Latest / The Hypnotist / Hypnosis to Learn From Previous Social Regrets
Transcript
- 0:05Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
- 0:09access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
- 0:12genuine. Issues.
- 0:13Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
- 0:16celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
- 0:21recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
- 0:24famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
- 0:31enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
- 0:39Hi, it's Adam here and you're about to listen to a hypnosis
- 0:42session all about changing social behaviour.
- 0:46And I was working with a client that felt that they couldn't
- 0:49really pick up on certain cues and respond in the way that they
- 0:54would want in certain social situations.
- 0:57And sometimes that made them feel that they weren't living up
- 1:00to who the person that they wanted to be, and maybe they
- 1:03would disappoint people they care about around them.
- 1:06So this uses the control room of the mind metaphor, but in a
- 1:11specific way. It's a form of control room of
- 1:13the mind plus stage disassociation and partly the
- 1:17rewind technique as well, so that this client could see
- 1:21behaviour they either regretted or were embarrassed by, and then
- 1:25they could keep rewinding and changing it until they were
- 1:28happy with it and then associate into that resourceful feeling.
- 1:31So they could really wire it in and feel that way.
- 1:35But then also to experiment with the idea of having this ability
- 1:38to evaluate pitfalls, but also easy wins in real time.
- 1:44And again, that's all within this control room.
- 1:46So if you've ever had situations where you felt that you
- 1:49embarrassed yourself in social situations or you didn't speak
- 1:53up as much as you wanted, or you wanted to be a bit more
- 1:56confident and not so people pleasing, you might get some
- 1:59value from this session. Just be aware that some of the
- 2:03suggestions are very, very connected to the client that I
- 2:07was working with and that might not be relevant for you.
- 2:10They wanted to be more supportive and and encouraging
- 2:13and protective. It might be that you want
- 2:16something else. Maybe you just want more
- 2:17confidence or you want more playfulness in certain social
- 2:21situations, in which case you can just change and adapt that
- 2:24for you. And if you like the idea of a
- 2:27bespoke session entirely calibrated for you, have a look
- 2:31in the description for a link where we can have a free 30
- 2:35minute consultation call. We'll have a chat and maybe I
- 2:37actually end up working with you directly and and I become your
- 2:40hypnotherapist. For now though, find a quiet,
- 2:43comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.
- 2:45Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
- 3:14you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
- 3:19relaxation. And as you exhale, feel a
- 3:26wonderful sense of release, as if any tension, stress, or
- 3:32worries are leaving your body in your outward breath.
- 3:40And when you breathe in, just allow yourself to breathe in for
- 3:46slightly deeper than you normally would.
- 3:50And as you exhale, you can elongate the outward breath,
- 3:58breathing out maybe for twice as long as you normally would.
- 4:04And as you create that vacuum in the diaphragm, you're able to
- 4:09breathe in even deeper than you were before, each breath getting
- 4:15deeper than the last. But I want you to imagine
- 4:21breathing in a feeling of pure resourcefulness, breathing in
- 4:31the resourcefulness and exhaling any feelings of lack, of not
- 4:43being good enough. Just allow that so each breath
- 4:48makes you feel more worthy and more confident than the last.
- 4:56The deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you become, and the more
- 5:01relaxed you become, the deeper you breathe.
- 5:05And as your body relaxes, your imagination awakens.
- 5:14And I wonder if you could imagine a staircase that leads
- 5:18down to a room, and that room is a control panel for your mind.
- 5:28Let's just walk down this staircase, any staircase you
- 5:32like, a spiral staircase, a wooden staircase, or perhaps an
- 5:41opulent marble staircase leading down to this control room.
- 5:46And as I count downwards from 12:50, each descending number
- 5:53takes you deeper and deeper relaxed. 10 Taking that first
- 6:01step, just feeling a wave of relaxation from your forehead. 9
- 6:07loosening your jaw and eight, another step down the staircase.
- 6:13Just feel any muscles in your neck and shoulders that might be
- 6:17tense, just releasing that tension. 7 Just feel it going
- 6:25down now into your shoulders. And then 6.
- 6:28For your arms feeling limp, loose and heavy.
- 6:33And five, just imagine your internal organs all relaxing now
- 6:36halfway down the staircase. Four, that relaxation going into
- 6:42your gut, continuing to breathe in that distilled representation
- 6:49of worthiness that's in breathing in and breathing out.
- 6:55And then that 4 becomes 3 and just feel your legs feeling like
- 7:02your arms limp, loose, relaxed down into your calf muscles. 2
- 7:07and then one, even your toes can feel relaxed and then rippling
- 7:11up to the top of your head and down to your fingertips and
- 7:16zero. You are now at the bottom of
- 7:20that staircase and there is a short corridor that leads to a
- 7:26door, and behind that door is a control room.
- 7:32And this control room has the ability for you to make powerful
- 7:41changes to access more of those skills, resources, or abilities
- 7:48that you desire and to reduce anything that you don't.
- 7:55But standing in front of the door, I will count from 5:00 to
- 7:591:00. And imagine opening the door and
- 8:01walking into that control room. And you may see a futuristic
- 8:05control room, a mechanical control room.
- 8:11Maybe it has dashboards and gauges or something futuristic,
- 8:16intuitive. Just your thoughts.
- 8:18Control things 5. Putting your hand on the handle
- 8:234, turning the handle 3, opening the door, 2 walking through the
- 8:29door and one closing the door behind you.
- 8:33And imagine yourself in that control room and I want you to
- 8:37see a couple of dials. I want you to see a dial for
- 8:41confidence and just turn that up.
- 8:45And then I want you to see a dial for people pleasing, which
- 8:48may be too high, and just dial that down.
- 8:54And I want you to imagine there is a comfortable chair and a big
- 8:57screen. And this screen could look like
- 9:01a cinema screen or it could look like a high tech monitor or
- 9:07perhaps a very large flat screen TV.
- 9:12And this screen has the ability to not just observe memories,
- 9:19but to change them with all the wisdom, knowledge and creativity
- 9:24you now have. And I want you to think back to
- 9:30a specific memory where you came to the conclusion that your
- 9:37behaviour wasn't quite right. Maybe you were not protective
- 9:43enough, encouraging enough, supportive enough, or perhaps
- 9:48something else. I want you to imagine sitting on
- 9:52that chair, looking up at that screen, almost like you're
- 9:57taking the viewpoint of a documentary filmmaker that
- 10:01happened to be in that place at that time, and therefore you see
- 10:06yourself on the screen like an actor.
- 10:10You're simply the observer. And sometimes when you observe
- 10:15yourself like you're someone else, you can distill new
- 10:20insights and distinctions that were invisible at the time, and
- 10:26there is no requirement to remember it perfectly.
- 10:30Your unconscious will fill in the gaps in the same way that a
- 10:35dream feels like it's real, because your imagination fills
- 10:40in the gaps. That's what I want you to
- 10:45imagine. There you are, seeing what
- 10:48happened on the screen exactly as it was, and then perhaps it
- 10:55continues until you found out that what you did was somehow
- 11:02wrong, disrespectful, or not supportive enough, or something
- 11:06else. If you could imagine seeing that
- 11:12as it actually was, then play it again from a different angle.
- 11:20Just imagine a camera at a different place in the same
- 11:23room, maybe closer, maybe further away, until you get a
- 11:29clear representation of what happened and also what you would
- 11:35like to change. And once you've seen it as it
- 11:41was, let me know by nodding your head.
- 11:48And then imagine rewinding it. But this is the control room of
- 11:53your mind. You are the director here.
- 11:56And I want you to imagine Take 2, see yourself doing something
- 12:04else in that same situation that would have improved it, improved
- 12:08it for you, improved it for your relationship generally, knowing
- 12:13what you now know would have been a preferable version of
- 12:16what happened. But Take 2 isn't enough.
- 12:26Some of the great directors had 1020, sometimes 50 takes for the
- 12:32same scene. So I want you to imagine you
- 12:37keep rewinding it and playing it forward until you get exactly
- 12:45the right take. Maybe it's your mannerisms,
- 12:51maybe it's your tonality, maybe it's what you said or what you
- 12:55didn't say. Maybe it's being more vocal and
- 13:01supporting someone, or maybe not saying anything and just
- 13:06observing. But I want you to keep changing
- 13:10the takes until you found the perfect one, and then test that
- 13:17scenario out. Allow it to continue until you
- 13:22get that vote of reassurance from someone else's
- 13:31interpretation that if you did do that new thing in that same
- 13:36situation, their emotional evaluation would have been
- 13:42different. When you found like, you've got
- 13:46the right version. That's good for you and good for
- 13:50others at win win. Let me know by nodding your
- 13:54head. That's it.
- 13:59And then rewind it. And when it's at the beginning,
- 14:05I want you to see another dial that is sensory acuity, the
- 14:10ability to notice and observe what's going on.
- 14:16Not just your own feelings and other people's, but maybe even
- 14:21the facial expression and the cues from someone you care for.
- 14:27You dial up the sensory acuity and you dial up your
- 14:31self-confidence, people pleasing and poor boundaries.
- 14:37That's dialed all the way down. You can feel confident being the
- 14:41person you want to be. And when you've got all of that
- 14:45right with the right level of resources, step into the screen.
- 14:51And now just imagine it's the very beginning of what happened,
- 14:56but you are now in your own body.
- 15:00And from a first person perspective, I want you to feel
- 15:04that you're testing out two of your favorite scenarios to come
- 15:10to the conclusion which feels right, not just looks right.
- 15:18Try that first version, see how that feels, and then try the
- 15:23second and see how that feels. Just like you're trying on some
- 15:30clothes in a fitting room, but you're only going to choose one.
- 15:36And once you've chosen the best one and you imagine how it would
- 15:39feel to do those things, to say those things, to be that way and
- 15:44feel that way. And if it feels right, let me
- 15:48know about nodding your head. That's it.
- 15:52And then continue the rest. And then just see if the
- 15:59anticipated feedback observations change, and if it
- 16:06does, it's right. And if it doesn't, just go back
- 16:09and make it minor tweak, a change in amendment as you
- 16:15consider yourself like Goldilocks, but instead of three
- 16:19bowls of porridge, you've got 30.
- 16:22And you can keep trying the porridge until it's exactly the
- 16:26right one for you. So when you feel like you've got
- 16:30that updated version, I want you to feel that that is then
- 16:37updating your subconscious mind so that anything similar in the
- 16:44future will activate this version of you with this
- 16:51confidence, this level of sensory acuity, and this ability
- 16:59to do things on your terms in the way that you desire, but in
- 17:03full consideration of someone that you care for.
- 17:12Go back to the chair and then think of one more situation that
- 17:18perhaps required you to evaluate things in real time.
- 17:28Maybe it was a large social gathering, maybe something
- 17:32different. And again, see that on the
- 17:35screen as it was. But as the observer, you could
- 17:42imagine that there is additional information that you can pick up
- 17:46on. Things that feel safe, things
- 17:51that feel reasonable and OK or easy wins.
- 17:59Things you could do to let someone know that they are
- 18:03supported, they are respected, they are protected, and I want
- 18:14you to get a sense that there is a particular tone of voice and
- 18:21that has the ability to evaluate your options.
- 18:27What can I do here? What's the pitfall?
- 18:35And sometimes all it takes is to evaluate the pitfalls and avoid
- 18:41them and see those low hanging fruit, those easy wins, and pick
- 18:46them. And I wonder if that part of
- 18:52your mind would be willing to coach you to look for those easy
- 18:58wins and avoid those pitfalls. I just see that version of you
- 19:04on that screen in that same situation.
- 19:10We're making different choices based on what you're picking up
- 19:15and what you're observing in real time.
- 19:17And then rewind it, step into that version of you and feel how
- 19:24it would feel to go in armed with an inner coach, a warm
- 19:32encouraging voice, say you've got this, but it might nudge
- 19:39you. You could say wonderful things
- 19:45about that person to that group and it would get back to them
- 19:51and they would feel honoured and supported or.
- 20:01That person there seems quite arrogant, quite pushy.
- 20:06If that person says something rude, you could easily ask in a
- 20:14very firm, respectful way, what did they mean by that?
- 20:17And that would be you protecting and perceived to be protective.
- 20:27And if you could imagine that confident, encouraging voice
- 20:34guiding you in real time, let me know by nodding your head.
- 20:41And I want you to feel this is a cheat code, a way for you to
- 20:45have an edge. Because by training your brain
- 20:49on the past and feeling resourceful and empowered in the
- 20:54present, you get to avoid more of those pitfalls and pick more
- 21:02of those low hanging fruit, those easy wins to step into
- 21:10that feel what it would feel like in that dynamic with that
- 21:13voice encouraging you, guiding you, evaluating scenarios,
- 21:23things to avoid, things to be. I want you to imagine there is a
- 21:29dial that represents the resources of someone that you
- 21:32admire having those qualities. Picture their face and just
- 21:38imagine dialing up their resources in you in that same
- 21:42context. What it would feel like to
- 21:47emulate their way of being in certain situations for you.
- 21:55Dial that all the way up and feel how it would feel to be
- 22:00that way. And if this feels like it would
- 22:04be helpful, let me know. By nodding your head.
- 22:09That's it. And then you return to the
- 22:12chair, see the screen and now see images of your past.
- 22:22But you having the resources you would need.
- 22:26But also see yourself in the future.
- 22:30See yourself with more confidence, more sensory acuity,
- 22:35just noticing what you need to notice.
- 22:39But also the ability to protect. If someone needs protecting to
- 22:45encourage, if they need encourage to support, if they
- 22:47need supporting to not say anything, if it doesn't make
- 22:53sense to say anything at all, because you don't have to say
- 22:58something. You just could say something.
- 23:03And I want you to feel that your unconscious mind is going to
- 23:08extract wisdom from the past and consider anything in your future
- 23:13as reconnaissance. So you just get better and
- 23:17better and better. It's time to leave this control
- 23:24room. But I want you to see another
- 23:27dial that represents worthiness and just put that all the way up
- 23:31to 100 that you feel absolutely worthy.
- 23:36And then you leave the control room, You close the door, you
- 23:43walk up that same staircase, and then imagine floating all the
- 23:47way back to your present. Very soon I will count from 1:00
- 23:54to 10:00 to awaken you. And you will awaken feeling
- 23:56resourceful, confident, worthy, with almost like a software
- 24:02update to iron out the bugs of the past and install new
- 24:09strategies for the future. So take a deep breath in through
- 24:13your nose and out through your nose.
- 24:18Just wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate
- 24:22into the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
- 24:28awaken you. Starting to count 123 waking up
- 24:33456 more alert 7-8. Open your eyes.
- 24:37Open your eyes 910 Wide awake, Wide awake.
- 24:42Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
- 24:53on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
- 24:57And if you've enjoyed this show or got some benefit from it, you
- 25:02may know of one other friend or family member that may also
- 25:06benefit from this hypnosis session.
- 25:09In which case I'd like to ask a favour of you.
- 25:12And that is if you could spend 10 seconds to share this episode
- 25:17with someone that you know that may also benefit, that would
- 25:20really help me to access new people that don't already know
- 25:24about this show. Thank you very much for
- 25:27listening and I will see you again on the next episode.