Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Coma Matchmaker

Transcript

Phone Tap: Coma Matchmaker · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today, we call a guy Jeff.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: You guys want more information?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, said that. I've been trying to kick you guys
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: out for years. I'm still here. Well, if you're interested.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: He signed up for a matchmaking service, so hasn't had
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of luck on the dating apps bumble hinge
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: et cetera.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Not produce the desired results.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: So he decided a few months ago to hire a matchmaker,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: and that actually hasn't gone very well either until now,
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: because we're about to tell him the good news. Well
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: kind of in your phone tab right now?
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Another Hello?
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Hello? Is this allan?
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's going.
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: I'm calling from Love Matchmakers. My name is Cody, Cody Pendant.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, you've been working.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: With Angela as your matchmaking consultant, right, but I'm her assistant.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: She's out of town right now, in a silent retreat.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: I think she mentioned that.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: No she didn't.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, she is enjoying herself. If you're wondering, you
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: got to see her tan, which she gets back. I
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: just got some pictures. Anyways, I'm calling because I have
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: been authorized to give you good news.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's great.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to say this, but I think
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: we did it we found the one.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: What are you joking?
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: No, No, she's professional, she's beautiful, she meets.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: All the criteria. You're gonna be so impressed.
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean I've been waiting and paying, so I'm
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: ready to let's go.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: Sure have and it all paid off because congratulations, you're
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: in a relationship.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Alan, you have a girlfriend?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Yay?
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: Well, all right, I guess you found it match. We
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: clearly haven't met. I don't know if we're in a
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: relationship yet.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: No, silly you are. I took care of everything.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: I have all the paperwork at her bedside, so it's
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: a done deal.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: You two are a couple, okay? And she toats knows.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Who is this person?
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Well, her name is Barbara. And let's just say you're lucky.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: I'm on the job because I did some creative thinking
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: and I went back to our old roster, and wouldn't
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: you know, there's one woman, single and available and in
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: the hospital right now temporarily.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: What Barbara, did you say in the hospital?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It just a little snaffoo. But you heard me when
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I just said temporarily, right, what.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Are you talking about? What does that mean?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Technically she's been in a coma for just a few years.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: You've got to be kiting me.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: But signs look good.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: I saw the monitor and it was beeping and jumping
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: and skipping, and you just got great energy.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: I don't understand what this means you you've matched me
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: with someone unconscious in the hospital.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: What do you do well?
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: You could say that, or you could focus on the
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: word match as I found you.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Someone Angela never would have okayed this. Why are you
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: in charge?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm not really understanding what the problem is here, because,
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: like I'm doing my job.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: No, if you have a girlfriend, I.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: This is the weirdest you look. I've been with you
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: people for months. I've been paying you a fair amount
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: of money.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: You found me nobody, and now I'm getting a call
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: from some rando I've never even met, telling me that.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: You found me a coma pitient. Literally, what the are
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: you talking about?
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: Okay, it sounds like you're frustrated, and that's on me.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: I maybe I did not tell you enough about her.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: She does have a lot of hobbies. She loves sleeping,
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: and she loves like milkshakes and liquid meals.
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: That struck you as a good match for me, Sleepy
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: milkshake lady, you know.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: What if she had a dating profile that would be
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: kind of a catchy name.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: You're smart. We should work together.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: I don't so what am I supposed to call this lady?
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: What do you want from me? Well?
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I could give you her number, but she's not gonna
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: pick up occupied me.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: But what I did is I went ahead and got
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: a greeting card. I already filled it out in your name.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: So when she wakes up, no, I may no.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: And the fact that she is an older lady at
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: seventy two years old, oh my goodness, what.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: She's gonna appreciate it even more. How thoughtful you were two?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: She sure is.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: And once her grandkids leave the room, you two can
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: have your first day.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Why aren't you excited to be at grandpa?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: Papa, Okay, I am papa.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Not only that, I will be demanding all the money back.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: You idiots have done nothing for me. You've strung me
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: along for months and months, and now you set me
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: up with an unconscious senior citizen and you think that's
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: my best match.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Excuse me, after all the trouble I went through helping
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: your friend Matt to frank you, and this is what
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: I get?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: What I should be the one upset because this.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: Is actually Joisey from Brick and Jeffrey in the Morning,
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: and I'm very mad at you right now. Whoa oh
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: all right, wait a second, bro, I told you it's
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: a prank, like.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: This is all for fun.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I yeah, that's great, thank you.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It's cool. You can laugh now. It's just a radio thing.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Woo radio thing. All right, Well, good for that, and
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: good for you that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Well, it's supposed to be good for you.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: And Barbara.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: Oh dud, we haven't talking about Barbara. Huh you silver Savage.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: I see you over there, old Barbara.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: I will tell you I am a week away from
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: taking that date.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Bro, No, you leave Barbara alone. She is a sweet lady. Okay,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: weake up.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: Every morning was fun tabs weekday mornings on the twenties
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning