, we're kind of talking about a like a perfect pitch would encompass all of that, but how can you?
- 15:38SPEAKER_01: And especially the work I think that we do and you do, you've got so many different things from like experience and skills that you've gained that you bring into your work, you can't list all of that and talk about it in 60 seconds.
- 15:52SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think and the other thing I'm thinking about is when we describe other people, and I'd I'd like to hear your thought on this.
- 16:01SPEAKER_01: I don't say this title or this title, because to be honest, I don't really know.
- 16:06SPEAKER_01: No, I'm thinking of like, how well would what would I say about Sarah?
- 16:11SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure what exactly your title is, but I'm like, oh, she's Sarah, she's great, she does she does this and she's interested in this, and I'd start to talk about what I know and kind of how I perceive you and all the skills that you have of like, oh, go see her for this, or she does these things, yeah.
- 16:30SPEAKER_00: Or she's helped me with this.
- 16:31SPEAKER_00: I think you know, yeah, yeah.
- 16:33SPEAKER_00: And I what I'm actually picking up on there, actually, is is it's all to do with human design, is is that and the way that we're moving, and I think this is why we're identifying something that feels old, which is this labelling and boxing, because actually, where we're all going, we're kind of sensing and feeling whether people are a match for us or not, whether somebody has got something we need or not, it all comes down to a sense of that person is a good person, a good fit for me, and what I sense that what they have is something I need.
- 17:09SPEAKER_00: And that's not in a kind of like um a ticking the boxes of I need this, you've got that.
- 17:15SPEAKER_00: It's just like there's something in the way that the it's the chemistry, it's like that it's that energetic chemistry of why you might choose somebody over somebody else that has a same job, like just like an example would be like an interior designer, you know, like you you why would you choose?
- 17:33SPEAKER_00: You've got all these different interior designs, of course, that's their aesthetics and things like that, but you just might meet them, and then there's just a warmth or something in one of them that you don't get from somebody else, and that because that is because that is the interior designer that you're supposed to work with because you feel that connection with them, so it's remembering, I think, that that's more people that people are saying people buy off people, you know, that's the thing, isn't it?
- 18:03SPEAKER_00: But I think it it goes beyond that, it goes beyond the fact that into the fact that we are at this point where those old ways of doing things, so this is the human design, knowing that we're moving into a new earth frequency in 2027.
- 18:19SPEAKER_00: We've come through this 400 years of being in the cross of planning, which is all about structures, frameworks that hold society and ourselves in place as as we are.
- 18:33SPEAKER_00: We we kind of hold ourselves within the frameworks, and actually, what we're going to start moving towards is where the individual matters more, and it's what the individual will bring to the collective, to the whole.
- 18:46SPEAKER_00: So we will see that somebody has something that we don't have, and that's a way that we that we'll kind of understand how we fit together, and that everybody is different, everybody has different gifts, everybody has different things that they're good at, and that's important to recognise because in we when we see each other as individuals, we then know our own unique gifts are important, and that we all have a place within the tapestry of life instead of us trying to be the same or trying to fit into a box so people understand us, and that's this the box, the label is a box, isn't it?
- 19:22SPEAKER_00: And what we're actually saying is that we're all so much more than a label or a box, and it's not just down to job titles.
- 19:30SPEAKER_00: Having this conversation yesterday, it's about having something like a diagnosis of something, or a you know, a like a I don't know, you ADHD menopause.
- 19:43SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with saying that these are the things that you're challenged by or you're dealing with, or that is part of who you are, but don't let them box you in, let them be something that you use as information for you to grow from.
- 19:56SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 19:57SPEAKER_00: And I think that's that's the important thing to remember, and that's why, just coming back round, why it feels so uncomfortable to just say you're this and then that that be it.
- 20:10SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because uh what I'm thinking now is when I said before, oh, I wouldn't say Sarah job title, is because the kind of least interesting thing about you is a job title, the most interesting thing is who you are and what you do, but it's true, isn't it?
- 20:23SPEAKER_01: Like it feels like I was like, Oh, Sarah is this job title.
- 20:26SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, that's boring.
- 20:28SPEAKER_01: That doesn't describe who you are.
- 20:30SPEAKER_01: Not boring, but like, you know, there's so much more to you that that I would want to say, and how much more I'm interested in you as a person, and so I really hear what you've just said that actually it's about the person and the individual.
- 20:43SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, like that's just something like I trust so much because I I trust that you know, you you and I am doing this, and we we talk about this throughout the the podcast um since we started, but you know, it's just it we we know we're a good fit for whatever for conversation, then that's it, and we're trusting that because that fit feels so great, we don't have to label it as something, we don't have to know exactly where it's going, we're just here to bring the honest conversations, which uh hopefully we've we've just done, yeah.
- 21:16SPEAKER_01: And the other thing I was thinking about, we kind of touched on before of comparison, and I'd said someone had done a talk before me without notes, and it made me go, Oh, well, I should do it then, or I need to do it.
- 21:30SPEAKER_01: And we talked what you mentioned there about like well, that's comparison to other people, and I was wondering how that fits into what you've just said now, but actually you answered it in the way that we fit, we're we're different, we share, I think, a lot of values and opinions.
- 21:46SPEAKER_01: And I think we're similar in a lot of ways, but we're also different in other ways and individual.
- 21:51SPEAKER_01: And so as you described it then, I can see that it's not about paras comparison, me needing to be like you or vice versa.
- 21:57SPEAKER_01: We fit together because we're different.
- 22:00SPEAKER_01: And literally or charts align perfectly.
- 22:02SPEAKER_01: And the way that we're different, they fit together.
- 22:04SPEAKER_01: And I guess that's the difference of not having to compare or feel like I need something from you or you need something from me.
- 22:11SPEAKER_01: It's actually we fit together and this is what we create together.
- 22:14SPEAKER_01: And how beautiful is that?
- 22:15SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
- 22:16SPEAKER_00: And that just brings us around to that whole thing about kind of like being in a room with other women and networking and being in conversation and how that makes us feel more whole.
- 22:26SPEAKER_00: Because like a conversation where we understand that we fit together makes us feel in ourselves more complete and whole.
- 22:33SPEAKER_00: Not because we need the other person, but it just gives us a sense of belonging.
- 22:39SPEAKER_00: And actually, that's a really beautiful thing that can come from those spaces, is that sense of belonging, not with the not just within the group, but that you have you find something within yourself that makes you feel like you belong a little bit more with yourself and what you're doing and and the place that you're the space that you're taking up.
- 22:58SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I've seen like net like jigsaw pieces, like us fitting together like a warm hug.
- 23:04SPEAKER_01: And I guess networking can do that.
- 23:06SPEAKER_01: You can create your puzzle piece with all the different yeah, you can create your puzzle with all the different puzzle pieces, being different people and what they have to offer and that real like unity.
- 23:17SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sometimes I think networking can feel really transactional and not the feeling that I've just experienced as we talked about that then.
- 23:25SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 23:26SPEAKER_00: So I think it's to remember that when you go into those spaces to just enjoy the conversations, not try to perform, not feel you have to perform, and to just do it your way.
- 23:37SPEAKER_00: If you need to read that one minute pitch, then read.
- 23:41SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 23:42unknown: Yeah.
- 23:43SPEAKER_00: And if you want to just say whatever comes out of your mouth and see what's going to be said, then just let that be as well, because you've just talked about how that was a really brilliant experience for you.
- 23:52SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 23:53SPEAKER_00: And to just trust that you you as you are is more than enough, and that you'll kind of you'll find the people and have the conversations that you need to to do, you need to have.
- 24:06SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 24:06SPEAKER_01: And so that to finish on the reframe, the reframe for me as we're talking about this is I've always felt the six 60 second pitches, I do this, this is who I help, you know, the format that people kind of tell you to structure it, and that feels very um restrictive and not fun for me.
- 24:25SPEAKER_01: Actually, as we're speaking, if I just went in and went, this is what I'm working on at the moment, or this is what I'm doing, or this is what I'm focused on, because we do change or work and we change how we are, and we just change and evolve all the time.
- 24:38SPEAKER_01: So, actually, for me, the reframe is to go in and just talk about this is where I'm at right now, without the structure of the right title and who I help.
- 24:47SPEAKER_01: So that's my reframe, and I'm gonna challenge myself to do that in in future networkings.
- 24:52SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, I love that.
- 24:53SPEAKER_00: And I think that I'm gonna be excitedly waiting to hear how that works for you.
- 24:58SPEAKER_00: And at the moment, I'm just gonna let myself, if I want to read it, I'm gonna read it, and if I need to change it, I'm gonna change it and let it evolve and um and be absolutely okay with that.
- 25:09SPEAKER_00: Um, and just keep enjoying the conversations in between.
- 25:13SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, fantastic.
- 25:16SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for bringing up the topic.
- 25:18SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely beautiful.
- 25:20SPEAKER_00: I love the way the conversation evolved.
- 25:22SPEAKER_00: We start with a seed and then it went into lots of different things as well.
- 25:26SPEAKER_00: So thank you again, Danielle, for inspiring that kind of like those sparks that take the conversation.
- 25:33SPEAKER_00: Um, we always have them, and um, I know that's part of our jigsaw pieces coming together.
- 25:38SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that's why we jump on and go, let's just see where we get to.
- 25:41SPEAKER_01: And we're ending what feels like a huge warm hug for me and feeling part of something amazing.
- 25:48SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
- 25:49SPEAKER_00: All right, so I will see you again soon.
- 25:52SPEAKER_00: Take care.
- 25:53SPEAKER_00: Bye everyone.
- 25:54SPEAKER_00: Bye.