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Teknichal Difficulties · No One Gets Hurt

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Damn, that's not gonna be the Netflix special, huh?
0:02
SPEAKER_04: No.
0:04
SPEAKER_04: And look, Mid throwing up, he's grabbing the mic, like, please don't record this.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
0:09
SPEAKER_04: I listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: This is a podcast that focuses on crimes and scams where no one physically is harmed.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: This is a podcast for information and physically harmed.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Nothing in this podcast should be taken as legal advice.
0:25
SPEAKER_04: So listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:27
SPEAKER_04: You already said that.
0:29
SPEAKER_04: Alright, well, don't forget to like and subscribe and in the comments.
0:32
SPEAKER_04: Tell us which game you'd like us to cover next time.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk about your case today.
0:37
SPEAKER_03: No, what's serious about case though?
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Is it criminal or is it civil?
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Which one do you think it is?
0:44
SPEAKER_04: Which one's cheaper?
0:46
SPEAKER_04: Which one do I have to require the idea I need you in?
0:49
SPEAKER_04: Criminals for for sure gotta be cheaper.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Are you serious?
0:52
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, you don't have to pay a fine.
0:54
SPEAKER_04: But then you have to go to jail too.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, criminals sometimes you have to pay a fine.
0:58
SPEAKER_04: I had to pay seven thousand dollars.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:00
SPEAKER_04: Because you can get hit with a a criminal and a civil.
1:03
SPEAKER_04: They always had the civil on top.
1:04
SPEAKER_04: That's right.
1:05
SPEAKER_04: I didn't get hit with a civil, but I did have to pay uh a restitution.
1:09
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so you had to pay something.
1:11
SPEAKER_04: That's right.
1:12
SPEAKER_04: Was it a lot?
1:12
SPEAKER_04: Is it a good one?
1:14
SPEAKER_04: Seven grand?
1:15
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:16
SPEAKER_04: And I couldn't get this is fucked up.
1:18
SPEAKER_04: So I couldn't get my license until I paid that shit off.
1:22
SPEAKER_04: I paid it off in like a year and a half.
1:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
1:24
SPEAKER_04: Now two months later, Virginia passed a law where they can't fucking hold your license for non-payment anymore.
1:30
SPEAKER_04: Damn, dude.
1:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I was pissed.
1:31
SPEAKER_04: So they changed the law for you?
1:33
SPEAKER_04: No.
1:34
SPEAKER_04: I feel like that's a good idea.
1:36
SPEAKER_04: We should change things around here and get the phone in his law.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're back this week.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: We have our guest.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: It's tech.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Tech.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Want to give us your handle?
1:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh it's.tech at Instagram.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: So I say we're having tech back because we had technical difficulties.
1:59
SPEAKER_03: I knew that was coming.
2:01
SPEAKER_03: The moment the part of the guy's like, uh, we're gonna I have a good opening for the second one.
2:06
SPEAKER_03: Honestly.
2:08
SPEAKER_03: The second one's gonna be better to you.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, it just came to me.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm not kidding right now.
2:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but Amy I got bro.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so technical difficulties, but now we have tech in person, ready to go.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Hey.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm the first technically returning guest, then, right?
2:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah, right.
2:28
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be a three-time guest.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: We have a secret episode recorded on my cell phone, so one day we will release it.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: It was a good one, honestly.
2:36
SPEAKER_04: It was a great episode.
2:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I confessed to a murder on that one.
2:40
SPEAKER_03: It really I just uh committed so many crimes on that episode.
2:46
SPEAKER_04: Abricadabra bee.
2:50
SPEAKER_03: They were giving it to us.
2:52
SPEAKER_03: It was like, dude, I can't believe they're falling for it.
2:54
SPEAKER_03: Holy shit.
2:55
SPEAKER_03: God, that's funny.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh, so what have you been doing comedy-wise?
3:00
SPEAKER_00: I know what you did uh Thursday night.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: We were there.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: So we were at Proof in Santa Ana.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: It's this great underground bar, literally underground.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: And uh Tuck runs the room.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: It was great.
3:13
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:14
SPEAKER_04: I helped Dan Zembon.
3:15
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I was like, yeah, I'll have you guys on a show together.
3:18
SPEAKER_04: This smells like a kangaroo locker room down there.
3:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, we tried to keep that set.
3:24
SPEAKER_04: Gives it that homey feeling.
3:26
SPEAKER_03: People actually uh compliment that all the time.
3:29
SPEAKER_03: It's actually their favorite part of the bar.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: It's actually a special aroma that they had designed for the room.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: You can do that now.
3:35
SPEAKER_03: You have to take like a homeless guy and then like their tea back, you know, just like leave it.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: Let him marinate for three days.
3:41
SPEAKER_03: You don't want to overcook it.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: That's fucking disgusting.
3:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, no, let them shit and piss down there.
3:45
SPEAKER_03: It's all right.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: But then you you wipe it down with some IPAs.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:49
SPEAKER_04: It's a good mixture, you know.
3:50
SPEAKER_04: It's a good room, though.
3:51
SPEAKER_04: I always have fun when I go there.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: It's such a good room.
3:54
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's hard.
3:54
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
3:55
SPEAKER_04: It's good.
3:55
SPEAKER_04: Honestly.
3:56
SPEAKER_04: When it's good, it's good.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, when when it cause it's big enough but small enough.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you should just saw the ending though.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like at the end, they were just blaring music.
4:07
SPEAKER_03: And there were like three people left in the last comic.
4:09
SPEAKER_03: Gage Johnson was like, Do I have to do this?
4:11
SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, oh fuck.
4:13
SPEAKER_03: If you want to, I'll sit right here and you can just perform to me, brother.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, some comics like Don Al Rawlings and Dave Chappelle bring a DJ with them.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's kind of you're kind of giving those vibes, you know.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: You're giving us big league vibes having DJs.
4:28
SPEAKER_04: What you're gonna have to face like a G6 while you're trying to do your stuff.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Speaking of Dave Chappelle, did you see I'm gonna get there, but did you see Shane Gillis sold out your home, your home state?
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Go birds.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the Philly, 72,000 plus.
4:44
SPEAKER_03: Greatest record in history.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: So green record is outdoor arena ever.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: Like too big, honestly.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: I know.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: I wonder how.
4:52
SPEAKER_03: There's no way people in the back are hearing him.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm thinking it's gotta be a lot of echo.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: Like a wave of laughter.
4:58
SPEAKER_04: You know what?
4:58
SPEAKER_04: I thought I was gonna have that problem at uh Kia Forum.
5:02
SPEAKER_04: I went and saw uh Gabriel the Glacius.
5:05
SPEAKER_04: Oh, you saw him and I was in the fucking yeah, I might as well have been against the back wall all the way up top, basically.
5:11
SPEAKER_04: But I could hear just fine.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: But this is outside.
5:14
SPEAKER_04: I guess that's true.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: It's not and the thing is I watched the forum tune and I was like pretty close, but even then, like when you're like in the fucking mezzanine, I'm just watching the big screen because I can barely see the comments.
5:25
SPEAKER_03: I'm just paying money to watch a screen, I can just do the shit at home.
5:28
SPEAKER_03: Yes and no.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes and no, I think I think when you're there, there's certain things that happen that you're maybe not gonna see if it went to a special, you know.
5:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that Gabriel Iglesias drinking an entire fifth of Patron and throwing up on stage.
5:44
SPEAKER_04: Wait, what?
5:45
SPEAKER_04: Jesus Christ, dude.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: When was that?
5:47
SPEAKER_04: At the show when I went, so it was like two years ago, Valentine's Day show.
5:51
SPEAKER_04: I didn't know he was a drinker.
5:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, randomly won fucking tickets uh on the the radio.
5:56
SPEAKER_04: Me and uh on the radio?
5:59
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, bro, on the radio because my car is old as fuck.
6:02
SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
6:03
SPEAKER_04: You know, Bluetooth is gonna be.
6:04
SPEAKER_03: First of all, you listen to radio and you're calling in?
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Holy s.
6:07
SPEAKER_04: There's like two people calling in another, like, oh that's fucking sucks.
6:10
SPEAKER_04: 15 years old when that car came out, dog.
6:12
SPEAKER_03: Damn, dude.
6:13
SPEAKER_04: It's like oh seven.
6:14
SPEAKER_04: Uh I think it's almost legal.
6:16
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, he fucking after the show, he went over like two hours.
6:20
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
6:22
SPEAKER_04: They have presented him with like his own special bottle of Patron, and he drank the whole bitch in like three fucking sit.
6:28
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
6:29
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
6:29
SPEAKER_04: Honestly, it turned kind of dark because like he threw up on the stage and then he started like confessing his love for his ex to his kid.
6:38
SPEAKER_04: Shut the fuck up.
6:40
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it got ugly.
6:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's not gonna be the Netflix special, huh?
6:43
SPEAKER_03: No.
6:44
unknown: Like cut.
6:45
SPEAKER_04: And look, mid throwing up, he's grabbing the mic, like, please don't record this.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
6:51
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh, and then I'm gonna record this video.
6:53
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there were so many phones out.
6:54
SPEAKER_04: I would be like, record this, bitches.
6:56
SPEAKER_03: I need the numbers.
6:58
SPEAKER_04: You can find it on the internet.
6:59
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm I'm looking for that.
7:01
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: So, but Shane Gillis brought out Dave Chappelle at the I think end of his show.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: I think so, yeah.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: I think it's at the end of the show.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: So that was pretty cool.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: That's that's pretty crazy when you had that kind of pull just to pull out Dave Chappelle with like a special guest and shit.
7:13
SPEAKER_04: He probably was just in the in the city.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, I think it was planned.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, so I saw bits.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, com yeah, com the comedy seller, I think that's saying it right in New York.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Um Dave did a thing where he brought Shane to the stage because to do his Trump impression.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: Or he has he has a tr not it might not be.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: It's a Trump impression.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: It's it's a Trump joke that lends itself to a Trump impression.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: It's talking about like how um, and this is before Trump was attempted assassination, like saw that.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: And it was like basically saying, like, he, I know, he uh he was saying like you have to admit he'd be the funniest president to be shot at because he would and then like it didn't hurt me, you know, like whatever, that's not a very good impression.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Everybody I know.
7:58
SPEAKER_04: No shooters, you're no shooter, yeah.
7:59
SPEAKER_04: Like shooters, yeah.
8:03
SPEAKER_03: We got some of the best shooters, actually.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: And then it was like, and he's like, Biden is the first president you could just punch assassinate.
8:13
SPEAKER_03: That's my favorite part of the joke.
8:14
SPEAKER_03: Like, what's up, Mr.
8:16
SPEAKER_03: President?
8:19
SPEAKER_03: I gotta that is honestly some that's one of my favorite jokes.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know if there's that bond.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure, but yeah, I think definitely brought Chappelle out.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: And Chappelle had a couple, I from what I could see from Instagram, he had a couple really good jokes on.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know how long it went, but I mean I'm I'm just getting my clips off of Instagram.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for the Netflix.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: 72,000.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a lot.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: That's a fuckload of people.
8:42
SPEAKER_03: You may be millions of people.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I I assume it's got to be at least like 10 million, right?
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Like at least.
8:48
SPEAKER_04: At least.
8:48
SPEAKER_04: My thing about that though is like if I could make a room with 50 people cackle, there's no way I wouldn't tear up a fucking stadium.
8:56
SPEAKER_04: You have more odds.
8:57
SPEAKER_04: That's true.
8:58
SPEAKER_04: Way more people to make laugh.
8:59
SPEAKER_04: Usually the bigger crowds are really easy to do better in too.
9:02
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, too.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: I will say it's interesting.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: I've heard like Rogan talk about how they put together the mothership in Austin.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: It's an interesting the philosophy on how they set it up, my if my recollection is correct, it's like you have to have the ceiling a perfect height, you have to have the chairs next to each other a perfect distance.
9:19
SPEAKER_04: The darkest they're all on cocaine and they just have to be exactly autistic.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't I don't think Rogan does coke.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh he's actually said many times he hasn't crazy.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: He he he um he gives that impressive.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't know.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
9:39
SPEAKER_04: Spectra maybe is way too up here, bro.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's I think that's what he says, is like why he doesn't do it because he knows like he just wouldn't be a good combination for him.
9:47
SPEAKER_04: He might have ADHD.
9:48
SPEAKER_04: It might calm his ass down, like Adderall or Ritalin.
9:52
SPEAKER_04: Him doing online and like just shadow box in the corner.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: But no, I guess Joe, chill.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: But I guess they did this like going around all different clubs and kind of understanding like where ceiling heights are and like darkness.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that means make a difference.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Because I guess it makes a difference with in terms of like people feeling comfortable to laugh in the darkness next to each other.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: So like when it's dark, when it's tight, when it's low.
10:18
SPEAKER_04: That's how I like it too.
10:20
SPEAKER_04: Buzz.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about an audience here.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: Not an audience of one.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: We're just talking about anyway.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: So that's so I don't know.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: It'd be interesting to see, you know.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: I think there's different uh, let me say, different uh obstacles, so I think with the bigger arena, you know.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh, for sure.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: From a logistics standpoint, yeah.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: But all the people from an experience standpoint, but then you have to imagine everyone that's there is there to see Shane.
10:50
SPEAKER_03: So he already has exactly that there's at least like two people like, oh let's just buy tickets to whatever's plane.
10:57
SPEAKER_04: I don't I don't know how much the tickets were, but I can't imagine they were cheap though.
11:01
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Couple hundred season ticket holders that are just like, oh, we'll just go.
11:06
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I forgot.
11:07
SPEAKER_04: Oh no, do you have like season ticket holders there?
11:09
SPEAKER_04: Does that I mean I don't know about it?
11:11
SPEAKER_04: I think that sometimes it includes other.
11:12
SPEAKER_04: I know like the Hollywood Bowl does that.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:15
SPEAKER_04: Damn, that's crazy to get season passes to arena?
11:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: How much entertainment do you need a year, dude?
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Well, businesses do it.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know.
11:25
SPEAKER_03: If they can do a monthly subscription, they would honestly.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, they they entertain like their clients and stuff, so that's why they do it.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that makes sense, actually.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like the suites and things like that.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: So like if you have season tickets to like was it at the Eagles Stadium?
11:39
SPEAKER_02: At Lincoln Fields.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: So if you have season tickets to the Eagles, I don't think that you would get to go to that.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: But if you have like a box, like a box suite, you probably have tickets to it, most likely.
11:51
SPEAKER_04: I don't understand the boxes.
11:53
SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be that far from the action.
11:54
SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to be front row.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been in a box?
11:58
SPEAKER_04: He's been in a cage, actually.
12:00
SPEAKER_03: Fuck you.
12:02
SPEAKER_03: It's a box that you can't, they don't let you out.
12:06
SPEAKER_03: You have to go back in the box now.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: I have to say, being in a suite for an outside game on a summer day is the best thing out there.
12:19
SPEAKER_04: I guess that's valid because it's air conditioned.
12:20
SPEAKER_04: Air conditioned.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: You have your own bathroom.
12:23
SPEAKER_04: But isn't it muted though?
12:24
SPEAKER_04: Like there's no disconnect between you and the environment.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Huh?
12:30
SPEAKER_04: It's got a speaker.
12:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:33
SPEAKER_04: Same concept.
12:34
SPEAKER_04: You got speakers out in the stands.
12:36
SPEAKER_04: No, but you can hear the crowd though.
12:37
SPEAKER_04: You can like be with the environment.
12:40
SPEAKER_04: Well, I've seen some of them where they're gonna be.
12:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I know some of them have a glass.
12:43
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: Most of them don't have a glass, I would say.
12:45
SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then you and then like uh we have a friend who uh has season tickets through his work uh to the ducks.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: And so they have like I think it's like two rows of seats that are like stadium seats, and then they have the suite behind it.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: So you're in it.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: That's nice.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's pretty nice.
13:03
SPEAKER_04: Damn.
13:03
SPEAKER_04: I've never been to one of those first world problems.
13:06
SPEAKER_04: I know.
13:06
SPEAKER_04: I think this is beyond first world problems.
13:08
SPEAKER_04: This is like zero world problems.
13:12
SPEAKER_03: This makes my first world problem feel third world.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: If you had unlimited funds, would you buy season tickets to a a game or like to a team?
13:23
SPEAKER_04: To a team?
13:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
13:25
SPEAKER_04: No.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: No.
13:25
SPEAKER_04: No.
13:26
SPEAKER_04: What about you?
13:27
SPEAKER_04: Like I like sports, but not that much.
13:28
SPEAKER_04: Maybe like an AMC pass or something.
13:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, if I had to be unlimited funds, I would just buy a ticket with a few.
13:32
SPEAKER_04: I would just buy an arena, actually.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: That's that's a fucking point.
13:37
SPEAKER_04: You got all the money.
13:37
SPEAKER_04: Fuck.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: That's what I mean.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, how much money though?
13:41
SPEAKER_00: That's gonna take like that's I mean you said it's unlimited.
13:46
SPEAKER_04: Put a number on it.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay, how about this?
13:48
SPEAKER_00: If you had 16.5 million dollars, what would you do?
13:51
SPEAKER_04: Can I buy an arena with that stuff?
13:52
SPEAKER_04: Probably overdose.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: If you give you your money then.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: Let me hold 16 million for a year, then you can just kill yourself with the overdose.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: By the way, you're not accounting for taxes, so that's gonna be a problem right there.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: So 16.5 pre-tax.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: So that's probably like what I guess it depends on where it came from.
14:17
SPEAKER_04: True.
14:17
SPEAKER_04: Because the gaming commission, if you'd like you hit the lottery or whatever or whatever, they're gonna take 40% of that.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Right.
14:23
SPEAKER_04: So you're gonna be left with about probably like 9.7-ish.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: So you might be able to buy like a minor league arena.
14:30
SPEAKER_04: Nah, I'm good then.
14:31
SPEAKER_04: At that point, I wouldn't even bother.
14:32
SPEAKER_04: Right.
14:33
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, what are we doing then?
14:34
SPEAKER_04: If we were talking about like billions, you know what I mean?
14:36
SPEAKER_04: I would I might fuck around and buy a stadium, but so the millions you overdose, but the billions you want to stay alive.
14:42
SPEAKER_04: I mean, you know, I feel a little bit worth living.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: Why would I kill myself?
14:48
SPEAKER_03: I'm rich.
14:49
SPEAKER_04: I don't mean intentionally.
14:51
SPEAKER_04: What the fuck?
14:52
SPEAKER_04: I just take better drugs now.
14:53
SPEAKER_04: What are you talking about?
14:54
SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah, my drugs are clean.
14:57
SPEAKER_04: I actually make my own drugs.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: And let me just remind everybody at this point in time that this is a podcast where no one gets hurt.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:04
SPEAKER_04: And that I've also been sober for 16 years.
15:06
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
15:06
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
15:07
SPEAKER_04: And I don't have a warrant out for my name right now, so don't check.
15:10
SPEAKER_04: Allegedly.
15:11
SPEAKER_04: Allegedly.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: At least in California.
15:13
SPEAKER_04: Always.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, interestingly enough, my crime today does deal with the lottery.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh there's lottery crimes?
15:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: What are they doing?
15:25
SPEAKER_02: Like forging like winning tickets or something?
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: That sounds like that sounds pretty cool.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like a heist almost.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: Kind of.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: So um again, going with the theme of today, you like to gamble.
15:37
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I am Asian, so like at an Asian level, but I feel like a normal level, it's like and then being that your name is tech.
15:46
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: That's unfortunate.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: You're heights, you're high tech.
15:49
SPEAKER_04: Oh, obviously.
15:50
SPEAKER_04: I'm fucking high.
15:52
SPEAKER_04: I'm fucking sleepy.
15:53
SPEAKER_04: It's not 30, bro.
15:54
SPEAKER_04: High tech is also a brand of lean.
15:56
SPEAKER_04: That's crazy.
15:56
SPEAKER_04: What?
15:57
SPEAKER_04: High tech.
15:58
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:01
SPEAKER_04: That's funny.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: It's either uh I think James got a giggle out of that one too.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: He's like, oh, you learn something new every day, huh?
16:07
SPEAKER_04: We gotta we gotta get James a mic, dude.
16:09
SPEAKER_04: I know, right?
16:10
SPEAKER_04: We gotta get a mic.
16:11
SPEAKER_04: He's such a nice voice.
16:12
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, dude, he should take my spot.
16:14
SPEAKER_04: I know.
16:15
SPEAKER_04: I can do the cameras and the audio.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: He can be James is our video producer.
16:22
SPEAKER_04: James, just come out here and sit in the cuck, too.
16:23
SPEAKER_04: Oh, he's a big book.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: He's busy.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: He's busy.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: You lay across me at Toby's lap.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: So my case involves a guy named Eddie Tipton, and this is based in Iowa.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And it was called the Hot Lottery.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: So it's five balls and then one hot ball.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Pause.
16:46
SPEAKER_03: And uh before we go on, can I point out one thing?
16:52
SPEAKER_03: One good thing.
16:54
SPEAKER_04: You guys asked me what my coffee order was, right?
16:55
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
16:56
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, just give me whatever you guys get, you know?
16:58
SPEAKER_04: I don't want to make it hard.
16:59
SPEAKER_04: And this guy says, grow up.
17:02
SPEAKER_03: Okay, no, you know what?
17:03
SPEAKER_03: Give me a blanket, three-pump syrup, you know.
17:07
SPEAKER_04: I was like, what?
17:08
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna I'm gonna double check because I think I'm pretty sure that was.
17:11
SPEAKER_04: Unless it's like a crazy order, like three plus shots, then.
17:14
SPEAKER_04: That's what it was.
17:14
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, you said two plus.
17:16
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
17:17
SPEAKER_04: I was like, grow the fuck up.
17:18
SPEAKER_04: Well, that means three or more.
17:20
SPEAKER_04: That's a lot.
17:21
SPEAKER_04: Bro, what do you mean?
17:22
SPEAKER_04: Dude, I'll drink a Red Bull and then drink six.
17:24
SPEAKER_04: You have problems.
17:25
SPEAKER_04: You're not wrong.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: Do you do you enjoy the coffee though?
17:28
SPEAKER_00: The coffee's good, right?
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the coffee's great.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: Grounded coffee and coronad on Mar.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: I just usually drink coffee when I'm at work, so it has like this weird PTSD thing when I drink, I'm like, okay, I gotta fucking do something right now, you know?
17:42
SPEAKER_04: Lock in.
17:43
SPEAKER_04: I never ever maybe every five years, I'll drink coffee like on a weekend.
17:48
SPEAKER_04: Really?
17:48
SPEAKER_04: Or like casually.
17:50
SPEAKER_04: It's good.
17:51
SPEAKER_04: It's not crack, like, it's just coffee.
17:53
SPEAKER_04: I know it's not crack.
17:54
SPEAKER_04: I've done crack, it's way better.
17:55
SPEAKER_04: Me too.
17:56
SPEAKER_04: I hated it.
17:57
SPEAKER_04: Crack doesn't make me want to shit my pants, dude.
18:00
SPEAKER_04: I don't remember wanting to shit my lips, but I do remember thinking I was going to jail while doing nothing illegal.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: No, he's saying the coffee makes some shit as pants.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
18:08
SPEAKER_04: IBS.
18:09
SPEAKER_04: I'll be shitting too.
18:11
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, nice.
18:12
SPEAKER_05: Dumb as word.
18:13
SPEAKER_04: Nice.
18:15
SPEAKER_04: You guys are good.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Well, I learned about I learned about tech on Thursday night that he used to cook crack.
18:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_04: You look like it.
18:25
SPEAKER_04: That's fucked up.
18:26
SPEAKER_04: The zestiest crack dealer I ever seen.
18:28
SPEAKER_03: Okay, you keep calling me zesty, but I don't know what this where this is coming from right now.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: This is very off-putting.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: I feel very unwelcome, dear, right now.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: Zesty?
18:40
SPEAKER_03: What do you mean?
18:41
SPEAKER_03: I'm sleeping.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: Zesty?
18:43
SPEAKER_03: That's what I mean.
18:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh fuck you, dude.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: I do to make it.
18:48
SPEAKER_03: You laugh.
18:49
SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
18:50
SPEAKER_03: Fucking boring, dude.
18:53
SPEAKER_03: I did learn how to cook crack.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: That part is true.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: It's not always the best to I always want to admit it, but it's not easy.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's not hard to learn, though.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: It's like on a real.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: It's really not.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: It's like four steps.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: It's like four fucking steps.
19:04
SPEAKER_02: Like a fucking idiot can make crack.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: It's pretty good.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: It's like it takes away the impression impressiveness of like crack cookers and dealers.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, it's kind of entry-level shit.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: I mean, to be fair, I don't even like to have food cooked by my friends in their house in their kitchen.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't know that I'm trusting their crack?
19:21
SPEAKER_00: Gomer pile.
19:23
SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm not gonna be making drugs.
19:24
SPEAKER_04: Putting your chicken breast in a pipe and smoking it.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: No, but like, but like, is your cat on the counter while you're making crack?
19:32
SPEAKER_04: Of course not.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm smoking this crack too.
19:35
SPEAKER_03: He makes a good point.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: Why would I cook dirty crack for myself?
19:40
SPEAKER_03: You want to cook for yourself?
19:41
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, this is gonna be the best meal.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: No, but like on the fucking counter.
19:48
SPEAKER_03: I don't even do that for my girlfriend.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Do you understand that like people make cookies with like cats on the counter?
19:55
SPEAKER_00: So it's like, how do I know this?
19:56
SPEAKER_00: That's disgusting.
20:00
SPEAKER_04: I love my cat and I love my dogs, but they better stay the fuck out of my kitchen.
20:04
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: Well the dog is gonna have a hard time getting on a counter.
20:07
SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
20:08
SPEAKER_04: They're pit bulls, they can jump pretty high.
20:10
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
20:10
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: Alright.
20:11
SPEAKER_04: My white pit bull will jump on a counter.
20:13
SPEAKER_04: Why did you have to bull?
20:14
SPEAKER_04: I have two of them.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: But why did why did you have to racially profile?
20:18
SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
20:18
SPEAKER_04: Well, because the occasion her fence hopping days are over.
20:23
SPEAKER_04: Oh.
20:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
20:25
SPEAKER_04: It's a girl.
20:27
SPEAKER_04: Every animal in my house is a girl.
20:30
SPEAKER_04: Wait, what does that mean?
20:32
SPEAKER_04: That means I have three dogs and a cat, and they're all okay.
20:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
20:36
unknown: Damn.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: I think for the record, you're the one that called her an animal, so No.
20:41
SPEAKER_04: It doesn't matter.
20:41
SPEAKER_04: We're gonna cut that.
20:42
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
20:45
SPEAKER_04: Sorry, let's just go.
20:47
SPEAKER_04: Oh, we'll do it in the third episode.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: We'll get it right in there.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, so Eddie Tipton.
20:52
SPEAKER_03: Oh yes.
20:53
SPEAKER_03: Iowa.
20:53
SPEAKER_03: Hot numbers.
20:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_03: Balls.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Hot lottery.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: Uh is based in Iowa.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: It's I think it's around 2011, and the the lottery had hit 16.5 million dollars.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: And they have a winner, but the winner doesn't come forward.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: And you have a year to turn in the ticket.
21:13
SPEAKER_04: I didn't know that.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:14
SPEAKER_04: Well, I I know you had like a set amount of time, but I didn't know it was a year.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: I think every lottery possibly is different, but in this instance, it was about a year.
21:21
SPEAKER_04: I'd for sure wait about six months.
21:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
21:24
SPEAKER_04: Let everybody forget about it.
21:25
SPEAKER_04: So they said true, huh?
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Right.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: So I guess it's it's pretty standard for people to wait maybe 30 days, 45, 16 minutes.
21:32
SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
21:32
SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't wait an hour.
21:34
SPEAKER_03: 30 minutes, I'm already there.
21:36
SPEAKER_03: Like, where's my mom?
21:38
SPEAKER_03: Hurry up.
21:39
SPEAKER_03: I got an AK 47 to buy to protect myself.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Usually it's because they need to get a lawyer or financial advisor involved.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: It's a hefty thing to to pull in sixteen point five.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's pre tax against it.
21:55
SPEAKER_04: Here's my bank account number and my routing number.
21:58
SPEAKER_04: What's the very first thing you're doing?
22:01
SPEAKER_04: So you win the lottery.
22:02
SPEAKER_04: What's the very first thing you're doing?
22:03
SPEAKER_04: And I mean like that instant.
22:05
SPEAKER_04: Oh fucking get a full tank of gas for like the first time in 10 years.
22:11
SPEAKER_03: I never pump a full tank of gas, bro.
22:14
SPEAKER_03: I don't know that feeling.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
22:16
SPEAKER_03: I get a set amount every time I go and I do not go over it.
22:20
SPEAKER_03: Very tank.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: Then going to go pay off my debt in person.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: What about you, Tonya?
22:27
SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do?
22:28
SPEAKER_04: Rub one out.
22:29
SPEAKER_04: Dude, you can do that now.
22:30
SPEAKER_04: You don't have to win a lottery to do that.
22:32
SPEAKER_04: Post not clarity is real, bro.
22:33
SPEAKER_03: That's true, huh?
22:34
SPEAKER_03: It is real.
22:35
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
22:35
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna do that and then I'm calling a lawyer.
22:38
SPEAKER_03: You're so you were you really thought this one through.
22:41
SPEAKER_03: Bro.
22:42
SPEAKER_03: You guys are like telling each other what you're gonna do.
22:45
SPEAKER_04: So bad.
22:46
SPEAKER_04: That's so good.
22:47
SPEAKER_04: I want to get rich to give it away.
22:49
SPEAKER_04: It's crazy as well.
22:49
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna do it at the lottery office too.
22:52
SPEAKER_04: On the table.
22:54
SPEAKER_03: I got money.
22:57
SPEAKER_03: You're$100,000.
22:59
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
23:00
SPEAKER_04: They freeze all your assets.
23:06
SPEAKER_04: Fine.
23:07
SPEAKER_04: My Louis C.K.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: got dangerous.
23:13
SPEAKER_03: Advancement in your careers.
23:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna pay you good money.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: This is gonna ruin time, dude.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: This is a crime.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: Look, they already pulled a hot ball.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to pull a hot ball there, alright?
23:28
SPEAKER_03: I want more.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: Anyways.
23:36
SPEAKER_03: The zesty uh the zest the zesty the zesty uh standing.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Zesty Melesty over here.
23:47
SPEAKER_03: Zesty I'll take molesty work and put that on me.
23:52
SPEAKER_03: For the record, I do not encourage that one was off the cuff.
23:57
SPEAKER_03: These are all alleged.
23:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I do not stand by that one, actually.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Even though no one asked, I think the first thing I would do is once I see the money in my account, all right?
24:09
SPEAKER_00: I then politely tell my work goodbye.
24:12
SPEAKER_04: Oh fuck.
24:13
SPEAKER_04: Politely hell.
24:14
SPEAKER_04: Politely?
24:14
SPEAKER_04: Nah, breaking my keyboard.
24:17
SPEAKER_04: You could tell when somebody likes their job, they put in a two weeks.
24:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
24:22
SPEAKER_03: I even give you two hours, bitch.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: Two hours.
24:24
SPEAKER_04: Hell, you're gonna notice when I don't show up.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: It will be a two minutes.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: Two seconds.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
24:30
SPEAKER_04: The moment the last number.
24:32
SPEAKER_04: Oh, great.
24:33
SPEAKER_04: By the way, kiss my fucking ass.
24:36
SPEAKER_04: Bye.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I think that's the funniest idea is that when you think you've won the lottery and like people will be like middle fingers in the air, like, come out of here.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: And then it turns out, oh, you missed it by a number.
24:46
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
24:47
SPEAKER_04: That number literally just like you coming to work on a Monday or not.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: That's why I would want to make sure the money was in my account first.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: So man, you guys are so responsible.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: I'd be already spending it.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: I didn't have it.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, so anyway, so Eddie Tempton, going back to the technical aspect of it, um, so he he is involved in working for something called MUSL.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: They call it muscle, it's multi-state lottery association or something to that effect, right?
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Muscle.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: And he is the one who ends up being declared the winner.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna back up.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: So it's an hour and a half before the one year runs, and they have two lawyers show up and say, We're ready to collect on the ticket.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: And but Iowa is one of the one state that does not allow you to collect uh via anonymously.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: So you have to have like so there are states that will let you do it anonymously, love it, but Iowa will not.
25:46
SPEAKER_04: I love that.
25:46
SPEAKER_04: I love seeing the guys in like the fucking scream masks and the gloves and shit.
25:52
SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, you can come in a morphine suit or something.
25:56
SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: But I also think like, okay, so well, I guess I'll get into that in a second.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: But all right, so they're like, okay, who do you represent?
26:02
SPEAKER_00: They're like, we represent a trust and believe.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: And they're like, no, we have to know who the ticket is going to.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: Right, like the exact person.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Right.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: And then Eddie Tipton or whoever uh says, fine, I'm not gonna reclaim the ticket.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: So the person decided to forfeit 16.5 million dollars.
26:21
SPEAKER_01: Fuck that.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: Right.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: So it goes like unresolved for three years, and the Iowa district attorney's office or whatever decides to put a different prosecutor on it, and he has a financial background, or he that's what he specializes in financial crimes, and they're like, here you go, figure it out.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: So what he goes to do first is go back to they know where the ticket was sold, at what liquor store, and yeah, they know the exact time and all right, and they pulled the surveillance, which is interesting that it's still available three years later.
26:55
SPEAKER_04: So I don't know, but yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: And allegedly, I think it's like one of the only liquor stores that has audio along with the video.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: What are they?
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so they figure out that it's like this guy has this height, this size, and he has a southern accent, and they're like, it's gotta be Eddie Tempton.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Because they I guess they sent it out as like a it do you know this person?
27:17
SPEAKER_00: And then a tip came in that it was Eddie Tipton.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: A tip.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: Um so basically, uh Eddie Tempton's big defense is it can't be him because um he didn't have a beard.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: And the guy in the video has a beard.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: Three years premium?
27:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: And so they they have like his brother testify he didn't have a beard at the time.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: Like that's the big, like, you know.
27:38
SPEAKER_04: I had a beard down to my belly button three years ago.
27:40
SPEAKER_04: Did you really?
27:41
SPEAKER_04: I showed you pictures, yeah.
27:42
SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
27:43
SPEAKER_04: It was long as fuck.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Little Z top.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: Duck Dynasty situation.
27:46
SPEAKER_04: I did not need to know that.
27:48
SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to eat over here, bro.
27:50
SPEAKER_04: What?
27:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to eat.
27:52
SPEAKER_03: What?
27:53
SPEAKER_04: Like what?
27:54
SPEAKER_04: You don't eat when you're on crack.
27:56
SPEAKER_04: We know this.
27:57
SPEAKER_04: How do you know?
27:59
SPEAKER_04: Why aren't we the same weight then?
28:02
SPEAKER_04: Because I only smoked it once.
28:06
SPEAKER_04: All right, all right, buddy.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, yeah, anyways, Mr.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: Tipton.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: So they the prosecutor decides that it must be that Tipton, because Tipton worked for Muscle, which is the co corporation that picks the lottery tickets.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
28:27
SPEAKER_04: If you work for them, can you not play?
28:29
SPEAKER_04: I feel like you can't.
28:30
SPEAKER_04: I don't know that I don't know that probably.
28:32
SPEAKER_04: I mean, maybe kind of like being on a sports team and not being able to gamble.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah.
28:36
SPEAKER_04: I thought you can't gamble on yourself.
28:39
SPEAKER_04: I feel like this is the conversation we had when we had you before.
28:44
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I know.
28:44
SPEAKER_04: We still haven't resolved this issue.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: Here, here's a wild tangent, and it's and I don't want to get political, but uh wild tangent is apparently the guy that runs Trump's teleprompter got fired because he was wagering beds.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: So smart on like polymarket or something like that.
29:01
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's such a genius.
29:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, just type a little bit more, you know, let's get the overall.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: What Trump is gonna say during a speech.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: And so he was betting on it.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: But to be fair, Trump doesn't always rely on the teleprompter.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of a gabble on a cell phone.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so he got fired.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: It was like a hundred thousand dollars.
29:17
SPEAKER_04: That's for sure a gray area there.
29:19
SPEAKER_04: What'd you say?
29:19
SPEAKER_04: That's that's for sure a gray area.
29:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
29:21
SPEAKER_04: I think that's pretty black and white.
29:23
SPEAKER_04: Well, if he was specifically reading off the teleprompter instead of going on fucking dementia-fueled rants, that might be different.
29:32
SPEAKER_04: Well, the guy making the bed doesn't know that.
29:34
SPEAKER_04: He's like, oh, maybe he took his medication or something today.
29:37
SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
29:38
SPEAKER_00: Allegedly.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Anyways.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: So okay, so uh back to Eddie.
29:43
SPEAKER_00: So Eddie apparently is involved in like the high-tech aspect, back to tech, back to hassle at muscle, and they have two computers that generate the winning uh numbers, and they're in like glass, huh?
29:59
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: Well, they have two computers that like I guess speak to each other to pull the numbers.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: This is back in like 2011 ish.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: And so they're glass uh encased uh computers, and apparently like the whole room is under surveillance, so they are able to like know who's in and out of the room that picks the numbers, right?
30:20
SPEAKER_00: So, but they can't figure out uh what happened, like why uh he was able to get these winning numbers.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just seems it's there's a weird connection.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: Like like they're not a hundred percent sure how he did it, but it's like it's definitely him picking uh the tickets up at the liquor store, at least allegedly.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's definitely he had the winning ticket, but he definitely works for muscles.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: So the prosecutors like making the implication that he was able to get in with a flash drive, uh pull the numbers, or at least get estimated numbers, and then pick ticket tickets or ticket.
30:53
SPEAKER_04: Oh, so he like picked the numbers himself, yeah, as opposed to buying a quick pick.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Right.
30:58
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's where I wasn't understanding.
31:00
SPEAKER_04: I was like, the thing gives you the fucking numbers.
31:02
SPEAKER_04: No, no, no.
31:03
SPEAKER_04: He picked the numbers.
31:03
SPEAKER_04: Okay, okay, okay.
31:04
SPEAKER_04: I love that.
31:05
SPEAKER_04: I don't know people still did that.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh yeah.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: My dad has his numbers.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: Let's he has his lucky numbers, right?
31:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
31:11
SPEAKER_04: I think if they don't work after like five years or so, yeah.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: But you just have to keep, you just gotta keep them.
31:16
SPEAKER_04: They say you have a higher chance of like in the lottery, you just use the rando like feature.
31:20
SPEAKER_04: Not I pick stupid or something.
31:23
SPEAKER_04: Me too.
31:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
31:24
SPEAKER_04: And I very rarely do.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, so um, so yeah, so he ends up getting uh convicted and he is on appeal, and during appeal time he was out on bond.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't understand how Iowa does it, but that's what they were doing.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: And wouldn't you know it, the prosecutor's packing up his bags to move on to the next trial, and he gets a tip and he's like, hey, y'all have a checkout.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: And his brother, he won a lottery in Colorado a couple years back.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, it turns out Eddie's brother won a lottery, and one of Eddie's friends won a lottery.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
31:59
SPEAKER_04: So Eddie's just really lucky then, huh?
32:01
SPEAKER_00: He's just a lucky guy.
32:02
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god, he's giving me McDonald's Monopoly vibes.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: It very much so.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, so he goes and uh eventually, my understanding allegedly he pleads guilty to a couple rounds of fraud.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, and I think his brother uh pled as well, I believe.
32:22
SPEAKER_02: So is he in jail?
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Say what?
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Is he in jail still?
32:25
SPEAKER_02: No, no, hell no.
32:27
SPEAKER_02: They probably did minimal if it's a good thing.
32:28
SPEAKER_04: He got away scot-free then, basically, huh?
32:30
SPEAKER_02: Holy shit.
32:32
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, um because it's always like that thing where it's like, okay, you can get away with 20 million, but you gotta do like a couple years in jail.
32:37
SPEAKER_04: It's like actually it's not kind of a bad deal.
32:39
SPEAKER_04: Not at all.
32:40
SPEAKER_04: It's like you break it down per year.
32:41
SPEAKER_04: It's like you keep at least half.
32:44
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, no, you can keep most of it.
32:46
SPEAKER_04: You're smart enough, I guess.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: So he it says that he had been um he was pr arrested on two counts of fraud for attempting to illegally participate in a lottery game as an employee of Muscle.
32:59
SPEAKER_04: That's like a crime itself.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Apparently.
33:02
SPEAKER_00: And then uh and then trying to claim prize through fraudulent means.
33:06
SPEAKER_04: Damn.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
33:08
SPEAKER_04: So if he would have just gone and picked it up himself, he probably wouldn't have even had that problem.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: No, that's not true.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: I think that muscle would have been like, wait a second, that's all okay.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Wait a minute, for whatever it works.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so um, so basically they're saying he rigged the system uh in order to pick the numbers.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: He installed something called a root kit on the computer that contained the hot lotto's random number generator.
33:30
SPEAKER_04: That's hell yeah.
33:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
33:32
SPEAKER_04: That sounds cool.
33:34
SPEAKER_04: It's like a good movie or something.
33:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's a yeah, good documentary.
33:38
SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
33:39
SPEAKER_04: I would watch it.
33:40
SPEAKER_04: I'm going to watch it at Netflix.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's that's my crime, isn't that crazy?
33:45
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
33:45
SPEAKER_04: That's a mystery.
33:48
SPEAKER_04: This is reinforcing my theory.
33:50
SPEAKER_04: What?
33:50
SPEAKER_04: He already got away with it twice.
33:52
SPEAKER_04: More shit for the love of the game, bro.
33:55
SPEAKER_04: Right now, it's two times that they know of.
33:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, for sure.
33:58
SPEAKER_04: People be doing this shit just for him.
33:59
SPEAKER_04: If him and all of his friends won, that's what I'm saying.
34:02
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, he won multiple times for himself.
34:04
SPEAKER_04: For sure.
34:05
SPEAKER_04: You just it's just harder to create a self.
34:11
SPEAKER_03: No, he's lying, he's doing a bit, bro.
34:14
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, I'll be recording.
34:16
SPEAKER_03: Are you kidding me?
34:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
34:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: Why is it just with tech?
34:26
SPEAKER_02: I know, right?
34:27
SPEAKER_00: Do you not, do you not, do you not like tech?
34:32
SPEAKER_02: I know.
34:33
SPEAKER_02: I knew it.
34:34
SPEAKER_02: No.
34:35
SPEAKER_02: It's on me.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: It's my fault.
34:37
SPEAKER_02: I shouldn't even be on camera.
34:38
SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
34:38
SPEAKER_00: Wait, wait, wait.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: James, James, were you just kidding?
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Got your asses roasted.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:47
SPEAKER_03: What the hell?
34:49
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: We're still.
34:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, you look at it.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's a professional.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: Throw it inside the vet real quick.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: If I may, hello, I'm the mastermind of it.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: I told him to do that.
35:05
SPEAKER_04: Oh my.
35:06
SPEAKER_03: Did you?
35:07
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
35:07
SPEAKER_04: That's crazy.
35:08
SPEAKER_04: You're an asshole.
35:09
SPEAKER_04: That's crazy.
35:13
SPEAKER_04: You let us sit for a little bit too.
35:14
SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh shit, I guess it did.
35:16
SPEAKER_04: You're not doing a bit.
35:18
SPEAKER_04: Fuck.
35:18
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that was good.
35:19
SPEAKER_04: I was thinking, like, all right, so I gotta put them back to two months.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: I knew it had to be like after we had some juice, but not at the end.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: Because then it would be too.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
35:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: James and I, James and I were working on this for a couple days.
35:34
SPEAKER_04: James' working is that on other guys.
35:35
SPEAKER_04: Are you serious?
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:37
SPEAKER_04: You guys are assholes.
35:38
SPEAKER_04: Seriously.
35:40
SPEAKER_04: That should be illegal.
35:42
SPEAKER_04: I'm stupid.
35:44
SPEAKER_04: I would have done it.
35:46
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:47
SPEAKER_03: Let's see what's the caller.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: You could imagine I had to think of it.
35:51
SPEAKER_03: It's like, damn it, James.
35:52
SPEAKER_03: I didn't know this was on the menu.
35:53
SPEAKER_03: I didn't know we could incorporate you into our tricks and pranks.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: No, it's on the menu.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: That's the menu.
35:59
SPEAKER_03: Help me steal one of their wheels.
36:02
SPEAKER_03: Help me steal their catalog converter.
36:04
SPEAKER_03: It'll be a good prank.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, so this was so this was a crime where no one got hurt.
36:09
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
36:10
SPEAKER_04: There was a crime.
36:11
SPEAKER_04: That's why I like that.
36:12
SPEAKER_04: It's like a victimless crime almost, you know?
36:13
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
36:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm calling the police on your I kind of like victimless crimes, you know.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: It's like, all right, well, is it making the bigger entities like corporation or something?
36:21
SPEAKER_00: It's like physical.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: Physical injuries.
36:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: People, I mean, so technically, if you think about it, like the hot lottery situation that we just talked about, there are victims in the sense that like or two dollars?
36:35
SPEAKER_04: No, but didn't get away with it.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Think of how many people paid to try to win the lottery.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: And they were defrauded basically out of their money, you know, even if it's two dollars, it doesn't matter.
36:48
SPEAKER_04: Technically, there's only one victim, like whoever was gonna get those numbers.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, you at losing numbers.
36:58
SPEAKER_04: That's not necessarily true.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: There can be multiple winners.
37:02
SPEAKER_04: It could be, but there wasn't.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, right, because he rigged the system in this particular instance.
37:07
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: But he rigged the system.
37:09
SPEAKER_02: I think it's cool.
37:10
SPEAKER_02: It's like kind of robbing a bank or saying, ah, they have insurance, so I'm gonna cover this.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: We'll be okay.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: I do not advocate for any kind of crimes against any kind of persons or entities or corporations.
37:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, not people, but corporations can be fucked.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: I strongly disagree.
37:25
SPEAKER_04: Corporations can get fucked.
37:27
SPEAKER_00: I disagree.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: I love corporations.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: Corporations are they keep us by gods?
37:34
SPEAKER_04: We can agree and disagree on this one.
37:37
SPEAKER_00: Even corporations I disagree with, I think should have the right to not get criminally victimized.
37:42
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, especially Amazon, because you guys ship everything so quickly.
37:45
SPEAKER_04: It's so it's so helpful.
37:48
SPEAKER_04: You're such a big corporation, but I use it all the time.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: I do not advocate for crime ever.
37:53
SPEAKER_02: So only when you want to get away with it and you have a really good plan, and it's 16 million.
37:58
SPEAKER_01: How about never?
38:02
SPEAKER_02: Well, because here's my thing is like you know damn well every single person who bought a lottery ticket, if given the option, like, hey, you you can get the winning ticket to do this.
38:12
SPEAKER_02: They're gonna do it.
38:12
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
38:13
SPEAKER_02: He doesn't want to have it on it.
38:15
SPEAKER_04: It might be one or two people that are gonna know, but they're gonna win, yeah, probably.
38:21
SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
38:23
SPEAKER_04: If you offer me the fucking winning numbers, I'm taking them.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but okay, but going back to so in case you haven't seen our episode, I don't even know if we've posted it, the Monopoly Money episode.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: We talked about I don't remember.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we have, but anyways, they basically uh in that episode is a guy who was able to get all of like the winning tickets before you remember Monopoly?
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, McDonald's Monopoly.
38:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: So he was able to get all the winning tickets and he dispersed them to his friends.
38:50
SPEAKER_02: Love it.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: But then his friends, once they once he got caught, it's not that he turned them in, but the FBI was able to figure it out.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: And that's what happened here too.
38:59
SPEAKER_00: They in Iowa, what they did was they looked at uh Eddie's LinkedIn and Facebook accounts and looked at all of his friends and started doing research on who, if anybody, I know.
39:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, they have all the time, the government has the time and the resources to do it, right?
39:12
SPEAKER_04: So I feel like they got bigger fish to fry, but okay.
39:16
SPEAKER_04: Not in Iowa.
39:19
SPEAKER_03: This is the only crime in Iowa.
39:21
SPEAKER_03: Like, all right, send the throw the whole force at this.
39:25
SPEAKER_04: This is the only thing we got going on.
39:27
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
39:28
SPEAKER_04: If we can find this guy, we can't.
39:29
SPEAKER_04: I'm curious what the most committed crime in Iowa is.
39:32
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna guess something to do with agriculture.
39:34
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what it is, but did you hear about like how like they burn down farms and shit?
39:38
SPEAKER_02: Like the chicken competitions like what competition?
39:41
SPEAKER_02: The chicken like competition?
39:43
SPEAKER_00: Burning down a farm is a competition?
39:44
SPEAKER_02: Well, basically, like to wipe out the competition, like people would burn down other farms.
39:49
SPEAKER_02: Like in those agriculture states.
39:51
SPEAKER_04: Crazy as shit.
39:52
SPEAKER_04: Go ahead.
39:52
SPEAKER_04: Larceny.
39:53
SPEAKER_04: So stealing.
39:54
SPEAKER_04: Larceny makes up 74% of all crimes in Iowa.
39:58
SPEAKER_04: With larceny.
39:59
SPEAKER_04: Stealing, breaking into people's cars, shoplifting.
40:02
SPEAKER_04: Like, is this small?
40:03
SPEAKER_02: Like small stuff?
40:04
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it didn't even say grand larceny.
40:06
SPEAKER_04: It just said.
40:06
SPEAKER_04: Oh, there's grand larceny.
40:09
SPEAKER_04: Larceny is like, I think anything under$250.
40:12
SPEAKER_04: It might vary.
40:12
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:13
SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah, yeah.
40:14
SPEAKER_04: And then grand larceny is anything above that.
40:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
40:17
SPEAKER_04: That that was the numbers in Virginia, at least.
40:19
SPEAKER_04: Damn.
40:19
SPEAKER_04: I don't know if it varies, if it's different here or in Iowa.
40:22
SPEAKER_04: I'm pretty sure it's high everywhere.
40:24
SPEAKER_04: Maybe.
40:25
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know what they say about Iowa.
40:28
SPEAKER_04: What?
40:28
SPEAKER_00: If you build it, they will come.
40:30
SPEAKER_04: Is that where that movie's based at?
40:34
SPEAKER_04: Is that where that movie's based at?
40:36
SPEAKER_04: I don't know that.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: Never saw it.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
40:39
SPEAKER_04: I thought you're just giving this Ryan Cobra bars.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: It is a movie with Kevin Costner.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: It is really good.
40:46
SPEAKER_00: Basically, the concept is he has a dream one day and he's an I he's a corn farmer in Iowa and he has a dream and it's like he has a voice and it's like, if you build it, he will come.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: Who's he?
40:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's he doesn't know.
40:59
SPEAKER_00: And so the whole movie is trying to figure it out, and basically has this like idea to cut down all of his corn uh in his field and create a baseball uh oh baseball field.
41:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, baseball field.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's a baseball and uh and then he has he goes on this like journey and it's it's from it's from the 80s, it's crazy.
41:17
SPEAKER_00: It's like I love the movie, I think it's a great movie.
41:19
SPEAKER_04: I've never seen it.
41:20
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, sounds like I'm familiar with the movie and I've seen clips and like but I've never watched it before.
41:26
SPEAKER_04: It was a sports movie, I just don't know what sports it is.
41:28
SPEAKER_00: It's a baseball movie, it's but it's it's uh beautiful because it's about him and his father, and it's just a it's a great and uh James Earl Jones is in it as well.
41:37
SPEAKER_04: Oh I love that guy.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
41:39
SPEAKER_00: So we were my parents and I were at LAX one time, and James Earl Jones was on the escalator behind us, and my mom turns around, she's like, I don't know your name, but I just love you.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my god, die.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: I know you're from that one movie, but she's like, thank you.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: She was nice.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: Now I know what you're talking about.
42:02
SPEAKER_04: You're a better thing.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: Anyways, well, what do you have for us today, Tony?
42:09
SPEAKER_04: I actually have a recent case, so I'm gonna have to read some of this stuff off because I didn't have a chance to take a deep dive into it.
42:16
SPEAKER_04: But the Argentinian Football Association is under investigation for alleged money laundering up to$300 million.
42:29
SPEAKER_04: Oh hell yeah, it doesn't be laundering.
42:32
SPEAKER_04: Uh it says right now that like the the players themselves haven't been named as targets, but like the organization as a whole.
42:41
SPEAKER_04: Damn.
42:42
SPEAKER_04: Um let me see.
42:45
SPEAKER_00: Sounds pretty messy.
42:51
SPEAKER_05: Uh it says the company manage that's fucking comedy.
43:02
SPEAKER_04: Uh says that the company managed at least$260 million in official revenue through major financial institutions like uh JP Morgan Chase, Citibank, and Bank of America.
43:16
SPEAKER_04: And fuck all three of them, by the way.
43:18
SPEAKER_04: I used one of them.
43:19
SPEAKER_04: Did they throw a red card on the play?
43:21
SPEAKER_04: Maybe.
43:23
SPEAKER_04: They're gonna throw a fucking felony on the play for sure.
43:26
SPEAKER_04: Uh how many PKs is that?
43:29
SPEAKER_04: What tipped them off is uh irregular spending, obviously.
43:33
SPEAKER_04: Rule number one.
43:34
SPEAKER_04: Don't spend.
43:35
SPEAKER_04: Which I mean, I guess does rule number one apply to them since they already have bread like that?
43:41
SPEAKER_04: No.
43:41
SPEAKER_04: Skip that then.
43:42
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
43:43
SPEAKER_04: Like, they're already above everybody else's means at that point.
43:46
SPEAKER_04: I think they're already like irregular spending about it.
43:50
SPEAKER_04: And they're doing it for the love of the game because they got the fucking money.
43:53
SPEAKER_04: They're applying private jets, that's pretty originally.
43:54
SPEAKER_04: They got the bread, bro.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: They're literally doing it for the love of the game.
43:58
SPEAKER_02: See the other thing where I'm like Like fucked up, but it's like man, you gotta appreciate that kind of passion.
44:04
SPEAKER_00: Hustle.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: Hustle.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: Like they don't have any reason to do it, but just to fucking want to do it.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just because they can.
44:12
SPEAKER_04: Um.
44:15
SPEAKER_04: And then uh it says they spent sixteen point five, around sixteen point five million on luxury goods, yachts, private jets, fucking living.
44:27
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
44:28
SPEAKER_04: Alongside unexplained pain.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: Living La Vida Loca?
44:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
44:33
SPEAKER_00: Don't cry for me, Argentina.
44:35
SPEAKER_04: Go to Argentina.
44:37
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
44:38
SPEAKER_04: Y'all gonna need to win the World Cup because this will be your last year, bro.
44:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you guys are done as a country.
44:44
SPEAKER_04: We're cutting you off.
44:45
SPEAKER_04: I don't even know who they're playing.
44:46
SPEAKER_04: They are spy.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: Which is crazy because it's this whole thing is like uh Messi is number nine, or at least he used to be number 19.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: Or something like that, yeah.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then he apparently when he was in Spain, because he trained in Spain, he had like uh some kind of a meet and greet.
45:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
45:03
SPEAKER_00: And he was only like 19 years old, and apparently he was like one of the things he did was like I don't understand it, but it was like bathing a child in a video or something like that.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: Like it was 19 times?
45:13
SPEAKER_00: No, like it was a promotional thing, and that kid that he was bathing is the star player on Spain today.
45:20
SPEAKER_04: Well, you I saw that yesterday.
45:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
45:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't really understand why Messi was bathing a child like as a promotional video.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: Seems kind of weird.
45:27
SPEAKER_00: Why is he promoting?
45:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: I honestly didn't look that creepy.
45:30
SPEAKER_03: Baby cleanliness.
45:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
45:32
SPEAKER_03: Is your baby dirty at home?
45:38
SPEAKER_03: We make sure that your baby's not.
45:43
SPEAKER_03: It's like, oh, okay, nice.
45:48
SPEAKER_03: Babe, we gotta be a baby right now.
45:51
SPEAKER_03: Messi does it.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: So do weird though, huh?
45:55
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
45:56
SPEAKER_04: But the kid becoming the star player, that's pretty fucked.
45:58
SPEAKER_04: Crazy.
45:59
SPEAKER_04: Like, you had to know, like, I was bathed by fucking Messi.
46:03
SPEAKER_04: I got it in me, bro.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's kind of like Kobe Bryant.
46:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, there's pictures of Kobe Bryant.
46:07
SPEAKER_04: Washing kids.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: No.
46:08
SPEAKER_04: Oh, dang it.
46:11
SPEAKER_04: She was an adult, at least, I think.
46:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
46:14
SPEAKER_04: What's the problem?
46:15
SPEAKER_04: It's not even a good idea.
46:16
SPEAKER_00: No, but he was at like some sports event.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: I I think I think it was the Eagles won a Super Bowl or something like that.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: But he's you can see him in the stands.
46:24
SPEAKER_00: It's wild.
46:25
SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's crazy.
46:26
SPEAKER_04: So you're saying like because he was there, he brought that presence.
46:29
SPEAKER_04: But I think it's gonna be there's no way Philadelphia would have won a lot of things.
46:31
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like it's just showing like the like and they were like, oh, he's inspired by greatness.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's like these things like I maybe it wasn't the Eagles, it might have been the Phillies.
46:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember, but he was at some sporting event where it was like he was at the event that the team won, but the whatever the championship was.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I think it's gonna become more prevalent now that we have recording devices everywhere.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the chances of like because there's even one where like uh David Becca met some like star English player when he was a kid, and then it's like that kid has gone on to and like uh Rafael Nadal, he met uh this this guy named Alk.
47:07
SPEAKER_00: Alcar.
47:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know, yeah, he's like one of the best tennis players.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: Tech likes tennis.
47:11
SPEAKER_00: Look at that.
47:12
SPEAKER_04: I love tennis.
47:13
SPEAKER_04: Do you really?
47:14
SPEAKER_04: I really do.
47:14
SPEAKER_00: Do you follow it?
47:16
SPEAKER_04: I used to not so much anymore.
47:18
SPEAKER_04: I have other things to do, but when like Nadal and Federer and uh Djokovic were on top, I was in there.
47:26
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
47:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh what's that what's the American guy's name?
47:29
SPEAKER_02: Andy Samberg?
47:32
SPEAKER_04: That's an actor.
47:32
SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, uh you know what I'm talking about though, right?
47:35
SPEAKER_02: He's like a really good actor.
47:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh I there's there's TFO, I know TFO, and then there's uh uh Blake.
47:43
SPEAKER_02: Turfin?
47:44
SPEAKER_00: No Blake, oh god, he's dating Trinity Rodman.
47:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's a good he's current player.
47:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's a current player.
47:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:53
SPEAKER_02: I I'm not up to date with tennis.
47:55
SPEAKER_02: I actually don't even follow it.
47:56
SPEAKER_02: I just know Alcaraz.
47:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, so Alcaraz went to Nadal's training camp and then there's a picture of them together.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: So I mean, yeah, like you said, it's more prevalent now.
48:04
SPEAKER_02: Like these fucking motherfuckers are meeting like millions of kids just like interviewing or taking pictures with them.
48:10
SPEAKER_04: So one of them is gonna be bathing them, I guess.
48:12
SPEAKER_05: So that's a lot of baths.
48:16
SPEAKER_04: At that point, it's like uh irregular spending, that's irregular bathing.
48:22
SPEAKER_04: We gotta look into this shit.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: So hot take.
48:24
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know this about Brett, my husband.
48:26
SPEAKER_00: He actually played tennis in college.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: So he's he was a tennis player in I can see that.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, D1 college.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: No shit.
48:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
48:33
SPEAKER_02: He's got that build.
48:34
SPEAKER_02: So I was like, wait, why what's so hot about this thing?
48:36
SPEAKER_02: I can imagine this.
48:37
SPEAKER_02: And D1, like, oh okay.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I'm just saying, like, because he's doing that, he's not like all he goes, go play tennis.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: No, no, he's just but he he's all about it.
48:44
SPEAKER_00: So it's tennis always on TV, always and golf, tennis and golf, tennis and golf.
48:49
SPEAKER_00: So speaking of golf, I don't know if you saw the crime that was potentially committed yesterday.
48:54
SPEAKER_00: So Bryson Deschambeau, he's I guess like in it to win it today.
48:59
SPEAKER_00: There's a big big golf tournament today.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: And um yesterday, I guess he was they they claim he was like stomping on tall grass to give himself like a better advantage to get his ball out of the grass, and then he's like, I didn't do it, I'm gonna pull out of the tournament.
49:14
SPEAKER_00: But he like he's in second place right now, so hit it into the grass.
49:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
49:19
SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
49:21
SPEAKER_04: You're a fucking professional dog.
49:25
SPEAKER_02: I know, right?
49:26
SPEAKER_00: The whole field is grass.
49:27
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: It was tall grass, though.
49:31
SPEAKER_00: So I mean you you can't I mean you can only do what you can do, you know what I mean?
49:34
SPEAKER_00: The wind happens, all of it.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: Anyways, so you were saying Argentina.
49:39
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, they're facing uh international charges.
49:43
SPEAKER_04: Alright.
49:44
SPEAKER_04: But who wait, who would like in this case who's a prosecuting like party, like the world?
49:50
SPEAKER_04: Uh well right now they're having uh right now it's Argentina and the US because of where their sponsors come from.
50:02
SPEAKER_04: Because where the money is coming from, so they have a lot of American sponsors, and obviously they have a lot of uh Argentinian sponsors as well.
50:09
SPEAKER_04: Damn.
50:10
SPEAKER_04: Um but right now I believe America has jurisdiction.
50:14
SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah, let's fucking get it, America.
50:17
SPEAKER_04: Oh, you want to be this in the World Cup?
50:19
SPEAKER_04: Alright.
50:19
SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah, that's 70 years later.
50:24
SPEAKER_04: We're the world champions and everything.
50:26
SPEAKER_04: How dare you?
50:27
SPEAKER_04: Not soccer.
50:28
SPEAKER_04: Not soccer, but white-collar crimes is our thing.
50:32
SPEAKER_04: That's our sport.
50:36
SPEAKER_03: Fucking mercy, brother.
50:39
SPEAKER_03: You're professional embezzlers.
50:42
SPEAKER_04: Amongst those.
50:43
SPEAKER_03: Who do you think made up the dumbass word?
50:46
SPEAKER_04: Embezzlement.
50:47
SPEAKER_04: It sounds like something you do like in preschool.
50:49
SPEAKER_04: Art craft.
50:50
SPEAKER_03: Arts and crafts.
50:52
SPEAKER_03: Dad, we embezzled my jeans this morning.
50:55
SPEAKER_00: I feel like it sounds like arts and crafts.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: Like I bedazzled.
51:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh man.
51:01
SPEAKER_00: Real quick going back to DeChambeau, it's the open championship, and he is being accused of inadvertently improving the area of his intended swing.
51:11
SPEAKER_02: Love it.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: So like when he was walking to find his ball, he was stomping to try to make it like more of a flat.
51:18
SPEAKER_04: I feel like if anything, he's doing the next person a favor.
51:21
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like if anything, he's learning from the World Cup because you know, you basically touch somebody and they foul, right?
51:28
SPEAKER_00: So it's like he's he's basically kind of incorporating it into golf.
51:32
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
51:32
SPEAKER_00: He's like, this is my version.
51:33
SPEAKER_04: So he's flopping in golf, which is crazy.
51:35
SPEAKER_04: That's why I like women's soccer.
51:37
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
51:38
SPEAKER_04: Because they're they dude, they go way harder than the men.
51:41
SPEAKER_04: Really?
51:41
SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
51:42
SPEAKER_04: If I could count how many times I've seen women fist fighting in soccer versus men, dude, it's it's a landslide, bro.
51:51
SPEAKER_00: Speaking of that, have you been watching WNBA?
51:53
SPEAKER_04: Do they fight there on Thursday?
51:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
51:55
SPEAKER_00: It is like WWE, dude.
51:57
SPEAKER_04: No way.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm not kidding you.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: This chick named Sophie Cunningham is.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love her.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: She's throwing haymakers at people, dude.
52:04
SPEAKER_00: It is crazy.
52:05
SPEAKER_04: Dude, I've seen her legit grab somebody by the throat.
52:08
unknown: Yeah.
52:09
SPEAKER_03: Holy shit, Sophie coming in with the choke slam.
52:11
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, they were fucking, they were kicking her fucking teammates.
52:14
SPEAKER_04: What's the girl's name?
52:14
SPEAKER_04: Uh Clark.
52:15
SPEAKER_04: Really?
52:16
SPEAKER_04: Clark?
52:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
52:17
SPEAKER_04: They were fucking basically kicking her ass, dude.
52:19
SPEAKER_04: Sophie had a little bit of a couple.
52:20
SPEAKER_04: They did a chokehold on it.
52:21
SPEAKER_00: So getting up.
52:22
SPEAKER_00: And so Sophie's like, no.
52:23
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
52:25
SPEAKER_04: So like she fucking the chick who was fucking her up went up for a layup and Sophie fucking laid her the fuck out.
52:31
SPEAKER_04: And like the whole team got in her face, and she grabbed one of them bitches by the throat and was like, dude, I will fuck you up.
52:38
SPEAKER_04: That's scary.
52:39
SPEAKER_00: She went Missouri on them.
52:40
SPEAKER_00: She's from Missouri.
52:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she's yeah, she's a fucking beast.
52:43
SPEAKER_00: She's like 6'1.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: And she's very attractive.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: She's so bad.
52:48
SPEAKER_02: That'd be scary to get a track girl beat you.
52:50
SPEAKER_02: I think so.
52:51
SPEAKER_02: Let me pull up a picture.
52:52
SPEAKER_02: She's kind of like an all-American girl, right?
52:54
SPEAKER_02: Blonde.
52:55
SPEAKER_00: She was she was just a uh octagon girl at the UFC fight, I think, two weekends.
53:00
SPEAKER_00: For fun?
53:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: I guess she was at the match and then she's like, I want to be a ranked girl, and Dana's like, got it.
53:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
53:10
SPEAKER_04: I don't even really like white girls.
53:11
SPEAKER_04: I'd smash.
53:15
SPEAKER_04: I use I exercise my right to not answer this.
53:18
SPEAKER_04: Plead the fan.
53:18
SPEAKER_04: For the record.
53:20
SPEAKER_04: My lawyers would advise against me answering this.
53:26
SPEAKER_00: And as the only white girl present, um, I take offense, but anyway.
53:32
SPEAKER_03: You heard it, babe.
53:33
SPEAKER_03: She takes offense, not me.
53:38
SPEAKER_04: My girlfriend doesn't say this.
53:39
SPEAKER_03: Still didn't have a said anything.
53:41
SPEAKER_04: I had a public uh defender.
53:42
SPEAKER_04: I wasn't advised not to say anything.
53:46
SPEAKER_04: A public offender, I don't do anything here.
53:48
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we've been locked up in here.
53:53
SPEAKER_04: I don't like the word offender.
53:55
SPEAKER_04: I know, but get away from me.
53:56
SPEAKER_04: That's what they called us.
53:57
SPEAKER_04: You know how like you see on TV they say like inmate, prisoner.
54:01
SPEAKER_04: Fuck no, we were offender.
54:03
SPEAKER_04: I did not like that at all.
54:05
SPEAKER_04: I'd rather be inmate or prisoner dog.
54:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying though, if we had like names in the comedy world and you had to pick a name like The Undertaker or something like that, I don't know.
54:16
SPEAKER_00: I think Tonio the Offender.
54:18
SPEAKER_04: Honestly, that would go hard.
54:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
54:20
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
54:20
SPEAKER_04: That would go hard as well on the nose.
54:22
SPEAKER_04: I would make it be more offensive with my jokes.
54:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
54:25
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
54:25
SPEAKER_04: Or even opposite and don't be offensive.
54:27
SPEAKER_04: I oh trick them.
54:28
SPEAKER_04: Like naming my snake Fuzzy.
54:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
54:31
SPEAKER_03: That's actually really good.
54:32
SPEAKER_04: I used to have a ball python named Fuzzy.
54:35
SPEAKER_04: I was thinking like if I get a pet, I would name it Peev.
54:38
SPEAKER_04: My cat's name is Peeves Bees.
54:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's funny.
54:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I like that.
54:42
SPEAKER_04: That's a good idea.
54:43
SPEAKER_04: I hope no one takes it.
54:44
SPEAKER_04: That's what would really break my heart.
54:46
SPEAKER_04: I love that.
54:47
SPEAKER_04: My cat's name is Beanie F.
54:48
SPEAKER_04: Wheenies.
54:49
SPEAKER_04: That's too long.
54:50
SPEAKER_04: And the F is for ferocious.
54:52
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
54:52
SPEAKER_04: It's like a little Wayne reference.
54:54
SPEAKER_04: I call her Beans for short.
54:55
SPEAKER_04: Beans.
54:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
54:56
SPEAKER_04: That's so funny.
54:58
SPEAKER_04: That's like such a common cat name.
54:59
SPEAKER_04: She's like black and brown, so I was like, Beans is good.
55:02
SPEAKER_00: I think we're kind of reaching towards the end of the episode here.
55:04
SPEAKER_00: So do you want to tell us what you've got coming up?
55:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh next week.
55:09
SPEAKER_02: I know when it comes out, but come see me at uh Road Dogs next month in August.
55:15
SPEAKER_02: Love it.
55:15
SPEAKER_02: What day?
55:16
SPEAKER_02: Wednesday?
55:17
SPEAKER_02: The 26th?
55:18
SPEAKER_00: I might be there.
55:20
SPEAKER_00: I think we're doing Road Dogs.
55:21
SPEAKER_04: I think it's the 27th, yeah.
55:23
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
55:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because I'm booked there too.
55:25
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
55:26
SPEAKER_04: No.
55:26
SPEAKER_04: No, I think I'm booked on Well, it's okay.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: He'll put it on the he'll put it right here.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: Right here.
55:35
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be right here.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do that.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: Well thank you for being our return guest.
55:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
55:43
SPEAKER_00: Our first return guest.
55:44
SPEAKER_02: Can I add it to my resume?
55:46
SPEAKER_00: It's our first returned, unofficial returned guest because you never got to see the first time, but it was trash.
55:52
SPEAKER_04: We'll drop it.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:54
SPEAKER_00: Thanks guys for watching and listening.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: Please make sure to like and subscribe and leave a comment if you have a crime that you want us to cover.
56:02
SPEAKER_00: Love to hear from you.
56:03
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
56:04
SPEAKER_01: Peace.