Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Old Alan Fixes Your MacBook

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Phone Tap: Old Alan Fixes Your MacBook · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Our listeners may not know this.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. But personally, I've
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: had some issues with the so-called geniuses working the genius
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: bar over at the Apple Store.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: This is the new Julia Louise Dreyfuss for Jeffrey.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Look, I'm not going to get into details, but let's
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: just say I wish they had a person there with
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: loads of real experience who could actually fix my problem
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: lickety split.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Sure. That would be nice.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: That's why today we call a woman who's having issues
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  Speaker 2: with her Apple product and match her up with the
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: man who knows everything.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Well, he used to know everything, but now that he's
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: pushing 90, he tends to forget things sometimes. His name
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: is Old Alan, and he is ready to help with
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: your technology in your phone tap right now.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Hello?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: They said to call the doctor if it's lasting four hours,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: but it's only been three.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Hello?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Hi.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: Hi.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Did you mean to call me?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I think so. Am I speaking with Elise?
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Yes. Who's this?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, great. My name is Alan Winterbottom. I'm one of
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the quote-unquote geniuses at the Apple Store bar.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, is this about my MacBook?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: No, sweetheart, we're not a bookstore. We're a computer store.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: It says on my notes here that you scheduled an
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: appointment with us because of a computer problem.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Right. My computer is my MacBook. It's what it's called.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, a Macintosh. That's what you're talking about.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I didn't think anyone called it Macintosh anymore.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Anywho, what's the.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Issue that you're having? Because I have 30 years of experience.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I could handle this over the phone.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, that would be great. Yeah, so the microphone
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: doesn't work very well. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Well, I can hear you just fine.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm on my phone. Yes, but I'm on my phone,
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: not my computer.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: If I'm going to help you, I've got to just
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: put my log in. Real quick. I know it's Genius Bar.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I've got to spell that.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I don't think you should probably tell me what your
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: login is. I feel like that's something that should just
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: be for you.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're distracting me because now I'm going to have
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: to start typing genius over.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: Do you need me to spell it for you?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: No, I got it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Now for my password, I've got to remember my third
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: wife's middle name.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it actually might just be easier and
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: faster if I just come down.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's Gertrude.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: No, that's not it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Mildred.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: I think at this point it's probably better. It's Debbie. Okay,
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: did you get it?
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Debbie.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Look at you.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: You're really doing it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And I'm in. We're off and running. Here we go.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Are we?
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Did I already ask you your issue?
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my issue is the Macintosh laptop that I own,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: the microphone only works part of the time.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow. I didn't realize we're going to be dealing
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: with something like this. That's above my pay grade.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: It was literally on the paperwork.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: In all due respect, you were telling me about microphones
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: in your phone and microphones.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Yes, I can see. It's all very confusing, I'm sure,
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: for the genius part.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So what time should I just bring my laptop?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Down there and talk to somebody else.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It's hard for me to focus on my own thoughts
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: with you yapping.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I agree.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So let me get my supervisor real quick.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: That would be great.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Alright, please hold. You just got to connect first.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm sorry.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Are you using dial-up internet right now?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Top-of-the-line modem.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: It's not. It's really, really not.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: With all the talking, it's making it connect slower.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: That's not how technology works.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Well, with all due respect, I'm the genius. I'll agree.
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: What is your name? What's your name? Did you tell
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: me your name?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: It's Alan Winterbottom.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: It's Alan.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Something you don't know about old Alan here is I
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: used to work on the floor. I don't care. Apparently,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: they said I was too gregarious.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: I find that very, very difficult to believe.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I'm really a people person. The issue was we would
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: have so much fun chopping it up, cutting a rug together.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I never even got to sell many phones.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: I don't care.
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  Speaker 3: Can I come down this afternoon and speak to anyone else?
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Because this isn't working.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Gosh, my supervisor isn't answering my dial-up request. So instead,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: maybe let's talk to Jewel, your best friend.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: Why would you? How do you even know that?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Well, it might be because she set you up for
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: this prank phone call that we're doing on the radio here.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Are you kidding me right now?
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Right? This genius, he's also a jokester who goes by
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: the name Jeff on the show Broken Jeffrey in the morning.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Okay, that makes so much more sense.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I thought I was.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Talking to a fossil that worked at the Apple store
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: and had no idea.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: How dare you say old Alan doesn't know technology.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: You know, if you just want to maybe like crawl
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: back into the crypt for a minute and take a
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: little nap.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, these hips don't crawl anymore, sweetheart. You're a firecracker,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I can tell.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Oh my God.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.