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191 | Mean Girl Marketing: The Truth About Coaching Success · Women in The Coaching Arena

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  I was scrolling Instagram a few months ago and came across one of those posts, a carousel where a coach lists everything you're doing wrong and everything they're doing right.
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  That's fine if it has context around it.
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  If every single post shows that everything is always good for them, then I become suspicious because it's painting a picture that we know as humans is not true, but we do forget that when we are on social media,
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  and we think everyone else is having a better time than we are.
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  So no matter how much you are earning, nothing is always great.
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  And then I got to the final slide, and she shared her actual revenue figure, but it was much lower than mine, and it felt so surprising.
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  So it's actually all untrue about how many amazing things you're doing right and how many terrible things I must be doing wrong because actually the results are not showing that that is the case.
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  That is the moment that changed everything around how I see the industry because when people only show the good in the world and, like, how amazing their revenue has been this month, it doesn't always mean that they're better,
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  and worryingly, it doesn't always mean that it's true.
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  Welcome to Women in the Coaching Arena.
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  I am Jo Lott, and I have helped hundreds of qualified coaches get clients with honesty, not hype.
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  So let me tell you what mean girl marketing actually is.
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  Mean girl marketing is the coach on Instagram who tells you all of the mistakes you're making and then goes on to talk about all of the brilliant things she's getting right, the perfect life, the perfect business, and the
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  not so subtle message underneath is, "I'm doing everything right, you're doing everything wrong.
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  You need the secret code which only I have got."
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  Here's what that Instagram moment taught me.
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  Visibility and success are not the same thing Some of the loudest coaches in our industry, the ones who make you feel small with their polished content and shouty claims, are often not as successful as they're portraying.
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  I have sadly known some of these people personally, and I know that there are programs out there which have taught them to do this, have taught them to pretend that they're earning more than they are, to pretend everything
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  is brilliant.
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  Yet behind closed doors and behind those amazingly shiny Instagram posts, the reality is very different.
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  People genuinely make up how much they're earning, so more successful people think that they are successful and then choose to work with them.
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  And I'm not saying everyone is lying, but the confidence you see online isn't always backed up by results.
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  So really do your due diligence and be sure because, like, for example, I saw an email from someone that I used to follow years ago recently, and I always thought it was so strange that she used to send
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  these crazy messages saying, "You know, I have this secret code of energetics, which means that the moment you come work with me, you will be, you know, on a six-figure income."
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  And yet I was so tempted to reply because there's not once that she's ever used an actual client's real name, real story.
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  She'll just say like, "Sally came in last month and this, this, this," but there's never any video from Sally.
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  There's never any surname.
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  There's never a big shout-out and link to Sally's Instagram or page.
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  So do your due diligence and know that what you see online is not always the full story.
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  And this is why it breaks my heart because the coaches I work with inside my program are the most amazing people I have ever met, heart-led, values-driven, deep, caring, thoughtful, smart people.
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  And what they're often missing is time, effort in, the reps in, the patience, the courage to take bold action, and yes, marketing and business experience.
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  But those things can be learned.
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  So I always want people to know that it doesn't matter about your starting point.
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  I honestly believe that you can do this if you are in the right environment.
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  What mean girl marketing does is it makes these good people feel like they're not good enough.
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  So even if they are having an amazing financial month, it still ends up eroding their self-trust so gradually that they barely notice it happening, and they stop trusting their own voice, and they start thinking, "Maybe I need to
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  be pushier, cooler, pretend that things are true when they're just not true."
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  A coach came to me recently and said, "Jo, I feel like I'm doing it all wrong because I'm not being pushy enough."
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  And I said to her, and I really did mean this, "You're not doing it wrong, they're doing it wrong."
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  Because that's what mean girl marketing does.
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  It teaches good people to distrust themselves, to believe there's some aggressive hard sell version of marketing that they need to adopt if they want to succeed.
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  The ones that break my heart the most then give up entirely.
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  They leave the coaching industry, not because they aren't good enough, but because they feel like they aren't good enough.
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  And like I mentioned with the story earlier, even I feel like I'm not good enough when I read some of these people's posts, and I have got a successful business.
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  And so that is a real tragedy, because I think it helps to just talk about it and name it, so next time you see it, you can really see, is this true?
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  Do they have actual proof?
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  Do they have real names and first names, surnames, links to their client claims?
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  And this is how you can really start feeling what is right and wrong in the online world.
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  So that fake urgency of pretending that they're sold out or there's one place left, is that actually true?
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  When you go in their program, are there the people there that you thought there would be?
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  Or do you end up in an empty mastermind room despite them pretending everything was perfect online?
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  And the problem with that is you don't know until you've paid the money what is real and what isn't real.
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  So be careful about the flawless expert who never says anything goes wrong for them, and then just attracts clueless beginners who think that, "If I sign up with them, everything will be perfect for me, too."
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  Because there is no such thing as perfect.
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  So let's all start having genuine conversations.
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  Yes, sharing the good, because I do think we need that to see what's possible for us, but also sharing what goes along with the good of income, for example, like the hard work that you might need to put
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  in to create that income.
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  So the line here is intent.
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  Are you communicating clearly about everything that's going on with the nuance that it deserves, or are you manipulating feelings to force a sale?
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  I think most of us can tell the difference.
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  So what does good marketing look like?
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  Good marketing makes people feel stronger, not weaker.
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  So it meets people where they are.
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  It shows them that what they're experiencing is normal It gives them practical help and it builds trust.
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  And it just helps them see that, yes, it's normal to get support if you are learning something new or doing something you are unsure of.
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  I have built a core group program generating over 500,000 pounds from that one core group program in school hours, term time only.
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  I've worked with over 200 coaches, and I have never once told somebody that they are failing and that they can't do the same.
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  I have never used fake scarcity or shame to get somebody to buy because I still feel like you, my amazing ideal client, most of the time.
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  I am building my business just like you are building your business, and that is a balancing act with the school run, with AI changing things, sometimes wondering if we're doing this right.
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  So there is no magical line that you are going to cross when you're earning a certain revenue, which means you're doing things perfectly and everything is great from then on in.
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  Yes, it gets easier.
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  Yes, it's so worth the hard work for those things to get easier because you get quicker, you get more experienced, and you just get that depth of knowledge that really helps you to build a sustainable business.
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  So I hope it was helpful for you to become more aware of doing your due diligence online, making sure that the things you are believing in those moments are actually true.
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  And like I always say, trust yourself, believe in yourself, and be the wise gardener who keeps on watering the seeds.