Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Why Love Wins 1/7: Think of Love As a Quiet Gangster That Always Has Your Back. Moves in the Shadows. Fights for You Daily. #MakingMovesMonday

Transcript

Why Love Wins 1/7: Think of Love As a Quiet Gangster That Always Has Your Back. Moves in the Shadows. Fights for You Daily. #MakingMovesMonday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Blessings and greetings, welcome, welcome to the Sweet Spot.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Making Moves Monday and I am extremely excited you're here with me this Monday.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I trust you had a good weekend, a solid weekend.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I know, sometimes the weekends can be a little rough, but look, you've made it to Monday and we're going to make some moves.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: As you know, I'm a board certified psychiatrist who specializes in high performance, but more than that, I am your fellow traveler this week as we embark on yet another profound journey here on the Sweet Spot.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: This week we're journeying into the heart of the human experience, exploring what it truly means to be love.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, love.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You know we often talk about love as a feeling, something that happens to us, something that is in our heart or we experience as a grand romantic gesture.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: But what if love wasn't only about that?
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: But what if love is actually the most powerful active choice we could make, make a living, breathing force that's right there with us through every single season of life?
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: What if it's much more than the love song, much more than the flowers and the chocolates and all the other good stuff that we get on Valentine's Day?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: What if love is a force and a choice, a weapon and a shield.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: That's what we're here to discover this week, my friends and I believe this series is so vital because it's the ultimate game changer if we can access the deepest and truest power of love.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I know we did a series on the secret sauce about two weeks ago and you should check it out, but I'm going to say this today Love is the secret sauce.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Ultimately, love is the secret sauce that transforms our challenges into opportunities, our anxieties into a fuel that helps us grow, and our deepest desires can be transformed by love into a tangible reality.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Love has power and for those of you who are high performers, athletes, executives, those people who live under immense stress, it's not just about discipline and strategy.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: It's about the deep, fierce love for what you do, the love for your mission and the love for your own potential turning into kinetic energy that makes you unstoppable.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: It's love, my friends.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: It is love that's the secret weapon under it all.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: If you can master it, if you can access it and if you really believe in it, boy, do we have something here for you this week.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: For all of us, love is the fundamental connection that heals us, empowers us and guides us through even the most difficult moments.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I guarantee you that if you stick with me on this Making Moves Monday and you go alongside me as we kick off this journey by looking at how love is not just a passive emotion but the most powerful action you can take, you're going to be blessed and enlightened.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I know I was, as I prepared to bring this message of love to you.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Together, my friends, we're going to explore this week how choosing to be love is your first, most courageous step towards everything you want to achieve, and how love informs every single move you make.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: It's Making Moves Monday, and so I've got to bring it there.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Love is tied into the real moves that you're going to make.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Making your move in love sets you up to be a winner, and the ancient wisdom instructs us to do this.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: In the ancient wisdom it says let all that you do be done in love.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Literally, that's in the ancient wisdom, it's in the word, it's in the Bible.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: It's 1 Corinthians 16, verse 14.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Let all that you do be done in love.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: So look, it's Making Moves Monday, and when we say that we are action-oriented, our minds jump to what external actions do we have to do?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Do we have to set a goal?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Do we have to send an email?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Do we have we have to do?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Do we have to set a goal?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Do we have to send an email?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Do we have to hit the gym?
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Do we have to get out of bed?
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Do we have to face and fight dragons and tigers and bears and lions?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's all about Monday and all of that is important, but I want to propose today something a little different that the most impactful move you can make today is an internal move, not an external one, an internal one, the conscious decision internally to approach whatever you're going to do today not from a place of doing it, but from a place of love, before you even take the action, before you make the move.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Because here's the truth, my friend Often what stops us from making really powerful moves and puts us in the direction of making small sort of non-consequential moves, hesitant moves, is fear, the heavy hand of fear.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Fear, if left unchecked, can stop us from making moves, and fear is like the opposite of love or the distorter of love.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: You know what fear does it can masquerade as love, twisting itself into something that it's not, and you know how.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: You know that Fear can manifest as attachment and make you think that love is about attachment, and then you end up with sort of these love relationships where you're trying to control or possess the person that you love rather than having an open, free, adult-to-adult relationship.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Love can be manipulated by fear and be distorted by fear and create paralyzing anxiety, keeping us from taking risks paralyzing anxiety, keeping us from taking risks.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Or, worse, it can erupt into a violent jealousy, all in the name of quote-unquote love.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: But it's really fear that's causing the jealousy and that's born from insecurity rather than a genuine affection.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: So when you see possession overly attached individuals, possession overly attached individuals, clinging, just trying to control everything, that's not love, that's fear.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And when fear leads, love becomes stifled, it becomes distorted and it becomes a bit of a disaster.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: It becomes a weight, it becomes heavy.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: But when we choose to be love, we confront fear head-on.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: We allow the power of love to guide our actions.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Instead, when we are conscious and we walk and move in real love, in true love you know that song?
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for a real love, baby.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: We need the real love.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And listen, we talked about relationships that can be a little bit tricky, where people get possessive and they distort love.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Grief is another thing that can distort love.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Grief is perhaps the most profound cost of love.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't even say it distorts it, it's the cost of love when we experienced deep loss.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I lost my dad in 2020, and I'll tell you, I'm still feeling that pain five years later, as if it's totally fresh.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: His picture is sitting right next to me as I make this recording to you.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: When we experience deep loss, the end of a relationship, the passing of somebody we deeply, deeply, deeply love, the shattering of what was the most beautiful, amazing relationship, even if it wasn't the most beautiful and the most amazing, the fact that it's gone, our hearts are broken and we feel empty because we have loved and we have tasted love, and sometimes we can get really bitter and really angry and not want to love again, and that's where the distortion comes in.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: But that's not weakness.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: The fact that we feel that level of pain and that level of emptiness and hurt.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: It's a testament to the depth of our capacity to love and connect and how deeply attached we were or are to that individual.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: In these moments, the move we must make is to learn to live with that new reality.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I'm learning to live with the reality that my dad is no longer physically with me, but I'm learning to also integrate the loss of him and his presence, his physical presence, without letting it consume me as much.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: When I do this, when we do this, when we lose someone, it's a move of radical acceptance, and that acceptance that we're saying is not weak.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: We're not passively just accepting it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: It's a rugged choice we're making that our love is going to endure and it's going to stay present, no matter how far away that individual is from us, even in their absence.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: It's rugged.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's the rugged love that we have that allows us to find a path forward.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: It's actually love, not despite the grief, but love through the grief that's getting us through, because love, true love, real love, is incredibly rugged.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And when you understand that, when you feel that, when you've had to deal with loss and difficulties, you realize how rugged love really is.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: It's not fragile at all.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: It's one of the most resilient forces we could ever, ever, ever have, and we would do well to master it.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: It's what gives us the profound ability to forgive someone that has truly hurt us.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Think about how hard that is to forgive someone.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Only love can take an enemy and turn them into a friend.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And it's not just about forgiving others.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard to forgive ourselves and remember.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Forgiveness is not about just condoning.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: It's about choosing to release the burden, allowing us to make new moves, instead of being anchored to passers and holding on to things that just shrink us and hurt us.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Do you know that cancer and heart disease and many other diseases are linked to unforgiveness?
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: That's a whole other talk we have to give, but just keep in mind that sometimes the forgiveness is not just for the other person.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's for us too, to let go and to be able to breathe.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So that's what I mean when I say love is rugged.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: This rugged love also supplies us with a relentless passion, and this is for people who are athletes, performers, artists, innovators, whatever.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: You can be unstoppable and passionate because you love what you do.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: When you tie in more to the love of your craft, you're not just in it for the money.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: You're not just in it for the money.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: You're not just in it for the fame or the applause.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: The real Gs are driven not by external factors, but by an unshakable love for what they do, for the process, for the sheer joy of playing this game, for the sheer joy of performing on this stage for the sheer joy.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: For the sheer joy of performing on this stage, for the sheer joy, for the actual joy of just being the one in charge doing this job.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: How do you beat someone who is powered by pure passion?
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: How do you beat someone who is powered by love?
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I once worked with a boxer and he told me that one of the reasons he's basically an undefeated champion at his weight class was that he loved boxing.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: He didn't care about the money or the title, he just loved it.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: So it didn't matter how many times he got hit, how many times he went down to the floor.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: This dude just loved this thing so much that you couldn't get rid of him.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: How do you beat someone who is powered by pure passion, who lives and breathes their sport, their art, their mission?
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: They're relentless, they're hard to beat because their deepest move is fueled by a profound love for what they do, and you can't take that away from them.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: When somebody loves what they do, you have a problem with that person because they're doing it for the love, this love that I'm talking about.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: It transforms a grueling practice that you have to go to into your purpose.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It turns the late nights that you have to sacrifice into a badge of honor because you're dedicated to what you do.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: It takes the setbacks and turns it into a fuel that even makes us more fierce about coming back.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Do you get it?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: So here we are on Make your Moves Monday, talking about the ultimate move, the ultimate move which is choosing to be loved, and I want to introduce you to an idea that might surprise you, but one that I find incredibly empowering.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Love is a quiet gangster, and I do mean gangster.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Think about it.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Love is not afraid of anything.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Love is loyal to a fault.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Love never backs down, not from challenges, not from darkness, not from insults, not from setbacks.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Love doesn't flinch in the face of sickness and, ultimately, it doesn't fear death.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Not even death stops love.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: And when you're truly steeped in love, and especially when you're operating in divine love, the love of the most high, the love of God, listen you have tapped into a unique ability to transcend anything that this world throws at you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You're fearless.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: That's the secret.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Is more love, the perfect love casts all the fear out.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: You see, this is the profound wisdom that the elders know.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I watch my mom and my aunts and my uncles and the elders in our family and how they live an enlightened life, how they're so unafraid of things.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: When you embody love, you're beyond the things that the world worries about, literally.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: You're beyond anxieties.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: You're beyond the things that the world worries about Literally.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: You're beyond anxieties.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: You're beyond the petty nonsense, the concerns that derail so many people.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Because love, as we're reminded in 1 Corinthians and you've heard this at almost every wedding you've been to, almost every wedding you've been to but it's like super gangster stuff.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Love is patient, it's kind, love does not envy, it doesn't even boast, it's not proud, it doesn't dishonor people, it's not self-seeking, it's not arrogant, it's not easily angered, it's not easily provoked.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: It doesn't keep a record of wrongs.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Think about, it keeps no record of wrongs.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: You know hard that is.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: That is totally gangster to me.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: It doesn't like delight in evil and bringing people down.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: It rejoices only in the truth.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: It always protects.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: The ancient wisdom says it always trusts, because you can't have love and not have trust.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: It always hopes and it always perseveres.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: It didn't say it protects, sometimes when it's in a good mood.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Oh no, it doesn't say.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It sometimes is trusting, it always trusts, it always protects and it always hopes.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Love is a gangster.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you that's tough.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Think about how hard it is for me for you to be always not keeping a record of wrong, or always being hopeful, or always trusting, being so patient.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: And you know, what makes it a super gangster to me Is that it incorporates hope and faith.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hope and faith are tied into love when you really dissect it, but it moves beyond them too, to a place of divine understanding, transcendent living.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Hope and faith aren't enough for love.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Love goes beyond it.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: It's a perspective shift that, look, you can have hope, faith and love.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: The ancient wisdom says I'll quote it 1 Corinthians 13, 13.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: And now these three remain faith, hope and love.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: But the greatest of these is love.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: That's just gangster.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: This isn't just about what you feel.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: It's about who and how you are, who you're going to be.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: It's a state of being that redefines our reality, man.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: It's redefining who we are, our capacity to act, our ability to connect.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: To connect, love is literally a power that doesn't bow to the things that the world would have us bow to.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: It doesn't react in the same way that regular people who don't know love react.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: The great poet Rumi knew this when he famously said love is the bridge between you and everything.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Love is the bridge between you and everything.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: There's another great quote that's just coming to me right now that we should not hide our wounds, because the wound is where the light comes in.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Even with that, love has a way of taking your wound and using your wound to heal.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: And, as the great Dr Martin Luther King reminded us, darkness cannot drive out darkness.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Only light can do that.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Hate cannot drive out hate.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: You know what drives out hate?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: According to Dr King, only love can do that, because love is that active force, that light that empowers us to make the moves that are truly transformative.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: So, here on Making Moves Monday, this is your call to action today I want you to walk in love.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I want you to look in the mirror and see love.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I want you to say it to yourself I love you and you look in the mirror in the morning.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Say it five times.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Look yourself in the eye.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Start the day with that.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Set the tone so that you can be love.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Identify one small move you've been putting off.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Also, and before you take it, pause and take a deep breath.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: In fact, take a deep breath right now, if you can, because sometimes we forget that just the ability to take that breath in is an act of love.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Somewhere, some being loves us that allows us to breathe Love.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Somewhere some being loves us that allows us to breathe.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Take that pause before you do any action today on Making Moves Monday, and consciously choose to be love in the moment before you take the action, whatever that means to you, whether it's self-compassion, patience, a fierce dedication, a pure joy.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Remember, love is rugged.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: It's patient, it's kind, but it's also rugged.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: It faces things.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: It doesn't back down from things.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: It doesn't run from anything.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: When you walk in that level of consciousness, I want you to shift your actions, because now you're fueled by an intention.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: You are intentionally going to be loved today, and let this be your affirmation for the day, and then we'll close.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I am love and every move I make today is guided by the powerful transformative energy that love gives me.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: My actions today, my moves today, are going to flow from a place of love.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Somebody blows the horn too loud.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: I'm driving, eh, I love you.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: All right, it's raining outside, hey the plants are being watered.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Ah, that's love.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: All right, I didn't get this job or I didn't get this promotion.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: There'll be plenty more.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Somebody said something that's annoying to me.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to breathe, I'm going to let go.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be loved.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be patient, I'm going to be kind.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep a record of wrongs today.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: I'm going to just be loved.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I am so grateful that you spent all this time with me.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: This wonderful Making Moves Monday, as we take our first step in the journey of being love.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: It's a privilege to share this space with you, my friend.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Please join me tomorrow on Take Action Tuesday, where we'll delve even deeper into how love empowers consistent, meaningful action in our lives.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: You know, it's one thing to decide to make your move in love, it's another thing to have your actions reflect love.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Until then, beautiful soul, keep choosing love, keep making moves and, most importantly, keep being the embodiment of love, love and blessings.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: See you tomorrow.