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Notes 47: Stop Swallowing Your Truth to Keep the Peace · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Hey,
• 0:17
  girl.
• 0:18
  Hey.
• 0:18
  Welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  heart,
• 0:19
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:20
  talk.
• 0:20
  I'm
• 0:20
  Yaya,
• 0:21
  your
• 0:21
  confidence
• 0:21
  and
• 0:22
  mindset
• 0:22
  coach,
• 0:22
  here
• 0:23
  to
• 0:23
  remind
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  of
• 0:23
  who
• 0:23
  you
• 0:24
  really
• 0:24
  are.
• 0:24
  Not
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  watered
• 0:25
  down
• 0:25
  version
• 0:26
  that
• 0:26
  you've
• 0:26
  learned
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  perform
• 0:27
  for
• 0:27
  the
• 0:27
  world.
• 0:28
  And
• 0:28
  today's
• 0:28
  note.
• 0:29
  Ooh.
• 0:30
  It's
• 0:30
  one
• 0:30
  of
• 0:30
  those
• 0:30
  ones
• 0:30
  that
• 0:30
  might
• 0:31
  sting
• 0:31
  a
• 0:31
  little
• 0:31
  bit,
• 0:32
  but
• 0:32
  I
• 0:32
  promise
• 0:32
  you,
• 0:32
  it
• 0:33
  is
• 0:33
  for
• 0:33
  your
• 0:33
  good.
• 0:34
  It's
• 0:34
  for
• 0:35
  the
• 0:35
  woman
• 0:35
  who
• 0:35
  knows
• 0:36
  how
• 0:36
  to
• 0:36
  hold
• 0:36
  her
• 0:36
  tongue,
• 0:37
  who
• 0:37
  smiles
• 0:38
  when
• 0:38
  she
• 0:38
  wants
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  scream,
• 0:39
  who
• 0:39
  keeps
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  peace
• 0:40
  on
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  outside,
• 0:41
  but
• 0:41
  she's
• 0:41
  crumbling
• 0:42
  on
• 0:42
  the
• 0:42
  inside.
• 0:43
  Because
• 0:44
  somewhere
• 0:44
  along
• 0:44
  the
• 0:44
  way,
• 0:45
  she's
• 0:45
  learned
• 0:45
  that
• 0:45
  staying
• 0:45
  quiet
• 0:46
  was
• 0:46
  safer
• 0:46
  than
• 0:46
  being
• 0:47
  honest.
• 0:47
  That
• 0:48
  being
• 0:48
  easy
• 0:48
  to
• 0:48
  love
• 0:49
  meant
• 0:49
  being
• 0:50
  easy
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  overlook.
• 0:51
  But
• 0:52
  self
• 0:52
  love
• 0:52
  doesn't
• 0:53
  sound
• 0:53
  like
• 0:53
  silence.
• 0:54
  Soft
• 0:54
  love
• 0:55
  has
• 0:55
  a
• 0:55
  voice.
• 0:55
  And
• 0:56
  that
• 0:56
  voice
• 0:56
  is
• 0:56
  yours.
• 1:07
  Now
• 1:07
  let's
• 1:07
  start
• 1:07
  with
• 1:07
  some
• 1:08
  truth.
• 1:09
  Most
• 1:09
  women,
• 1:09
  especially
• 1:10
  high
• 1:10
  achieving,
• 1:11
  high
• 1:11
  capacity
• 1:12
  women,
• 1:13
  have
• 1:13
  been
• 1:13
  socialized
• 1:14
  to
• 1:14
  be
• 1:14
  easy.
• 1:16
  Easy
• 1:17
  to
• 1:17
  talk
• 1:17
  to,
• 1:18
  easy
• 1:18
  to
• 1:18
  work
• 1:18
  with,
• 1:19
  easy
• 1:19
  to
• 1:20
  date,
• 1:21
  easy
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  overlook.
• 1:23
  So
• 1:23
  we
• 1:23
  shrink.
• 1:24
  We
• 1:24
  tiptoe,
• 1:25
  we
• 1:25
  bat
• 1:25
  our
• 1:25
  tongues.
• 1:26
  We
• 1:26
  don't
• 1:27
  correct
• 1:27
  the
• 1:27
  mispronunciation.
• 1:29
  We
• 1:29
  say
• 1:29
  it's
• 1:29
  fine
• 1:30
  when
• 1:30
  it's
• 1:30
  not
• 1:31
  fine.
• 1:31
  And
• 1:32
  over
• 1:32
  time,
• 1:32
  that
• 1:33
  silence
• 1:33
  doesn't
• 1:33
  feel
• 1:34
  strong.
• 1:34
  It
• 1:34
  feels
• 1:35
  suffocating.
• 1:36
  You
• 1:36
  leave
• 1:37
  conversations
• 1:37
  feeling
• 1:38
  drained.
• 1:38
  You
• 1:39
  rehearse
• 1:39
  what
• 1:39
  you
• 1:40
  should
• 1:40
  have
• 1:40
  said
• 1:40
  in
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  shower
• 1:41
  the
• 1:41
  next
• 1:41
  day.
• 1:42
  You
• 1:42
  become
• 1:42
  resentful,
• 1:43
  not
• 1:43
  just
• 1:44
  because
• 1:44
  of
• 1:44
  them,
• 1:45
  but
• 1:45
  of
• 1:45
  yourself.
• 1:46
  Because
• 1:47
  deep
• 1:47
  down,
• 1:47
  you
• 1:48
  knew
• 1:48
  better,
• 1:49
  but
• 1:49
  you
• 1:49
  didn't
• 1:50
  feel
• 1:50
  like
• 1:50
  you
• 1:50
  had
• 1:50
  the
• 1:50
  permission
• 1:51
  to
• 1:51
  say
• 1:51
  it.
• 1:53
  Now
• 1:53
  let's
• 1:53
  call
• 1:53
  it
• 1:54
  what
• 1:54
  it
• 1:54
  is.
• 1:55
  Swallowing
• 1:55
  your
• 1:56
  truth
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  keep
• 1:56
  the
• 1:57
  peace
• 1:57
  is
• 1:57
  a
• 1:57
  form
• 1:58
  of
• 1:58
  self
• 1:58
  betrayal.
• 1:59
  I
• 2:00
  hate
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  say
• 2:00
  it,
• 2:00
  but
• 2:01
  you
• 2:01
  know
• 2:01
  I'm
• 2:01
  always
• 2:01
  gonna
• 2:02
  be
• 2:02
  real
• 2:02
  with
• 2:02
  you.
• 2:03
  It
• 2:03
  looks
• 2:04
  like
• 2:04
  nodding
• 2:04
  in
• 2:05
  agreement
• 2:05
  when
• 2:05
  your
• 2:05
  gut
• 2:06
  says
• 2:06
  nope.
• 2:07
  Saying
• 2:07
  yes
• 2:08
  to
• 2:08
  help
• 2:09
  when
• 2:09
  you
• 2:09
  don't
• 2:09
  have
• 2:09
  the
• 2:10
  capacity,
• 2:11
  smiling
• 2:12
  when
• 2:12
  somebody
• 2:12
  crosses
• 2:13
  a
• 2:13
  boundary,
• 2:14
  and
• 2:14
  apologizing
• 2:15
  when
• 2:15
  you're
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  one
• 2:16
  who's
• 2:16
  been
• 2:16
  hurt.
• 2:17
  But
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  know
• 2:18
  what
• 2:18
  that
• 2:18
  does?
• 2:19
  It
• 2:19
  chips
• 2:20
  away
• 2:20
  at
• 2:20
  your
• 2:21
  self
• 2:21
  trust.
• 2:22
  Because
• 2:22
  every
• 2:23
  time
• 2:23
  you
• 2:23
  override
• 2:24
  your
• 2:24
  truth,
• 2:25
  your
• 2:25
  nervous
• 2:26
  system
• 2:26
  clocks
• 2:26
  it.
• 2:27
  Your
• 2:27
  body
• 2:27
  knows
• 2:28
  when
• 2:28
  you
• 2:28
  abandon
• 2:29
  yourself.
• 2:29
  And
• 2:30
  your
• 2:30
  confidence.
• 2:30
  Ooh.
• 2:32
  Your
• 2:32
  confidence
• 2:33
  takes
• 2:33
  a
• 2:33
  hit.
• 2:34
  That's
• 2:35
  why
• 2:35
  you
• 2:35
  feel
• 2:35
  drained
• 2:36
  after
• 2:36
  social
• 2:36
  interactions,
• 2:38
  why
• 2:38
  you
• 2:38
  question
• 2:38
  yourself
• 2:39
  after
• 2:39
  meetings,
• 2:40
  why
• 2:40
  you
• 2:41
  feel
• 2:41
  like
• 2:41
  you're
• 2:41
  doing
• 2:42
  all
• 2:42
  the
• 2:42
  things
• 2:43
  but
• 2:43
  something
• 2:43
  still
• 2:44
  feels
• 2:44
  off
• 2:45
  because
• 2:45
  you
• 2:45
  keep
• 2:46
  choosing
• 2:46
  peace
• 2:46
  for
• 2:46
  them.
• 2:47
  At
• 2:48
  war
• 2:48
  with
• 2:48
  you.
• 2:51
  Now
• 2:51
  let
• 2:51
  me
• 2:51
  bring
• 2:51
  this
• 2:52
  back
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  life
• 2:53
  with,
• 2:53
  like,
• 2:53
  a
• 2:53
  real
• 2:53
  life
• 2:53
  coaching
• 2:54
  story.
• 2:55
  So
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  worked
• 2:55
  with
• 2:55
  a
• 2:56
  woman
• 2:56
  named
• 2:56
  Tasha.
• 2:57
  Tasha
• 2:57
  was
• 2:57
  a
• 2:57
  boss
• 2:58
  on
• 2:58
  paper,
• 2:59
  high
• 2:59
  role,
• 3:00
  respected,
• 3:01
  calm,
• 3:02
  collected.
• 3:03
  But
• 3:04
  one
• 3:04
  day
• 3:04
  in
• 3:04
  a
• 3:04
  session,
• 3:04
  she
• 3:04
  blurted
• 3:05
  out,
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  Feel
• 3:06
  like
• 3:06
  I'm
• 3:06
  disappearing
• 3:07
  in
• 3:07
  my
• 3:07
  own
• 3:07
  life.
• 3:08
  That
• 3:08
  line
• 3:09
  hit
• 3:09
  me
• 3:09
  in
• 3:09
  the
• 3:09
  chest.
• 3:10
  And
• 3:10
  when
• 3:11
  we
• 3:11
  dug
• 3:11
  deeper,
• 3:12
  we
• 3:12
  found
• 3:12
  the
• 3:12
  pattern.
• 3:13
  She
• 3:14
  was
• 3:14
  performing
• 3:14
  peace
• 3:15
  in
• 3:16
  meetings.
• 3:16
  She
• 3:16
  wouldn't
• 3:17
  speak
• 3:17
  up
• 3:17
  when
• 3:17
  people
• 3:17
  took
• 3:18
  credit
• 3:18
  for
• 3:18
  her
• 3:18
  ideas.
• 3:20
  In
• 3:20
  friendship,
• 3:20
  she
• 3:21
  let
• 3:21
  things
• 3:21
  slide
• 3:22
  that
• 3:22
  actually
• 3:22
  hurt
• 3:23
  her.
• 3:24
  In
• 3:24
  family
• 3:24
  dynamics,
• 3:25
  she
• 3:25
  kept
• 3:25
  a
• 3:26
  cool
• 3:26
  face
• 3:26
  even
• 3:27
  when
• 3:27
  boundaries
• 3:27
  were
• 3:27
  being
• 3:28
  violated.
• 3:29
  And
• 3:29
  when
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  asked
• 3:30
  her,
• 3:30
  why
• 3:30
  don't
• 3:30
  you
• 3:30
  speak
• 3:31
  up?
• 3:31
  She
• 3:32
  said,
• 3:32
  because
• 3:32
  I
• 3:33
  don't
• 3:33
  want
• 3:33
  to
• 3:33
  come
• 3:33
  off
• 3:33
  angry
• 3:34
  or
• 3:34
  emotional
• 3:35
  or
• 3:35
  difficult.
• 3:37
  Listen,
• 3:38
  that's
• 3:39
  not
• 3:39
  just
• 3:39
  a
• 3:39
  personal
• 3:39
  fear.
• 3:40
  That
• 3:40
  is
• 3:40
  a
• 3:40
  generational
• 3:41
  pattern,
• 3:42
  a
• 3:42
  cultural
• 3:43
  one,
• 3:43
  a
• 3:44
  trauma
• 3:44
  response.
• 3:45
  So
• 3:46
  we
• 3:46
  worked
• 3:46
  on
• 3:46
  it,
• 3:47
  little
• 3:47
  by
• 3:47
  little.
• 3:48
  She
• 3:48
  started
• 3:49
  small,
• 3:50
  saying
• 3:50
  that
• 3:51
  actually
• 3:51
  didn't
• 3:51
  sit
• 3:51
  well
• 3:52
  with
• 3:52
  me,
• 3:53
  or
• 3:53
  I
• 3:54
  need
• 3:54
  a
• 3:54
  minute
• 3:54
  to
• 3:54
  think
• 3:55
  before
• 3:55
  responding.
• 3:56
  And.
• 3:57
  And
• 3:57
  I'd
• 3:57
  rather
• 3:58
  not
• 3:58
  commit
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  that
• 3:58
  right
• 3:59
  now.
• 4:00
  At
• 4:00
  first,
• 4:01
  she
• 4:01
  was
• 4:01
  nervous
• 4:02
  when
• 4:02
  she
• 4:02
  said
• 4:02
  it,
• 4:03
  but
• 4:03
  she
• 4:03
  still
• 4:03
  said
• 4:04
  it.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:05
  over
• 4:05
  time,
• 4:05
  her
• 4:06
  confidence
• 4:07
  returned.
• 4:08
  Not
• 4:08
  because
• 4:08
  she
• 4:08
  was
• 4:08
  louder,
• 4:09
  but
• 4:09
  because
• 4:09
  she
• 4:09
  was
• 4:10
  honest.
• 4:11
  That's
• 4:11
  the
• 4:11
  difference.
• 4:13
  Now,
• 4:13
  there's
• 4:14
  a
• 4:14
  few
• 4:14
  reasons
• 4:14
  why
• 4:15
  women
• 4:15
  stay
• 4:15
  quiet.
• 4:16
  So
• 4:16
  I
• 4:16
  want
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  name
• 4:17
  them.
• 4:17
  The
• 4:17
  first
• 4:17
  one
• 4:18
  being
• 4:18
  the
• 4:18
  fear
• 4:18
  of
• 4:19
  being
• 4:19
  labeled.
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  think
• 4:20
  we've
• 4:20
  all
• 4:20
  felt
• 4:21
  this
• 4:21
  at
• 4:21
  one
• 4:21
  time.
• 4:22
  Being
• 4:22
  labeled
• 4:23
  too
• 4:23
  much.
• 4:23
  Difficult,
• 4:24
  aggressive.
• 4:25
  We've
• 4:26
  heard
• 4:26
  it
• 4:26
  all,
• 4:26
  especially
• 4:27
  if
• 4:27
  you
• 4:27
  are
• 4:28
  a
• 4:28
  woman
• 4:28
  of
• 4:28
  color.
• 4:29
  And
• 4:29
  so
• 4:29
  silence
• 4:30
  becomes
• 4:30
  survival.
• 4:31
  Then
• 4:32
  there's
• 4:32
  fear
• 4:32
  of
• 4:32
  conflict.
• 4:33
  Some
• 4:33
  of
• 4:34
  us
• 4:34
  grew
• 4:34
  up
• 4:34
  around
• 4:34
  yelling,
• 4:35
  chaos
• 4:36
  and
• 4:36
  drama.
• 4:37
  So
• 4:37
  now
• 4:37
  we
• 4:37
  avoid
• 4:38
  anything
• 4:38
  that
• 4:39
  feels
• 4:39
  remotely
• 4:40
  confrontational.
• 4:41
  And
• 4:42
  then
• 4:42
  there's
• 4:42
  a
• 4:42
  fear
• 4:42
  of
• 4:42
  abandonment.
• 4:43
  You
• 4:44
  think
• 4:44
  if
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  speak
• 4:45
  my
• 4:45
  truth,
• 4:45
  they'll
• 4:46
  leave.
• 4:47
  But
• 4:47
  let's
• 4:47
  flip
• 4:47
  that.
• 4:48
  If
• 4:48
  you
• 4:49
  don't
• 4:49
  speak
• 4:49
  your
• 4:50
  truth,
• 4:51
  you're
• 4:51
  the
• 4:51
  one
• 4:52
  leaving
• 4:52
  you.
• 4:53
  And
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  deserve
• 4:54
  better
• 4:54
  than
• 4:55
  that.
• 4:56
  You
• 4:56
  deserve
• 4:57
  to
• 4:57
  live
• 4:57
  with
• 4:57
  integrity
• 4:58
  in
• 4:58
  yourself.
• 4:59
  To
• 5:00
  let
• 5:00
  your
• 5:00
  yes
• 5:00
  mean
• 5:01
  yes
• 5:01
  and
• 5:01
  your
• 5:02
  no
• 5:02
  mean
• 5:02
  no.
• 5:04
  To
• 5:04
  stop
• 5:04
  gaslighting
• 5:05
  yourself
• 5:05
  for
• 5:06
  other
• 5:06
  people's
• 5:06
  comfort.
• 5:09
  Now
• 5:10
  let
• 5:10
  me
• 5:10
  say
• 5:10
  this.
• 5:10
  I
• 5:11
  will
• 5:11
  make
• 5:11
  this
• 5:11
  very
• 5:12
  clear.
• 5:12
  Your
• 5:13
  voice
• 5:13
  is
• 5:14
  is
• 5:14
  not
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  problem.
• 5:15
  The
• 5:16
  world
• 5:16
  just
• 5:16
  hasn't
• 5:17
  learned
• 5:17
  how
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  receive
• 5:17
  women
• 5:18
  who
• 5:18
  use
• 5:18
  theirs
• 5:19
  fully.
• 5:20
  That
• 5:20
  doesn't
• 5:20
  mean
• 5:21
  that
• 5:21
  you
• 5:21
  silence
• 5:21
  it.
• 5:22
  It
• 5:22
  means
• 5:22
  that
• 5:22
  you
• 5:22
  strengthen
• 5:23
  it.
• 5:24
  Because
• 5:24
  when
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  speak
• 5:25
  your
• 5:25
  truth,
• 5:25
  you
• 5:26
  start
• 5:26
  building
• 5:26
  self
• 5:27
  trust.
• 5:28
  You
• 5:28
  stop
• 5:29
  people
• 5:29
  pleasing
• 5:29
  by
• 5:30
  default.
• 5:31
  You
• 5:31
  get
• 5:31
  clear
• 5:32
  on
• 5:32
  who
• 5:32
  belongs
• 5:33
  in
• 5:33
  your
• 5:33
  space.
• 5:35
  You
• 5:35
  stop
• 5:35
  carrying
• 5:36
  resentment.
• 5:37
  Because
• 5:37
  resentment
• 5:37
  is
• 5:38
  often
• 5:38
  just
• 5:38
  the
• 5:38
  weight
• 5:38
  of
• 5:39
  everything
• 5:39
  you
• 5:39
  didn't
• 5:40
  say.
• 5:41
  So
• 5:41
  speak.
• 5:42
  Even
• 5:42
  if
• 5:43
  your
• 5:43
  voice
• 5:43
  shakes,
• 5:44
  even
• 5:44
  if
• 5:44
  your
• 5:45
  heart
• 5:45
  races,
• 5:46
  even
• 5:46
  if
• 5:47
  you're
• 5:47
  afraid
• 5:47
  of
• 5:48
  how
• 5:48
  they'll
• 5:48
  react,
• 5:49
  their
• 5:50
  reaction
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  not
• 5:51
  your
• 5:51
  responsibility.
• 5:52
  Your
• 5:52
  integrity
• 5:53
  is.
• 5:55
  So
• 5:56
  you
• 5:56
  don't
• 5:56
  have
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  become
• 5:56
  a
• 5:57
  boundary
• 5:57
  boss
• 5:57
  overnight.
• 5:58
  Trust
• 5:58
  me,
• 5:58
  it
• 5:59
  didn't
• 5:59
  happen
• 5:59
  for
• 5:59
  me
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  way.
• 6:00
  It
• 6:00
  took
• 6:00
  some
• 6:00
  time,
• 6:01
  but
• 6:01
  here's
• 6:02
  how
• 6:02
  you
• 6:02
  can
• 6:02
  begin
• 6:03
  gently
• 6:04
  but
• 6:04
  clearly.
• 6:05
  First,
• 6:06
  use
• 6:06
  eye
• 6:07
  language.
• 6:08
  Say
• 6:08
  something
• 6:08
  like
• 6:08
  I
• 6:09
  feel
• 6:09
  uncomfortable
• 6:09
  when
• 6:10
  or
• 6:11
  I
• 6:11
  need
• 6:12
  this
• 6:13
  centers
• 6:13
  your
• 6:14
  truth
• 6:14
  instead
• 6:14
  of
• 6:14
  blaming.
• 6:16
  Then
• 6:16
  you
• 6:16
  can
• 6:16
  set
• 6:16
  the
• 6:17
  tone,
• 6:17
  not
• 6:18
  fire.
• 6:19
  Your
• 6:19
  voice
• 6:19
  can
• 6:19
  be
• 6:19
  steady
• 6:20
  and
• 6:20
  powerful,
• 6:20
  but
• 6:20
  it
• 6:21
  doesn't
• 6:21
  need
• 6:21
  to
• 6:21
  be
• 6:22
  harsh
• 6:22
  to
• 6:22
  be
• 6:22
  heard.
• 6:24
  And
• 6:24
  then
• 6:25
  don't
• 6:25
  over
• 6:25
  explain.
• 6:26
  Your
• 6:27
  truth
• 6:27
  does
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  need
• 6:28
  a
• 6:28
  full
• 6:28
  essay.
• 6:28
  I
• 6:29
  know
• 6:29
  sometimes
• 6:29
  that
• 6:29
  is
• 6:29
  hard
• 6:30
  because
• 6:30
  you
• 6:30
  want
• 6:30
  to
• 6:31
  over
• 6:31
  explain
• 6:32
  and
• 6:32
  tell
• 6:32
  all
• 6:32
  the
• 6:32
  reasons.
• 6:33
  But
• 6:34
  practice
• 6:34
  saying
• 6:34
  it
• 6:35
  without
• 6:35
  four
• 6:35
  disclaimers
• 6:36
  and
• 6:36
  a
• 6:36
  backstory
• 6:39
  and
• 6:39
  then
• 6:40
  write
• 6:40
  it
• 6:41
  first.
• 6:42
  If
• 6:42
  it
• 6:42
  feels
• 6:43
  hard
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  say,
• 6:44
  write
• 6:44
  it
• 6:44
  down.
• 6:45
  Then
• 6:45
  say
• 6:46
  it
• 6:46
  to
• 6:46
  a
• 6:46
  mirror.
• 6:47
  Then
• 6:47
  say
• 6:47
  it
• 6:47
  to
• 6:47
  a
• 6:48
  safe
• 6:48
  friend
• 6:48
  so
• 6:49
  you
• 6:49
  learn
• 6:49
  how
• 6:49
  to
• 6:50
  build
• 6:50
  that
• 6:50
  muscle
• 6:51
  and
• 6:52
  use
• 6:52
  grounding
• 6:53
  statements.
• 6:54
  Try
• 6:55
  this
• 6:56
  matters
• 6:56
  to
• 6:56
  me.
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  don't
• 6:58
  feel
• 6:59
  comfortable
• 6:59
  with
• 6:59
  that.
• 7:01
  I
• 7:01
  need
• 7:01
  to
• 7:02
  be
• 7:02
  honest
• 7:02
  with
• 7:02
  you.
• 7:04
  That
• 7:05
  doesn't
• 7:05
  work
• 7:05
  for
• 7:05
  me.
• 7:08
  I
• 7:08
  hear
• 7:08
  you,
• 7:08
  but
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  feel
• 7:09
  differently.
• 7:11
  Remember,
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  are
• 7:12
  not
• 7:13
  being
• 7:13
  mean,
• 7:13
  you
• 7:14
  are
• 7:14
  being
• 7:14
  clear.
• 7:15
  And
• 7:15
  clarity
• 7:16
  is
• 7:16
  one
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  the
• 7:16
  kindest
• 7:17
  things
• 7:17
  that
• 7:17
  you
• 7:17
  can
• 7:18
  offer
• 7:18
  to
• 7:19
  yourself
• 7:19
  and
• 7:20
  to
• 7:20
  others.
• 7:22
  So
• 7:22
  remember
• 7:23
  this.
• 7:23
  Today,
• 7:23
  Self
• 7:24
  love
• 7:24
  is
• 7:24
  speaking
• 7:25
  up.
• 7:26
  Not
• 7:26
  just
• 7:26
  when
• 7:27
  it's
• 7:27
  convenient,
• 7:27
  but
• 7:28
  when
• 7:28
  it's
• 7:28
  hard.
• 7:28
  When
• 7:29
  your
• 7:29
  inner
• 7:29
  child
• 7:29
  is
• 7:30
  shaking,
• 7:31
  when
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  old
• 7:31
  you
• 7:32
  wants
• 7:32
  to
• 7:32
  hide.
• 7:33
  Because
• 7:33
  that's
• 7:34
  where
• 7:34
  healing
• 7:34
  happens.
• 7:35
  When
• 7:36
  your
• 7:36
  voice
• 7:36
  catches
• 7:37
  up
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  your
• 7:37
  value,
• 7:39
  you
• 7:39
  don't
• 7:39
  have
• 7:39
  to
• 7:40
  keep
• 7:40
  disappearing
• 7:40
  in
• 7:40
  rooms
• 7:41
  where
• 7:41
  you
• 7:41
  want
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  be
• 7:42
  seen.
• 7:42
  You
• 7:43
  don't
• 7:43
  have
• 7:43
  to
• 7:43
  keep
• 7:43
  abandoning
• 7:44
  yourself
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  avoid
• 7:45
  discomfort.
• 7:46
  You
• 7:46
  can
• 7:46
  be
• 7:46
  honest.
• 7:47
  You
• 7:47
  can
• 7:48
  be
• 7:48
  clear.
• 7:48
  You
• 7:49
  can
• 7:49
  be
• 7:49
  you
• 7:50
  out
• 7:50
  loud.
• 7:52
  And
• 7:52
  if
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  are
• 7:52
  ready
• 7:52
  to
• 7:53
  start
• 7:53
  practicing
• 7:54
  self
• 7:54
  love
• 7:54
  out
• 7:55
  loud
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  stop
• 7:56
  shrinking
• 7:56
  and
• 7:57
  finally
• 7:57
  speak
• 7:57
  your
• 7:58
  truth,
• 7:59
  I
• 7:59
  want
• 7:59
  to
• 8:00
  invite
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  to
• 8:00
  her
• 8:01
  era.
• 8:01
  The
• 8:01
  Self
• 8:01
  Love
• 8:02
  Reset
• 8:02
  Challenge.
• 8:03
  It
• 8:03
  is
• 8:04
  a
• 8:04
  five
• 8:04
  day
• 8:05
  free
• 8:05
  challenge
• 8:06
  designed
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  help
• 8:06
  you
• 8:07
  rebuild
• 8:07
  your
• 8:07
  relationship
• 8:08
  with
• 8:08
  yourself
• 8:09
  through
• 8:09
  truth
• 8:10
  telling,
• 8:10
  through
• 8:11
  boundary
• 8:11
  setting
• 8:12
  and
• 8:12
  daily
• 8:12
  reminders
• 8:13
  that
• 8:13
  you
• 8:13
  are
• 8:13
  worth
• 8:14
  more
• 8:14
  than
• 8:14
  the
• 8:14
  piece
• 8:15
  you
• 8:15
  prefer.
• 8:16
  This
• 8:16
  isn't
• 8:16
  about
• 8:17
  becoming
• 8:17
  somebody
• 8:18
  new.
• 8:18
  It
• 8:18
  is
• 8:18
  about
• 8:19
  coming
• 8:19
  home
• 8:19
  to
• 8:20
  the
• 8:20
  woman
• 8:20
  you've
• 8:20
  always
• 8:21
  been.
• 8:21
  Underneath
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  silence.
• 8:23
  The
• 8:23
  challenge
• 8:24
  kicks
• 8:24
  off
• 8:24
  soon
• 8:24
  and
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  want
• 8:25
  you
• 8:26
  there.
• 8:27
  Details
• 8:27
  are
• 8:27
  going
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  be
• 8:28
  in
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  show
• 8:28
  notes,
• 8:28
  so
• 8:29
  until
• 8:29
  next
• 8:29
  time,
• 8:30
  use
• 8:30
  your
• 8:31
  voice.
• 8:31
  Choose
• 8:32
  your
• 8:32
  truth,
• 8:33
  protect
• 8:33
  your
• 8:34
  peace,
• 8:35
  but
• 8:35
  not
• 8:35
  at
• 8:35
  the
• 8:36
  cost
• 8:36
  of
• 8:36
  yourself.
• 8:37
  You've
• 8:37
  got
• 8:37
  this,
• 8:46
  Sam.