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Living Without Fear - What To Do When You Wake Up Sad | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

• 0:12
  Welcome, my dear ones, to another episode of Living
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  Without Fear. This is my 135th solo episode
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  and I'm truly grateful you're here with me.
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  Thank you for taking this time for your heart, your inner
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  world, and your own healing journey.
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  There are mornings when I wake up and something inside feels
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  heavy, a fog, a kind of disorientation, something that
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  reminds me of a place I never want to return to.
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  I lived in that darkness for many years, with
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  antidepressants, countless therapy sessions, and the deep
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  fear that this state was simply my destiny.
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  I don't want to go back there and I know many of you feel the
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  same right now. Living in Switzerland at this
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  time of the year, the sky is often grey on grey, the days are
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  short, the rain rarely stops and the sun hides for what feels
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  like forever. And maybe it hits me hard this
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  year because I just came back from 2 warm golden weeks in
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  Egypt. Summer sun, light on my skin,
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  warmth in the air, everything my soul loves.
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  Our bodies remember that kind of light.
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  They hold it in their cells like a quiet treasure.
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  And when we return suddenly to coldness and dim skies, our
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  system needs time to adjust. It is not weakness.
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  It is simply nature. Our nervous system reacts to
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  contrast and sometimes all it asks for it's gentleness,
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  softness, understanding. No wonder my body protests a
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  little when it wakes up under a cold silver sky.
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  But these mornings, they don't mean I'm going backwards.
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  They are simply signals. And this episode is for all of
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  you who also live in places where winter can feel long and
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  colourless, because there are ways to move through it gently,
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  lovingly, without medication and without sinking into a dark hole
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  again. When I wake up with that first
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  uncomfortable feeling, I don't fight it anymore.
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  I place my hand on my heart and I whisper, I'm grateful.
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  I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm surrounded by people I love.
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  Sometimes that's enough, sometimes it's not.
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  And when the heaviness stays, I breathe, close my eyes and say,
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  I'm with you, Esther, it's OK, you've been through a lot and I
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  have. This year alone was a mountain.
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  Losing my mum, supporting my grieving father who didn't know
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  how to handle his emotions and often reacted harshly.
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  Taking care of his life, his pain, his belongings, cleaning
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  my parents house with my brother, dividing things that
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  carried memories, meaning, stories.
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  It was too much, and I handled so much of it alone because I
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  believed I had to be both modern father to myself, that as a
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  single woman I needed to carry everything.
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  So the first step when that morning sadness appears is
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  acknowledgement, a soft inner bowl to every part of me that
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  worked so hard to hold life together.
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  And the second step is movement. Not traumatic, not forced, just
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  movement. I don't let myself sink into the
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  bed or the thoughts. I start my routine like a quiet
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  promise to myself. I strengthen my body.
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  I listen to something that uplifts me.
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  I meditate for 20 minutes. I journal.
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  I have writes down what I am grateful for.
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  I asked myself what tiny action can I take today to uplift
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  myself and what I've noticed over the years in this.
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  These small rituals create an inner rhythm that holds me.
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  There is something sacred about repetition.
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  It is like telling my nervous system, you know this path, you
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  are safe, you are supported. And the more I return to these
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  habits, the quicker I find my way back to myself.
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  Even on the hardest mornings and if my day has no fixed schedule,
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  I do the most healing thing I know.
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  I put on my walking shoes, even if the sky breaks open with rain
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  and I disappear into the woods. The smell of the wet ground, the
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  whispering trees, the wind brushing through the branches.
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  Nature resets me and honestly, I have never returned home from
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  these walks feeling depressed. Nature clears my thoughts,
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  brings me back into my body and dissolves the greatness inside,
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  even if the world outside is still dim.
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  To nourish myself even more, I listen to Inspiring Voices,
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  podcasts that ignite hope, stories that remind me that life
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  is still beautiful, that I am still growing, still
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  discovering, still allowed to reinvent who I am.
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  And then something happened. Today, while I was preparing
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  this episode, my doorbell rang. A young woman stood there in the
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  rain asking for anything, money, clothes, some something for her
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  two children. She looked so lost and I felt
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  her pain immediately. I found a winter jacket I no
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  longer wear and some toys from my son's things I plan to bring
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  to the second hand store today. And when she put them into her
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  bag, she gave me a shy, fleeting smile.
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  A tiny light in the rain and my heart warmed.
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  I felt my entire stage shift. Sometimes the quickest way out
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  of our own heaviness is a simple act of kindness.
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  Maybe today, if you're feeling low, you could give a few coins,
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  buy someone a coffee, hold a door open with a smile, or let
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  someone go ahead of you in a queue.
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  Maybe you could send a little message to someone you love.
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  I'm thinking of you. I appreciate you, I love you.
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  Maybe you could check in with someone who's I'll, someone who
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  feels lonely, someone you haven't seen in a while.
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  And compassion doesn't always look grand.
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  Often it's the quiet gestures. A soft how are you really?
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  A warm Not to a stranger. A moment of patience when
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  someone moves slower, slower than you'd like.
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  These tiny threads of connection pull us gently back into life.
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  They remind us that we belong, that there is warmth in this
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  world, even when the sky is cold.
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  Whenever we turn our heart towards someone else, our own
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  weight becomes lighter. Here are a few more gentle ways
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  to lift your spirit. On Gray winter days, light a
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  candle and play music that reminds you of summer.
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  Take a warm bath with essential oils like orange or Jasmine.
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  Create a small ritual of beauty in your home.
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  A corner with fresh flowers, a soft blanket, a favorite poem.
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  Write a letter to your future self.
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  Dance for two minutes in your kitchen, even if you feel silly.
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  Learn something new, something tiny, like a phrase in another
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  language. Plan a trip or a Daydream
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  adventure. Call someone who makes you
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  smile. Cook something nourishing and
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  colourful. Declutter a single drawer and
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  feel the relief of space. Wrap yourself in a coat and step
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  outside for 10 breaths of real air.
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  The most important truth is this.
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  You can change your state, and when you do, everything you
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  touch that day changes with you. Your decisions, your energy,
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  your relationships, your purpose.
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  I couldn't do that years ago when I was depressed because I
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  didn't believe it was possible. I told myself the story that
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  depression lived in my family for generations and that I had
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  to live with it too. But that wasn't true.
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  The shift was never going to come from outside.
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  It always begins within. And my dear ones, if I was able
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  to change my life from deep depression to inner strength,
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  joy and emotional freedom, then you can too.
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  You are not stuck. You are not destined to stay in
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  the grey. You have power, gentle, soft,
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  real power to change your state moment by moment, breath by
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  breath. Thank you from my heart for
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  spending this time with me today.
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  If this episode touched something inside you, share it
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  with someone who might need a little light.
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  And remember, you're not alone on this journey.
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  You are stronger than you think and you carry so much beauty
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  inside. And if you feel called to go
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  deeper, to shift your state with more ease, or to transform
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  something that has been on your heart, you're warmly invited to
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  connect with me. You can book a free coaching
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  session through the link in the bio.
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  I would be honoured to walk a little part of your journey with
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  you. I send you love, courage and the
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  warm ray of sun for your day. Until next Thursday.