Latest / She's On The Money / How I've Made It Work as a Single Mum by Choice
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor
- 0:04Speaker 1: the Order KERNI Whoaltbury and a waddery woman. And before
- 0:08Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
- 0:11Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
- 0:14Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
- 0:18Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
- 0:22Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
- 0:27Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
- 0:30Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
- 0:33Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
- 0:34Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
- 0:57Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast and
- 1:00Speaker 2: millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one
- 1:04Speaker 2: of our money daries where we get to talk with
- 1:06Speaker 2: one of our incredible She's on the Money community members
- 1:09Speaker 2: all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because
- 1:12Speaker 2: this week I got a message and it sounded exactly
- 1:15Speaker 2: like this, Dear, She's on the Money. Growing up, I
- 1:18Speaker 2: thought I was terrible with maths and money, but my
- 1:21Speaker 2: financial journey has been one of growth and learning. Now
- 1:24Speaker 2: as a proud single mum by choice. Having my eighteen
- 1:28Speaker 2: month old son through IVF with a donor, as well
- 1:30Speaker 2: as a beautiful fur baby cat. I'm navigating the challenges
- 1:34Speaker 2: of solo parenting and the rising cost of living, and
- 1:37Speaker 2: despite feeling financially vulnerable at times, I've built strong systems
- 1:42Speaker 2: to keep us on track. It's not easy, but I'm
- 1:45Speaker 2: proof that you can have kids on your own and
- 1:47Speaker 2: make it work. Money does. This is the coolest story ever.
- 1:51Speaker 4: Thank you.
- 1:53Speaker 2: This is so exciting. I just love the idea that
- 1:56Speaker 2: you're like, no, no, no, I want to be a
- 1:58Speaker 2: mum and it's gonna happen. I have so many questions,
- 2:01Speaker 2: but before we get there, if I asked you to
- 2:04Speaker 2: give your money habits a grade from A three to F,
- 2:06Speaker 2: what would you grade them?
- 2:08Speaker 4: You know, it's interesting. I've really thought about this because
- 2:10Speaker 4: I often find myself disagreeing with the other money diarists
- 2:14Speaker 4: on the podcast, and I think women, we're so hard
- 2:17Speaker 4: on ourselves, I know, much high expectations, and so I thought,
- 2:22Speaker 4: you know what, there's actually a real clear difference to
- 2:24Speaker 4: where I feel I sit and to where I think
- 2:28Speaker 4: I sit if I take emotion out of it, so
- 2:31Speaker 4: I feel like a c I feel like, I feel
- 2:35Speaker 4: financially vulnerable right now, but when I look at the
- 2:38Speaker 4: bigger picture and I look at things down on a
- 2:40Speaker 4: piece of paper, I think I'm probably more like a bee.
- 2:44Speaker 2: Yeah that's so nice that you're able to reflect on that.
- 2:47Speaker 4: Yeah, it's one of those things. I think we feel
- 2:50Speaker 4: so different. But if you can take that emotion out
- 2:51Speaker 4: and actually look at what you're doing, there's just actually
- 2:54Speaker 4: you know so much there.
- 2:55Speaker 2: So we're going to give you the credit. You're a
- 2:56Speaker 2: b I love that money diarist. My face question to
- 3:01Speaker 2: ask people is about their money story. So let's dive in.
- 3:04Speaker 2: Can you tell me a bit more about your money story?
- 3:07Speaker 4: Sure? So, growing up, I always felt like we didn't
- 3:10Speaker 4: have much money. My parents immigrated to Australia, and you know,
- 3:15Speaker 4: I had these memories of growing grocery shopping with my
- 3:18Speaker 4: mom and her checking the price tags and buying things
- 3:21Speaker 4: when they're on special. And I feel like I came
- 3:25Speaker 4: from a household where if you lost your jumper or
- 3:27Speaker 4: your hat, you didn't get a new one, you just
- 3:29Speaker 4: went without it. And so I think that's really impacted
- 3:32Speaker 4: how I view my money now. I'm always someone who's
- 3:35Speaker 4: trying to save money, even if it's just a little bit,
- 3:38Speaker 4: and I'm quite conscious of looking out for a good
- 3:41Speaker 4: bargain and trying hard not to buy anything on full price,
- 3:45Speaker 4: although don't always succeed.
- 3:47Speaker 2: I totally get that. In fact, that's triggered a memory
- 3:50Speaker 2: for me. Actually when you said you lost your jumper
- 3:53Speaker 2: or your heart, like you don't get a new one
- 3:55Speaker 2: like that, I'm assuming for you it's maybe the same story,
- 3:58Speaker 2: Like we're talking about school uniform. Yeah, yes, yeah, Like
- 4:01Speaker 2: I remember my mum being like, right, well, you won't
- 4:03Speaker 2: be able to go outside and play because I'm not
- 4:05Speaker 2: buying a new hat for you. Did your mum do
- 4:08Speaker 2: the thing where she'd be like, right, well, you're gonna
- 4:11Speaker 2: have to find it, Yeah, like go to school check
- 4:13Speaker 2: the lost property, ask you to. You're going to have
- 4:16Speaker 2: to find your jump because I'm not buying you a
- 4:17Speaker 2: new one, Like we can't afford that. That's not an option?
- 4:20Speaker 2: And why are school uniform is so expensive?
- 4:23Speaker 4: And you don't realize it at the time, right, of course.
- 4:25Speaker 2: Not, But now I look at it, I'm like, wait what.
- 4:28Speaker 4: And I remember going to the secondhand uniform shop as
- 4:31Speaker 4: well to buy all of our uniforms.
- 4:32Speaker 2: Oh so did we and like genius from mum to
- 4:35Speaker 2: be honest, because like it's the same thing, but that
- 4:39Speaker 2: feeling of being like, oh it's not you like, oh
- 4:42Speaker 2: I get.
- 4:42Speaker 4: It, but it's good because it makes me feel I
- 4:45Speaker 4: think I, because of that, quite conscious of money and
- 4:50Speaker 4: you know, always looking for second hand items, like you know,
- 4:52Speaker 4: your mum was a great role model in that respect,
- 4:54Speaker 4: you know, learning from her. So it's been good. Obviously,
- 4:57Speaker 4: once I started working and earning money, it's always great.
- 5:01Speaker 4: You get your first time paycheck, it's exciting. But I've
- 5:04Speaker 4: always worked in the not for profit sector and so
- 5:06Speaker 4: I'm not earning massive amounts of money, and so I've
- 5:10Speaker 4: always been conscious of money and trying to say where
- 5:12Speaker 4: I can. And after university I saved. I worked so
- 5:16Speaker 4: hard and saved about thirty k and went traveling for
- 5:20Speaker 4: a year iconic, which I think everybody should do in
- 5:23Speaker 4: their lifetime is absolutely amazing thing to do.
- 5:26Speaker 2: The whole year would have been so special.
- 5:29Speaker 4: It was unreal. I mean, it was backpacking, it.
- 5:31Speaker 2: Was okay, but like that doesn't change it. It's still
- 5:34Speaker 2: so special.
- 5:34Speaker 4: One hundred percent. And it's interesting because sometimes I go, oh, god,
- 5:37Speaker 4: thirty K, wouldn't that be a great start for a
- 5:39Speaker 4: house deposit, but I wouldn't take that traveling year away
- 5:42Speaker 4: at all, Like it was just so special.
- 5:45Speaker 2: I love that. So now wary, you're at what does
- 5:48Speaker 2: that look like?
- 5:48Speaker 4: So after traveling and working, I kind of got into
- 5:52Speaker 4: my mid thirties and on and off dating and not
- 5:55Speaker 4: really having much success in that department, and I kind
- 5:59Speaker 4: of thought to myself, when I get to thirty seven,
- 6:02Speaker 4: it's time to start thinking about freezing your eggs. And
- 6:05Speaker 4: so I started doing a person I like to do
- 6:07Speaker 4: a lot of research before I actually make my decision.
- 6:09Speaker 2: I think you and I are on the same page
- 6:11Speaker 2: and picking up similar vibes. I like this, I love this.
- 6:14Speaker 4: So I kind of got to thirty seven, I was like, oh,
- 6:17Speaker 4: I'm not sure. Yeah, let's just do research. And so
- 6:20Speaker 4: I kind of went, oh, I don't know, actually that
- 6:22Speaker 4: freezing my eggs isn't the best option for me from
- 6:25Speaker 4: my understanding. You know, it can be a great option
- 6:28Speaker 4: to have, especially in your younger years, but the longer
- 6:31Speaker 4: your eggs are frozen, they're less viable. They can become
- 6:34Speaker 4: over time, the dethoring process can be hard on them,
- 6:38Speaker 4: and unfertilized eggs are not necessarily as hardy as fertilized embryos.
- 6:44Speaker 4: So I kind of thought, maybe that's not the best
- 6:46Speaker 4: option for me right now, Let's just keep dating and
- 6:48Speaker 4: seeing what happens. And then I got to thirty eight,
- 6:50Speaker 4: and did.
- 6:51Speaker 2: You feel a lot of dating pressure? Just like, oh,
- 6:54Speaker 2: I'm trying to find the right person, and like this
- 6:56Speaker 2: just isn't fitting, Like.
- 6:58Speaker 4: And I see so many people making decisions that I
- 7:01Speaker 4: think I don't feel comfortable with where I don't you know,
- 7:04Speaker 4: if I marry someone, I want to be absolutely one
- 7:06Speaker 4: hundred percent in love and I don't want to have
- 7:08Speaker 4: that pressure of wanting to have kids so quickly getting
- 7:11Speaker 4: that pressure on it. Yeah. Yeah, So I got to
- 7:14Speaker 4: thirty eight and I started looking at IVF with an
- 7:18Speaker 4: anonymous doner, and again be come was like, oh god,
- 7:21Speaker 4: this is such a big step.
- 7:23Speaker 2: A massive step, so exciting but also so terrifying, like,
- 7:26Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this could really happen.
- 7:29Speaker 4: I'd never dreamt of doing it on my own. My
- 7:31Speaker 4: dream was to do it with somebody else. Of course,
- 7:33Speaker 4: you know, as a little kid, that's what you want,
- 7:34Speaker 4: that's the dream. So it was quite a bit of
- 7:37Speaker 4: a shift in my mindset to start thinking along this pathway.
- 7:41Speaker 4: But I just thought, you know what, let's just make
- 7:43Speaker 4: an appointment with a fertility specialist and go down that pathway.
- 7:46Speaker 2: You can always say no, you can always say no later.
- 7:48Speaker 4: One hundred I'm just gathering information. That's all I'm doing
- 7:51Speaker 4: at this point, right. It's one step at a time.
- 7:54Speaker 4: And I actually made appointments to fertility specialists based on recommendations,
- 7:58Speaker 4: which I actually would recommend because the first person I
- 8:03Speaker 4: saw I did not like, and it was someone that
- 8:05Speaker 4: everyone had raved about.
- 8:07Speaker 2: Isn't that frustrating when you're like, why does everybody like this?
- 8:11Speaker 4: I know, but it's good because then it's like, you
- 8:13Speaker 4: know what, it's such a personal thing. You want to
- 8:15Speaker 4: be able to ask those silly and dumb questions and
- 8:17Speaker 4: feel like the specialist has the time for.
- 8:19Speaker 2: You to do that one hundred percent.
- 8:21Speaker 4: And so after that then I just kind of started,
- 8:23Speaker 4: you know, meeting with the specialist and she'd send me
- 8:26Speaker 4: to do some tests, like a blood test, nothing too crazy,
- 8:29Speaker 4: and it kind of just the more I was in
- 8:31Speaker 4: it and thinking about it, the more it just felt
- 8:35Speaker 4: more comfortable and more the right thing for me to do.
- 8:38Speaker 2: And you were like, I'm on this path. I was
- 8:40Speaker 2: just looking at the path, but I just woke up
- 8:42Speaker 2: and I think I'm actually on the.
- 8:43Speaker 4: Path way down it.
- 8:45Speaker 2: Yeah, like I'm halfway down it, and I actually don't
- 8:48Speaker 2: want to turn around.
- 8:50Speaker 4: It's good. And I went, yeah, I'm doing it.
- 8:52Speaker 2: Oh, that's so exciting.
- 8:54Speaker 4: I had been saving, right, so, like it wasn't and
- 8:56Speaker 4: I knew IVF was expenses. So the whole time I'm
- 8:59Speaker 4: meeting with the specialist, it's not like really quick. You know,
- 9:01Speaker 4: there might be a month or two apart. So I'm
- 9:03Speaker 4: like going, okay, I need to hit go into my
- 9:05Speaker 4: hardcore savings goal and start really saving because it is expensive.
- 9:09Speaker 4: So I was doing all of that knowing that you know,
- 9:11Speaker 4: there's sure anyone who's gone through IVF nos, but there's
- 9:15Speaker 4: a little bit of hidden costs. Sometimes you might get
- 9:17Speaker 4: a cost, it might tell you how it is, but
- 9:19Speaker 4: then there's all these other things and if there's anything
- 9:22Speaker 4: I unexpected that pops up, well then that's an additional cost.
- 9:25Speaker 4: And medicine costs more, and you know, so there's all
- 9:27Speaker 4: these extra little things you have to pay for.
- 9:30Speaker 2: Yees.
- 9:30Speaker 4: So then I started they sent me paperwork. I did
- 9:34Speaker 4: all the work and then they sent me profiles for
- 9:37Speaker 4: anonymous bonus.
- 9:39Speaker 2: Oh I was about to ask, Okay, so how do
- 9:41Speaker 2: you pick an anonymous donor? Because I am so pervy,
- 9:43Speaker 2: like girl, I need to know, like do you get
- 9:46Speaker 2: to go like shopping for your baby daddy that look quiet?
- 9:51Speaker 4: Yeah? Absolutely, So you can go down in Australia to well,
- 9:55Speaker 4: I guess it's different. Maybe each state is as well different.
- 9:58Speaker 4: I'm in New South Wales. But in Australia you've got
- 10:01Speaker 4: two options. You can go an international route. So there's
- 10:04Speaker 4: American donors and there are lots of them. So Americans
- 10:08Speaker 4: get paid to donate, so there's often lots of options.
- 10:12Speaker 2: Yeah, and are you allowed to use that in Australia.
- 10:15Speaker 4: You can Yeah. Wow, Australian clinics have access to the
- 10:19Speaker 4: database in America and so you can get all this
- 10:21Speaker 4: information about the donors. You obviously no identifying information. It's
- 10:26Speaker 4: all anonymous.
- 10:27Speaker 2: Yeah, of course I had no idea, Like I genuinely
- 10:29Speaker 2: just thought, okay, like we're an island in the middle
- 10:32Speaker 2: of nowhere. Surely we would only have access to Australian donors.
- 10:36Speaker 2: And like you hear so much about like I don't know,
- 10:38Speaker 2: I hear so much about like surrogacy journeys, because you
- 10:41Speaker 2: obviously can't pay asarig in Australia. It can in America anyway.
- 10:44Speaker 2: It's a very complex space, so I just assumed that
- 10:47Speaker 2: maybe you couldn't access American donors. How interesting.
- 10:50Speaker 4: Yeah, and there's a lot of choice if you go
- 10:53Speaker 4: down that pathway. It's a little bit more expensive because
- 10:55Speaker 4: obviously you have to pay for the transportation to Australia.
- 10:59Speaker 2: What type of cost that to you know, I can't.
- 11:01Speaker 4: Remember because I didn't go down this pathway. It would
- 11:05Speaker 4: be a couple of hundred I think maybe, or even
- 11:07Speaker 4: in the thousand. I can't quite remember it.
- 11:08Speaker 2: But it's not like tens of thousands of dollars.
- 11:10Speaker 4: Don't go down that route, no, Yeah, so I went
- 11:12Speaker 4: down the Australian donor route, which is far less options
- 11:17Speaker 4: because in Australia, to donate your eggs or sperm, it
- 11:20Speaker 4: is all altruistic, so you don't get anything in return.
- 11:23Speaker 2: There's something that I like about that though, and you
- 11:25Speaker 2: mentioned before. We haven't gotten super into it, but like
- 11:28Speaker 2: you mentioned before, I work for nonprofits. I'm happy to
- 11:30Speaker 2: earn less money because I just feel like that fits
- 11:32Speaker 2: your vibe more right.
- 11:33Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, it just felt more comfortable for me.
- 11:36Speaker 2: I like the idea that they wanted that for you,
- 11:38Speaker 2: not for financial gain for them. That's so kind. Yeah
- 11:41Speaker 2: I get it, I get it.
- 11:42Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely so yeah, but I had like there was
- 11:46Speaker 4: five options, so in America they'd be I think on
- 11:49Speaker 4: their database they can be like one hundred or so,
- 11:51Speaker 4: which also I think can be overwhelming analysis paralysis.
- 11:54Speaker 2: It's like investing, like how do you pick an ETF
- 11:57Speaker 2: how do you pick a sperm donor?
- 11:58Speaker 1: Like?
- 11:58Speaker 2: Same right, So.
- 12:00Speaker 4: I wanted my baby to look like me, so I
- 12:03Speaker 4: went with the same ethnicity as a way of breaking
- 12:06Speaker 4: me down totally. And then from there it was really
- 12:09Speaker 4: the health information that you get that was important to me.
- 12:12Speaker 4: You actually get the health of the person donating their
- 12:16Speaker 4: immediate family as well.
- 12:18Speaker 2: Oh that's so perfect.
- 12:20Speaker 4: So any type of illnesses or conditions that they have
- 12:24Speaker 4: is kind of listed, which is really interesting.
- 12:25Speaker 2: So also so controlled, Like so many people don't even
- 12:30Speaker 2: get that with the person that they literally have picked
- 12:32Speaker 2: to have a child with. They like, oh, let's just
- 12:34Speaker 2: have a baby, and then later they're like, oh, I
- 12:36Speaker 2: didn't know you had health condition.
- 12:37Speaker 4: I know, well I've got nothing else to go on,
- 12:40Speaker 4: and so I was like, for me, that's the important thing.
- 12:43Speaker 4: And then all the other information, like me can get
- 12:45Speaker 4: basic information like hair color, eye color. There's some self
- 12:49Speaker 4: reporting stuff like how would people describe you? But I
- 12:52Speaker 4: was very conscious that with self reporting, you know, how
- 12:56Speaker 4: you describe yourself might be very different to how other
- 12:58Speaker 4: people describe you. So I was like, no, medical, let's
- 13:01Speaker 4: go on the medical and let's then just see the
- 13:04Speaker 4: vibe of the rest of them. And that just helped
- 13:06Speaker 4: me narrow it down and I picked my donor.
- 13:09Speaker 2: Oh that is so cool. I love this. What's the
- 13:12Speaker 2: next step in the process. So you pick your donor,
- 13:15Speaker 2: you have to go through an IVF process, Like, yeah.
- 13:17Speaker 4: It actually all up took me a year to go
- 13:20Speaker 4: through this whole process, but that was a lot just
- 13:23Speaker 4: with me and me taking my time to go through
- 13:25Speaker 4: everything and keep saving money. You can actually go through
- 13:28Speaker 4: it much quicker if the donor is available now since COVID.
- 13:32Speaker 4: It might be tricky because there's less donor recruitment since COVID.
- 13:36Speaker 2: I think, yeah, okay, And when you say the year
- 13:40Speaker 2: is that from you starting the journey to falling pregnant
- 13:44Speaker 2: or is that you starting the journey to having a
- 13:45Speaker 2: baby falling pregnant.
- 13:47Speaker 4: My first appointment was in January, and then I decided
- 13:53Speaker 4: to officially start the whole IVF process the following January.
- 13:58Speaker 2: Yeah cool, Oh my god.
- 14:00Speaker 4: So I had a whole year of like doing tests
- 14:02Speaker 4: and seeing everything is and picking the donor and saving
- 14:05Speaker 4: my money. And then also an important consideration which I'm
- 14:09Speaker 4: sure anyone who has gone through IVF would know, but
- 14:12Speaker 4: when you are looking at your funds, it's so expensive.
- 14:15Speaker 4: And I had to really sit with myself and go, Okay,
- 14:19Speaker 4: how many rounds can I do? Because you know, I'm
- 14:22Speaker 4: going through IVF, not because I think I have fertility.
- 14:25Speaker 2: Issues, but because that's how I'm going to get pregnant.
- 14:28Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent. And I can see how you
- 14:30Speaker 4: go through this process and it's not successful. You go, Okay,
- 14:33Speaker 4: well I'm going to try again. But it's good to
- 14:35Speaker 4: have kind of a cap in mind of how much
- 14:38Speaker 4: money you have available for this, because you could get
- 14:41Speaker 4: yourself into debt so easily just keeping on going and
- 14:45Speaker 4: going and going.
- 14:46Speaker 2: It's one of those things that is quite interesting as well,
- 14:48Speaker 2: because as women, we've spent a majority of our lives
- 14:52Speaker 2: trying not to get pregnant, and then all of a
- 14:54Speaker 2: sudden you're going down this route of IVF and it's
- 14:57Speaker 2: not because you were struggling to fall pregnant. It was
- 14:59Speaker 2: because that's the route that you've decided to take. And
- 15:02Speaker 2: you're like, well, I don't know if it's going to
- 15:03Speaker 2: be a one and done the situation, or if I'm
- 15:06Speaker 2: going to go through this process. And my body doesn't
- 15:09Speaker 2: want to do this with me in the way that
- 15:11Speaker 2: I want to do it with it. So it's just
- 15:13Speaker 2: that would be really stressful when it comes to finances.
- 15:16Speaker 2: So how much did it cost you?
- 15:18Speaker 4: So I ended up having to do two egg collections
- 15:22Speaker 4: and I was very lucky. My first transfer worked.
- 15:27Speaker 2: Oh I got a sticky baby from the stud No,
- 15:30Speaker 2: that's so special.
- 15:32Speaker 4: It's very good. So all up, it cost me about
- 15:34Speaker 4: thirty five thousand dollars. I did get some back from Medicare,
- 15:40Speaker 4: and I think I was out of pocket about twenty
- 15:42Speaker 4: three thousand dollars.
- 15:43Speaker 2: Hey, that's pretty good. That's a lot. And I won't
- 15:46Speaker 2: say cheaper because it's still a lot of money. But
- 15:49Speaker 2: it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
- 15:52Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I just thought it would
- 15:54Speaker 2: be way more expensive because like the egg collection rounds,
- 15:58Speaker 2: like in Australia can be anywhere from six thousand to
- 16:01Speaker 2: ten thousand dollars around, Like that's quite expensive.
- 16:04Speaker 4: And then do you get some of that medicare rebate back?
- 16:07Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's important. So then once you've done your
- 16:10Speaker 2: egg collections, then is it the fertility clinic that you
- 16:13Speaker 2: did the egg collections that managed the donusperm and kind
- 16:16Speaker 2: of made a little embryo.
- 16:18Speaker 4: Absolutely. Yes, it's all in house, which makes it easier.
- 16:22Speaker 2: Oh and then they made your little m baby and
- 16:24Speaker 2: then you had a transferred day and got your little
- 16:26Speaker 2: m baby and then they were sticky, and.
- 16:28Speaker 4: Then you have an anxious two week wait while you're like,
- 16:31Speaker 4: oh my gosh, analyzing everything in your body.
- 16:36Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, and I'm sure that you were stressed out
- 16:39Speaker 2: of your brain one, because that's a stressful process irrespective
- 16:42Speaker 2: of the financials, right, Like that's so scary because the
- 16:45Speaker 2: second you have it transferred, you're like, well, I'm pregnant
- 16:47Speaker 2: until proven otherwise, aren't I.
- 16:49Speaker 4: And then you're trying not to stress because you know
- 16:50Speaker 4: what's stressed us to the body, but it's so hard
- 16:52Speaker 4: not to.
- 16:53Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so glad that it worked the first round
- 16:56Speaker 2: for you.
- 16:56Speaker 4: Know, I was very lucky that first transfer because you
- 16:58Speaker 4: can hear it, you can take a while. And the
- 17:01Speaker 4: other thing I was going to say, obviously, being doing
- 17:04Speaker 4: this on my own, I have to go through a
- 17:06Speaker 4: private clinic. But now if you are in a couple
- 17:09Speaker 4: or you have a known donor, you can actually do
- 17:11Speaker 4: it through the public system and it will only cost
- 17:13Speaker 4: you one thousand dollars. What It's a massive, massive difference.
- 17:19Speaker 2: Oh my god. I mean, I'm glad that you got
- 17:21Speaker 2: the care and that you were able to kind of
- 17:23Speaker 2: like shop around and get the fertility expert that you
- 17:25Speaker 2: felt super comfortable, like, and I mean that's the cost
- 17:28Speaker 2: of private healthcare, right, Like that's the benefit. But at
- 17:31Speaker 2: the same time, like knowing that that's so much more
- 17:34Speaker 2: financially viable. Oh, I love that.
- 17:37Speaker 4: I know it's a little bit of a sting, but
- 17:39Speaker 4: at the end of the day, I have a beautiful
- 17:41Speaker 4: little baby, so I can't complain.
- 17:43Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so excited. I adore that for you. So
- 17:47Speaker 2: I need to know more because this episode, I think
- 17:49Speaker 2: is such a good lesson for a lot of people
- 17:52Speaker 2: in our community that you can actually have kids on
- 17:54Speaker 2: your own and make it work. So I need to
- 17:56Speaker 2: know more about this situation, Like a lot of people
- 17:59Speaker 2: might go, I need to earn millions to be able
- 18:01Speaker 2: to do that on my own. But what do you
- 18:03Speaker 2: do for work? How much money do you earn?
- 18:04Speaker 4: So I work in a not for profit sector and
- 18:07Speaker 4: I work with young people who live in residential care
- 18:11Speaker 4: essentially if that just means that they don't live at
- 18:13Speaker 4: home with their parents. And I work part time at
- 18:17Speaker 4: the moment.
- 18:18Speaker 2: Is that because you have a baby.
- 18:19Speaker 4: Yes, I was working full time. Yeah, so full time.
- 18:24Speaker 4: I was earning about I think it was ninety eight
- 18:26Speaker 4: thousand and part time. Now I'm earning sixty.
- 18:29Speaker 2: Five Oh okay, that's very nice. So you we've gone
- 18:32Speaker 2: from ninety eight k to sixty five K. I have
- 18:34Speaker 2: to ask all the pervy stuff. I'm so sorry. So
- 18:37Speaker 2: sixty five K. How many days a week are you doing?
- 18:39Speaker 4: Three days?
- 18:40Speaker 2: So three days? And then you're singles. It's not like
- 18:43Speaker 2: there's somebody at home looking after baby. What does care
- 18:46Speaker 2: look like?
- 18:46Speaker 4: So he goes into daycare three days a week?
- 18:49Speaker 2: Yeah, very cool? And what type of cost does that
- 18:53Speaker 2: mean for you?
- 18:54Speaker 4: It is expensive? The daycare itself is about one hundred
- 18:58Speaker 4: and eighty dollars a day.
- 19:00Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's insane, isn't it crazy?
- 19:03Speaker 4: That obviously, thank god I get a subsidy and so
- 19:06Speaker 4: I actually pay about I think it's forty five a day.
- 19:09Speaker 2: Oh okay, so like forty five bucks a day. It
- 19:11Speaker 2: comes out in the wash week. It's an episode recently
- 19:13Speaker 2: on daycare and like what it costs, because I think
- 19:16Speaker 2: one thing that people don't realize is that you pay
- 19:18Speaker 2: out of pocket and then you get a rebate as
- 19:20Speaker 2: opposed to you know, it just being forty five bucks
- 19:23Speaker 2: a day, which a lot of people are like, oh,
- 19:24Speaker 2: that's reasonable, but you actually have to have that one
- 19:26Speaker 2: hundred and eighty dollars in your bank account to pay
- 19:28Speaker 2: in advance, which is really ick to me.
- 19:31Speaker 4: I know, I know.
- 19:33Speaker 2: Has that changed how you've managed your cash flow?
- 19:35Speaker 4: You know what? I think it probably hasn't. I think
- 19:39Speaker 4: it's so I use credit cards to help me with
- 19:42Speaker 4: my cash flow, and I'm a big pointscal so I
- 19:46Speaker 4: like to maximize as many points as I can. The
- 19:49Speaker 4: last couple of international trips I've done have all been
- 19:52Speaker 4: on points, so it really works for me. I don't
- 19:55Speaker 4: think I would be able to travel otherwise, if I'm
- 19:57Speaker 4: being honest, because it is tough now for the little one,
- 20:00Speaker 4: and he's about to turn two and in a couple
- 20:03Speaker 4: of months, so now I'm gonna have to start paying for
- 20:05Speaker 4: him or.
- 20:05Speaker 2: You're about to run out of free travel.
- 20:07Speaker 4: For him, I know, So that's a big thing.
- 20:10Speaker 2: Sorry to remind you. Under two, they travel for free.
- 20:16Speaker 4: I just booked it like we're going away next year,
- 20:18Speaker 4: and I booked us all on points. So I was like,
- 20:20Speaker 4: thank God for points because that really does help me.
- 20:23Speaker 4: I put all of my big stuff on credit cards.
- 20:24Speaker 4: But I at the start of the year. It's the
- 20:27Speaker 4: first time I heard credit cards for like, you know,
- 20:30Speaker 4: ten fifteen years, and because I have gone from full
- 20:34Speaker 4: time to part time work at the start of the year.
- 20:37Speaker 4: It was just after I have a whole bunch of
- 20:38Speaker 4: bills at the end of the year, like all my
- 20:40Speaker 4: car REGI and insurances you think Christmas, and so normally
- 20:44Speaker 4: I'm fine when I'm working full time. It this is
- 20:46Speaker 4: the first year I'm working part time and I got
- 20:49Speaker 4: The first four months of the year were really scary
- 20:52Speaker 4: for me because I could not pay off my credit
- 20:54Speaker 4: card balance in full, which is normally something that I
- 20:57Speaker 4: can do, and so I was starting to go on,
- 21:00Speaker 4: I got, okay, I'm not managing my cash for very well.
- 21:03Speaker 4: Something is happening. I'm spending more than I'm earning, which
- 21:06Speaker 4: I don't normally do. What's happening And I kind of
- 21:08Speaker 4: had to really relook at it because I think when
- 21:12Speaker 4: I was saving up for IVF, I was so good.
- 21:15Speaker 4: I had that money goal, so I knew what I
- 21:16Speaker 4: was saving for as I was working through that year,
- 21:19Speaker 4: and I already had some money saved away. But after IVF,
- 21:23Speaker 4: I utilized a lot of my funds and I also
- 21:25Speaker 4: bought a brand new car because a baby. My old
- 21:28Speaker 4: car was very, very old and I didn't want to
- 21:30Speaker 4: break down on the side of the road, and it
- 21:32Speaker 4: was in COVID and all the secondhand cars were so
- 21:34Speaker 4: stupidly expensive.
- 21:35Speaker 2: Oh they were. Yeah, So I bought a brand.
- 21:37Speaker 4: New car, which is not my intention, but I did it.
- 21:39Speaker 2: But also at that time that made the most sense financially, genuinely.
- 21:43Speaker 4: Absolutely, and I paid it out in full because I
- 21:45Speaker 4: had saved that much money.
- 21:46Speaker 2: Iconic, Sorry, that's iconic.
- 21:50Speaker 4: I was thinking about taking out a loan, but then
- 21:52Speaker 4: I just looked at the interest I would eventually pay
- 21:54Speaker 4: back on it, and I thought, ill, no, I got
- 21:57Speaker 4: the money, I think I should do this. But then
- 22:00Speaker 4: it's just left me feeling a bit more vulnerable because
- 22:03Speaker 4: I decimated my savings and I don't have that fallback anymore.
- 22:08Speaker 4: And I had an emergency fund. But when I start
- 22:10Speaker 4: of the year, when I couldn't pay back my credit cards,
- 22:13Speaker 4: I used all of my emergency fund and it wasn't
- 22:14Speaker 4: enough because I was still building it up. And so
- 22:17Speaker 4: I just put myself in a really funny place where
- 22:20Speaker 4: I felt very, very scared and just a little bit
- 22:23Speaker 4: anxious about my financial situation.
- 22:25Speaker 2: I guess I'm really proud of the reflection you're doing
- 22:28Speaker 2: on this though, Like you were so aware throughout all
- 22:31Speaker 2: of that. That's really cool. Like a lot of people
- 22:34Speaker 2: would have buried their head in the sand, but you're like, Nope,
- 22:36Speaker 2: I'm going to make it work. This is what I'm
- 22:37Speaker 2: going to do. This is how I'm going to do it.
- 22:39Speaker 2: Like so many people get to that point and it's
- 22:42Speaker 2: kind of like a fork in the road and they
- 22:44Speaker 2: can either do what you did and like take charge
- 22:46Speaker 2: of it and go because this is actually a really
- 22:48Speaker 2: scary position to be in and they don't really want
- 22:49Speaker 2: to be here and I'm going to do something about it.
- 22:52Speaker 2: Or people go down the other fork and they bury
- 22:54Speaker 2: their heads in the sand and be like, all right, well,
- 22:55Speaker 2: I'm just going to ignore the credit card for a
- 22:57Speaker 2: couple of months, and I'm just going to keep building
- 22:59Speaker 2: my emergence, your fund and keep on track. And that
- 23:01Speaker 2: actually puts you further behind. And so I love the
- 23:05Speaker 2: way you're talking about it as well, because it's just
- 23:07Speaker 2: it feels so open.
- 23:09Speaker 4: Yeah, like I do. For me, you know, there's obviously
- 23:13Speaker 4: a lot of issues with credit cards, but I normally
- 23:16Speaker 4: felt that, you know, I was able to keep on
- 23:17Speaker 4: top of it as long as I could pay it
- 23:19Speaker 4: off each month. And it's just that first instance where
- 23:22Speaker 4: I couldn't do it for a couple of months really
- 23:24Speaker 4: freaked me out. I can see how you can easily
- 23:26Speaker 4: end up in debt.
- 23:27Speaker 2: That way spirally, right, Yeah, And it's so easy to do.
- 23:32Speaker 2: And I mean, no one gets a credit card with
- 23:33Speaker 2: the intention of getting into debt and staying in debt.
- 23:35Speaker 2: Like you get a credit card to help with cash
- 23:37Speaker 2: flow or to help you build something. And I think
- 23:40Speaker 2: that it's just so important to just stay stay woke.
- 23:44Speaker 2: I suppose stay aware of what's going on.
- 23:47Speaker 4: It's because I go for the cards that have points.
- 23:50Speaker 4: They're often the cards that also have a higher interest rate,
- 23:53Speaker 4: which doesn't normally impact me because I pay my credit off.
- 23:56Speaker 3: But when you don't, Yeah.
- 23:58Speaker 2: You're like, oh no, so money, Do tell me a
- 24:02Speaker 2: bit more. You obviously had the big money goal of
- 24:04Speaker 2: saving up and paying for IVF, and then you got
- 24:06Speaker 2: a car. What are your big money goals now? What
- 24:08Speaker 2: are we currently working towards?
- 24:10Speaker 4: You know what? I think this is probably one of
- 24:12Speaker 4: my big issues now is I had such a big
- 24:15Speaker 4: savings goal and then when my little boy came along,
- 24:19Speaker 4: that just felt like such a big achievement for me.
- 24:21Speaker 4: And I, you know, was working part time or I
- 24:23Speaker 4: wasn't working for a while and then went back to
- 24:25Speaker 4: working part time. And I don't think I've really replaced
- 24:29Speaker 4: it with another goal. And I do think that has
- 24:31Speaker 4: really impacted my savings. Like how on top of it,
- 24:35Speaker 4: I am? Yeah, I just and then COVID, you know,
- 24:39Speaker 4: all of these different things, all the cost of living stuff.
- 24:42Speaker 4: I just feel like it's kind of just put me
- 24:45Speaker 4: in a place where I felt like I was on
- 24:47Speaker 4: such a high I'm on the roller coaster, you know,
- 24:49Speaker 4: and I'm kind of you.
- 24:50Speaker 2: Know, one hundred percent, but you're also not giving yourself credit.
- 24:53Speaker 2: You've gone from earning ninety eight grand to sixty five thousand,
- 24:56Speaker 2: and yes, there's like a beautiful trade off here where
- 24:59Speaker 2: you're getting to work part time, but like there's less
- 25:02Speaker 2: cash coming in the door, like there's less that you
- 25:05Speaker 2: can actually do.
- 25:06Speaker 4: It is, and everything's gone expensive. I think, yeah, you know,
- 25:09Speaker 4: when I think about maybe what I was spending on
- 25:11Speaker 4: groceries before, it is one hundred percent doubled, if not more.
- 25:14Speaker 2: A two year old, it's a lot of berries.
- 25:18Speaker 4: I think I need to really think about what goal
- 25:21Speaker 4: I want to have, because that does make it a
- 25:23Speaker 4: difference for when you have that in your mindset, and
- 25:26Speaker 4: it can work towards it.
- 25:28Speaker 2: To motivation one hundred percent, and you can easily compromise,
- 25:31Speaker 2: Like if it comes to spending, you know, fifty dollars
- 25:34Speaker 2: on something, you're like, no, it really, I'm gonna have
- 25:36Speaker 2: a baby, Like I don't even need it. And now
- 25:38Speaker 2: you're kind of like, what am I working towards? I
- 25:40Speaker 2: don't it may as well spend the fifty Yeah, yeah, oh,
- 25:43Speaker 2: I totally get it and if you've got a plan
- 25:45Speaker 2: to get it back on track, like you're going to
- 25:47Speaker 2: sit down and maybe visualize what's going on or is
- 25:50Speaker 2: that something that you're like, oh it, do all come
- 25:52Speaker 2: up when it comes up.
- 25:53Speaker 4: The when I was saving before, I used to use pocketbook,
- 25:56Speaker 4: you know, the ant pocketbook.
- 25:57Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent, And that was.
- 25:58Speaker 4: So helpful because I could categorize everything and I was
- 26:03Speaker 4: tracking my spend because I had that goal in mind.
- 26:05Speaker 4: So I was like, yeah, I'm on this. And then
- 26:07Speaker 4: after I had my baby and Pocketbook ended, it stopped
- 26:11Speaker 4: and so you can't use that.
- 26:12Speaker 2: Yeah, I was really disappointed.
- 26:14Speaker 4: It was such a good app I loved it, and
- 26:17Speaker 4: I think since then, I haven't been as good at
- 26:18Speaker 4: tracking my spend. I'm conscious about my money. I'm not
- 26:22Speaker 4: spending it Willy Nelly, but I couldn't tell you exactly
- 26:25Speaker 4: now how much money I'm spending on my groceries, on
- 26:28Speaker 4: my petrol each month. And I think that's something I
- 26:31Speaker 4: now need to go and revisit.
- 26:33Speaker 2: Yeah. No, that makes absolute sense. And it's kind of
- 26:37Speaker 2: good that you're in that limbo because I feel like
- 26:39Speaker 2: that's really relatable. I want you to get out of it,
- 26:41Speaker 2: but like lots of people be like, oh my god,
- 26:43Speaker 2: I know me too, Like I just don't know what
- 26:45Speaker 2: I want. Do I want to buy property? Do I
- 26:46Speaker 2: want to go on a be collar, Like I just
- 26:48Speaker 2: don't know.
- 26:49Speaker 4: Property is of course a goal, but it just seems
- 26:53Speaker 4: so out of reach for me.
- 26:54Speaker 2: Life is currently a season, right, Like and having a
- 26:58Speaker 2: small child it's a funny period of your life, right
- 27:01Speaker 2: because it's such a privilege to have a small kid,
- 27:04Speaker 2: but they're so bloody expensive and you're in that limbo
- 27:06Speaker 2: of paying daycare and paying for everything, and life is
- 27:09Speaker 2: going to get cheaper once they're at school, yeah, and
- 27:12Speaker 2: then it's probably going to get more expensive when he
- 27:14Speaker 2: decides to get some expensive teenage hobbies and then maybe
- 27:18Speaker 2: he wants to do after school care like activities and
- 27:21Speaker 2: like life ebbs and flows, right, But I think that
- 27:24Speaker 2: sometimes we need to just remember that these things are seasonal,
- 27:28Speaker 2: Like right now, daycare is actually not forever. It's probably
- 27:31Speaker 2: for another couple of years, and then kinder is going
- 27:33Speaker 2: to happen and things are going to get significantly cheaper.
- 27:36Speaker 4: I think I'm going to go back to work full
- 27:37Speaker 4: time next year anyway, so that will help too.
- 27:40Speaker 2: So that's so exciting exactly, so ebbs and it flows,
- 27:45Speaker 2: and like our money goals have to flex with that,
- 27:48Speaker 2: because you can't go from earning basically one hundred thousand
- 27:51Speaker 2: dollars down to sixty five and expect that you're able
- 27:55Speaker 2: to allocate the same amounts to your savings goals. But
- 27:58Speaker 2: if you then let that feel disenchanting or you let
- 28:02Speaker 2: that make you go, oh, I used to be so
- 28:04Speaker 2: good at this, Like, can we look at the bigger
- 28:06Speaker 2: picture for a hot second, Because you had like another
- 28:08Speaker 2: forty grand to play with during those years, my friend, Like,
- 28:11Speaker 2: you had so much to play with, and also you
- 28:13Speaker 2: didn't have the responsibility that you have now, Like there
- 28:17Speaker 2: wasn't a tiny human demanding your attention. There wasn't a
- 28:20Speaker 2: tiny human that needed you to spend double on your
- 28:23Speaker 2: grocery bills. Like it was easier then, and there's a
- 28:27Speaker 2: lot of reason for it.
- 28:29Speaker 4: I need to keep there. He's in his fussy phase,
- 28:31Speaker 4: so it's not like he's eating much anyway.
- 28:33Speaker 2: Oh well, funny win, money win. I love that I'm
- 28:39Speaker 2: currently in that golden season where I have a seven
- 28:41Speaker 2: month old who's only discovering food, So we'll eat anything
- 28:44Speaker 2: that I've put in front of him.
- 28:46Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a nice phase. Enjoy that one.
- 28:48Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I'm acutely aware that this
- 28:51Speaker 2: is going to change, but i am live love laughing
- 28:53Speaker 2: right now, my friend. I'm like, oh, mushrooms, you eat mushrooms.
- 28:57Speaker 2: Sleigh goodness. All right, let's go to a really quick
- 29:00Speaker 2: break on the flip side. I have a lot of questions,
- 29:04Speaker 2: so guys, don't go anywhere money, Darius do. We are
- 29:10Speaker 2: back and I'm learning so much about how you have
- 29:13Speaker 2: proven that you can have kids on your own and
- 29:16Speaker 2: make it work, which I think is just so special.
- 29:18Speaker 2: But I want to know have you thought about investing,
- 29:21Speaker 2: What does that look like? Do you invest? If so, how,
- 29:24Speaker 2: if not, do you have a plan?
- 29:25Speaker 4: I do thank you to this podcast because oh, really, absolutely.
- 29:30Speaker 2: That's so special.
- 29:31Speaker 4: I mean, of course I've got superannuation, so that was
- 29:34Speaker 4: always there, but definitely, you know, from listening to this podcast,
- 29:39Speaker 4: it just made the world of investing seem possible and
- 29:43Speaker 4: doable and something that wasn't to be feared.
- 29:46Speaker 2: I love that.
- 29:46Speaker 4: Yeah. I started out small, and I got myself a
- 29:50Speaker 4: raise and a spaceship portfolio, and I started playing around
- 29:55Speaker 4: with those and then I think they started to introduce fees.
- 30:01Speaker 2: Remember when it was free. Yeah, you've been around a while,
- 30:04Speaker 2: my friend, you are proving yourself. I love this.
- 30:07Speaker 4: And so when they did that, I thought, okay, I
- 30:08Speaker 4: don't need both because they're doing the same purpose in
- 30:11Speaker 4: my mind, and so I just kind of looked at them,
- 30:14Speaker 4: thought which ones performing better, and Spaceship was performing better
- 30:16Speaker 4: for me. So then I.
- 30:18Speaker 2: Just went all in on one.
- 30:19Speaker 4: Went fall in. Yes, So I just transferred the money
- 30:21Speaker 4: from Raise into Well actually, so I kept Spaceship and
- 30:25Speaker 4: then I had the Raise money and I thought, well,
- 30:27Speaker 4: let's play around the different platform just to see, and
- 30:30Speaker 4: so I got self Wealth because I figured that was
- 30:32Speaker 4: a bit different. But I have to be honest, I
- 30:34Speaker 4: don't love Self Wealth, so that's okay.
- 30:37Speaker 2: It is a bit more of a complex platform, Like
- 30:40Speaker 2: it definitely doesn't have like if you're looking at and
- 30:43Speaker 2: this is just like pragmatically not advice, not anything. I
- 30:46Speaker 2: always have to say that, but like if you look
- 30:48Speaker 2: at the user interfaces of Rays and then Spaceship, they're
- 30:51Speaker 2: just really easier to understand. They're on your phone, they
- 30:54Speaker 2: are apps. They make things very simple, whereas Self Wealth
- 30:58Speaker 2: one it has like in investing minimum, So you have
- 31:01Speaker 2: to have a minimum of five hundred dollars to join
- 31:03Speaker 2: that platform, which is fine because that's actually quite normal
- 31:05Speaker 2: for people who want that. But it is, I would say,
- 31:08Speaker 2: a bit more of a techy platform, like it has
- 31:10Speaker 2: all of the research, it has all the information, but
- 31:12Speaker 2: you can so see yourself making that big on the
- 31:16Speaker 2: screen on your desktop and like a finance Bruce sitting
- 31:19Speaker 2: in the front of it, trading on it. Like it's
- 31:20Speaker 2: definitely like a more serious investing platform.
- 31:24Speaker 4: It is. You know, I had to raise money and
- 31:26Speaker 4: I just I think I had about maybe one thousand
- 31:28Speaker 4: dollars or something, and so I'd put it in there.
- 31:30Speaker 4: And then from playing around with that, I was like,
- 31:32Speaker 4: I really don't like this platform. I find it tricky
- 31:34Speaker 4: to understand. It's not user friendly, I don't think for
- 31:36Speaker 4: me anyway. So I thought, oh, let's I'm hearing a
- 31:38Speaker 4: lot about share zas. Let's try sharesy.
- 31:40Speaker 2: Oh no you didn't, did you? Actually I do. Oh
- 31:43Speaker 2: she's a convert. Yeah, I have to say.
- 31:45Speaker 4: I love it so much better. So now I actually
- 31:48Speaker 4: need to transfer my what I've got in self well
- 31:51Speaker 4: over to share s EA's because I much prefer and
- 31:53Speaker 4: it's easier to keep track of everything just see what
- 31:56Speaker 4: my money's doing.
- 31:57Speaker 2: But it's true, right, and like, there's nothing wrong with
- 32:00Speaker 2: self wealth. There are going to be a lot of
- 32:01Speaker 2: people listening to this and they're like, oh, I love
- 32:03Speaker 2: that platform, and that's great, that's fantastic for you. But
- 32:06Speaker 2: one of the things that is so important to remember
- 32:08Speaker 2: when investing is that it has to be any experience
- 32:11Speaker 2: that doesn't cause friction with the way that you work,
- 32:14Speaker 2: Like it has to be an experience where you find
- 32:17Speaker 2: it really easy and really easy to understand. And if
- 32:20Speaker 2: that means having a platform that has a bit of
- 32:22Speaker 2: a different interface or has a custom app, that's why
- 32:26Speaker 2: it's so important to not just go with the platform
- 32:28Speaker 2: that's the cheapest, but also the platform that makes the
- 32:31Speaker 2: most sense for you, because I can almost guarantee that
- 32:34Speaker 2: you're changed to Sharess not because they're a better platform.
- 32:37Speaker 2: I mean I'm obsessed with them, but not because they're
- 32:39Speaker 2: a better platform, but because you're having a better experience,
- 32:41Speaker 2: you're going to invest more and you're going to create
- 32:43Speaker 2: a more secure financial future. Whereas I'm assuming with a kid,
- 32:48Speaker 2: with things getting tricky, you know, your income dropping to
- 32:51Speaker 2: sixty five grand. For the short being, you would have
- 32:53Speaker 2: been like, Oh, I can't be bothered with this whole
- 32:54Speaker 2: investing thing. It's too complex, Because it's too overwhelming, I'm
- 32:57Speaker 2: going to just put stop on that for now in
- 32:59Speaker 2: my head in the sand. Whereas doing something that works
- 33:02Speaker 2: for you is so important. So I think that's a
- 33:05Speaker 2: good reminder if you're listening to this and going, oh, yeah,
- 33:08Speaker 2: I'm finding my investing journey really frictiony. We need to
- 33:12Speaker 2: find something that works for you as opposed to just
- 33:14Speaker 2: picking what other people are using.
- 33:16Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent, I think that's exactly what I'm
- 33:18Speaker 4: gonna do. I'm gonna transfer the funds from self wealth
- 33:21Speaker 4: into Chasias because it's just makes most sense to me.
- 33:25Speaker 2: Oh I love that. So you're an investing queen inside
- 33:28Speaker 2: and outside of super Have you thought about investing for
- 33:32Speaker 2: your baby?
- 33:32Speaker 4: I have, And actually I really need to go back
- 33:35Speaker 4: to the Investing for Kids podcast because I keep thinking
- 33:40Speaker 4: about it since I was pregnant with him. I was
- 33:41Speaker 4: thinking about this and I haven't done anything, so I
- 33:43Speaker 4: really do need to.
- 33:44Speaker 2: I was planning my investment plan for my kid way
- 33:46Speaker 2: before he was even born, way before he even existed,
- 33:49Speaker 2: way before I met his dad, like.
- 33:53Speaker 4: Now knowing what it can do, like investing this early
- 33:56Speaker 4: on for him. And I'm just conscious that I'm a
- 34:00Speaker 4: single person if I don't ever meet someone and it's
- 34:02Speaker 4: just me. I want him to be able to get
- 34:04Speaker 4: to eighteen or twenty and have those funds available for
- 34:08Speaker 4: university or whatever it might be.
- 34:10Speaker 2: Ah, he's going to be so well set up. I
- 34:12Speaker 2: love this so much.
- 34:13Speaker 4: For you, But yes, I need to look in because
- 34:15Speaker 4: obviously there's the tax implications there and I just need
- 34:18Speaker 4: to look again and decide which pathway I want to
- 34:20Speaker 4: go down.
- 34:21Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, have you thought about I mean, he's
- 34:23Speaker 2: true now, so he's not going to comprehend it just yet.
- 34:25Speaker 2: But you have you thought about how you're going to
- 34:27Speaker 2: teach him about money?
- 34:28Speaker 4: M Yeah, that's a great question. I don't know that
- 34:32Speaker 4: I have fully considered it or kind of thought about
- 34:36Speaker 4: how I'm going to do it, but I definitely do
- 34:38Speaker 4: want to make sure that he is educated and knows
- 34:41Speaker 4: how to budget for things, and it's conscious of what
- 34:44Speaker 4: money costs. And I'm not quite sure. You know, there's
- 34:46Speaker 4: so many different things out there where people that the
- 34:49Speaker 4: kids do chores and earn money or or you know,
- 34:51Speaker 4: people set up little systems at home where the kid
- 34:53Speaker 4: has to pay a little bit of rent with their
- 34:55Speaker 4: pocket money. There's so many ways to do it, and
- 34:57Speaker 4: I haven't.
- 34:57Speaker 2: Found the one that works for you. Yeah, I mean,
- 34:59Speaker 2: he's too You've got so much time. Your money story
- 35:02Speaker 2: starts to form at seven. You've got time, You've got time.
- 35:06Speaker 2: But I always find it interesting, right because I obviously
- 35:09Speaker 2: think about it all the time, and you know, complete
- 35:11Speaker 2: side note, I obviously write books, and I love writing books.
- 35:15Speaker 2: My fifth one is about to come out, which is
- 35:16Speaker 2: insane to me. But I've always said I want to
- 35:20Speaker 2: write a book to teach people how to teach their
- 35:23Speaker 2: kids about money. But I don't want to do that
- 35:25Speaker 2: until I'm a mum and I can go through that myself,
- 35:28Speaker 2: because nobody wants parenting advice from a non parent, Like,
- 35:32Speaker 2: let's be honest, can you imagine some young pre I'm
- 35:35Speaker 2: now in my thirties, but pre thirty year old, going
- 35:38Speaker 2: this is how you should teach kids about money. I
- 35:40Speaker 2: don't have any kids. I would have canceled it, so
- 35:44Speaker 2: I will at some point pull that together.
- 35:46Speaker 4: But it's interesting because you know, I obviously listen to
- 35:48Speaker 4: your podcast and I know, you know, you your father
- 35:51Speaker 4: was in finance and gave you advice and you didn't listen.
- 35:54Speaker 2: And so why would I listen? What would he know?
- 35:58Speaker 2: What do parents know?
- 36:00Speaker 4: How you do it so that it sticks in there?
- 36:02Speaker 4: You know?
- 36:03Speaker 2: Yeah? And I think that that's where, you know, it's
- 36:05Speaker 2: those unconscious narratives that we learn about money that you know,
- 36:10Speaker 2: even you were sharing with us at the start. You
- 36:11Speaker 2: were like, you know, there was no particular story that
- 36:14Speaker 2: you gave us about learning about money from your parents,
- 36:17Speaker 2: but you were like, but if I lost my hat,
- 36:19Speaker 2: it wasn't replaceable. But if I lost my jumper, I
- 36:22Speaker 2: had to make do. And I think that those are
- 36:24Speaker 2: the things where we have such an opportunity to look
- 36:27Speaker 2: at the broader way that we refer to purchasing items,
- 36:30Speaker 2: the bigger story around it, and how we want to
- 36:33Speaker 2: craft that even the small things about the way we
- 36:36Speaker 2: speak about money. Are we going to use conversational pieces
- 36:40Speaker 2: like oh, honey, I'm sorry we can't afford that, or
- 36:42Speaker 2: are we going to say, well, actually that's just not
- 36:44Speaker 2: in our budget right now, honey, And like how do
- 36:46Speaker 2: we frame things? And what does that do to their
- 36:50Speaker 2: internal monologue about money that helps us go oh, yeah,
- 36:54Speaker 2: you know, someone might come on my podcast and go,
- 36:56Speaker 2: we grew up really poor, or they might come on
- 36:58Speaker 2: my podcast and go, oh, my mum so savvy growing up.
- 37:01Speaker 2: Like there's just like this narrative that we can actually
- 37:04Speaker 2: craft ourselves, so irrespective of whether we can invest with
- 37:07Speaker 2: our kids or not, like, we can actually form their
- 37:10Speaker 2: money story and we can help them have a healthy
- 37:12Speaker 2: relationship with it. And I think that there's such a
- 37:14Speaker 2: misconception around well, if I'm having kids, I need to
- 37:17Speaker 2: give them pocket money and I just don't have the
- 37:19Speaker 2: budget for that. You don't need to give them money
- 37:22Speaker 2: to teach them about it, which I think is so cool.
- 37:24Speaker 2: But that's a side note because I'm just, as you know,
- 37:26Speaker 2: wildly passionate about it.
- 37:28Speaker 4: I'll be waiting for this book, Victoria.
- 37:30Speaker 2: Oh, I'm writing it for people like you. So so
- 37:33Speaker 2: you wait. My friend talk to me about debt. Do
- 37:35Speaker 2: you have any debt? If so, what is it?
- 37:37Speaker 4: No, so, no major debt.
- 37:39Speaker 2: The credit card got paid out, Yes it did.
- 37:42Speaker 4: It was a bit scary, but it did.
- 37:43Speaker 2: Go.
- 37:44Speaker 4: I do have money on it right now because I'm
- 37:46Speaker 4: constantly using it. But I'd say I've probably got maybe
- 37:49Speaker 4: one thousand dollars on it, so I can pay that
- 37:52Speaker 4: off next time I get paid. And I pain off
- 37:55Speaker 4: my heasteat about three years ago, which is a beautiful
- 37:57Speaker 4: thing to do.
- 37:58Speaker 2: Okay, Spinner, that's a bit of a flex. Okay, so
- 38:02Speaker 2: I've got kids and no heck step nice.
- 38:05Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's good. I major down.
- 38:07Speaker 2: I love that. Tell me what do you think your
- 38:08Speaker 2: best money havebit is?
- 38:10Speaker 4: I think overall, I'm just very conscious of my money.
- 38:13Speaker 4: So I don't tend to spend things necessarily. And it's
- 38:18Speaker 4: not to say that I won't buy a luxury item
- 38:21Speaker 4: here or there or something that I really want, but
- 38:24Speaker 4: I definitely think most of the times before buying things,
- 38:27Speaker 4: I try not to buy things on full price if
- 38:30Speaker 4: I can avoid. I feel like there's always a sale,
- 38:32Speaker 4: or there's always a discount code, or there's always a marketplace.
- 38:35Speaker 2: One hundred percent, And that's a very good mentality to have.
- 38:38Speaker 2: Irrespective like that means you're always going to look for one, yeah, one.
- 38:42Speaker 4: Hundred percent always, even if it's food, Like there's always like,
- 38:45Speaker 4: you know, some type of code out there for something.
- 38:47Speaker 2: One hundred percent. If it's not on sale, it coals
- 38:49Speaker 2: it's probably on salet wallis like, we need to be
- 38:52Speaker 2: smart about this, and if it's not on sale, it
- 38:54Speaker 2: either we are going to Audi.
- 38:56Speaker 4: I mean I do shove at out in mostly anyway.
- 38:59Speaker 4: There you go. So yeah, I think that's probably my
- 39:02Speaker 4: best money Habit just been conscious. I am always on marketplace.
- 39:06Speaker 4: I'm scouring. I'm a big believer in second hand. And
- 39:08Speaker 4: before you mentioned, you know, things for babies are expensive.
- 39:11Speaker 4: I've been so fortunate. So many of my friends you know,
- 39:15Speaker 4: had children before me and had given me so so much.
- 39:19Speaker 4: I have not had to buy pretty much anything for
- 39:22Speaker 4: price or at all.
- 39:23Speaker 2: I adore that. Now I'm in that sphere. It's actually wild.
- 39:28Speaker 2: One how much baby stuff costs, but two just how
- 39:33Speaker 2: little you use it. And I think you've got a
- 39:35Speaker 2: nearly two year old. Harvey my son, he's seven months
- 39:38Speaker 2: old now and he is a tiny pudding. So my
- 39:42Speaker 2: friend Harvey is like eleven kilos at seven months. He
- 39:45Speaker 2: is massive. He's like on the ninety nine percent.
- 39:49Speaker 4: I wasn't to say my two year old, isn't it Well,
- 39:51Speaker 4: he's not quite two, he's twelve and a half kilos.
- 39:53Speaker 2: There go, he is massive. I actually look because I'm
- 39:56Speaker 2: five two. I look comic cool carrying my child now
- 40:00Speaker 2: like he is just a tiny pudding. But the amount
- 40:03Speaker 2: of stuff that was only used for two or three
- 40:05Speaker 2: months at the very beginning, Like and seeing, I've got
- 40:08Speaker 2: one of my girlfriends, so it's just let me know
- 40:10Speaker 2: that she's pregnant. And I'm like, oh my god, so
- 40:12Speaker 2: I've got a capsule for you. I've got this, I've
- 40:14Speaker 2: got this, Otherwise it's just going to sit in storage.
- 40:17Speaker 2: I was like, do you want the snow, I've got
- 40:18Speaker 2: this snoo. I'm like, I'm just so excited that these
- 40:21Speaker 2: things are going to get another use. And I was like,
- 40:23Speaker 2: only thing I need you to do with it is
- 40:25Speaker 2: make sure it comes back to me when I have
- 40:26Speaker 2: another baby. Thank you? All good. I feel like you
- 40:29Speaker 2: want your friends to have the things that you've got
- 40:32Speaker 2: because you just know it's so expensive and you would
- 40:35Speaker 2: have spent heaps of cash anyway, like even just to
- 40:37Speaker 2: get there, but then food and then nabbies, and then
- 40:41Speaker 2: you know whether you breastfed or formula fed. I think
- 40:43Speaker 2: there's this massive misconception that breastfeeding is somehow free, like
- 40:48Speaker 2: absolutely not like pumping organizing the time, the energy, the effort,
- 40:53Speaker 2: like there's just so many hidden costs, and I think
- 40:56Speaker 2: it's just it's so nice when women rally around women
- 40:59Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, babe, no worries, I've got a
- 41:01Speaker 2: cop for you. Like, oh, the pressure that gets taken off.
- 41:05Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's probably Yeah, that's money habit. I think
- 41:07Speaker 4: secondhand is best.
- 41:09Speaker 2: Oh is it bad that I wake up in the
- 41:11Speaker 2: morning and one of the first things I check is
- 41:13Speaker 2: market Place just to see what's going on.
- 41:14Speaker 4: I know, people give away so much stuff, it's amazing.
- 41:18Speaker 1: I love it.
- 41:19Speaker 2: I did it last weekend. Actually, I've been clearing out
- 41:21Speaker 2: and you know when you just sometimes you're like, I
- 41:23Speaker 2: know I could sell this for money, but at the moment,
- 41:26Speaker 2: I just need to get rid of it, Like we're
- 41:28Speaker 2: about to renovate. I just need to get rid of it.
- 41:30Speaker 2: So I gave away a chair on Facebook and it
- 41:33Speaker 2: was a She's on the money girl and she messaged
- 41:36Speaker 2: me and she's like, yeah, I love it. And then
- 41:37Speaker 2: she's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. You are
- 41:39Speaker 2: actually like Victoria, right, And I was like yes, And
- 41:43Speaker 2: I was like and I'm glad we're meeting here because
- 41:45Speaker 2: this is very authentic to both of us. I was like,
- 41:47Speaker 2: this is money win thread worthy like this absolutely, like
- 41:51Speaker 2: you getting a free chair should go on the money
- 41:53Speaker 2: win thread. But I adore it. Tell me we're talking
- 41:58Speaker 2: good things. What's your worst money habit?
- 42:00Speaker 4: Look? I think because I am so good, every now
- 42:04Speaker 4: and then I do go a little crazy.
- 42:06Speaker 2: We have to you have to let it out.
- 42:07Speaker 4: I will find myself on sene or team or team.
- 42:11Speaker 4: It was amazing but terrible slip presot because everything individually
- 42:15Speaker 4: seems so cheap, and then you just keep adding and adding,
- 42:18Speaker 4: and I hate paying for postage, so I will find
- 42:21Speaker 4: that person. I will always keep adding until I get
- 42:24Speaker 4: free postage.
- 42:25Speaker 2: So but also you need to weigh it up. Is
- 42:27Speaker 2: free postage worth the amount that you're now spending in crap?
- 42:31Speaker 2: You don't need percent?
- 42:32Speaker 4: No, I just need to delete the APPSI off my phone.
- 42:34Speaker 4: But every now and then I just get sucked in
- 42:35Speaker 4: because I've been so good, and then I end up
- 42:37Speaker 4: with a whole bunch of stuff that I don't need.
- 42:40Speaker 4: I don't need it. Maybe I want it, but I
- 42:42Speaker 4: don't need it.
- 42:42Speaker 2: Oh that's fair. I feel like that's relatable though, and especially.
- 42:46Speaker 4: Now you can I can convince myself, well, it's for
- 42:48Speaker 4: the baby, and you.
- 42:50Speaker 2: Know, yeah, one hundred percent. And I mean it must
- 42:53Speaker 2: be semi liberating not having somebody else that you need
- 42:56Speaker 2: to check with, like no, no, no, I'm the captain here.
- 43:01Speaker 2: I make all the decisions. I don't even have to
- 43:03Speaker 2: consult with somebody else.
- 43:04Speaker 4: Yeah, but no, I do. I need to be I
- 43:07Speaker 4: think better at that. And going back to tracking my
- 43:09Speaker 4: money and getting a clearer of the year, going okay,
- 43:12Speaker 4: now a part time this is my income, How much
- 43:14Speaker 4: am I spending a month of grocery, petrol? And all
- 43:17Speaker 4: of those bits and pieces will give me that clarity
- 43:19Speaker 4: to go, okay, you actually do have this much money
- 43:21Speaker 4: to play with, you know, within your month, and.
- 43:23Speaker 2: I can fix that for you. Actually, I'm going to
- 43:25Speaker 2: give you the She's on the Money masterclass because I
- 43:27Speaker 2: think you're going to love it because it is going
- 43:29Speaker 2: to not only help you track that and split it
- 43:32Speaker 2: up like it splits it up into like what banking
- 43:35Speaker 2: system you should you? So it says this is the
- 43:37Speaker 2: bank account it goes into, and this is how much
- 43:39Speaker 2: each month or each fortnite goes in here, and this
- 43:41Speaker 2: is what you're spending on food, fuel, and fun, and
- 43:42Speaker 2: this is what you're spending on your child and this
- 43:44Speaker 2: is your savings goal. I think it'll kick you into
- 43:46Speaker 2: gear because it's also going to make you really think
- 43:48Speaker 2: about those money goals, because I know you said at
- 43:51Speaker 2: the start you're like, oh, v I've really got to
- 43:53Speaker 2: sit down. I think this is going to be get
- 43:55Speaker 2: your money goal together, get your cash flow together, and
- 43:57Speaker 2: I think that you'll love it. So I'm going to
- 43:59Speaker 2: give that to you.
- 44:00Speaker 4: Oh my god, thank you. That is so sweet.
- 44:01Speaker 2: Oh, don't be silly like it's a little thank you.
- 44:04Speaker 2: I suppose we're doing a money story because I'm super
- 44:06Speaker 2: grateful for it, but obviously you're listening to the show
- 44:09Speaker 2: and you're like, I want that. I want a cheeky
- 44:12Speaker 2: little discount in the show notes for you. But oh,
- 44:15Speaker 2: I think that that will really help you. I think
- 44:18Speaker 2: like you've touched all the points and I'm like, hold on,
- 44:20Speaker 2: hold on, this actually would solve this. I can do
- 44:23Speaker 2: that today. I love that. But this has been so good,
- 44:25Speaker 2: Like I love that you've just been so smart, like
- 44:30Speaker 2: not just with finance, but you're like, actually, this is
- 44:32Speaker 2: a thing that I want in my life, and I'm
- 44:34Speaker 2: just going to go for it. I don't need somebody
- 44:36Speaker 2: else to validate that. I don't need somebody else to
- 44:39Speaker 2: wait for having a kid, Like it must have been
- 44:42Speaker 2: a hard decision to make, but now that you're a mom,
- 44:44Speaker 2: you're probably like best decision ever.
- 44:46Speaker 4: It is absolutely And I will say, like, my boy's
- 44:50Speaker 4: so beautiful and he's such a good kid. But the
- 44:52Speaker 4: hard days are hard, you know, because you are on
- 44:55Speaker 4: twenty four seven there is no break, so it is
- 44:59Speaker 4: really tricky. But the good days are amazing and most
- 45:01Speaker 4: of the days are good.
- 45:03Speaker 2: And the bad ones are fleeting. Like I know that
- 45:05Speaker 2: it would be really tough, but again, it's a season
- 45:07Speaker 2: of life. And when you zoom out, you're like, that
- 45:10Speaker 2: is worth it, Like it is.
- 45:12Speaker 4: It is. I don't look back at all, Like, you know,
- 45:14Speaker 4: I'm just so grateful for him, And I think for
- 45:18Speaker 4: anyone considering going down this pathway, you know, my biggest
- 45:22Speaker 4: advice would just book an appointment and just get some
- 45:25Speaker 4: information and cejas sit with it, because as women, we
- 45:29Speaker 4: don't have sadly and endless time to be able to
- 45:33Speaker 4: do it, so we do have to think about it
- 45:35Speaker 4: while we're in our certain age range.
- 45:38Speaker 2: I guess, isn't that that's so sucky, but like it's
- 45:41Speaker 2: so true, and I think that as much as we can,
- 45:44Speaker 2: like dance around it and be kind like, Unfortunately, if
- 45:47Speaker 2: you get to an age, there's going to be a
- 45:49Speaker 2: no turnback, Like you can't go back and make that
- 45:52Speaker 2: decision later. So I love this and I feel like
- 45:54Speaker 2: it's probably in the grand scheme of things, taking a
- 45:57Speaker 2: lot of pressure off you as well to find a
- 45:59Speaker 2: partner so that now if you meet someone, you're like,
- 46:02Speaker 2: it's not this pressure to have kids. I don't have that,
- 46:05Speaker 2: Like I just want to find the right person for me,
- 46:08Speaker 2: and like now they get a bonus.
- 46:10Speaker 4: Friend exactly, anything's possible.
- 46:13Speaker 2: I love that one hundred percent money does. I have
- 46:17Speaker 2: adored this. I've learned so much and I feel like
- 46:20Speaker 2: the community is going to love this episode honestly, probably
- 46:23Speaker 2: more than I have, which is a lot. So it
- 46:25Speaker 2: has been a pleasure. But sadly, that is all we
- 46:27Speaker 2: have time for today. So oh, thank you so much
- 46:30Speaker 2: for sharing your story and your journey and being so open,
- 46:32Speaker 2: because I feel like I've adored it. The ad buy
- 46:42Speaker 2: shared on She's on the Money is general in nature
- 46:44Speaker 2: and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the
- 46:48Speaker 2: Money exists purely for educational purposes. And should not be
- 46:52Speaker 2: relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If
- 46:55Speaker 2: you do choose to buy a financial product, read the
- 46:57Speaker 2: PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.
- 47:02Speaker 2: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
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- 47:09Speaker 2: N three two one six four nine two seven seven
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- 47:15Speaker 2: eight nine