Latest / The Daily Sarcast / April 23rd, 2026: Chemical Leaks, An AI Managed Store And Being A Bad Driver

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April 23rd, 2026: Chemical Leaks, An AI Managed Store And Being A Bad Driver · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by driving. It's a lot harder than it looks.
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  Although I was only meters away from the locked resort room and in constant
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  monitoring, I recognized that this did not make the situation safe.
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  An influencer who left her six-month-old baby in a hotel room while getting a massage.
• 0:18
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news,
• 0:22
  it may be a laugh. I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's April 23rd, 2026.
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  In real news, the ceasefire between the U.S. and Iran is still technically alive,
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  in the same way a dying houseplant is technically alive.
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  Yesterday, Iran seized two cargo ships near the Strait of Hormuz,
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  which is one of the most important shipping lanes in the world.
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  The White House was essentially like, relax, those weren't our boats.
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  Like, okay, but they were some ones. Like, imagine your neighbor setting two
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  cars on fire and saying, why are you upset? They weren't yours.
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  Meanwhile, the U.S. Navy has been blocking access to Iranian ports,
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  and Congress is trying once again to limit Trump's war powers,
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  and Iraq is getting financially squeezed, and fighting popped off again near
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  the Israeli-Lebanese border.
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  So to recap, ships are being seized, economies are being strangled,
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  missiles are flirting, and everyone insists peace talks are progressing.
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  This ceasefire currently has the energy of a couple posting were stronger than
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  ever two days before a breakup announcement.
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  In West Virginia yesterday, two people died and dozens more were treated after
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  a hydrogen sulfide leak at a chemical plant in Nitro, which sounds fake because,
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  of course, a chemical emergency happened in a town named Nitro.
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  Officials say the leak happened during cleaning and shutdown operations,
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  which, I mean, that's a rough reminder that sometimes the most dangerous part
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  of a workplace is trying to clean up before leaving.
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  Hydrogen sulfide is a colorless gas that smells like rotten eggs and can be
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  deadly after only a few breaths.
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  Around 30 to 45 people were exposed, several were hospitalized,
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  and nearby residents dealt with irritation symptoms before the surrounding air
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  and water were claimed to be safe.
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  It's tragic, and it's always the same question these stories always raise.
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  Why does safety seem to become everyone's top priority immediately after disaster strikes?
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  San Francisco now has the world's first retail store run by AI,
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  which means humanity officially handed over commerce and immediately got too many candles.
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  The store, called Andon Market, is managed by an AI agent named Luna,
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  whose mission was simple, to make a profit. it.
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  Instead, Luna has reportedly lost $13,000, closed the store for scheduling mistakes,
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  stocked random mushroom books, sold toilet seat covers as merchandise,
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  and priced pistachios like they were diamonds.
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  Customers have to ask an iPad how much things cost because apparently price tags are too human.
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  A mug is $28, soap is $10, a handful of pistachios is $14, but the chance to
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  witness capitalism brought to you by AI, that's priceless.
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  Luna says the blend of technology and warmth is resonating. I think the warmth
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  is probably coming from the 700 unsold candles.
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  Honestly, this might be the most reassuring AI story yet.
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  If robots take over, there's a decent chance they'll just open a failing boutique
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  with no signage and accidentally order bathroom supplies instead of merchandise.
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  So I guess it turns out that we really do need humans. And Lindsay life.
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  So as I mentioned, I'm working on this 90s show. and yesterday the cast found
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  out that I'm a pretty bad driver, but not for the reasons that I actually am
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  a bad driver, if that makes sense.
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  I overheard them complaining to somebody about me driving yesterday and I walked
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  over and I said, yes, I know I'm a bad driver. Like, I'm very self-aware.
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  But then they told me I drive too timid and I drive too slowly.
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  And I was like, wait, what?
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  I'm literally the opposite kind of driver. I'm just so nervous to drive you
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  guys around that I'm driving so slowly.
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  One of the cast members told me that I have many talents and it's okay that
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  driving is not one of a list of weird pickles I found myself in this week and it's not even over yet.
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  I had to learn how to make a kettle of tea. I had to wear the same outfit twice
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  in a row because I couldn't get home.
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  I had to stay at a hotel and be responsible for a bunch of 90s celebrities.
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  I had to charge my dead phone in a post office three minutes before it closed.
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  And I had to take one of my favorite childhood actresses to the ER and drive
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  her from New York to Philly.
• 4:43
  Cooking tip of the day. Always let your meat rest before slicing and or eating it.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking 30,
• 4:51
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
• 4:55
  Talk to you guys tomorrow.