Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Victim mentality, how to get out of it! 💪
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Apoday production.
- 0:10Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
- 0:13Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
- 0:16Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
- 0:19Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome
- 0:25Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
- 0:28Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
- 0:31Speaker 2: up together. Let's go deep, let the.
- 0:33Speaker 1: Emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and glow.
- 0:36Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and
- 0:38Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander.
- 0:43Speaker 2: Hello, guys, welcome back to Grand Glow.
- 0:50Speaker 1: Why are we so weird?
- 0:51Speaker 2: Whacky Wednesday?
- 0:52Speaker 1: Whacky Wednesday? Today we're talking about victim mentality. Yeah, something
- 0:57Speaker 1: that we're definitely I feel all have fallen into at
- 1:01Speaker 1: some point in our lives, maybe some more than others.
- 1:04Speaker 1: And listen to this. You might think of people in
- 1:06Speaker 1: your life that really it's their emotional home and they
- 1:09Speaker 1: go to But let's get straight into it. Yeah, So
- 1:13Speaker 1: someone who is in victim mentality is someone that's just
- 1:17Speaker 1: always the victim. Like life's always hard, things are always
- 1:20Speaker 1: going wrong, the glass is half empty. They haven't found
- 1:25Speaker 1: a way to be more positive and to find the
- 1:28Speaker 1: lessons and to grow through the hard times. They just
- 1:31Speaker 1: think life is just always hard for them, and they
- 1:33Speaker 1: have it harder than anywhere else, and it's a really unhealthy, miserable,
- 1:37Speaker 1: sad place if that is your emotional home. Yeah, Like
- 1:40Speaker 1: we all have moments of feeling like a victim, and
- 1:42Speaker 1: sometimes you are victimized. But the key is to be
- 1:45Speaker 1: able to feel all and then know when to move
- 1:48Speaker 1: through it and not let it drag on too much,
- 1:49Speaker 1: because otherwise it really is a low vibration. Like you
- 1:52Speaker 1: just don't feel happy, you don't feel good, you don't
- 1:53Speaker 1: feel a lie, you can't you lose your power, you
- 1:56Speaker 1: don't take steps to move forward and grow.
- 1:59Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, when I think of someone in victim mentality,
- 2:02Speaker 2: I think of somebody who struggles to look things from
- 2:05Speaker 2: a different perspective. I think it's someone that they see
- 2:08Speaker 2: what's happened and they don't actually look at the facts
- 2:11Speaker 2: of the situation and go like, Okay, what's actually really
- 2:14Speaker 2: going on here or how did I play a part
- 2:16Speaker 2: in this? It's also like taking a bit of account
- 2:18Speaker 2: of responsibility. Yeah, So for me, it's just somebody who's
- 2:22Speaker 2: really kind of shut off and like this is the
- 2:23Speaker 2: way it is and that's why it is and blah
- 2:25Speaker 2: blah blah, poor me, yea, rather than being like, oh,
- 2:27Speaker 2: maybe they did it because I did that, or maybe
- 2:29Speaker 2: that happened that way because of this, or you know,
- 2:31Speaker 2: trying to have compassion and see things from another angle.
- 2:34Speaker 1: They really blame a lot too. They blame other people,
- 2:37Speaker 1: they blame outside situations, they blame their environment, they blame
- 2:41Speaker 1: their past a lot. And this was me to a
- 2:44Speaker 1: tea growing up in my teenage years, even early twenties.
- 2:50Speaker 1: It wasn't until I started in my self development journey
- 2:52Speaker 1: and did my first Tony Robins course that I realized
- 2:56Speaker 1: what a victim I was like in my whole life.
- 2:59Speaker 1: I just remember being such a victim, and I think
- 3:01Speaker 1: it kind of served me in a way because I
- 3:03Speaker 1: felt like, as a kid in his teenager I didn't
- 3:06Speaker 1: get much significance or love or attention from my home life.
- 3:11Speaker 1: So that kind of got that outside of it. And
- 3:13Speaker 1: as humans, we know we have human needs and one
- 3:16Speaker 1: of them is for significance. Love and connection is a
- 3:18Speaker 1: huge one. So that kind of got me that because
- 3:21Speaker 1: of being a victim, so it served me until it didn't.
- 3:23Speaker 1: And once I realized this is how I was getting
- 3:25Speaker 1: my love and connection, it didn't make the love and
- 3:27Speaker 1: connection feel nice anymore. I've realized it's not how I
- 3:30Speaker 1: wanted to get it. But yeah, I was always a victim.
- 3:32Speaker 1: Like my real father didn't want me, my stepdad was abusive,
- 3:35Speaker 1: we never had any money. We're always moving because my
- 3:38Speaker 1: stepdad was getting fired. I never could like find secure friends.
- 3:41Speaker 1: I was unlucky. Everyone else had it easy, Like these
- 3:44Speaker 1: are the kind of stories I would tell myself and
- 3:46Speaker 1: language I would use, So of course I'm going to
- 3:48Speaker 1: attract more of that hardness. I never attracted light and
- 3:51Speaker 1: good friends and abundance of money because that's where I
- 3:54Speaker 1: was sitting at in my vibration, my frequency. So when
- 3:58Speaker 1: I did the first Tony Robins course I did when
- 4:00Speaker 1: I was like twenty, we did a whole day on
- 4:02Speaker 1: like the bullshit stories that we tell ourselves and how
- 4:04Speaker 1: it holds us and learn all about the victim mentality,
- 4:07Speaker 1: and it was just like this huge light bulb won't
- 4:09Speaker 1: for me. I was like, oh my goodness, this is
- 4:12Speaker 1: literally how you've been living your life. And from that
- 4:14Speaker 1: day forward it was just like change my life so good,
- 4:17Speaker 1: And I still allow moments to be a victim and
- 4:21Speaker 1: to feel like a victim, like whether I call you
- 4:22Speaker 1: or have event to Steve and I'm just like oh
- 4:24Speaker 1: this person said this and it sucks, or like fuck,
- 4:27Speaker 1: this has happening again. But I won't sit there. Yeah,
- 4:30Speaker 1: I have that moment and then I'm like, flick the switch.
- 4:33Speaker 1: I need to move through it because I don't want
- 4:34Speaker 1: that to become my emotional home. That doesn't serve me,
- 4:36Speaker 1: It doesn't help me. What does it do. It literally
- 4:39Speaker 1: does nothing but bring me pain and frustration and keep
- 4:42Speaker 1: me feeling stuck. Definitely, So we're not here to judge anyone.
- 4:46Speaker 1: If you are feeling victimized and you're in that moment
- 4:48Speaker 1: right now, it is quite a difficult skill to learn
- 4:50Speaker 1: how to move through it and move through it quickly
- 4:52Speaker 1: and effectively.
- 4:54Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was in victim mentality not all that
- 4:58Speaker 2: long ago. If you guys, listen to our mystery episode
- 5:01Speaker 2: that we did with Katie, which was such a banger episode,
- 5:04Speaker 2: So if you haven't listened to it, you sho go
- 5:05Speaker 2: listen to it after this one.
- 5:06Speaker 1: That was interesting.
- 5:07Speaker 2: It was a banger. We need to do another one
- 5:09Speaker 2: of those. But basically I spoke about the season that
- 5:13Speaker 2: I went through right after I had the falling out
- 5:15Speaker 2: with my parents, and how I was heavily drinking and
- 5:18Speaker 2: I was really fixating on everything that happened. And that's
- 5:22Speaker 2: a big sign that you're in victim mentality if you
- 5:25Speaker 2: are really fixating on something and not able to get
- 5:28Speaker 2: it out of your mind and constantly reliving it in
- 5:30Speaker 2: your brain. And it was just such an awful way
- 5:32Speaker 2: to live the first few months. I feel like there
- 5:34Speaker 2: was a lot of blame. There was a lot of
- 5:36Speaker 2: me being angry and just holding no compassion because I
- 5:38Speaker 2: was just I need to sit in my shit for
- 5:40Speaker 2: a bit, but I sat in it for too long.
- 5:42Speaker 2: I feel like, and now like when I speak about
- 5:46Speaker 2: certain things, like I have so much more compassion. I
- 5:48Speaker 2: can understand that the way things have triggered certain people
- 5:50Speaker 2: and the way things have unraveled the way that they have,
- 5:52Speaker 2: and I feel like I just don't have that like anger.
- 5:55Speaker 2: And also I guess I hold accountability for my part
- 5:58Speaker 2: and everything because it always is that way, like everyone
- 6:00Speaker 2: plays a part, everyone has their own thing going on.
- 6:03Speaker 2: But yeah, that victim mentality place that I was in
- 6:06Speaker 2: so low, so dark, so just shit, sorry to think
- 6:13Speaker 2: of a nice word. It was just soit shit, like
- 6:16Speaker 2: literally like flying all the time for me, and like, yeah,
- 6:19Speaker 2: I didn't have my family most of my family at
- 6:21Speaker 2: my wedding and like that was fuck, it was shit.
- 6:23Speaker 2: But like I just numbed the fuck out victim mentality
- 6:26Speaker 2: drank it away and like, holy shit, I could handled
- 6:29Speaker 2: it so much better. But I feel like after that
- 6:31Speaker 2: happened was when so much of my healing and growth began.
- 6:34Speaker 2: So before that, I hadn't gone and see psychologist. I
- 6:37Speaker 2: hadn't gone and seen coaches. I didn't have any of
- 6:39Speaker 2: the tools. So sometimes it's all getting pushed like once
- 6:42Speaker 2: you're in that bad space, the break down, it was
- 6:45Speaker 2: right before the breakthrough, and it's so true. So yeah,
- 6:49Speaker 2: I feel like I did like bits and piece of healing,
- 6:50Speaker 2: but I never went deep dive. And after that happened,
- 6:53Speaker 2: I was like, whoa, this is the time. But yeah,
- 6:57Speaker 2: we're here, like we're owning our times, we're owning our shit,
- 6:59Speaker 2: and it's okay if you're in a moment right now
- 7:02Speaker 2: or if you have been, and we've gotta also hold
- 7:05Speaker 2: passion for ourselves and just try to get out of it.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like what really helped me was that
- 7:10Speaker 1: taking responsibility. So I feel like it's so easy to
- 7:13Speaker 1: blame other people. And I did just blame my step
- 7:16Speaker 1: bad so much. I was like, he told me how
- 7:18Speaker 1: done my war was. Like he abused me, he never
- 7:21Speaker 1: loved me, he never made me feel safe, and like
- 7:24Speaker 1: that is all true. And I was victimized for sure
- 7:27Speaker 1: as a young girl that wasn't enjoyable or fun or right.
- 7:31Speaker 1: But it gets to a point and it's like, well
- 7:34Speaker 1: that was my past, but my past doesn't have to
- 7:37Speaker 1: define my future. Yeah, and I'm a grown us adult now,
- 7:40Speaker 1: Like this is my responsibility to create a life that
- 7:44Speaker 1: I really love and to choose a man that's a
- 7:46Speaker 1: beautiful father to my children, and to choose a man
- 7:48Speaker 1: that treats me right, and to show myself and prove
- 7:52Speaker 1: myself that I'm not dumb, that I am lovable. Everything
- 7:55Speaker 1: he said, Like if I was to believe him and
- 7:57Speaker 1: blame him, I would just continue living to think that
- 8:00Speaker 1: I'm not worthy of love, I'm not worthy of a
- 8:02Speaker 1: good career, I'm not worthy of money. All those things
- 8:04Speaker 1: used to tell me. But it was like that moment
- 8:06Speaker 1: I was like, no, it's my life. I'm going to
- 8:08Speaker 1: live my life and have you control it. And it
- 8:11Speaker 1: wasn't even really like it can't control it's my choice
- 8:13Speaker 1: what I take on. But you know, when you're going
- 8:16Speaker 1: through that as a young teenager, you just don't have
- 8:18Speaker 1: that awareness, You don't have that knowledge. And I was
- 8:19Speaker 1: taught you this. This is the kind of stuff I
- 8:21Speaker 1: wish they taught in school because I feel like it
- 8:23Speaker 1: would be so much nicer if you didn't have to
- 8:25Speaker 1: go through all that pain as a young adult. We
- 8:28Speaker 1: learned that from an earlier stage, Like things we're going
- 8:30Speaker 1: to teach our kids, I think it will minimize and
- 8:32Speaker 1: take away a lot of the pain that we had
- 8:34Speaker 1: to go through. And it's all beautiful and happens for
- 8:36Speaker 1: the right reasons. And I'm so grateful for my journey
- 8:38Speaker 1: because it's led me to be here today and be
- 8:40Speaker 1: able to talk about this and have a story to share.
- 8:42Speaker 1: But taking responsibility is truly what stepped me out of
- 8:46Speaker 1: victim mentality. And if I ever slip back in there,
- 8:49Speaker 1: which I do once again, it's taking responsibility like hey,
- 8:52Speaker 1: well shit, that fucked that happen, or that's really not
- 8:55Speaker 1: what I had planned or man, I can't believe they
- 8:57Speaker 1: said that this has happened. But what am I going
- 8:59Speaker 1: to do with it? How am I going to perceive it?
- 9:01Speaker 1: How am I going to look at? What's the meaning
- 9:02Speaker 1: I'm going to put onto it? Because there's many as
- 9:05Speaker 1: you can put into a situation. You can blame, you
- 9:07Speaker 1: can make up this story, you can assume over here,
- 9:10Speaker 1: but you actually get to decide how you view it.
- 9:13Speaker 1: And it can be positive and empowering or it can
- 9:15Speaker 1: be victim and negative and shit, yeah, so much choice
- 9:20Speaker 1: in there.
- 9:20Speaker 2: So should we go through the signs of being in
- 9:22Speaker 2: victim mentality? Okay, so first up, we have got stating
- 9:27Speaker 2: that people are better off without them. Oh yeah, so
- 9:31Speaker 2: saying you're better off without me.
- 9:33Speaker 1: Yeah, And when someone says that, now, like you can
- 9:38Speaker 1: straight away see there in victim mentality and you can
- 9:40Speaker 1: have so much compassion love, But I also just want
- 9:42Speaker 1: to be like come on, like shake you, like no,
- 9:45Speaker 1: get out of that, Like you're better than that, come on,
- 9:48Speaker 1: let's do it, like no, yeah, we're not going down
- 9:51Speaker 1: that path. We're going over here. We're going uphill together.
- 9:54Speaker 2: The next one is dramatizing insignificant events. So if things
- 9:59Speaker 2: aren't really that big, making mountains out of molehills. Yeah,
- 10:03Speaker 2: making big deals out of things that aren't really a
- 10:05Speaker 2: big deal.
- 10:06Speaker 1: Because once again, that gains some significance, and it gains
- 10:09Speaker 1: them probably loving connection because people will be like, oh
- 10:11Speaker 1: my god, that happened to you, so true, so wow
- 10:14Speaker 1: are you poor thing? You poor thing?
- 10:17Speaker 2: They feel love from it, They get love.
- 10:19Speaker 1: And they get significance. It reconfirms the victim. I know
- 10:23Speaker 1: it was so fucking hard, like yeah, poor me. Fuck yeah,
- 10:27Speaker 1: and then they think like, you know, no one else
- 10:28Speaker 1: has been through that, Like you're also just so in
- 10:31Speaker 1: your own head right when you're a victim because you
- 10:33Speaker 1: think you're the only one that's gone through that. No
- 10:35Speaker 1: one understands like poor me. In today, like most people
- 10:39Speaker 1: have been through something really fucking hard or traumatic, all
- 10:42Speaker 1: the navigating something like that, and they do get it
- 10:44Speaker 1: to a certain degree, it's just looks different for them. Yeah.
- 10:48Speaker 2: Next one is learned helplessness, So feeling like you cannot
- 10:52Speaker 2: do anything to get out of the spot that you're in.
- 10:54Speaker 2: I'm helpless, I can't do this, Like yep, that's it,
- 10:56Speaker 2: Like this happens, that's it. The whole day's over. Dropping
- 10:59Speaker 2: the coffee, the day is fucked. Days fun love your coffee. Coffee. Yeah,
- 11:06Speaker 2: rather than be like, oh whoops, see there we go,
- 11:07Speaker 2: they're just like as soon as one little thing happens,
- 11:09Speaker 2: it just triggers their day to just spiral.
- 11:13Speaker 1: And you give all your power away them. I know
- 11:15Speaker 1: that's what you do when you drop into victim mentality.
- 11:17Speaker 1: All your power is gone. You can take it back
- 11:19Speaker 1: at any point in time. That's so true. I actually
- 11:21Speaker 1: love that coffee reference because it's like, if you were like,
- 11:24Speaker 1: oh fuck my coffee, blah blah blah, and being in
- 11:26Speaker 1: that energy, guess what you're probably gonna trip over you
- 11:29Speaker 1: drop a glass. It's spirals because that's what you're attracting. Yeah,
- 11:32Speaker 1: I so believe in energy.
- 11:34Speaker 2: Flustered and like, oh, rigid movements, you're.
- 11:38Speaker 1: Not flowing and trusting and just like yeah, oops, spit
- 11:41Speaker 1: that that's what you're gonna attract more of because it's
- 11:43Speaker 1: so aware of the energy.
- 11:45Speaker 2: So aware. It's like even yesterday we were stuck in
- 11:47Speaker 2: traffic and like went the wrong way and always happened,
- 11:48Speaker 2: and I said to actually, whenever this happens, I just
- 11:50Speaker 2: trust to see it's keeping us safe, they could have
- 11:53Speaker 2: been a car crash at least could have happened, that
- 11:54Speaker 2: could have happened, and.
- 11:55Speaker 1: Wrong place, wrong time.
- 11:57Speaker 2: Yeah, but then yeah, like I've been in moments in
- 11:59Speaker 2: life where I've been like, oh, so frustrating, I'm stuck
- 12:01Speaker 2: in traffing, you know. So the next one is lack
- 12:04Speaker 2: of empathy, So not having empathy for other people and
- 12:07Speaker 2: considering their feelings, just being poor me all in your
- 12:11Speaker 2: own head, on your own head. Yeah.
- 12:13Speaker 1: I don't want to say it's selfish to be victim,
- 12:15Speaker 1: but sometimes if you're living in there all the time,
- 12:16Speaker 1: it is a little bits.
- 12:17Speaker 2: A little bit yeah, self centered.
- 12:19Speaker 1: Self centered, that's a nicer word.
- 12:21Speaker 2: You're doing everything around yourself, Yeah, and not thinking about
- 12:25Speaker 2: how the other people might be feeling, or even acknowledging
- 12:28Speaker 2: that they might be having a horrible experience because yours
- 12:31Speaker 2: are so much worse off you can't even see that,
- 12:33Speaker 2: or a hard day. So like if they're a bit
- 12:35Speaker 2: reactive and you're like, oh you always talking, know this,
- 12:36Speaker 2: like they might be having a you know, just having
- 12:39Speaker 2: compassion empathy for others. Low self esteem, Yeah, definitely.
- 12:46Speaker 1: A lot a lot of self worth is there in
- 12:48Speaker 1: victims when they're living in victim mentality. You don't think
- 12:51Speaker 1: you're worthy, you don't think you're deserving of anything. N
- 12:54Speaker 1: that's the kind of language that someone in victim mentality
- 12:57Speaker 1: will use. I'm not worth it, Like what's the point?
- 12:59Speaker 1: What's the point? That's so not must mean anyway, all
- 13:02Speaker 1: this always happens to me, like, oh, I've got the
- 13:03Speaker 1: shit as luck, trust my luck. You know those kind
- 13:07Speaker 1: of sayings. Yeah, I feel like.
- 13:09Speaker 2: They used to so much. Yeah, like, yeah, of course
- 13:12Speaker 2: it's going to happen.
- 13:13Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, we've all heard that from people. Hey, and
- 13:18Speaker 1: some people like laugh it off. But now when they
- 13:20Speaker 1: say it, I've got so much awareness around this, I'm
- 13:22Speaker 1: just like, oh, careful. Or when they say of course
- 13:26Speaker 1: it happens to me, it's like, yeah, of course, look
- 13:28Speaker 1: at the language you're using.
- 13:29Speaker 2: Exactly you're going to try that surprised. Yeah, so true.
- 13:34Speaker 2: Needing excessive attention in so you know how you said
- 13:38Speaker 2: how they're like this happened, and like it's because they're
- 13:40Speaker 2: wanting attention, Yes, that's it. They're wanting love connection like
- 13:43Speaker 2: what you said. Yeah, yeah, so they're needing excess of it, fuelance.
- 13:49Speaker 1: Yeah, and validate it. Yeah, they've convinced himself of all
- 13:53Speaker 1: of it, but hearing it from other people, it's like
- 13:55Speaker 1: their outside validation to really confirm it, like oh poor.
- 13:58Speaker 2: Me, blaming others for their actions, taking no accountability or responsibility,
- 14:03Speaker 2: and being easily angered, agitated or irritated, irritated, ceriation, irritated,
- 14:13Speaker 2: really snappy. It's like when you're driving on the road
- 14:16Speaker 2: and you like, some little thing happens and one person,
- 14:19Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, no worries, no stress, and you do
- 14:21Speaker 2: it to the next person. They're like beeping the horns,
- 14:23Speaker 2: things out the window and you're like, whoa, man, it's
- 14:26Speaker 2: all good.
- 14:26Speaker 1: Easily triggered because they're on edge and they're not giving
- 14:30Speaker 1: themselves that self love. They can't meet someone where they
- 14:32Speaker 1: haven't met themselves exactly if that work on themselves. So
- 14:35Speaker 1: it's just easy to blame and get angry and triggered.
- 14:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 14:38Speaker 1: Just it really is not a nice place to live emotionally.
- 14:41Speaker 1: And I can say that from experience because I lived
- 14:43Speaker 1: there for so long. Yeah, and I come out the
- 14:45Speaker 1: other side, like I just, I always say, And we
- 14:47Speaker 1: learned to off Katie a coach that both Ki and
- 14:50Speaker 1: I see ry now and again if we need like
- 14:51Speaker 1: a good pick me up. She's a real like confidence booster,
- 14:54Speaker 1: and she brings a lot of comedy and like laughter
- 14:56Speaker 1: into your therapy sessions. But when I was going through
- 14:59Speaker 1: a really hard time the Trolls, many many years ago,
- 15:01Speaker 1: I remember her saying, so I was once I learned
- 15:03Speaker 1: about bignam mentality, repulsed it. So I would never like validate.
- 15:07Speaker 1: I wouldn't swing the pendulum the other way. I would
- 15:09Speaker 1: never validate myself. I would never like allow myself to
- 15:13Speaker 1: feel like that because I didn't want to be a victim.
- 15:15Speaker 1: I didn't want to go back there. Did so much
- 15:17Speaker 1: work to be positive and to like get out of
- 15:19Speaker 1: that yucky phase in my head. But she was like,
- 15:22Speaker 1: sometimes you are victimized, and sometimes you're allowed to feel
- 15:25Speaker 1: sorry for yourself. You're allowed to validate your experience. So
- 15:29Speaker 1: I want you to have a little pity party. And
- 15:30Speaker 1: each situation you can choose, is this a fifteen minute
- 15:33Speaker 1: pity party where I'm just gonna sit in there, I'm
- 15:35Speaker 1: gonna cry, I'm going to punch a pillow, I'm gonna
- 15:37Speaker 1: like journal some words, go into my car and scream
- 15:40Speaker 1: as that as I can like be a victim for
- 15:41Speaker 1: a moment, have your pity party, and then decide when
- 15:44Speaker 1: you feel ready to move out of it. And sometimes
- 15:46Speaker 1: depending on the situation, you know, if someone loses some
- 15:49Speaker 1: of their family and they feel victimized too, you know
- 15:51Speaker 1: they might take a lot longer. Like healing is not linear,
- 15:55Speaker 1: but just try to have that goal of like, Okay,
- 15:57Speaker 1: I'm allowing myself this time by BA this time next week,
- 16:00Speaker 1: I'm choosing to see differently. I'm choosing to move through it.
- 16:03Speaker 1: I'm choosing to get support and help. Yeah, and that's key. Yeah,
- 16:07Speaker 1: otherwise you can get really stuck there for a really
- 16:09Speaker 1: long time and it's not going to feel good, na,
- 16:11Speaker 1: not at all. It'll affect every area of your life.
- 16:13Speaker 1: It'll all take the relationships that you attract, that you
- 16:15Speaker 1: do and don't have, or maybe the relationships you'll lose
- 16:18Speaker 1: because a lot of people don't like to be around
- 16:19Speaker 1: a victim.
- 16:20Speaker 2: And training often it's really training.
- 16:22Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll all take your work, it'll take your productivity,
- 16:26Speaker 1: and it's just your overall mood. Like you can't feel
- 16:29Speaker 1: good and high vibration when you're sitting in that for
- 16:32Speaker 1: a really long time.
- 16:33Speaker 2: Definitely not. And the last one, which I think we
- 16:36Speaker 2: all definitely know is just severe self pity.
- 16:39Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 16:40Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was reading to Ashley out of my
- 16:43Speaker 2: book this morning. Shall I read it on the potty?
- 16:45Speaker 1: That's so good.
- 16:46Speaker 2: It was really cool thinking about like positive negative thinking.
- 16:48Speaker 2: And I think it goes really well with today's episode
- 16:51Speaker 2: because we all, like we have kept saying we all
- 16:52Speaker 2: need a pity party. But it's just like a really
- 16:54Speaker 2: cool way of looking at it. Yeah.
- 16:56Speaker 1: While she was reading this out to me this morning,
- 16:58Speaker 1: we were talking about just these days, it can be
- 17:01Speaker 1: a fine line of toxic positivity. So this explains that
- 17:06Speaker 1: really really well, and how to look at both negative
- 17:10Speaker 1: thinking and positive thinking and how to allow both of
- 17:12Speaker 1: them to coexist in your life, but really not to
- 17:16Speaker 1: have attachments onto either.
- 17:17Speaker 2: So this is out of the book. You can be
- 17:19Speaker 2: happy no matter what. I recommend this book something. I
- 17:22Speaker 2: love it, guys. So there's a little share of the
- 17:23Speaker 2: week as well. But it says the two aspects of thought.
- 17:27Speaker 2: There are two aspects of thought that are very important
- 17:29Speaker 2: to understand. First is the fact that we think that
- 17:33Speaker 2: we have this human function, not what we think about,
- 17:38Speaker 2: but recognizing that we are the thinkers who produce the
- 17:41Speaker 2: thoughts constantly going through our mind. The second aspect, the
- 17:45Speaker 2: one that is usually discussed, is content, or what we
- 17:49Speaker 2: are thinking about. There's a major difference between the two.
- 17:53Speaker 2: Advocates of positive thinking suggest thinking positive thoughts as much
- 17:57Speaker 2: as you can and avoid negative thinking altogether. While it's
- 18:00Speaker 2: true that thinking positive thoughts will make us feel better
- 18:03Speaker 2: than thinking negative ones, positive thinking is an erroneous concept.
- 18:08Speaker 2: Don't know what that word means, based on the assumption
- 18:13Speaker 2: that thought in and of itself has a reality which
- 18:17Speaker 2: we need to be concerned with.
- 18:18Speaker 1: But be it.
- 18:19Speaker 2: Positive or negative. Thought is only a function. When we
- 18:24Speaker 2: understand thought for what it truly is, we see positive
- 18:27Speaker 2: or negative thoughts for what they are. A positive thinker
- 18:30Speaker 2: is constantly under pressure to produce only positive thoughts, which
- 18:33Speaker 2: takes enormous effort and concentration, leaving little energy for new
- 18:37Speaker 2: and creative thoughts. When negative thoughts do enter the mind,
- 18:41Speaker 2: which they will, a positive thinker has to deny their
- 18:44Speaker 2: existence and override them with a positive one. People who
- 18:47Speaker 2: understand the nature of thought don't have the pressure to
- 18:50Speaker 2: produce any specific content to their thinking. They see thought
- 18:54Speaker 2: for what it is, a function of consciousness, a voluntary
- 18:57Speaker 2: ability that shapes our experience of life. Does this mean
- 19:01Speaker 2: that people who understand that thought is a function will
- 19:04Speaker 2: intentionally think negative thoughts? No, of course not. Neither doesn't
- 19:08Speaker 2: mean that negative thoughts will never enter their minds. They
- 19:11Speaker 2: merely understand that negative thoughts in and of themselves have
- 19:15Speaker 2: no power to hurt them To them, thoughts, whether positive
- 19:19Speaker 2: or negative, are simply just thoughts, so good, so empowering. Hey,
- 19:24Speaker 2: it really is just the way they worded all of that.
- 19:26Speaker 2: I know, I loved it.
- 19:27Speaker 1: It's just allowing like when thoughts come in, not to
- 19:29Speaker 1: attach yourself to them too much. If a negative one
- 19:31Speaker 1: comes in, it's like, oh cool, like I thought, thanks
- 19:34Speaker 1: for the intel.
- 19:35Speaker 2: Yeah cool, acknowledge it. Yeah, I don't want to hang
- 19:37Speaker 2: on to this or do I want to let it go?
- 19:39Speaker 1: Yeah? Once again that's a choice. Yeah, so cool. I
- 19:42Speaker 1: absolutely love that.
- 19:43Speaker 2: Also, we hope you guys enjoy it. Today's wacky Wednesday,
- 19:46Speaker 2: and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
- 19:49Speaker 1: I think we should cut the wacky. Some episodes will
- 19:53Speaker 1: be though but ye, this is a.
- 19:55Speaker 2: Wonderful, wonderful Wednesday. The words wondrous I don't know. All right, guys, Friday,
- 20:03Speaker 2: see you Friday.
- 20:04Speaker 1: Bye. Eight