Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / Flourishing in All Seasons w/Special Guest Dawn Ward

Transcript

Flourishing in All Seasons w/Special Guest Dawn Ward · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Karen, your show host, and today I'm talking with speaker, writer, and Bible teacher Dawn Ward on helping moms flourish in faith in every season.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Dawn is the author of From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children, and is the founder of the Faith to Flourish Ministry, equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Dawn is married with three adult children and lives in Las Vegas, Nevada.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: When she's not busy writing or serving in the women's ministry, you'll find her hanging out with her dogs and reading a good book.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Dawn, welcome to the show.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me, Karen.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad to be here.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I am so glad to have you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I looked at over the notes, and you have many different seasons of life that you could speak into.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I would love for you to share about the importance of taking care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, moms are the ultimate caregivers, and sometimes it's easy to put our own self-care on the back burner as we serve our families.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: So this is an important message.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: So please jump right in, share your story and what's on your heart for moms today.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it is really, uh Karen, like you were saying, hard for moms to take care of themselves.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: We tend to put ourselves on the back burner, and we're just natural caregivers.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And in my life of parenting, my season of parenting, my oldest son is rapidly approaching his 39th birthday, and I have a 36-year-old son and a 33-year-old daughter.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have really gone through all the different seasons of parenting at this point.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a grandmother yet.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: That would be a lot of fun, but but I have experienced that toll that that hands-on mothering takes.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And especially as your kids start to get older and maybe aren't making the wisest of choices, and now you're stressing out and doing all of that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've learned over the years that self-care is so important in all aspects: physical, emotional, taking care of our souls, taking care of ourselves spiritually.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And Jeremiah 17, 7 through 8 says, Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that verse when I think about flourishing in the various seasons that we have in life, because there's no time in life that we shouldn't be staying close to Jesus and putting our trust and our hope in him.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when I look at self-care, I look at the whole process as just one more aspect of my faith in the Lord and serving him and trusting in him.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so as I was looking at physical care and realizing that at different stages, physical self-care can be hard.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It can be really hard for moms who have little babies and toddlers and you know kids running all over the place.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so my encouragement is that they would first just start off by looking at their basic needs.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Don't feel like you have to, you know, prepare for a marathon unless your time allows for that, or spend two hours in the gym every day.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just start looking at ways that you can make small changes that will help take care of your health.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so in 1 Corinthians 6, 19 through 20, it says, Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So glorify God in your body.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, as busy moms, the Lord might not be asking you to do as much during this season.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: As I'm getting older, I'm finding that eating nutritionally and really staying active is really hard.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's necessary for me.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's harder, but it's necessary.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I encourage moms, don't forget to just drink water.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Drink six to eight glasses of water a day.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Always keep it available so you're just sipping on it all day.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not a big fan of water, you drink coffee, you drink soda, try to limit those to one or two a day and make sure you get that water in.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing that I really encourage is looking at what they're putting in their bodies.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I just say protein first.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: I tend to when I get into a brain fog, when I'm not feeling good, I read I look at how much protein I had today.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not one of those people that counts, you know, protein, grams, and all of that, but I just I lead with protein, and that's something I've read to do.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling like you need a snack, maybe have a small cup of yogurt or have a piece of string cheese or have a handful of nuts or something, but or a couple pieces of deli meat or something, but just get that protein into you, and then you can follow with some healthy fruits and non-starchy vegetables and kind of keep your portions of the potatoes and the rice uh down.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And also another thing that I do is I have always done this and I just do it in my brain, and it doesn't involve counting calories or anything like that, but it's I follow like a 90-10 plan.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I just say, well, gosh, if I'm having 30 meals a week, then 90% can be our healthy meals, and then I can have 10% where I allow myself a fun snack, or maybe the meal's not quite as healthy like a piece of pizza or something like that.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I just kind of keep track that way.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what is my what has my eating looked like this last several days?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to adjust and have a healthier uh meal plan?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's something to me that makes, you know, that you don't feel like you're just a slave to the scale and looking at, you know, counting your carbs and doing all of that.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's just to look at an overall balanced diet.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, and and I like I said, working in plastic surgery and dermatology, I always got kinds of good ideas from my patients when they would come in.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was a medical aesthetician and taking care of skin.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I saw what nutrition did for people and how they healed after surgery and how their skin did uh when they were eating well versus not eating well.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so we definitely heal better and feel better when we're eating well.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other point that I would give to a mom is just to first of all get moving, but also get rest.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, what does get moving look like?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you know, it doesn't have to be again hours at the gym, but just trying to stay active and incorporating activity into their life.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: As they get older and maybe there's more time in their life to do a more set routine of exercise, that's okay.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: But when my kids were little, it often meant putting them in a stroller and taking a walk around the block or uh jumping on my mini trampoline and you know, or doing a little YouTube video, exercise video, but just how they however you can fit it into your life versus making it this big thing that takes two or three hours a day while you have young children at home.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so making it fun, you know, walking, dancing, whatever it is that you enjoy, make sure that you get just activity and also rest.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where mothers generally, you know, will tell me that they just don't get enough sleep.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's a good thing.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I just encourage things like going to bed, you know, even 15 minutes early or a half hour early, and just doing that for a few nights and getting themselves used to slowing down, turning off their devices so that they're not getting that light into that blue light into their eyes, you know, maybe even turning off the TV an hour before bedtime and listening to some music or reading a book, and just allowing themselves to rest.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And may they might not fall asleep right away, but the rest is so important.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so those are some of the things I would look at for physical.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we get into the emotional and the mental, you know, when you look at and you listen to people and how they talk and what we hear on social media and when we turn on the television, we'll often hear a lot of grumbling, complaining, negativity, bad news.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's like, oh, if if you did, if it weren't for bad news, there'd be no news at all.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for that's saying that.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty sad, isn't it?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it's true.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is sad, yes.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so we can we can start to go down that spiral down into that, especially if we're with, you know, negative Nellie, who's always complaining and everything.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's just easy to catch ourselves spiraling down into that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've really, and and I grew up like that.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: My parents were very negative and just whined and complained, and it's just uh, you know, kind of a habit that they had that wasn't a good one.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't Christians, so that had a lot to do with it too.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, one of the best ways out of that to shift my mind, to shift my shift my perspective, and to just have an overall more positive outlook in life is to begin by practicing gratitude.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think it's so important to get up in the morning and just say thank you, Jesus.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, there's a beautiful song out, and it's uh one more day, but it says, Thank you, Jesus, for giving me one more day.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that song just ministers so much to my heart because that's what they're saying throughout the whole song is thank you, Jesus.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Jesus.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really contagious.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's something that as we start to thank him for one thing, he brings something else to our remembrance.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I encourage gratitude.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And for some people, writing it down and putting it in a journal or a jar is a really good habit to get into to help them shift from that mindset of looking at things negatively versus you know counting their blessings.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, another one that I look at is in to engage in mindful moments.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these are thought checks.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Our thoughts tend to wander, and we just can go off into the craziest things, like sometimes you just don't want to live in my brain.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so throughout the day, to stop and think about what you've just been thinking about.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's kind of a habit that I'm starting to get into.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, Don, what have you just been, what have you spent your last five, 10, 15 minutes thinking about?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the Bible tells us in Philippians 4.8, finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's in Philippians 4.8.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I try to take a look at my mindset and say, Lord, you know, have my thoughts been focused on you?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Have they been focused on what the good qualities of that person?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Have I been counting my blessings?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Have I been looking at ways to be a blessing to someone else?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or have I been on a pity party because you know, my life, my situation, whatever it is.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and trust me, there's times when things are really hard and this is not easy.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But that really helps me to put my mind back in check so that it's not just wandering.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because, and a good way to do that, as it says in Romans, is to not be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so we want to renew our mind by meditating on the word of God and and again be and practicing gratitude and just really being accountable for our thoughts.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the Holy Spirit is he's very good if we ask him.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: He'll show us, you know, he'll show us those areas where he's he's wanting to work on renewing our minds.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And another thing with emotional and mental, a third point is not to do it alone.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Moms can often feel very isolated.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I went through a season after my firstborn where I struggled with really deep depression, uh postpartum depression.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And he's almost 39 now.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So back then it was not something people talked about.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, there was a lot of shame attached to it.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: The doctors weren't even very supportive or helpful.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really struggled with that alone.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: When I did try to bring it up to a few friends who were new mothers, they just were like, oh my gosh, I never feel that way.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Babies are a blessing.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I knew my baby was a blessing, but I also knew I was crying all the time and feeling so overwhelmed and feeling like a horrible mother and all the things that go with that.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: So my encouragement is if you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling depressed, you're feeling anxious, to get support, you know, in the form of a good friend.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I found, especially for young mothers, I found that an older mother, somebody who maybe her kids were eight, nine, ten years older than mine, to be very helpful on my journey.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the Lord blessed me with women who they were still raising their kids, but they just had some extra years life experience that could say to me, Dawn, you know, don't don't major in the minors.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: That that's gonna be okay.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna work his way through that.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or, Dawn, this is something you really need to address.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I found having those parenting mentors and just good friends in my life to be so helpful uh for my emotional and mental health.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so don't isolate moms.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's that would be the thing.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Ask for support, ask for prayer.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and finally, we're gonna talk about spiritual soul care and self-care.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And busy moms, especially at all different stages, can feel like they don't have time.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I had time, but I just can't spend enough time in the Bible.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have time for a deep Bible study.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can't really go to ladies' ministry right now, that it's on the wrong day.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: My son has, you know, soccer practice or whatever it is.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was thinking about like, what are some of the practical ways that we can bring the Bible and grow spiritually with busy schedules?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, of course, I'm going to encourage these moms and these, you know, these parents to spend time in God's word and prayer.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I was also thinking about the, you know, the Bible app and how helpful that could be for someone who really is having a hard time actually getting into the word and being able to follow any kind of a reading plan.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so the Bible app, I've noted, and there's several of them out there.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I happen to use the U version one, but they've got some wonderful reading plans, uh, some teachings in there, some devotions in there.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: They have like a daily encouragement where a pastor or a leader will come on and share a scripture and what that scripture means.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And they also have an opportunity on there to spend just a couple of minutes in prayer, in a guided prayer, which can be a real encouragement.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can add your own prayers to that as well.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think a Bible app or a devotion that you can read every day, just that would take five or ten minutes, is a really good place to start if you feel like you're lacking that actual study time.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing is listening to a good Christian radio station where they can encourage you in the word, or listening to a podcast like yours, or uh just different podcasts that are encourage you.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's some out there that read the word and read and just discuss the Bible.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so those are other ways to do it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing is uh praise music and worship music, how the Lord speaks to us through just playing music in the background and allowing him just to speak to our heart through song.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that helps me a lot.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And now finally, my final thought is to talk to Jesus all day about everything.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And for my for mothers of young children, let them see you doing that.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, yes, you want that quiet time and that alone time, but I've lived through all those seasons, like I said, of parenting now, and I know those SOS prayers that I threw up to Jesus, and I know the times when I was able to spend a lot of time with him, and he supplies all of our needs according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So he knows what you need right now, mom, and he knows whether you need to be immersed in a deep, rich Bible study, or if just getting manna from heaven and getting those bits of the word of God throughout the whole day is what you need to sustain you.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh let your children see you praying, let your children hear you listening to the Bible, you know, on just playing it on audio.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let them um ask them to sit on your lap while you pray.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh ask them to pray with mommy.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Mommy's feeling sad today, mommy's feeling frustrated today.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Will you pray?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to give your kids all all the heavy stuff, but just let them know that this is what you do when you're feeling this way.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: You take it to Jesus.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it doesn't have to be formal, it's just talking to him, but also giving him that time to listen.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's just those times we need to just be quiet before him and just uh crowd, you know, just get rid of all the noise and take a few minutes and just say, Lord, what do you have to say to me?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because he faithfully will always uh give us exactly what we need at that moment to sustain us and to help us flourish even when life is hard.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so the scripture I would close with is Psalm 119, 105, and it says, Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: That is one of my favorite verses.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, Dawn, so good, so many fantastic tips for moms, and you are just such a wonderful resource for women.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know moms will want to connect with you online.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Where is the best place to find you?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: My webpage is thefaith to flourish.com, and there's a T H E in front of that because there's a different uh faith to flourish.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mine is thefaith to flourish.com.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: That generally has all the information of where you can find me, but I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, YouTube, so they can find me if they just look for the faith to flourish or if they look for Dawn R.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Ward, they can find me that way as well.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderful.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Dawn, thank you so much for being here and sharing.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, listeners, be sure to check the show notes because we will have links to connect with Dawn online to her social media handles as well as to her website.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll also find a link to a free mindset makeover study guide on her website.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: So be sure to check that out.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And please share this episode with someone you want to encourage.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: Hit like and subscribe so you never miss an episode, and then come back next week for another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, have a blessed week.