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Are You Aware of What's Going On In Your Marriage? · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for October 5, 2026 Are you aware of what's going on in your marriage?
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  There's a video in the show notes. If you can't watch it, it shows a group of
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  people, some dressed in white, some in black, passing basketballs.
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  You are instructed to count how many times a team in white passes the ball.
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  At the end, you are told they passed the ball 13 times, and then you are asked
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  if you saw the moonwalking bear.
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  A man in a bear outfit moves through the players from right to left.
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  He stops in the center, does a few dance steps, and then moonwalks off the left side.
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  The first time I saw that video, I totally missed the bear.
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  The video says it's easy to miss something you're not looking for.
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  That's true, but the video is also using what magicians call misdirection.
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  Had you not been given the instructions to count ball passes,
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  you would have seen the bear.
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  So in addition to not seeing what you're not looking for, it's easy to miss
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  something obvious when you're busy looking for something else.
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  This week, I want to discuss how both of those affect our marriages.
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  When did you last miss something your spouse was trying to communicate to you?
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  Or perhaps I should say, when did that last happen that you were aware of?
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  I'm not talking about those hints she gives that she thinks are obvious,
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  but that 99% of men would miss.
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  And I'm not talking about something you didn't understand because he used far too few words.
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  What was communicated well, yet you totally missed it?
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  If you can think of such an event, the next question is, why did you miss it? Be honest and dig a bit.
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  This is Paul, and having a clue helps us do marriage well.