Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Hear No English Speak No English

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Phone Tap: Hear No English Speak No English · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It was voted in a recent poll that the number
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: one most annoying thing right now in America, besides this show,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: is dealing with customer service calls. There is not enough
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: human workers, so hold times are outrageous. And once you
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: do finally get someone on, they're not actually qualified to
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: help you. So we thought, that's pretty bad, but how
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: do we make it even worse?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: So the first thing we did was make Jose a
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: customer service agent.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Yay!
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: That helps.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Second thing, even though he can speak English, he can't
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: hear English.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Ah, I see.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Think about how frustrating that call would be and now
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: hear it in your phone tap right now.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Hello?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Hi, this is Michael Smith from Apple Support. I'm looking
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: for Troy D.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: * * *, please.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, hey, man. Yeah, this is he. How you doing?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Did you say this is Troy?
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, this is Troy.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to take that as a yes. You
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: sent us an email about an issue you were having
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: with an iPad Pro M1, and I'm here to help you. Yeah.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: So the, the pretty much the problem I'm having is
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: the touch ID button is just not working on it. I've,
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: I've tried resetting it. I've tried pretty much everything.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: I'm going to stop you. Um, is there a way
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: you could say that in Spanish, another language, sign language,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: even in Spanish? Do you know any other languages? Italian?
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Even Monsk? Do you know Monsk?
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about, brother? I'm just calling about
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: my iPad. I don't know any other languages.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I can't understand you.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: What do you mean you don't understand me? Is it
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: a phone issue or you don't understand my iPad problem?
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: Not sure what you're saying. Not sure what I'm saying
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: about what?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I don't hear English.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: We're having a full conversation in English. What do you
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: mean you don't hear English?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, again, didn't catch that. But here's my situation. Look,
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I do speak English. I just don't hear it. Or
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: at least right now. It's a little situation I'm dealing with.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: What?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what? What was that?
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: This doesn't make sense. You're speaking English perfectly.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, again, not really sure what you just said, but
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: back to me, wasn't always like this. I was at
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: a Renaissance fair last month, got hit in the head
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: with a rogue cabbage, completely zapped my ability to hear English.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Doctors, totally stumped.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: No idea what's going on with me.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Wait, let me get this straight. Your entire job is
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: predicated on you talking to people on the phone and you,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: it doesn't make any sense. You're speaking to me in English.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming whatever you just said, you're giving me like
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: sympathy for what happened. I do appreciate that compassion. I'm
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: just a normal guy who got hit in the head
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: with the cabbage.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: How are you supposed to help me if you can't
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: understand me? I'm calling about a, you called me. Yeah.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, just going off of the tone of your voice.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: It sounds like your problem's fixed.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Wait, no, no, no, no, no.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: What?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: No, my problem isn't fixed. You haven't done anything to
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: help me.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Again, can't hear English. Only speak it. Not sure how
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: many times I could say that.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Why are we on the phone? Can I talk to
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: somebody else?
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: No, thank you. You're welcome.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: No, that's not what I said.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Before we get off the phone, how would you rate
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: my customer service skills today? One to five stars?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Zero.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Hit the button. Don't speak it because I can't hear it.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Zero stars. Zero. Nothing was fixed. Wow, was that five stars?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to put it down. You are generous.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, my goodness.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Talk about turning a bad situation into a positive.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: This is amazing.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Hey, by the way, your warranty on your iPad expires tomorrow,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: so good luck with that, huh?
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: What? Glad you got this done in time. That would
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: have sucked. Transfer me to a f * * *
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: ing manager right now, dude.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I can't transfer you to a manager. Transfer
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: me to a manager.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: No, I can't.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: No, not what the f * * *. Don't swear
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: at me. Wait, what?
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: You heard that?
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I'm cured! It's a miracle!
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Or a prank phone call! You choose! Wait, what?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: A prank phone call? What?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: This is actually Jose from the radio show Brooke and
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning Man. We're doing a prank on you.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: This is a phone tap.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Yo!
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Are you shitting me right now? Bro, your girlfriend ate
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: and set you up.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: She said you're having a bunch of problems with your
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: iPad and you're like super dreading that customer service phone
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: call later.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: I am having a bunch of problems with my iPad.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: It was very frustrating.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Aren't you glad I can hear you now?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's great to feel like I'm talking to a
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: human again.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Troy, I said, aren't you glad that I can hear
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: you now?
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: No, I need you to speak another language. You know,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Swahilan or, oh, monks. Do you want to go back
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: to monks? That's a good language. I can speak fluent monks.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, I get it. Joke's over now.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, joke's over now if you didn't hear me.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.