Latest / Your Enriched Self / 106. G.O.A.L.
Transcript
- 0:00I have really enjoyed how people have tuned in to their self care lives and
- 0:07have gone on these self care journeys in public, meaning putting it on social
- 0:13media. And I had a chance to watch a friend of mine go on
- 0:16that journey recently and she did it on social media, and I thought it
- 0:20was really beautiful. Here's what I'm gonna say. It was a messy journey.
- 0:25Oftentimes when you think about self care, you think about healing and new
- 0:28experiences, etc. But along her journey, she talked about some of the
- 0:34ugly things that had come up, some of the things that she had repressed,
- 0:38and towards the end she said something that was really compelling about how she
- 0:44thought at one point that on this self care journey that she would you learn
- 0:50something new, like I said, or lose weight, or find a new
- 0:54care style. And in the end, it was the most simple learning lesson
- 1:00and that was self love in all of this self care expression. On this
- 1:07self care journey for almost sixty days, her final takeaway was I'm in love
- 1:15with myself. I love myself, and it was so heartfelt. I could
- 1:23see her on that screen being transparent. What I loved about the journey Oftentimes
- 1:32the thing you thought you set out to accomplish, you come away with more
- 1:38self awareness and a big picture of you into your life. And it's often
- 1:46hard to do that when you're living your life. But when you spend time
- 1:52on purpose taking a deeper look into your life, I think you'll be surprised
- 1:57about what you learn about your life, most importantly about yourself. Hello,
- 2:21my friends from all across the globe, and welcome to the Urinrichself Podcast.
- 2:24I am your host, Miley Noir. I am a mindset coach and your
- 2:30mindset advocate. All that means is I want to ensure that each and every
- 2:34week you have a safe space, a place at the table so that you
- 2:39can do the things you can to become more of your and enriched self.
- 2:44So I curated this space and I invite you each week so that we can
- 2:49walk through these mindset fusion topics on self care, soul care, and intentional
- 2:55thinking. Because I know you if you're listening to this podcast, you want
- 3:00to show up as the best version of yourself, and that's the work we
- 3:04do here each and every week. So if you are new to the podcast,
- 3:07I want to welcome you and I want to thank you for being here.
- 3:10I know that you are brought here on purpose for a purpose, and
- 3:16if you are a repeat listener, I am so excited that you have continued
- 3:22on this journey. I want to thank you for your continued support, feedback,
- 3:27and being a participant in this journey called Your in rich Self. And
- 3:34before we get into this week's episode, I make a deposit into the bank
- 3:40of you, and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a
- 3:49great way to start your day and to command your morning. And this week's
- 3:55affirmation is I am always open to new ideas. I am always open to
- 4:05new ideas. I am always open to new ideas. Now let's get ready
- 4:17for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. Years ago, I
- 4:30was an area manager, and so that meant I had approximately seven stores retail
- 4:39stores for a fortune five hundred company, and I was responsible for all the
- 4:46sales in that area. Prior to becoming an area manager, I was a
- 4:50store manager and assistant manager. All that meant was I was managing goals each
- 4:56and every day, week, month, and obviously quarterly, yearly. All
- 5:00of the things, I was constantly managing goals, not just my own right,
- 5:05but collectively what my team would perform and how they would perform, and
- 5:11how we could get them to perform at the levels and the expectations that were
- 5:15put out there in the process of goal setting. It's very messy. Yes,
- 5:21indeed, it is a very messy process to get from what the goal
- 5:27setting processes to the destination or the expectation for the goal. And so today
- 5:32I want to talk about that because I'm kind of reliving that and recently had
- 5:39a conversation with a friend and it made me think about how we set goals,
- 5:46and I think a lot of us, I include myself, because up
- 5:49until recently I had to challenge the popular thinking around goal setting, and I
- 5:59want to check challenge your popular thinking about goal setting because for a long time,
- 6:03it was smart goals. If you remember this smart it's whole acronym measurable,
- 6:11attainable, relevant, sometimes realistic, and time bound. Do you remember
- 6:16that those were the attributes of smart goals? And that's how I helped my
- 6:26team, and quite frankly, I used that formula to help myself create goals
- 6:32that I could you work towards to get to that destination expectation at the end
- 6:39of the month. So today I want to talk about that because I think
- 6:42that's really interesting. On top of that, I had a conversation with a
- 6:46friend recently and what I learned and it reminded me kind of took me back
- 6:51to this time, is that this process, yes messy, but also intimidate,
- 7:00and most of the time people like to lay on top of the surface
- 7:04of the goal. There's not a lot of interest to go underneath a layer
- 7:11or two or three and doing that. There is some self work that has
- 7:15to be done. There are self assessment pieces that were not part of this
- 7:21smart goal process. It was really getting to those measurable results, finding like
- 7:28the final destination, the numbers, and driving, driving, driving to it.
- 7:33There wasn't a whole lot of understanding who are you on that journey to
- 7:39achieve that goal because there's got to be a connection between the goal and yourself.
- 7:45It can't be something you're running towards. It has to be something that's
- 7:47in you that you're producing along the way, and smart goals don't really allow
- 7:54you to do that. I'm not telling you smart goals are bad. I'm
- 7:57just saying think about it like this, smart goals, this methodology was created
- 8:03back in the eighties, the early eighties. It's antiquated processing, it's antiquated
- 8:09thinking, and we need to start challenging some of these popular thinking methods that
- 8:16have just lived on and on and on. We live in a new world,
- 8:20a new society. What's important right now is the understanding of self because
- 8:28we lived in a world, we were taught in a world that put us
- 8:31in this cookie cutter environment when we are very different individuals. So what I
- 8:39like about this method, which is a method I created, by the way,
- 8:43is that it allows you to go a little bit deeper under the surface,
- 8:48not just to get to the destination, but understand who is going and
- 8:54that person will obviously be you, but understand more about you on the journey
- 9:01to reach the destination, the expectation. So let's get into it. Let's
- 9:05get right on into it. If I were to go back to my sales
- 9:11teams, my sales managers, the leaders, the coaches for these agents,
- 9:16these experts, these consultants, this is how I would do it. I
- 9:22would go in with goal. What is the goal? And it stands for
- 9:26grow, open minded, actionable, and learn. And let's break it down
- 9:33and go a step underneath the surface. When we think about grow, I
- 9:39want you to think about what do you need to improve? What do you
- 9:43need to enhance, expand develop. That's your growth formula. But in order
- 9:52to get there, let's go back a step to understand what are your beliefs?
- 9:58Your belief system, wherever it is right now, has led you to
- 10:03the place that you are today. Your belief system, yes, so did
- 10:09mine. I'm not exempt from this. Your belief system has led you to
- 10:16the place that you are today. Now for some of us, that might
- 10:22be a little scary because I'm like, I don't want to be here.
- 10:24But let's go another step deeper. What are your patterns? How do you
- 10:31think about things? For example, you have a new month. Do you
- 10:35feel intimidated by that month? Do you feel like you're not going to be
- 10:41able to get things done? What type of thinking patterns do you have that
- 10:48have allowed you to create this belief system in which you are now living out
- 10:54loud. Now you are living in real life, in real time your belief
- 10:58system. So you've got to identify the patterns, and in order to do
- 11:03that, we're going another level deeper. Let's start at the beginning. Your
- 11:07beliefs. This is Listen, we're on a mindset journey here. We talk
- 11:11about these topics because we don't talk about thinking. We talk about doing.
- 11:16Let's go do this, let's go do that. And although that's important,
- 11:20you need to think through this a little bit. Your belief systems. You've
- 11:24cultivated it and now you've developed it. You now understand that you have some
- 11:30patterns about your thinking that have brought you to this point. So what you
- 11:35need to do is do a little self assessment. This is where you go
- 11:39one more step deeper. And this is where smart Goals did not go.
- 11:43They did a lot of external questioning, but not a lot of internal.
- 11:48So here's the internal question for growth. What am I good at? That's
- 11:54an important question because I'm a believer that you can start where you are with
- 12:03what you have, and in order to have that belief system and to live
- 12:11that out, you need to understand first and tap into what you're good at,
- 12:16because you can work with that. You can begin a thing with that
- 12:18thing, your thing, the thing you're good at. The other great question
- 12:24you can ask yourself here is what is the most important thing in my life?
- 12:30What's important to me? Why are these things important to me, because
- 12:35understanding those things will set your GPS coordinates. And all I mean by that
- 12:43is this, if I am on my way to a new destination, what
- 12:48I'll do is I'll put in my GPS and you know, the navigation and
- 12:54maps on my phone. I will put in the address, just like everybody
- 12:56else does. But then what I do is I double click in. I
- 13:01go one layer deeper, and I look at this turn by turn directions because
- 13:07mentally, that's going to give me an idea. Okay, this thing is
- 13:09twenty minutes, thirty minutes, an hour away, I'm going to be on
- 13:13this stretch of road for this long. I'm gonna make a turn when I
- 13:16get off the highway. So now I have an idea of potentially what's ahead
- 13:22and where I need to go and how I need to prep and prepare myself.
- 13:28That's what I mean by going that step deeper and the importance of doing
- 13:37that double click into the steps. So I don't know about you, but
- 13:41that's how I do it. It's very helpful to me, and it gives
- 13:45me a bit of a structure. And I want to encourage you to take
- 13:50a moment and do the self assessment because I know we want to go do
- 13:56but I got to think about what it is you've been thinking about and start
- 14:01to challenge, start to challenge your thinking. It starts with your thinking.
- 14:11The other piece is open minded and open minded is it's time to consider a
- 14:18new idea. Obviously, you had your belief systems, you've developed your ways,
- 14:24you've lived that life. But in order to get to the new destination,
- 14:30you're gonna have to challenge how you have been thinking. You need to
- 14:35be aware of your biases. There might be a bias or two about how
- 14:41you've been thinking about things. So you've got to open your mind now when
- 14:46you do the open minded part of things. On this journey to get to
- 14:52your destination, meet your expectation, you're gonna have to ask yourself questions and
- 15:00become a better listener. You're gonna have to ask yourself questions like who do
- 15:07I need to get around? What rooms do I need to be at?
- 15:13What rooms do I need to be in? What conversations do I need to
- 15:18be a part of? Because if you're part of new conversations, you're gaining
- 15:24new perspective. If you're part of new conversations, you're in a room with
- 15:28new opinions, new ideas, and possibly new recommendations and suggestions. You're not
- 15:35going to get that just being around yourself. So being open minded is going
- 15:39to require you to step out of your comfort zone and challenge your thinking,
- 15:46because the reason why you're thinking the way you've been thinking is because you're in
- 15:50your own zone. You're gonna have to get out of your zone, go
- 15:52meet some people, get into some spaces that you typically don't occupy, so
- 15:58that you can open your mind and get to the next level. And I
- 16:03know right now it doesn't feel like the smart goes. It doesn't feel like
- 16:07it's measurable, but I promise you you're picking up the pieces of who you
- 16:12are so that you can go to the next step, which is to take
- 16:15action. Now that you have learned, Now that you have now that you
- 16:22have obtained some new insights, and you've met some new people, you've probably
- 16:27challenged some things or been challenged by some things, or some converse in some
- 16:33conversation. It's time to take action, to be actionable. You're able to
- 16:41do something, You're able to get something done. Now in this step,
- 16:45what you want to do is ask yourself what can I do in this next
- 16:51moment. It could be a moment you might be at a crossroads. You
- 16:56learn something, go apply it, Go apply what you just learned, whether
- 17:00it's a conversation piece, whether it's a technique, Go apply the thing now
- 17:07and see try it on, see how it fits. It's just like a
- 17:14dressing room. You try it on, you see how it fits. If
- 17:17it doesn't fit right, you go find a right fit. And so this
- 17:19is what happens in the actionable step. Again, people want to hear that
- 17:23I got to the destination. I did it, I took an action step.
- 17:26That's not quite how it works. You still have to try it on
- 17:30to make sure it makes sense, to make sure it fits you. Again,
- 17:34what fits you is not going to fit me, and vice versa,
- 17:38and there's nothing wrong with that. Knowing thyself, so understanding what do I
- 17:44need to do in this next moment? What can I go apply now?
- 17:47What do I need to do the next day? Right? What do I
- 17:52need to go do the next week, the next month, and so in
- 17:56the next sixty, the next ninety days. What do I need to do?
- 18:00What do I need to get done? What phone calls do I need
- 18:04to make? What people do I need to reach out to. That's the
- 18:10type of actionable steps that you're going to have to take. This step requires
- 18:15effort. Where the other step or the step before required you to challenge,
- 18:21and the step before that required you to think about what you're thinking about and
- 18:25go into your belief patterns. This step requires you to take efforts. It's
- 18:32going to be small, medium, and large effort, it doesn't matter.
- 18:37But taking and making effort towards this is going to be critical for you to
- 18:44get to your destination and meet your expectation. Now, the last piece of
- 18:48all of this is to learn. Now, learning means that they were probably
- 19:00likely mistakes made, and you are willing to learn from those mistakes. Learning
- 19:08also means that you've gained knowledge In all of what you've just done, You've
- 19:15gained knowledge, so you are a better person, you are more enriched as
- 19:22a result of doing all of those things. But now saying you know what,
- 19:26here's what I have learned. This step is the model for reflection.
- 19:37This models the importance of reflection. Now you're doing reflection all throughout. But
- 19:42at the end of all of this, what did I learn when while I
- 19:48was pursuing this goal, and in some cases, before you even get started,
- 19:53you can say what do I need to learn? What do I need
- 19:59to learn? While pursuing this, sometimes we just stumble upon things or we
- 20:04make a mistake and learn something. Nothing wrong with that, but it might
- 20:07be helpful to go in with what do I need to learn? There might
- 20:12be a knowledge gap that you have because of again the surroundings you've been or
- 20:19the people you've been around, or the people you've not been around, or
- 20:23the information you've learned or not learned. Whatever it is, it's an opportunity
- 20:30to get new insight and new information by going through the process. This environment
- 20:40puts you in a place where you have a growth mindset because now you understand
- 20:48and you believe that you have the capacity to learn and grow your skills.
- 20:57You also are focused on getting better and you are more likely when you're doing
- 21:07things this way to embrace challenges because listen, no matter what type of goal
- 21:12you have ahead of you, there will be challenges. So now you're more
- 21:18likely to embrace those and you see your mistakes as an opportunity to learn and
- 21:25improve. This is the methodology I want you to begin to adopt. I'm
- 21:34going to leave those questions in the show notes because it's very important to take
- 21:41that next level step and start to double click to see where you are on
- 21:48this growth journey, this growth exercise, and this goal exercise to get to
- 21:55your goal. So I want you to adopt this blueprint for goal. I
- 22:00want you to get familiar with it again. I'm gonna leave details in the
- 22:03show notes before I leave. I want to leave you with this quote by
- 22:10Henry David Threw. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
- 22:18as what you become by achieving your goals. I hope you enjoyed this week's
- 22:30episode of the Urine Ritzub podcast. And the only way I'm gonna know this
- 22:34is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift, it is
- 22:38free to give and I would love to hear from you. And here's how
- 22:42you leave feedback In the very app that you listen to this podcast. I
- 22:48want you to follow the stars and leave a five star rating. That's it.
- 22:52That's as easy as it is. But on all seriousness, I really
- 22:56want to know what resonated with you with this week's episode. I want to
- 23:00make sure that you are also sharing this episode with your friends and family.
- 23:06So right from the app in which you listen to this podcast, hit the
- 23:08share button and share this to the last three to five people that you connected
- 23:14with, the last three to five people that you shared your goals with as
- 23:18well. Okay, you can also connect with me on the socials I am
- 23:25in pretty much all of them. Instagram is my jam, It's where I
- 23:27am. You can find me at mine rich self that's M Y E N
- 23:33R I C h E D S E l F. Definitely connect with me
- 23:38there hashtag share the podcast so that people can see what you're listening to and
- 23:47where and how you are growing and getting at these goals because we're going to
- 23:52make things happen before the year ends. Now, as I mentioned before,
- 23:57you can find all the goodies in the show notes, including the quote of
- 24:03the week. I will also leave those self assessment questions along with the goals
- 24:11so that you can start to do some of that on your own as well,
- 24:15because I think there's no time like the present to be present. Also,
- 24:22don't forget that you can check out my Show Up Everyday notebook, which
- 24:29is a great way to track and write down those goals and show Up Everyday
- 24:33journal in which I have a lot of self assessing questions for you to capture
- 24:38your daily thoughts, because it's important to know what you're thinking and be willing
- 24:44to identify those patterns and challenge your own thinking. And finally, I want
- 24:52you to take what you can from this episode and do what you must in
- 24:57the next one one hundred and sixty eight hours to become more of your enriched
- 25:06self until we meet again.