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3 Silent Sabotages Killing Your Goals · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm going to break down the three things that are quietly killing your progress towards your goals, and I'm going to guess that none of them are what you think.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: After a cracking group call inside Inevitable last night, which is my group programme, we were discussing all things, goals and visions, and these three very clear limitations presented themselves.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Now the good news is that these three things can be completely changed with a simple perspective shift.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And today I'm going to take you through exactly what that is and how you can do it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: So you can start making some real tangible, trackable progress in your business.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Does that sound good?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes or yes?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: We know what to do.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Grab your brew and let's dive right in.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: I literally had another um podcast scheduled to recall today, but after last night's call, I was like, I've got to share this because um it was just the the coaching and the way the conversation went, it was so it was so um obvious that everybody was experiencing it.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if I could just share these three things, I truly believe that even if you only implement one, you're gonna start making far more progress and more quickly in your business without any more work or any more stress.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna start with the first one, and this one I think is gonna be the most surprising one, and it is this feeling bored in your business and making it mean that something has gone wrong.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Making it mean that something's wrong in your business or you're doing something wrong because you're feeling bored.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So here's your reframe.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: When you're feeling bored in your business, instead of making it mean that something's gone wrong, I want you to remember that boredom is the price that you pay for mastery.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: When you decide to be the master of your craft, to master your CEO identity, to master the how you deliver your thing, to master sales and marketing and social media and and and there is going to be a lot of repetition.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Are you willing to feel bored in order to become the master of your craft and of your CEO or business and of your your your um your marketing and your sales?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I remember the first time I heard this many years ago actually from James Wedmore inside his program, and he said so many business owners will quit because the business becomes boring because there's so much repetition.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: When you think about what you have to do to launch something or to keep selling one-on-one or like whatever it is, in order to grow and to scale, there's going to be a lot of repetition.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: But when you keep putting the emphasis in your business to make you feel a certain way, the way that you want to feel, eventually it's going to catch up with you and you're going to have to decide to check in or to check out.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to give you a personal example of this.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: So when I work with my clients, we work on the inevitability of success, mainly in their business, but it goes across all areas of life.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: As a certified high performance coach, I teach people how to achieve success above the standard norms, but without sacrificing their health and their relationships.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I also teach my clients how to have the capacity to work on business, relationships, and health all in one go if that's what they desire, which is exactly what I'm doing right now.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: So this brings me to this story.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Last week, I think it was last week, I did a reel and I talked about how too many people focus on what have I got to do in my business to get the result that I want.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I say you should start with what am I willing to feel.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I recently started working with a fat loss coach, and one of the things I've decided I'm willing to feel is boredom.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a massive foodie.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love food.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love cooking, I love eating, I love feeding people.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: This fat loss coach that I'm working with right now, I eat the same breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks every day for seven days.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Then I get a new one every day for seven days, then I get a new one.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: See where I'm going?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I am willing to feel that level of boredom in order to get the results that I want.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not going to be forever.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Things are gonna, things will shift.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when I've got myself into a little bit of a in into a groove, I can start to mix things up a bit.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm willing to feel bored.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: So the question is also, are you willing to feel bored in your business to become a master?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that at some point in the future, things actually get easier.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in order for you to be able to do this, I'm gonna I'm asking you to take in the reframe, but I'm also offering you this.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, number one, accepting the boredom as proof of um mastery development.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: But number two, you also have the ability to run a different model.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: That basically means that you have the ability to pick better thoughts about what you're doing and how you're feeling, so you can actually create a different energy at will.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's within your availability.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: You also get the choice to create deeper meanings and connections and growth in other areas of your life instead of putting all the emphasis in your business to make you feel a certain way.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about it, if you're looking to your business to make you feel great, you're always going to be in, or you're likely to avoid things like launches in case they fail, asking for the sale in case somebody says no, worrying about whether your social media is working or not, how many people open your email rate.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: When you are able to choose the model that serves you, that helps you generate the energy and the momentum, you become the master.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're always in charge.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: You are not a slave to your business in terms of emotions.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're your own emotional generator.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, problem number one is it started off with boredom.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was actually about making your business responsible for how you feel.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: The second one that then came up was the topic of commitment.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is currently my favourite most, favourity most topic because I have really decided to have developed my skill of commitment this year.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm becoming a mastery of commitment.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: What I've been great at in the past is committing there and letting things slide somewhere else, or committing for a shorter period of time and then just taking time out.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Until I heard my coach say, when people say they, when people take time out and they step back from their business, or whatever it is that they're working on, but they step back from their business, what they're actually doing is removing themselves from the situation that feels hard, which means at some point they've got to step back in and then they've got to try and re-regulate themselves to that, and effectively it never happens.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of taking a step back, it's about how you can regulate yourself in that emotion and in that feeling and in that environment, and then increase your capacity to hold it without making it mean anything, without losing your energy, without making it like impact your emotions.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been thinking a lot about motivation.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that really came up for me is that motivation isn't something I used to think that motivation was a feeling.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And what I discussed with my clients last night was that in terms of the model, um, and if you haven't heard of the model yet, it's a life coaching tool by Brooke Castillo, and it's like if you think about like five lines on a piece of paper, circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, results.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I take my clients through a model and help them to see how they're creating it for themselves.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: So you might think that that motivation goes in the feeling line, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: That would make total sense.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: I feel motivated.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: But what I've come to realize, as I've committed so heavily this year, is that for me, motivation joins commitment in the thought line.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I decide to feel committed.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: I decide to feel motivated.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a this it's a decision, and it's the same decision repeated over and over and over again.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: You don't wait till it's convenient, you don't wait till you feel good, you definitely don't wait till you feel aligned, you don't wait till there's a full moon or the stars are aligned, you don't wait till like there's a retrograde, like whatever, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: You make a commitment to your goal and to your vision, and you generate the motivation and the commitment ahead of time in every decision, no matter what.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: And the great thing is that you build your self-trust.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you take a step and you keep that promise that you made to yourself, you're building self-trust.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: You increase your solar plexus warrior power energy.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: The opposite, in case you didn't know that, the the shadow aspect of the solar plexus is shame.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And every time we back down, every time we talk ourselves out of something with some kind of justifiable excuse, we activate an element of shame because we know we've done the same thing again and we didn't really want to, but somehow we find ourselves here again.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't need to be looking for commitment, you don't need to be looking for motivation, you need to be deciding to be that person.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you can put commitment and motivation even in your circumstance line if you want and decide what have I got to think in order for commitment to be my circumstance?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: What have I got to think in order for motivation to be my circumstance?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: What other feelings can I generate to support my desire for commitment and motivation?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: The result of that is you stop waiting to feel ready.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: You just are the person that shows up again and again and again, and that is what makes your success inevitable every single time.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hugh, can you see I'm feeling a little bit passionata about that one?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's go to the third limitation that came up in this conversation last night, and it is this one.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: How you get there is how you'll be there.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is something that my current coach shares with us, and I absolutely love it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it looks like this if you are hustling, panicking, self-criticising, acting from lack and lack of resources, lack of time, lack of money, um, lack of belief, and that's how you're moving towards your goal.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: When you get there, you won't become different.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: You will arrive there as you have created yourself to be there.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hustle gets you a hustle-shaped life.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hustle creates a somatic shape of a hustle.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: That means that you are holding in your body and in your brain thoughts of lack, thoughts of what I've got to get there quickly to prove to myself that I can do it, or I've got to get there quickly because this is too painful to be in it and I want to get out of the other side.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever your motivation is to get there quickly, it's not from a space of sufficiency.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: So when you get there, if you're telling yourself that suddenly you're gonna feel sufficient and you're gonna be like, Yeah, I did it, I know I can do it now, it's very, very unlikely to happen.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen this in myself and I've seen it in many, many, many clients who will get results and they'll get it through uh hard work, and then we have to do a lot of coaching around, oh my god, I've got to do it again, oh my god, and we have to actually almost take a step back to regulate themselves to it and then move through.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna repeat that again: how you get there is how you'll be there.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, in order to not do this, you've got to start changing the way that you get there.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to start being able to embody sufficiency, certainty.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to be thinking thoughts like, I had I'm capable, I'm it's it's happening, it's done already, I've just got to keep showing up.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: The journey, that every single step of the journey is like, it's not just um valuable, it's like imperative to get you to the bigger result.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm willing to take more time so that I can arrive in certainty, insufficiency, and celebrate.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm willing to take the times that I can get there and then know that I now have the capacity to expand into bigger and better results with a little bit more ease.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know that if I don't regulate to where I'm at right now, I can never regulate to the hundred grand, to the 250 grand, to the 500 grand, right?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to be able to arrive there as you want to stay and grow from there.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: When you learn that, you learn to build the goal and the identity that can actually hold it at the same time and learn how to expand it at every level that you want your business to go to.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: And this is really important when you're working multiple goals at the same time.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you're, you know, really doubling down on your health, like I'm training for two hyroxies at the moment and really focused on body fat, I'm really committed to deepening the level of relationship I have with my husband, and I want to build my business to my first big milestone, right?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like I've been chasing that for 15 years, but I was doing it from a place of lack and insufficiency.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: And over the last couple of years, I've focused on my self-concept and my identity.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I want you to think about which of those, if maybe it's one, two, or all three of them that you can see that are having an impact on your business, whether you're putting a lot of pressure on your business to determine how you feel, whether you're weight, whether you're not really as committed because it's a bit of a when I feel like it, when I feel aligned, when the moon's in the right place in the sky, and then and so commitment is not consistent and you're waiting to feel motivated, and also about whether you're being the person that you want to be in order to get to where you want to go, and is that person going to be sustainable to go to the next level and the next level and the next level?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like one of my coaches says, you know, the problem your problems in business as you make more money are only going to get bigger.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if you grow your identity, you're able to manage them.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: So my job with my clients is like teaching them now to be able to manage at every single level.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: What I want you to see from what we've just discussed today is that you have the ability to run different models to choose more effective thoughts and feelings at any point in time, so that you always have the resources to shift your perspective and create a different model that generates a more empowering feeling.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like basically, you are the person that can generate the state that you need at will.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: So a state being how you're thinking, how you're feeling, what's not what somatic shape you're holding, how regulated you are.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's what we call like the state.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And when you learn how to run through the model, when you learn how to regulate yourself, when you learn how to choose more resourceful thoughts, at every moment you're in charge, you get to change your state at will.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it also keeps you showing up even when it does feel crap.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: So this isn't about always feeling resourceful.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: There are going to be some days when you might feel like the devil's back side, particularly if you're in perimenopause.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Today's one of those days for me, and I'm like, I'm still showing up.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like my coach says, feeling in a low value cycle doesn't mean there's no value, you're still valuable.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I've had to learn a lot in this last six to 12 months is that I can feel like doggy doo-doos and I can still show up.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if I want to and it's available to me, I can change state.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like both are available.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Then it keeps you make keeping the promises that you make to yourself no matter what.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: You build power and self-trust instead of keeping activating the shame.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: You then are in a space where you're getting evidence of applied action and you're getting results regardless of the goal.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're always getting a result, and then you have the ability to choose how you think and feel about the results, every single result, no matter what.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then, my friends, success is always inevitable.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: So take a think about it.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Decide how you're gonna choose your perspective shifts.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Run yourself through a different model.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you would like to have access to more of this, then come join my free Facebook group.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Be More Lobster.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I will make sure that there is a link in the show notes.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be starting to do some free trainings in there soon to help you understand these things at a deeper level.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I very much look forward to seeing you there.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: And until then, I will speak to you again in the next episode of the Be More Lobster podcast.