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Creating a Life You Don't Have to Heal From · Not All Business

• 0:00
  Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEO's who
• 0:04
  went from competitors to friends.
• 0:06
  I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper, and we
• 0:09
  are joined by our producer Clay Cornell, who somehow makes every
• 0:12
  recording session feel a little less stressful.
• 0:15
  Today we're talking about something that might sound
• 0:18
  radical. What if climbing down the
• 0:21
  corporate ladder is actually the smartest move you can make?
• 0:32
  OK. Could we start today's show by
• 0:37
  having a conversation about wall art and why you've chosen to
• 0:41
  have like that? You know those toys where you
• 0:44
  put like your hand or your face and you?
• 0:47
  Yes, I would always do a middle finger.
• 0:48
  You did. You did.
• 0:51
  They definitely did. Isn't it creepy as hell?
• 0:56
  What is? Happening OK so some people can
• 0:58
  see it and we're going to we're going to zoom in on it right now
• 1:02
  so people can see what's going on OK some people are listening
• 1:04
  and they can't see what is happening behind you because
• 1:07
  that's the only way to describe it what is that thing that's on
• 1:10
  your wall in. Your hotel so well I I woke up
• 1:13
  to it this morning because our flight got delayed.
• 1:15
  We got in at 1:30 last night, so it's like pitch black, but then
• 1:18
  this morning I woke up to this creepy.
• 1:21
  It's like a face coming out of a bunch of papers swirling around,
• 1:26
  which always reminds me of like 911, you know, like all the
• 1:29
  papers falling from the skyscraper.
• 1:31
  I know that's a little dark, OK, But it's like a it's what it is,
• 1:35
  though. It's it's a bunch of like
• 1:36
  business papers and then it's like making a brick wall and
• 1:40
  then there's this like creepy face coming out of it.
• 1:43
  It looks like if AI. It's like, I think it's, I think
• 1:46
  it's AI. AI or what are we calling the
• 1:49
  humanoid robots? It's like one of the hairless
• 1:53
  humanoid humanoid robots coming. It's not one of the Asian sexy.
• 1:58
  Robots to your bed? No, it's not a sexy robot.
• 2:01
  So terrifying it looks like powder.
• 2:04
  Have you ever been to like a beauty supply store and they
• 2:07
  have the mannequin heads that aren't, They're not painted or
• 2:10
  anything. It's just one of those kind of
• 2:12
  blank ones. That's what it looks like.
• 2:14
  No. No wig, no nothing.
• 2:16
  On top, but but also the white eyes, like when if you roll your
• 2:20
  eyes back in your head and is the white is the eyes are just
• 2:23
  like white. It's really scary.
• 2:25
  I'm going to take it down before I I can't sleep under that.
• 2:28
  I can't sleep under that. But to you, Heather from you are
• 2:33
  live streaming from Dreamforce, which we introduced to our
• 2:35
  listeners last week. I think we did recount
• 2:38
  Dreamforce is what? I'm wearing these gold shoes.
• 2:42
  See them? Oh yeah, some gold glitter shoes
• 2:46
  are those side. Glitter.
• 2:48
  Sashes, Sashes. No, they're Michael Kors.
• 2:51
  But no. Yeah, but the, the ribbons are
• 2:54
  from my wedding. So yeah, it's fun.
• 2:56
  And I've gotten lots of compliments on them already.
• 2:58
  And no one has said like, oh, yours should be more dressed up,
• 3:01
  fit right in. So that's good.
• 3:04
  What else? The hotel's the nicest hotel
• 3:06
  I've ever stayed in at Dreamforce.
• 3:09
  Because your room looks about the size of like a little
• 3:11
  cardboard box. It is, but it's the nicest room
• 3:14
  I've ever been in. In Dreamforce.
• 3:15
  There's clean sheets, which is like a first.
• 3:17
  No, no rats, no urine in the elevator.
• 3:21
  So that's all been where? Do you usually stay?
• 3:25
  Where? OK, yeah, no, you don't.
• 3:31
  I'm sure that you've got all kinds of friends in high places
• 3:33
  that get you the good rooms, but.
• 3:35
  No, we actually staked out this like hole in the wall hotel and
• 3:39
  it was undiscovered and we would just like pretty much rent out.
• 3:42
  The whole thing was like a boutique hotel every year and
• 3:45
  people just didn't know about it.
• 3:46
  And it was a good price. It was walking distance to
• 3:48
  Dreamforce. It was awesome.
• 3:50
  And then it got discovered like in our final year and as we grew
• 3:53
  bigger at a company, as a company, there were people like,
• 3:56
  this actually really is not that nice.
• 4:00
  No, on Dreamforce standards it is because I'm sure this was
• 4:03
  very normally It's probably 200 bucks a night, but I think it's
• 4:06
  like 5 or 6. Like I don't even know.
• 4:08
  At least. Yeah, it's I'm shaking up with
• 4:12
  my husband here so my company doesn't have to pay for it.
• 4:15
  See how smart I am? How is that traveling to a
• 4:18
  business conference with your spouse?
• 4:19
  That's interesting. It's really annoying, It's
• 4:23
  really horrible. We've been tested several times.
• 4:26
  He's like a Weaver. Like he likes to get like into
• 4:29
  the front of the crowd where I'm just like a wait your fucking
• 4:31
  turn kind of person. Like if I'm racing late then
• 4:34
  I'll go up the side or find another way.
• 4:35
  But he's more of like a Bob and weave kind of guy.
• 4:38
  And then he likes to bring me with him.
• 4:39
  So like he'll do the bobbing, I'm doing the weaving and I'm
• 4:42
  getting all The Dirty looks because he's already ahead of
• 4:43
  everybody and then they're looking at me.
• 4:45
  So we've had a couple talks already this morning.
• 4:50
  I think that would be in your favor.
• 4:52
  I I go to concerts with this guy who I mean almost always he's in
• 4:56
  like our concert group, whatever posse, whatever you call that
• 5:01
  and he's probably 66 and he is wife is probably 5.
• 5:08
  Sorry, Ally, I don't know your height. 5254.
• 5:12
  So like like petite woman with a super tall guy.
• 5:17
  He basically, first of all, he is our meeting spot.
• 5:21
  So it's like, go find Brad and we all kind of go to Brad.
• 5:24
  And then you just scan the crowd and then there's.
• 5:27
  Does he have like an orange hat or something like a like a
• 5:30
  specific hat color or something that?
• 5:32
  Just doesn't need a hat. He's 66, Clay at a like at a
• 5:35
  concert, he's massive. He's that's a good friend to
• 5:38
  have. That's a good.
• 5:39
  Friend it is, but it's great because he will like slowly go
• 5:42
  up and then his like petite little wife she'll just like
• 5:47
  rabbit right up to the very front she's always at the.
• 5:51
  What do you call those? Yeah, the.
• 5:53
  Barricade. The barricade.
• 5:54
  Yeah. Well, I do that.
• 5:55
  I do that too. I do that too.
• 5:57
  But you might have missed. Nick's not 66.
• 5:59
  He's not. He's.
• 6:00
  He's. So he's like pushing beep all
• 6:02
  the way, whereas like Brad the sea just kind of like parts.
• 6:05
  For him, yeah. No, he's very tall, honey, in a,
• 6:08
  in a very average kind of tall way, just enough to piss people
• 6:12
  off. But I get the head of it.
• 6:13
  But the secret at the conferences and at the concert,
• 6:15
  and I've done this every year too.
• 6:17
  You know how to cut a head at A at a concert?
• 6:20
  Do you guys know this trick? You follow.
• 6:21
  Brad But let me tell you, if you don't have a Brad, if you're not
• 6:24
  lucky enough to have a Brad, what you do is you cut sideways
• 6:28
  so you're you're crossing in front of people across from
• 6:31
  them, but they're not they don't have a drone.
• 6:34
  They don't see how you're like weaving back and forth.
• 6:37
  I did this because when I learned how to ski, that's the
• 6:39
  only way I could get down the mountain.
• 6:40
  Yeah, Criss cross. So that's how you excuse me, I
• 6:43
  just, I'm just, I'm just going on the other side here.
• 6:44
  I'm just, I'm just coming this way, you know, you're not
• 6:47
  cutting in front of everyone. Everyone's happy to let you
• 6:49
  cross. This way.
• 6:51
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That takes a little longer,
• 6:54
  yeah, but I get it from every time.
• 6:56
  Speaking of tips, last week we gave out a few tips on
• 7:00
  Dreamforce. We got some great feedback from
• 7:04
  listeners and viewers on our social media accounts, and there
• 7:09
  were actually a few people that said that this is their first
• 7:12
  time that they're going to Dreamforce, which is very
• 7:14
  exciting. So from your perspective,
• 7:17
  Heather, you know, give us the vibe.
• 7:18
  We know there's like a lot of people, you're cutting people
• 7:21
  off, they're getting mad at you, but you know, what's the vibe?
• 7:24
  A lot of walking. How are the tips coming in to
• 7:27
  play? Really good.
• 7:28
  So I put one into play this morning.
• 7:31
  One I was very interested in was the legal tips and you know for
• 7:36
  doing legal in Salesforce and just their law firms are go new
• 7:40
  vertical that they're going after and we just actually did
• 7:42
  that. So I was very interested in
• 7:43
  being there for that. But then half of it was a
• 7:46
  Salesforce demo, which I'm in the middle of because we're
• 7:48
  already doing a second phase and I had no interest in it, but I
• 7:52
  still wanted to really get to the keynote.
• 7:54
  So I did the, I got to go with my phone thing and I kind of
• 7:58
  excused myself out and it was, I was in front.
• 8:01
  So I felt even a little bit more rude.
• 8:02
  But I sat there and I thought, you know what?
• 8:04
  I have to take my own advice. This is turning a corner.
• 8:06
  This is not helpful for me anymore.
• 8:08
  And I want to get to keynote. So I did it and I got up and I
• 8:12
  left. I was so proud of myself.
• 8:14
  And then I went down this whole other aisle.
• 8:16
  I know I it's quite because it was rude to the speaker.
• 8:21
  There wasn't this table. No, it it wasn't.
• 8:23
  It was a roundtable, Blakely. If there was only 6 roundtables,
• 8:26
  it was exactly what you said, like don't do this if you're in
• 8:29
  a small group. And I did it anyway and I do not
• 8:31
  regret it. There were six roundtables and I
• 8:33
  excused myself to the person next to me.
• 8:35
  I explained the situation. I said, I don't mean to brood.
• 8:38
  I got her number. We're going to have coffee.
• 8:40
  It was great. But then I left.
• 8:42
  These people don't know me from Adam.
• 8:43
  Who cares? They're not going to be like, Oh
• 8:45
  my gosh, there's the girl that left that session early.
• 8:48
  No, I had to get out of. There and then saunt me for
• 8:51
  weeks. Well, I'm smarter than you
• 8:57
  because I've been to more sessions.
• 8:58
  I don't know what to say. About that, no, it's great.
• 9:01
  I'm glad I did notice you were like doing some filming and I
• 9:04
  noticed there were a lot of maybe first timers who did not
• 9:09
  take the first tip or was it the second tip was like don't bring
• 9:12
  your laptop like they had every. Backpacks that were down.
• 9:15
  Massive What are they putting in those backpacks?
• 9:19
  Yes, and you're, if you have a backpack, you have got to go
• 9:21
  through a whole other line which is way slower.
• 9:24
  So this morning on the way to Keynote, they had all these
• 9:26
  people going it's full, it's full.
• 9:28
  I'm like bullshit, it's full. I it's 9:30.
• 9:30
  I know it's not full, so I don't listen to that.
• 9:32
  They're like queuing everybody over.
• 9:34
  I mean, there's, there's so many people here this year, way more
• 9:36
  than last year and they're queuing them all over to the,
• 9:41
  what do you call it, like the viewing room or whatever.
• 9:42
  It's just the screens. Like then overflow.
• 9:45
  Because yeah, over yeah, overflow.
• 9:46
  That's a good word. And I had my people.
• 9:48
  I'm Heather and I'm in the room where it happens.
• 9:51
  Yeah, 100%. Well, it's the only way I'll pay
• 9:54
  attention to be honest. So then I, so I'm like, I had
• 9:57
  people in there saving my seat. So I did not listen.
• 10:01
  I did not listen. I did not follow the crowd.
• 10:03
  And I went my own way, and I wiggled my way in there and I
• 10:05
  and I got in my. Seat wow.
• 10:06
  So tips number six like go for it, really.
• 10:10
  Go for it. Get in there.
• 10:11
  Yes, go against the grain if there's if there's a police
• 10:14
  officer in the street saying you are not allowed to go this way,
• 10:17
  you just do it anyway. They're not chasing you down.
• 10:22
  I just don't even know how to react to all this.
• 10:24
  I feel like there's like two different people here, like
• 10:26
  you're like the aggressor at Dreamforce and I maybe I'm not
• 10:30
  like what is the opposite of that?
• 10:31
  Whatever I am, I feel like. It's called.
• 10:33
  It's called a. It's called a rule follower.
• 10:36
  Also, do you change? Not regularly, but yes.
• 10:41
  And this, this, this situation I do just making sure you know,
• 10:44
  you know what you're speaking from your high fucking horse,
• 10:48
  your VOF privilege. Did you?
• 10:50
  You know what? Because you don't have to just
• 10:52
  really consider like Mrs. Graham, come this way.
• 10:55
  We have your seat at the front already and they're like
• 10:57
  ushering you. That's why you don't have to
• 10:59
  hustle your way and get dirty in the line to get there because
• 11:02
  you have someone guiding you to your seat.
• 11:04
  Admit it. Heather's in the streets, OK?
• 11:07
  She's out in the streets. I'm sorry.
• 11:09
  Can it happen? I mean, I was in the front row
• 11:11
  every year. I do know that.
• 11:12
  But you know, at least I use my privilege for good instead of
• 11:15
  jaywalk. Skip school, break all these
• 11:17
  laws just to force your way through so you can see Benny Out
• 11:19
  shoes up close. Just didn't grow and they were
• 11:22
  gross as usual. And also you, yes, you would you
• 11:27
  hustled dirty in a different way.
• 11:29
  It's just you. You did it in the way that you
• 11:31
  had to you. But this, this is your world
• 11:33
  where you're like a Princess. They did a whole dedication to
• 11:38
  Jane Goodall this morning, which was really.
• 11:40
  Sweet. Oh, that.
• 11:41
  Was her first year. She hasn't been here.
• 11:44
  Also, I'm really sad about Diane Keaton passing.
• 11:48
  Did you see that? Oh, did I That was a shocking 1.
• 11:53
  I, I don't know what made it so shocking because, you know,
• 11:56
  celebrities die just like we regular folk die.
• 11:59
  Like it happens all the time. They're just like us was hard.
• 12:03
  And I think maybe it's the she's the same age as my mother.
• 12:06
  So my mother always looked up to her and I looked up to her and
• 12:10
  she just resonated like I don't give an F kind of cool and just
• 12:15
  marched to her own beat. And that one was particularly
• 12:18
  hard. I agree.
• 12:20
  Yeah, it it was. And I think it because it was
• 12:22
  also a shock. Like I don't, I don't still know
• 12:24
  the circumstances, but it got me thinking about her and it made
• 12:28
  me think that she would tell us to keep doing this show.
• 12:31
  I think it's, I think it's exactly what she would say.
• 12:34
  She but she was to funk it up a little bit.
• 12:36
  That's what she. She probably would.
• 12:37
  She would say wear more hats. I think she's I.
• 12:40
  Was just. About to say that.
• 12:41
  Wear more hats. I'm going to wear a hat next
• 12:44
  week in her honor, OK? We should.
• 12:46
  OK, we should. Sorry, sidetrack, no.
• 12:48
  No, that's good. I do want to hear what your
• 12:50
  favorite Diane Keaton movie is. And while you're thinking of
• 12:54
  that, there is a drink called the Diane Keaton.
• 12:58
  Do You Know? What the drink is.
• 13:01
  No. What is?
• 13:02
  It it's red wine over ice. Love it, love it love it.
• 13:10
  I have the giant team frequently.
• 13:12
  But it is such a do it your own way.
• 13:15
  Like if you don't, if this isn't working for you, go ahead and
• 13:17
  just add the ice in and make it taste how you want.
• 13:20
  I love that. Really.
• 13:21
  I never heard that. That's so good.
• 13:24
  I love when she comes down the stairs and father of the bride.
• 13:27
  Oh, I love that. And he is enamoured with her and
• 13:31
  it's like she's the mom and she's been making out all about
• 13:33
  the daughter, but then she just has this one moment where she's
• 13:36
  just a vision coming down the stairs and she handles it so
• 13:40
  well. I mean, there's a million of
• 13:41
  them, but I love that one. That's a good one instead of a
• 13:45
  movie. I just recently saw a clip of
• 13:48
  her at a fashion show. Have you guys seen this?
• 13:50
  Yes, where she's waving to everyone like.
• 13:53
  She waves to every single model that comes down and she's like,
• 13:57
  hey, And then she's like giving him a little beat and she's
• 14:00
  like, thank you. Good.
• 14:02
  Job to every and she has a glass of the Diane Keaton in her hand.
• 14:06
  Did you see? That.
• 14:07
  So she's drinking the Diane Keaton Diane Keaton was and she
• 14:11
  is like just talking to every model and I just it that 1 was
• 14:14
  fantastic. That just shows like she's a
• 14:17
  good human and real life circumstance, right.
• 14:20
  She didn't know what camp was on her so.
• 14:23
  And she's an epitome of of women supporting women, mentoring,
• 14:29
  encouraging everything everyone's posting.
• 14:32
  It's like she was the mentor to all of these Hollywood women and
• 14:36
  you would never know it. I mean, but there's post after
• 14:38
  post like she's the reason I am who I am.
• 14:40
  This is what she told me. Here's a letter she wrote me
• 14:43
  here. You know, it's just, it's like,
• 14:44
  what an impact? And she did not have an easy
• 14:47
  life. Like she went through her own
• 14:50
  demons and her own struggles too.
• 14:52
  And so I just think it's more of a testament to some just
• 14:56
  transformation and awareness. And I don't know, she's she's
• 14:59
  phenomenal. I just think she's great.
• 15:03
  All right. Yeah.
• 15:04
  Sorry, I didn't take that moment, Blakely.
• 15:06
  Favorite Diane Keaton movie? Well, I was going to use that
• 15:10
  one because, you know, I don't think on the top of my head real
• 15:12
  quick. OK, well then meet before you
• 15:14
  Father. Father of the Bride, Part 2.
• 15:16
  Father of the Bride, Part 2. Oh, when she's pregnant?
• 15:19
  Yeah, when she's pregnant too. Oh, so good.
• 15:22
  God about that. That was an odd storyline.
• 15:26
  Blakely, you do have to pick a movie, and we've taken Father of
• 15:29
  the Bride Part 1 and 2 off the table.
• 15:31
  OK, what about something's got to?
• 15:34
  Give. Something's got to give.
• 15:37
  That was a good one. She was in The Godfather and
• 15:39
  she. Was in The Godfather.
• 15:41
  Yeah, she was amazing. Well, yes, I think we should get
• 15:45
  to business because our guest is actually another Dreamforce.
• 15:50
  I was about to say survivor, and that's not the right word.
• 15:55
  Superstar, superstar. She was a superstar.
• 15:58
  Is a superstar. All right.
• 16:01
  Our guest today is Alden Holgren, a tech executive and
• 16:04
  founder of the Conscious Leadership Collective.
• 16:08
  As VP of Partnerships at companies like Salesforce and
• 16:11
  Twilio, Alden knows first hand the pressure of building success
• 16:15
  in a fast-paced, always on industry.
• 16:18
  After years of chasing achievement at all costs, Alden
• 16:21
  learned that prioritizing Wellness is the key to finding
• 16:24
  calm in the chaos. Today, she blends her boardroom
• 16:28
  experience with her Wellness and spiritual background to help
• 16:31
  leaders redefine success from relentless hustle to purposeful,
• 16:37
  embodied impact. Alden, welcome to Not All
• 16:40
  Business. Hi everyone.
• 16:45
  Blakely here. This episode of Not All Business
• 16:48
  is brought to you by yours truly, where strategist Cindy
• 16:51
  Forgard helps growth minded leaders navigate pivotal moments
• 16:55
  with confidence. I worked with Cindy when I was
• 16:58
  CEO of Taskray and she's what I call ACEO Whisperer.
• 17:02
  She helped us execute a complete brand pivot, boosted me up as a
• 17:05
  leader, and set us up to hit aggressive growth targets that
• 17:09
  led to our successful exit. Whether you've hit a growth
• 17:13
  plateau or you're evolving your company, maybe you're at a
• 17:17
  career crossroads. Yours truly provides the
• 17:19
  strategic guidance you need. Because what got you here won't
• 17:22
  always get you where you want to go.
• 17:25
  So sometimes you need a Cindy to help push you forward.
• 17:28
  Visit itsyourstruly.com and mention Not all business for
• 17:33
  complimentary strategy consultation.
• 17:35
  OK, back to the show all then. Welcome to the show.
• 17:43
  So excited to have you on. I love that we are in Week 2 of
• 17:48
  Dreamforce weeks and you have probably the most Dreamforce
• 17:52
  experience out of anyone on the podcast today.
• 17:55
  Is that right? Is that true?
• 17:57
  I think I've been to 15 Dreamforces crazy.
• 18:02
  I went as a customer before I worked there.
• 18:04
  I was at Salesforce for nine years, so.
• 18:07
  So you were there as a customer, you said?
• 18:10
  Was there as a customer, yeah. And that no before, before
• 18:14
  customer and then partner, yeah. So I lived all the hats, Twilio
• 18:20
  and then an AI company after that.
• 18:22
  Nice. Do you know that Twilio was a
• 18:25
  big customer of Cloud Coach Blakely?
• 18:28
  I don't know if you knew that. Well, you were focused on
• 18:31
  Twilio, we were focused on Salesforce.
• 18:34
  That's my customer. Of task, right?
• 18:38
  Yes, really. Yes, yes, OK, so stop trying to
• 18:45
  one up me all the time, Heather. Well, it's.
• 18:48
  Never going to work well. So Heather, my, the way I met
• 18:51
  Blakely was I started managing partnerships and she was like
• 18:56
  our first, she was the first successful partner that I got to
• 19:00
  work with at Salesforce. Oh, no way.
• 19:03
  Oh, wow. OK.
• 19:05
  Do I get a point when someone else is talking about me too?
• 19:09
  Yes, 6. Points.
• 19:10
  We have a leaderboard, Alden. Yeah.
• 19:14
  I don't know if I was a good partner manager or not, but I
• 19:16
  loved Blakely. Yeah.
• 19:18
  And I do remember Cloud coach from from Twilio.
• 19:20
  So good, good work there. Thank you very much.
• 19:24
  When? You, I mean that was back in
• 19:26
  probably what, 2010, right? Like when we were just first.
• 19:31
  2009, yeah. 2010 yeah. So.
• 19:35
  Long ago, those early days, like they forged some deep
• 19:39
  relationships and deep connection.
• 19:41
  So we were all just like learning together.
• 19:43
  I mean, you were basically on the forefront of the app
• 19:45
  exchange, right? That was brand new, like
• 19:48
  technology, brand new market. It was incredible and fast-paced
• 19:54
  and wild. It was wild.
• 19:55
  It sounds cliche, but the first Dreamforce I went to, I think it
• 19:59
  was 05, they announced the app exchange.
• 20:02
  And I was like lit up because it was the first time a company was
• 20:08
  really like, I'm not going to do it all.
• 20:10
  I'm going to build an ecosystem around what we're doing.
• 20:14
  And I was like, this is going to change everything and I want to
• 20:16
  work on that team. So I went to Salesforce.
• 20:18
  They're like, you have to do a year in outbound sales and then
• 20:22
  you can go work on the partner team.
• 20:24
  It was it was the best and hardest year ever.
• 20:27
  I know it was. It was hard.
• 20:30
  I'm glad I did it because I learned so many life lessons in
• 20:34
  that year. I'm a people pleaser and calling
• 20:37
  people all day and hearing no will teach you a lot.
• 20:41
  Yeah, getting hung up on addiction.
• 20:44
  Yeah, that's a that's a skill, though.
• 20:46
  That is honestly a skill. I used to work for a man who
• 20:50
  would only hire. Actually, I don't know if this
• 20:53
  is OK. How about HR lawyer Heather come
• 20:55
  out he he would only hire Mormons because they had to do
• 21:00
  their mission where they were going door to door hearing no
• 21:05
  all day long and so and they have an incredible work ethic.
• 21:09
  Don't drink, you know, perfect employee.
• 21:11
  So I again, I don't know if that is like something you are
• 21:14
  allowed to do, but it's the same thing.
• 21:16
  It's really good experience to hear.
• 21:18
  No, I could never have done that all then.
• 21:20
  Never so impressive. No, I it was, it was really
• 21:23
  hard. There's a reason they only have
• 21:25
  you do it for a year because that's about all that I feel
• 21:27
  like you can take and they kind of see who cuts it.
• 21:31
  Like if you wanted in Salesforce, you wanted to sell
• 21:33
  or you wanted to go into a different part of the go to
• 21:36
  market organization like that will separate like people who
• 21:41
  can cut it and people who can't. And so, yeah, I'm, I'm grateful
• 21:44
  for that year. It was really hard.
• 21:46
  But yeah, the partner side and building the app exchange.
• 21:50
  What I will say about that is that network of people, whether
• 21:54
  it's the partners we worked with or the people that I was like in
• 21:58
  that foxhole with, are probably my biggest asset in business now
• 22:03
  because so many of them are now leaders at like name the tech
• 22:08
  company, you know? And so that's one thing I've
• 22:12
  learned. Build your network early and
• 22:14
  nurture it and hold on to it because it will.
• 22:17
  I think it'll be the biggest asset that you have as you
• 22:21
  progress through your career. I think that was tip #5 and
• 22:25
  Dreamforce reels last week. Get drunk with people.
• 22:30
  I think it was build your network but also.
• 22:32
  I know it finally came down to that.
• 22:33
  Go to the parties, yeah. I actually am really sad when I
• 22:37
  think it Wednesday night is we would meet at the Saint Regis,
• 22:41
  the OG crew. I have my calendar invite and
• 22:45
  yeah, so go, if you want to go meet some cool people, Heather,
• 22:48
  go, go over there. We would just pretend like that
• 22:50
  was the hotel we got to stay at and hang out.
• 22:52
  There as much as possible. That's so great, yeah.
• 22:54
  And forward your. Invite to me, yeah.
• 22:57
  First, Yeah, just tell them. Tell them you're Alden.
• 23:00
  OK. Yeah.
• 23:02
  So I know you spent many years climbing that corporate ladder.
• 23:06
  I mean, if you had to do outbound sales for a year before
• 23:10
  you even got onto your dream team, I mean, you were running
• 23:14
  the paces there. So I also know, though, at some
• 23:18
  point in your career, you intentionally climbed down the
• 23:23
  corporate ladder, which is not something you hear about very
• 23:26
  often. Like, if I were listening to
• 23:27
  this right now, I'd be like, like, what do you mean?
• 23:29
  Why would you purposely climb down?
• 23:31
  I just wonder if you can walk us through that story and like what
• 23:35
  got you there and why you made that decision and was it the
• 23:39
  right decision? Yeah.
• 23:40
  So I left Salesforce. I followed a lot of Salesforce
• 23:44
  people over to Twilio and was asked to build their partner
• 23:48
  organization. And I was really excited because
• 23:52
  I kind of always been hiding under really incredible leaders.
• 23:56
  And so it was this big step in my career to go build from the
• 23:59
  ground up and take everything I'd learned in those ten years
• 24:02
  at Salesforce and go apply it. And I ended up inheriting a
• 24:07
  small team and growing it to like 65 people globally owning
• 24:11
  kind of all facets of partnership.
• 24:13
  And it was during COVID too. So it was crazy times for
• 24:17
  Twilio. You guys know they do
• 24:18
  communications, communication became pretty important during
• 24:22
  COVID. And so our business just blew up
• 24:25
  and our partnerships and our partners were leading the way in
• 24:29
  a lot of that growth. And so it was a lot, it was a
• 24:34
  lot to hold, especially during a super challenging time
• 24:39
  personally for everybody. I felt like I was like the the
• 24:44
  mom, you know, on these calls, having to like kind of not just
• 24:48
  be a leader, but also like be a therapist and make sure that
• 24:52
  people are. OK.
• 24:54
  Oh yeah, it's it's at least 3040% of the job.
• 24:58
  So what when you got that job at Twilio, what experience did you
• 25:04
  have at Salesforce that was kind of setting you up for that to be
• 25:08
  the match for you? Had you been in sales that
• 25:10
  entire time or did you moved into partner relationships on
• 25:13
  the Salesforce side 1st and then?
• 25:15
  Yeah, I, I moved over and thankfully Ron Huddleston, who
• 25:22
  unfortunately is no longer with us speaking.
• 25:25
  Yeah, Speaking of a a great leader, He, he saw something in
• 25:32
  me and I and I'm so grateful for this.
• 25:34
  And he kind of took control of my career.
• 25:36
  And so while I was a partner manager, he saw that I was
• 25:40
  really, really good with like my process and operations and the
• 25:44
  analytics. And he kind of put me in this
• 25:48
  kind of operational chief of staff kind of role.
• 25:51
  And I learned the insurance and outs of the ISP business the
• 25:54
  best. I helped develop how we managed
• 25:57
  and tracked our business in Salesforce.
• 25:59
  I helped build exact presentations and quotas and
• 26:03
  comp plans and territory carving and like the insurance and outs.
• 26:07
  And then one day I walked in and he was like, you got a new job.
• 26:11
  And I was like, what? And he said, you're gonna, you
• 26:15
  now own all of the regional SI partners for Salesforce
• 26:19
  globally. You can take one person with.
• 26:21
  Systems integrator, OK. So a totally different part of
• 26:25
  the business you can take one person, like go find somebody to
• 26:30
  go help you. But and I was like, Ron, I know
• 26:32
  the ISV business more than deeper than anybody here.
• 26:36
  Like what what do you mean? And he's like, yeah, I think you
• 26:38
  need a new challenge like go do this.
• 26:42
  I think this is the next step in like your partner evolution and
• 26:45
  take everything that you did over an ISV land and go apply it
• 26:50
  and see what you can do. And by the way, if you're going
• 26:52
  to fail, fail fast and you can always come back, so.
• 26:54
  He had already started to get to like the specifics, but he had
• 26:58
  he already had a relationship that he had said, hey, I've got
• 27:01
  someone for your team and here she is and kind of made that
• 27:04
  intro already for you. They trusted him because of who
• 27:07
  he is. And just just to note, as people
• 27:11
  are seeing the trajectory of this, Alden starts out killing
• 27:15
  it outside sales, like pushing through this first year gets
• 27:19
  herself to a point where she's getting recognition.
• 27:22
  Then they're seeing how she's working, then they're looking at
• 27:25
  her processes and this is the way she's doing it.
• 27:27
  Then that's gaining respect, presumably because those were
• 27:30
  going smoothly and you're kind of growing.
• 27:32
  And so there is a point, especially at the beginning of
• 27:34
  your career where there's a lot of people kind of watching what
• 27:37
  you're doing, not necessarily training you to do it, but
• 27:40
  there's these kind of gifts or these natural tendencies to new
• 27:43
  move forward. And so it was interesting when
• 27:45
  he said he noticed that and he he looked at that and he said,
• 27:49
  I'm, I'm picking this up on you. And then he can get creative.
• 27:53
  So having somebody else come in and see that is such a gift.
• 27:58
  It's a gift and I, I think it's an issue that people wait for
• 28:04
  that in a lot of leaders who aren't able to actually give
• 28:08
  them that because you have to advocate for yourself in your
• 28:11
  career. So I feel incredibly blessed to
• 28:14
  have had that because it kind of trained me to look for that in
• 28:17
  the people that work for me as well.
• 28:19
  Because I'm so grateful he could see my potential that I couldn't
• 28:23
  see in myself yet. I mean, I was young.
• 28:26
  I was like 2728 years old, you know?
• 28:29
  Sure. Yeah, yeah, that's, that was the
• 28:31
  point. It's like when you're young
• 28:33
  starting out, you kind of are like, OK, well, what am I
• 28:35
  supposed to do? Don't be afraid to show
• 28:38
  initiative. Don't be afraid to kind of have
• 28:39
  your own things because you will get noticed in that way.
• 28:42
  And so I love how you, you were just like, you know what, I'm
• 28:45
  going to go at this, I'm going to do the best I can.
• 28:46
  And then somebody did notice. It's a it's that balance of
• 28:49
  showing up and doing that and then having somebody else in
• 28:52
  your life that's going to pick up on it.
• 28:54
  Yeah, and I think the best leaders, and he was one of these
• 28:56
  people. And I think it's why, you know,
• 28:59
  10 years later, we all still meet at the Saint Regis at
• 29:03
  Dreamforce. He created fierce loyalty
• 29:07
  because we knew he would take care of us like he would protect
• 29:11
  us. Salesforce was growing so fast,
• 29:14
  it was so crazy. We didn't know which direction
• 29:16
  the business was going to go. Are they going to acquire
• 29:18
  another company? Is our team going to grow like
• 29:21
  we didn't we? It was an amazing rocket ship to
• 29:24
  be on with a lot of uncertainty in how your career could and
• 29:28
  would unfold there. And so having a leader that you
• 29:31
  knew would have your back was, I don't know, it took the pressure
• 29:36
  off of me. And what he said at the end,
• 29:38
  like, if you're going to fail, fail fast and you can always
• 29:40
  come back. Yeah, kind of gave me a
• 29:43
  parachute to just go take a risk and jump in.
• 29:46
  And it ended up being an incredible experience.
• 29:50
  However, I found the limit of not just it wasn't like imposter
• 29:56
  syndrome limit, it was how what I was doing was starting to
• 30:02
  affect all of the parts of my life and not just how old.
• 30:07
  Were you at this time? How old were you at this?
• 30:09
  Time How old was I like 35, two kids at home, young kids going
• 30:16
  through divorce or like getting ready to go through divorce.
• 30:19
  So like tons going on in my personal life too.
• 30:22
  And traveling all over the world and not traveling during Covad
• 30:26
  was like almost equally hard for me.
• 30:29
  And I, I ended up, I knew Twilio was going to have layoffs and I
• 30:34
  had to go through that kind of heartbreaking process, which I
• 30:38
  know a lot of your listeners have probably gone through.
• 30:40
  But when I was thinking about what I wanted to do next, I was
• 30:44
  like, I want a North America role.
• 30:47
  I want a smaller team. I want to be able to focus on
• 30:52
  technology that I love, work with great people and like, I'm
• 30:54
  not going to go to a bigger company or chase that leadership
• 30:59
  title again because it just it, it wasn't a match for what I was
• 31:05
  looking for. Even though I was making a ton
• 31:07
  of money, I was having success. I was like the most unhappy that
• 31:13
  I had been in a really long time.
• 31:15
  So it kind of started this process of introspection where I
• 31:19
  was like, all right, well, what do you need to be happy?
• 31:22
  And not being on calls with Europe at 6:00 in the morning in
• 31:27
  Asia a ton a night, and sacrificing all of the parts of
• 31:31
  my life and the things in my life that really lit me up.
• 31:35
  Was that so? Was there a specific incident
• 31:39
  that happened that kind of brought that all to light, or
• 31:41
  was it just a gradual kind of rising discontent that you
• 31:45
  noticed over time? No, I think it was just rising.
• 31:49
  It wasn't. It wasn't discontent in the
• 31:51
  moment. Like I actually was really
• 31:53
  enjoying what I was doing in the challenge of it, but I just felt
• 31:58
  my light dim a little bit everyday having to keep showing
• 32:02
  up in the way that I was being asked to show up with this
• 32:04
  calendar that was so full. And I, I just realized I started
• 32:10
  to pour from an empty cup. And I know what happens when you
• 32:14
  start to do that, like eventually your health goes,
• 32:18
  your relationships with your kids and all of the things that
• 32:21
  are important. I wasn't able to, like,
• 32:23
  prioritize Wellness and the things that I knew were going to
• 32:27
  be really important for me to show up with energy every day.
• 32:30
  And so, yeah. But that's remarkable that you
• 32:35
  were able to redefine your role into something that you could
• 32:40
  still do and still make money. And maybe you're not progressing
• 32:45
  upward in the traditional sense, but you're still fulfilling
• 32:49
  career needs. I find that really remarkable
• 32:53
  because what I'm hearing is you actually prevented burnout.
• 32:57
  And I mean, maybe you are already starting to experience
• 33:00
  it or feel it on the fringes, or maybe you can tell us that you
• 33:03
  did hit the wall and this was a reaction to that.
• 33:06
  But to me, it sounds like you knew the wall was coming and you
• 33:10
  wanted to prevent your health from getting partly with most
• 33:13
  people like myself, like hit the wall and got really sick or my
• 33:18
  partner hit the wall got really sick.
• 33:20
  And so I don't know. I just applaud how remarkable it
• 33:24
  was for you to make that decision in the moment.
• 33:26
  And we'll have permission to listeners to make that decision,
• 33:30
  right? Because the health part and the
• 33:33
  relationship damages are real. Yeah.
• 33:36
  And I want to understand more like in a practical sense, are
• 33:40
  there things that you can tell us symptoms that you had, not
• 33:44
  necessarily health wise, but just general feelings, like in a
• 33:47
  more tangible way? Because I think I know what
• 33:49
  you're saying. I think I've absolutely felt
• 33:51
  that at the same time. But if you can even describe
• 33:53
  more about what that looked like for you.
• 33:55
  What did, what did it mean to be unwell for you?
• 33:58
  Like when you're saying you're, you're we're not protecting your
• 34:00
  Wellness. What?
• 34:00
  What was that for you? Yeah, I think, I mean, I, I was
• 34:04
  starting to have some health symptoms.
• 34:06
  So I remember, I think we won't normalize a lot of these
• 34:10
  symptoms as working moms, especially of I had two little
• 34:14
  kids at home, they weren't sleeping all that well.
• 34:16
  So to me, I was just going, I'm really tired and I don't have
• 34:20
  energy and I'm not like excited to wake up in the morning
• 34:23
  because it's just that that's what happens.
• 34:27
  And then I remember going to my doctor and they're like, you
• 34:29
  have full blown like active Epstein Barr, chronic fatigue
• 34:34
  happening. And I feel like yeah, once.
• 34:38
  And is that like us? Is that a life induced thing or
• 34:40
  is that a genetic thing like I don't even?
• 34:42
  So I think almost all of us have Epstein Barr virus like in us
• 34:46
  from our childhood mono or you know, I, I, I, the statistics
• 34:52
  are out there. I think it's, it's one of those
• 34:54
  things that will stay dormant until stress, like chronic
• 34:59
  stress. So when you're, yeah, once
• 35:01
  you're stressed, the virus sees an opportunity to become active
• 35:05
  and starts to attack. And it's a super tricky virus to
• 35:09
  attack. So it took a long time for me to
• 35:11
  heal from it. Is there a pill I can take for
• 35:14
  this? What is there?
• 35:15
  Is it a bottle? Is there a?
• 35:18
  The miracle treatment for me was going to a naturopath and doing
• 35:22
  ozone and high dose vitamin CI VS so it's really and actually
• 35:28
  for it's what I would do before Dreamforce to Heather.
• 35:31
  So ozone's yeah, incredible. It basically the way that they
• 35:36
  described it to me is the Epstein virus is like it's like
• 35:39
  a Corkscrew. It will Corkscrew like itself
• 35:42
  deep into you, your organs and things when it's active and you
• 35:46
  got to draw it out. So the ozone actually draws it
• 35:50
  out into the bloodstream and then you flood it with high dose
• 35:52
  vitamin C and bam, it helps your immune system actually kill.
• 35:57
  And this isn't just Epstein Barr, it's any virus.
• 36:00
  So anytime I'm like going on a long trip, Dreamforce super
• 36:04
  stressful thing, go do that and I wish.
• 36:07
  I would have known this. I was notorious.
• 36:10
  I got sick every Dreamforce every Christmas for like 10
• 36:14
  years. Yep.
• 36:15
  No wonder. No.
• 36:16
  So you just go to your doctor and or naturopath and say, and
• 36:21
  it's a night, it's IV transmitted.
• 36:23
  Is that? Yeah, what you said?
• 36:24
  Yeah. I would say probably Naturopath
• 36:26
  Ozone IV. It's a crazy process.
• 36:30
  They actually take your blood out of you and put it in a bag,
• 36:35
  and then in the bag they shoot the ozone in it.
• 36:37
  Ozone's just oxygen, like I think it's three oxygen
• 36:40
  molecules and it turns. I didn't know if we were
• 36:43
  starting to talk about like the blood boy thing where you take
• 36:45
  the the blood of a 11 year old boy and like transfer it.
• 36:50
  Like that live long guy or whatever.
• 36:52
  Yes, I've heard of Brian Johnson.
• 36:54
  Brian Johnson, who has a child that he like, sucks blood out of
• 36:57
  every day. That goes wild, by the way.
• 37:00
  Yes, he is wild. I've only seen this in
• 37:02
  television shows. You're telling me this is a real
• 37:04
  thing that real people do? Yes.
• 37:06
  Yes. Yeah, no, 100%.
• 37:09
  I met a lady in a pool in Puerto Vallarta and she looked crazy
• 37:13
  young for her age. It was like freaking me out.
• 37:15
  And this is what she this is what she does.
• 37:18
  But anyway, that's not what we're talking about.
• 37:20
  It's my own blood. This is.
• 37:21
  Oxygen. I wasn't stealing my kids blood,
• 37:26
  but yeah, it like turns hot pink.
• 37:28
  It's like highly oxygenated and then they just put your own
• 37:30
  blood back in. It's crazy.
• 37:33
  So anyway, but even that is a symptom of the fact that like, I
• 37:39
  realized I wanted to create a life I didn't have to heal from.
• 37:44
  So the reason why that's happening is because I'm
• 37:47
  chronically stressed. And if it's not Epstein Barr,
• 37:51
  it's just going to be another thing that then I have to go
• 37:53
  find a treatment for. And I'm like, I, I don't want to
• 37:56
  be on that hamster wheel. So can you.
• 37:59
  Say that again what you just said about the heal from.
• 38:03
  Create a life. You create a life you don't have
• 38:06
  to heal from. Yeah.
• 38:09
  And all I'm hearing is Alden save me.
• 38:13
  I am chronically stressed. Chronically stressed.
• 38:18
  We all are. OK, so that this is blowing my
• 38:22
  mind and I'm going to absolutely look into this and we will Clay,
• 38:25
  we need to get a link to this. If there is a solution to this
• 38:28
  fatigue I want I want to hear all the information I possibly
• 38:31
  can. So any anything else that you
• 38:34
  would call out from just like a practical?
• 38:37
  So I realized, I think Blakely, to your point of feeling like I
• 38:42
  am a chronically stressed is actually our nervous systems
• 38:46
  being chronically overburdened. Like our nervous systems were
• 38:49
  never designed, our little animal nervous systems were
• 38:52
  never designed for miles long to do lists and notifications and
• 38:57
  screens and artificial light and all of the things.
• 39:00
  And so for me, it was yes, I want to take care of my body.
• 39:04
  And I did that pretty well. Like eat well, you know, take
• 39:08
  your supplements, do all those things.
• 39:12
  One of the things that changed my life.
• 39:14
  And Blakely, I know that we've talked about this a little bit
• 39:18
  is breath work. And I bring it up because the
• 39:23
  first breath work I ever went to, I was like, that is the
• 39:28
  stress pressure, pressure release valve that I didn't know
• 39:31
  existed. And I was blown away.
• 39:34
  I'm like, how can something as simple as the breath that has
• 39:36
  been that I have access to 24 hours a day, seven days a week
• 39:41
  have such a dramatic effect? And so I ended up diving into
• 39:46
  learning about how to heal my nervous system.
• 39:49
  And so a lot of what I do, I think oriented more towards
• 39:52
  that. That has had the biggest impact
• 39:53
  for me. But I, you know, we talked about
• 39:56
  this a few episodes back where like one practice I had before
• 40:00
  going into a meeting that I was really, really nervous about was
• 40:03
  just to do like stare into the mirror, look at myself, and then
• 40:06
  like do these big deep breaths. And I didn't know it, but I
• 40:11
  think it's probably whatever breath work does physiologically
• 40:15
  is the reason I did that. It was helpful.
• 40:18
  And it feels to me like this is something that should be taught
• 40:22
  at work, like. You think about, you know, how
• 40:26
  in elementary school the kids go and they do like their
• 40:29
  calisthenics at the beginning of the day and then they go into
• 40:31
  their day because they can just focus better when they do that
• 40:33
  little workout and, you know, beginning of the day.
• 40:36
  Wouldn't it be great if Alden was there or someone at your
• 40:40
  company was taking you through breath work before you know the
• 40:43
  start of your day? Yeah, I.
• 40:45
  Actually, I tried to do it one day at the lunch table and
• 40:48
  everyone just made so much fun of me.
• 40:51
  It has to, you have to have intention around it because yes,
• 40:55
  it would be, it would be amazing.
• 40:56
  It would be The leader has to value that.
• 40:59
  Yeah, Blakely, one crazy thing was the first breath work that I
• 41:03
  did that I was talking about at the end, my eyes were closed and
• 41:09
  I saw myself doing breath work in the boardroom.
• 41:13
  And I was like, whoa, OK. And it was this little hint of
• 41:17
  like, there are people in the corporate world that need this.
• 41:20
  And what I saw was like, if people did this, if Marc Benioff
• 41:27
  brought me in to do breath work for the leaders of Salesforce
• 41:30
  and they are releasing pressure and they are operating from a
• 41:34
  place of calming their nervous system and they're connecting to
• 41:37
  their body, which is how we connect to our intuition and get
• 41:40
  out of the stress loop. I could see the impact that that
• 41:44
  would have on the company, like people being embodied leaders
• 41:48
  making better decisions, making decisions that align with the
• 41:55
  their values and the company's values in a better way.
• 41:58
  Because tech, I'm like, tech can be used for good, tech could be
• 42:01
  used for bad. Like the decisions that a lot of
• 42:04
  these people are making, especially these AI companies
• 42:06
  right now, I'm like, I want to work with you.
• 42:10
  And yeah, like I think it could have a bigger impact.
• 42:15
  Well, isn't it also just the it's the human part of it that's
• 42:19
  coming out and it's what we actually do have to offer.
• 42:21
  And if we're learning, if we're taking that time as a human to
• 42:24
  leverage our breath, which AI does not have a breath, it is
• 42:28
  going to bring us back to that source and that meditative
• 42:31
  source about how to leverage everything on the external.
• 42:35
  Yeah, I think we need to like bring this into real world.
• 42:38
  Like can you, like could you show us a little bit, Alden?
• 42:43
  Is that something we can do on air?
• 42:45
  Yeah, why not? Ask Clay, do we have?
• 42:48
  Permission. I've been waiting the entire
• 42:51
  time for you to say we're doing this, so let's go.
• 42:54
  I'm ready. I just.
• 42:56
  I just want to see what happens. Well, and I don't know that I'll
• 42:59
  lead you through like the full blown expression process, which
• 43:04
  is where you get all the, yeah, the nastiness out, but.
• 43:08
  Maybe something that like if I'm listening and I hear this and
• 43:12
  then I'm like in my car on my way to work, can I do this maybe
• 43:16
  or something like that? They're either walking down the
• 43:18
  street as I walk back into Dreamforce.
• 43:20
  Like just close your. Eyes and go no, this is perfect.
• 43:23
  What can I be doing? Yeah, seriously.
• 43:25
  So Huberman just talked about this, and he had his team study,
• 43:30
  OK, what is the form of breath that calms the nervous system
• 43:34
  the fastest? And it's called the
• 43:36
  physiological sigh. And so essentially all you have
• 43:40
  to do is you breathe in and you fill your lungs as full as you
• 43:44
  possibly can, and then you add a little bit more and then you do
• 43:50
  a really long slow exhale out your mouth.
• 43:54
  OK, so I want you guys to do this.
• 43:56
  I'm going to guide you through. So take your deepest inhale,
• 44:00
  feel feel your lungs feel like balloons and 360° around you.
• 44:05
  So breathe in. And when you can't feel like you
• 44:09
  can breathe anymore, breathe a little more in and then let it
• 44:13
  go slowly. And all you have to do is do
• 44:20
  that three times. So take another deep breath in,
• 44:27
  breathe in a little bit more, and then let that's.
• 44:30
  The hard part? Don't talk.
• 44:37
  And I that's. The hard Part 1 more sorry.
• 44:40
  OK, one more and let it go and I don't know about you guys.
• 44:51
  I can feel like you just feel calmer.
• 44:54
  The cool thing about the physiological side is it's a
• 44:56
  reflex. So we actually do it in our
• 44:58
  sleep. If our CO2 levels get too high,
• 45:01
  animals do it. You can see it like I was even
• 45:03
  watching my cat. They do this little like so it
• 45:09
  immediately tells you to calm down.
• 45:11
  So you have a big speech to give.
• 45:13
  You feel nervous, your stress in the middle of the day between
• 45:16
  meetings. All it takes is those 3 breaths
• 45:19
  to reset your nervous system. And am I breathing in my mouth?
• 45:24
  You weren't breathing at all, you were just asking questions.
• 45:27
  No, I wasn't. I said the less little bit is
• 45:29
  hard to get. It's hard to get and then I'm
• 45:33
  here and I'm like. Stomach or through your lungs?
• 45:36
  I Maybe you were breathing in the wrong place.
• 45:39
  That's that's a problem. Breathing in the wrong place is
• 45:41
  hilarious. Sorry.
• 45:42
  Continue. Well, there's multiple ways.
• 45:44
  You know you're a singer, Clay, right?
• 45:46
  Like you got your chest breath and your belly breath.
• 45:49
  What is that? I'm gonna stand up and do the
• 45:51
  belly. OK?
• 45:53
  OK. Also, this is my pasta belly.
• 45:55
  It's it's it's. We call that a lot, baby.
• 45:59
  OK, I love it. OK, so I'm breathing.
• 46:01
  I wanna see vulnerable. I wanna see your food baby get
• 46:05
  bigger. Just.
• 46:06
  Now like taking our. Clothes off so I'm doing this
• 46:10
  when I'm breathing out. Nope.
• 46:12
  Breathing in into your stomach. OK, so I start with the food
• 46:18
  baby and then I'm breathing. So breathe in, it should get
• 46:21
  bigger. Nope, breathe in.
• 46:23
  It should get. Bigger.
• 46:23
  That's what I was doing wrong. I know a lot of us do it
• 46:26
  backwards. I was doing it backwards.
• 46:28
  OK, so I breathe in and then the stomach goes out.
• 46:32
  Yep, is. That what you're saying?
• 46:33
  Fill it with air. Fill it with air and then a
• 46:38
  little more. Yep.
• 46:41
  And then let it go and it should go in perfect.
• 46:48
  I wish you could go in just a little bit more you.
• 46:52
  Did it? But then I did it.
• 46:56
  I did it, but I was doing it backwards.
• 46:59
  A lot of people come backwards and honestly, this is so hard.
• 47:02
  And that little extra sip. We breathe so shallowly all day,
• 47:06
  like we're probably barely even getting in there.
• 47:09
  So it's like part of it, the more you do it, you kind of are
• 47:12
  stretching out those parts of your lungs that you're not
• 47:15
  typically filling up. Is it?
• 47:17
  OK. If you breathe out through your
• 47:20
  like, breathe in through your belly and then bring breathe up
• 47:23
  the lungs for that second part. Do you know what I mean?
• 47:27
  Yeah. You almost have to, like, you
• 47:28
  almost feel like. I like to feel like I'm
• 47:30
  breathing myself up. And then yeah, there's just this
• 47:33
  little extra. Yeah, guys.
• 47:36
  I think I've been breathing backwards the whole time.
• 47:39
  Your whole life. It makes a lot of sense.
• 47:42
  You're not alone, Heather. I think I've been breathing
• 47:45
  backwards my whole life because I've been because it it
• 47:47
  tightens. It's if you do it backwards now,
• 47:49
  Blakely it you'll tighten up and it keeps it all here where
• 47:52
  you're. Just Heather.
• 47:53
  I think it's because as women, we are always, we are always
• 47:57
  sucking our we're always holding ourselves.
• 47:59
  Holding our stomachs in. We are and so it's more of, and
• 48:04
  that's another good thing to like fight that autopilot of
• 48:08
  always sucking. It I have a cautious of when I
• 48:13
  cautious of when I look naked on the podcast.
• 48:15
  Sorry, Heather, normally I'm supposed to actually tell you,
• 48:18
  hey, sorry, can you put like a jacket on or something else?
• 48:20
  But I just, I get so distracted by the freaky what that painting
• 48:26
  like printed picture behind you. I I didn't even watch any of the
• 48:31
  breathing demonstration. I was just staring into the eyes
• 48:34
  of the demon behind. My gosh, Clay.
• 48:36
  Well, you really missed out, okay, because it was a fantastic
• 48:39
  demonstration. You need to go.
• 48:41
  Back I was actually paying attention and you did a great
• 48:42
  job. Thank you.
• 48:44
  Here's what I loved the most about it, I think.
• 48:48
  I think it does take three. I mean, maybe you can do it in
• 48:51
  one, but after the third one, I actually felt the like a warm
• 48:57
  tingle sensation go down my legs and through my toes, which was
• 49:00
  really strange. Like I didn't.
• 49:02
  Is that normal? Yeah, it's that shift from your
• 49:06
  fight or flight to actually a more calm state.
• 49:10
  And what I will tell you is we cannot be our best if we are in
• 49:14
  fight or flight. Like literally your body is
• 49:17
  ready to go pounce and attack and protect you at that.
• 49:22
  Like, I don't know about you, but I'm not like in my creative
• 49:24
  energy and I'm not really probably going to make the best
• 49:27
  decisions in that state. So what a simple thing those 3
• 49:30
  Ross like any. I felt a little light headed,
• 49:33
  but in a good way. Not like I'm dizzy, it was more
• 49:36
  like I'm calm. It was like a space opened up
• 49:41
  inside my head. Well, and let me just tell you,
• 49:44
  a full breath work session, it's hard, it's challenging because
• 49:49
  what you're trying to do is actually ramp your body up in a
• 49:52
  way that allows you to express all those that stored trauma and
• 49:59
  stress that you didn't actually get a chance to express.
• 50:03
  So what happens is we suppress the stress and then we might
• 50:08
  become depressed and then literally, yeah, in a breath
• 50:13
  work session, you are working to express all of that and then go
• 50:17
  into that calm state. And so it's mind blowing how
• 50:24
  much can come out. I mean, laugh, cry, scream,
• 50:26
  yell. I've seen it all, but it it's
• 50:29
  incredible. So I'm happy to lead you guys
• 50:31
  through a full breath work session someday.
• 50:32
  I would love to do that. I'm happy the recipient of all
• 50:37
  these tips. I could way rather do that than
• 50:40
  the pole dancing we still have to do.
• 50:42
  No, we are doing the pole dancing.
• 50:45
  We're going to love it. We are.
• 50:49
  OK, here's the thing. I know you just launched the
• 50:53
  Conscious Leadership Collective. Tell us a little bit more about
• 50:56
  what you've got going on there. Yeah, so I started dabbling and
• 51:01
  posting about this stuff on LinkedIn and I was like watching
• 51:03
  it blow up. I was like, oh, there's people
• 51:06
  out here who care about this. And it still felt a little, I
• 51:10
  know it still feels like a little taboo sometimes to post
• 51:12
  on LinkedIn, which I just fight that and do it anyway.
• 51:17
  But what I was craving was I was like, I want to connect with
• 51:21
  people who care about this stuff.
• 51:23
  And I also want to give permission to people to explore
• 51:27
  and to learn. And we have all, we all have so
• 51:30
  much to learn from each other as well.
• 51:32
  And so I wanted to create a space for us to do that.
• 51:34
  And so I just launched in October.
• 51:36
  We're a couple weeks in and opening the doors again in
• 51:39
  November. But yeah, honestly, getting in
• 51:43
  there to just connect with people has been great to do.
• 51:48
  I've been posting little breath work and some meditations and
• 51:51
  things like that, having a discussion area to lean in to,
• 51:56
  all of these topics and then an accountability challenge every
• 52:00
  month. Blakely's actually the All Star
• 52:02
  of the accountability challenge, which is a morning I think you
• 52:05
  are. That's why.
• 52:09
  I, I created what I wanted and I'm like, I need accountability.
• 52:13
  I need other people in this world to hold me accountable to
• 52:17
  all of these goals and all of these things.
• 52:19
  Because it's so easy when you're in on Zoom meetings with people
• 52:23
  and in this culture of like grit and hustle to forget how
• 52:27
  important it is. And so essentially the community
• 52:30
  is just a place to come back to for that.
• 52:32
  Is it an online community or? Yeah, it's in Slack.
• 52:36
  And then we do calls and then my dream is definitely I want to do
• 52:40
  retreats, I want to do in person work.
• 52:41
  That's where The Big Bang for the buck transformation happens.
• 52:45
  So that's where. Are you located Alden?
• 52:48
  Are you in California or? Scottsdale.
• 52:51
  Arizona, OK. That's like the epicenter of.
• 52:53
  Yeah. It is retreat.
• 52:55
  World, we will be happy to be your first retreat.
• 52:57
  We can get some we should, we should do.
• 53:00
  We should do a guest a not all business guest retreat.
• 53:05
  If you've been a guest on this show, yes, organize that mind.
• 53:09
  Blown Heather. Great idea.
• 53:12
  I love that. You know what I also love?
• 53:15
  I wrote down this quote from a conversation that you and I had
• 53:19
  not too long ago, and I love this quote.
• 53:22
  It was be the creator of your life versus being a victim to
• 53:27
  the corporate world. And what I love about this
• 53:31
  collective is they're all generally in the corporate world
• 53:37
  in some shape or another. A lot of them are leaders in the
• 53:40
  corporate world. And yet it is like this
• 53:45
  permission to kind of weave in and out of your job and into
• 53:50
  Wellness. And so we all kind of know what
• 53:52
  we're talking about, like the, the pain of the corporate world,
• 53:56
  but we're not a victim of it, right?
• 53:57
  Like we're sitting in this really cool space and we're
• 54:00
  talking about meditation and, and a lot of people are doing
• 54:03
  that, I think to improve their performance.
• 54:05
  A lot of people are doing it to give themselves permission to
• 54:08
  maybe step back a little bit. But I just love how you've
• 54:11
  blended those two things together so elegantly.
• 54:16
  I see it as you, you know, I know we started this podcast out
• 54:20
  talking about, you know, you have encouraged to go back down
• 54:24
  the ladder to me, I, I feel like this is where it was all
• 54:28
  leading. I mean, I think you, you got to
• 54:31
  where you needed to be and then now you, you're kind of putting
• 54:34
  up the next ladder for people who want to go this way and, and
• 54:37
  do it this way. So you're just creating another
• 54:41
  type of way to grow as a leader and rise in that personal thing.
• 54:45
  So I don't see it as a back step at all.
• 54:48
  I think it is 100% a pivot that's going to open up so much
• 54:53
  for all of us. I love that.
• 54:56
  Thank you so much for saying that because I love that kind of
• 54:59
  reframe because yeah, there's this negative connotation to
• 55:03
  going down. No, I'm just like, I'm creating
• 55:05
  a new one and I have so much to share and so much that I want to
• 55:11
  help other people with because I don't know about you, but
• 55:14
  something happens in the middle of your life where you're just
• 55:16
  like, I should feel happy. I did everything they said that
• 55:20
  I should do. I'm making money.
• 55:21
  I have the title, I have the everything I want and the kids.
• 55:25
  Why am I not happy? And that's the moment where I
• 55:31
  want to catch people actually. Because I think realigning with
• 55:38
  who you want to be and how you want to feel every day and
• 55:40
  creating a a group of people who are on that journey so you don't
• 55:43
  feel alone. Yeah, that's my new ladder.
• 55:47
  Yeah, it is. You're just stepping across,
• 55:49
  which is a scary thing to do if you're at the top of a ladder,
• 55:52
  stepping across to another, you know, and then like pulling that
• 55:54
  out and going to the next level. But you had the courage to do
• 55:57
  it, and we're going to get to benefit it from it and thousands
• 56:01
  and thousands more. So thank you.
• 56:03
  Thank you. All right.
• 56:04
  Heather Oh, What's our tradition?
• 56:08
  Oh yeah, before we let you go and before I have to go back
• 56:10
  into this chaos, I am going to do three more breaths for real
• 56:13
  though, the right way before I get leave this hotel room.
• 56:15
  No joke, I will 100% yes. I am not on camera this time.
• 56:19
  Do not make a reel out of my belly, clay.
• 56:21
  Yes, we will. That 100%.
• 56:24
  Not a reel. I knew you were going.
• 56:25
  To say this, if people want to see the if people want to see
• 56:28
  the belly, they need to subscribe.
• 56:30
  Hey, hey, that's the real. If you want to see Heather do
• 56:35
  the breath work for real, go subscribe to our YouTube.
• 56:42
  You're going to get some real weird subscribers, Heather.
• 56:44
  Yeah, that's OK. I'll take anything right now.
• 56:49
  OK, so we're doing Smile of the Week.
• 56:50
  Yeah, we're doing OK. So yes.
• 56:53
  So Alden, we ask all of our guests before we let you go,
• 56:56
  what brought a smile to your face this week?
• 56:58
  We also answer it too, but that's something we ask
• 57:02
  everybody. So I'm going to go first because
• 57:05
  I had the best weekend. I went back to Michigan State
• 57:09
  football homecoming had such a great time.
• 57:12
  The game was horrible. We left it.
• 57:13
  Pack that in your suitcase. No, Nick bought it for his son.
• 57:19
  Oh, because you went to Michigan?
• 57:22
  Michigan first. And then?
• 57:24
  Did you think that I packed a little football with me to take
• 57:27
  home for just the? Smile of the Week is what I.
• 57:31
  Thought, Oh no, it was just sitting here now the and friends
• 57:35
  and just we we had the absolute best time and they're all
• 57:39
  friends of the pod too, by the way, so we had a lot of fun
• 57:42
  talking about that. Thank.
• 57:43
  You friends of the pod. Yes, they're wonderful.
• 57:46
  It was great. What about you?
• 57:48
  I my smile of the week, my almost 18 year old son who is
• 57:54
  looking at colleges, flew out to the East Coast to look out some
• 57:58
  at some colleges in Vermont, New Hampshire and New York, which we
• 58:02
  have never even like really looked or spent much time on the
• 58:05
  East Coast. So it was a big trip.
• 58:07
  And you know how when you raise your kids, you just like pray
• 58:11
  these little pray like prayers like when you're around other
• 58:14
  people, remember to say Please remember to say thank you like.
• 58:17
  Don't. Embarrass me, chew with your
• 58:19
  mouth closed, all those things. And I he's on his way home on a
• 58:22
  flight coming back from Boston right now.
• 58:25
  And the mom that he was staying with, the mom of his best friend
• 58:30
  sent me the most amazing text saying what an extraordinary
• 58:37
  child you have and you've raised.
• 58:39
  And he was laughed. He made them dinner.
• 58:43
  He just brought so much joy into their household.
• 58:46
  I just, I mean, I'm actually crying my smile.
• 58:50
  It was amazing to hear. And I'm going to miss him when
• 58:53
  he goes to college. But that's another day, another
• 58:55
  tear after some breakfast. Good job.
• 58:58
  Mama. That's awesome.
• 58:59
  Say you did good. Yeah.
• 59:02
  My smile of the week. I'm just going with the first
• 59:05
  thing that popped into my head. Not overthinking, but I just got
• 59:09
  2 new kittens and I just, I lost my cat of 20 years, so she had
• 59:15
  been with me my whole adult life about a month ago.
• 59:18
  And I didn't know if we were ready.
• 59:20
  But these two little things have brought so much joy to the boys.
• 59:25
  And actually, I think it's like watching them have to take care
• 59:28
  of somebody other than themselves.
• 59:30
  And like, watching that process was actually really cool.
• 59:34
  But yeah, they're so sweet. That's so.
• 59:36
  Sweet. What are their names?
• 59:38
  Oh, so good. Their their names are Bryce and
• 59:42
  Zion, 'cause we adopted them right from that area.
• 59:45
  Those are our two favorite parks to to visit in Utah, southern
• 59:50
  Utah, so Ditto. Got amazing, cute and a
• 59:55
  heartfelt for Kay. Oh, so Alden, we also lost our
• 59:58
  family cat about a week ago. And so we've been kind of going
• 1:00:02
  through that. And so it's really encouraging
• 1:00:04
  to hear that your you said your two sons are taking or your two
• 1:00:09
  sons are taking care of the cats.
• 1:00:11
  And that's just really encouraging and just it's
• 1:00:14
  amazing to hear that you can experience.
• 1:00:17
  Grief and then find joy and new life and it's all kind of part
• 1:00:22
  of that process. It's amazing.
• 1:00:23
  My smile of the week is kind of related to that.
• 1:00:26
  We've been having kind of a tough time because our cat
• 1:00:29
  passed away and it's been really sad and we've been going through
• 1:00:32
  that. And so Ray and I, my wife, we
• 1:00:37
  went out for our anniversary dinner and we had kind of had,
• 1:00:40
  you know, just like a really tough, like 2 months and then
• 1:00:44
  going out to dinner and we just had like amazing food.
• 1:00:46
  And just for a minute, we were able to like get out of, you
• 1:00:50
  know, our house and go sit down. And it's our favorite place.
• 1:00:53
  And they had some amazing food. And we were talking so much that
• 1:00:57
  the person who runs the, the front, I don't, I don't know
• 1:01:02
  what the, the Hostess. Yeah, Hostess came over and
• 1:01:05
  said, so we do have other people that need to sit here and it's
• 1:01:10
  time for you to go. And I.
• 1:01:13
  And we're like, oh, I was like, yeah, great.
• 1:01:16
  Thank you for letting me know. Great.
• 1:01:17
  We'll get out of here, you know. So then we like we walk outside,
• 1:01:20
  you know, and we're like laughing and then it starts
• 1:01:23
  raining. So we have to like run to the
• 1:01:24
  car. We just kind of have like a fun
• 1:01:26
  nice just kind of like just not an escape, but like because we
• 1:01:30
  talked about everything at dinner, but we just had a nice
• 1:01:33
  kind of moment to experience something new and fun and and I
• 1:01:39
  just kind of embrace the whole of everything.
• 1:01:41
  But yeah, it was just a nice dinner.
• 1:01:44
  But we kind of my the point of the story was that we went way
• 1:01:48
  over and we were supposed to get out of.
• 1:01:50
  We had no idea anything else was going on.
• 1:01:52
  We were having. Great, Clay.
• 1:01:54
  That exact same thing happened to Nick and I on our honeymoon.
• 1:01:57
  I just got married in July, Alden.
• 1:01:58
  And so we went on a honeymoon in Italy and they, the guy came
• 1:02:03
  over the same thing like 2 1/2 hours.
• 1:02:05
  And it was a special table on the water and everything.
• 1:02:07
  I mean, it was clear that we would not be the only ones that
• 1:02:10
  wanted that table all night, but we were oblivious.
• 1:02:13
  And so then they said, can we invite you over for some
• 1:02:15
  limoncello at the bar? Sure.
• 1:02:18
  And we moved you away. I was like, absolutely.
• 1:02:21
  It was. It was add to the point where at
• 1:02:23
  first we didn't realize what happened until then we did.
• 1:02:26
  And we're like, oops. So you guys, I feel like such an
• 1:02:29
  asshole. I'm the kind of person who knows
• 1:02:30
  that's only two hours. And so I'm like, we got to hurry
• 1:02:34
  up and eat. Like we got to get our drink,
• 1:02:35
  like we got a dessert. Like what the Yeah, This is why.
• 1:02:39
  You're an A conscious leadership.
• 1:02:41
  Yeah. No, I'm not.
• 1:02:43
  I need the you. Just called yourself then.
• 1:02:44
  Well, I you do. And I'm I'm still not.
• 1:02:46
  I'll just do the collective. OK, so on that note, we're not
• 1:02:50
  going to say goodbye. We're just going to take a big
• 1:02:51
  breath and wave. OK, let's do it.
• 1:02:55
  Ready. OK.
• 1:02:55
  Ready. OK.
• 1:03:04
  Thank you Alden, you're the best.
• 1:03:06
  Loved having you on the show too.
• 1:03:09
  Hard looking at your faces. We will drop your collective in
• 1:03:13
  the show notes. So everyone go
• 1:03:15
  aldeneffect.com.aldeneffect.com. Thank you guys.
• 1:03:21
  Till next time.