Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / Episode 60: Feeling Like a Failure? Here’s How to Break Free

Transcript

Episode 60: Feeling Like a Failure? Here’s How to Break Free · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge. All we have to do is find out who has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker, and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. This is a very special episode today because this is a brand new location.
• 0:38
  Now, unfortunately, you can't see this location, but, this is my new special place. Previously, your episodes have been delivered to you in the car or by my canal. It was a sad day because the ducks are no longer there, but they are in my heart because I am not there anymore. I have moved. And do you know what?
• 0:57
  This is my first episode I've done in probably about two weeks now. I've been slacking. I say slacking. I've moved house. I had a six week next level coach course.
• 1:10
  I set up a bus starting setting up a new business with a guy at three c a, training people to become personal trainers. So I think I've got a little bit of an excuse, but I really forgot how much no. Forget, how much I love love doing these podcast episodes. And honestly, I desperately wish you could see where I am right now. It is unbelievable.
• 1:32
  The back of where we live, we live in a little town now called Chesholm, but we got a little cute cottage. You know, it's really happy. But at the back, we've just got these endless fields. And right now, I'm staring at the sunset, getting my light exposure, not for that reason. And honestly, this view is incredible.
• 1:57
  And I must say, it really does feel quite special coming here. And I guess that that's the first thing that I wanna kinda share with you is make sure you spend some time that you can carve it out to get out of your box. Out of your box. Whether that box is your car, whether that box is your house, your office, the gym. Get out of the box and get into the world somewhere like this.
• 2:23
  It costs nothing and it's absolutely stunning. I can see birds flying around. It is a perfect sunset. It's cold. It's probably about four or five degrees, but I got my snood on.
• 2:36
  And we're right by Heathrow Airport as well, so I can see planes. And, yeah, it's pretty incredible. So, yeah, I think what do I wanna talk to you about today? What is going to be helpful for you? You know, it's interesting.
• 2:58
  It's quite funny. We've had this little joke in in my elite coach in my elite coach program for quite some time. Joke about me. Yes. I am the victim of this horrible, cruel joke.
• 3:11
  And the the joke is the Callum Walker question mark. The Callum Walker question mark. Like, what are you to me? What are you? Are you a nutritionist?
• 3:22
  Do you help me grow my business? You're a performance coach? Like, what are you? You see yeah. So it's been quite funny recently.
• 3:32
  But do you know the thing I would say? My dad said this. He said, do know what you do? And you've really helped me with this and all of your guys is you're just someone who can help me keep going. Just help people keep going.
• 3:47
  I think that's actually quite beautiful and the ultimate compliment because I think first of all, when it comes to being a coach, I learned this from good friend, Phil Brady. He was a guest on the podcast actually. And he said that, you know, when people when coaches put their social proof up on social media about the client's results, etcetera, that they they take it as almost like it's their win and their success. Look at what I did. But the role of a coach isn't to get someone the result.
• 4:20
  The I kinda feel that the role of the of the coach is to help that person realize the potential that they had all along and really allow themselves to get to the place where they can get the result themselves. So where my dad, he would go a lot of daddy issues we've had to dig up over the years with my multiple therapists. You know, when my dad says to me, you know, you just help people keep going. That is the ultimate compliment. And and I think I wanna kinda share with you what what helps me keep going because I'll be completely real with you.
• 5:00
  There has been some real challenging times running a business. Seriously challenging. You know, I've had so many times where I have relentlessly doubted myself, where I have felt that financial anxiety. I felt like the ultimate failure that no matter how much work I've put into this whole thing that just it's just not working. And that that feeling is well, I can almost kinda feel it bringing me to tears to be honest because I can remember the times and it and it still happens now where there's just this overwhelming feeling of like, oh, you know, I'm just putting so much energy, time, sacrifice, and emotion into this this thing and it's just not working.
• 5:55
  And and it can be really really crippling. It can be really really debilitating. And and I think really like I'd love to kind of share with you exactly what has really kind of allowed me to keep going throughout this time because, you know, if you kind of look at this whole process and the whole thing like I look at my podcast, you know, it's called Figuring It Out. I really do believe that, like, you can't fail if you just don't stop. That I will keep going until I figure it out.
• 6:25
  I will keep fucking up until I finally stumble across the answer that I've been searching for that will allow me to make this machine, make this thing work. And I have multiple books, but there's one in particular. I've spoken about it before on the podcast. There's one in particular that really means so much to me. It's called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
• 6:53
  Now I don't read this book. I did read it, and it was it was a great read, but it wasn't as special as listening to it on narration. So it's narrated on audiobook on Audible, on audiobook by a man called Jeremy Irons. If you've seen The Lion King, he had the voice for Scar. And the way he delivers that audiobook is incredible.
• 7:21
  It's so emotional and you really really connect with it. And it's always been amazing to me because it has whenever I've been in in that place, you know the pit. You know the pit, the mental pit. Where emotionally you feel like no matter what you do, you just feel like a fucking failure. I've always stuck that book on.
• 7:42
  Or whenever I've been lost whenever I've been a bit lost in terms of what is this whole thing about, I've always gone through that book, listened to it, and it's amazing. It's always presented me with the material that I need or the answer that I've been searching for and the advice necessary to allow me to keep going. And I'll tell you one thing that has always helped me and it was from that book. So if you haven't read it or listened to it, I'm not gonna kind of ruin it for you. It's effectively one big parable.
• 8:15
  So it's a story, but it's not a story to listen to. It's more a story in terms of like they share their lessons within the story, which again is a great lesson for you as a coach or as a business owner in terms of, you know, the best way to teach is to tell stories. And they really, really kinda share the whole story to really reveal the lessons that it's teaching. And and the alchemist says, at this one point where he talks to the boy, he says, there is one last thing that you need to learn. It's while you are in pursuit of your dream, while you are in pursuit of your own personal legend that right before you were about to realize that legend, the soul of the world, whatever it is, if you're religious, that's God.
• 9:06
  If you're not necessarily religious, but kind of spiritual, we're looking at like the the universe or whatever you wanna call it. I still haven't kind of defined what it is for me yet. It will test you right before you're about to realize your dream and achieve exactly what it is that you were searching for. It will test you more than any way that you've been tested beforehand. And effectively, he says that you're tested not because the soul of the world, God, universe is cruel, but because it needs to make sure that you have been able to master all of the lessons that you have had to learn along the way in order to be the person capable of achieving and realizing that dream.
• 9:54
  And and that has really, really helped me in terms of being able to keep going because I've known that when things have got really, really tough and really, really hard, I've always kept that in mind. I've gone, do you know what? This must mean that I'm near. This must mean that I'm close. And there is just a lesson that I need to look back into.
• 10:15
  There is a lesson that I need to go back into the archives of all of the things that have happened to me over the years and I need to go right, okay? Along this journey, based on the situation I'm currently in, what have been the lessons that I've learned when I've been in a similar situation? Why did I go wrong? And what is it that I did in order to overcome it? What do I need to do now?
• 10:37
  And, you know, I remember last year actually, I spoke at a big event for me. It was the first time really speaking on a stage, and I've always known that the one thing I've wanted to be has been a speaker. Like, I've wanted to be a speaker. I'm not sure why, but there's just this internal tug to speak. And I think that one thing I would really say to you here is that if you are a little bit lost, little bit stuck in terms of like, what is this whole thing about?
• 11:06
  Like, we look at the Callum Walker question mark. Like, what is it? You know, for you, if you feel like you you should be you are so much more than just a personal trainer. You are so much more than just a coach or a business owner or whatever, and you're searching for it. I've mentioned this on the podcast before.
• 11:23
  Do activities that make you feel like, yeah, this is it. Yeah, this is it. So I look at this doing a podcast for me. It takes the right way guys. This isn't for you.
• 11:34
  This is for me. I haven't done a podcast in a couple of weeks. And just doing this right now, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. This is it.
• 11:43
  You know, honestly, I'm standing here in this beautiful field. I'm looking at the sunrise over the hill the sunset over the hills doing the thing that I really love and I feel most alive at. And it's like, yeah, that's it. That is it. Keep going along this path.
• 12:01
  So that's one thing that can help. Find the activities that make you feel most alive, make you feel like, yep, that's it, and do more of that. Center everything around that. But coming back to it, you know, I've always wanted to be a speaker. Always wanted to be a speaker.
• 12:19
  And I got the opportunity to to speak on a stage last year. And I think it's about 200 and something people in the audience, but I'm speaking on a stage. Big thing, my first kind of proper gig as an actual speaker. And in the time before that, in the run up, was really kind of fine. I felt a little bit nervous, but about ten days running up to the event, I I really I really had a stumbling block.
• 12:51
  I what I kinda did was I had a talk that I'd done many a time. I've done a talk I've done many a time, and it was a good talk. It was good. But I was like, right. I wanna make it better.
• 13:02
  I wanna make it better. So what I did, I started reading Russell Brunson's book Expert Secrets and he was talking about the optimal way to put together, you know, a one to many presentations. So I've I've ran through Russell's book. I I took this, I took that, I took that, and I I had manufactured the perfect talk. Literally kinda like play by play in his book.
• 13:24
  And and I went to practice it and I froze. I froze while practicing about ten minutes in. I was like, oh my god. No. No.
• 13:36
  No. No. No. No. No.
• 13:38
  No. No. Why did I feel like that? Well, because here's my one opportunity, the one thing I've always asked for to to speak on a stage. I've been given the opportunity and I'm about to fuck it up.
• 13:51
  I'm about to fuck it up. And yeah. I honestly then in terms of my levels of anxiety, I would say that is the most anxious I've probably the second most anxious I've ever been. I was so anxious. I mean, I wasn't sleeping.
• 14:08
  You know, I don't know if you've ever experienced it, that feeling all over my body, my body felt heavy and just full of this like, oh, my heart felt so yeah. It was like carrying around a boulder and I just felt awful because I was like, oh my god. I've literally been given the one thing I've always asked for in a month and it's about to fail. And and during that time, I really had to think like, right. You know, I was listening to The Alchemist and and I came across that time, that exact statement.
• 14:41
  It said, right before you were about to realize your personal legend, your dream, the thing that you have been searching for, the universe will test you with all of the lessons that you've had to learn along the way. And I was like, right. What have been the things that have really helped me along the way? And when have I been successful? And there were two things.
• 15:05
  I'd been successful, first of all, when I'd come from a place of peace, when I'd focused on my breathing, my presence, and being able to see that nervousness anxiety as adrenaline and energy and really being able to take that step back that had always allowed me to to get to that place. And during that time, I'd neglected it. I was drinking a lot of caffeine. I was very much relying on creativity and execution through brute force as opposed to coming from a place of stillness. So that was lesson number one.
• 15:43
  So during that time when I was really really anxious, nervous, and I'd and again, I look at even something as simple as playing golf that when I put so much pressure on the outcome and I'd been nervous and anxious and absolutely swamped in this fear of failure, that's when I'd kinda messed up playing golf. But the thing that had helped me was being able to just take a step back, breathe, lower my caffeine intake, be present, yoga, meditation, and really operate and play from a place of stillness. And that was a lesson that I carried with me. But then the second one was why did I freeze? I froze because I tried to cram too many things into a short period of time, but also I froze because I started cramming someone else's material and someone else's stories into a talk.
• 16:36
  It wasn't mine. Why was that a problem? Well, I wasn't trusting myself to have a good enough content and good enough way of being able to deliver. And as a result, I saw that as, call it, universe, whatever, was saying to me like, hey, if you're gonna do it like that, it ain't gonna work. But trust yourself.
• 16:59
  Trust your own content. Tell your own story. Do it your way. So that's what I did. I did two things.
• 17:07
  Throughout the whole process, I cut my caffeine down. I practiced yoga every day. I was meditating. I spent time with those who love me and believed in me, who had always bought into me and gone, Cal, like you are you can do this. People are buying into you.
• 17:24
  Share your story. You can do it. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up. And then I told my story. I told my story.
• 17:35
  And it was amazing. The day before, I'll be completely honest, I was absolutely petrified with that feeling of anxiety. But for some reason in the back of my mind, I knew it's gonna be alright because right now I'm present. I've stripped everything out of that talk that isn't me and I've got it down to the bare bones. And you know what I did?
• 18:04
  I'd created loads of slides. And what's really interesting is if you've ever seen me perform, you've ever seen me speak, deliver a webinar, seminar, spoke at an event, I don't use slides. You know, if you're part of my program, you know, I have a whiteboard. So what I did was I just got rid of my slides. And I just basically like I had a couple of slides.
• 18:25
  I didn't use them and I just spoke from the whiteboard. And I remember it was amazing that that day when when I was speaking at the event, I I turned up, I got there, and as soon as I got there, I just felt a sense of calm. I just relaxed and I was like, let's go have some fun. This is it. This is what you've this is what you've worked towards.
• 18:49
  This is what you've wanted. Go and soak it up and go and enjoy it. And I did that. Now what's interesting was the next year I got invited to speak back again, which is pretty cool. I got invited to speak back again.
• 19:04
  I'm just gonna sit under a tree now. And and do you know what happened? I was practicing my lines on the day off. I was practicing my my talk. So I was on at 01:30 and and I was practicing my talk at 09:30AM.
• 19:23
  And do you know what happened? I froze, but in panic this time. It was amazing actually. I had this wave of calm overcome me. I was like, okay.
• 19:35
  I froze, but why did I freeze last time? Because I got a load of slides. And you know what I've done? I put a load of slides together. So fuck the slides.
• 19:46
  Fuck the slides. And and it was amazing. I even started my talk up saying, look, I got a couple of slides here. It's highly likely that I'm going to veer away from these slides. And thankfully, I've got a whiteboard here and I absolutely nailed it.
• 20:03
  So, you know, how can this help you? I think that, you know, what I would say is that if you are feeling in a place right now where it isn't working, it's not working. You're pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and you are putting your heart and soul into this thing and it's not working. Just remember that quote. Again, it's the night is dark.
• 20:30
  It's just before the dawn. And again, like he says in Batman, the night is darkest before the dawn and the dawn is coming. So if it does feel dark, if you are putting all of this work in, this energy, this effort, and you're getting nowhere, ask yourself the question, what lessons can I look back upon that will give me the answer to my solution? I promise you, you will be able to stumble across your answer that is necessary. I know for me, was pushing your membership and it wasn't working.
• 21:00
  I was pushing your membership and it wasn't working. I was like, right, what is it that people need? People don't want a membership. People want a course. Go back to a course.
• 21:09
  It's too low ticket. K? It's £97 a month. Problem with that, you need I need a 100 people on that to make $10 a month. Yeah?
• 21:18
  With a course, k, I can I can sell that? I can bring in more cash and people want a course. People want a course, not a membership. It it makes sense to them. So I I went back to a course and since then my life has changed drastically.
• 21:34
  So just remember that if things aren't working for you right now, if they're not going in that direction, the night is dark. It's just before the dawn. Just before you're about to realize your dream and finally achieve the goal that you've been searching for. The universe will test you to see if you're capable of being the person necessary to be able to accomplish that goal, to be able to achieve that dream. So if things are hard, you see it as no, this is just my test.
• 22:09
  This is my test. What am I made of? Am I going to learn from the lessons of the past or am I going to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again? So never forget that the reason why you can achieve whatever it is that you want in life is because you can become whoever it is that you want in life. The goal is not to achieve the thing, the goal is to become the person capable of achieving the thing.
• 22:34
  But just make sure that you're becoming the person that you wanna become, that you're achieving the thing that you wanna achieve yourself, and just figure out what those activities are, those actions that you can take that make you feel like, yes, this is it. This is the thing. For me, it's my podcast. Whenever I'm veering away from whatever it is that I feel like I'm doing, for example, within the alchemist he talks about whenever you're veering away from your personal legend, I come back and film a podcast. You know, being able to come out here, this has been beautiful.
• 23:09
  I must say past two day two week twenty minutes here. I've just gone for a walk in a beautiful field. I've got the moon to my left, which is massive. And I've got the sunset to my right. And I've got planes flying over me, the clouds.
• 23:26
  It's really it's magical. And this is what it's all about. Don't forget, if every one of your clients gave me just one new client, you've doubled your business.