Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 39 - The Roots of the Inner Critic

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Ep. 39 - The Roots of the Inner Critic · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
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  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Comedy Wood, and I'm grateful that you've taken time out of your day to tune in for another episode of this podcast.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: I sincerely appreciate your time spending with me.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today I wanted to just touch base on the topic of the inner critic.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel with again with the new year upon us, many of us go out and start setting resolutions, and a lot of those resolutions somehow look at how we have to um, how we have to change and grow.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And those are not bad things, but sometimes we judge ourselves, and that inner critic is what I wanted to somehow bring to the forefront.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a lot of times, um, or a lot of psychologists, I should say, talk about how the roots of the inner critic uh oftentimes are found in childhood.
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, we uh either sometimes through traumatic experiences, sometimes they're non-traumatic experiences at all.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's really just the messages that we received or the experiences we have in childhood, and we create these uh these false beliefs about ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, some somehow it's turned into, you know, I'm not good enough, or I'm not enough, or I'm bad, or just I don't belong.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Just different false centers that can sometimes play in our subconscious, and what ends up happening is the inner critic, you know, when things happen, is the one who comes up and is really honestly trying to keep us safe.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's usually the purpose of the inner critic.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's like this hyper-vigilant voice that's scanning constantly and looking for dangers and threats and wants to try to keep us safe.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, oftentimes what ends up happening though is we put ourselves down and we sit in that place of judgment, which, you know, while the original intent of the inner critic is to keep us, you know, safe and try to ensure our survival, what ends up happening is it actually keeps us uh stuck in these old narratives and keeps us in this place of constant criticism, which doesn't allow us to actually grow and become what is actually possible for ourselves because we constantly are thinking that there's something wrong with us or that we we won't be able to achieve what it is that we want to achieve because again, we're in this judgment space of ourselves.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: So how do we, how can it, how can we possibly deal with our inner critic?
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  SPEAKER_01: Or how can we and it's not about making it go away, it's about almost coming to terms with, you know, accepting that, oh, there's that voice again.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like so there's different ways that we can deal with it.
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  SPEAKER_01: The the acceptance and commitment way of dealing with it is to simply recognize that, oh, that's the voice of my inner critic.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, thanks, thanks for trying to keep me safe, you know.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: But what I know to be true is, and then finish that sentence and then really commit to what's one thing that we can do to move ourselves forward.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: The another way that we can deal with the inner critic is to uh you know notice ourselves when we're judging ourselves and actually have that inner dialogue that simply says, aha, there there I go again, I'm judging myself, and really, you know, really consciously shift from that place of survival brain where it's you know, I've I'm just trying to survive into this place of um really recognizing that you know I there are things that I can learn from this place, right?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: There are things that I can learn from this situation or this experience I just had.
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  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to sit in judgment of myself, but I can actually grow from this situation.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's also the idea, if that doesn't work, there's the idea of really just challenging the thought, right?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Really starting to um when that inner critic pops up and says that, you know, you're stupid or you shouldn't have done something, it's really to challenge that thought and to ask, you know, is that really true?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is there another way that I can look at this?
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  SPEAKER_01: Can I evaluate this situation differently?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Which just challenges that inner critic's uh concept of what's right and what's wrong.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, we can also just befriend our inner critic, you know, just really recognize that it's there, it's there to keep us safe.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it goes back to the whole concept of negative bias and how it through evolutionary process we were constantly put in this position of looking for those threats, you know, looking for the negativity because that was that meant we would survive.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's really just coming to this place of compassion of that and saying, okay, I understand that that's what I'm it's my inner critic is trying to keep me safe, but instead, in this situation, I know X, Y, Z to be true.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or I, even though my inner critic wants to tell me that I shouldn't have done something, instead, what I have learned from this situation is, you know, A B C.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really taking, it's not running away from the inner critic or telling us telling ourselves that our inner critic is bad.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's coming to this place of truly just understanding that it's there, you know, that inner critic is there, but we don't have to necessarily jump on board just because there's the thought that the inner critic has, we don't have to jump on that train and go along with it for the ride.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we have thousands of thoughts a day.
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  SPEAKER_01: And what it really is is it's about figuring out which ones we actually want to give credence to, which ones we actually want to give our energy to versus the ones we don't.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if we can recognize, for instance, in certain situations that that inner critic is not really there serving us with a greater purpose, or it's really a depletion of our energy, we can make the conscious choice that says, okay, there's that thought, but I don't have to think that.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't have to join in on that train and allow my monkey mind to go down that path and tell me how horrible I am.
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  SPEAKER_01: Instead, this is me.
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm the spiritual being having a human experience.
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  SPEAKER_01: This is what I've learned in this situation, and this is how I can apply it forward.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that this conversation about the inner critic was helpful.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if there are any times when you catch yourself doing that, it's not about sitting in judgment of the fact that you let the inner critic get the best of you.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, it's what can I learn from this, and maybe what can I do next time.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time that we talk, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
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  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.