Latest / Questionable Detour / Threatening people in a bathroom, an electric grandmother, and talking to a guy about his amputated leg.

Transcript

Threatening people in a bathroom, an electric grandmother, and talking to a guy about his amputated leg. · Questionable Detour

• 0:00
  Excuse me, what is going on here?
• 0:04
  But first we're gonna make a little detour.
• 0:09
  So absurd, so questionable.
• 0:12
  I guess we're just the weirdos.
• 0:15
  Expect the detour.
• 0:25
  So I was in Walmart the other day, I was getting a foot long sub sandwich in
• 0:28
  there, you know you get Walmart and they have like six dollar foot long sub
• 0:31
  sandwiches, cold sub sandwiches.
• 0:33
  This is not at the Subway in Walmart.
• 0:35
  No, no, not at the Subway in Walmart.
• 0:37
  I realize those are two different entities.
• 0:39
  And they often have Subways in Walmart.
• 0:43
  Yeah, that's what I'm saying, I realize those are two different entities.
• 0:45
  There's like a sandwich section, they have different sandwiches kind of wrapped up in boxes.
• 0:49
  Well they have subs and they're like five, six dollars, well multiple times a week,
• 0:52
  that's what I'll do for lunch, I'll just go grab a sub and I did it, I did the same thing
• 0:57
  this past Monday or Tuesday and you know I'm an athletic guy so what I do when I pick up the sub,
• 1:02
  I'm flipping it, you know I'm flipping the sub, I'm turning it around while I'm waiting in line,
• 1:06
  you know I'm just having a good time trying to show off to the other patrons of Walmart.
• 1:09
  Well you know I'm not perfect and I dropped the sub.
• 1:12
  The issue was when I dropped it, it fell into the basket of one of those scooters.
• 1:16
  It was an old, it was an old black lady and she was in the middle of checking out and it
• 1:20
  fell into her basket on the front of her scooter and I was faced with a dilemma.
• 1:25
  Do I leave it or do I start rummaging around this poor lady's basket while everybody looks at me
• 1:33
  grabbing things from this lady's basket? She doesn't know, she's kind of facing the other way.
• 1:37
  I left it, that's what I eventually decided on was I just, she's gonna be like where did this
• 1:43
  sub sandwich come from? I would have loved to have been the guy watching you do that and watching the
• 1:49
  wheels turn in your head. It was, it was like a deer just pouring out of your ears. It was a deer
• 1:54
  in the headlight situation where I flipped it, it bounced off my hand weird because I didn't catch it
• 1:59
  and it just fell perfectly right in this and I just had to sit there and look at it. The cogs
• 2:03
  were moving, I didn't know what to do and like looking around and seeing who I saw. Yeah I was
• 2:08
  just like, because I was like I could grab it you know there's that split second but then I was like
• 2:13
  she's gonna turn around thinking I'm just stealing her her 12 packs of cokes and all her beanie
• 2:17
  weenies and stuff so I just I left it there and I went back and grabbed another one and that's the
• 2:22
  one I bought. So who knows if she checked out with it or not. Should you, and this is just off the
• 2:28
  cuff here, should you stop treating your sandwiches like a tech deck skateboard?
• 2:34
  I think there's more to life than that Alan. I think you just need to capture the happy little
• 2:39
  moments. Okay okay. And me flipping a sub around you know pleasing the audience. Sure sure. I
• 2:45
  consider everybody in Walmart an audience. I hope she enjoyed it, I hope she like got home and was
• 2:49
  looking through her sacks and she's like did I black out for a second? Like where did I grab this
• 2:55
  from? This is also a great time to mention that we support ADHD awareness. If you need a fidget spinner.
• 3:03
  Yes if you need a poppet please. We also support flipping sandwiches like it's very it's very fun
• 3:10
  they're compact they're wrapped well very aerodynamic. It's not a QD statement. That's
• 3:15
  not that's a exact statement. The whole table doesn't quite agree with the flipping of the
• 3:20
  sandwiches. And I think we could start a game where you go to Walmart and buy a sandwich and
• 3:24
  you just start tossing sandwiches into people's baskets as if it's a basketball game. You just
• 3:29
  find an old lady's or it's just a bunch of trick shots. Yeah you just do fun things with sandwiches.
• 3:34
  You bounce it off a wall and see if you can land it in some old lady's buggy as she walks by. As long
• 3:39
  as someone's paying for it at the end of the day. I don't care if they pay for it I don't know I
• 3:42
  don't care if she paid for it or not. Put your arms inside your sleeves and have just two sandwiches
• 3:46
  sticking out. I honestly whenever you were first talking about I thought you were in the checkout
• 3:51
  line when this happened. She already put all her stuff out there and she checked out and then she
• 3:54
  was gonna roll out the door with it. Which would have been funnier. And then you would have been
• 3:58
  like that lady's stealing sandwiches. I turned her in. Yeah she's like I didn't even buy a sandwich
• 4:04
  and they look through her bag and they pull out a sandwich and she's like I don't know I don't know
• 4:08
  where that came from. There's actually framing women out here. Yeah that was my week. I lost the
• 4:14
  sandwich. I think about it often. But you also got a replacement moments later. I did but I mean it's
• 4:19
  kind of you know sure. You'd already bonded with that sandwich. Sure but like you I emotionally
• 4:24
  connected to the original sandwich. You know there are people out there that date and break up and
• 4:28
  they get married and they always look back on the first one and go that was the I dropped the ball.
• 4:34
  The one that got away. The one that got away and that was the sandwich for her. That was the one
• 4:38
  that got away. It just didn't flip the same. Was it an identical sandwich to the first one? Yeah it
• 4:44
  was just a roast beef and cheddar cheese footlong sandwich. So you got a type. Yeah I mean they're
• 4:50
  a dime a dozen. Yeah I emotionally connected with it and you know I did the whole like dramatic
• 4:55
  thing where I put my hand on the window as it leaves with that lady. I think if you would quit
• 5:00
  drawing faces on your sandwiches you would name them emotionally less with them. I should stop
• 5:05
  naming them right? Don't name them. Don't get attached. Don't buy googly eyes and glue them on
• 5:10
  there. There's always more six inch subs in the refrigerator. I go 12 inch. I'm a man. I'll bet
• 5:17
  you do. That was my situation. We had another birthday this week. That we did. Who? Well mine
• 5:25
  was a month ago. That was an owl. This was a couple weeks ago. That leaves one person.
• 5:30
  And what'd you do for your birthday? Yeah I mean it was my birthday this past week. You're right.
• 5:38
  I'm glad you asked. I'm glad this came up because I love talking about myself and my birthday. It's
• 5:42
  only fair. Yeah so what I did was I needed some a little excitement. You know birthdays should be
• 5:48
  celebrated. What I did was I strapped myself to the grill of a semi truck and I just kind of
• 5:54
  rode it around. It was like I found a giant baby carrier that you see moms carry their babies on
• 5:59
  their chest. You know what I'm talking about? You know it's a you know pink color has like a little
• 6:03
  cartoon elephant. Well I strapped myself into an adult version of that. Stuck myself on the grill
• 6:08
  of an 18 wheeler and just hauled around the United States with a burly man with a beard. You couldn't
• 6:13
  just sat in the cab? Nah. It was like there's no room? No you don't experience the road when you're
• 6:18
  sitting in the cab. You're experiencing the guy that smells like beef and cheddar cheese. He smells
• 6:23
  like my footlong sandwiches I get from Walmart. I don't want to smell that. I want to take a bug to
• 6:28
  the face. So are your feet dangling like a little kid or are you like your feet are on the ground?
• 6:33
  I have stirrups like a horse. I was wondering if you tried to keep up and run. Like you were powering
• 6:38
  that thing. Yeah like a Flintstone. Yeah it's like a Flintstone thing. The front of my shoes are worn out.
• 6:44
  Okay so you had stirrups. Okay yeah I had stirrups that keeps my feet up keeps it uh lets me be able
• 6:49
  to relax and enjoy the moment. I have Life is a Highway by Rascal Flat playing in my ear the whole
• 6:55
  time so it's a 12 hour trip. How many times can Rascal Flat's Life is a Highway be played in 12
• 7:00
  hours? A lot. It's a lot. Legally I don't think it should be. For one sanity there is a limit but
• 7:07
  160. So I 160 times. You could listen to it 160 times. So on the 12 hour trip that we took across
• 7:13
  me and me and uh old Cornwallis the truck driver I listened to that 160 times so it was a good
• 7:22
  trip. That's how I celebrate my birthday. I had a little birthday hat on. Where'd you find a baby
• 7:26
  carrier that can carry a grown man? Cornwallis had it. I didn't ask questions. He had a lot of
• 7:32
  leather in the back of his vehicle too. Now I understand why there were stirrups involved.
• 7:39
  I think we may need to do a slight investigation into Cornwallis. He says he walked with a gimp
• 7:44
  but I didn't see him limp at all. I don't know what he meant by that. I realize it's not for
• 7:49
  everybody to celebrate their birthday like that but it's the only way I celebrate my birthday.
• 7:53
  Well I'm glad you got to celebrate it with Corny. That sounds uh sounds sounds fun.
• 7:59
  Welcome to Questionable Detour. Let's do some hypotheticals. Dave can I pose a somewhat abstract
• 8:04
  purely hypothetical question? I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
• 8:10
  Well that's a hypothetical question. So this week we got a quick little email from
• 8:17
  one John Dro. It reads like this. Dear Detourists, I was just scrolling through memes on my phone
• 8:24
  while on the porcelain throne at work reading them aloud in my best quote terrible Yoda voice
• 8:30
  for my own amusement. Someone else entered the bathroom part way through a meme and I'm certain
• 8:34
  they heard me. Not only that but I am wearing partially identifiable shoes today. How do I
• 8:39
  one prevent them from recognizing me and two dissuade slash prevent them from spreading the
• 8:45
  word about my bizarre bathroom buffoonery? Please hurry there isn't much time. Sincerely John Dro.
• 8:51
  He also says PS how can we Saturday workers slash listeners support this podcast financially?
• 8:57
  While your humor sometimes gets a little dark for me. Okay. Overall I think you guys are absolutely
• 9:01
  brilliant and have astounding array of truly good segments for such a new podcast. I'd love to
• 9:06
  support y'all directly through something like a Patreon, merch or otherwise and I'm sure there are
• 9:11
  plenty of others who feel the same way. Keep up the great work. John Dro I'm sorry that we're too
• 9:15
  dark for you maybe it's because we record the podcast with no lights on. I think is that was
• 9:21
  that what he means by we're too dark? Probably. The humor is too dark. John Dro we'll light a candle
• 9:25
  for you. Yeah. Like it's a memorial service for John Dro. But as far as the Patreon and the merch
• 9:32
  and stuff goes we are a new podcast so while we have built a nice little listener base we're not
• 9:38
  at all a big podcast so we don't have anything set up right now. That doesn't mean we will take your
• 9:43
  money in the future. We will take every bit of your money. We're coming for each and every one.
• 9:48
  Yeah. Whether that be you giving us it through Patreon or us breaking into your house with guns.
• 9:55
  We're taking your money. Send us your addresses.
• 9:58
  Let's get those socials and bank account numbers coming in.
• 10:02
  But as far as Patreon and that stuff goes, don't have it yet. As far as merch goes,
• 10:07
  as we grow maybe that's something we can do. The biggest thing you can do to help us is tell your
• 10:12
  friends. Tell them this is the greatest podcast you have ever heard. You have grown as a person.
• 10:16
  Tell them that and get them to listen and it grows and then we can start doing stuff.
• 10:21
  Don't let them read the description where it says you will not grow as a person.
• 10:24
  Yeah. That might be a little bit misleading to your friends.
• 10:28
  Get your illiterate friends. Get the friends that don't read. We probably do better with them anyway.
• 10:33
  Look for the audio book crowd. But anyway, Jondro, you were doing Yoda impressions in the bathroom
• 10:42
  reading memes. What do y'all do in the bathroom? Do y'all do anything weird in the bathroom?
• 10:47
  I am on my phone. You're on your phone?
• 10:49
  Yeah. Are you doing voices and-
• 10:51
  See, that's where it stops though. I'm not doing voices in the bathroom.
• 10:54
  I mean, maybe if you're doing your own personal bathroom, but a public restroom? Man, that's
• 10:58
  confident. That's crossing a line, I think.
• 11:00
  I appreciate that. I still feel like it's weird if you do it in your private bathroom though.
• 11:02
  Just think about sitting there, door closed, you're there by yourself talking in a weird voice.
• 11:07
  The door is closed in this story?
• 11:09
  Yeah.
• 11:09
  Okay. I'm just-
• 11:10
  Because the bathroom-
• 11:10
  It could be open.
• 11:11
  The bathroom in your house doesn't have a door at all.
• 11:13
  Well, no, we took it down for privacy reasons.
• 11:16
  You were too private?
• 11:18
  It was too much. Meanwhile, we just didn't feel like we could connect enough.
• 11:21
  Yeah, sure.
• 11:22
  When people came over, we were like, I just don't feel like they sit in the bathroom for
• 11:26
  hours on end. We want to get to know people when they come over.
• 11:29
  And when you go to the bathroom, you don't want to be left out of the conversation.
• 11:33
  Exactly.
• 11:33
  You want that door to be open so you can still participate.
• 11:35
  Yeah. In case anyone wants to do memes and stuff in the bathroom too, I can hear their
• 11:40
  memes in their Yoda voices or Mickey Mouse voices, whatever they're into at the time.
• 11:44
  There's nothing better than helps being relatable to being vulnerable.
• 11:47
  Exactly.
• 11:47
  And having the door open while you take a dump. So vulnerable.
• 11:50
  So vulnerable, but so intimate.
• 11:52
  But just hypothetically, y'all do something weird in the bathroom, right? Whatever that be.
• 11:57
  How do y'all kind of smooth out the social situation with your coworkers? If they saw that,
• 12:03
  how do you make it less awkward for you as you enter back into the office after they saw you
• 12:07
  do that very weird thing in the bathroom?
• 12:09
  Well, when I'm taking the browns to the Super Bowl, if you will.
• 12:12
  Absolutely.
• 12:12
  I like to let out a big lion roar. No other time in your life where you feel like such a...
• 12:18
  You can do anything.
• 12:19
  Yeah. Yeah. So much power.
• 12:20
  You've never felt more alive in your life. And who's the king of the jungle?
• 12:23
  A lion.
• 12:24
  A lion. Exactly. So in that moment, you feel like a king. You feel like you're on top of the world.
• 12:29
  You let out a lion roar, let everybody else know.
• 12:31
  No.
• 12:31
  Are you in a lion costume when this happens? Like some people will be weird and like take...
• 12:35
  Are you doing an off-Broadway production of cats?
• 12:38
  I imagine you look like the lion from the 1930s Wizard of Oz.
• 12:42
  Yeah. No, I do go into full makeup and costume anytime I go into a public restroom.
• 12:47
  Yeah.
• 12:47
  It's just a, it's a full production, but I think it adds value to, you know, how you're feeling and
• 12:52
  how you can really just take yourself to the next level.
• 12:55
  It's really me time when you go to the bathroom. You really, it's a lot of meditation, a lot of
• 13:00
  roaring. Yeah. A lot of roaring, a lot of loud noises, a lot of animal noises. And I'm not lying
• 13:07
  about that. Oh, there it is. There it is. Do you all, do you do a lot of lion puns and then laugh
• 13:12
  at yourself while you're in the bathroom? I tried to. I tried to.
• 13:14
  Like you're having a roaring good time.
• 13:17
  It sounds like a positively good time, you know?
• 13:20
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.
• 13:21
  We should all, we should all go into a public restroom and just sit by each other while we're
• 13:24
  taking, taking dumps and just give puns to each other the whole time.
• 13:27
  Main man.
• 13:30
  That's a good one. You're really prideful about it.
• 13:32
  Oh, there we go. Yeah.
• 13:34
  Anyway, that, uh, it's kind of what I do. And of course, if somebody hears that.
• 13:38
  Cause somebody will, somebody will.
• 13:39
  It's very loud.
• 13:40
  Yeah. If there's a line outside, they'll hear it.
• 13:42
  Yeah.
• 13:42
  But.
• 13:42
  It sounds like there's a line inside.
• 13:46
  If somebody does hear that and they want to go make fun of me or tell somebody, you know,
• 13:50
  of course I'm going to chase them down.
• 13:51
  Oh, you are a lion. That makes sense.
• 13:53
  Yeah. I'm going to chase them down, but I'm not going to physically attack them,
• 13:56
  but I will emotionally. And I'll say, Hey bud, you thought you wanted to tell people about that?
• 14:01
  Well, you don't because your car is still in one piece right now, isn't it?
• 14:04
  Oh, so you, you confront them like as, as if you're a mob member, like you're part of the mafia.
• 14:10
  Yeah.
• 14:10
  Kind of silencing a witness.
• 14:12
  Yeah. I say you like all those fingers on your hand.
• 14:15
  Your knees are intact right now.
• 14:17
  Cause they could not be. Um.
• 14:19
  Do you wear a fedora, like a, like a 1930s fedora when you go into this mode, like you have,
• 14:25
  you have the whole lion costume.
• 14:27
  And then.
• 14:27
  Of course I do a costume change.
• 14:27
  So you're just a, you're like a lion mafia member at this point.
• 14:31
  I do a quick costume change.
• 14:33
  Oh, okay. You change out of the lion costume.
• 14:35
  Well, not entirely. The tail is still poking out, but I am in a full three-piece suit.
• 14:40
  Yeah.
• 14:40
  A black pinstripe suit.
• 14:42
  The suit is black.
• 14:43
  Yes.
• 14:44
  Good to be specific.
• 14:45
  Yeah. Let's see. Let's clear that up.
• 14:47
  Got a cigar.
• 14:47
  I gained a little bit of weight in my stomach. Um, got a cigar hanging out.
• 14:51
  That's looks like I've been chewing on it for about, I don't know, an hour.
• 14:54
  When I walk up to the guy, say, uh, he bow, you think this is what you want to do?
• 15:00
  I got two fellas back there.
• 15:04
  It takes you out real quick.
• 15:05
  And it's just you in an alleyway under like a dark street lamp.
• 15:09
  Yeah.
• 15:10
  It's just you leaning against the wall.
• 15:11
  I still have my, uh, my lion mane on.
• 15:14
  Yeah.
• 15:14
  My tail's hanging out.
• 15:15
  But I'm in a three-piece.
• 15:16
  Yeah. You will wake up with a, with a horse head in your bed. Do you?
• 15:22
  Trying to sleep with the fishes. Is that what this is?
• 15:25
  What you do is you just threaten them in a 1930s noir fashion then.
• 15:29
  Yes.
• 15:30
  Yeah. How is this still?
• 15:31
  As a lion dressed up as a mafia man.
• 15:33
  And then, yeah.
• 15:34
  Do you have maybe a friend, you haven't asked us by the way,
• 15:37
  do you have maybe a friend standing behind you just kind of flipping a coin?
• 15:41
  Got like a toothpick in her mouth or something.
• 15:43
  Yeah.
• 15:44
  Just wearing like a wife beater.
• 15:46
  I got one friend doing that.
• 15:47
  Then I got another friend just kind of snapping a little bit.
• 15:50
  Just doing a little snapping every now and then.
• 15:51
  So you're not even a real mafia member.
• 15:53
  You're a theater rendition of what they think a mafia member is.
• 15:56
  You're the 1930s, 40s, noir gangster.
• 16:00
  And then you've got a guy from West Side Story over here.
• 16:04
  I don't know if we should really harp on the consistency saying is he has, he's also a lion.
• 16:08
  You are a lion.
• 16:09
  Yeah.
• 16:09
  I'm stuck in the thirties because I do have the wizard of eyes, 1930s,
• 16:14
  Jordy Garland, Wizard of Eyes, get up on.
• 16:16
  Yeah.
• 16:16
  You need a heart.
• 16:18
  Yeah.
• 16:18
  I mean, at least I know my decade.
• 16:20
  Yeah.
• 16:20
  I stick to that.
• 16:22
  You did.
• 16:22
  Yeah.
• 16:24
  It's the most consistent thing about this.
• 16:26
  For sure.
• 16:27
  So how often does it not work?
• 16:29
  Does it work?
• 16:30
  Do they not go out and tell everybody about your weird lion roars in the bathroom or?
• 16:34
  No, it usually doesn't work.
• 16:36
  And then they go say, okay, he did a weird lion roar and then he dressed up in a 1930s mafia nor.
• 16:41
  Yeah. But he was still dressed up as the lion.
• 16:44
  It was really confusing and they, he kind of tells everybody.
• 16:47
  Yikes.
• 16:48
  Yikes.
• 16:48
  So do you make, do you make good on your threats?
• 16:50
  No, no, no, no, no.
• 16:51
  I'm very weak, very weak.
• 16:53
  I couldn't do that to somebody.
• 16:54
  Yeah.
• 16:55
  You know, they're thinly veiled threats and I do not back them up.
• 16:58
  You're very much the type of person that somebody tries to give you a high five.
• 17:01
  You kind of dodge out of the way thinking they're about to hit you.
• 17:03
  Yeah.
• 17:04
  That, yeah, I'm a little skittish and I just not a lot of follow through for me.
• 17:08
  So I kind of say things and then.
• 17:10
  You're a little skittish.
• 17:11
  I said them.
• 17:11
  You're a little skittish, but you're also a little skattish.
• 17:16
  Yeah.
• 17:17
  Cause you know, poop.
• 17:20
  Skattish.
• 17:20
  I thought you were going to do that.
• 17:25
  I was making a poop joke, but maybe you might be a little do-oppy.
• 17:30
  I don't know.
• 17:31
  I thought like sticking to the 1930s.
• 17:33
  Yeah, they pooped in the thirties.
• 17:36
  Okay.
• 17:37
  You're skittish, but you're skattish.
• 17:38
  That was a good joke.
• 17:39
  No, it was, it was good.
• 17:41
  There was a double entendre there.
• 17:44
  I think you were thinking on a higher level than.
• 17:47
  I guess so.
• 17:48
  Man.
• 17:49
  Well.
• 17:50
  I think our joke was a little bit more.
• 17:53
  High brow depending on who you asked.
• 17:54
  Yeah.
• 17:54
  You know, I went darker.
• 17:56
  Dondro would appreciate y'all's joke better than my joke, seeing it was probably
• 18:00
  not as dark as mine, but is that it?
• 18:02
  I mean, he doesn't, that's what you do.
• 18:04
  It doesn't seem like it works.
• 18:05
  I would just not, I would not recommend it.
• 18:08
  You have a very fun reputation at work.
• 18:10
  Yeah.
• 18:10
  Yeah.
• 18:10
  No, this is purely asking what I do and this is not me recommending it.
• 18:15
  This is not an advice segment.
• 18:16
  You don't have to do this.
• 18:18
  No, legally.
• 18:19
  Nobody's legally required.
• 18:20
  But it works for me in the way that it happens.
• 18:24
  Yeah.
• 18:25
  You just do it.
• 18:26
  Well, let me give you some advice.
• 18:27
  Maybe make good on your threats.
• 18:28
  Bust a kneecap, tie a cinder block to their ankles and toss them into a river.
• 18:33
  I'm not really shameful.
• 18:34
  So I don't really care if people know about it.
• 18:36
  So it's kind of just like.
• 18:36
  It now it makes it seem like you want people to know about it.
• 18:39
  A little bit.
• 18:40
  Yeah.
• 18:41
  Turn it into a whole production.
• 18:42
  Yeah.
• 18:42
  I guess.
• 18:43
  Gone out of your way to form this reputation.
• 18:45
  He goes around and says, ask me why I'm not lying about what happened in that bathroom.
• 18:51
  And don't tell anybody about it.
• 18:53
  Well, I mean, I'm sure you've captivated your office.
• 18:57
  They wait till you enter the building before they get out of the car, you know,
• 19:00
  I look for carrying your previously dry, cleaned lion costume into work.
• 19:06
  The guy that walks in at the same time, I said, grabs that door for let me,
• 19:10
  let me, let me get that door for you, sir.
• 19:12
  I hear it's coming.
• 19:13
  Thank you very much.
• 19:16
  I appreciate that.
• 19:17
  I'll remember this gratitude.
• 19:20
  You give him a little kiss on the cheek.
• 19:23
  Confusing thing is I'm dressed in normal business.
• 19:26
  If I were to walk in, I just had the lion suit and the three piece suit,
• 19:30
  just kind of on the hanger.
• 19:31
  Yeah.
• 19:31
  They're pretty dry clean.
• 19:32
  They're in the plastic wrap.
• 19:33
  Yeah.
• 19:33
  I bet a lot of people take a phone call when you come around.
• 19:38
  They try to get out of it.
• 19:39
  They grab like a stapler.
• 19:40
  Hey, yeah, I'll do that.
• 19:42
  Yeah.
• 19:44
  It's the lion guy.
• 19:47
  Well, that's good.
• 19:48
  All right, Alan, somebody catches you doing something weird in a bathroom.
• 19:51
  What do you do to get ahead of them telling everybody at the office?
• 19:55
  So unlike Evan, I, I really care about what people think.
• 19:58
  Yeah.
• 19:59
  I have got a huge problem.
• 20:00
  I'm a big people pleaser.
• 20:02
  Yeah.
• 20:02
  So if I'm in there doing something bad in the bathroom, you know,
• 20:05
  saying something embarrassing when somebody walks in,
• 20:07
  letting out a fart a little too loud,
• 20:08
  I immediately know that I've got to make a change.
• 20:10
  And that change means to take off the first layer of clothes that I'm wearing
• 20:14
  where I'm revealing my second layer of clothes.
• 20:17
  I immediately stuff my entire outfit with paper towels and I leave it on the toilet.
• 20:22
  I crawl out under the bathroom stall, walk out of the bathroom really fast,
• 20:25
  then walk back in and say, dang, that guy's weird in there.
• 20:31
  What did he just do?
• 20:32
  But it's just you and your underwear.
• 20:35
  No, I've got a second layer of clothes.
• 20:39
  Was that not explained?
• 20:41
  I don't know.
• 20:41
  You just said that you took off your first layer of clothes.
• 20:44
  If you have a first layer of clothes, there's generally implied.
• 20:48
  You can apply to the underwear.
• 20:49
  It's a second layer of clothes.
• 20:50
  Maybe, maybe that was not expressed.
• 20:52
  There's a second layer of clothes under it.
• 20:54
  You look like the kid from a Christmas story walking around with his arms off to his side
• 20:58
  because you have a second layer of clothes.
• 21:00
  That's right.
• 21:02
  I just walked back in the bathroom and I'm really loud and I look at that
• 21:06
  paper stuffed body that I've left on the toilet and I pretend like I'm roasting that guy.
• 21:11
  That way when people walk in and they see me loudly talking about this guy,
• 21:15
  they're like, well, it couldn't have been him.
• 21:16
  He's standing right here.
• 21:17
  No way he would have done that.
• 21:19
  But then you start trying to defend the guy on the toilet.
• 21:21
  You're like, and then I'm like, well, he's not that bad.
• 21:24
  He's not that weird.
• 21:26
  I've got a good guy because I mean, I still want the outfit back.
• 21:31
  It's still your clothes.
• 21:32
  Yeah.
• 21:32
  You're going to wear it at some point again.
• 21:34
  That's right.
• 21:35
  And then the problem is, is they'll start to wonder, well, who is that guy?
• 21:37
  That's Alan.
• 21:38
  Where does this guy in the stall work?
• 21:40
  Yeah.
• 21:41
  Is he an active shooter that's in the building?
• 21:44
  I mean, in a sense, that's a leap.
• 21:46
  He's actively shooting.
• 21:48
  Yeah.
• 21:48
  Yeah.
• 21:49
  Wait, so what if they go to talk to the guy, like, you know, do a welfare check on the guy?
• 21:53
  Do you have to like kind of like talk out of your mouth?
• 21:55
  Yeah.
• 21:56
  Do you like ventriloquist dummy this guy?
• 21:58
  Yeah, I try to do that.
• 22:00
  It's not, it's not very easy.
• 22:01
  I'm a terrible ventriloquist.
• 22:03
  Yeah.
• 22:03
  What voice do you give them?
• 22:04
  You want to give us a, let's just say I walk in the bathroom and you've slinked out from under the stall.
• 22:09
  And now you're sitting with me by the sinks, looking at this weirdo in the stall.
• 22:13
  And I'm like, hey, you okay in there?
• 22:15
  I go, uh, hey, what's good, brother?
• 22:17
  Oh, wow.
• 22:18
  What y'all know good.
• 22:19
  Well, that can't be Alan.
• 22:21
  It can't be.
• 22:21
  I didn't sound like Alan.
• 22:22
  And I'm like, I don't know who that is.
• 22:24
  Yeah.
• 22:25
  What's it, what's his name?
• 22:26
  I've never met him before, but he's a cool guy.
• 22:29
  Seems cool though.
• 22:30
  I like those shoes.
• 22:33
  My second question would be bathrooms are generally dirty floor, have generally dirty floors.
• 22:38
  You're crawling out from under a stall.
• 22:40
  You, uh, but you smell bad.
• 22:42
  Yeah.
• 22:42
  What is that like?
• 22:43
  What's the floors generally like?
• 22:45
  The floors are not great.
• 22:46
  But what I do is because the soap in the bathroom smells so adequate.
• 22:51
  I just squirt a lot of that in my hands.
• 22:53
  Just lather my body up.
• 22:56
  Yeah.
• 22:56
  You're really saving yourself from being the weirdo.
• 22:58
  Oh yeah.
• 22:59
  They'll never know.
• 23:01
  At least you're not crapping in the stall.
• 23:03
  But you're like, doing what you're supposed to do in a bathroom stall.
• 23:12
  Yeah.
• 23:12
  Heaven forbid they think that you're farting loud.
• 23:14
  You're just lathering yourself with soap.
• 23:16
  Taking a shower in the sink at work.
• 23:19
  So you don't, you don't have another layer of clothes.
• 23:21
  So you have the original layer of clothes and then you have the second layer of clothes
• 23:24
  is the clothes that gets you out of under the stall.
• 23:26
  And you take out that layer of clothes and now you have a clean, fresh layer of clothes.
• 23:30
  Sure.
• 23:30
  That's the logical thing you do, but you don't do that.
• 23:33
  You have two layers of clothes, one to leave at the stall behind you.
• 23:36
  And the second one, you just kind of rinse off with soap.
• 23:38
  Yeah, that's it.
• 23:39
  Okay.
• 23:40
  He can only afford so many layers of clothes.
• 23:43
  Do you think I'm a rich man?
• 23:44
  I can only afford to wear two pair of clothes five days a week, you know?
• 23:48
  I'm not, I'm not splurging for multiple pairs in a day.
• 23:52
  That's ridiculous.
• 23:52
  That's foolhardy.
• 23:53
  I apologize.
• 23:55
  I apologize.
• 23:57
  I didn't mean to strike a nerve financially here.
• 24:00
  So my question is, so you've created this character, another person that works in the office.
• 24:06
  Do you then have to do his work for him to make it seem like a legitimate other person in the office?
• 24:12
  I don't have to do his work because a lot of the times when you work in an office, you don't always know what other people are doing.
• 24:18
  You just kind of see him there and sitting places and standing places.
• 24:21
  So I just have to pretend to be this guy and just walk around the office for a little bit.
• 24:27
  And then I'm good to go.
• 24:28
  I'm good to go.
• 24:29
  They just need to see him there.
• 24:30
  Nobody really asks a lot of questions if you're confidently walking places.
• 24:34
  Yeah, that makes sense.
• 24:35
  Which is kind of why I have him is because me as a person, I don't confidently walk places.
• 24:40
  I walk with my head hung low, shuffling around.
• 24:44
  I'm not very confident.
• 24:45
  Kind of weepy.
• 24:46
  But my alter ego, that guy who didn't care what sounds he makes in the bathroom.
• 24:50
  Absolutely not.
• 24:50
  He walked with his head high.
• 24:52
  You're a very different person when you walk with a stall.
• 24:54
  Oh, yeah.
• 24:54
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:55
  So much confidence happens when you pull down your pants and.
• 24:58
  I slither out of that stall like some sort of disgusting lizard.
• 25:02
  Yeah.
• 25:03
  But not that guy.
• 25:04
  That guy stays there, holds down the fort.
• 25:06
  Now, do you sign his name on the birthday card that you made?
• 25:08
  His name on the birthday card that usually goes around for a various person's birthday.
• 25:12
  Mm hmm.
• 25:12
  Yeah, it's just kind of like a bunch of squiggles.
• 25:14
  Yeah.
• 25:14
  They're like, is this the bathroom guy?
• 25:16
  Is this the bathroom guy?
• 25:17
  Everybody wonders.
• 25:18
  Yeah.
• 25:19
  You set up your coworkers on dates with them that you don't go to.
• 25:24
  It's just.
• 25:24
  I'll be like, you heard about that confident guy from the bathroom?
• 25:28
  Y'all should go on a date with him.
• 25:29
  And he doesn't obviously it doesn't pan out.
• 25:31
  He's too confident.
• 25:32
  He's too confident.
• 25:32
  Are you upset that everybody wants to go on the date with the guy you're trying not to be?
• 25:36
  And you're in the have the reputation of the weird, slimy, slithery guy.
• 25:42
  It does bring up a problem because again, I am me and I'm not that guy.
• 25:46
  I want to be that guy.
• 25:48
  But I mean, you could be.
• 25:49
  I'm kind of confused on which guy is which now.
• 25:51
  You know, it's hard to keep track.
• 25:53
  This started and the line is even the blur.
• 25:56
  I really don't even remember where we began at.
• 26:00
  Sometimes you just start talking and you black out.
• 26:03
  Y'all know about that.
• 26:03
  Yeah.
• 26:04
  Yeah.
• 26:04
  I think all my answers on this.
• 26:06
  Two hours that we record this is just a big blackout.
• 26:08
  Yeah.
• 26:09
  Did they ever kick down the door and realize that it's just a person?
• 26:13
  It's not even a person.
• 26:14
  It's just stuffed paper and an outfit.
• 26:16
  And you're like, oh, my God, how did that happen?
• 26:18
  Who would do that?
• 26:19
  Yeah.
• 26:19
  Have they ever found out?
• 26:20
  No, they haven't found out.
• 26:23
  And that's because we have a strict don't ask, don't tell policy in the bathroom.
• 26:27
  That's good to have.
• 26:28
  No, not a lot of places have it.
• 26:29
  Not as don't tell policy in the bathroom.
• 26:32
  They ask so many questions.
• 26:33
  Every place I go to just ask so many questions in your normal bathroom.
• 26:41
  They just give me a piece of paper, the multiple choice 50 question test.
• 26:45
  Standardized Scantron.
• 26:48
  Yeah.
• 26:48
  I'm going to fill it out every time I use the bathroom.
• 26:51
  I've taken 13 IQ tests this year just from trying to go to the bathroom in public.
• 26:55
  It's good, though.
• 26:56
  That's a good way to get out.
• 26:57
  Become a different person and blame it all on a pair of clothes that you use stuff with.
• 27:02
  Definitely.
• 27:02
  You're if Evan's bit was be the lion from the Wizard of Oz, my bit is be the scarecrow from
• 27:09
  the Wizard of Oz.
• 27:10
  Oh, man.
• 27:11
  All right, Tin Man.
• 27:12
  I'm going to be Dorothy.
• 27:13
  I'm going to dress up as a girl.
• 27:16
  But yeah, so I when I do a weird thing in the bathroom, I realize that people will go
• 27:22
  and tell other people because they think it's weird.
• 27:25
  The reason they think it's weird is because they don't know what it's like.
• 27:28
  They don't know what it's like to be in the bathroom doing weird stuff.
• 27:31
  So what I do, I'm singing.
• 27:33
  I am using the tank of the toilet to do my business in rather than the actual bowl.
• 27:39
  And, you know, they're like they know somebody's in the stall,
• 27:41
  but they don't see the feet on the ground.
• 27:43
  And it's me grunting and groaning and singing a merry tune.
• 27:46
  And they go out and tell or try to go out and tell people.
• 27:48
  No, no, I don't let them do that.
• 27:49
  I do attack.
• 27:50
  What I do is I bring them back into a stall like a black widow bringing in a cricket.
• 27:55
  Right.
• 27:55
  And I tie them up and I make them sit there with me while I do my business.
• 27:58
  Yeah, I make them look me in the eye.
• 28:00
  That's disgusting.
• 28:02
  Y'all know I'm an actor.
• 28:03
  Right.
• 28:04
  I'm a thespian.
• 28:05
  Right.
• 28:05
  I'm a big thespian.
• 28:07
  And I have scripts.
• 28:08
  A flaming thespian.
• 28:09
  A flaming thespian.
• 28:10
  And what I do is I'll give them one script.
• 28:13
  I'll take the other half.
• 28:14
  And what we'll do is we'll do a table read.
• 28:15
  Oh, come on.
• 28:16
  We do like a little scene.
• 28:19
  This is all taking place inside of a stall.
• 28:21
  Yeah, very close quarters.
• 28:22
  While you're taking a dump.
• 28:23
  Yeah.
• 28:24
  While I'm doing my business taking a dump in the tank of the toilet.
• 28:27
  You're doing an old double decker.
• 28:32
  And we do a little read of various movies and theater productions, some of which I've written.
• 28:39
  Some of which, you know, are existing theater.
• 28:41
  We've done Alexander Hamilton multiple times with multiple different people within my work.
• 28:46
  I don't care that you haven't seen it or can't sing.
• 28:48
  You're playing Aaron Burr's character while I play Alexander Hamilton.
• 28:51
  We go through that entire play doing all the different characters.
• 28:55
  And then when they do that, they can't go out and tell people because they took part in it.
• 29:00
  Yeah.
• 29:01
  Yeah.
• 29:01
  They can't do anything about it.
• 29:02
  They're an accomplice.
• 29:03
  Yeah, they're an accomplice in it.
• 29:04
  So they go out and try to tell people that, hey, there's a weirdo in the bathroom doing sketches.
• 29:09
  They can't do that because they were part of it.
• 29:11
  They were the second half of the sketch.
• 29:13
  So when they walk into that stall, is there like water bottles and just paper packets laid out
• 29:18
  around just like it is a real table read?
• 29:21
  Yeah, it's like a green room situation.
• 29:23
  There's a guy they don't know just in there flipping through, highlighting things.
• 29:27
  It's a secretary tapping on a computer and stuff like that.
• 29:30
  Yeah, it's like a whole production.
• 29:32
  It looks like the writers room of Saturday Night Live.
• 29:35
  And you're just trying to do all these chemistry reads, right?
• 29:38
  You're just trying to find the right co-actor for you.
• 29:41
  Yeah, I'm trying to find the person that I connect with.
• 29:44
  So I'm in the bathroom all day long because it's a numbers game.
• 29:47
  Eventually, I'm going to find a person.
• 29:48
  Or are you just looking for an open bathroom?
• 29:50
  I don't work in there anymore because they fired me because they were like,
• 29:54
  this guy just sits in the bathroom all day and he kidnaps me.
• 29:58
  That'll do it every time.
• 29:59
  Important logistical question.
• 30:00
  Is this a handicap stall or a normal stall?
• 30:03
  It's a normal stall.
• 30:04
  Wow, that's a lot of people fit in one stall.
• 30:07
  It's one at a time.
• 30:10
  Why did you think it was a bunch of people that are slowly collecting people?
• 30:13
  Well, no, I meant like you, your clerical person highlighting stuff in the corner.
• 30:19
  I was assuming you're in the handicap stall,
• 30:20
  but it also has one of those baby changing tables that you fold out.
• 30:23
  It's kind of like a desk area.
• 30:25
  You get your papers.
• 30:27
  You have cigarettes and coffee.
• 30:31
  It's like a 70s newsroom in there.
• 30:34
  But the fun thing is once I find the person that I connect with
• 30:37
  and we have chemistry that we're able to do the production,
• 30:39
  we do a little production for the office after we're done.
• 30:42
  That's nice.
• 30:43
  Yeah.
• 30:44
  We don't leave the stall though.
• 30:45
  It's always a catch.
• 30:46
  Yeah, you know your space.
• 30:49
  Home field advantage.
• 30:50
  We really open that stall door and put a little curtain out front
• 30:55
  and there's a person just grabbing a hold of the line.
• 30:57
  It opens the curtain.
• 30:58
  It's just me sitting on the toilet with my pants around my ankles.
• 31:02
  How long is this thing?
• 31:03
  You got a lot to get out.
• 31:04
  I have hemorrhoids now because it's a long time.
• 31:07
  You have Crohn's disease or something?
• 31:09
  You gotta be ready.
• 31:12
  Yeah, we do like a little production for them.
• 31:14
  Point being is they can't call me weird anymore.
• 31:18
  Oh, yeah.
• 31:20
  You know, I'm not weird anymore because they're in on it.
• 31:23
  I think they can.
• 31:24
  I think all the viewers can call you weird,
• 31:26
  but they also have to call your other coworker weird.
• 31:28
  Yeah, exactly.
• 31:29
  And you know, by the time I am done with the office
• 31:32
  trying to find that number two, you know, the co-star.
• 31:35
  You found the number two.
• 31:40
  By the time I found my co-star,
• 31:42
  most people have been through the screening process with me.
• 31:46
  So just made a bunch of victims.
• 31:49
  We don't need any more victims in this world.
• 31:51
  And look what you're doing.
• 31:52
  I take a bow.
• 31:53
  It's hard to take a bow while you're sitting, but I do.
• 31:55
  The curtains close and everybody goes back to their office job.
• 31:58
  Another day gone.
• 31:59
  It's another day done.
• 32:02
  And that's just a Monday.
• 32:04
  Did you ever say you're taking a bowel?
• 32:05
  Yeah, taking a bowel.
• 32:07
  You gotta understand a lot of times these theater productions
• 32:10
  have romance aspects to it.
• 32:11
  Well, this is a male bathroom.
• 32:13
  So I just get males that come in there.
• 32:14
  So eventually it's just a scared dude in a blonde wig
• 32:18
  being my being my romantic co-star.
• 32:21
  That's what I do.
• 32:21
  That's what I do.
• 32:22
  There you go, John-Dro.
• 32:23
  That's what we do.
• 32:24
  Evan threatens people.
• 32:27
  He doesn't go through with them.
• 32:29
  Alan literally slinks out and becomes another person
• 32:33
  to cast a responsibility on a pile of clothes.
• 32:37
  And I get people in and on it with me.
• 32:40
  And that way they could never speak poorly about you.
• 32:42
  But I hope that helps John-Dro.
• 32:44
  And I hope that we eventually have something
• 32:46
  that you can give us your money.
• 32:47
  But there you go, John-Dro.
• 32:48
  Tell your friends about us.
• 32:49
  That's everybody.
• 32:50
  Tell your friends about us.
• 32:51
  We want your money.
• 32:53
  Yeah, we also want to give you guys something to talk about
• 32:55
  when you're hanging out talking about unimportant stuff
• 32:58
  like your lives.
• 33:00
  Taxes.
• 33:00
  Taxes.
• 33:01
  We want you to talk about our lives.
• 33:05
  Don't talk about how bad the housing market is.
• 33:07
  Forget about it.
• 33:08
  Forget about it.
• 33:09
  Forget about it.
• 33:10
  On the day of our daughter's wedding.
• 33:13
  On the day of our daughter's battle movement.
• 33:15
  Oh.
• 33:16
  She only has one?
• 33:19
  Very backed up.
• 33:20
  Oh, no.
• 33:22
  But thanks for your email, John-Dro.
• 33:24
  Yeah.
• 33:24
  Yeah.
• 33:25
  Everybody tell your friends.
• 33:26
  We will maybe have a way to take your money.
• 33:29
  Everybody else, feel free to write in to us too
• 33:31
  if you all have a question.
• 33:32
  At questionwithdetourpodcast.gmail.com
• 33:34
  if you want to write in and give us a hypothetical to answer.
• 33:38
  All right.
• 33:39
  So guys, we're bringing back an old segment
• 33:41
  we hadn't done in a few episodes.
• 33:43
  It's been a while.
• 33:44
  It has been.
• 33:45
  We're going to do our movie segment.
• 33:46
  So sit back, get some corn, and let's have movie time.
• 33:56
  All right.
• 33:56
  So on this segment, our movies are going to be from the 80s.
• 34:02
  So if you are new to the program or just forgot how we do this
• 34:07
  because you have dementia, I'm going to read off the names
• 34:14
  of some movies.
• 34:15
  And we're going to go through here and just kind of workshop
• 34:18
  what we think these films might be about.
• 34:21
  All right.
• 34:21
  First 80s movie we have here is a classic St. Elmo's Fire.
• 34:26
  No, I've actually never seen this movie.
• 34:28
  From the sound of it, it does sound like a Sesame Street
• 34:31
  character got priesthood and became an arsonist.
• 34:34
  That's exactly what I was going to say.
• 34:36
  I was actually going to say it's just like a little Elmo
• 34:38
  character in his little light priest collar,
• 34:40
  and he just pissed off.
• 34:42
  He's lighting all the drug houses and brothels on fire.
• 34:47
  He's just going around basically starting a holy war.
• 34:51
  He's like, he says, only God can judge you,
• 34:54
  but I can send you to him as he walks away from a fire.
• 34:59
  Cleanse these streets of the sins.
• 35:02
  I think that's exactly what I was thinking.
• 35:04
  It's hard not to go with that.
• 35:06
  I have Sesame Street.
• 35:07
  I would learn so much if he was just like teaching me
• 35:09
  my ABCs and one, two, threes while he was melting
• 35:12
  the face office of drug dealers.
• 35:15
  It sounds like a sweet action movie.
• 35:17
  Teaching you how to count while doing an exorcism.
• 35:21
  That's a way better description of the movie
• 35:23
  than what it actually is.
• 35:25
  What is the actual movie?
• 35:26
  It's really just a group of kids who graduate college
• 35:29
  and don't know what to do with their lives.
• 35:32
  They're all terrible people.
• 35:33
  And that's the movie.
• 35:34
  That's it.
• 35:35
  Yeah, our movie is better.
• 35:35
  We either do our movie.
• 35:37
  I like Catholic Elmo.
• 35:39
  I like Catholic Elmo cleaning up the streets.
• 35:42
  Catholic arsonist Elmo.
• 35:43
  God loves him.
• 35:44
  Firefighters hate him.
• 35:46
  In theaters this fall.
• 35:49
  All right.
• 35:49
  The next one we have is Footloose.
• 35:52
  Footloose.
• 35:53
  Footloose sounds like a movie about a person
• 35:56
  with an amputated leg and he loses it.
• 35:59
  Like he unscrews in some weird unfortunate event
• 36:02
  and it falls down some stairs and into a mail carrier's bag
• 36:07
  and all of a sudden it gets shipped across the United States
• 36:10
  and he just has to go find his leg and he's hopping around.
• 36:15
  Road trip comedy movie.
• 36:16
  His foot is loose.
• 36:18
  And he's just following a string of clues.
• 36:20
  Right.
• 36:20
  I like to think some unsavory characters
• 36:22
  or savory characters along the way.
• 36:24
  Meeting friends along the way.
• 36:26
  I like to think he has a connection to it.
• 36:28
  His prosthetic leg slash foot like Wilson from Castaway.
• 36:32
  You know Tom Hanks character really loved Wilson
• 36:34
  because it was the only thing he had.
• 36:36
  Well that prosthetic leg is the only thing this guy has
• 36:38
  and he has to go find it because he lost it.
• 36:40
  He finds it at the end and it's got like stamps
• 36:43
  from all the different places he's been.
• 36:44
  Yeah.
• 36:45
  He's in the end it's just he realizes that he never got out
• 36:49
  and experienced life much and this caused him to experience life.
• 36:52
  And it's just a feel good 80s movie.
• 36:53
  You know classic feel good 80s movie.
• 36:55
  Who plays the amputee?
• 36:56
  Bill Murray.
• 36:57
  I'm going to go with Bill Murray.
• 36:58
  I think he's a close second to Tom Hanks.
• 37:00
  I feel like Bill Murray would be very funny as the guy.
• 37:02
  The one legged man finding his amputated leg.
• 37:05
  Evan do you have anything?
• 37:06
  My version of Footloose in my head is it is a bunch of old men.
• 37:10
  It's a old western 80s western and it's a bunch of old men
• 37:14
  looking at just the connections of things
• 37:17
  whether that's like a trailer to a truck
• 37:19
  or one train car to another.
• 37:20
  Yeah.
• 37:21
  Just the connection point.
• 37:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:22
  And it's a little wobbly you know.
• 37:24
  And they look at that and they say now that's about a footloose.
• 37:27
  Oh here it is.
• 37:29
  That's the whole movie.
• 37:30
  They need to tighten that up.
• 37:31
  They go around to different connection points
• 37:32
  and they're like now that bad boy's a little footloose.
• 37:35
  It sounds like an Oscar winner.
• 37:37
  Yeah.
• 37:38
  There's nothing that old men like talking about more than saying
• 37:41
  well that could have been better.
• 37:42
  That could have been better.
• 37:43
  Could have been done a little bit better.
• 37:44
  But in the end they find out that the connection that really mattered
• 37:47
  was the connection between themselves.
• 37:49
  Yeah the friends they made along the way.
• 37:51
  They thought the trailer was a Footloose
• 37:54
  but they realized their bond was a Footloose too.
• 37:56
  They tied that up.
• 37:58
  Yeah.
• 37:58
  I like that.
• 37:59
  And then maybe they kiss.
• 38:00
  Maybe they kiss.
• 38:02
  Maybe a little pickle on the cheek.
• 38:03
  Okay okay.
• 38:04
  All right Alan what do you think Footloose is?
• 38:06
  I was thinking it was like a dystopian future movie.
• 38:11
  Okay.
• 38:11
  Where they decide to stop using the unit of measurement foot.
• 38:15
  They said we're gonna lose that unit of measurement.
• 38:17
  We're gonna go from inches to yards.
• 38:21
  Nothing in between.
• 38:22
  Nothing in between.
• 38:24
  And they kind of society obviously crumbles.
• 38:26
  Yeah.
• 38:27
  Pretty quickly after that.
• 38:28
  Literally.
• 38:28
  Yeah.
• 38:29
  Buildings are not secure.
• 38:30
  No.
• 38:30
  Not on.
• 38:31
  Fall over a lot.
• 38:32
  Yeah.
• 38:33
  It's a very bleak look on the future.
• 38:36
  Yeah which is really confusing because America is the only ones that use the foot anyway.
• 38:40
  Yes.
• 38:41
  Well America is the only one that matters.
• 38:42
  I guess you're right.
• 38:43
  Every other place in the world is fine.
• 38:46
  We are in turmoil here.
• 38:48
  It's like an alien movie.
• 38:49
  Aliens always attack the United States.
• 38:51
  Well you know dystopia only happens in the United States.
• 38:53
  I guess you're right.
• 38:54
  Next one we have is The Untouchables.
• 38:56
  I think it's kind of just who gets to it first.
• 39:00
  Well I'm gonna get to it first.
• 39:01
  I think it's a movie about a bunch of ugly little kids.
• 39:06
  And they're kind of upset that men in white vans don't pick them up.
• 39:11
  And they call themselves The Untouchables.
• 39:12
  Yeah.
• 39:13
  They're like why don't they pick us up?
• 39:15
  It's just a portly little kid as he sees his friend get snatched into a white van and drives off.
• 39:20
  And he's just sad.
• 39:21
  A bunch of those orphans that never get adopted.
• 39:23
  Yeah.
• 39:25
  What were you gonna say Evan?
• 39:26
  Because I feel like I thought we were gonna be on the same page with that but maybe not.
• 39:30
  I was just gonna say it's something about people that just they just can't have sex.
• 39:34
  There's just something about it that's untouchable.
• 39:37
  Like incels?
• 39:38
  Like they're so gross and they just can't find the romance.
• 39:41
  They're just untouchable.
• 39:42
  I think it's more of a-
• 39:43
  They don't take showers.
• 39:44
  Gross.
• 39:45
  They don't wear deodorant.
• 39:47
  Yeah.
• 39:47
  Kind of is that what you're saying?
• 39:48
  Yeah it's a bunch of incels.
• 39:49
  Like neckbeards.
• 39:50
  Just a bunch of neckbeards.
• 39:52
  Nice guys.
• 39:53
  Nice girls.
• 39:53
  Nice guys yeah.
• 39:54
  Um that just they finish last I gotta say that much.
• 39:57
  Yeah they-
• 39:58
  Nice guys always finish-
• 39:59
  They always do.
• 40:00
  I bet that is I bet that's the like the subtitle is untouchables nice guys finish last.
• 40:05
  Yeah.
• 40:06
  There's the guy in a fedora with a with a katana just as the as the poster.
• 40:11
  Wears my hugs in the trailer you know.
• 40:14
  Near anyone.
• 40:15
  When he's in the movie he's like trying to open doors for people for women and he always says m'lady.
• 40:20
  Yeah he says m'lady a lot.
• 40:21
  It's his fedora.
• 40:22
  Yeah.
• 40:23
  My little pony shirt on.
• 40:25
  Wonders why they're running away quickly.
• 40:28
  Well what do you think it is what do you think Untouchables the movie Untouchables is?
• 40:32
  I was thinking it was about uh it's kind of like an airbud spin-off but it was a
• 40:37
  series of service dogs where they all have those things that say please do not touch.
• 40:41
  Yeah yeah okay.
• 40:42
  And they just go around doing acts of heroism.
• 40:44
  That's pretty cool but nobody can pet them.
• 40:45
  But nobody can pet them though.
• 40:47
  They're working.
• 40:48
  So they do all these good things but they never can receive the pets that they really want.
• 40:50
  Oh man.
• 40:51
  Sad.
• 40:52
  It is sad.
• 40:53
  Truly sad.
• 40:53
  The next one Big Trouble in Little China.
• 40:56
  Which I don't know if either of you have ever seen this movie before but.
• 40:59
  I'm not.
• 40:59
  Your made-up movie synopsis probably will come closer than you think.
• 41:04
  This movie is a fever dream.
• 41:05
  For me Big Trouble in Little China is a uh a cool like almost like a cool samurai movie
• 41:11
  but it's just midget Chinese people and they're just like ninjas and they're doing flips and
• 41:16
  waddling around and you know have katanas and they're just chopping up people's knees
• 41:20
  because that's about as far as up as they can reach and you know it's a lot of big trouble.
• 41:25
  It was a big trouble but they settle it.
• 41:27
  True.
• 41:27
  They figure it out.
• 41:29
  You know they're they're short in stature and also short in temperament.
• 41:32
  Yeah.
• 41:33
  What did you think was what did you go with was was that kind of sort of.
• 41:36
  Not really.
• 41:37
  No okay.
• 41:37
  It was more a normal size white person walks into like a rural town that has like a China town to it.
• 41:44
  Yeah.
• 41:45
  So it's like a small China town.
• 41:46
  Yeah yeah.
• 41:47
  Little China.
• 41:48
  But Big Trouble to them is just like a normal white person.
• 41:52
  Like size comparison.
• 41:54
  Yeah.
• 41:55
  Like.
• 41:55
  So they're calling they're calling the normal size white person Big Trouble.
• 41:58
  Yeah like that's big like he's like 5'11".
• 42:01
  They're like there's a giant person here.
• 42:02
  Yeah exactly and he just has you know normal troubles but they're like this guy's so big.
• 42:08
  His financial troubles are really big.
• 42:10
  His financial troubles are large.
• 42:13
  Proportionately his troubles are big.
• 42:15
  All right I want you what would you say.
• 42:16
  I've actually seen the movie and I'm just going to take the similarities in what both of you say
• 42:22
  and just tell you the synopsis.
• 42:24
  Okay.
• 42:24
  Is about a normal white man going to the China town of San Francisco.
• 42:29
  White man played by Kurt Russell.
• 42:31
  There are a lot of samurai ninja like people.
• 42:33
  Yeah.
• 42:34
  And the bad guy is an immortal old man.
• 42:38
  We're not too far off.
• 42:39
  I mean you guys were you guys were pretty close.
• 42:42
  I mean there wasn't enough midgets in it I'd say but it's fine.
• 42:44
  I don't think there are any midgets.
• 42:46
  No.
• 42:46
  There needs to be more midgets.
• 42:47
  You always say that.
• 42:48
  Yeah.
• 42:50
  Not enough midgets in my life.
• 42:51
  Next we have the electric grandmother.
• 42:54
  I'm not even sure is there a real movie.
• 42:56
  I don't feel like it's a real movie.
• 42:57
  It's real it's real.
• 42:58
  I think this is a classic 80s movie about a it's a movie about kids like coming of age story about
• 43:04
  a group of kids that never had a grandmother.
• 43:06
  So they get together put their heads together and they start building an electric robotic
• 43:11
  grandmother that will bake them cookies and read them stories but it all climaxes the point where
• 43:18
  there's robbers almost like a home alone situation where the robbers are breaking into the house while
• 43:23
  the kids are alone and not only does this electric grandmother bake them cookies and read them stories
• 43:28
  but she's also a master of karate and she fights off these uh these robbers and they die.
• 43:33
  It's not they she cuts her head right off like it's it's it's graphic it's bloody lots of blood
• 43:39
  it looks like an old 80s slasher movie.
• 43:41
  Yeah that's the electric grandmother it's kind of like a Mrs Doubtfire kind of feeling movie you know
• 43:46
  until the robbery scene that gets kind of dark.
• 43:49
  Lots of death really takes a deep turn yeah dark turn kids are scarred forever have to have therapy
• 43:54
  for 20 years.
• 43:55
  Yeah they they probably avoid the electric grandmother at that point.
• 43:58
  I would I would see that as like yeah absolutely it sounds great.
• 44:01
  I think the electric grandmother is a prison break movie the grandmother is in prison she makes it
• 44:05
  out but the dog sniff her out she didn't get out she she got out for a little bout yeah she broke
• 44:10
  out didn't make it too far gets sent back to the prison murders a person on accident but she still
• 44:15
  did it she gets caught sent to the chair.
• 44:17
  Oh wow so she just dies by the electric chair yeah she gets put to death okay 100 percent sent
• 44:24
  to the chair electric I like that all right Alan how's your grandmother?
• 44:27
  I'm gonna say that this movie is just a kind of a snapshot of the last moments of a grandmother
• 44:36
  who is on life support it's a comedy about her children and grandchildren trying to steal her
• 44:45
  jewelry which she's wearing while in the bed on life support they all are trying to race to the
• 44:50
  hospital to see if they can steal that jewelry.
• 44:52
  It's kind of like a rat race situation.
• 44:54
  Sort of a rat race situation and it just I think it's it's cool because it really brings the whole
• 45:00
  family together yeah yeah a lot of hijinks yeah a lot of a lot of gags going on you know it's just
• 45:07
  it's just good good family fun and the happy moment in this movie is that she has family around when
• 45:12
  she dies yeah sure they're trying to take her pearls off her neck and her rings off her finger
• 45:18
  but at least they're around when that EKG machine finally flat lines and when when she finally dies
• 45:25
  there's a whole nother 30 minutes of the movie where the kids just and grandkids just physically
• 45:30
  assault each other for these jewelry this jewelry they've got about they've got about 45 seconds of
• 45:36
  grieving yeah and then it's another 30 minutes yeah it's very expensive jewelry yeah yeah
• 45:41
  she didn't leave a last will and testament no no no no and the last one we've got is
• 45:46
  drugstore cowboy i think they wrote the title wrong oh okay not necessarily the words were wrong
• 45:54
  but the way that they formed the words were wrong they meant to have commas between each word yeah
• 45:59
  so it was a list yeah it was a list but it was more telling you the story within the title uh a
• 46:06
  guy took some drugs he went to the store there was a cow on the way he kissed it and became a boy oh
• 46:14
  it was a fairy tale oh okay that's all i got it's a list of things that happened yeah it totally
• 46:20
  that's a romance storytelling at its best it's a romance between some drugged up guy kissing cows
• 46:26
  and what just happened to be a magic cow it was a rags to riches story okay we love a magic cow
• 46:32
  story yeah i love it that's awesome as a fan of western movies alan this should be right up your
• 46:36
  alley right at my alley yeah and i think it's i i'd be willing to say it's probably based on a true
• 46:42
  story about the uh the little known uh gunslinger they call the walgreens kid the walgreens kid is a
• 46:49
  doctor travels the old west instead of guns he quick draws syringes and just just drugs people
• 46:56
  yeah but it's always a gamble on what he gives them so you never know sometimes he might kill
• 47:00
  him immediately sometimes he might save their lives yeah he might stick them with a syringe
• 47:04
  and they're like i can i can breathe now like allergies are gone sometimes they might not
• 47:09
  breathe again and he just kind of like he slinks his uh syringes and throws them back in his
• 47:14
  holster and he just kind of looks at the camera and he goes well that's medicine baby see we're
• 47:20
  using needles it's the old west yeah it's our c it's our tiv bacteria was different back
• 47:27
  yeah syringes are not are not just a dime a dozen you know he might have cured them from one disease
• 47:32
  but he gave them a totally different disease i like that he plays the cowboy that drugs people
• 47:37
  bill cosby oh i feel like that one's that one's too on the nose i feel like it's probably a denzel
• 47:45
  washington denzel's good with the uh he's he's good with the one-liners i think yeah absolutely
• 47:49
  the one-liners and the walk in the line of morality i guess yeah yeah yeah yeah you're you're okay with
• 47:54
  him being a little morally ambiguous yeah exactly because it's denzel it's like in training day like
• 48:00
  he's a bad guy but he's still denzel yeah like you can't be mad at him seem to be most of his
• 48:05
  characters you know equalizer yeah brought you by equalizer three coming out in october please see
• 48:10
  you the movie it's probably getting a beating not great but if equalizer three if you guys denzel if
• 48:16
  you're listening if you'll pay us we will advertise for that movie so hard we will make it seem like
• 48:22
  it's the greatest we'll rename our podcast to equalizer we will do live watch throughs of the
• 48:30
  two leading equalizer movies leading up to three we just want to get out of this never-ending story
• 48:38
  but there you go there are movies why doesn't anybody hire us to write movies we have great
• 48:43
  ideas hollywood we're here yeah you just have to give us a title and we'll tell you the story
• 48:48
  yeah untapped resource here but uh there you go there is our movie segment we haven't done that
• 48:52
  in a while but uh here's another segment we haven't done in a few episodes at least we got a found
• 48:57
  somebody on craigslist so let's uh let's get into that craigslist has got what you need but sometimes
• 49:02
  craigslist needs what you got all right for the craigslist today the first craigslist in a hot
• 49:09
  minute in a few weeks is a craigslist that is titled female for inspiration after amputation
• 49:18
  and this is the legitimate title it goes on to say in the body of the post female for inspiration
• 49:23
  after my amputation next tuesday i will receive my prosthetic leg but for now i fear i am gross
• 49:29
  lurking without it may there be a female that may offer some wisdom or inspiration i assure y'all
• 49:38
  this is not going to go the direction you think it's going to go but also totally makes sense
• 49:42
  what craigslist is this is the kind of content we come to this is the craigslist for i think
• 49:47
  so you were drawn to this one i'm sure well listen it's a numbers game with craigslist you're just
• 49:51
  going down the listing and just offering up emails and this guy it just some of them email back and
• 49:57
  this guy email back so i initially email this guy and i say hello i hear you need some inspiration
• 50:04
  and wisdom please let me do that for you because i want to be that for this guy he says hello yes
• 50:09
  i am in need of a woman to help me be confident without my leg and maybe be a little turned on
• 50:15
  are you a woman now like i said this is going to go exactly how you think the craigslist will go
• 50:21
  because it's just a bunch of horny guys whether they have a leg or not so he immediately comes
• 50:27
  out the gate he just wants to be turned on he now he asked he asked are you a woman at the end of
• 50:31
  that and i said i sure am and here's my first bit of wisdom for you and maybe you'll be inspired by
• 50:37
  it as well if you light a lamp for someone it will brighten their path for a night if you ignite your
• 50:43
  amputated leg and let them use it as a torch it will illuminate their journey forever now is that
• 50:49
  inspiring for a guy that's getting his leg amputated or not you're you're telling him what he can do
• 50:55
  with his new leg not what he can't do without it that's right it's i'm inspiring him with a
• 50:59
  can-do attitude that's right don't be limited is what i'm telling this guy he goes on to say
• 51:05
  i won't be doing that so tell me do you like amputees and let me see a picture of you so i
• 51:10
  know who i'm talking to so he kind of ignored my wisdom it's kind of offensive all right that was
• 51:16
  good wisdom i continue i sure do like amputees in fact i'm an amputee myself i remove both my ears
• 51:23
  so that i could be more streamlined when i stick my head out of the car window i continue with
• 51:29
  wisdom and inspiration number two if the early bird gets the worm it's probably because that
• 51:34
  bird has two legs to help him arrive so early inspiring birds have wings his friend that's what
• 51:44
  he said birds have wings let me see a picture of you i want to see where you have no ears i like
• 51:50
  so he gives he initially starts this with a fun fact birds have wings as if i didn't know that
• 51:59
  he's trying to downplay how the rest of that sentence is gonna is gonna sound i just like
• 52:04
  how he ends it i like i continue to him saying that with yes they do have wings but you know
• 52:11
  the classic saying that everyone says wings are like legs they would both look weird if a child
• 52:17
  had four of them and okay let me get a picture for you i will have to find my polaroid camera
• 52:25
  what address would you like me to send it to i'll send him a picture but it's good you just wait
• 52:30
  ever just absolutely no you know i i told him i'll send him a picture but it's gonna have to be via
• 52:37
  mail but y'all y'all know the classic saying wings are like legs they would look weird if a child had
• 52:41
  four of them i mean we say that all the time i think my grandmother used to say yeah it's a classic
• 52:45
  saying he responds to me saying give me your address and i'll send a picture to you with i've
• 52:50
  never heard of that yes please send to and i'm not gonna read his address but he does give his
• 52:55
  address in queens new york so that will tell you that much if you will to a lying stranger to a
• 53:02
  if you can find a guy with one leg in queens new york it's probably him don't give people your
• 53:07
  address on craigslist random people just a psa you never know who's on the other end it's it could
• 53:16
  be three weird guys in a podcast it could be a murderer which is worth really i continue wow
• 53:23
  you've never heard that that's offensive to someone who has self-amputated their ears so they can be
• 53:29
  streamlined when they stick their head out the car window how dare you do you think that taking the
• 53:34
  ears off affects your hearing i didn't think through it to be honest but i i just pretended
• 53:40
  to be offended with him he continues i'm very sorry i didn't mean to offend you i do not want
• 53:45
  you to be mad at me i want some sex this may be one of the most straightforward guys he had
• 53:52
  yeah he did not start off with like some pleasantries he's not trying to sell us a boat or
• 53:58
  yeah or something uh but masking it behind any no winky faces or anything like that he just says
• 54:07
  i don't want to offend you because i want sex like it's very straightforward i continue to that
• 54:12
  well i do not have some sex but i do have many wisdom the wisdom i continue with is what does
• 54:19
  it kill you makes you stronger but it may cause you to lose a leg really really bringing it uh
• 54:26
  personalizing it to him yeah i'm trying to inspire him he continues you do not want sex why all i
• 54:32
  would like is sex and for you to compliment me since i am i will be losing my legs please he's
• 54:38
  begging he's begging me for sex and his his only point having sex with him he's losing a leg that's
• 54:44
  his pickup line i don't think he's losing a leg at all he's gaining one with anything i'm no girl
• 54:51
  surprise surprise but i don't think i don't think you're gonna get girl by saying give me sex i'm
• 54:55
  losing my leg i said tell me about yourself and show me what you look like oh no so his response
• 55:02
  to me asking what he looks like and asking him to tell me about himself he sends us a picture
• 55:07
  and then tells me about himself all he says is i'm 54 and i live in queens he looks every bit of
• 55:13
  50 tell tell no i'm not you know we're not going to expose this guy's face but tell everybody what
• 55:18
  he looks like he looks like a retired firefighter got uh more than two chins yeah looks like he
• 55:24
  could be one of the thumb creatures from spy kids an alcoholic look how red his face is balding but
• 55:33
  won't dive into it all the way kind of holding on to every last piece of hair for sure he probably
• 55:39
  ditched the comb over just a few years ago yeah yeah he just keeps his hair really short now i
• 55:44
  i feel like every person on craigslist looks like this he took this selfie i mean i'm assuming
• 55:49
  that's at his job i don't know yeah like it's not it's not inside of a house like he took that
• 55:53
  selfie out somewhere where people could see him especially since it's blown up on this tv it just
• 55:58
  feels like he's staring into my soul right yeah there's there's not a thought behind those eyes
• 56:02
  but you know he knows something a little bit more and anytime i move in the room i feel like his eyes
• 56:07
  follow me it's like a painting in a scary haunted house yeah this guy's the guy that you're gonna
• 56:12
  meet on craigslist but what's funny to me is i ask him to tell me about himself and he just
• 56:17
  gives me two things i'm 54 i live in queens i continue wow thank you for that long list with
• 56:23
  all the things about you losing your leg might legitimately be the most interesting about you
• 56:28
  huh he continues oh no he continues yes i'm losing it because of diabetes would you like to see my
• 56:37
  penis we could have self-diagnosed probably why he's losing his leg missed off the picture
• 56:43
  i want to repeat i want to repeat that message i'm gonna go a little bit slowly i really don't
• 56:47
  want to hear it again yeah i'm gonna repeat it up he says yes i'm losing it because of diabetes
• 56:51
  would you like to see my penis the fact that he put those two things in the same sentence
• 56:58
  is hilarious how funny would it be if both of the sentences were swapped
• 57:05
  uh would you like to see my penis i'm losing it because of diabetes like get it while you can
• 57:10
  you know yeah here today gone tomorrow no i think that's hilarious i think that's hilarious does he
• 57:16
  think that work listen i don't i don't think you should show any strangers your penis don't do it i
• 57:21
  think your chances of being successful goes down tremendously when you tell them your diseases
• 57:27
  right before it the other thing about this message is i would like to hear it and like you know this
• 57:32
  is over text so like the inflection and things like that are lost in it that yeah you don't
• 57:37
  human speech so i would just you lose the interest in like the different ways you could say that
• 57:42
  sentence like or how would you say that well i immediately what how do you think he said it how
• 57:46
  what do you think this guy sounds like he said really breathy yeah yeah i'm losing diabetes
• 57:54
  would you like to see my penis i continue to him asking if i would like to see his penis i continue
• 57:59
  with maybe can you send it to 628th avenue manhattan new york 118 now i am okay with telling y'all this
• 58:09
  address because it is the new york times address
• 58:12
  yes so i asked him to send his penis picture to the new york times and then i continue here's some
• 58:19
  more inspiration for you time heals all wounds except the wounds of diabetes that he continues
• 58:26
  you live close we should meet i say will you bring your amputated leg with you we will need it he
• 58:31
  continues i do not think they will let me have my leg i will have what's left over for you to enjoy
• 58:38
  sweetie so the nub i think he's got him on a nub he's got the nub for i think he's talking about
• 58:42
  the nub i'm not totally sure thank you i guess i continue that's too bad maybe we can take your
• 58:48
  other leg maybe we can take your other leg with my table saw that i have in my kitchen
• 58:54
  i'm asking him to can we can amputate his other leg with a table saw i have in my kitchen he
• 58:59
  continues i do not think so please i will show up now if you would like i am horny this is hey man
• 59:05
  he's he went full send i respond to that you may be horny but you're definitely not leggy here's an
• 59:10
  inspirational quote for you don't judge a book by its cover unless it only has one cover that's weird
• 59:16
  and you can judge it then he continues you're wasting my time i respond to that with well at
• 59:21
  least the clock that you're telling time on has both its hands and uh he doesn't respond imagine
• 59:28
  that yeah even for this guy there's a limit he was incredibly direct and i kind of i kind of appreciate
• 59:33
  that you can respect that in the man i mean sometimes you gotta shoot your shot and not
• 59:36
  of insulin he's not shooting a shot of insulin because he's losing a leg because of diabetes
• 59:40
  i think what really stuck out to me in the message is the table saw he glossed right over that like
• 59:46
  he just said no i don't think i want to want to cut off my other leg but he didn't question
• 59:51
  why you wanted to or why i have a table saw in my kitchen he wanted to meet up but he knows that
• 59:56
  you want his other leg you think he still would have been on board if he knew you were 30 white
• 1:00:01
  male i don't know what if he what if he knew that we were three white males yeah what do you think
• 1:00:06
  he's still been on board then you think he holds to his guns pretty tightly about wanting a woman
• 1:00:11
  depends on how horny you are i guess i don't know but i inspired him or at least i tried to i don't
• 1:00:16
  know if he uh hey you did your you did nothing wrong things i just know that but also i like the
• 1:00:21
  thought that he actually sends a penis picture to the new york times like he actually sends it to
• 1:00:26
  that address that would be fended we have no way of knowing unfortunately if he actually did it but
• 1:00:30
  i like to think he did let's call our plug at the new york times yeah our contact our contact at the
• 1:00:36
  new york times but there you go moral of the story uh don't go on craigslist looking for sex it's not
• 1:00:40
  gonna work you're gonna end up with us just don't be a perv don't be hurt otherwise you'll end up
• 1:00:44
  with us and you'll be uh exposed on a podcast that's right if you go to craigslist looking for
• 1:00:51
  sex we will find you they'll seek you out and we will find you and what kind of guarantee is that
• 1:00:59
  that's a qd guarantee go ahead and stamp it for seven that's a qd guarantee uh but anyway you know
• 1:01:05
  we we had a lot of wisdom and inspiration in that last message thread but let's give let's give
• 1:01:10
  everybody a one-liner wisdom evan what you got dog may be man's best friend but that doesn't mean
• 1:01:15
  you should leave him alone with your car keys that's one of those keep his friends close but
• 1:01:20
  you need to be closer don't ever trust your dog not with your valuables you give a lot of dog
• 1:01:26
  wisdom all right alan one-liner wisdom for the folks well guys you can't get pulled over for
• 1:01:32
  driving the speed limit but you can't get pulled over for a double homicide so you're saying don't
• 1:01:38
  do a double homicide i'm just telling just the facts okay stating the facts one line one line
• 1:01:43
  that's all you get nothing more but there you go the classic qd wisdom but if you have a hypothetical
• 1:01:49
  you want us to you need some advice questionable detour podcast at gmail.com be one of the be one
• 1:01:54
  of the few in the proud that email us and get our wisdom and our hypothetical answers um but
• 1:01:59
  there you go you guys want to be done yeah like a like a monk church expect the detour